0:00

Lady Charmaine, are

0:00

you sure this Shadow Work is

0:03

light work? It looks

0:03

questionable to me.

0:06

It's fine Mx Zephy.

0:08

But what about toxic

0:08

light work?

0:11

Uggh, just grab

0:11

a warm beverage and settle in.

0:14

End scene! Just

0:14

misfits.

0:17

Hello beautiful

0:17

misfits! Are you fed up with the

0:20

good vibes only crowd?

0:22

People telling you where to go and how to be present?

0:25

Afraid to make

0:25

your own choices and free to be

0:28

you?

0:29

Feeling just trapped?

0:32

Us too. Join us

0:32

as we turn the light out on

0:35

spirituality and get comfortable

0:35

with the shadows right now, with

0:39

Misfit Mondays. Hey everyone, this is lady

0:40

Charmaine pronouns she | hers

0:53

and of course with me, as

0:53

always, is the esteemed Mx Zephy

0:57

pronouns xe | xem. And today,

0:57

from the core to community, we

1:04

discuss da da da limiting

1:04

beliefs. What are they? Why do

1:10

we hold them? And how do we also

1:10

make space to light that garbage

1:16

on fire and walk away just like

1:16

2020. This is the sequel to fuck

1:23

ego and the second episode in a

1:23

trilogy of episodes, the ask us

1:27

to fuck convention. So we're

1:27

gonna take a step back, away

1:33

from the what bleehh a step back

1:33

from the way things have always

1:40

been done. Why? Because we don't

1:40

do things the way they've always

1:44

been done around here. Because

1:44

we're not even going to edit my

1:47

mistake out. Why? Fuck

1:47

perfection, but guess what,

1:51

that's that's next week's

1:51

episode. For today, we are going

1:54

to start on a new path that

1:54

allows you to discover your

1:57

authenticity. So let's dive in

1:57

Mx Zephy.

2:03

So quick recap, if you

2:03

didn't listen to a really dense

2:06

episode that was ego, that I

2:06

don't know where half that stuff

2:10

came from. But it was there. So

2:10

limiting beliefs is kind of the

2:14

follow up because you're talking

2:14

about ego, being a lot of the

2:17

stories you tell yourselves

2:17

about your opinions, your

2:19

beliefs, and things like that.

2:19

And limiting decisions kind of

2:23

are rooted in your ego, like

2:23

your limited beliefs, your

2:26

limiting decisions, they're

2:26

really, really rooted in that

2:29

and they're, and they're not

2:29

really something you're born

2:32

with either. It just something

2:32

that kind of shows up in your

2:36

life. And they prevent us from

2:36

becoming who we want to be.

2:40

Because we tell us that, well, I

2:40

can't do that. Or that's too

2:43

hard. Or somebody said that I

2:43

can't so I can't, so I won't and

2:47

I shouldn't, or whatever it is.

2:47

We just decide that well. That's

2:53

not how we're going to do it.

2:53

And so we miss out on who we

2:56

truly could be. Because all the

2:56

no's we tell ourselves.

3:01

hmm, hmm. I can

3:01

hearken this back to episode a

3:08

couple weeks ago that we did

3:08

with Yogi Bryan, which was

3:11

absolutely amazing. But when I

3:11

started my yoga journey before,

3:16

I was a yoga teacher, many many

3:16

years ago, and I walked into my

3:21

first hot yoga class. Whoo, I

3:21

was so excited and my pony was

3:26

up high and tight that day. But

3:26

I walked in and I was the fat

3:32

girl in class. You know, I was a

3:32

not like everyone else I didn't

3:38

have on my, you know, namebrand

3:38

yoga pants and in matching water

3:46

bottle and yoga mat and all of

3:46

that jazz. And though I loved

3:52

yoga, and I continued to go, I,

3:52

I always like, Oh, I could never

3:58

I could never really be a yogi.

3:58

I couldn't have a daily

4:02

practice. I couldn't ever teach.

4:02

I'm just I'm not like that. I'm

4:06

not like them. I don't have the

4:06

qualifications. I don't have a

4:11

thin body. I don't have this or

4:11

that. Bull shit.

4:16

I say bullshit. I teach yoga

4:16

just fine in the body I have.

4:24

That's the interesting

4:24

thing, too is like you flipped

4:26

the script on this limiting

4:26

belief and you went out and did

4:28

it anyways. Because I think

4:28

that's I think that's the trap

4:31

that a lot of people fall into.

4:31

They tell themselves they can't

4:33

and so they don't and they

4:33

won't. And then they don't

4:35

explore what what could be. They

4:35

don't explore the possibility

4:39

and the promise of who they are.

4:39

So like with you is like, Oh, I

4:43

can't teach yoga. I don't have

4:43

the body or I'm too I'm too

4:46

this. I'm to that. But then you

4:46

decided like, Oh, I'm going to

4:50

do it anyways, what what made

4:50

you I like I'm kind of curious

4:53

now. So I'm gonna ask this

4:53

question. Getting curious with

4:56

Mx Zephy.

4:59

That's a whole other show folks. *laughs*

5:03

But what what made you

5:03

decide like, maybe I can? What

5:08

does this journey look like? How

5:08

can I, How can I start this

5:11

journey?

5:11

Well, you know,

5:11

I have to say that a lot of it

5:15

had to do with the boom of the

5:15

social media age, you know,

5:22

being able to see you and as

5:22

we've heard, this whole year

5:28

and, and forever, representation

5:28

is everything. And whether it's

5:36

a young girl of color, seeing a

5:36

great star, who represents, you

5:45

know, her and who she could

5:45

become. You we just, you know,

5:49

we have vice president of elect

5:49

Kamala Harris. And yeah, this is

5:54

a huge turning point for a lot

5:54

of people, but representation is

5:58

huge. No matter who you are. And

5:58

for me, and I mean, let's face

6:05

it, when you think yoga most

6:05

people think, thin white woman

6:09

with a cup of coffee with their

6:09

latte. They're double, faux paux

6:15

twaa, you know crap, a Chino,

6:15

something, something, and you

6:23

don't think about, you know,

6:23

some chunky Midwest chick

6:29

teaching yoga. So as social

6:29

media came around, and I started

6:33

to see more big bodies, not just

6:33

you know, women, but men, trans

6:42

individuals, showing up doing

6:42

yoga having, you know, these

6:48

great Instagram feeds full of

6:48

poses and, and bellies,

6:56

normalizing bellies was like

6:56

this huge thing for me, and I

7:00

was like, I can do this. This is

7:00

okay, people are doing this.

7:04

Like, it's okay. Maybe I'm the

7:04

first one where I live. But I'm

7:09

not the first one. So I can do

7:09

it, too. And that was a huge

7:14

piece for me.

7:15

So I so I think the

7:15

thing here is like, let's change

7:17

representation to two things. I

7:17

think one is, you have that

7:21

desire, because I think that

7:21

even though you said you

7:24

couldn't do it, I still think a

7:24

part of you wanted to do it. So

7:26

I think that desire was like,

7:26

seeded there at least.

7:29

Yes

7:29

The second piece was even with social media, everything else, you set a goal

7:31

for it, you're like, well, I see

7:35

all this representation. So

7:35

maybe I can do this. And so

7:38

like, and whether that was

7:38

conscious or unconscious, you

7:42

kind of started going towards

7:42

what you want and what you

7:45

believed you could do. And so I

7:45

think that then this leads into

7:48

that, like that key word of

7:48

manifestation. And I don't even

7:51

know if this is the right place

7:51

to talk about manifestation.

7:54

Let's throw that

7:54

down down for another day.

7:57

But But I think that's

7:57

but I think that's what happened

8:00

is you set a goal, you set an

8:00

intention, and you you and this

8:03

manifestation was an action. So

8:03

you, you you started believing

8:07

that you could so you did.

8:09

Right. And that

8:09

has been a big part of a lot of

8:17

what I do. You know, in my whole

8:17

goal, my whole business goal,

8:22

when I started speaking to

8:22

groups, and teaching other

8:28

holistic modalities was really

8:28

being the person that I needed

8:32

in life. You know, when I was

8:32

younger, when I was going

8:35

through these phases, I wanted

8:35

to be the person that I needed.

8:38

And in order to do that, I had

8:38

to look inside and look at all

8:42

of my limiting beliefs and say,

8:42

How can I help somebody else if

8:48

I'm not willing to jump that

8:48

hurdle first? How can I help

8:51

somebody else if I'm not willing

8:51

to take a risk for my own joy in

8:57

my own livelihood? How can I

8:57

help somebody else, if I'm not

9:01

willing to start paving a path?

9:01

I don't expect people to follow

9:05

me. I'm not a guru. I'm just

9:05

starting a little little trail.

9:11

And I hope somebody else can

9:11

come along and build their own

9:14

trail go in their own direction,

9:14

just knowing that their feet

9:19

will get through the grass just

9:19

as mine did. And that's how I

9:24

started. I still have limiting

9:24

beliefs. I still have things

9:27

that I haven't gotten courage to

9:27

do yet. It's like everything

9:34

that we do. It's it's a journey.

9:37

So I see. So this is

9:37

great, because actually, I'm

9:39

seeing like all these pieces.

9:39

It's like a gigantic puzzle

9:41

that's happening in my head. So

9:41

it seems like there's a seed of

9:44

passion, then you made a goal

9:44

based on the representation

9:47

everything you saw, then you

9:47

took action and manifested the

9:49

fuck out of that. And then you

9:49

decided then because of the

9:53

goals that you were achieving,

9:53

and the action that was taking

9:56

and feeling so great and

9:56

positive, that led to

10:00

empowerment, and feeling like

10:00

strong and capable and able to

10:03

do this. And I think that's

10:03

where this whole like, oh God,

10:07

where was I at? Oh, I just lost

10:07

my entire train of thought,

10:11

Oh, so we're fucking limiting beliefs here.

10:12

There we go. So yeah,

10:12

so as fucking limiting beliefs.

10:14

So it's like this step by step

10:14

process of like passion goal

10:18

action empowerment and then

10:18

that's how we're getting past

10:21

this limiting belief and we're

10:21

looking and I think the other

10:23

key piece to here was like you

10:23

were looking at your life and

10:26

you're saying, What is this? Is

10:26

this action in alignment with

10:29

who I want to be? And who I see

10:29

for myself? And am I trying to

10:34

improve it? Am I not like, what

10:34

direction Am I taking?

10:38

Right? And I

10:38

still have big directions to

10:41

take, you know, there's, there's

10:41

things out there that I still

10:43

want to do that I haven't

10:43

stepped into my power for yet.

10:48

And there's big transitions that

10:48

I want to make or need to make

10:55

that I have not. I'm not

10:55

prepared to do yet. And that's,

10:59

you know, self awareness. She's

10:59

a bitch somedays.

11:04

You know, but I love this thing where you're saying yet because for me, that's,

11:06

that's almost negating or almost

11:10

diminishing the power of like

11:10

this limiting belief, because

11:13

you're, that tells me there's a

11:13

seed in your head that, okay,

11:16

it's not yet but it's not a no,

11:16

it's a maybe it's a potential,

11:20

there's still something that

11:20

could happen here. And I think

11:24

it

11:24

It's a not now.

11:25

Right. And I and this

11:25

is the thing I heard about, like

11:27

even in like work, and in just

11:27

daily life, one of the things I

11:31

bitch about so much is language,

11:31

because language shapes so much

11:34

of our reality and how like, we

11:34

move in the world, and how

11:37

things and how we, you know,

11:37

interact with the world and how,

11:41

I don't know just how, who we

11:41

are as people is so much shaped

11:44

by our language, like when we

11:44

think and this is something that

11:47

you know, because I do prison

11:47

abolition in my day job.

11:50

Charmaine knows this. But like

11:50

when we talk about people who

11:53

are incarcerated, people who've

11:53

experienced the system, I don't

11:56

use words like felon or inmate

11:56

or convict or dah dah dah,

11:59

because when we use those language, it strips away dignity, it strips away

12:01

humanity. And instead by using

12:04

like, former incarcerated person, or somebody who's experienced this system would

12:06

put that people first, then

12:09

we're saying, Oh, this is a

12:09

person. And I think this is that

12:12

piece of language, because this

12:12

is now causing us to take a step

12:16

back. It's building that self

12:16

awareness and saying, alright,

12:18

so maybe this is not a you know,

12:18

you know, in Charmaine's case,

12:21

this is not No, this is a

12:21

potential, this is a maybe, and

12:24

so we can take that maybe and do

12:24

something with it. versus if you

12:27

had said, like, I have this

12:27

belief. And that's it. Well,

12:31

there's really nowhere you can

12:31

there's no jumping off point for

12:34

you, there's nowhere to go where

12:34

you can be like, well, I can I

12:37

can change this because you've

12:37

already said no. And you set

12:40

that you set that limit right there.

12:42

Right, it's like

12:42

cut it. So. And I know not

12:46

everyone listening might

12:46

subscribe to this, what I'm

12:50

about to say, but I truly

12:50

believe that we are here

12:56

individually with a soul

12:56

purpose. And there are many ways

13:02

that we can get to that purpose

13:02

in our journey. But it's there.

13:10

And I know that there are

13:10

certain things that I need to

13:15

do. I just feel it in my heart

13:15

and my soul. These are things

13:18

that I need to do. I'm not ready

13:18

for it now. But I can see it,

13:25

you know, like I can I visualize

13:25

I could see all these things.

13:30

And I think that when we say no,

13:30

when we allow these limiting

13:34

beliefs to be finite, it's like

13:34

we're cutting that cord to our

13:40

soul purpose. Well, now we've

13:40

got to find a different path.

13:45

And like, let me throw a

13:45

metaphor in here. Are you ready

13:50

for it? *laughs* Okay, so you

13:50

might not know this, because I

13:53

don't know if you know about

13:53

farm life at all. But if you're

13:55

gonna make rope. *laughs* you're

13:55

gonna make rope, you know, you

14:02

you have or, or yarn if you're

14:02

spinning, and you're really

14:07

spinning multiple fibers,

14:07

multiple strands, and the more

14:13

strands that you get together,

14:13

the thicker your rope is going

14:19

to be and the sturdier it's

14:19

going to be. So we want these

14:24

strings to our soul purpose to

14:24

kind of come together, you know,

14:27

you want to kind of align

14:27

yourself and all of these

14:31

different areas of your life

14:31

together. So then you have this

14:34

one thick sturdy strand getting

14:34

you to your purpose. And then

14:37

when we're saying, nope, I can't

14:37

do that. I'm, you know, I'm not

14:41

good enough for that, that, you

14:41

know, I'm to this, I'm to that

14:45

and we and we're finite about

14:45

it, then we're cutting that

14:48

strand, were completely giving

14:48

away a piece of that power and

14:52

the piece of the strength that

14:52

could get us to our purpose. So

14:57

Wow, I feel like that was deep.

14:57

Where did that..

14:59

I can make deeper if

14:59

you want, oh, for me, like,

15:04

*laughs and giggles* Let's go a

15:04

whole eight inches. So. So for

15:11

me, like I see these, like, if

15:11

we're, if we're you know, to

15:13

pull on your metaphor a little

15:13

bit more to, you know, on, you

15:17

know, unravel it just a little

15:17

bit, if we look at each of these

15:20

individual fibers as choices,

15:20

then we can see that these

15:24

aren't really, these aren't

15:24

truths, these aren't truths

15:27

about us, these aren't absolute,

15:27

these are just beliefs. And so

15:31

with that, it that tells you

15:31

that your limitations aren't

15:34

real, and that you have choice

15:34

in the matter, and that you have

15:36

choice to, you know, to align

15:36

with your soul purpose or not.

15:39

And whenever you don't, that's

15:39

when that rope frays a little

15:42

bit, because you're not lining

15:42

up with that. Um, and when that

15:45

rope is fraying, it's usually

15:45

because you're sticking by a

15:49

limited belief, as opposed to

15:49

saying, Is this really a truth?

15:55

Or is this a belief? What is

15:55

this? And how do I? And how do

15:58

I, you know, how do I what's

15:58

that word? What's that word

16:01

for... fusing, when you're

16:01

fusing rope ends together and

16:04

making them, you know, and

16:04

you're fusing those rope ends to

16:06

make them a little sturdier, because when you burn like the end of a rope, so I was Boy

16:08

Scout growing up, just let's

16:13

just throw that weird thing out.

16:14

You did sort of know what I was talking about.

16:16

Yeah. So like, when

16:16

when you fuse a rope, you

16:19

actually burn the ends of it,

16:19

and it keeps it from unraveling.

16:23

This is true.

16:23

So. So when we when we

16:23

have this choice, and you're and

16:24

So I'm going to ask you a

16:24

question just for fun. Do you

16:26

you're getting these rope

16:26

strands, and these strands are

16:28

aligning with the truth, and you've made these choices to align your truth and you find

16:30

your soul purpose, then you can

16:33

kind of fuse it and make sure

16:33

that you stay sturdy. And then

16:36

those limiting beliefs don't really affect you anymore, because you've just you've made

16:37

that choice to not stick by

16:40

those limiting beliefs and to

16:40

step into your power. And I took

16:45

that way deeper know what do you know what the

16:52

bite of a rope is?

16:57

Yes, but not right now. So I've

16:57

*cackles* heard the term but I

17:02

forgotten it.

17:03

Oh, I thought

17:03

you were you picking up what I

17:05

was putting down but your not.

17:05

Okay, so the bite of the rope is

17:09

when you fold your rope in half.

17:09

And it's the middle looped end,

17:14

you know. So you've got you put

17:14

pull your two loose ends

17:19

together, and you want it to be

17:19

perfectly even. And you go all

17:22

the way down. And then when you

17:22

get to that, that loop that's

17:25

left the the middle, that's the

17:25

bite of the rope. Now, why would

17:30

you know that? Why would I know

17:30

that? Well, riggers know why.

17:37

That's why Do you ever need to tie anybody

17:39

up? I'm your gal. Oh, I can help

17:47

you, help you. Yeah. So it's

17:47

always good to know how to use

17:52

your rope and know how to tie a

17:52

solid knot. And it's also very

17:56

good to not cut your ends from

17:56

your soul purpose.

18:03

Right? Well, and you

18:03

know, I think tying people up

18:06

and tying yourself up, folks is

18:06

a good place to, you know, to

18:10

wrap this one up, or tie this

18:10

one up.

18:14

We're tying up

18:14

these loose ends, we're gonna,

18:16

we're gonna take them up, give

18:16

them all that all dragon fly,

18:20

tie here and see if we get out

18:20

of it.

18:24

And I think that, you

18:24

know, here, it's like, even

18:26

small knots are good knots. Like

18:26

even when, when you're when

18:30

you're tying these things up,

18:30

like taking the smallest steps.

18:33

I'm picky, any of these small

18:33

steps will help you release that

18:40

limiting belief. And these first

18:40

steps don't even have to be

18:42

perfect, you know, fuck it up,

18:42

you know, fail into that let

18:46

fail into that limiting belief.

18:46

Follow that limiting belief as

18:50

far as it'll go, fuck it up,

18:50

fail, come back and figure out

18:53

what, whether or not that's the

18:53

actual truth. You know, really

18:56

dig into it. You don't need to

18:56

make it perfect all the time.

18:59

Just, you know, just keep trying

18:59

to head in the right direction

19:01

and keep trying to figure out

19:01

like, is this who I really am?

19:04

Is this really aligning with my

19:04

highest purpose? This is really,

19:07

and highest purpose for me is

19:07

also like highest good, like, Is

19:10

this where my soul was trying to

19:10

go? And just be and then also, I

19:14

think celebrating and

19:14

acknowledging that step too,

19:16

because I think it's so

19:16

celebrating those small wins are

19:19

the things that we forget to do.

19:19

And I think that those

19:22

celebrating those small wins and

19:22

making sure that we pay

19:24

attention then maybe

19:24

acknowledging that we have done

19:26

that is saying that hey, I've

19:26

succeeded. I've accomplished

19:29

something. And even if it's

19:29

small things Fuck yes.

19:33

I want to I want

19:33

to add to that. That whoosh just

19:39

went right through my head, damn

19:39

it. It was so good to Oh, why?

19:50

Free, breaking free from

19:50

limitations. I have no idea like

19:57

it was right there and then it

19:57

was right not there. All right,

20:02

so I guess we're gonna do a

20:02

guided meditation because I

20:06

don't know, maybe it'll come back to me.

20:08

Maybe.

20:10

Maybe. All

20:10

right. All right, everyone, our

20:15

beautiful, beautiful misfits.

20:15

You know the drill. If you are

20:20

unable to take in a guided

20:20

meditation at this time, go

20:24

ahead and pause us. And we will

20:24

be right here waiting for you

20:28

when you do have time.

20:28

Otherwise, let's come into a

20:31

nice seated position here. Ah,

20:31

and we're going to place our

20:38

hands on our solar plexus. So

20:38

right above our belly buttons.

20:45

And let's take a nice deep

20:45

breath in through our nose and

20:47

really allow yourself to expand

20:47

through the belly to take up

20:52

space here. Here's a limiting

20:52

belief that we got to suck it in

20:58

all the time, we don't inhale

20:58

and just really let the air flow

21:04

into the belly. And then blow it

21:04

all out. Blow which leaves no

21:11

air left, bring that belly

21:11

button all the way back to the

21:15

spine. Take a nice, deep inhale,

21:15

again, filling the belly and

21:24

exhale. And inhale again.

21:36

And exhale, you can just come back into your

21:43

regular breath here. But let's

21:48

be conscious of how our Solar

21:48

Plexus area moves as we breathe

21:54

in and out. This area here and our lungs and

22:04

diaphragm expands, holding our

22:14

willpower and our drive.

22:25

And this is the center of our

22:25

chakra system. So our our Solar

22:31

Plexus is really fueling energy

22:31

both up and down our chakra

22:36

system. And this is where you we

22:36

can push through limiting

22:45

beliefs. And this is also part

22:45

of the seed of our intuition,

23:00

our gut feeling. As we mindfully are aware of the

23:10

movement of our solar plexus,

23:18

let's give thanks to this space

23:18

to the fire it gives for our

23:31

willpower and drive and for our

23:31

gut feelings. And let's ask for

23:45

clarity here as we go forward

23:45

this week, to be conscious of

23:55

our gut feeling. And to not

23:55

label them as either good or

24:02

bad. But to feel them

24:13

and to allow this place to lead

24:13

us rather than our limiting

24:18

beliefs. We're going to set down

24:18

the ego and the limiting beliefs

24:24

a little more. And we're going

24:24

to come back to this fire within

24:31

us and to listen more clearly.

24:58

When you're ready, you can

24:58

slowly, gently open your eyes

25:02

and come back to this space. And

25:02

whenever you're having a moment

25:12

of a limiting belief this week,

25:12

go ahead and just give your

25:15

belly a little rub. You know,

25:15

just just give yourself a little

25:19

love there and take a moment to

25:19

breathe and be conscious of your

25:26

gut feeling over your head

25:26

feeling. Thank you so much for

25:32

joining us. We're so thankful

25:32

for all of you for all of our

25:37

listeners across the globe.

25:37

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

25:42

We appreciate you beyond words.

25:42

We hope to see you right back

25:47

here, next week.

25:53

Thank you for spending

25:53

time with us on this week's

25:55

Misfit Mondays. If you love what

25:55

you hear, subscribe to new

25:59

episodes and drop a review, or

25:59

connect with us on Patreon and

26:03

Instagram. We're looking forward

26:03

to catching you right here next

26:07

week. Thanks, folks.