0:06

Oh. My name is Don Saldivar,

0:08

and welcome to my new game show, Cash

0:11

Trunk. We drive around looking

0:13

for unsuspecting people to step into

0:15

my car. But what they don't know is

0:17

that we've turned my car into

0:19

a game show. I quiz passengers

0:22

all the way to their destination. But

0:24

if they get three wrong, they're out

0:27

of here. Let's hit the road now,

0:45

all right? Where to uh?

0:47

Four? Please? You

0:50

got it? My name

0:52

is Joey. By the way, I like to bond

0:55

with everybody who's vaccine. I'm in right,

0:57

all right, cool, I prefer quiet. It's

1:00

actually hey, uh, you

1:02

don't have one of those little TVs, one

1:05

of the the cap TVs. Those are like my favorite,

1:08

that's like my favorite part of the cap. Well,

1:11

this isn't a regular taxi. Oh

1:13

ship? Wait? Is am I on cash cap? Oh?

1:18

No,

1:25

ow, you're

1:31

on cash Trunk. I'm

1:34

gonna take you to your destination, but

1:36

along the way, I'm gonna be asking

1:38

you some trivia questions. Each

1:41

question is worth cold hard

1:44

cash, but if you get

1:46

three wrong, we will drop you

1:48

off on the side of the road in a

1:50

ditch. We're

1:54

in Manhattan. There's no there's no dick. Don't

1:56

slow me get a store. That's oh my god, that's

1:59

down. Oh,

2:02

son't worry. We're taking the scenic route

2:04

to give you more chances to win some money.

2:06

How does that sound?

2:09

I don't want to do that. Hey, I'll

2:11

walk, I'll walk and

2:13

walk. It's cash trunk.

2:15

First question, books missed

2:18

the turn. I'm gonna papa ue. Hey

2:21

man, that's fine. You can ask you to market market

2:24

alright. Question one in Stephen

2:27

King's original Shawshank Redemption

2:29

story, how much money

2:31

does Andy Dufrain smuggle

2:34

into prison via his butt?

2:38

I've never I've never seen the movie. It's thirty

2:40

years old and I haven't seen it. The movies

2:42

older than me. I um uh

2:45

uh fuck?

2:49

Oh so close. You know

2:51

what, if you need help, you have a lifeline.

2:53

Do you want to use your lifeline? I feel like you're struggling

2:55

here. Yeah, all

2:58

right, Well all you have to do is

3:00

punch out that break light right

3:02

there and flag somebody down.

3:05

Thought I was gonna be. I'll

3:08

ask them to roll their window down and they can

3:10

help you answer the question. Go ahead and

3:12

knock that brake light out, and I can trust you

3:14

to do that. Like you're actually gonna ask him because

3:16

I can't see. I can't see ship. Just

3:19

go ahead and pudge that brake light out. Okay,

3:26

Wow, that next car really noticed

3:29

that. All right, let's see, I'm gonna pull

3:31

up to them. Uh No, we're just gonna keep

3:33

driving here. Uh, they're just gonna drive

3:35

right next to us. Let me see the roll under

3:37

window, all right, all right,

3:39

he's holding up his fingers to show the number

3:42

ten. Now he's flashing them

3:44

two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

3:47

nine ten. Oh damn.

3:49

He drove off a cliff. But it seems like he was saying,

3:53

where are they? We're

3:55

in Manhattan, driving you to your

3:57

destination. Actually, I gotta pop a you you was

4:03

it? Was it ten? Out? Was it ten tho dollars?

4:07

That is incorrect? Oh it was

4:10

one hundred dollars. Jeez,

4:12

it's like you want to get dropped off in a ditch.

4:15

I would I actually would prefer not.

4:17

Alright, we're going on to question number two. That's strike

4:20

one, But you got a question number two. God

4:22

damn, the person in front of me is going too

4:24

damn slow. Let me speed up real quick. Damn

4:28

ambulances in this city, I swear, alright.

4:30

Question number two, sure,

4:33

who cares. But what is the

4:36

female gonad? You

4:38

have multiple choice on this one, the uterus,

4:41

the ovary, or the

4:43

brain. Huh,

4:48

don't and don't answer the nickname for

4:51

for for dick and stuff. I

4:54

don't have the answer to that right here.

4:56

I'm just kind of going off the top of my head on these

4:58

questions, unfortunately, just

5:01

sort of making them up because I go along. Oh

5:07

so close, Seriously, this

5:09

ditch is getting closer and closer. It was

5:11

the ovary. It was the ovary.

5:14

Oh so sorry about that. Oh,

5:17

we're going on to a bumpy road. You

5:19

know what that means. It's

5:22

time for the off road round. No

5:26

multiple choices, and it's a lightning round,

5:29

so you have to answer quickly. But of

5:31

course if you get three of these wrong, that

5:33

counts as one more strike and you are out.

5:35

Are you ready for the bumpy road round

5:38

out? I'm

5:42

gonna take that as always as a

5:44

yes. All right, okay? First

5:47

question, what is the square root

5:49

of nine hundred sixty two to

5:51

the nearest integer? I'm gonna kill

5:54

myself. Oh so close, thirty

5:58

one? All right? Next should how

6:01

do you pronounce the number thirty

6:03

one in Latin? But

6:05

they all went on so honestly

6:08

incredibly close, trigging

6:10

top unas, top

6:13

unas. Alright,

6:15

one more question, Joey.

6:17

If you get this one wrong, we

6:20

are kicking you out of this car. Do you understand?

6:23

Yes, I truly can't tell

6:26

that's a good or a bad thing at this point.

6:28

Again, we're still on this bumpy road. To watch your head,

6:30

please be careful. Wow,

6:32

what a bumpy road we've got here. It's

6:34

it's causing all kinds of havoc. All right,

6:37

Joey, here's your question. You gotta get this

6:39

one right unless you want me to drop you off in this

6:41

ditch, which it feels like you do. But here we

6:43

go. What is

6:45

the capital of the United States?

6:50

Washington, Washington, d C. That's

6:52

correct, all right, that

6:54

is correct, all right, But we're gonna keep

6:57

going. Of course, we still got quite a few questions.

6:59

This is a long, umpy road, all right,

7:01

Joey. What is the square root of

7:03

thirty one to the nearest hundred

7:06

of a decimal? Uh?

7:10

Uh uh

7:15

five five five point

7:18

three point three one

7:21

pot close five

7:24

point five six And

7:30

unfortunately that is three incorrect

7:33

answers. You're unfortunately

7:35

still five miles away from your destination,

7:38

which is actually further away than where

7:40

you got picked up. Sorry about that. I

7:42

think I took a wrong turn at some point. All

7:45

right, thanks

7:51

for playing. Yeah, okay,

7:55

I don't where's my phone on my

7:57

phone? Oh? Sorry, I can't give that back

7:59

to you. Can't ruin the sanctity of the game. So here

8:01

we go. All

8:07

right, Well we left that person in a ditch.

8:09

Let's see who we're picking up next. After

8:15

the break man, we're really

8:17

out in the middle of nowhere. Huh

8:33

hi, Hey, hey,

8:37

where too? Um David Busters?

8:39

Please? Sounds good?

8:42

Just one sec.

8:52

You're on past trunk? What

8:56

is past trunk? Out?

9:04

Rules are simple. I promise I'm

9:06

taking you to your destination. On

9:09

the way, I'm going to ask you some trivia

9:11

questions. Each question is worth

9:14

ten dollars cash. If

9:16

you get three wrong, I drop

9:18

you off in a ditch. Does that

9:20

sound all right to you? You

9:23

promise, yeah,

9:25

sure, why not? But you gotta get my

9:27

trivia questions right on the way to your

9:29

destination. Do you think you can handle that? Yeah?

9:35

Alright? I love the enthusiasm.

9:37

Okay,

9:42

is this film?

9:45

It's recorded, It's an audio

9:48

game show. It's the hot

9:50

new thing. Why

9:52

do you ask? Is this a

9:54

game show or is this just like what you

9:57

do? Well, it

9:59

is what I do, and then somebody

10:01

offered me a little bit of money to

10:03

make it a game show podcast.

10:06

I hear it's the hot new thing. Everybody's

10:09

doing it. Codan O'Brien has what I believe.

10:12

Oh cool, sound legit? All

10:15

right, let's do this. I love

10:17

the enthusiasm. Let's get into it. Question

10:20

number one, Damn, I just ran over

10:22

a cute little bunny there, alright?

10:24

Question number one, No, No,

10:27

that was I'm pretty sure that was a bunny. Could have been a

10:29

cap, but I'm fairly certain it was a bunny.

10:32

Alright. Question number one. I

10:35

didn't have time to celebrate this year,

10:37

but International Day for the Elimination

10:40

of Violence against Women is around?

10:43

What holiday? Got a multiple

10:45

choice here? Easter, Thanksgiving

10:48

or pay Day? And of course you have one lifeline

10:51

if you need it. Let me know Easter, Thanksgiving

10:54

or pay Day? Okay, I have

10:57

a guest. I have a guest me

11:00

through that. Can you tell me about the lifeline?

11:03

Yes, if you need help, you can

11:05

punch that break light out and flag somebody

11:08

down. Okay, Yeah,

11:10

I think I'll just go with my guest. Um

11:13

is it Easter, oh

11:16

so close Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving

11:20

Elimination of Violence against

11:22

Women Day is around Thanksgiving.

11:24

I'm surprised you didn't know that, but okay,

11:27

wow, that is that is strike one. That is unfortunate.

11:30

And we have still a ways away

11:32

to your destination. So there's a lot

11:34

writing on question number two. You

11:38

know, I I can't really count that good.

11:40

All right, we're going into question number two.

11:43

Are you ready for it? Yeah?

11:46

Here we go up. We're passing through a school

11:48

zone with the speed up real quick. He

11:53

alright. Question number two in

11:58

the clotrus whatever that is

12:00

was labeled by a French physician member

12:03

on tool, which translates

12:06

to what the shameful

12:08

member, the dishonorable

12:11

organ, or the old

12:13

wives tale. Al

12:15

Right, of course you still have a lifeline on the block. But I want

12:17

to hear your thought process here. Okay,

12:20

well, I it's

12:23

the first one that was member because

12:26

you said like member, so

12:29

those sounds similar. So that I

12:31

think is my most educated guest. But

12:38

I just really don't know like this would

12:40

be a guest again. Um,

12:45

so I punch

12:49

through the brake light. Just go ahead and

12:51

punch that brake light out and flag somebody down.

12:54

Okay, um okay,

12:57

hold on, okay, okay,

13:05

alright, I think you need one more to get it out. I don't

13:07

I don't know if that was that was hard enough? Actually, can

13:09

I can? I kick? It doesn't have to

13:11

be a punch, you can

13:13

try. I find it easier to just punch

13:16

it out in the times that I've practiced

13:18

this game at home by myself. But

13:20

yeah, go ahead, whatever whatever will work, all

13:23

right. I'm just I'm just going to use my foot real

13:25

quick because my hand is bleeding. Um

13:28

okay, yes,

13:33

okay, so now I can ask, Yeah,

13:36

just flag somebody down. Do

13:38

whatever hand gesture you think would flag somebody

13:40

down. Sticking alright,

13:43

that middle finger might not be might not

13:45

be the best thing to do. Just try to flag somebody

13:48

down there. I'm in a car trunk.

13:51

I'm a woman in a car trunk.

13:54

Hello, all right, we

13:56

got somebody, We got a concerned citizen. So

13:58

we're gonna drive up right next to the match their

14:01

speed here, and I'm gonna have them

14:03

roll their window down, all

14:05

right, and I'm gonna go ahead

14:07

and ask them the question in the

14:11

clitoris whatever that is was labeled

14:13

by a French physician membore

14:15

on toe, which translates

14:17

to what shameful member,

14:20

dishonorable organ, or old

14:22

wives tale? All

14:24

right, she's she's rubbing her

14:27

two index fingers together, one

14:29

on top of the other. All

14:32

right, she's holding up a

14:34

DVD copy of the third Austin Powers

14:37

movie. Okay, I don't know if that helps you, but memborate

14:39

on toe translates to what the shameful

14:42

member, the dishonorable organ,

14:45

or the old wives tale? Okay,

14:48

um, I think it's the

14:51

shameful member that

14:54

is correct. All

14:56

right, that is ten.

15:00

There's cash, But of course we

15:02

are we Oh, we're almost there, but

15:04

actually my ex lives on the street, so I'm gonna

15:06

take the long way. Oh

15:10

oh, yellow light challenge? Do

15:12

I speed up or slow down? Do

15:16

I speed up? Or do I slow down?

15:20

Too late? Ship? Ship?

15:23

I think that was a cop stay

15:25

trooper. Ah, we're

15:27

getting pulled over. You

15:30

know what that means? If we don't

15:32

hate that I'm in here, of

15:34

course it is. But we are getting pulled

15:36

over, So you know what that means. It's

15:38

time for the getting pulled over around

15:41

questions are worth double after

15:43

the break act,

16:06

Cool act, cool back, Hey, good

16:08

evening, good evening, officer, and

16:11

welcome to cash trunk. Sir,

16:13

Do you have a person in the trunk of your car that's

16:16

right and they need your help answering

16:18

questions to win some cash? Oh

16:22

my god, I love game shows. Okay,

16:24

okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, how can

16:26

I help? All right? Your question for both

16:29

you and our person

16:31

in the trunk is I

16:34

believe her name is Mary. I'm getting

16:36

word from in my ear. What

16:39

was the name of the c I A

16:41

operation that killed Osama

16:44

bin Lauded. You have a multiple choice

16:46

here, Operation Neptune

16:49

Spear, Operation

16:51

Apollo Arrow, or

16:54

Operation kill Osama

16:56

bin Lauded. Okay, okay,

16:58

pretty straightforward answer, or with se there? Okay,

17:01

so you can you can't go ahead and and

17:03

and chat amongst yourself, can confer on

17:06

on what you think the answer might be? The CIA

17:08

operation that killed Osama

17:10

bin Lauded. Well, I was real happy

17:13

they got that some bitch. But you know, I

17:15

wish I could have done it myself, but I didn't. And if I

17:17

would have, you know, if I got to name

17:19

the operation, I would have said Operation in Dan Salvodard

17:21

that's my name, because I would have done

17:23

it myself. But I gotta think that the

17:26

people at the CIA are real straight shooters. And I'm

17:28

gonna go ahead and say that. You know, they

17:30

just named it Operation kill Osama

17:32

Bin Lan and that's my final answer. First

17:35

things First, our person in the trunk, Mary

17:38

is it is gonna have to give the final answer.

17:40

Confirm on the final answer. But I trouble.

17:43

No, We're fine. Mary. You

17:46

got a headlight out and that's the only issue here.

17:48

Otherwise I'm please

17:51

be cool, Just be cool about that, all

17:53

right. I had to I had

17:56

to ask, is your name Dan

17:58

salty Bar? That is

18:00

correct? Yeah, my

18:03

name is Don SALTI bar, You're

18:06

Don, I'm Don, You're Dan?

18:09

Wait? Are are we cousins? I

18:11

mean very well, you don't even see Latino at

18:13

all. But I'm gonna go ahead and

18:15

say we're probably cousins by marriage.

18:17

Wow, Oh my god, crazy.

18:20

I've been really good just hosting this

18:23

game show Cash Drunk. You know

18:25

it's it's it's a living um not

18:27

not too much. I most I get mostly paid

18:29

by the fair that I that I get from

18:31

people. But you know, it's it's mostly at

18:35

nights. It's a it's a regular cap but it's

18:37

great. Well, you look good. It seems like you're doing great

18:39

for yourself. Oh thanks man, Yeah

18:41

you too. Yeah. How long have you get up patrol

18:43

in this highway? Or the old badge and gun?

18:45

You know, the

18:48

old badge and gun just like just

18:50

like mob used to make. All right, But let's

18:52

go ahead and just confer. Mary,

18:55

can you believe this is my cousin what

19:01

you're I guess we were talking a little lower.

19:03

We should, we should be shouting more. Mary,

19:05

So that me, me and my cousin have been conferring.

19:08

My cousin thinks that the answer is Operation

19:11

kill Osama Bin Laden. Again,

19:13

the answers are Operation Neptune

19:16

Spear, Operation Apollo

19:18

Arrow In, Operation kill Osama

19:20

Bin Lada. Mary, what are you thinking? Oh?

19:27

I don't want to say something

19:31

that Dan Wasn't Dan,

19:35

I do? You're gonna have to really, it's

19:38

crazy, right, Isn't that the craziest

19:40

thing? But you really will have to enunciate.

19:43

It's hard to hear you back in that trunk. Okay.

19:45

So, on the one hand, I

19:48

don't feel very confident in

19:50

Dan's answer. But on

19:53

the other hand, I'm gonna feel

19:55

like a real hell if I

19:57

don't say his answer, and that drink

20:00

out to be the right answer. So

20:03

I'm gonna go ahead and lock

20:06

in operations.

20:09

What's the assassinate? What

20:11

is it? I'm gonna need an exact same

20:14

Okay, okay, operation

20:16

kill Osama bin Laden. And that

20:18

is my final answering. That

20:21

is oh incorrect.

20:24

Wow, that is that is strike two.

20:27

That is strike two. It

20:30

was it was Operation Neptune Spear,

20:32

Operation Neptune Spear. But

20:34

you still have you still have ten dollars cash.

20:36

You're almost at your destination. But

20:39

you know what, Hey, Dan, do

20:41

you want to just pop in the backseat

20:43

just kind of hang out for the rest

20:45

of the ride. Sure, yeah, let me. I'll

20:48

just leave the car right here, I'll come in great. Yeah,

20:50

I don't even turn off the lights. Okay, here we go. All

20:54

right, what a what a fun time.

20:56

But Mary, of course, there is a lot writing

20:58

on this last question. I'm

21:01

gonna go ahead and let Dan Dan help

21:03

you out. But it doesn't sound like he's been too much help

21:05

so far. All right, we're going into

21:07

question number four. This is where

21:09

ten dollars. If you get it wrong, you're out

21:12

of here. And Dan, I forgot to mention we'll probably

21:14

have to teamwork drop her off in a ditch

21:16

somewhere. That's fine, sounds

21:19

great, alright. Question number

21:22

four, What is

21:24

the name of s n L alum

21:27

Chris Cantans memoir?

21:31

Is it Behind the Mango?

21:35

Mr? Peepers? Was my father called

21:37

me? Chris? Or Baby

21:40

Don't Hurt Me? Stories

21:42

and Scars? All

21:46

right? What are you two thinking? Mary? What are

21:48

you thinking? I think it's either one

21:50

or three. Do

21:53

you remember what they were? What the what the names of

21:55

those things were. It's the first one

21:57

I believe was behind Mango,

22:00

correct, Behind the Mango, Behind the

22:02

Mango, and the third one, baby

22:05

Don't Hurt Me, Stories

22:09

and Scars? Yeah, I believe you said that. It's

22:11

just really hard to hear you from again.

22:14

You're in the trunk, all right? Yeah,

22:19

I have no clue. I was always more of

22:21

a mad TV guy, I like Stewart, and

22:24

so this Chris Cattan fella, I know of him,

22:27

but I can't say that I know enough about him

22:29

to guess what his memoir would be. But

22:31

the Mango one sounds kind of nice, and you

22:33

know, it's a fun name for a memoir.

22:38

I can I can say he was in quirky romano

22:40

if that helps at all? All

22:46

right? Well that doesn't, That doesn't

22:48

help all right? Right, you know I was

22:51

wondering if it did or not. All right, Mary,

22:53

what are you thinking? You have? You have my my

22:55

cousin Dan saying that it's

22:58

behind the mango sounds right, but

23:01

more of a mad TV guy anyway, So

23:04

you know, and and didn't help too much on the last

23:07

one, and you were between two answers.

23:09

There's a lot writing on this, Mary, what are

23:11

you thinking right now? Now?

23:15

I know this is this is really

23:17

tough. You know, I got ten dollars

23:19

on the line, or you know

23:21

I could go it um

23:24

somewhere, which isn't really close to

23:27

David Buster's at all. Probably

23:29

um um. But I

23:31

feel pretty good about my answer, and

23:35

let's lock in. Um.

23:38

It's the last one. Baby, don't hurt me

23:40

such and such such a baby,

23:42

don't hurt me stories and scars.

23:45

Mary, Yes, that

23:49

is correct, And you've

23:51

made it to your destination, made

23:54

it safe and sound. Mary, how do you win

23:57

anything? I never win anything.

24:00

Well, tonight your luck has changed.

24:03

Yeah, it's it's getting a little late. I'm really

24:05

glad we didn't have to drop you off in that ditch. Oh

24:08

Mary, against all odds, you

24:10

made it. I guess it helps that you only wanted to

24:12

go right down the block. But of course,

24:14

how how do you feel? How do you feel? Say it one

24:17

more time for the people at home? I

24:20

guess want cash

24:22

trunk and I'm feeling trunk.

24:25

You sure are all right? I'm

24:27

gonna let you out now, baby, don't

24:29

hurt me. All

24:33

right, So you're walking away with seventy five

24:35

dollars in cash. Here you go.

24:38

Now you just have to pay your fare and it's

24:41

seventy seven dollars and fifty cents.

24:43

So, um, I don't

24:45

want to Oh wow,

24:48

um, I guess you're going back in

24:50

the trunk. Damn

24:57

good bloody hands shot

25:00

up. Alright, Dan, well, I think

25:02

that's the that's the end of the end

25:04

of the show. Do you want you want to go grab something something?

25:06

Yeah, let's take the squad car out to David Buster

25:09

Les gona have a bite. Yeah, you know what, Let's just leave

25:11

this car here. Sounds great. My

25:13

car is much better anyway, all right, Oh

25:16

and join us next time for cash Trunk.

25:18

Junior