John Bowlby, the main proponent of Attachment Theory, once said, “The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals [is] a basic component of human nature.”

Basically, his theory supports the natural tendency of humans to crave and sustain lasting connectedness with family, friends, or romantic partners. Indeed, whether we admit it or not, we all feel distressed or anxious when our relationships go through turmoils that may cause us to lose our connections with people we love. 

While the feeling of fear may be the same for everyone, how we respond to the situation differ based on our attachment styles. And each attachment style is anchored on our childhood experiences and our relationship with our primary caregiver/s. 

Do you cling too much to your loved one/s because you’re afraid of being abandoned? Or maybe you have the tendency to shut people off and make them feel like you don’t need anybody? Do you seek intimacy and closeness, but you’re too afraid of trusting others? How aware are you of your attachment style and how it affects your behaviors and responses towards people and situations? 

Our guest for this episode is Rose Viggiano – a relationship coach and attachment specialist who can share with us more interesting details about different attachment styles and how they can contribute to the successes and challenges in our relationships from childhood through adulthood. She also shares some personal experiences that most survivors of abusive or toxic relationships can relate to, plus a few intentional recommendations as well! 

Healing Points of This Episode:

• As a child, we might have developed coping mechanisms that enabled us to get through the difficulties and uncertainties in our relationships with our caregivers. 
• Our attachment styles are anchored on our past experiences. 
• It is helpful to know and understand your own attachment style to be able to identify your needs in a relationship. 
• Understanding your own and your partner’s attachment style can help you increase self-awareness and regulate your own behavior and responses. 

Words of Healing:

• “I was really wanting to find an underlying reason because when you find out why it is, then you can make it stop happening. ” – Regina Marie
• “The more they can work on themselves, the more their relationship will change.” – Rose Viggiano
• “ Self-regulation is a huge tool in secure attachment and in healthy relationships.” – Rose Viggiano

Resources Mentioned:

• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model 
• The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships 

Click this link for the full show notes:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a6SoCdWh4xpDAHLgp0Ba2JHLQLkNezbKigcfQ7MJs88/edit?usp=sharing

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