We chat teabags, desk audits and only children as we survey Alan's move into 'success' (hospital radio > Radio 4) and 'love' (Carol). Plus: A game of 'Partridge Amongst the Pixels' originally broadcast live on Facebook. Is kicking a pig 'in self defence' the worst thing Alan's ever done? Is asking for 'loads of salary' a good interview technique? And who or what is Gus Honeybun?

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