Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:00
[coughing]
0:02
Welcome to Movie Life Crisis.
0:08
Join us as we watch the best movies from 30 years ago.
0:11
From Hollywood Pictures, they shared a past.
0:21
What up is my friend?
0:23
A trust. Thanks for always being there, Doc.
0:26
And an enemy. I want you to lie.
0:28
- Live together, they fought a battle at the OK Corral.
0:31
The West would never forget.
0:33
- Oh my God. (grunts)
0:36
- Herc Russell is wider.
0:38
Val Kilmer is Doc Holliday.
0:41
They're bringing justice to Tombstone, right at our.
0:45
- What was that?
0:48
- Oh man, so two things. One is if I just heard that trailer
0:52
and then I went to see the movie, I would think it was gonna be on "Cinemax."
0:56
I was just thinking that did you get the trailer from Porn Hub or something?
1:00
Why was it like that? This is the Emmanuel Ghost of Space, Tombstone version.
1:04
And the other thing is I know during this episode, I'm going to call Doc Holiday, Doc Holly,
1:11
what about five times? You're definitely going to do that.
1:13
But that's what happens when you do the Red Shoot Diaries of Tombstone.
1:17
What? What was that really?
1:19
That's the TV spot dude. That's the TV spot.
1:22
I looked at three of them. They all have that same music.
1:25
That is so weird. - That's the music. - Remember that music.
1:27
- It's not in the movie at all. It's all frickin' violins and shit.
1:31
And the score in the movie. But I guess they wanted to church it up a little bit
1:34
for the TV audience. Get people interested through that late night music on there.
1:38
- We'll put the buds in the seats with the porn music.
1:41
- Awesome. - Yeah, or they're selling perfume.
1:44
I definitely felt like I was gonna be like a silhouette
1:46
and a scarf. - I'm wide-open.
1:49
I wear a tombstone. - Kurt Russell.
1:52
Kurt Russell's got the facial expressions to sell Cologne.
1:55
and he's like squintin' all the time. - Yeah, yeah.
1:57
- Movie life crisis, JT, your Jeff. This is season three episode 16, Tombstone.
2:02
- Wow. 16 already.
2:05
- It happened so fast. - I shan't believe it.
2:07
- The days are long, but the years are short. - Can we do it a podcast?
2:10
(laughing) - Oh man, the people I know in real life
2:14
keep asking me why we say that every time. (laughing)
2:17
I'm sorry, everyone. - Dude, we don't have time to explain
2:21
all the dumb shit we do, all the reasons that we do it.
2:23
just because you and I and only you and I think it's even slightly funny.
2:27
Yeah, if it makes us chuckle, we're going to do it.
2:30
Yeah, I'm your Huckleberry. Let's talk about...
2:35
Let's talk about it. Let's talk about Tombstone.
2:39
Do you want a quick synopsis? Yeah, give me a synopsis.
2:42
I just realized that Robert Mitchem was doing the narration.
2:44
I had not looked that up. I was like, oh, I like that guy.
2:47
Really? This whole time I thought it was what's his name with the big master?
2:50
Well, that didn't ever do it. Sam Elliott.
2:52
Sam Elliott. Man, he should narrate everything.
2:55
I love his voice. - Yeah, he's got a good voice. - I watched the behind the scenes feature at
2:59
that someone just ripped right off the Tombstone DVD.
3:01
And every time I did say, "Malay, it was talking, I was like, "gotta love that guy when he talked."
3:04
- He's got a good voice. - Yeah. - Good voice.
3:07
- All right, Wyatt opened his brothers Morgan and Virgil,
3:09
have left their gunslinger ways behind them
3:11
to settle down and start a business in the town
3:13
of Tombstone, Arizona, while they're looking
3:16
to find trouble, trouble. Soon, find them, finds them,
3:19
and they become targets of ruthless cowboy gang.
3:21
Now together with the white, with white's best friend,
3:24
Doc Holliday, dang it, dang it.
3:28
Doc Holliday, the brothers pick up their guns
3:31
once more and restore order to a lawless land.
3:33
- I was trying to figure out if Tombstone was like, it's an Arizona, but is that like Flagstaff Arizona,
3:38
like up north or is it way down by Mexico?
3:40
And it's definitely way down by Mexico. - It's, yeah, it's way down low.
3:44
- But well, the reason I wondered that is because the whole movie,
3:46
everyone's wearing three-piece suits with like big wool coats.
3:49
and I was like, I've been to Arizona, how are they doing that?
3:52
- I don't care if it's the northern part of Arizona,
3:54
you still ain't wearing a three-piece suit.
3:56
Dude, I marked that down too. Are people just not sweating?
3:59
Like, this is a serious question.
4:01
I'm wondering, oh, it's a movie.
4:03
That's why they don't show them sweating.
4:05
Or are they really just people didn't sweat back then?
4:08
- How does that, I think, I'm just assuming everybody was drenched with sweat all the time.
4:12
Wait, so actually, I had this for a little bit later,
4:14
but I'm gonna move it up right now while we're doing it. I wrote a list of, what would you like least
4:18
about living in the old west. I got some options for you, I'm gonna let you pick.
4:22
- Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready. - So I got no AC, long pants, long sleeves,
4:28
full suit, all the time with a hat.
4:30
- Yeah. - I've got moustaches, I've got,
4:33
having to ride horses everywhere.
4:36
I've got, everyone carrying a pistol all the time.
4:39
And then finally, I've got pooping outdoors.
4:41
- This is a hard choice.
4:44
- Unless you got anything you want to ride in on that bow.
4:47
- Well, this thing is, I think we've all seen my mustache.
4:50
I can't grow it into a-- - I was gonna say, I know mustache is gonna be up,
4:53
is it leading contender for you?
4:55
You've got the anti-hitler. You can't grow the mustache, where Hitler's mustache was.
5:00
- That just proves that I like the Jews.
5:02
- Yeah, obviously. - Me and Hitler could make out
5:05
and our mustache is for never touch. It's really weird, it just doesn't grow there.
5:10
But there was that one guy,
5:12
and he looked like he was maybe from Mexico.
5:15
- Yeah, it was like a Hispanic guy. Yeah, yeah, and he had just the tiny little tuffs of hair
5:19
out to the side. I could grow this.
5:21
Yeah, I could grow that. Dude, all of those are horrible.
5:26
Horrible. I don't wanna do any of that.
5:28
I don't even like pooping on vacation without a Vidae anymore.
5:32
Like I don't wanna poop outside.
5:34
No, no, while we're in cowboy boots in a full suit.
5:38
So once you're done, you can pull up your wool pants.
5:41
Actually wipe your ass with sand.
5:45
(laughing)
5:47
I was just thinking, I know what my back doors like
5:50
after I sweat in pants when I don't want to.
5:53
I can only imagine if I couldn't clean myself properly.
5:56
That is, you'd be pooping in that river where they had that shootout.
5:59
How much did hookers get paid in that town to deal with that?
6:04
That is horrible. Yeah, all of those, 'cause the whole movie I'm going,
6:07
"Man, Westerns are so cool, I really like them." And then I'm going, "I hate all of this, though."
6:10
No, there's no air conditioning. There's no, there's no light.
6:13
If you want to light up the place at night, you just light a thousand candles,
6:16
and then you just keep thinking, how did everyone not die in a fire?
6:19
There's candles everywhere. I was gonna ask you that too.
6:21
There was a fire in the back of one scene where they're like walking in slow motion.
6:25
And I was like, how bad is it that every building
6:27
is made of wood? And the only way to put it out
6:30
is to run back and forth with a bunch of buckets.
6:32
With buckets of water, the fire brigade. Yeah, that's captain of the fire brigade.
6:36
Yeah, like the horses are kind of fun.
6:39
Like mustache, if we were doing a live podcast
6:41
and we were doing tombstone, I would have shaved the mustache just for the episode,
6:44
but since we don't use the video, I didn't need to do that.
6:47
- Yeah, I can't grow mustache, so I still would have been the same thing.
6:51
- Yeah. (laughs) - Same thing.
6:53
- In the NoAC, if it was like in Flagstaff
6:55
and the mountains of Arizona, that could be,
6:57
that would be okay, but in, on the Mexican border,
7:00
that would be, no, I would die.
7:03
- I do, it's brutal.
7:05
Right now it's hot here. - Yeah.
7:07
- I can't, it's dude. - When I walk from my studio to my truck,
7:11
I think this is too hot. And that takes like 10 seconds.
7:15
- Of course it does. - Yeah, it's too hot.
7:18
Way, way too hot. - Anyway, and when that house burned in the movie,
7:22
they didn't like explain why it was on fire.
7:25
- No, that's why I put in the, I didn't understand that.
7:28
- Well, I was gonna say, I have that on the, on the like just random shit about this movie
7:32
that I like is the director said like,
7:35
I wanted to show in the background stuff
7:37
like you would see in a real Western town. Like there was a guy, there was a kid cleaning up
7:41
horse shit in the shot.
7:43
Like I wanted him to do that because that's what really would have happened in these
7:46
towns. And so I think the house being on fire was kind of like that except that's a weird enough
7:50
thing that you kind of should have explained it. Especially since all four of them turned around and looked at the fire and then kept walking
7:55
in slow motion. Yeah, none of them went like well to the Red shoe diaries theme.
8:02
Not my house. Keep it going.
8:04
There was a couple of times like I saw there were Asian people.
8:08
I assumed Chinese because they were all Chinese back then.
8:11
Yeah. They had like the, uh, the big round hat.
8:14
It looks like a symbol that like a walk all.
8:16
Yeah. Yeah. Button up all the way to the neck with some spats on their shoes.
8:19
Yeah. They were just walking through town. Nobody ever mentioned them ever.
8:22
No. And well, and also, uh, they said the background actors instead of hiring like
8:28
actors to go, hey, you put on this costume and then walk across the road.
8:32
They actually hired reenactors.
8:34
Almost reenactors. 'cause I think they called them like Buccaneers
8:38
or something like that or Buccarous.
8:40
Like dudes that like to dress up like The Old West.
8:45
And so like one of them came down from Montana
8:48
and was like, "Yeah, I wanna be an extra in the movie."
8:51
I'm coming down and it's like, yeah.
8:53
And Kurt Russell was like talking to him. I guess he knew him and he's like,
8:55
well, you know you'll have to sleep in a tent.
8:57
The whole time we're shooting, he's like, oh, a tent, that's awesome.
8:59
I was just gonna bring my bed roll. Oh my gosh.
9:03
So everyone in the scenes that isn't speaking, all the background actors are really like
9:07
old West reenactors, like that's their horse,
9:09
that's their clothes, that's their gun, like it's all period correct.
9:12
- That's ridiculous, that's crazy man.
9:15
'Cause there was people like, there was an old guy used to come in a CVS.
9:19
He's just a big cowboy hat,
9:21
like the shirt with the pearly buttons,
9:23
snap and like tassels and he had like a revolver on his hip.
9:28
Like it was a real like concealed weapon carry thing.
9:32
- Right. - On his hip boots, tight jeans,
9:34
and I was like, "This guy loves being a cowboy."
9:37
But then he walks outside and gets in
9:39
like a Ford Taurus and drives home. So like, that's weird.
9:43
But like, he likes the whole stick. So maybe, yeah.
9:46
- Maybe there's a lot of people out there like that.
9:49
- They're definitely are. And they were, I think, a lot of them were in this movie.
9:52
Anyway, the budget, $25 million,
9:54
budget, $73 million gross, it's number 20 on the year.
9:58
- That's crazy. - $73 million doesn't sound like it made a lot of money,
10:02
But you got to remember in the '90s, there were eight movies that made $100,000.
10:07
$100 million. Sorry.
10:09
Right. Yeah, yeah.
10:11
Like, Schindler's list didn't make $100 million.
10:13
Yeah, but so this is rated R.
10:15
And this is also R rated, which automatically is going to cut your gross probably in half.
10:20
Right. Especially, I mean, I guess there's no PG-13 at this point in time, but yeah, I think it's
10:25
just because of the violence. I think having it R, what's a Oppenheimer's R?
10:31
- Oppenheimer's R, yes. - Yeah.
10:33
- And it's made a lot of money. I think that's like a thing that's--
10:35
- It's made a ton of money. - That they're talking about though.
10:38
- Well, it's outperformed a lot, but I think because of it being R rated,
10:43
it's like, oh, it's only gonna make whatever many millions of dollars and it's made way more.
10:46
- Yeah, yeah. I think to be honest, I don't understand why this is R.
10:50
'Cause they had PG-13 at this point because it was like what, 89 wins.
10:55
- Oh yeah, you're right. - Oh yeah, you're right. - So like early 90s they rolled that out.
10:57
- So 89 I think is when, what's the second Indian
11:02
of Jones? - Temple of the New.
11:04
- I think that's the one, isn't it? - Yeah. - Yeah.
11:06
- So like they had PG-13, they could have made this
11:09
PG-13, what did they have in it that was,
11:12
I mean other than shooting in some way. - I don't know, but it was also kind of old West.
11:16
Shooting, like they didn't show people's like,
11:19
guts exploding, they would show the gun
11:21
and like the smoke coming out of it. So it really wasn't even like that violent to me.
11:25
- And they weren't even holding the guns correctly, I think. - No, well it's weird 'cause they had spent so much energy
11:30
on the period correctness, but some of the gunshot,
11:32
some of the shooting scenes, they're like, that guy shot a shotgun at someone like a thousand miles away
11:37
and he didn't even hold it against his shoulder. He was holding it up over his head.
11:40
- Right. - It's like that was kinda weird. - There was a lot of times they were throwing the guns around.
11:45
It looked like that movie with Angelina Jolie
11:47
where they could make the bullets bend. - Yeah, I wanted.
11:50
- Wanted, yeah. And they were shooting like that.
11:52
I was just like, that took me out of it a little bit.
11:55
I think the reason that those shots looked so weird to us
11:57
is because they were all using single action revolvers.
12:00
So every time they shot, they'd have to with their thumb,
12:02
cock it first. - Pull it back, yeah. - I think I just made it look weird.
12:05
- It did look weird. - 'Cause when I would see people doing it,
12:07
I was like, "This is like me when I was like eight years old
12:09
and I would do that with my thumbs." - Pow, pow. - I was like,
12:12
trying to cock the gun and then shoot it. But that might have been part of that too.
12:15
- Yeah. - Dude, when I looked for awards,
12:18
I didn't see any, I did see that, you know,
12:20
Cisco and Ebert, Ebert said that this year,
12:22
this movie was good and it got lost in the year
12:25
in Holiday Shuffle and it never got the recognition it deserves.
12:28
So he thinks if it would have came out earlier in the year, it would have won some stuff.
12:32
I don't know the politics of how you get nominated for stuff and if it's Kurt Russell
12:38
to mainstream to get nominated for stuff, but the production design in this movie was
12:43
frickin' incredible. And the costumes were amazing.
12:45
Yeah, all of that stuff looked great.
12:48
And like Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday was so damn good.
12:52
- Yeah, it's one of his roles that everybody talks about
12:55
when they talk about him. - Yeah, you can find a lot of stuff on YouTube
12:58
but people over the years asking him at like on interviews and at festivals and stuff,
13:02
comic fest going like, hey, talk about Doc Holliday,
13:05
like how'd you come up with that guy?
13:07
- Yeah. - That do it? Does say, "Hollywood." - No, you said it right.
13:10
You almost did it. - I almost did it. - You hesitated. (laughing)
13:13
- I know. - You hesitated. You hesitated.
13:15
All of us are like, "Doc Holliday." - Doc Holl, Doc, a Doc.
13:20
And so when he was Doc, he was playing Doc.
13:22
- Yeah, it was. I didn't find any awards.
13:25
I didn't find any sequels or spin-offs. I mean, there've been like 50 movies about Wider.
13:29
I don't know where there's any directly tied into this one.
13:33
- Not tied to, well, the making of Tombstone,
13:36
they had a book about that in 2018.
13:38
There was a paperback book that they wrote based on the screenplay.
13:42
- Oh yeah, I did see that. - And then this is all based off
13:45
for those dime novels that came out way back in the gap.
13:50
There's a guy named Ned Butt-Buntline
13:52
that writes all those dime novels. That's what these are based off of.
13:55
- Nice. - Where it's like heroes, choose virtue over vice and stuff like that.
13:59
And then I think we would be remiss
14:01
if we didn't mention that the Wyatt Earp movie
14:04
with Kevin Costner came out six months after this.
14:07
- Yeah, I was trying to think of that 'cause one of the doc holiday quotes that I was thinking of
14:12
(laughing) was from that Wyatt Earp movie with Kevin Costner.
14:16
And I was like, waiting for Miss Aida's like, "I'll never set it."
14:18
I was like, "Shit, I want it." I was like, oh, it's from the other wider.
14:21
- It's the other. - It came out. It's the frickin' Armageddon deep impact
14:24
where they're making the same movie twice in the same year with different studios.
14:28
- But it's not like Transformers and Transformers
14:31
that you're just trying to get somebody's grandma
14:33
to buy the wrong thing. - Right.
14:36
This one's slightly cheaper. It's a genuine sorny.
14:40
Do you remember when you first saw this movie?
14:45
- I don't remember the very first time,
14:47
but I know for sure this was a movie we recorded off HBO on VHS.
14:51
And I can remember what the sticker looks like on the outside,
14:54
because I have it in my classroom.
14:56
I don't remember where I first thought though, but that's where it.
14:59
That's where it is now. I feel I probably would have had to have been in like a junior or senior in high
15:05
school before I would have been able to see this because we didn't have HBO.
15:08
And I wasn't I couldn't see our rated movies prior to that unless my dad was
15:12
with me or something. And then eventually I get to the point where it's like, I would do whatever you want.
15:15
I don't care. But at this point, I would have been in junior high, I wasn't able to do that.
15:19
So it would have been a couple of years. But no, I know we watched this in high school because I remember we used to quote it all
15:25
the time. So I don't know if I saw like a made for TV version or if someone had a VHS that I borrowed.
15:30
Right. But there's a lot of dialogue from this movie that I remember we used to, like Andrew Fowler
15:35
used to love this movie and quoted it all the time.
15:38
Yeah, there's a bunch of people that we grew up with that like this movie.
15:41
Yeah. Where'd you rate it?
15:43
No sevens. No sevens.
15:45
I went back and forth from an enjoyment level.
15:50
I got it about a six and a half.
15:52
The more I started thinking about it afterwards,
15:54
the more detail that there were in the costumes and the guns
15:59
and the production design and like everybody's efforts
16:04
to really portray these real people.
16:06
I was like, you know, I really like when people do that.
16:09
And so I bumped it to eight, eight out of 10 Jimmy Dogs.
16:12
- Damn it. So I don't know if you were watching me write my notes
16:16
as I was writing them online or something,
16:19
but I put 6.5 because I enjoyed it,
16:22
but all of the history wasn't super accurate
16:24
and I don't like Westerns.
16:28
But every single set looked awesome
16:31
and all of the people and how they dressed were perfect
16:35
and I liked it so I gave it an eight also.
16:37
- Yeah, that sucks, that's unfortunate. I hate when we wait, wait, wait, movies the same.
16:41
That's what I'm saying. - But we do. - I don't, that's literally the exact same thought I had.
16:46
'Cause I don't like Westerns that much.
16:48
Like spaghetti Westerns, that's not for me.
16:52
But like. - I don't like Westerns as much as I like comedies,
16:55
but it may just be that there aren't as many that I think are really entertaining.
16:58
'Cause I do like this one, and I do like quick in the dead,
17:01
which I think is a 94 or 95. So there are some that I like,
17:04
but like there's some, when it's like,
17:06
"Hey, 310 to you, "is that everyone says it's awesome?" And I don't care about that, I'm not watching that.
17:10
- Right, I've seen that. Like I see a lot of them, but I just,
17:13
I'm sure if I watched it, I would enjoy it. I would rather sit on my couch than drive to a movie theater
17:18
and watch that. And I know if someone said, come watch this with me,
17:21
I would like it. - Right, right, and you would.
17:25
But the thing is, I just can't,
17:28
I don't know what it is about Westerns, I don't like.
17:30
Like all of the stuff you mentioned about why I wouldn't like living in the West
17:34
is part of the reason I don't like it. But then there's other things.
17:37
We'll talk about, I have some stuff in the worst.
17:39
- Yeah, man. I had to bump it a little bit because the cast is unbelievable.
17:43
It's like 15 deep. I kept writing down.
17:46
I was like, holy shit, I'm like, that's frickin' Jason
17:50
Prisley, that's Billy Zane, that's Charlton Heston.
17:52
Like, people keep coming out of the woodworks
17:54
and appearing in this movie, and that's incredible.
17:57
I think Val Kilmer, I think this performance
17:59
is one of the best performances of any actor in this decade.
18:03
- Wasn't Val Kilmer Batman in this decade?
18:06
- Yes, and he beats that by a lot.
18:09
- Wait a second, Captain Ron is also in this decade.
18:14
- Kurt Russell. - Kurt Russell.
18:17
- Great job. Always been a fast healer. Of course I believe in Jesus so that helps.
18:20
(laughing) - Oh man, the people in real life also talk about
18:25
how much you hate that movie but still quoted. It's great.
18:28
- Yeah, just 'cause I thought it was not funny
18:31
and everyone was in the wrong roles. It doesn't mean it didn't hit a couple funny lines.
18:36
- Go Rilla! - Go Rilla.
18:38
He's doing it on purpose. (laughing)
18:42
Yeah, no, I think that the Val Kilmer Doc Holiday performance is one of the best.
18:46
It's so good, man. And I had like eight quotes.
18:49
Some like, all right, it's really well written.
18:52
I think it's pretty historically accurate. There's crazy cast list.
18:56
So I gave it a little bump. - Yeah, now I'm with you.
18:59
Everything that all the stuff you're mentioning
19:01
is the same reason I gave it the bump too. - Like dude, I was just typing as the movie was going along
19:06
people that were showing up at the movie and I was like, all right, Kurt Russell,
19:08
Bill Paxton, Sam Elliott, Val Kilmer, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Zane, Jason Priestley,
19:13
Thomas Hayden Church, Terry O'Quinn, Charleston Heston, Michael Rooker, Michael B.N.
19:18
Powers Booth. I was just typing as people would appear on screen.
19:20
I was like, "I know that guy. That's the guy from this yondu from going to the galaxy."
19:27
It is, yeah. Like that's Charleston Heston.
19:29
He probably brought all his own guns.
19:32
From my cold dead fingers or hand or whatever he says.
19:35
Yeah, dude. Let's do some scenes.
19:37
What's your first scene? - All right, first scene is towards the beginning,
19:42
Doc Holiday is playing cards with a guy named Ed.
19:45
- Yeah. - And they raises them all the way up to like 500 bucks
19:49
and Doc Holiday ends up throwing a hand down that wins
19:53
and he loses his mind.
19:55
And like as he's putting it down, he's like, "Idn't that daisy?
19:58
"Idn't that a daisy?" Or something like that.
20:00
And that guy gets mad. And they're talking back and forth in Doc Holiday's.
20:06
He's always got his gun right here in the holster
20:08
in front of his leg, you know, like right there.
20:11
- Yeah, it's like, there's no like low slung
20:13
holsters in this movie. They're always like, it's like tucked into
20:15
like in front of his belly, like on his opposite hand side.
20:18
- Yeah, yeah, and he's always like, just cross body draw. - Cross body draw.
20:21
- You call that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's touching the butt of the gun
20:24
with his fingers just very, are we crossed?
20:27
And I wanna keep you as my friend.
20:29
If you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it.
20:32
Like he was throwing it on thick
20:34
And that guy was super mad and he tries to reach for his gun and Doc holiday pulls both of them out before the guy even
20:41
Has his hand all the way on his gun
20:44
And then he takes the guns out and sets them in the pot on top of all the money taps the guns
20:50
He's like there you go with friends again And that guy tries to make a move anyway and Doc holiday freaking stabs him with a knife. Yeah, that whole scene was freaking sweet
20:58
Yeah, that was awesome
21:01
even filled with TB, he was quicker than the other guy.
21:05
- Yeah, because the guy was like, he's like, without them guns,
21:08
you're just a skinny little, I was trying to figure out what you're saying,
21:10
he was saying longer. - Longer, yeah. - Yeah, longer, yeah.
21:12
- Because he had tuberculosis and he's like coughing up blood all the time.
21:15
And so Doc takes his guns out, sets them in the pot and he's like,
21:18
"There, no more guns. "Now we can be friends." I would break my heart if we weren't able to be friends.
21:21
And then the guy like jumps him, velcomer stabs him, and it's like,
21:25
all right, even though he's all sickly and he doesn't need his guns,
21:27
he's still gonna stab somebody.
21:29
He could have just coughed on him. If you know TB's contagious,
21:33
not as contagious as the flu, but it's contagious.
21:36
- I was wondering, I was like, I don't know how you get tuberculosis
21:39
or how easy it is to give it to someone else, but no one seemed to mind
21:42
that he was coughing at tuberculosis all over him.
21:44
- Dude, coughing and sneezing
21:46
and any kind of droplets that you inhale
21:50
or get on your mucus membranes, all of a sudden now you have TB.
21:54
It's a bacteria. - So that whole tuberculosis thing
21:58
could have been prevented if everyone and we just wore a mask.
22:00
- Just a mask up and save everyone.
22:04
- Just a mask up and save lives. - Save lives.
22:06
(laughing) - Dude, and I also like that the Kevin Jari,
22:09
the writer, this script, I think is so,
22:11
it doesn't, it doesn't pander at all
22:13
because there's people all throughout saying, like throwing out slang that I didn't understand.
22:18
- Yeah, right, right. - Like longer and like, when they were talking about gunfights,
22:22
they were saying all kind of slang I never even heard of and it's like Billy Bob Thornton
22:26
says to Kurt Russell, he's like, like you sure are talking big for a man who's not healed
22:30
and he's like, I don't need to be healed, a rouse to lump like you.
22:32
And I was like, I don't know what any of that means.
22:34
- Yeah. - Did you like everyone's at twice to like put on the subtitles?
22:39
They were saying healed, like be well healed.
22:41
And I think that we would think of that as being like wealthy,
22:43
but I think in those days they meant armed.
22:46
- Weird. - Like well healed as like you have a gun.
22:48
He was like, yeah, yeah, damn that's cool.
22:50
- And then it didn't, dude, and then Kurt Russell said something like,
22:53
going and draw that smoke wagon and see what happens.
22:55
I was like, he's just throwing out all kind of sling. I never heard of for God.
22:58
I guess that means gun. But I like that this dude just threw in all the frickin'
23:02
slang and didn't explain it. And I was like, oh, I have to figure it out.
23:05
That makes me feel smart. - Yeah, and on top of that,
23:08
he had a lot of people talk, the guy who wrote it, had a lot of people talk in this movie.
23:11
There's some like 89 speaking roles. - 85 speaking roles.
23:14
- Dude, that's a lot. - Yeah, well dude, and when Doc's, you know,
23:17
whatever, Hungarian partner came inside on his lab,
23:20
he was like, oh, you're not wearing a bussel. I was like, he didn't say what a bussel was.
23:23
I just know that, but I'm sure about people don't.
23:25
I'm like, it's cooler. They just freaking threw out the jargon and you just have to figure it out.
23:29
Tell the people what a bustle is. That's the thing that's on the back of the dress that made the woman's booty look like
23:34
there's sticking out. Yeah, yeah, like a little shelf.
23:37
Yeah, exactly. So what's your first scene?
23:41
That's a great scene. My first scene also has Doc Holliday.
23:44
It's when Doc and Johnny Ringo first meet up and they're speaking Latin to each other.
23:48
Speaking Latin back and forth.
23:50
And he's all, and he's, Doc is all hammered like he always is.
23:54
and he was like, "Well, John A. Ringgo."
23:56
He was like, "Should I hate him?
23:59
I think I hate him." And he starts talking and Latin to him.
24:02
Yeah. And then Johnny Ringgo starts speaking and Latin back to him,
24:04
and then they're talking shit to each other and Latin.
24:08
Yeah. Always an educated man.
24:12
And yeah, like that. 'Cause and then Johnny Ringgo's like,
24:14
he's trying to intimidate Doc, so he pulls out his guns
24:17
and he starts touring him like a maniac. He's like touring him sideways and over his head.
24:20
And he's, and everyone in the whole bar's like,
24:22
Woo! And then afterwards he's like, he's like,
24:26
squint, iron, doc, who's like, never gotten out of his chair
24:29
and he's all sweaty and drunk. He starts taking his little cup that he drinks booze out of
24:32
and he starts spinning it around on his fingers. - Oh, his finger?
24:34
- Yeah. - And he spins it for a really long time,
24:36
like an awkwardly long time and he finishes
24:39
like a family guy long time.
24:42
And he's like spinning it and he doesn't switch hands
24:44
but he spins it all the way to the other side where the other hand is.
24:47
He's got a family guy long time. It's a perfect way to say that.
24:49
Like his, yes. (laughing)
24:52
- Yeah, so tell everybody what the Latin was,
24:54
'cause I, yeah. - Well, wait, real fast.
24:56
I wanna know, like, when you're spinning guns,
24:58
and everybody's like, woo! What's the modern day equivalent of doing that
25:02
in front of a bunch of people? Like, spinning a gun, like,
25:06
I don't know, revenue engine and a stoplight? - Ooh, yeah, that's a big one.
25:09
- I don't know. - Yeah.
25:12
- I'm sure people still spin guns. It's probably harder with like an assault rifle,
25:15
but I think people still probably spin 'em. - I can't even imagine everybody carrying guns now.
25:21
- Yeah, all right, so the first thing he says is in Vino Veritas, which is in wine there is truth.
25:26
- Yeah. - And then Johnny Ringo responds with, do what you do.
25:32
And then he replies with, let appellate the Jew believe,
25:35
not I, and I don't know why he said that.
25:38
And then he said, youth is the teacher of fools.
25:42
And then Doc Holiday responded with in Pase Resiquate,
25:46
which is, may he rest in peace? And I don't, at Resicat.
25:50
I don't know why they say that.
25:53
- So I read a blog post explaining the Latin,
25:56
and I think those translations you gave are pretty close
25:58
literally, but I think mainly what it was saying is
26:01
they're basically talking shit to each other. Like, you know, Doc says, you know,
26:06
and and and wine truth, and then Ringo says,
26:09
you know, shout your mouth before I kill you and Doc says,
26:13
somebody might kill me, but it's not gonna be you.
26:15
And then Ringo says, whatever. But they were basically shit talking in Latin.
26:19
It's lucky that that guy knows Latin so they could shit talk.
26:22
Otherwise, you just, like if you started talking smack
26:25
to me in Spanish, I would just smile and nod.
26:28
Locianto, I'm sorry, I got in love with you.
26:31
- Oh, Locianto, I come back. (laughing)
26:35
Dude, well it's weird because I go to look stuff up
26:39
about this movie and I'm like, man, there's a lot of information out there.
26:41
This movie only made $76 million. I'm like, these are all real people
26:44
and this stuff all really happens. So it's like, oh, well Johnny Ringo
26:48
went to public school in Missouri. So he probably would have known some Latin.
26:51
And Doc actually was an aristocrat from Georgia.
26:53
His dad was the mayor of Al Dosta, Georgia. And I was like, "Hell, shit, there's a lot of backstory."
26:57
These are real dudes. - Yeah, these are real dudes.
26:59
- This is actually, all of these people existed.
27:01
- Yeah. - So we actually know that they would have known.
27:03
And it's like, "Oh, well, Doc would have known a lot more Latin 'cause he was really well educated
27:07
and Gringo would have known just probably a little bit 'cause he was, you know, went to public school
27:11
in Missouri in the 1800s. - Yeah.
27:13
Do you think any of the kids that go to public school
27:17
Missouri right now can speak Latin. That definitely not.
27:20
Definitely. I don't know where Missouri ranks. I mean, probably better than Louisiana's 49th or 50th,
27:26
but, but we're 51. We're behind Puerto Rico and they just got electricity back from the storm.
27:32
So, uh, yeah, we're pretty bad. Where number 51 out of 50 states. What's your next scene?
27:40
All right. My second one was Doc Spinnan is Cup and against what for the, like, yeah, thing going
27:46
off. And then we already kind of talked about my third scene too, which is when Kurt Russell
27:50
and Billy Bob Thornton go back and forth. And he is slapping the shit out of Billy Bob
27:55
in the face. Dude, he's wailing on Billy Bob. And he is like right up in his face,
27:59
squinty-eyed, like you said, just going throw down, boy, which is just going to stay in there and bleed.
28:04
And then like some other stuff transpires and they go outside. And that's when he,
28:11
you know, the the the earth brothers see Doc holiday for the first time and he comes up and he shakes
28:16
his hand. Billy Bob Thornton comes walking up holding a gun trying to because because uh why at
28:22
earth or Kurt Russell took his gun and when after he was finished slapping him uh and he went home
28:28
and got another gun and came back and he was holding it and he frigging uh when Doc turns to him
28:35
and goes, "Oh, Johnny, I apologize.
28:37
I forgot you were there." I was like, "Geez, they're just dumping on this guy hard."
28:44
And then they say, "Yeah, you can leave."
28:47
And leave the gun. And he tries to hand it to him.
28:50
He says, "I said leave the gun. "Drop it."
28:52
And he makes him put it on the ground and he walks off.
28:55
And Billy Bob Thornton played that perfect, man.
28:58
He killed it. It was a little chubby Billy Bob. I like-- - Yeah, I like there's like
29:01
young chubby Billy Bob. Yeah, he was awesome, man.
29:03
and that's, I had some of the quotes from that,
29:06
I had way too many quotes for this, but yes. So you're gonna do some of these,
29:08
you're just gonna let Aaron, stand there and bleed. - Yeah.
29:11
- And then he tries to creep up on them in broad daylight.
29:13
Dude, the number of people shooting other people in broad daylight for no reason at all in this movie.
29:17
If that's what it really was like. - Well, I'm sure they had a reason.
29:20
But from my perspective, no reason at all.
29:22
- No reason. - I didn't put that on the list
29:25
of why it would suck to live in the old West, but it would be very high on the list.
29:28
People just shooting you for no reason at all. - What about when,
29:32
man, what the hell's his name? The curly bill.
29:36
He's just out there coming out the opium den,
29:38
just shooting random, like people were just walking across
29:41
the street, he's like shooting him at the feet.
29:43
I'm not even talking about killing people, he's just randomly shooting into buildings,
29:47
which we have decided are made of just straight wood
29:51
and catching him on fire.
29:53
So like dude, imagine being anywhere near the okay corral
29:57
when they start throwing down. I hate to tell you that,
29:59
but people still shoot, come out and shoot for no reason straight up into the air.
30:03
Like every fourth of July, New Year's, people celebrate by firing their weapons
30:07
straight up into the air. - Yeah, if it was only unaware of physics.
30:11
- If it was only straight up in the air where it would land somewhere near them,
30:14
that would be great, but it's not.
30:16
It's never straight up in the air. - Every New Year's day, you read about someone
30:20
who got killed by a bullet that fell out of the sky
30:22
from someone celebrating New Year's by shooting into the air.
30:24
So that's definitely still happening. - No, it definitely is.
30:27
And I remember the Mexican with Brad Pitt.
30:30
- Oh yeah. sort of shooting in the air and they just started falling and he was running in a circle
30:33
and didn't know where to go. Like that, I can't imagine that's what it's like.
30:36
That's horrible. It's horrible.
30:38
Oh man. I like that movie.
30:40
Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts. I think that's in the early 2000s.
30:42
We'll get there. We'll make it.
30:44
Maybe. Yeah.
30:46
That's a great one. I like seeing Billy Bup Thornton.
30:48
It was pretty early. I don't think he had done a whole lot at this point, but he was good.
30:51
Yeah. I like him.
30:53
I like him. What's your answer?
30:55
My next one is the shootout at the OK Carouse, a.k.a. the Sandlot.
30:58
out of the okay knipple. I can't not think that with David
31:03
Tell every time I see it. Every time. Oh, I thought about David
31:07
Tell later on in this movie when Doc, Doc holiday was talking
31:09
about his one true love. I was watching my cousin press
31:16
feed for a buck. So she said, yeah, dude, they go to the, I
31:22
mean, I guess this is like they built the town where they
31:25
shot it a couple miles from where tombstone actually is look
31:29
actually now. Right. Yeah. And they built a two look as close to
31:32
the modern the old tombstones they could. So this is what the
31:35
Carole would have looked like this is where it would have
31:37
located been located in the town. And they were all talking
31:40
about the behind the scene stuff like this is really what happened like they went to go. Virgil's the sheriff he's like,
31:45
they got guns. I'm gonna go take the guns away and why it's like,
31:47
don't do that. Who cares? It's a misdemeanor. They're drunk.
31:49
They're mad. Just let him in. He's like, well, they're breaking the law. Right. And then the other the other guy is
31:55
like don't worry, I already present.
31:57
Yeah. They're breaking the law. They're breaking the law.
32:00
(laughing)
32:02
The other sheriff, the politician sheriff,
32:04
is like don't worry about it, I already disarmed him and they go in there anyway.
32:07
Yeah. But dude, it was funny here in the actors
32:09
who played the Cowboys, I know it's the real name,
32:13
but it's confusing to me that the villains were called the Cowboys.
32:15
That's the actual name of a gang in the 1800s
32:19
after the Civil War. But to me, the whole movie they're like,
32:21
this is the end of the Cowboys. I'm like, I thought Cowboys were around for a while.
32:24
- Yeah. - In initial football right now. - Yeah, to be honest, I'm a saint's man,
32:29
so the Cowboys are the bad guys.
32:31
- Yeah, no, totally. - I know what you're saying.
32:33
Yeah, it was weird to hear Cowboys. - As a derogatory term.
32:37
- But even the like, this okay, okay, Carral shootout
32:40
has been so well chronicled, the okay, can it pull?
32:43
- I thought you were gonna say. (laughing)
32:46
- Like even the, like there's these,
32:49
these guys are on this side, these guys are on this side.
32:51
Every one of these people actually lived and was actually in this shootout.
32:54
and even to the point of like, we know who drew first
32:56
and we know who they shot at and we know where they hit them and how many times.
33:00
So like it really is like a kind of a historical reenactment.
33:03
It's like, oh, this guy shoots first. Thomas Hayden-Chaird, I forget his like character's name.
33:07
He shoots it while it draws and doesn't shoot at him, shoots at a different guy
33:11
and hits him and then-- - Yeah.
33:13
I don't know. - It was trying to like nitpicks.
33:17
Like this is like 90s action movie. Everyone's shooting way too many times
33:20
and everyone is infinite ammo. but I was actually, they were trying to be really thorough
33:24
about this person, this person and this person,
33:26
this person, and then this person runs away.
33:28
- I was reading that it was like, in real life,
33:31
it was like 30 seconds maybe.
33:34
But in the movie it lasted 90 seconds
33:36
'cause it took a little longer, but that was just like.
33:39
- Yes, Emily said, 28 seconds.
33:41
I don't know how they would have known that in 1971,
33:44
but that's what he said. So clearly, when the first person shot,
33:46
they just started going one Mississippi, too.
33:49
someone had one of the little pocket watches in the Chinese laundries,
33:52
hunkered down, looking at it, like Rosio Donald and League of their own,
33:56
to be a record. - Dude, I did read, like talking about the Cowboys.
34:02
In the 1830s, the Texas Rangers,
34:04
not the baseball team, wanted to get rid of the bandits,
34:09
rustlers and nair duels,
34:11
and push them further west, and they were called Cowboys,
34:14
and they used that as a derogatory term
34:17
for like rustlers and people like that.
34:19
and by 1870s, they were all the way in New Mexico
34:22
and Arizona, so that's why those guys were there. So that whole part was true too.
34:26
Dude, every time they said Cowboys, though,
34:28
it was messing with me. I don't know why.
34:31
I guess maybe Cowboys and other Westerns
34:33
are the good guys? - Well, I just think of Cowboys as like a generic term
34:37
for like a man named West who like rides a horse.
34:41
Like everyone's a Cowboy, but the biggest is just like a specific,
34:44
I wish they would have, I know they were trying to be accurate. I wish they would just change the name,
34:47
made up a fake gang name for them.
34:49
- All right, I'm ready. What's the, what's the fake gang name you came up with?
34:53
(laughing)
34:55
- Oh wait, hang on, let me see if my chat GPT plug
34:57
in is still working, I'm gonna ask. I know it's not, I gotta log in again.
35:01
(laughing)
35:03
It would've given me some great ones, I feel sure. - Oh, absolutely.
35:07
- Dude, what's your next scene? - I gave you all three because we both had the same one.
35:12
- Right, right. My third one is the, is again, Ringo and Doc.
35:16
It's the final shootout. - Oh man, yeah, it's good.
35:19
It's really good. I'm Y'all good, Barry.
35:22
- It's got some good dialogue
35:24
and it's also is a real thing that happened.
35:27
It's important, but they just were, I guess it's so weird to me just 'cause
35:31
I don't walk around with guns,
35:34
going like tapping them and staring at people.
35:36
- Yeah. - But they're like, they're like, in the woods, just the two of them
35:40
and they're just circling each other. Like, Doc is smoking a hand-rolled cigarette.
35:43
- And they're not that far either. No, no, they're like, they could bump elbows if they wanted to.
35:47
That's what I'm saying. If they drew and put their arms straight,
35:50
they would shoot right past each other's head. That's what was going on.
35:52
Yeah, well, because I think a shootout is being like quick in the dead
35:55
where it's like, you stand 20 paces away and it's like draw.
35:58
But they were like, their knees were almost touching
36:00
and they're just circling each other in the woods
36:03
and they're just talking shit. I wonder if that's more accurate
36:07
than the 20 paces, Taren and Dra.
36:09
Dude, I don't know, but the whole time I'm watching,
36:12
I'm just thinking this is so, I can't imagine,
36:14
'Cause neither of them were like, like I kind of understand it.
36:17
It's like, oh man, those guys were really mad at each other
36:19
in the bar and one of them hit the other and one of the beer bottle.
36:22
I'm not doing that, but I, that was in the heat of the moment.
36:25
But these guys are not mad at all. They're just hanging out during the day,
36:29
getting ready to shoot each other. And that's very strange to me.
36:31
- You know why they're mad? Pooping outside.
36:35
No AC. - Right in the workplace. - It's where my stashes.
36:39
- The horses. (laughing)
36:43
- Come in. Yeah, no, that's a good scene.
36:45
I like that. I like how they show only his silhouette
36:50
when he first walks up and you're like, oh man, Kurt Russell's about to lay waste to this guy
36:56
and it turns out it's not Kurt Russell. I really like that.
36:58
And that really put it into the,
37:01
not the Cowboys, the regulators.
37:04
No way, that's another movie. - So let's see, Chad G.P.T. says,
37:07
the frontier outlaws, trailblazing Wranglers,
37:10
Lone Star Ropers, they really love a iteration.
37:13
I keep telling them to cool it on the alliteration.
37:15
What else did I got that's good? Sunset riders, that's pretty good.
37:18
Ooh, that's a nice one. Yeah, I like that one.
37:20
The Coyote Canyon Cruuners, that's a terrible one.
37:23
I think I said band, that was, I think they think they're actually a band.
37:27
Like a band in place, you know. What was the crew nurse?
37:30
What was it? The Coyote Canyon Cruuners.
37:32
Spur and saddle.
37:35
Oh man, the Buccaroo Baladeers.
37:39
There you go, it heard you say Buccaroo earlier,
37:41
and now it's using its algorithm. I like regulators.
37:45
Can we just steal that from the other regulators? - Yeah, yes.
37:48
- Yes, and the regulators were,
37:50
Ringo was the head of the regulators. Definitely the other guy died.
37:53
Wait, it's Ringo? Oh, well then it's the Beatles.
37:56
- Yeah, that's seen, I really like that scene.
38:00
There's some good dialogue, but also it's just so bizarre to me to just watch those guys.
38:03
Just like two of, I mean, again, true story.
38:06
Two of the greatest gunfighters alive in the country
38:08
at this point in time are just in the woods, just circling each other, elbows touching
38:12
and then they just start shooting in one of them dies.
38:14
- Yeah, 'cause it's quick, it's fat.
38:16
Once they finally draw, it was wicked quick.
38:19
- Yeah, dude, and they're both like, they're like tap and they have the same gun, by the way.
38:23
They both have like nickel-plated colts with like an ivory handle.
38:26
That's like a historically accurate.
38:29
But they're like tap in the gun, like trying to juke the other person to draw on first,
38:33
like tap in it, like a headfaken. - It seems like you would wanna draw first, no?
38:37
- You would think. I would be definitely going like holy shit,
38:41
look behind you and then drawn if that's what we were gonna do.
38:44
Or at least for the contrary. - I would still be cleaning myself in the river,
38:48
but after I was done with that,
38:50
I think I would use some sort of rifle to try to shoot him,
38:52
or if it's a movie shoot him with a shotgun
38:55
from 50 yards away. - Well dude, no, I think we already know what you would do
38:59
'cause Kurt Russell lays it out for us. You get your friend to go and shoot the guy for you.
39:02
(laughing) He's like, you meet me here at Coyote Canyon,
39:05
at the mouth at 7 p.m. I'll be there, you tell 'em I'll be there.
39:09
And it's like, hey, Doc, would you go and do that for me?
39:11
(laughing) Since you're already dying a TB,
39:14
could you cough on 'em a couple times in case it kills you?
39:17
- When he opens his mouth, you cough inside of it.
39:20
And then that will ruin his job
39:23
in the Coyote Canyon crooners. (laughing)
39:27
- Yeah, the pistol arrows, the runnygates, whatever.
39:30
- These sounds like 60s motel dance.
39:33
- Two wild boars. (laughing) - All right, what's your first quote?
39:37
- So there's a part where Doc Holiday is playing the piano
39:41
with his woman and he's playing some overture.
39:46
Or what was it, a nocturn that he was playing.
39:51
And then somebody walks up,
39:54
one of the guys, Billy Clinton, who is, what's his name?
39:58
Lowell, Frickin, Thomas Hayden Church.
40:01
He comes up and starts talking to him about it.
40:04
And afterwards, skipping ahead is the quote that I have where he says,
40:09
"Why it's the drug piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothing."
40:13
In fact, you probably see in double and he draws a knife out and that's when
40:17
Doc Holliday pulls out a second gun and he's like, "I have two guns, one for each of you."
40:22
That was pretty, free, good smooth when he did that.
40:25
Yeah, I have a whole subsection of Doc Holliday quotes and that's one of them.
40:30
And he's like, you probably see in double and he pulls two guns, he got two guns, one for each of you.
40:33
But right before that, when he's playing the piano,
40:36
and they're talking to someone's talking to him about playing the piano, and he's like, it's a nocturn.
40:40
He's like, what is that? It's like John Philip Susie.
40:42
He said, no, you know, Frederick f***ing Chopin.
40:45
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I just remember Frederick and Chopin.
40:48
- I like, dude, you're right.
40:52
Val Kilmer freaking kills it.
40:54
- He talked about, I found a clip on YouTube
40:57
and him talking to Tom Green on the Tom Green show, remember that?
41:00
- Oh man. - And he was talking about the dialect coach
41:03
that he's like, I hired a dialect coach.
41:05
And I asked, I think he's the best dialect coach
41:08
in the world. He says the guy's name, but I forgot it.
41:10
He's like, I'm gonna ask him, like, "Hey, man, I need to sound like a Southern aristocrat
41:14
after the Civil War doc holiday."
41:16
But all of those guys died. There's no historical record.
41:19
It's basically a dead dialect. - Right.
41:22
- And a dialect coach is like, no, no, I got the guy for you.
41:25
I have a tape of him talking, I'll send it to you.
41:27
And so he just drops into the doc holiday voice.
41:32
He's like, "Wayl." He's like, "Thank you so much for talking with me today."
41:39
He's like, "He talked so slow.
41:42
I could have never made it through the movie if I'd talked that slow,
41:44
but all of the mannerisms and inflections and stuff like that
41:48
was totally shit, it's brilliant." - Yeah, he, no, for reals, he really does a great job.
41:53
- And dude, like after the first time he was gonna shoot
41:56
Johnny Ringo in the street, he came out to like defend Wyatt again.
42:00
And then as soon as Johnny Ringo turns around walks away, he turns around to the barber, he was like on the front porch, getting a shave,
42:07
and he just like sits down in the barber's chair and he goes, "Proceed."
42:11
Yeah, "Proceed."
42:14
Like everything was like freaking molasses.
42:16
And you know, like we're from the south, so we hear people talk.
42:20
When I would travel and go places, people would be like, "Once raw with you."
42:24
I was like, "Did I talk like that?"
42:27
Like I feel like I don't have an accent.
42:29
Yeah. But apparently when you go someplace else, they're like,
42:32
why are you talking so slow?
42:35
They're like looking at me funny. - Dude, we definitely do not talk slow,
42:39
but he was talking slow and not nearly as slow as the guy
42:41
he was taking the accent from some project,
42:45
Civil War, Aristobarat.
42:47
- Yeah.
42:49
- My first doc Hollywood quote is right when they get
42:53
the tombstone and they share off, who's like a politician you, he's got like a cane,
42:56
he's got a bowler hat on. - Fuller hat, three pieces of vest.
43:00
- Yeah, he's like, beside Sheriff, I'm also the tax collector,
43:03
Captain of the Fire Brigade, and President of the non-partisan anti-Chinese league.
43:07
(laughing) - Oh man, that guy was a jerk.
43:11
- He was a huge jerk, and I rewound it again to go,
43:13
"What did he say, non-partisan? What is like, oh, anti-Chinese league?"
43:17
- Yeah man, you don't want those Chinaman coming in and building railroads and then staying around.
43:21
- Yeah, building railroads and then staying around to open a laundromat, that's, dude, it literally,
43:25
that's the whole movie they're talking about. It's like, is there Chinese laundering here?
43:28
I looked all over and I couldn't find one. That's where I get my opium from.
43:31
- That's a good place. That's a good, if you're gonna do drugs,
43:34
you might as well aim for the top. (laughs)
43:37
- And then Kurt Russell's like, telling his wife who's addicted to the opium,
43:41
he's like, is that, does you get a new bottle of opium?
43:43
Is that more opium? - Yeah. - Don't worry about it.
43:46
- Yeah, they didn't call it opium. They call it light. - No, no, they never called it opium.
43:49
But I was pretty sure that's what it was. - It is, yeah, it's a tincture of opium,
43:52
which is still around, dude. It's like someplace.
43:55
- You just go to a Chinese laundry. - No Chinese laundry and say, "I need my tincture of opium."
43:59
I need a tincture of opium. - Make sure you shave a mustache first.
44:04
- The good thing is it's only used
44:07
for like really bad cases of diarrhea.
44:11
- Dude. - Because opium stops you up really bad.
44:13
- Yeah. - So like all those people that are in the opium,
44:16
then they don't have to worry about pooping outdoors
44:18
because they have 16 pounds of undigested red meat
44:22
floating in their bowels. - That's the most compelling case I've ever heard
44:25
for opium in the rest. I mean, it ought to be shit in the sand
44:28
if I just drink this opium tincture, count me in.
44:32
She was like those sticking her finger in the bottle
44:34
and like rubbing it on her teeth, like she was doing coke.
44:37
The funny thing is there's absolutely no reason why I should have known that opium did that,
44:41
but as soon as you started that sentence, I knew that that's what you were gonna say.
44:44
And I don't know why I knew that. - Yeah, you know that because you've taken pain medicine
44:47
before and then not had to poop, right?
44:50
- Not really, man. I haven't taken anything stronger than an ibuprofen
44:53
in like 15 years. No, I'm saying like I got a tooth pulled,
44:57
like my wisdom teeth pulled, they gave me like
45:00
lore tab or vikin, that's an opium derivative.
45:03
So like that all does the same thing. - They offer that to me anytime,
45:06
like any time you get a hang now, the doctors like, would you like a million opioids?
45:10
And I'm like, no dude, I'm good. I got ibuprofen at home, I'm not taking this shit.
45:13
- Yeah, yeah, but when I got my wisdom teeth out, I was 16 and I'm glad they gave it to me because it was great.
45:18
- Yeah, I got my, well, again,
45:20
I said I haven't taken it in 15 or 20 years
45:23
when I got my wisdom teeth out. that was a lot longer than that.
45:25
- Yeah, I got a tusk.
45:28
(laughing)
45:30
- And nine wisdom teeth. They're coming through my chest. - No, no, I was happy to wrap.
45:33
- I was eating corn on the cob that same afternoon.
45:36
What's your next quote? - My next quote is the one that everybody always says
45:41
from this, I'm Yohaka Berry. - Yeah.
45:44
- I really liked it. 'Cause he said it a couple times.
45:46
- He did, and he said it twice. I don't know what it means, but I've always liked it.
45:49
- Do you wanna know what I found out about it?
45:51
- Oh yeah, definitely. All right, so there are a lot of people that think
45:55
he might have said, I'm your Huckleberry,
45:57
'cause in the South, the Huckle was a casket handle.
46:00
And then they said, well, maybe Val Kilmer said it wrong,
46:04
and it just sounded like Huckleberry, and then they kept it and then went forward again.
46:09
But Val Kilmer has said on numerous occasions
46:12
that no, it said Huckleberry in the script.
46:15
So he maintains that he said it correctly.
46:18
But another Southern usage of the slang Huckleberry
46:22
was like the right person for the job.
46:24
Yeah, so that's probably what it meant.
46:27
Yeah, that sounds a lot more plausible to me. I would have, you definitely didn't say
46:30
Huckle Bearer, he said Huckle Bearer. Correct.
46:32
Huckle Bearer, rural juror, the rural juror.
46:37
The rural juror.
46:39
Yeah, I'm your Huckle Bearer is my thing.
46:41
That's a great one. I have that on my Doc Holiday list of quotes.
46:45
(laughing) Do you have to read regular quotes and like four Doc,
46:48
let me just get the Doc Holiday quotes out of the way. - This sheriff was saying like,
46:53
he's like, "Tombstones on the rise, we're gonna be as big as Denver or San Francisco."
46:58
This time next year and write that point in time, a cowboy just shoots another cowboy in the street
47:02
and Doc holiday stand right there
47:04
and he goes, "Very cosmopolitan."
47:07
- Yeah, he's freaking so snarky, I like it.
47:10
- God, how come we're so good?
47:12
- Dude, and his makeup was fantastic in this.
47:16
- It was incredible, man, 'cause there'd be some scenes, he was always like,
47:19
kind of sickly and salo, but there's somewhere he was like sweating profusely.
47:23
Yeah. But even like when they showed up close-ups of his eyes, like the makeup look really
47:28
good because it looked like his eyes were super red.
47:30
Like he was always like pale with red eyes.
47:33
Yep. It looked good.
47:35
Yeah, so I have that very cosmopolitan Frederick f***ing Chopin.
47:38
I have two guns, one for each of you, and I'm your Huckleberry.
47:40
I have those four Doc Holley clothes. Those are all great.
47:43
Those are great. My other not.
47:46
Doc quote. Yeah.
47:48
We already said, you're gonna do something or just stay in there and bleed.
47:51
- Yeah, that's a good one. - You have another one?
47:53
- Yeah, do. There was, and this is only the history teacher in me.
47:57
When they were playing pool,
47:59
billiards, billiards.
48:03
They, he says, man, we could leave here
48:05
or we can stay here and make more money than crisis.
48:09
And I actually, like he's a Greek king that we talk about,
48:14
he is probably, he's like one of the most wealthy,
48:17
Well the easiest people that's ever lived.
48:20
- Yeah. - Not Mansa Musa Wellsy, but pretty close.
48:24
He was worth like $70 billion at one point.
48:27
- Not that. - So when he said that,
48:30
- He said that each East India trading company rich.
48:32
- Right, right. - Individually rich. - Individually super rich.
48:35
And there's always a lot of people that say he was
48:38
credited with minting the first gold coin,
48:40
and we talk about that in my class. So as soon as he said that, I was like,
48:43
"Oh snap, now I know who that is."
48:45
Now that I teach that, that's pretty weird. I think that's the sort of thing that,
48:48
'cause my grandparents would say stuff like,
48:50
he's older than Methuselah, and I think that generation,
48:53
probably around the great depression,
48:55
that would have been this saying, Richard and Cretius older than Methuselah,
48:58
and then that stuff kind of started to,
49:00
'cause everybody had the same classical education,
49:03
up till the modern education was built in the 1900s,
49:07
which is way worse. - Now people say more money than who?
49:11
- I don't know. Bill Gates? - Yeah, more money than Zuckerberg.
49:15
Zuckerberg, yeah, it's probably it.
49:17
Sixth century BCE, Asia Minor, super rich guy.
49:21
That's why I picked that quote, I liked it. I got excited 'cause I knew who that was.
49:25
- Yeah, dude, and that's another one where it's like,
49:27
that's not a reference that a lot of people are gonna get, but they just throw it in the movie
49:30
and they don't explain it and you just either know it or you don't.
49:32
- Right, and dude, I know it now, but I didn't know it the first time.
49:35
Well, when I watched that the first. - No, no, I definitely didn't know it.
49:38
- 20 times. - 1995 or '96 when I saw this the first time.
49:41
- But I know it now. - Yeah, yeah, good stuff.
49:44
I got a bonus quote, "Wyderp is,
49:47
he's on an impromptu horse date with what's her name?
49:50
They're galping around." - Yeah. - And she makes him laugh and he laughs.
49:56
She's like, "Oh, you laugh, that's,
49:58
that when's the last time you laugh?" And he's like, "Well, I don't laugh all day long
50:01
like an idiot." (laughing)
50:05
And I just wanna mention, that's confirmed that "Wyderp" would think there were idiots.
50:09
(laughing)
50:12
- It is confirmed. - Because we definitely laugh all day long
50:16
when we're doing dumb shit like this. - And he would be Superman at my mustache.
50:22
- Superman. Let me tell you, the whole thing with them,
50:26
like I don't, all of the friggin' earth brothers
50:30
were pretty unfaithful. And I know they all married hookers,
50:34
but like, or prostitutes. - Yeah.
50:37
- But I don't understand like, - In common law, married.
50:40
- Right. I'm saying like, I don't understand like,
50:43
what happened to the opium wife? I mean, I know what happened 'cause they say she died,
50:47
but like, I'm saying like, did he just let her leave
50:51
with Sam Elliott and his wife?
50:53
Sam Elliott gets shot and cut off his arm.
50:57
And so they all leave tombstone and then the bill packs
51:00
then the younger brother gets shot in the back and killed.
51:03
That was also weird to me because he died like 20 seconds
51:06
after he was alive and the bullet wasn't even that deep into his back.
51:09
They couldn't get it out, it was too deep. I know, and then he immediately died,
51:12
which I didn't think that was how that worked. Again, like if I got an ingrown toenail,
51:16
I would die if it was the ancient West. But like, the bullet was like, it was in his lower back.
51:20
It didn't hit his kidney or his lung or his heart.
51:23
He wasn't bleeding out. It was just like, I can't get the bullet.
51:25
And then he was like, well, I just buy why it.
51:28
And then he died. (laughing) - Let me tell you, this is in the worst.
51:32
When he dies, I think they told him
51:34
to stare at something on the ceiling,
51:36
to keep his eyes fixed. 'Cause when you die, your eyes stop moving.
51:40
But then Kurt Russell lays him down in his head turns
51:44
and his eyes stay fixed on the thing that's on the ceiling.
51:47
So his eyes stay in the same spot and I was like, that's not right.
51:50
But it's fine. Yeah.
51:53
I like your Pakistan. His younger brother, I love Bill Paxton.
51:55
His younger brother dies. His older brother gets his arm cut off.
51:58
And he's like, all right, we're out of here. Tombstone sucks, let's leave.
52:00
And then I seem like they, everyone got on the train.
52:02
Everyone who was still alive is younger brother's widow,
52:05
his opium common law wife, and then Virgil and his wife.
52:09
And I guess he was like, see it never. And then he went back and with Doc Holiday went to fight the Cowboys.
52:14
Yeah, he went to fight the rancheros or whatever those guys name were.
52:17
- The V. - Coyote, Coyote, Croners.
52:20
- Croners. He went to go have a West Side story dance off with him.
52:25
But yeah, I mean, I don't know.
52:28
I guess his opium common law wife that got common law divorced.
52:32
I don't know, no one ever said.
52:34
- It's weird to me. - It's weird to me too, but it's one of the things I liked.
52:37
And it's one of the things that Kurt Russell said that he liked, he's like, there've been 50 movies about Wider,
52:41
but I liked that this one showed him as a real person,
52:43
which is like, he's got flaws. - Right.
52:46
- You know who's obviously was like, wasn't above cheated in cards,
52:49
wasn't above cheating on his wife, like had a really strong sense of honor.
52:52
- So much honor that he cheated on his wife
52:56
and it cards. - And cheated in cards. - BS.
52:59
Yeah, I just didn't, like it was weird.
53:03
And then he sees the girl at the end and he was like, I don't have any money
53:06
or dignity, but I will love you forever.
53:09
I'm like, what are you basing this level on? You don't even know, or are you basing in her looks on her?
53:13
- Well, they went on that one horseback ride, and she made a laugh.
53:16
And he's like, I don't laugh a lot about it. I'm not so many yet.
53:18
(laughing)
53:21
- Oh man, that was just weird to me.
53:23
I didn't, whatever. - Yeah. - I don't know.
53:25
- Well, it was weird, but then the aftermath is that like him and that lady stayed married
53:29
for like 50 years, 'cause he didn't die until 1929.
53:32
- Yeah, that's weird to me too, that I could see videos of him.
53:35
- Yeah, super weird. Well, that's the thing that's kind of,
53:38
I mean, I know maybe that's like American.
53:40
This building has been restored to how it was nearly 50 years ago.
53:43
- Yeah, it's ago. - No, surely not.
53:45
No one was alive. (laughing)
53:48
When you're doing an old West movie that you can have the guy's grandson consult on it
53:53
and you can see videos of him, or have recordings of him talking about what it was really like.
53:58
- Yeah, why the third was--
54:00
- Why the third movie? - In the movie. - Yeah, that's cool.
54:04
- Yeah, that's the end of my quotes. Let's do characters.
54:07
That's where an hour into this. - We already know who the best character is.
54:10
Just say it. - Yeah, it's Val-Kamer. - It's Val-Kamer.
54:12
- Hands down, bar none. - Yeah, yeah, he was really good.
54:15
His little tiny silver cup. I kinda wanna get one of those
54:18
for like a party or something, just walk around the house with it.
54:21
I think that would be cool. - Get one and use it like for mouthwash.
54:24
- I have one that's a little bit bigger than that
54:29
that's got dukes of hazard on it. I think I might use that.
54:31
My mom found it in my closet.
54:34
You could spin it around and stuff when you guys have people around on my finger.
54:37
You finish your scotch. You spin it around on your fingers.
54:39
Yeah, I don't know what to say about Val Comer. I haven't already said I love Val Comer.
54:42
He's incredible in this movie. This is my favorite performance of his ever except for Kiscus bang bang for his gay
54:48
Perry. Me? No, no, I'm neat deep.
54:50
I just I just like the name. Who taught you English?
54:54
Kill yourself. I was talking about Kiscus bang bang with somebody a couple of days ago.
54:59
God, it movies good. Yeah. There's so many people that don't realize what movie that is and they make it
55:04
sound like it's gonna be Red shoe diaries.
55:06
- They do, it's not a great title.
55:08
But man, he's just got that, like he's got leading man,
55:12
charisma, but he also has the ability, kind of like,
55:14
Christian Bale to disappear into a character.
55:17
- Yeah. - Like Kurt Russell as much as he can carry a movie,
55:20
he cannot do that. - Yeah, you know it's Kurt Russell.
55:23
- You know it's Kurt Russell. Even when he's like this movie, he's good.
55:25
He's on my list for this movie, but it's Kurt Russell
55:28
as a writer. - Yeah, that's right. - And like, there's no Val Kilmer at all in this character.
55:32
It's just frickin' doc. - Right, and you can tell the roles
55:36
that we do that, that do that, because we say Doc Holliday and we say Kurt Russell.
55:41
I haven't even really said wider up that much.
55:44
- No, it keeps saying Kurt Russell. - Well, and Sam Elliott said,
55:46
'cause he's like all the, whatever, Bucka Roozer, like living in their canvas tents,
55:51
like all the extras are living on set in a tent the whole time.
55:55
Everybody's wearing their period clothing. Like it's not in a studio back lot,
56:00
it's not in L.A., it's in frickin' actual tombstone.
56:03
And he's like, you see Val Kilmer walk up in the morning
56:07
wearing like a Bermuda shirt and like flip flops
56:10
and a straw hat and they would walk out
56:12
wearing the clothes like with the makeup,
56:15
like smoking the cigarette and you're like, bam, like doc holiday.
56:18
- Yeah, it's him. - 'Cause they were saying like it's so easy
56:20
to get into character when you go get dressed
56:22
in all of that period correct clothing and you have a giant handlebar mustache
56:25
and like shit, I don't even need to read the script I already know who I am.
56:28
- Yeah, I am this person, right? - Yeah, that's awesome.
56:32
- Yeah, that's awesome. - That's great. - You got nothing else about Val Kilmer?
56:35
- No, just that he should have sneezed no more people
56:37
if he wanted to spread that around. - Yeah.
56:39
- Why it hurt was my second person, Kurt Russell.
56:42
- Yeah, I did. - I thought he had a great mustache.
56:45
- Great mustache. - Was his real? - Yeah. - I think his was real.
56:47
- Yeah. - Was Val Kilmer's real? I think his might have been real too.
56:50
- I don't know. - I was trying to figure it out, but if they weren't real, they were very good.
56:53
- Yeah, it's not like great value
56:56
in acknowledging over on Rookie of the Year,
56:59
where it was just straight, walrus. You're the one who picks out all the hair pieces
57:04
in the fake mustache or so. - And eyebrows, don't forget eyebrows.
57:07
- And eyebrows, yeah. - Hook. - Hook.
57:09
- Well remembered. - Joe Pesci. (laughs)
57:14
Yeah, so White Earps for my second, who's your third? - Yeah, I was gonna say,
57:17
he did a really good job of White Earps.
57:20
He was squinty a lot of the time, but he was also not squinty sometimes.
57:23
- Yeah, dude, his eyes are piercingly blue.
57:26
I don't know if it was because he was tan from being out in the Arizona sun, but.
57:29
- Right. - They were piercing. - Dude, I like Kurt Russell.
57:32
- Yeah, he's good. - Captain Ron Non-Wastanding.
57:34
(laughing) He's a good actor and he's in some good movies.
57:37
- Whatever you go. Let's, let's, - And like he was saying it was important
57:41
to him to portray White-Up, like real White-Up,
57:44
and like, well, White-Up, the third is in the movie so we could ask him about it.
57:47
Like, he can hear audio recordings. He's like, I read a lot.
57:49
I watched a lot of movies. I talked to his grandson.
57:51
He's like, I wanted to do a good job.
57:54
- That's pretty awesome. - I want to make it support for you. - I'm a great person.
57:56
- Dude, I think so too. One of the things is really cool for me.
57:59
- Yeah, people should do more of that.
58:01
That's awesome. - And my third was Michael Bean, Johnny Ringo.
58:06
- Johnny Ringo was good. I was on the fence.
58:08
I didn't know to go Johnny Ringo or Curly Bill brochures.
58:11
I'm a Curly Bill because I don't know what I've seen.
58:15
- I'm glad 'cause there's so many good actors in this movie.
58:19
I'm glad we didn't have the same three 'cause the first two were pretty easy for me.
58:22
But the third spot, I was like, I could put six people here because there was a bunch of people doing really good stuff.
58:27
wall to wall people it was did it really was good but michael being a
58:30
thought was a really good um like he was kyle reese from the original term in
58:34
movie that's what i mean i know him from but two of my favorite scenes were him
58:37
and val kielmer he's great and he talked for the behind the scenes feature
58:41
out about how everybody in the movie refers to johnny ringo as like a scary
58:45
stone cold killer yeah and he's like since everyone else is saying that i don't
58:49
need to like play him that way because they've already been told he's like so
58:53
i can just kind of play him as a regular person like
58:55
and try to find the nuance and then like--
58:58
- Nice. - Dude, that's cool.
59:00
- That's, I love stuff like that. Like that's so smart.
59:02
It's like they already, like if they don't know, then I have to bring them that.
59:06
But if they know, I can just be a regular guy
59:08
and try to bring some depth to it. - Yeah, you don't have to keep saying it.
59:11
Yeah, dude, that's genius. - Yeah. - I like that.
59:13
I like that. - So you got it clearly.
59:16
- Yeah, I went, I was on the fence. I wanted to do it, but the guy who plays
59:21
Curly Bill Brushes, his name is Powers Booth,
59:24
which is also a great name. Dude, something about him was free.
59:29
I don't know what else I've seen him in. I went through his whole thing.
59:34
I remember some of the characters he played on
59:37
different things like he's the vice president
59:39
for part of it on 24 and I totally remember that.
59:43
But dude, I don't remember what else I've seen him in
59:45
but he looks so. - I definitely remember him from Red Dawn.
59:51
- Red Dawn, snap. I don't think I went that far back.
59:54
That's awesome. - Yeah. - Who was he?
59:56
I remember that now. Yeah.
59:58
- Yeah, Lieutenant Colonel Andrew Tanner from Red Dawn.
1:00:01
- Andy, yeah. - Oh, dude, nice.
1:00:04
- Good call. I should have gone back further.
1:00:06
I just did something about him was like pulling me in.
1:00:10
I liked him. His character was kind of a bad person,
1:00:14
but I liked him the way he played it.
1:00:17
- Yeah, well, it was cool listening to the behind
1:00:20
this, all the actors talk about one of the nice things
1:00:22
about this kind of like unforgiven,
1:00:25
which I didn't like nearly as much as this, but there was a lot more nuance in the movie.
1:00:28
Like there weren't just good guys and bad guys, like Western good guys or even Hollywood good guys.
1:00:32
It's like the good guys are kind of shitty, and the bad guys actually have a reasonable justification
1:00:37
for the way that they acted. Like it's cool when you do that.
1:00:39
- Yeah, it's not just black hats, white hats.
1:00:42
- Yeah, they did kind of do the black hat, white hat thing,
1:00:45
where it's like if you're a good guy, you're a clean shaven except for the mustache,
1:00:48
and if you're not a good guy, you had some stubble with the mustache.
1:00:51
- And beard, yeah. I'm with you.
1:00:53
That's cool. That's my three.
1:00:57
Yeah, my three as well.
1:00:59
The writer, director, bonus stuff.
1:01:01
Kevin Jarry is the writer. This script is everybody was, everybody said.
1:01:06
The script was amazing. It was brilliant.
1:01:08
The reason we were able to get such a good ensemble together is because everybody had awesome stuff to say and do.
1:01:13
Like even the ninth lead had like a legitimate character arc
1:01:17
and had cool stuff to do. Yeah, that's why it was cool.
1:01:20
- What I didn't realize is,
1:01:23
I was reading that like, he wanted it to be as close
1:01:26
to real as it could be. - Right.
1:01:28
- But that made him fall behind schedule, and this dude ended up getting fired
1:01:32
before he could make all of the changes he wanted.
1:01:34
- He was the initial director, and he had not directed before,
1:01:37
and then like a couple, I think maybe a month or so into it,
1:01:40
they kinda realized like, hey, we, you're not gonna,
1:01:43
you're way behind schedule, you don't know what you're doing.
1:01:46
And suddenly they brought in George Cosmodos,
1:01:48
who directed like, first blood part two, and co-bron stuff like that.
1:01:51
It was a good action director. But Val Kilmer said, he said that like,
1:01:56
he's like, "Curt Russell's pretty even keeled."
1:01:59
He's like, "And from the first shot on the first day,
1:02:02
he kinda looked at me and was like, and we were like, yeah, we might be in trouble."
1:02:07
'Cause it was clear, they loved the guy,
1:02:09
'cause the script was genius, but he was over his head.
1:02:12
Yeah, yeah, he did. Val Kilmer also said that normally
1:02:14
when you get a replacement director in the middle of production,
1:02:16
production's super expensive. Like the new director comes in like three days later,
1:02:20
but they had like almost three weeks of downtime between directors and they didn't get the extra three weeks back at the end
1:02:25
They just had to compress stuff. That sucks. Yeah, dude. I saw that the only part that they kept that was directed by Jerry was
1:02:33
Charleston Heston. Yeah, the Charleston stuff. Yeah, everything else they kind of either redid or took
1:02:39
Dude that guy Jerry. There were wrote some things that I like dude. Yeah, he wrote glory
1:02:44
Yeah, like he got the seals
1:02:47
Maybe he did he did this story credit for Rambo first blood,
1:02:50
part two. He also wrote the mummy like the alamo.
1:02:53
Like he was just he was a huge history and like military history nerd.
1:02:57
And so all of his credits are in that vein.
1:03:00
But yeah, it's so good. We probably aren't going to do judgment night,
1:03:05
but I used to like that maybe. I kind of like that.
1:03:08
I think it depends on what else has happened in that year. I'd be totally down for that.
1:03:10
That's this year. Oh, then we're not doing it.
1:03:13
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're not going to do it. Yeah, we're but I got this year.
1:03:16
All the other stuff I have is we already talked about the freaking cast the ensemble.
1:03:20
I mean, you know, I didn't name a single woman there were all the wise and like Joanna
1:03:26
Pacula who plays the wider other love interest.
1:03:29
Like they were fine. They just don't feature heavily in this movie. So like I was trying to
1:03:33
get him in there, but they just didn't have a lot of scenes. You got any other best? I don't.
1:03:37
Let's let's do worse. The only worst that I had is again, it's a true story, but I had to
1:03:41
capture that Doc's deathbed confession to Wyatt that the only time he was ever truly in
1:03:47
love was with his teenage cousin. Yeah.
1:03:49
And then she had so much guilt over that she went and joined a convent.
1:03:52
I was like, I probably should write that down under worst cousin.
1:03:54
Yeah. Underage cousin.
1:03:56
Seems like it's sort of thing we got to work as worst.
1:03:59
Yes. Yes, that is probably not the good thing.
1:04:03
Oh, dude, David Taylor.
1:04:06
Skanks for the memories. Yeah, I put all the stuff we kind of talked about, Bill Paxton's eyes when he died.
1:04:11
how unfaithful all the brothers were.
1:04:14
I wanted to talk about worse effects.
1:04:17
There's a lot of lightning that looks really bad.
1:04:19
- Yeah. - The rain looked really good.
1:04:21
The other thing was really bad.
1:04:23
The lightning. Old tech, there was a guy counting money
1:04:26
and he was using an abacus. (laughing)
1:04:28
He was like writing it down. He was like moving the abacus with his pen.
1:04:32
So he was going like really fast, it was cool.
1:04:34
- That might be the oldest tech we've ever captured on this podcast.
1:04:38
We can abacus just like 5,000 years old.
1:04:40
- Yeah, man. That's pretty much all I got.
1:04:42
- Political incorrectness, everything you would expect,
1:04:44
everyone was very racist against Chinese people in the Old West.
1:04:47
- Yeah, man. - And they definitely were in this movie. They didn't, it wasn't like a big part of it.
1:04:50
It's just like, oh, I'm president of the anti, the nonpartisan anti-Chinese league.
1:04:55
(laughing) - Yes.
1:04:57
- The nonpartisan, 'cause you don't wanna split people
1:04:59
and get to the men after your wig. - Yeah, it doesn't matter if you're a wig
1:05:01
'cause they weren't even like Democrats and Republicans were there in the 1870s.
1:05:05
- Yes, there were, but it was different.
1:05:07
- Yeah, yeah, 'cause remember, it was like Lincoln, most of the Republican.
1:05:10
Lincoln was reprobbing, yeah. - Five questions, is it okay for kids?
1:05:14
I'm gonna go nah. - Yeah, to be honest though, like we talked about earlier,
1:05:18
I think it's 11 or 12 is probably good.
1:05:20
I think even before PG-13, I think if it was PG-13,
1:05:25
they could have gotten there easier. - Yeah, well to me it didn't seem like it was even all
1:05:29
that bloody, like as gory as far as that goes.
1:05:33
There's plenty of R-rated movies that are really gory,
1:05:35
but this was like, there wasn't that much swearing,
1:05:38
there's no sexual content and it wasn't super bloody.
1:05:41
Yeah, you're right. They could have gotten the PG-13 here. I think I don't know why they didn't.
1:05:45
So yeah, was the movie get made if it were pitched now?
1:05:48
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, dude, Yellowstone.
1:05:51
And I saw the Western with a phenomenal script.
1:05:53
Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, they could.
1:05:55
Dude, Yellowstone spun off like a bunch of different shows.
1:05:57
Yeah, that's what so I was talking about this today
1:06:00
and I was like, hey guys, so it would have get made today.
1:06:03
Like there's Yellowstone and they were both like everybody
1:06:06
was like, well yeah, like Harper was saying, like, yeah, Yellowstone, but they have a spin-off
1:06:10
that's 1883 or whatever the number is, that's set back then.
1:06:14
So even people like that, that's even doing well.
1:06:18
So it's not just like Kurt, not Kurt.
1:06:21
Friggan, what's his name?
1:06:24
Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner driving in a truck.
1:06:26
That's the thing from this movie. It's set back then and it's still doing well.
1:06:30
So people like it. Yeah, I think Yellowstone's definitely made this a pretty easy thing to make, although I
1:06:34
I think it would definitely be a TV show. I mean, Tombstone could be a movie,
1:06:38
but Wyatt Earp could be a TV show too. - Yeah, I think so.
1:06:41
There was a Wyatt Earp TV show through the 50s that ran for a long time, okay,
1:06:44
for Aller, whatever it was called. - Yeah, oh, one other thing I was gonna say for best,
1:06:47
I forgot to write it down, but usually when the Wyatt Earp story is told,
1:06:51
the movie ends with the shootout at the okay crowd.
1:06:53
I liked that this movie used that as like their midpoint.
1:06:56
- Yeah, that was cool. - Yeah, I think it's like a third act after it. I thought that was kinda cool.
1:06:59
- Yeah, that was cool. Oh, did you recast it?
1:07:03
- Yeah, I got a couple. You go first. - No, no, I wanna hear yours first.
1:07:08
All right, so for Wyatt Earp, I got Chris Pratt.
1:07:13
- Holy sh, all right, so I almost did Chris Pratt
1:07:16
for Doc holiday, but I came up with a different one.
1:07:18
And then I was like, well, maybe I can put him
1:07:21
in Wyatt Earp's spot, but then I saw Chris Pine
1:07:26
in the list of actors that I was looking at the ages,
1:07:29
you know? And I like Chris Pine, and I think he could grow
1:07:32
nice mustache. He could definitely grow a nice mustache. Yeah, I was kind of thinking of who
1:07:37
has like good stubble and good mustache. So it's like, and now you've given me a challenge.
1:07:41
And I think I kind of want I'm going to go. So Chris Pratt. Yeah. As wider for Johnny Ringo.
1:07:45
I'm going to go Chris Hemsworth. Oh nice. All the Chris's for dog holiday. I'm going to go
1:07:52
who's Captain America? Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Yeah, Chris Evans for
1:07:59
for Doc Holiday because he actually can be really funny.
1:08:01
- Yeah. - And he has great mustache. - Yeah, we got all Chris's.
1:08:04
I think you should also put Henry Cavill in here somewhere. He's got a great mustache.
1:08:07
I'm just thinking of mustache guys. - If you're gonna put it on with AI or CGI,
1:08:11
he has a great mustache. - Well, no, they took his mustache off with AI.
1:08:13
- Yeah, they covered it up. - From the mission impossible.
1:08:17
- They covered it up. - Yeah, I would. - You could do all Chris's, I think.
1:08:20
- All Chris's. No, you do whoever you do, but.
1:08:23
- Do you name it anything different or is it still called Tombstone?
1:08:26
- No, the Coyote Canyon Chris Croners.
1:08:30
- I had Chris Pine as Wyatt, Wyatt.
1:08:34
- Nice. - I wanted Kurt Russell to come back and play Virgil.
1:08:38
- Yeah. - Like now, 'cause he's-- - Yeah, I thought Billy Bob Thornton
1:08:41
would be a good Virgil too. - Yeah, dude, he's 72 or something like that,
1:08:46
but I think he could still play it. And for Doc holiday, I want Remy Malik.
1:08:51
I think that guy could play-- - He got a good mustache. - He's got--
1:08:54
- Dude, I just think he could play that slow talk
1:08:58
and you would, I think he could play that part.
1:09:01
- I don't really, I don't, I don't know him from anything,
1:09:04
but the Boehmian Rhapsody movie.
1:09:06
- But did you just see Mr. Robot?
1:09:09
- No. - No, I didn't.
1:09:11
- The movie where the stuff comes alive in the museum.
1:09:14
Not at the museum? - No, I did not. - I did not too.
1:09:17
Yeah. - Dude, he's kinda got that, he's a little standoffish, kinda weird,
1:09:21
but he, he's, dude, I think he could play that guy all day.
1:09:24
- This I think would actually be a really fun one to recast because you have like 12 parts
1:09:29
and they're all in their 30s and 40s. So you have like your choice of basically every major actor.
1:09:33
- All the people that we already know
1:09:36
instead of a bunch of 12 year olds
1:09:39
that we've never seen before.
1:09:41
- Yeah, and I do know that Jamie Foxx and Will Smith
1:09:43
can both play really convincing cowboys with good moustaches,
1:09:46
but I didn't find any place to put them in there. - Yeah, I don't wanna put Jamie Foxx in anything
1:09:49
because we've already gotten an anger email
1:09:53
but us putting him in his batman. So we don't want to make that person mad again.
1:09:57
- Pretty sure that person is long gone, but yeah. Can you still watch and enjoy this in 2023?
1:10:03
- Yes. - Yeah, absolutely. - It's hard to find us, not streaming anywhere.
1:10:07
You have to rent it on Amazon Prime or it's on preview with commercials.
1:10:09
If you think you may also be suffering from Isitiel Yama.
1:10:12
- I also have severe to moderate black psoriasis.
1:10:17
- All sort of colitis. The free commercials are always
1:10:21
freaking medical commercials. I can't tell if I think I might have that
1:10:26
and that's why they're showing it at.
1:10:28
Do I look, I don't look that stuff up? Why do they have your--
1:10:31
- If you're watching a movie from 30 years ago,
1:10:33
you might need these, these, these LASIX
1:10:36
or blood pressure medicine. - And here's a coupon for ibuprofen.
1:10:40
- Yeah, so it's hard to find,
1:10:43
but it is available online if you wanna rent it. 399, I rented it on Amazon Prime
1:10:46
'cause I didn't wanna watch commercials or freebie with commercials,
1:10:49
but just pay for it. - Just pay for it.
1:10:53
- We just came out with Uncle Buck on Patreon.
1:10:56
So we got that out there. - That was so much fun.
1:10:59
- Super fun. Next up on Patreon will be Field of Dreams, I think we said.
1:11:03
- Yeah, Field of Dreams. - Well, so Patreon is also available on Apple Podcast
1:11:07
and now just now on Spotify, Patreon just told me two days ago
1:11:10
that it'll be available on Spotify. So if you listen on Spotify,
1:11:13
you can get the Patreon feed there as well too. So that's pretty cool.
1:11:16
- Nice. - Yeah, next episode,
1:11:19
The fugitive. - The fugitive, man.
1:11:21
- What I want from each and every one of you is a hard target search every gas station,
1:11:25
residents warehouse, farmhouse, handhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in that area.
1:11:28
Checkpoints go up at 15 miles.
1:11:31
Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Campbell.
1:11:33
Go get it. - I love me, some fugitive.
1:11:37
- Tommy Lee. - To me too. - And there's fun stories about the behind the scenes
1:11:41
of that movie too, so I am very excited.
1:11:43
- I didn't kill my wife. I don't care. - I don't care.
1:11:47
Yeah, that's good stuff, man.
1:11:49
All right, so what else we got?
1:11:52
Nothing? Nothing. Yeah.
1:11:55
I'm going to go listen to some Coyote Canyon crew nurse.
1:11:57
I love that album. [MUSIC PLAYING]
1:12:00
Thanks for listening to Movie Life Crisis.
1:12:03
Please subscribe, rate, and review, and remember.
1:12:06
Don't drive anger. [MUSIC PLAYING]
1:12:10
(upbeat music)
1:12:13
[Music]
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More