Original recording 20200306. I was working everyday for a month ish sometimes starting somewhere and ending elsewhere. I learned being tied to a corporate inbox induces a lot of anxiety. I also learned that even though I am responsible, I don't enjoy always having work stuff on my mind when I go home. I do, however, enjoy tormenting myself about audio, overlays, etc, trying to make myself and my twitch better. My heart has to be in it or a task becomes mentally overwhelming. Typically, my heart is my compass. I am unfortunately a very emotional person. I am still practical, btw: but I have to feel strongly to take action. I talk about the 'rona, my agitation with people not washing their hands enough and/or properly, being frustrated with myself for window shopping when I shouldn't be, money, being worried about disappointing others, trying to find balance in work and being able to stream, loyalty, doing things my heart isn't in or I feel I have no natural talent for and am also am not learning fast enough (imho) when the field is faster paced. I probably won't feel comfortable financially to try full time come September (and as of now: May 27 am working on learning alternative income sources), but I want to still strive for Full Time. I am no therapist. Some origin story stuff near the end. I am just sharing my feels in hopes it is entertaining or relatable, but mostly to track where I was at whatever point in time. I hope we can all work through challenges we are facing. Let's be good to ourselves <3.