0:27

Hi , I'm Rita Suzanne , and today I

0:29

have my guest Danielle with me

0:31

. Danielle , I'm so excited to chat with you

0:33

today and talk all about one of

0:35

my favorite things , which is mastering your

0:37

time . Tell everyone a little

0:39

bit more about you , your family

0:42

and your business , please .

0:44

Thanks so much for having me . So

0:46

, yes , also my favorite topic . I

0:48

am so happy to dive into this . A

0:50

little bit about me . So I am

0:53

Oklahoma-based and I have

0:55

three children . They are wild

0:57

teenagers 14 , 14 , and 16

1:00

. And I have been married for

1:02

goodness eight years and together 10

1:04

. So we're a blended family and

1:07

I am a multi-passionate entrepreneur . So

1:09

I own three companies from

1:12

events , from hosting

1:15

luxury retreats as well , but

1:17

I have an event company where I help other people

1:19

execute retreats . And then I'm also a business

1:21

revenue strategist , so I work with entrepreneurs

1:24

to help them master time , money

1:26

and energy . And we also have

1:28

a plumbing company . So we are a full

1:30

entrepreneurial household over here .

1:33

I love all of that . How are you

1:35

managing all to do all

1:37

of those things ? Because that is a lot .

1:40

I know that is why I had

1:42

to make Time Mastery like a

1:44

non-negotiable for me and I got

1:47

asked that a lot because I launched my first

1:49

company and then about two

1:51

years in , I went full time and

1:53

left my full time job and then within

1:55

the next year , I had launched my second company

1:57

and they were like , ok , how are you doing this ? Because at that

1:59

time my kids were five and seven and

2:03

I said , well , I had to get really clear

2:05

on what I valued . I had to

2:07

get really clear on what my

2:09

capacity was energetically , so

2:12

that my family didn't just get what was left of me

2:14

. And also there was a lot of processes like

2:16

delegation , automation , different

2:18

things in my business , but a lot of it was

2:20

the framework of how I revisited my

2:23

time and how I was

2:25

intentional with what , who and where

2:27

I spent it . So we can definitely dive

2:29

into that further today . But for me I

2:31

didn't realize what I was doing was like special

2:33

or something that other

2:35

people weren't implementing , but pretty

2:38

type A person and figured out like if I really want

2:41

to be an intentional mom but still run a

2:43

business , something has to change . And

2:45

so I started getting really intentional with what that looked

2:48

like .

2:49

Yeah , I think it's super important

2:51

and I find that a lot of

2:53

moms specifically like we

2:55

start our businesses because we want

2:57

to spend more time with our kids

2:59

. But and this happened with

3:01

me when I started my business I started 10

3:04

years ago , but I was so determined

3:07

I wanted to make sure that my

3:09

business was going to succeed right

3:11

, so I literally was designing

3:13

my life around my business

3:15

, and so my

3:17

advice is always now to other

3:19

moms is like really design

3:22

your business around your life . And

3:24

so do you have any tips and

3:26

advice on how moms and women

3:28

can actually do that instead

3:31

? Because I feel like if they start

3:33

out with that path , that would be

3:35

the better way to go .

3:37

Yeah , so I'm actually the same way . You

3:39

have to have a business that serves your life , but you

3:41

also have to have a system that ebbs and flows

3:44

, as our life ebbs and flows . And

3:47

I made the same mistake . My

3:49

desire to become an entrepreneur

3:51

came after the loss of my sister

3:53

, and I was working full

3:56

time and only seeing my daughter a few

3:58

hours of each evening . I was

4:00

a single mom at that time and I

4:02

was like I don't want to choose

4:05

whether I take care of her when

4:07

she's sick or I get a vacation with

4:09

her . Of course you chose when they were sick , but then I had

4:11

very little time to I get a vacation with her . And of course you chose when they were sick , but then I had very little time

4:14

to spend just being present with her

4:16

. And that realization that

4:18

that sudden loss in my family really

4:21

had me be like is this ? What success looks

4:23

like for me is working from 8am

4:25

to 5pm , an hour round

4:27

trip from my home , seeing the kiddo for

4:29

two hours and putting her to bed , and then on the weekends

4:32

, I'm so exhausted that she got

4:34

nothing right , like she got what

4:36

was left of me , and

4:38

so that was kind of the backstory for me . Well , when I built

4:40

my first company , I was I'm a certified

4:43

wedding and event specialist , and so I

4:45

built a wedding agency , essentially

4:47

just serving and hosting luxury

4:50

events , and , yes , I had more

4:52

time during the day

4:54

, but then , as my kids started school

4:56

, I was working when they were out of

4:58

school , and so I ended up building this business

5:00

. That was like the opposite , or really the same

5:02

. I thought it was going to be the opposite of

5:05

what I wanted and realized I had just repeated

5:07

a pattern of like now I'm working 15 hour days

5:09

on the weekends and I'm missing my kids , and

5:11

so that's kind of where the whole like your

5:14

business should serve your life came from . For me was like

5:16

, okay , I need to be able to ebb and flow in

5:18

my schedule and my and my work . As

5:20

my kids lives ebb and flow , just

5:22

like when they're graduated from college and they're

5:24

moving on or they go away to school

5:26

. I want to be able to travel and to see them . So

5:29

I'm all about really designing a business that

5:31

serves your life , but you have to figure out what

5:33

do I do right now to get to where I

5:35

want to go ? So , as a strategist

5:37

, of course , I want you thinking ahead of like what

5:40

would it look like ? Of course , for me I think five

5:42

years , typically , because , think about it Our kids are in

5:44

elementary school , then middle school , then

5:46

high school and then college , right ? So

5:55

, kind of , for me the five-year framework worked really well in my mind and I'm in that season of like same

5:58

as you read , I like five years . Our kids are going to be grown . That's wild . So what is that going to

6:00

look like ? Well , I knew I didn't want to look location

6:02

specific business , so I retired

6:04

full-time from the wedding industry back in November

6:06

, pivoted that business and

6:08

then for the last five years I've been building a business

6:10

that allows me to travel . It allows me

6:12

to do what I'm still passionate in leverage the

6:15

skill sets that I still have . But

6:17

I use a lot of what ? If

6:19

you want me to go deeper , I'll talk about the tools I use , but

6:22

I don't just want to ramble . So , is there any

6:24

questions before I move past this part ?

6:26

I mean , I think sharing tools is definitely

6:29

something that everybody wants

6:31

to hear about , right , because people love

6:33

to hear what's going on inside

6:35

of other people's businesses . Like they want

6:37

to know what are the tools that you use , how

6:39

are you using them . They would love to

6:41

even see you use them , you know . Like that's

6:44

what people love to know .

6:46

Okay . So this is where I nerd out

6:48

because , being with you , being 10

6:50

years into your business I'm eight years into my business

6:53

how much have we went to conferences

6:55

or different things and I host retreats . So

6:57

I'm like such a freak about making

6:59

sure people leave a tactical . It's like I don't just

7:02

want to come and be inspired . So if you are

7:04

like been listening for this long and you're like , okay , this

7:06

is the same , yada , yada , yeah , great , glad

7:16

you could run a business and like be a mom . But my life sucks right now and my kids are crazy

7:18

. We're running all around Like you're not alone . Listen , because I have some tactical things

7:20

, because this is where I love as an educator to like just show you . But the

7:22

deal is is I have I had

7:24

this best advice given to me years

7:27

ago and it was like if someone tells you that

7:29

there's only one way to do something , you run

7:31

the other freaking way . Right

7:33

, because I feel

7:35

like we have , as we're both strategy

7:37

girls , so we know that like there are strategies

7:40

and frameworks that work . But every

7:42

human is different the stage of life that they're in , their

7:44

energetic capacity , their personality , right

7:46

. So what I have designed was

7:49

a framework to

7:51

decide okay , in this season of my life

7:53

, what do I value ? So

7:56

I have a free core values workbook . I will

7:58

totally give it to everyone that wants it . But you

8:00

dismiss this because you hear it so often

8:02

like know what you value , know what you value , know

8:04

what your business values are . And then you're like cool , but like

8:07

I've done that already 10 years ago . But

8:09

who you were 10 years ago and who you are today

8:11

is totally different . Who you were at the end of

8:14

last year and where you are at the end of this first

8:16

quarter is totally different . You'll

8:19

know it . You'll know when that shift happens . So when

8:21

you start looking at your schedule and you dread things

8:23

, or you're coming at the end of the day and you're like , man

8:26

, my kids are getting nothing of me . Like you start feeling

8:28

that disconnect , that getting nothing of me . Like you start feeling that disconnect , that's when

8:30

you know something has shifted and something is not

8:32

working and is no longer feeling aligned

8:34

. So I start there first and I'm like okay

8:36

, for me , family is something

8:38

I value . Family is very broad . Okay

8:41

, but what does it look like on my schedule

8:43

to ensure that the things that I

8:45

value the most are happening ? People say

8:47

, well , I value my family . I'm like , show me where they're

8:50

at on your calendar , right

8:52

? So for me , my family is . I do not

8:54

take client calls after three . That

8:57

is my time with my kids . That is the time

8:59

with my family . That is where I'm spending going

9:01

to the gym with the kids , cooking dinner for them , talking

9:03

about lives . Weekends

9:05

are protected . I no longer work weekends

9:07

. I retired from that industry . You may be in

9:10

a season where weekends is your bread and butter , right

9:12

. So deciding what does that look

9:14

like , moving forward , but in this season

9:17

, where can I make sure family is a priority

9:19

at the other parts of your week , right ? So just

9:21

making sure in this season , where you're at . So

9:24

I always ask to come up first with what we value

9:26

. If I say I value my health , is

9:28

there a time to move my body ? Is there a time

9:30

to journal in the mornings ? Is there a time

9:33

to have a

9:35

healthy conversation with my husband , a date night

9:37

, like all that affects my health , right , our overall

9:40

, like overall wellbeing . So

9:42

I have kind of a template . It's super nerdy . I'm just

9:44

going to give you the best description I can through

9:46

voice . But it is a spreadsheet

9:48

and it is like all of my favorite colors . Okay

9:50

, so it

9:53

has like purple is my favorite

9:55

color , so everything that's like associated with

9:57

my wellbeing is going to be in a dark purple . Anything

10:00

that's in my family time is a

10:02

light purple , because to me I'm like that is like

10:04

, oh , I just love getting to spend time with them . Then

10:06

I have my green because we all need to make money

10:08

because we're all entrepreneurs and we're running a

10:10

business . So I want to make sure that there

10:12

are still sections of my time where there's a lighter

10:15

green for administration , backend

10:17

stuff , which a lot of times for me is delegating

10:19

and making sure that I know what's happening

10:21

in my business . And then I have like the

10:23

darker green where I'm coaching , I'm doing face-to-face

10:25

, like transactional type work . So

10:28

when I look at my schedule I'm like , okay

10:36

, I'm still running a business , but I'm also being an intentional mom . The front end of my day is

10:38

protected until 9am to make sure that I have got the kids off to school . Things are going great

10:40

, I'm ready , my foundation is laid , and then I have certain

10:42

theme days that I do and you've heard of this

10:44

, I'm sure you've taught about this like CEO days

10:46

. Right , I call mine me Mondays

10:48

, because that's when I work on the back end of my

10:50

business and I sprint and

10:52

I get things delegated to the team . If you don't

10:55

have a team , you're looking can I automate it ? Can

10:57

I ditch it ? Is it actually important

10:59

? And then I have the three days throughout

11:01

the week the Tuesday , wednesday , thursday where I'm coaching

11:04

and educating , done by three , to

11:06

pick up my kids , and

11:16

then on Fridays . Those are either an overflow if I've been sick or something happened

11:18

, or I call my Fridays because I can go and have a pedicure

11:20

, I have lunch with my girlfriends and set my energy to where it needs to

11:22

be so that I can show up for my kids for the rest of the weekend as the

11:24

mom that I really want to be . Now this

11:27

sounds easier said than done , because

11:30

life changes and things ebb and flow , so

11:32

I'm going to let Rita share a little bit more before I go

11:34

further , because I could talk about this for hours , but

11:37

that's just one thing that I do is I create

11:39

an ideal template , because I

11:41

can't just snap my fingers when my week has been all

11:43

over the place for six months and

11:46

things are booked out two weeks and think next week

11:48

it's going to look the way that I want it to . What it does

11:50

is it gives you a framework . This

11:53

is the vision that I'm casting . If I

11:55

could have an ideal week , this is what it

11:57

looks like . And then we start to say

11:59

yes and no and we start to direct

12:02

things to start serving us to

12:04

meet that vision that we have . And it's so

12:06

much closer than you think .

12:14

It truly is . Yeah , I agree , I do . I do something very , very similar

12:16

. I don't take any calls on Mondays or Fridays

12:18

, and I will . If I do any networking

12:20

, it's usually on Tuesdays , wednesdays

12:23

or Thursdays Any

12:25

local meetings that I have

12:27

as far as like local networking

12:29

. I will do some stuff on Fridays

12:32

, but it's usually because

12:34

I'm going to be out or I'm going to be out

12:36

doing something and I don't have

12:39

gym on the day that day . You know . So

12:41

it's , it's . It is more intentional

12:43

and you know , and , like you

12:46

, I don't have , I don't have social

12:48

media notifications on my phone

12:50

. I , you know , I don't have social media notifications on my

12:52

phone . I don't have my work email on my phone . I have all

12:54

these boundaries in place in

12:57

order to maintain , I guess

12:59

, my sanity right , because

13:01

otherwise I feel

13:03

like that is where we slip

13:06

and that's where we end

13:08

up becoming burnt out .

13:14

that's where we end up becoming burnt out and the

13:17

biggest problem us as mom business owners fall into , I think the

13:19

biggest problem is the burnout , yeah , and that's , and that is where

13:21

I gotten when I was working in the wedding industry

13:23

and I was like , okay , I can't meet

13:25

everyone else's version of success and

13:28

we're all in different seasons . So I'm comparing

13:30

your you're listening , comparing your season to two

13:33

moms that have teenagers . It's a bit different when

13:35

you have really littles , right , or you're a single

13:37

parent , or or you have shared

13:39

custody , and so it's like a week on is kind of crazy

13:41

and a week off is a little lighter . Like the

13:43

thing is is that you need to design

13:46

it to where it serves the season that you're in . And

13:49

I have a tab too that I use because

13:51

it's pretty consistent . But we have three kids that

13:53

are in sports and one in competitive

13:55

traveling sports , and so when

13:57

that happens we have to adjust . Dinners

14:01

look different , decompression time looks

14:03

different , the time that I'm moving , my body looks different

14:05

. But I still have to make sure that the

14:07

things that I value , that are going to fill my cup

14:09

, are happening , despite whether

14:11

it's a bit crazy or not . If I neglect

14:13

my health for four months because my kids

14:15

are in traveling ball season , then

14:18

it's going to be extremely hard

14:20

to get back into it . But secondly , my physical

14:22

health is going to suffer and I'm not going to be able to sustain

14:24

coaching , be able to play with my kids

14:26

after and playing catch in the yard , doing whatever

14:29

Right . So I want you to figure out like

14:31

, what does it look like to give ourselves permission

14:33

to change ? Summer looks different

14:35

for me .

14:36

Oh yeah . So

14:39

, what's working right now , yeah , yeah

14:41

.

14:42

So now we have to start kind of not like

14:45

start setting those boundaries that Rita mentioned and

14:47

start guiding our clients towards what

14:49

we really want things to

14:51

look like . So that's just a small part , and then

14:53

we have to be consistent , which is what I do , which

14:56

I can share .

14:56

The next kind of tactical thing that I do yeah

14:59

, and that's the thing

15:01

I think one of the things that a lot

15:03

of women struggle with as well is the

15:05

consistency piece . Right , we struggle

15:08

with the burnout and that's

15:10

because we're trying to do way too many

15:12

things , but then we struggle

15:14

with the consistency because we

15:17

are again we're trying to do too

15:19

many things and then we fall

15:21

off because we're

15:23

doing all of these things and then

15:25

things just start dropping and falling off

15:27

. So , yes , let's talk about what your

15:30

strategies are . Tactics are for

15:32

staying consistent .

15:33

Okay , so you've created this ideal week . You

15:35

figured out , like what do I value the most

15:38

? How does my ideal week look like ? I

15:40

know I have to start now like adjusting my calendar

15:42

or start adjusting things to start getting to where I want

15:44

to go . Like no , I can't take a four o'clock anymore

15:46

because I'm done at three . But there's

15:48

a way to approach boundaries where there's a mutual

15:51

. When , like you're not going to get the best of me

15:53

because I'm low energy at that time , you're

15:55

not going to get the best of me because I'm split focus and

15:57

I have kids running around in the house and opening

15:59

cabinets and doing all the things right . So

16:02

it's also like addressing that to not like I'm

16:04

just setting these boundaries , even though we don't have to

16:06

explain , we don't have to do that , you guys know that

16:08

. But the truth of the matter is like when

16:10

you are split focused or you're low energy , you're not

16:12

showing up best for your clients . So giving

16:14

them that permission to understand , like I understand

16:16

that you can only meet at noon

16:18

. I'm not available at that time because

16:20

X , y and Z . But I do have these open

16:23

and sometimes we lose people . But at

16:25

the end of the day , we don't want to be dreading

16:27

our work . They deserve a person that's

16:29

really excited , right ? So I

16:31

do what's called a Sunday success session . So now

16:33

that I kind of know what my schedule looks like and how I

16:35

want it to look , it takes consistency , right

16:37

. Some people don't want to do it on a

16:39

Sunday . I take around 15 minutes

16:42

or so on Sundays and I go through

16:44

what is called just my brain dump

16:46

session . So the first part of that is I'm like okay

16:48

, look at the calendar , what's coming up ? Oh , this

16:50

task has to happen because I have this with Rita

16:52

coming up , or I have to do this because I have an appointment

16:54

, or , oh , yeah , I forgot , leah

16:56

has this event and needs x , y and z . So I'm

16:58

just extracting everything

17:01

right there on the marker board

17:03

. I usually do it with sticky notes and just throw

17:05

it out of my head , do it on paper

17:07

and make a list . And then I go through

17:09

and I think of three things . I'm like what can I delegate

17:11

? So for you , if you can't delegate yet , what can

17:13

you ditch or automate , because sometimes

17:16

the things that you're doing are not urgent in that week , right

17:18

, and so I go through the delegate

17:20

, automate , ditch or keep , because

17:23

there are sometimes only things that I can do

17:25

, and one of the parts of getting to

17:27

where we want to be in our businesses is that

17:29

the truth of the matter is the people who are running three

17:31

companies . They are not doing it by themselves

17:33

and if they are , they're

17:35

not living a quality of life that is

17:38

sustainable , more than likely . I can't speak

17:40

for everyone , but I just cannot see that happening . So

17:47

I make sure that I delegate and I do those things on Sunday . So on Monday , when I'm working on the back

17:49

end of my business , I'm doing the only me tasks . I'm setting out those things

17:51

first and then I can jog throughout the week while

17:54

I'm serving my clients , rather than the split focus

17:56

. But I do that on Sunday and get it all

17:58

out of my head . My husband and I will meet on Sunday

18:00

night and we're just like okay , I have this kid

18:02

here , that kid there , what are ? Okay

18:04

, we have games that night , so we're eating out , like we

18:06

plan kind of a way to be

18:09

on the same page because we are both entrepreneurs

18:11

. And then each

18:13

evening I do what's called a 15 minute of

18:15

intentional focus and I know you guys are thinking

18:17

, holy crap , how does she do all this . I do the

18:20

ideal week very rarely

18:22

, when things are starting to shift and fill off

18:24

right , but it becomes easier One

18:27

day a week . I'm asking you to delegate , to

18:30

ditch and to extract what's going

18:32

on in your brain . But what happened on Sunday

18:34

? Monday , everything blew up

18:36

. Our emails are full So-and-so did

18:38

this ? This kid got sick , so we can't

18:40

expect what we set in place on Sunday to

18:42

look the same every day . So

18:44

I , while the husband showers , I take

18:47

a brain dump , just on paper . I

18:49

actually use Artful Agenda too , and I really love

18:51

that app . I don't know if you've ever used it . Yeah

18:54

, it's like 35 bucks a year . It's like super affordable

18:57

, but it just makes my creative heart sing

18:59

. It's like a scheduler and a task manager . It's really

19:01

fun . But I just get it out of my head

19:03

because I'm like , okay , this happened , this changed

19:05

, I need to do this tomorrow , and then I just wait till the next

19:07

day when I'm in the office . But it's out of my head

19:10

. Everything is taken care of

19:12

. I can lay my head down at night and sleep , but in

19:14

the beginning of the morning I have my notebook

19:16

with all the things that I need to do that

19:18

have shifted so that 15 minutes of focus

19:20

allows me to be like okay , is

19:23

something else now a priority over this ? Do

19:25

I need to shift an appointment ? Do I need to say no

19:27

, okay , I'm behind on this . Do I need to create

19:29

a block of time ? I don't use my computer

19:32

at night , so I do it on paper , old school

19:34

, and then I show up in the office the next morning and

19:36

I bring up it into my

19:39

calendar or delegate to my team

19:41

and it team and it's off my plate . So

19:44

that's kind of how I maintain it , kind

19:46

of figure out what I value . First I create that ideal

19:48

framework and then I show up each week

19:50

to assess like what do

19:52

I want to say yes to ? What can I handle ? What

19:55

can I not ? What can I let go of ? And

19:57

then that 15 minutes of focus allows me

19:59

to just be consistent with

20:01

mastering my time , Because if

20:04

you don't master it , someone else is going to . So

20:07

it requires that you give attention to it .

20:10

Yeah , I'll do , like a note , something

20:12

in my notes app or , you

20:14

know , physical paper I love . I'm

20:16

an . I'm a list maker as well , so

20:18

I will definitely . I'll

20:20

be driving and I'm making notes

20:22

. Oh yeah , I have to do this . Oh yeah , I have

20:25

to do that . And instead of , you know

20:27

, going into an app on my phone , I

20:29

will just make a list and

20:31

email it to myself or save it to

20:33

my notes notes app and

20:35

then just go in and and , you

20:37

know , fix it or whatever I have

20:40

to do , you know , later on .

20:42

Efficiency wise , doing it on your tech would make

20:44

sense . I just try not to do tech

20:47

at night . So for me , like again , you've

20:49

got to figure out what works for you . If

20:51

making a list on paper for the extraction and

20:53

then circling delegate is in purple and

20:56

automate is in red and only

20:58

I can do tasker in green , because those are

21:00

money making activities , like you don't

21:02

have to do the sticky note wall , you don't have to do a list

21:04

, you can do it right in your software , your

21:07

CRM , like whatever works for you . But the idea

21:09

is finding a system that works for you and

21:11

being consistent . If Sundays are

21:13

not your jam , do it Monday morning , do

21:15

it Friday before you leave the office , like whatever

21:17

it is that works for you . But

21:27

I can tell you , when people come to me and are like , how have you ran ? Three companies still show

21:29

up as a mom , still find time to work out , still try to do those things , it's because I prioritize

21:31

what I matter most or what matters most and that I care about the most and I'm consistent

21:33

with revisiting it and protecting it . But

21:36

I don't always get it right , guys . There

21:38

are times where I've overbooked myself , like

21:40

giving myself grace , but there are more times

21:42

than not where I get it right , and that's

21:45

because I give attention to it .

21:47

Yeah , and I think that that's important . And

21:49

really all I was saying with the list is

21:51

like just getting it out of my head . You know

21:53

, just like I'll remember , you know

21:56

things , and I'm just like , oh shoot , I

21:58

need to . You know , write this down . And you

22:00

know , make sure that I actually go

22:02

back and do it or revisit it

22:04

, or , you know , make sure that somebody else

22:06

is taking care of it . And

22:08

lately , what I've been doing is

22:10

taking things off of my

22:12

plate and meaning , like before

22:16

, when I started this podcast

22:18

, I had a directory

22:20

that went with it , and it was a free directory , and

22:22

and then

22:24

I was like , okay , now that I

22:26

have X amount of people in this , I'm

22:29

going to go ahead and monetize it , and . And

22:31

then I thought about it and I was like

22:33

, you know what , I'm just

22:35

going to let it go . I'm just going to , I'm just going

22:37

to let it go . I don't even care

22:40

that much like in educating

22:42

people on why it's important to actually

22:44

be in a directory , right

22:46

, it's important to be in a directory

22:48

is great for your SEO , it's great for

22:51

, you know , backlinks , it's really good for your

22:53

exposure , blah , blah , blah , all these other

22:55

things , right . And so I'm like you

22:57

know , trying to tell them it's great for

22:59

all these things , but I just don't

23:01

have the energy to do that . And I

23:03

also closed my shop , and

23:05

you know , I was like . You know , I'm just

23:07

taking things away

23:10

in order to alleviate time

23:12

for myself , because I just

23:14

want to focus on the things that I

23:16

feel like are more important for me

23:18

. Could I delegate those things and

23:20

have somebody else take care of it , like I did

23:22

? In the beginning ? Sure , but then

23:25

, you know , I just feel like

23:27

it's just too much for me

23:29

to kind of manage

23:31

and oversee . Do you know what I mean

23:33

?

23:34

No , I do , and the thing is so . You

23:36

know I talk about mastering time , money , energy

23:38

. Well , when you look at your time

23:40

and you create that ideal schedule and you're like , okay

23:42

, I only have from nine to

23:44

two each day to serve clients , looking

23:47

at your offer suite and being like , okay

23:49

, well , is it priced to

23:51

the way that I still hit the revenue goals that I need

23:54

for the time availability that

23:56

I have ? Strategist , I'm looking

23:59

and saying I can only

24:01

take X amount of coaching clients one-to-one

24:04

. Well

24:07

, in order to collapse that time , maybe I need to do a mastermind and maybe that pricing needs to look

24:09

a bit different . Or , hey , I know that I'm going to work less hours in the

24:11

summer , so what do I need to be doing intentionally throughout

24:13

the year to plan for that ? In order to master

24:16

the money and the energy side of things , you

24:18

have to master your time , because the time

24:20

mastery is what's going to give you the ability to make

24:22

more revenue and be strategic with it . Because

24:24

the thing is is , when you do this and you

24:26

realize , oh my gosh , I have to work

24:28

with 16 clients a week in

24:31

order to get to where I want to go financially

24:33

, energetically , that is not sustainable

24:36

. So then it lets you say , okay

24:38

, what else needs to look different ? Is it the

24:40

pricing ? Is it the actual offer in itself

24:42

? Is it that this whole thing over here , this

24:44

shop or this business that I have is completely

24:46

distracting me from what I want to

24:48

do differently ? That was hard for me

24:50

to let go of a six figure

24:52

stream of revenue and a successful event

24:54

company that I had built for almost

24:57

a decade , that I honestly

24:59

got leads without having to try

25:01

. And then here I am , like building a business that was

25:03

like brand new from the ground up and

25:05

I was like this is insanity . Like

25:07

everything you wanted is here and you're walking

25:09

away from it , but everything I wanted financially wasn't

25:12

giving me everything I wanted to experience

25:14

as a mom and as a wife

25:16

and as a daughter . Like I have this one life

25:18

, you have this one life , so let's

25:20

design that business to then meet what

25:22

you need . I love showing up

25:24

on the hours that I do and pouring into my clients

25:26

because I designed it that way . If I was showing

25:29

up for them at 6 PM , I'd be resentful , I'd be frustrated

25:31

, my family would suffer . So like I'm

25:34

smiling so big right now , even though

25:36

you can't see me because I'm like it is

25:38

closer than you think that it is . But

25:40

when you , when you start creating this ideal schedule

25:42

and you're like , oh my gosh , like no

25:45

wonder I'm drowning , the thing

25:47

is is show so much gratitude for yourself

25:49

for actually taking the time to have

25:51

the realization that the time and the energy that

25:53

you're putting in versus the money you're getting it isn't worth

25:55

it . Something's not working , something

25:58

has to look different , because what you're doing right now

26:00

, it may work for a

26:02

short season , but it's going to lead to that burnout

26:04

, redimension , it's going to lead to resentment . It's

26:07

going to lead to making mistakes in your business or

26:09

sacrificing relationships that

26:11

you truly value , and sometimes

26:13

not even knowing it , like

26:16

. I'll share with you just a little personal thing

26:18

for me two years into working

26:20

both businesses and trying to be a

26:22

mom , and I got married in that whole mess of things

26:24

, and my husband came to me one night

26:26

and he like sat down on the edge of the bed . He was like , babe

26:29

, the guy he's like I'm

26:31

so tired of seeing the top of your head . And

26:35

that hit me really hard because I thought

26:37

, well , I mean , he's doing his thing

26:40

and doing this Like I didn't even realize how much of a disconnect

26:42

it was . But he was literally like I'm so tired

26:44

of seeing the top of your head , like I miss you , and

26:47

I was just thinking like it's not worth

26:49

it . That email can't wait till tomorrow , you

26:52

know , or I maybe need help because I can't maintain

26:54

it on my own anymore . But

27:00

that really hit me in my gut when he said that , because he's so patient . But he was like very sad

27:02

. Something's got to change .

27:04

Yeah , I would say that one

27:06

of the things I

27:08

feel like , because I am so

27:11

dedicated to my business , it

27:13

has contributed to the

27:15

failure . You know the failure . It did contribute

27:17

to the failure of my marriage . It was a factor

27:19

of that . It

27:22

wasn't the main contributor , but it was

27:25

. You know I I put a lot of energy

27:27

into it and I always am telling the story

27:29

about . You know , I wanted to be home so

27:31

much with my kids and be be

27:33

there with my kids , but I was putting

27:36

so much of my time and energy into

27:38

my business that my

27:40

kids would literally draw pictures

27:42

of me on my computer . Like

27:44

you know how they're in kindergarten and

27:47

they're drawing pictures and this is my

27:49

mom . She's on her computer . You know

27:51

, like that's all she does . And

27:53

you know they would ask like what does your mom

27:55

do ? She's on her laptop all day

27:57

you know , like that's

28:00

what my kids answer would

28:02

be , would you know , would be things

28:04

of that nature , like she , all she does is work

28:06

and I , you know , and I would

28:08

feel so bad about it because . But

28:10

in my mind I was like I'm doing this for them

28:12

, you know , I'm doing this for

28:14

them especially , you know

28:17

, once I got a divorce and I'm a single

28:19

mom , like then you turn it up , it

28:21

turns up to even a higher level

28:24

of must do right

28:26

. And , and

28:28

I always tell people like the , I

28:30

think the driving force for a lot

28:32

of entrepreneurs

28:34

, whether you know , it doesn't matter gender

28:36

, whatever the case is is time

28:38

and financial freedom right , and oftentimes

28:42

it takes time to get

28:44

the time freedom right

28:46

, because the time

28:48

that it takes for you to build

28:50

your business is often you have to

28:52

go in and you're just working , work

28:54

, work , work , work , work . Initially

28:57

, you're building from from the

28:59

beginning .

29:04

Yeah , and I think that that's you know . There's going to be seasons , like people always

29:06

talk about balance , there's going to be seasons where I I don't I actually despise that

29:08

word , just honestly because I think

29:11

, yeah , like it's um , but

29:13

there there is intention . And if you

29:15

know that there's going to be a season where your business

29:17

is going to lead a little bit more forward , how can you be

29:20

intentional with what my dad always told me ? He was a

29:22

single dad and he was an entrepreneur of

29:24

two daughters and he

29:26

had us both full time . And he

29:28

would say it was always about

29:30

the quality of time versus

29:32

even the quantity of time . And if I look back

29:34

at my childhood , my dad worked hard . He

29:37

would drive two hours one way and two hours back

29:39

to make sure he was home for dinner because

29:42

we were all you know , he was all we had . And

29:44

I look back and I'm like you know I may have had

29:46

a lot of times where my dad wasn't in the stands at

29:48

a game because he was working , but

29:50

then when we were home on the weekends , we were

29:52

playing , he was down the floor with us , he was

29:54

engaging with us , we were outside , even doing chores

29:56

on the property , making

30:04

it fun and going and doing a little . You know , run to the grocery store and getting icy , or you

30:06

know , like truly . I look back and I'm like if he can do that as a single dad running

30:08

a company that's over four hours round trip away

30:10

, we can do it , but it doesn't

30:12

always mean that there wasn't times that he didn't miss

30:14

certain things because he had to prioritize

30:16

some things . So I think

30:18

the thing is , if you're going to be busier in a certain season

30:21

, being intentional with the weekend time or whatever

30:23

it is that few hours you have , what did

30:25

they want to do Now ? What is it

30:27

that you want to do ? What do your kids want you to do

30:29

? Could you give them two hours of that quality

30:32

time and fill their cup ? And

30:34

then they're going to be like that was amazing . And then

30:36

, guess what , you just got six hours back . I mean , I don't really know if

30:38

that's super religious , you know realistic , but my kids

30:40

were five and seven when I grew that business , um

30:42

, and I remember like there were times where I

30:44

was so tired but if I would just give , you know , two

30:47

hours of undivided attention to watch the movie they

30:49

wanted , or whatever they were , their cup

30:51

was filled . Um , so

30:53

I think , too is looking at it in the season that you're in

30:55

is how can we then make up for

30:57

that time ? In a sense , because

31:00

we're going to have hustle seasons . We're going to have seasons

31:02

where we have more time , that's free , and

31:04

it's taken a lot of years for you and I both to get to

31:06

the point where our businesses do serve our lives

31:08

. So , the ones listening to this , I'm telling you

31:11

it's closer than you think . Give

31:13

yourself some grace . But I'm

31:16

telling you to start getting clearer now , because

31:18

you don't want to be in the same place that you are now

31:20

. Five years from now , right , five

31:22

years from now , maybe your kids are graduated , like ours

31:24

. What is that going to look like ? Do you have the freedom

31:26

to go see them ? Do you have the freedom

31:28

to be that present mom and giving ourselves grace

31:31

for what happened in the past ? Because all we can do is focus

31:33

on what we're doing from today forward . That's all

31:35

we can do .

31:36

Right ? Yes , I think , I think

31:38

that that's super important . So

31:45

let's switch a little to talk about one of my favorite topics . So the reason that

31:47

I started this podcast was because

31:50

of the

31:52

situation that happened with my sister . So

31:55

if , for anybody who doesn't know so

31:57

, in January of 2020 , I found

31:59

out that I , you know , after I had

32:01

gotten divorced from my first husband , I

32:04

got remarried . I found out that my second

32:06

husband was not faithful and

32:08

then , two weeks later , I found out , you

32:10

know , my , my baby sister , had passed

32:12

away , and then COVID

32:14

kicks in , and then I

32:16

filed for divorce and I filed for custody

32:19

of my two nieces , leaving me a single

32:21

mom of four kids , right ? So all

32:23

that happened in 2020 , bad

32:27

year for everybody . It was a horrible . It

32:29

was a horrible year . So

32:31

January 21 comes around and

32:33

I think of this name

32:35

, mom owned and operated and I think what am I going to

32:37

do with this ? And I think I'm going to , you know

32:39

, have a podcast , and I

32:41

think what am I going to do ? I'm going to . What am I going

32:43

to talk about ? I'm going to interview other moms

32:46

because I need to know how they're doing

32:48

it , because I'm struggling so hard

32:51

right now . I'm struggling

32:53

to connect because obviously

32:55

and I would say obviously I had disconnected

32:57

myself from everybody , because I

32:59

was in a place of

33:01

grief , right , I was grieving

33:03

so hard from all of the things that

33:05

had changed in my life and because

33:08

, when all of these things happened to me , I

33:10

had to restructure my business and

33:12

my life in order

33:14

to accommodate now having four kids

33:16

and being a single mom . And

33:18

so , you know , I was grieving and so

33:20

I was like I have to figure out how to do all

33:22

these things . I need to figure , I need to ask all

33:24

these other mom business owners how are

33:26

they doing it ? Because I need to know , and

33:29

not just how are they running their businesses

33:32

? Because I know how to do that , but

33:34

how are they ? How are they , like

33:36

, taking care of themselves ? Because

33:38

that's what I wasn't doing . And

33:41

so let's , let's turn

33:43

it a little bit and let's talk about how

33:45

are you remembering yourself ? What are you doing

33:47

for you , danielle ?

33:49

So I have part of my

33:52

ideal week was to carve out time

33:54

for my intentional time . So I call it like my foundational

33:56

work . So I have a little space

33:58

in the corner of my office over here and

34:00

it has like my journals

34:03

and my books and my incense and all

34:05

the things that I love pictures of my grandma

34:08

and like just things that make me happy and

34:10

I had to prioritize , like

34:12

meditation , prayer , different

34:15

things that resonated with me , because I found that

34:17

I was so dysregulated . I was high stress

34:19

. I was like just serving and pouring into everyone

34:22

else . So in 2018 , I started what's called

34:24

my intentional time and my intentional space

34:26

, because my word that year was intentional , so

34:28

you probably heard me say it like a hundred million times . I

34:30

have a retreat called weekend of intention . I have

34:32

my quote that people know me for , but

34:34

it's on all the shirts and the mugs is intention

34:37

without action is mute . Like it shaped so

34:39

much of me because that's when I was coming out

34:41

of the deep burnout . I was also coming out

34:43

of the grief of my sister navigating

34:46

custody battles with a blended family . Like

34:49

that's where her and I were like , oh my gosh , you have so much in common

34:51

and I needed to lay a solid

34:54

foundation for me in order to show up for my kids

34:56

and to show up for my business

34:58

, but ultimately I had to matter and

35:01

then I also do what's called transition time

35:03

. So if you follow me on Instagram after this , you'll

35:06

see I live in like Oklahoma . It's not what

35:08

you would picture . I live in the most magical property

35:10

ever , and maybe I'm biased , but I've

35:12

lived here since I was nine , so

35:14

I share the property . I bought land next door to my

35:16

dad when I was 21 . And so this is the land

35:18

that my sister and I grew up on . We have a live

35:21

, spring and trees , and people think I'm at a park

35:23

or a jungle or something , but I

35:25

just go out for 15 minutes and

35:27

I just walk . Other

35:29

things for me , if it's freezing , cold out or it's pouring

35:31

rain , I will like

35:33

listen to music or I will do some yoga

35:36

. I do some foundational things

35:38

here and there . Transition time for

35:40

me is after work and before I see the kids , because

35:42

I have to switch hats Literally

35:44

. I wear hats kind of my signature and I'm like , okay

35:46

, I got to take off like this hat for

35:49

work and I have to switch into my mom cap

35:51

and I have to , like , cook dinner and ask how their

35:53

day was . And it's not all about me right

35:55

now , it's not all about my clients , but see , it's

35:57

been clients all day and it's been them all

35:59

evening . So I do have to carve

36:01

out that time in the ideal schedule where it's in that

36:03

purple . I said this is your transition

36:05

time . My husband will literally watch

36:08

me on the days that I'm like hustling and I'm cutting up

36:10

veggies and I'm angry , and he can tell . He's like hey , have

36:12

you been on the trails today ? And I'm like

36:14

no . He's like , hey , let me , let me do this and you just take

36:16

a minute . Like my family has learned over

36:18

the years that like , if I take 15

36:20

minutes for myself , they're old enough

36:22

now to see it that I'm a whole new person . I

36:25

am not dysregulated , I am not irritable

36:27

and sometimes

36:29

let's be honest sometimes when it's been real

36:31

rough , I just go to bed early

36:33

, I take a bath , I

36:36

shut the door and I do nothing

36:38

. So it needs to look what it like , what fits

36:40

into your life . But that's what

36:42

I do . And then I'll share one more thing that's

36:44

pretty cheesy . I

36:52

do a joy list and so you could do this If you don't already

36:54

. Pull out your phone and I want you to think what is something that would spark joy

36:56

for me ? That is not expensive , hard

36:58

to get . That is not expensive , hard to get , like just

37:00

something simple . So for me , popcorn

37:02

, root beer , fresca

37:12

, heineken , zero , walk in the woods or park , my Bad Bee playlist because you all know you have one

37:14

. Like I have the simple things and it's purple . And it's in my phone because

37:16

sometimes when I don't feel like joy and

37:18

I don't feel happy , I can choose to

37:21

do something that's going to shift my energy

37:23

and not leave me stuck feeling

37:25

that way . So sometimes the bad B playlist is

37:27

on . I'm in the car , in the driveway sometimes

37:30

.

37:31

Yeah , I love that . I

37:33

mean I think that that's so , that's

37:35

, that's a good way to

37:37

to actually get into it , right ? Because

37:39

you just you revisit the list

37:41

and it just kind of gets you in the mood to

37:44

you know , change , change whatever

37:46

is maybe yeah .

37:50

Mama and your kids are screaming in the backseat of your

37:52

minivan right now while you're listening to this podcast

37:55

and you're like , oh , I might just pull into the

37:57

seven 11 , grab it , I see , it's

37:59

okay . One I see is not going to kill you

38:01

, but if it gives you that sense of joy , just

38:03

that spark of like , oh , it's crazy

38:05

how much we can pivot that

38:07

emotion . I've taught my kids that I'll ask Leah , I'm

38:09

like where are you at on the emotional scale , especially

38:11

during COVID , when we were homeschooling and she

38:13

couldn't see any friends and she was in fourth grade and her whole

38:16

life was ending and I was like what do you need

38:18

? Like on here ? And she's like well , I'm

38:20

here , I'm angry , I'm like right , okay . So if

38:22

you're angry , where do you want ? What do you want to feel

38:24

like ? Well , I don't want to be angry and I don't

38:26

want to be sad . And

38:32

I'm like , okay , so what's on your list ? And she's like bubble bath

38:34

or she'll for you . But

38:36

those are short , inexpensive things . A $2

38:38

soda is going to change my whole

38:41

mood to have a Barks root beer in my hand Right

38:43

, and that makes

38:45

me just be able to kind of shift that energy back

38:47

to and grounds you . Maybe . Maybe that's really

38:49

what it does is maybe it just grounds you back into

38:51

like . This is how I want to feel .

38:54

Right that time in your life , from

38:56

when , when you first experienced

38:59

it probably , um , yeah

39:01

, I think that that's important , you know , because

39:03

I think that I sometimes

39:06

people associate self-care with

39:08

different things oh , I need to go get a manicure

39:11

, pedicure and I always try

39:13

to remind them that it doesn't

39:15

have to be , that it really can be as simple

39:17

as you sitting in your car for

39:19

a minute or , you know , being in the bathroom

39:22

by yourself , you know , like

39:24

you know , I remember for

39:26

the longest time I couldn't use the bathroom by

39:28

myself because my sons would stand in there

39:30

and talk to me forever , you

39:32

know , and I'm just

39:35

like , can I just be alone for a second

39:37

, you know ? So

39:39

, yeah , it just , really just , and

39:41

I love that joy list . I think that that's , that's

39:44

adorable , and I think it's something

39:46

that everybody should add to their

39:48

, to their phones

39:50

and keep . You know , keep them

39:52

, yeah .

39:53

Well , I think , like happiness is isn't something

39:55

we necessarily can control , like

39:58

it's a result of our circumstances , but joy

40:00

can be intentionally cultivated . So

40:02

if I can intentionally grab that favorite

40:04

drink or whatever and like and that's why

40:06

I want to bring it back to the basis is like

40:08

not everyone has the money or the time to go get a

40:10

massage , not everyone has the money or time to get

40:12

a pedicure . I plan for some of those

40:14

things now in this stage of my life , but it wasn't

40:17

always possible . So what could I

40:19

do to spark that joy in that short time

40:21

? And and for me it's a certain

40:23

song that hits right , or my favorite

40:25

treat when I'm having a rough day , my

40:28

husband brings me Thai food and like he knows

40:30

, like when I have Thai food I'm going to be a whole new

40:32

woman the next day , like that's my

40:34

guilty pleasure , but like that also

40:36

helps . Cause sometimes , like when I've shared this

40:38

before in groups guys women don't actually

40:40

know what brings them joy and it brings

40:43

up so much emotion . So if that's you thinking

40:45

I have my phone notes open right now and I don't

40:47

even know like , think about

40:49

when you were a kid , what brought you joy

40:51

. Mine was running around barefoot , being

40:53

in the woods picking flowers

40:55

. I do that now . If you follow me on Instagram , I'm like who

40:57

is this little weird hippie ? No , I mean I'm not that extreme

41:00

, but I am internally a giant hippie and

41:02

I will go out there and make dandelion tea and do

41:04

like the cheesy things , because that feeds

41:06

my soul . I'll look and be like how have I been out here

41:09

for two hours ? Like people are probably worried

41:11

about me , but that doesn't

41:13

cost me anything . So what

41:15

can you do ? That just may cost

41:17

you time . What can you do ? That

41:19

just may cost you time . So

41:21

again , the joy list is going to be something quick , but a quick walk in a park in your neighborhood or

41:23

something like that . If it can change your actual composition of how you

41:25

feel , your energy , your mental

41:28

health and you can walk in as a whole new person

41:30

, it's wild . It is wild what that joy

41:32

list can do for you .

41:34

Yeah , I think it's important to really

41:36

, like you're saying , cultivate your own

41:38

joy , because a lot of people

41:40

don't realize this , but you know , our brain

41:43

is like 80%

41:45

of your thoughts are negative , just intrinsically

41:47

. Like you , you can't control that

41:49

, and so that's why we do affirmations

41:51

, that's why we do these things , because we're trying

41:54

to restructure our brain

41:56

and get these negative

41:58

thoughts out of our brain , and so if

42:00

we have something like this joy list , then

42:02

we have something to reference to really get

42:05

us take us back to the places where

42:07

we experience the joy and

42:10

we can revisit that spot , and

42:12

I think that that's really a

42:14

lovely thing for people to do , and

42:16

I hope that some people take that

42:18

and start implementing

42:20

it , because that's a great

42:22

suggestion . Okay

42:24

, so where can everyone find you online

42:27

, daniel ? Where are you ?

42:29

Okay , so I'm Danielle Throckmorton . I

42:31

know it's a lot to spell out , but I'm

42:33

wearing the big hat and all of the pictures . But

42:36

Instagram might be a really good first place to

42:38

look for me , so that way you could see what other

42:40

businesses are tied there . But I actually have

42:43

it's free . When you , when you get on my website

42:45

, or if you want to send me a message

42:47

and just say , time , mastery , or

42:49

like I saw your episode with Rita and

42:52

I want to get more tools , I actually

42:54

have all the tools I talked about . So , like

42:56

, the template to create your ideal week , the

42:58

core values workbook , the

43:04

Sunday success session , video training everything is free . Everything

43:06

that I just mentioned is free on my email list . And then I'm the

43:08

person on the other side of it . I'm the person I run

43:10

my own social media the only thing that I haven't delegated

43:13

just because I really love connecting with people . Same

43:16

thing with my email . So , like , if you want to send me your joy

43:18

list , I

43:23

would love to see it . If you were like hey , I started working on this template . I have

43:25

a video on , like how to edit the template , so I have given all of that out there for free , because

43:27

at the end of the day , like what

43:29

she just said about , our mindset is

43:31

we think we don't have enough time because

43:34

we don't , because we're not mastering it . We

43:36

don't , you know , we don't think that . This is what

43:38

you're hearing is like it feels so far away . Good for her

43:40

, good for Rita , right , but the reality is

43:42

like you are the master of your time , you

43:44

are the master of your money , you are the master

43:47

of your energy . If you're not feeling that

43:49

way , put yourself around more people who are

43:51

saying I have done this and you can too , and

43:54

give yourself the permission to take action , because

43:56

you heard this episode and

44:00

, like my quote says , you can intend all day long to master your time , but if you don't

44:02

take the action , then it's me , you're

44:04

going to be in the same position you are right

44:06

now , six months from now . So my

44:08

gift is to give you guys those

44:11

tools to implement , but , at the end of the day , if you

44:13

do nothing with them , then you're going to

44:15

be in the same position , right

44:17

? So I would like to connect with you on Instagram first

44:19

, but really , I really

44:21

would love to see what's coming up for you and

44:23

what is it that came up on your joy

44:25

list . If you don't know where to start , let's brainstorm

44:28

. I really do want

44:30

to just get to know women and support

44:32

them because , just like Rita , like we've

44:34

both been burned out entrepreneurs who are struggling

44:36

and are trying to still maintain being

44:38

a mom and a wife and

44:41

an auntie and a sister

44:43

and all of the things . So you're just not

44:45

alone and I look forward to getting

44:47

to know you guys better and I'm just so grateful for

44:49

the opportunity to be here .

44:52

It's been such a pleasure and your website

44:54

and all of your links and everything will be

44:57

in the show notes and

44:59

they can connect with you there

45:01

. Thank you so much . I

45:03

have loved chatting with you . I

45:06

could go on and on .

45:07

Well , thanks for having me . I hope you guys enjoyed

45:10

it . And Rita , thanks for holding this space . For us it's

45:12

so important .

45:16

You're so .