0:09

Hello, and welcome to my

0:11

time capsule. I'm

0:18

Mike Fenton Stevens, and my

0:20

time captured is the podcast where I asked

0:22

my guests to tell me the five things from their

0:24

life that they'd like to put in a time

0:26

capsule. They pick four things that they

0:28

cherish and what keep safe, but they also

0:30

pick one thing they'd rather forget, something

0:33

they want to bury in the ground and never

0:35

think of again. And that's what we

0:37

talk about. My guest in this episode

0:39

is the Irish Thanop comedian, Neil

0:41

Delamere. Neil has been described

0:44

as a rindy brilliant live performer

0:46

by The Sunday Times. He's best known

0:48

for quickwitted appearances on myriad

0:50

panel shows and his hilarious live

0:52

standup tours. Neil is a regular

0:55

contributor for BBC Radio four on

0:57

the news quiz, the now show and

0:59

the unbelievable truth. As well as

1:01

fighting talk on BBC radio five

1:03

live. He's one of the top acts working in

1:05

the Irish comedy scene today, having

1:07

presented Neil just for laughs.

1:09

Eureka, the big bang query, and

1:12

Republic of Teli for RTE. Neil

1:14

has also appeared on Richard Osman's how of

1:17

games, celebrity chase, countdown,

1:19

celebrity mastermind, and the Michael

1:21

McIntyre show on the BBC, as

1:23

well as the world stands up and

1:25

live at the company store on Comedy Central.

1:28

He's been a permanent catalyst on BBC

1:30

Northern Ireland's the blame game since

1:32

the show's inception. In addition

1:35

to writing and presenting award winning TV

1:37

documentaries on the Vikings and sympatric,

1:40

Neil recently starred in the BBC

1:42

documentary soft border patrol,

1:44

with his sketches subsequently garnering in

1:46

success of three million views online.

1:49

He's performed all over the world,

1:51

including at the Edinburgh, Montreal,

1:53

and Melbourne festivals, where he shows

1:56

have amassed multiple five star reviews.

1:59

So that's Neil Delamere. Impressive,

2:01

isn't it? And hope you enjoy listening

2:03

to Neil as much as I enjoyed talking

2:05

to him. Now I can guarantee you one

2:07

thing from this episode. It will make

2:10

you laugh Have fun. So

2:14

lovely to have you on the podcast, but you do

2:16

your own podcast. Certainly, I do. Yeah.

2:18

It's it's a a chance for me

2:20

to completely indulge my myself

2:24

and be deliberately niched myself and my my

2:26

Frank is called Dave Murray. This is a very big

2:28

show over here. And in Ireland, it's one

2:30

of the biggest kind of commercial radio shows. And

2:32

when we talk to each other, we don't normally we don't

2:34

talk like normal human beings. We

2:37

we tell each other facts. It

2:39

was like it was like, did you

2:41

know that Ireland's first Olympic medal

2:43

after we became independent. It was won by a painter.

2:46

And our Jacky Yates,

2:48

by the way, it's w b Yates'

2:50

brother because Yeah. In nineteen

2:52

twenty four because painting was part of the Olympics.

2:54

Anyway, most people look at me and

2:56

go, shoot up you idiots. And they,

2:58

of course, see your fact to that there is. That

3:00

fact. So we we tell each the facts, and

3:02

then we get people in the second half who are

3:04

actual experts to back us up. So we would

3:06

have like Susie dent was on recently,

3:09

and she was explaining why we speak English to where

3:11

we speak English -- Mhmm. -- and giving us

3:13

the definition of words and We've had

3:15

a professor of anthropology talk about the

3:17

must were people who live in China and a small

3:19

area in China who live in a matcha lineal society

3:22

where all the power and

3:24

it's it's it's passed down the the

3:26

man's line and you take your mother's

3:29

surname and there isn't really a FarmVinch

3:31

choose lives marriage, traditionally, and stuff.

3:33

So we just try and do stuff that's

3:35

interests us. It's called, why would you tell me that? And

3:37

that's that's all it is. It's an excuse to

3:40

indulge yourself. Same as your park as

3:42

you wanna talk to people who you

3:44

might find interesting in the It's indulgent in

3:46

a way, isn't it? It is indulgent. It's very

3:48

self indulgent. But you should come if

3:51

you're ever in Cambridge, well, just come out with me

3:53

on a Tuesday night. That's exactly what me

3:55

and my mates do. We sit there and go, oh, I don't know

3:57

if you knew this. This is interesting. Come

3:59

on. Give us one. Okay. I

4:01

like the shift of the n. So

4:03

you have a a nap

4:05

room. And you like this one, don't you?

4:07

Dave Dave did it this week at

4:09

the show. There you are. I love that

4:12

fact. Why don't you explain to your listeners then?

4:14

Well, just so it used to be because it's it

4:16

goes around your neck, so your nap. It

4:18

was called a nap room. And

4:20

over time, that end has moved and

4:22

become an apron. And it's

4:24

the same as orange, isn't it? Yeah. A orange.

4:26

It was a orange. Yeah. From the Spanish.

4:29

You have to come on our podcast now and

4:31

give us random fact a No.

4:33

No. No. No. You really wanna get my wife on,

4:35

not me because not only did

4:37

she work for GUI, but she's a

4:39

doctor of science, so she's rather an

4:41

expert on t

4:43

cells and blood. Oh,

4:45

okay. Yeah. Which we all thought

4:47

we didn't know anything about an end of global pandemic

4:50

hits, and then suddenly we're absolute spurts

4:52

an antibody response and t cells.

4:54

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And she was the only

4:56

person who ever knew what she was talking about when

4:58

she brought it up until that time.

5:00

Until yeah. We all became self appointed

5:02

experts. No. I listened to your Joe

5:04

Wilkinson episode fairly recently, and

5:06

you'd mentioned that your wife was a doctor

5:08

of science, and I have to

5:10

say I really enjoyed that particular

5:13

episode. He picked one thing that I was going to pick

5:15

as well, though. Which

5:17

is his fireside game on

5:19

on one of his nights. I absolutely

5:21

adore my fireside game. I have to say, What

5:23

I like about apart from the fact that, you know, you're

5:25

just getting out and running is is the complete

5:27

difference between my wife joined

5:30

weights kind of exercise us, and they all

5:32

became friends instantly, and they all text

5:34

each of them became a WhatsApp

5:35

group. I have

5:36

been playing football for about

5:38

twenty years with these lads. I don't know their

5:40

surname. My god. There's a lot

5:42

of slats I've I've never met before.

5:44

And there's no, like, anything

5:46

beyond Pesley. There's a text sent out who

5:48

is available for football. I am

5:50

available. I am available. I am

5:52

available for Brandon instead. Oh,

5:54

no, Brandon instead. We only have

5:56

nine. Can we put Brandon in goals?

5:59

How stiff is he? Will the rigor

6:01

set team? Can we just prop him there? Oh,

6:03

no. So sad Brandon is dead because he hit the

6:05

ball in the pibs. I mean, there's no level

6:07

beyond No. That

6:08

is very true. That's a very male thing,

6:10

is that -- Yeah. -- particularly, Bradford's

6:12

dead. Oh, no. Does anybody else realize that? Yeah.

6:14

Up and had all the gear and the key to

6:16

the hall. That's the the

6:18

only level of of the

6:20

direction we have. I quite like that surface

6:22

level in some ways. As long as you have other people in

6:24

your life that it goes a little bit deeper, you can tell

6:26

them your problems. But it's a it's a

6:28

remarkable difference between the two. But I have

6:30

don't worry selected four of things to hope

6:32

for you to be interested in. Okay.

6:34

Lovely. Well, let's find out what they

6:36

are. Okay. I

6:38

think the first one, I'm gonna pick a sport. If

6:40

I can pick point. I'll even pick

6:42

I'll even pick a season if you would like.

6:44

Now, I don't know how familiar you are with the sport

6:47

of Huddling, which is the fastest field

6:49

game in the world. Yes. And

6:51

it's it's a Galex sport, fifteen

6:53

aside. And my county, I'm

6:55

gonna pick the nineteen ninety eight season

6:57

of the Harling temperature.

7:01

That's how specific this is going to get.

7:03

My county is county roughly. It's the last time

7:05

we won the oil island. And

7:07

you could pick everybody from

7:09

this county and put them in Crow Park

7:11

or in Wembley Stadium and still

7:13

have several thousand seats left

7:14

over. It's So

7:17

we're at that level of of of a small county,

7:19

thirty two counties in Ireland. And

7:21

the reason I like Air exports,

7:24

a part the fact that I love this particular sport

7:26

because it's so good under this. You know, they don't

7:28

wear protection in terms of padding. I mean, they wear

7:30

helmet, so if it is so there's a genuine physical

7:32

bravery involved in I like it

7:34

because it's still amateur. So it's

7:36

very strange to be sharing it with

7:38

eighty thousand people. What watching

7:40

your butcher, play, corner back,

7:42

or watching your mechanic. You

7:44

know what I mean? Yes. Score or go and

7:46

become immortal and then go back to

7:48

selling carries the next day. I

7:50

think that's kind of remarkable thing. Isn't

7:52

it? Like football used to be. People

7:54

talk about turning up to see the epic up

7:56

final and going on the bus with the

7:58

players. It's kind of mad, isn't

8:00

it? It's it's this little island of

8:03

I suppose nostalgia in some ways

8:05

for a time gone by, but

8:07

also there's a certain degree of

8:09

honesty to it because they don't get paid.

8:11

Now, obviously, they train at a level of

8:13

professionals. You know, the training as

8:15

as astronauts professionals will and the

8:17

the scale involved in is incredible. I mean, the

8:19

ball goes well over a hundred miles an hour.

8:21

And there's also a tragedy. I

8:23

think I think as a as a as

8:25

a ham. Yourself, Micah. You like the

8:27

sort of pheath us involved in that.

8:30

If you could be one of the best ever

8:32

proponents of this particular sport, and if

8:34

you're born the wrong side of a border, you could play

8:36

with a weaker county and never win anything.

8:38

Yeah. Never win anything because

8:41

they transfer and your country is

8:43

your country and that's it. So I think

8:45

that's sort of glorious. And the

8:47

year this is the last year we won

8:49

anything in in

8:50

Hurling. It was nineteen ninety eight. I was

8:52

a young college student.

8:55

We played in the provincial final

8:57

and we lost

8:58

and it was the first year ever. So it's like the

9:00

Epic cop in terms of the knockout

9:02

basis of it. Right. We we

9:04

lost in the final and it was the first

9:06

every year that have this backdoor

9:08

system. So we lost, and the team was

9:10

down, they changed the managers,

9:12

and then they went into

9:14

this bigger draw and they play county

9:16

player. And what happened was I

9:18

was in Crock Park, a national

9:20

stadium. It's rammed, and we are a

9:22

couple of points down against County Claire.

9:25

And the referee blows up early. He

9:27

blows up before time

9:29

is up. And

9:31

all of us sit on the pitch

9:33

and protest this. Wow.

9:36

And we get a replay and

9:38

we win the replay and we go into the all

9:40

our final and then we win the

9:42

Orlando final. And we haven't won

9:44

anything since and it's this

9:46

in in Hurling. I think

9:48

it's I think it's wrapped up in

9:50

my My love of the sport and also I

9:52

haven't lived in my home county

9:54

for twenty five years. Right. Do you

9:56

know where people when they move abroad,

9:58

they become kind of more English than they were

10:01

originally or they become more Irish and they become -- Yeah.

10:03

Yeah. -- you know that sort of expat vibe. I think

10:05

there's a there's an element of that too

10:07

as well. Because it's where I'm

10:09

from, but I don't live there anymore. So that's why

10:11

I hold it in this highest team, you

10:13

know? Yes. It's where all the performers

10:15

who have stopped performing in those

10:17

areas. They still go abroad and perform

10:19

and everybody goes, oh, we love Kenneth

10:21

McKenna. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's

10:23

a similar thing, isn't it? It's tied up with your

10:25

sense of yourself. It's it's

10:27

tied up I mean, I I agree. I did a

10:29

gig a while ago in in my home

10:31

county, and there's a guy in the front row who or

10:33

a few rows back. Who had played on that

10:35

team. And he thought I was gonna

10:37

mess with him and slag him and stuff. And I just

10:39

kinda went thanks for the memories.

10:41

became a little bit emotional though. Yeah.

10:43

A lot of these people are looking at me who are

10:45

familiar with me just kinda messing with the front row of God.

10:47

He's having some sort of breaks out over

10:49

a match that was twenty more

10:51

years ago. So but then you also,

10:54

you go into the alright. Don't look at me like

10:56

that. For goodness sake, you don't understand. The

10:58

ball goes in over a hundred miles an hour. They're

11:00

not professionals. They do it because they love

11:02

it. I can absolutely understand

11:04

that, the fact that you are completely in love

11:06

with that. It's it's there's a of a

11:08

purity to it. Now kind of romanticizing it

11:10

to a certain degree because, obviously,

11:12

if you put a lot of money, you know, if you have

11:14

a kind of a benefactor, you know,

11:16

you do start winning things because you have

11:18

strength and conditioning coaches and all that sort

11:20

of stuff. But there's still a degree of

11:22

purity to that

11:24

makes me outdoors, you know.

11:27

And I I speak to someone who

11:29

has no physical ability to

11:31

play Adity

11:31

Sports. Anyway, shape, or

11:34

form. Like, I

11:34

do play with those lads who play indoor football,

11:36

and I have been done for speed

11:38

by sixty roads. Like,

11:40

when a guy who runs by you and you can hear the

11:43

clicking of his hip to know

11:45

to know when you turn on the breaker switch for an

11:47

electric shower, and that's the same

11:49

as a guy whizzing by you. So

11:51

I'm doing physical ability

11:53

whatsoever. As anybody who shall be

11:55

in dancing with the stars might attest

11:57

I do think that I I kind

11:59

of admired that level of of ability

12:01

as well, you know. Yeah. And when I when I was

12:03

growing up, we I didn't play that a sport. I played rugby

12:05

in my hometown because that was what the lads you didn't play

12:08

other sports when I play, you know? And

12:10

how were you at rugby? I

12:12

often walked off entirely clean.

12:14

Which I thought was was

12:16

a bad side in terms of the ball possession, you

12:18

know? Yes. Not necessarily your fault.

12:20

If maybe the rest of the team was saying, Don't give it

12:22

a deal. Don't Absolutely. Yeah.

12:25

No. That was that was probably worthy

12:27

issues I had. I I remember talking to a guy out there,

12:29

and they had a good Rugby Traditional. A

12:31

guy told me that one of my favorite stories from the

12:33

Robby Club once was and there's a guy who's

12:35

a very good winger, but he was he fairly

12:37

inattentive. And He's fairly

12:39

gullible. And one day, he was in the dressing room,

12:41

and they said to me he had a bit of a growing

12:43

strain. And they gave him I think it

12:45

was called winter green at the time, which is deep

12:47

pees essentially. Yeah. But he he got it on his

12:49

thigh, but he also got it on

12:51

his. So they they

12:53

they go for a scrum. Right? And then they look

12:55

along the line because they're gonna give it to 256. And

12:57

he's not there. He's not in the wing. And look,

12:59

where is he? So they go over, and

13:02

he's in a ditch besides

13:04

besides the ground. And

13:06

he's just dipping his

13:08

spits into a ditch,

13:11

like a steam coming off from

13:13

I was like the stream. No.

13:15

No. It's a cold mountain stream. That's what I

13:17

need. Yeah. Yeah. This this psychedelic

13:20

idea of of fields in the background that

13:22

this guy gently lapping his steam

13:24

and testing it for a jam. Neil, you take me back

13:26

to a school time memory that --

13:28

Oh, go on. -- I desperately tried

13:30

to push shoot out of my mind. We had a

13:32

sports master who I think was a bit of a

13:34

pervert actually, but he insisted that none

13:36

of us could wear our underpants

13:38

under our shorts. Because it was

13:40

un hygienic. And

13:42

not many of us had sort of

13:44

sports briefs as they were called, you

13:46

know, or jockstraps ready. We were

13:48

only lads. We didn't have them. So we used to play

13:50

rugby just in our shorts.

13:52

And there was one boy in our team who

13:54

was very fast. And he was running

13:56

down the wing and somebody dived out

13:58

him and grabbed him and pulled his short

14:00

stem and we all thought this was

14:02

hysterically funny. Until we realize

14:05

that with his shorts had come his

14:07

fore skin.

14:08

Oh, Christ

14:11

-- Mhmm. Oh

14:13

my god, lord. Okay.

14:16

I have many questions. Did you

14:18

did you score That's the first question.

14:20

He didn't

14:21

score for months.

14:22

What age did you see at this

14:24

point? About about fourteen. Yeah.

14:27

Oh, Lord. So doctor

14:29

called -- Yeah. Absolutely. --

14:31

mother of god. That was driving in

14:33

agony on the floor. Oh. And and what

14:35

you don't want is as the audience

14:37

of fourteen year old boys who obviously take its

14:39

hilarious at the start ups. Mhmm. I mean, there's a

14:41

minimum levels of sympathy from your teammates.

14:43

I would though. Indeed. Yeah.

14:45

We were in hysterics, and

14:47

then we realized exactly what had

14:49

happened. And I mean, you swallow the laugh because

14:51

-- Yeah. -- just oh god.

14:54

Yeah. And then you imagine yourself in that position and

14:56

then you get kinda slightly terrified. Mhmm. Because you

14:58

can't cope with that sort of stuff in your fourteen anyway. I

15:00

don't think I cope well with it now to be perfectly

15:02

honest with you. I don't think an age where you get where

15:04

you think you're seeing a force getting ripped off. We got,

15:06

ah, listen, being here done that. Amortized.

15:10

But I know that the local sports

15:12

store completely sold out of joke

15:14

straps that week. If

15:18

I mean, if that was if he was slightly

15:20

more Shessel, and that was the modern era. There will be

15:22

an ad campaign with that fella. His

15:24

agents would have him on the front of

15:26

everything, wouldn't there? They

15:29

would yet. Oh my

15:31

god. Well, I love the idea of

15:33

herding. I've only seen it on the television a

15:35

couple of times, but I have say, I I do

15:37

find it a really exciting game. I

15:39

mean, the speed which the ball goes around

15:41

Andy, as with hockey,

15:43

actually the fitness of the players is

15:45

astonishing, isn't it? Yeah. There's

15:47

somebody running full tilt. I

15:49

mean, full tilt in front of

15:51

eighty odd thousand people with

15:53

a stick and a ball balanced

15:55

at the end of the stick. And

15:57

then the flake it up and hit it over

15:59

by sixty yards away.

16:01

Yeah. I mean, if you don't see

16:03

the grace and balletic

16:05

scale in that, I mean,

16:07

I have issues with you as

16:09

a human being. You don't have to like it. You don't

16:11

have to like sports. But it

16:13

it basically you could

16:15

hate sport But if you just look at what the human

16:17

body is capable of, it's

16:19

incredible. Like, it's incredibly beautiful to

16:21

watch, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So for all

16:23

those reasons and for that's the

16:25

kind of you know, it's it's how you

16:27

wish your body would work if you if you had a

16:29

choice. So -- Yes. -- in my time capsule. And

16:31

I also there's an element

16:33

of wanting to freeze

16:35

the nicer, preserve the Nasdaq or whatever

16:37

way you want to say it because I think

16:39

it is changing. So for the time

16:41

capsule point of view, if we open this in a hundred

16:43

years, I hope it is as it is now and it

16:45

hasn't become professional and we're not looking

16:47

at the Dublin franchise that has

16:49

moved to 256 away. Like, like

16:52

like American kind of franchises

16:55

and teams. Yeah. And so that's

16:57

that's the other reason at Pakers. And I think it's been

16:59

important for for Irish people

17:01

abroad. You know, I mean, there there

17:03

has been all Ireland's played

17:05

in the polar grounds in

17:07

in New York, for example, in the in the forties.

17:09

And it was it's it's to do with 256

17:11

the kind of the the Aspera. I mean, there

17:13

are it there are county boards in England, for example.

17:16

So like Warickshire has a team,

17:18

London has a team of ex

17:21

of exiles. And so for all those

17:23

reasons, I'm going to pick it, John.

17:24

Yeah, absolutely. It's a good choice.

17:26

And particularly, I think, for that match

17:28

where people protested, the idea that

17:31

actually fans because of the

17:33

injustice of it -- Yeah.

17:35

-- that's what I like about it. That

17:36

can affect change because most of these

17:39

things I suppose if you compare it to

17:41

the other thing that we were annoyed about when

17:43

when in my sporting life

17:45

was tierion rehandling the ball and -- Mhmm.

17:47

-- I mean, it was immediately evident

17:49

that nobody was gonna get justice for that. In

17:51

the same way that England didn't get justice for the

17:53

hand of God, even though those are

17:55

truly remarkable goals going after that, which is

17:57

one of the best goals in Severin's scored by

17:59

a human being. Yeah. And

18:01

the idea that we are going to get just as

18:04

far events in sport. I

18:06

mean, that has been spread out of us, really.

18:08

Mhmm. Particularly in football with

18:10

VAR. Yeah. BIR. Sometimes

18:12

they'll say, yeah, that's a penalty. And sometimes they

18:14

won't which is exactly what a referee used

18:16

to do. Yeah. Yeah. And I think

18:19

with the Gail exports as well, there

18:21

is an element of it. It's still it's like

18:23

Foppo was kind of thirty,

18:25

forty years you mean, you don't really have diving.

18:27

You don't really have the same level of show

18:29

boarding. You don't really have some of

18:31

the things that we might dislike with

18:34

modern

18:34

football. So I think that's one

18:36

of the the appeals of it as well. It's

18:38

quite a

18:39

now I am romanticizing it. I am, you

18:41

know It's quite it's quite honest, I suppose, in

18:43

some ways. There's there's thirty cynicism as well in

18:45

the pot, you know. Maybe a little bit less

18:47

on the other sports.

18:48

Yeah. You're you're describing Ireland,

18:52

aren't you?

18:52

Oh, no. That's way more. See this is what I was

18:55

like. Way more. I mean,

18:57

big grocery, he's a national pastor, and

18:59

and here. That's

19:01

that's I always think that there

19:03

was probably a doctor who invented a cure for

19:05

a big road trip in Ireland, but he didn't give the

19:07

cure to anybody. I

19:09

always think that that is an idea

19:12

here. It's the same as tall puppy

19:14

syndrome in Australia. You know, there's a there's an

19:16

element of that. Mhmm. But,

19:18

no, IIII don't know if I would have

19:20

rather size here and quite 256 same way as is this

19:22

particular section of here.

19:24

Yeah. Lovely. Alright. That's the first thing that

19:26

goes into the time capsule deal. Okay.

19:28

So what's number two? Number

19:31

two is heist films.

19:33

Right? I don't know why.

19:35

I absolutely adore

19:38

heist films. And maybe you can tell me,

19:40

Mike, why I love them so much? And my

19:42

wife always goes, I think it's something about the planning that

19:44

you like. I'm like, Well, I mean, there's a lot of

19:46

planning in the wedding, and I don't I don't

19:49

I don't I don't let go to them. I

19:51

don't get excited when you sit down and go here. At

19:53

two hours about Waianca Brandon can't sit beside auntie Mary,

19:55

you know. But there's something about

19:58

all heist films. I'll watch

20:00

inside man or Clive on. I

20:02

think that's spikely. Mhmm.

20:04

And if I have if I have to pick a

20:06

specific film to go into the time

20:08

capsule, I think I'll pick

20:10

graffiti. Because my

20:12

wife knew I loved Refi. Do you Are

20:14

you familiar with Refi? No. I'm not

20:16

I didn't know anything about it. She just knew when

20:18

we got together that I love face films and she did

20:21

a a search and kinda it it

20:23

got me the DVD back in the

20:25

day for Christmas. Because

20:27

it's meant to be the quintessential

20:29

ice film. It's French. It's

20:31

black and white. It's the fifties.

20:34

And I suppose it's an hour and a

20:36

half long. And the heist seen in the

20:38

middle of it is thirty two minutes

20:40

and it's silent. They

20:43

don't speak And I don't even think there's any

20:45

I'm trying to remember if there's any internet or

20:47

music. The music? Absolute

20:50

net. You'd have to have to

20:52

put that in a film that only lasts an hour and a half or an hour and forty

20:54

minutes. Yeah. And get away with it. And it's

20:56

brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. And it's

20:58

the one that started the mall,

21:00

you know.

21:00

Yeah. Those ideas that people have for those

21:03

films, do you think well, it's

21:05

probably a good job they're making films because they would

21:07

be master criminals, wouldn't

21:09

they? Yeah. I'll tell you what a guy told

21:11

me once years ago, but I'm not

21:13

gonna name the company, but he used to work

21:15

for an armored car

21:17

company. Right? And he said they used to

21:19

do it. Now I don't know if this is true, but it

21:21

really appeals to my sensibilities.

21:24

They used to test if they've brought out a new

21:27

recruit. And say, you

21:29

needed, say, fifty out of a

21:31

hundred to to be deemed capable

21:33

to be working in the

21:35

armored van division. They

21:37

would give say the ten jobs, they would give

21:39

the ten jobs to the people who got over fifty

21:42

but as close to fifty as possible.

21:45

If you got ninety out of a hundred,

21:47

they didn't give the jobs, the top

21:49

guys, the top girls. They gave it to

21:51

the people who were just doing the job

21:53

because it didn't want. This

21:55

year. So genius. Sitting

21:57

in the armored car with ten million quid

21:59

in the background. Go What

22:01

am I getting paid a year to do this? And

22:03

how much money can I rob from the back

22:05

of this phone? I think there's a floor in

22:07

this system. Yeah. If

22:10

I take out this transponder and put it in

22:12

my microwave for forty minutes and then tie it to

22:14

the back of another fan and all the rest, and

22:17

there's a part to me that well,

22:19

first of all, I would certainly look to

22:21

rice a heist film. Mhmm. I I think

22:23

lots of performers think, yeah, you

22:25

know, there there's you know, you have ebbs and

22:27

flows in your in your and your work

22:29

and you're doing really well and No. I

22:31

don't know anything about that. No. Yeah. No.

22:34

A lot of yeah.

22:36

You don't know a lot from which side. You've never done

22:38

well. Are you? Yeah.

22:40

But, Tom, I'm seeing good job in my

22:42

life. Yeah. I've seen your

22:44

CV. I know you're coming back.

22:46

From from what we would call high status

22:48

in company, rather than lower status.

22:50

I've seen HollyFools and Nurses. I've seen

22:52

the musicals. I do

22:55

think that there's an element to people who

22:57

perform, who go, yeah, I

22:59

drop a bank if there's enough money in it, and

23:01

then I could choose my projects

23:03

after that. And Like, I've got to the point

23:05

where I know how I'd love to the money and stuff from my

23:07

kid. You know what I mean? You have to you have to

23:09

have a cash business. That's the whole thing. You have to

23:11

have a cash business, you know. Yeah.

23:13

And also without a doubt, you've got to

23:15

surround yourself with as few people as

23:17

possible, and you've got to make sure that

23:19

none of them is an idiot because nearly

23:21

everybody who has actually done that

23:23

and it's been caught. It's always been caught by

23:25

something really simple like parking a car and

23:27

getting a parking ticket. Yeah. That's that's what

23:29

I like about the high films is always there's there's

23:31

certain tropes. So the mastermind, they always explain the

23:34

plan. There is always someone like you say

23:36

the eighties. Because the plan goes perfectly

23:38

well and there's no loose cannonball, then, you know,

23:40

you got no film. Yeah. So yeah.

23:42

You have to have in

23:44

your crew who have as much a stick as you and

23:46

you have to have people

23:47

who, like, look, look, look, I'll say the right crew.

23:49

Like, I'm a master couldn't

23:51

hire. People in the crew who

23:53

was who won't flip on you and turn

23:55

state's evidence. And and you

23:57

have to have a cash business afterwards.

23:59

Which, by the way, comedy, life comedy will be

24:01

perfect. That's because that's how you learn under the money.

24:04

Mhmm. Very good.

24:04

You think about it. Right? Yeah. And

24:07

I'll give it

24:07

this way too much thought.

24:09

I once

24:10

here's another one. I once spoke to

24:12

the equivalent of someone who

24:15

worked

24:15

on And it wasn't in this jurisdiction,

24:17

and it wasn't where you are. So I'll just say

24:19

that first of all -- Mhmm. -- and who worked on

24:21

a sort of a crime watch efforts.

24:23

He was a he was a copper. And he once

24:25

told me if you went and robbed

24:27

a bank and didn't

24:30

cases first, he said you get away

24:32

with it. Really? Yeah.

24:34

This is a very good chance to get a move. If you never

24:36

turn it open before, you know, like, if you never

24:38

went and tried to figure it out and how it

24:40

all worked and just just walk

24:42

in. Yeah. Yeah. Give me the money. Walk

24:44

out. Yeah. Because otherwise, he just looked back in

24:46

two weeks and this guy turned up then on the rest. He

24:48

said, very good very good

24:50

chance of That's what I am in any way.

24:52

Or shape or form. Of course saying

24:54

the paper chip rub bags. No. No. No.

24:56

Post offices are more You should.

24:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I should rob banks.

25:00

But I've been very much a robin hood. I

25:03

steal from the banks and give to

25:05

the building societies. But

25:09

a song about Iceland, I don't know. Have

25:11

you ever been in one? No. I've never been in

25:13

one. No. I do love the idea of

25:15

it. I I mean, I've been I played a bank

25:17

manager who was held up by

25:19

Keith Allen. Oh, what? Well,

25:21

you're gonna be held up by anybody. I mean, it

25:23

is the sheriff of Nevada. There's no act to give old,

25:25

who was bloody terrifying. And

25:28

my father was a

25:30

criminal lawyer. So in fact, he was

25:33

involved in lots of armed

25:35

robberies and, you know, defending and

25:37

always defending. The one that

25:39

sticks in my mind is that he was

25:41

involved in the Bank of America robbery.

25:43

Which I the was the biggest robbery,

25:46

by far, it was just huge.

25:48

And in fact, it was one of those robberies

25:51

where they emptied all the safety

25:53

deposit boxes, so nobody had any

25:55

idea how much money had been

25:57

taken. And to a large extent, they got away

25:59

with it. The people at the top got away with it. People

26:01

were arrested and were convicted of

26:03

it. Yeah. Most of the people involved

26:05

just the money disappeared and they have no

26:07

idea where it is. And some of the people

26:09

that my father had defended were

26:11

from the era where I lived out in Kent.

26:13

There's a Pubney of me. I'm not gonna name

26:15

it in case I get in trouble, but there's a Pubney of

26:17

me where we would go in there and it had the most

26:20

expensive carpets. He

26:24

always would say, Bank of

26:26

America money. No way.

26:28

I mean, like, there there

26:30

is still I mean, there is it's

26:32

it's a saccharine view of the world because we

26:35

do We we watch Oceans Eleven, and we

26:37

watch Oceans Eleven, and we love all those things and

26:39

there's something about the camaraderie involved.

26:42

And So they clearly appeal

26:44

to loads loads people, not just

26:46

me. And we also hopefully

26:48

are realized that there's a slight difference

26:50

between the brutal real life

26:52

stealing of money from a bank versus

26:55

the George Clooney and Brad Pitt, looking

26:57

absolutely amazed at trying to do Frank's and actually,

26:59

Martin and Brad's of the route

27:01

back in the nineteen sixties. But I don't

27:03

know why I've always liked that genre of

27:05

film. Do you like them to get away with

27:07

it? Oh, I mean yeah. You do. I mean, the

27:09

whole point is I mean, you have to be quite clever in

27:11

terms of you you pick the bad. Like,

27:13

IIII always like the

27:15

how the the rubbery is

27:17

set up in terms of something about the

27:19

planning, but also they always make the

27:22

themes sympathetic and they

27:24

always make sure that the little people, the

27:26

normal people, like the rest of us, whose

27:28

money is involved, you know, that they don't get

27:30

hammered. And it's always a really

27:33

unsympathetic main character, like, not

27:35

alpacino, Andy Garcia, do

27:37

you mean? Yeah. And it's

27:39

it's funny you say the little things slip you

27:41

up. We covered on the podcast. We

27:43

we did something about Jared

27:44

Macchaser. Who's it was

27:47

a flemish mapmaker. You know

27:49

the map that you had on the wall at

27:51

school --

27:51

Yeah. -- the wall chart. Well, that's essentially

27:54

wrong because there's always an

27:56

issue if you have A3D globe on A2D

27:58

surface. So something has to give

28:00

essentially. So Marketo was in this fifteen hundreds

28:02

and he developed the Mercator projection, which

28:05

allows you to stay in the same compass bearing,

28:07

basically. But what happened

28:09

was certain countries further

28:11

away from the equator are stretched. So you know

28:13

when you looked at that map and you went, oh god,

28:15

Greenland is the same size as Africa. It's nowhere

28:17

near the same size. Right? Right. But anyway,

28:19

because we were talking about Mercator and we were looking

28:21

at Belgium fact, for part one of the

28:23

show. We talked about this diamond heist

28:25

in Antwerp, and they stole millions.

28:27

And like you said, they opened all the

28:29

city deposit boxes, and it They didn't

28:31

know how much was gone at the start. And the

28:33

reason they were able to catch him is a

28:34

guy, and this is so weird, a guy

28:37

was out walking his

28:38

weasel. He was

28:40

walking his weasel on a

28:42

lead. And

28:43

he went I he had a bit of forest

28:45

by the motorway. And instead of getting rid of

28:47

all the stuff properly from the

28:50

robbery, these very distinctive green

28:52

diamonds and stuff. They dumped them on this

28:54

motorway because somebody panicked or they stripped off the

28:56

motorway. And mister Vankamp, I

28:58

think he was, found when he

29:00

was at Walker's wheel on a lead.

29:02

How weird is that? Well, pretty camp.

29:04

Yeah. Yeah. And he rang rang the cops in

29:06

the cops when she's seen what? And the

29:08

founder was seeking the rubbish and the rubbish trays are right back to

29:10

that. Yeah. Yeah. That's how simple it

29:13

is. In the Bank of America rubbery, the

29:15

man who is organizing it

29:17

hid in the force roof above

29:19

the vault for

29:21

something like two weeks.

29:24

He went in he went in there and they thought he'd

29:26

left the bank, but what he'd done is he'd climbed into

29:28

the full ceiling above the

29:30

vault. And he's made a little hole and

29:33

he had a tiny little telescope,

29:35

I think -- Yeah. -- was just watching

29:37

them and writing down the numbers.

29:40

And trying to get the numbers for

29:42

the

29:42

combination. Did he have a

29:45

chemo? Did he have food?

29:47

Yeah. Yeah. He he he he he went up there and

29:49

took everything with him in a bag. I mean, the I

29:51

mean, there's a part of part of me, like,

29:54

just admirers to sheer hotspot

29:56

of that. Mhmm. You know, I'd be very good at

29:58

planning this stuff. I don't know if I'd be able

30:00

to lie above I

30:03

think my stomach could probably give it away. It'd be just

30:06

No. So I don't know why

30:08

that appeals to me so much, but it but it does, you

30:10

know. And prison breaks the same. Is

30:13

it something to do with planning? Is this is

30:15

this? I don't know. No. Do you like

30:17

doing your tax? Oh,

30:19

Christ now. Maybe

30:21

that that's why I wanna rub on

30:23

that body. Go 256 to Brazil. Yes.

30:25

Because I don't I don't like

30:27

doing my text though. I find Find that

30:29

very dull. I suppose if there's if there's

30:31

the chance of this bizarre

30:35

life changing amount money at the end, you

30:37

leave the plan for something. It's something that makes you

30:40

gamble on everything. And I

30:42

suppose, really, robbing your bank is the

30:44

biggest gamble. Is it? Because you

30:46

are basically gambling twenty years of your life.

30:48

Yeah. Whereas doing your tax is

30:50

planning to give your money away.

30:52

So it doesn't quite have the

30:54

same sort of sensors in your

30:57

system? Some

30:57

people might say it's planning to give 256 money away

31:00

and other people might say it's planning to keep

31:02

as much of it as you possibly

31:03

can. Have you had Jimmy Karen the

31:06

podcast? Not

31:10

yet. No. And I'll be oh,

31:12

wow. Well, I I love a high

31:14

smoothie, so I'm definitely gonna put

31:16

the whole genre into a time

31:18

capture for you. That's the second item,

31:20

Neil. Okay. Let's move on to number

31:22

three. There we are. I

31:24

told you Neil would make you laugh. We'll take

31:26

a little pause here for some adverts,

31:28

but we'll be back in no

31:29

time. See you, wouldn't wanna be

31:32

here. Welcome back. Did you

31:34

miss me? Well, do you want to improve your

31:36

aim? Right. Let's return to the stand

31:38

up comedian and TV panelist,

31:40

Neil Gjellamir. And

31:42

find out what else he would like to put

31:44

in his time capsule and the one

31:46

thing he'd like to bury and

31:48

forget.

31:48

I know you're gonna hate

31:50

this because I know you hear people

31:53

putting their dog in, but I'm gonna put a dog

31:55

in. I'm gonna put a composite

31:57

of all the best dogs I've ever had in.

31:59

That's what I'm saying. Because my

32:01

wife kind of fosters dogs.

32:03

So if we what we both do,

32:05

but she kinda started it. So if a dog

32:07

needs to kinda stay

32:09

with those for a couple of weeks while its

32:11

owners away or if they're in

32:13

between kind of being

32:15

rescued and going to their forever

32:17

homes that we say, we would mind him and have

32:19

done for for a couple of years. So we've had a good

32:21

few dogs throughout the house. So the

32:23

current one, I think, I put her on the time

32:25

capsule. Obviously, as

32:27

long as she is happy in there. So she's a

32:29

three legged literature called Lola.

32:32

And she is Like,

32:34

I mean, this is a kind of a quite an antisocial job

32:36

I have in some ways. So you you get home

32:38

from a gig and, you know, it could be one o'clock or two

32:40

o'clock in the morning. to have

32:42

that welcome that this this three legged

32:45

beast is sitting on the couch waiting for you to have

32:47

a cup of tea and talk to her and play with her

32:49

and and walk her and look at the foxes.

32:51

Is remarkable. And because she's got three

32:54

legs, she's led me into all sorts of

32:56

bizarre scenarios. So I go to the

32:58

local dog park with her and then

33:00

when I go down, there's all these people. I don't know if you've if you've ever

33:02

had dogs. You've bring dogs to dog park. All the

33:04

people in the dog park insist

33:06

unless you know how much they know about

33:09

dogs. They just have to. So they're all like,

33:11

oh my god. I love your dog. I love your

33:13

dog. It's a it's a Belgian Shepherd.

33:15

Isn't it? It's a a lot of people think it was a German Shepherd,

33:17

but I know it's a Belgian Shepherd. Because I

33:19

heard a bark earlier, and that's definitely it,

33:21

Belgian accent. So It rode its

33:23

halls. Yeah. It ruined its halls. I think it's

33:25

Raffa. It's Raffa. I know

33:27

it's Raffa. So I should open

33:29

her. And because some of these people wrack

33:31

my head, I deliberately pretend to know

33:33

nothing about dogs, like to the extent that I

33:35

don't realize she should have four

33:37

legs. And this

33:39

drives them absolutely

33:42

bananas, Mike. It's hilarious to watch. They'll

33:44

be like, oh my

33:44

god. What's wrong with your target? Like, what are you

33:47

talking about? Like, that's all we do to us. There you

33:49

go. It is hairy,

33:50

isn't it? Yeah. I know. Yeah. I mean, we should get

33:52

her clipped already. Yeah. But she's

33:55

like, Well, she should have two foot legs.

33:57

I don't know. Yeah. Two foot

33:59

legs. Go on up. That's spider

34:02

spider dog. What are you talking about? And then I

34:04

look around and go, oh, gosh. Yes. She should.

34:06

1234I

34:08

just thought she was

34:10

like a hatchback or something. I just thought we

34:12

got, like, an entry level dog, but maybe maybe she

34:14

should. And

34:16

I've it's a weird thing of when you have

34:18

a three legged dog, people trust you

34:22

like if you were a a murder of psychopath, I would suggest you get a

34:24

three legged dog because people look at you and

34:26

they think that you're a lovely person because you have a

34:28

three legged dog and you're minding a three

34:30

legged dog. And you where

34:32

you could be some sort of killer, you know? You

34:34

could be the person who took the

34:36

leg. Yeah. Yeah. You could be. So sometimes people people

34:38

do a lot of always ask. How she lost leg. So I've

34:40

I've started to make stuff up at this point. Oh,

34:42

you've not started to say, well, maybe I

34:44

beat her a bit too hard. I

34:47

haven't

34:47

gone that far yet. So I I have

34:50

I've said landmine once to

34:51

somebody else, and then I just

34:53

walked away. Huge about the landmine used to

34:55

belong to princess Diana. Yeah.

34:57

She did a lot of work in in

35:00

Cambodia. She did

35:00

a lot of work in Vietnam. I

35:02

mean, she's she's just brave. I

35:04

walked her the other day and just

35:07

genuinely happened to walk her on the corner and a man walked her on the corner and

35:09

he had one leg and he was unconscious. And

35:11

he saw my dog

35:14

And my dogs saw him, and he looked at me, and I didn't see anything. And he went,

35:16

whoa, snap. And then he just walked away

35:18

again. That's like, whoa. I

35:21

do adore dogs.

35:24

For many reasons. And when we got her first,

35:26

I have to tell you, we got her first. And I

35:28

I went out for a gig and I

35:30

forgot about it. And what

35:33

we came home for lunch, I should say. Right? But stuff my wife lunch became home for lunch,

35:35

and those are kind of weird smell in the

35:37

in the kitchen and sitting when they got got a musty

35:39

smell, and we thought she's new

35:41

to the house. She's had a wee. She's

35:43

just frying her way around. Looked around, got firefighting. I went out to a

35:45

gig and forgot. Go back that night. My wife

35:47

had got out and she purchased an

35:50

ultraviolet lamp. And

35:52

was scan in the kitchen and sitting room floor, like a

35:55

CSI forensic detective,

35:58

like Dexter, looking for for

36:00

a week. And I I I'm starting to laugh at

36:02

her a little bit. Not much.

36:04

No. Not much. And

36:06

I'm also kinda secretly relieved that

36:08

my own mother never had access to that when

36:10

I was a teenager. That sort of level of

36:13

analytical tool. Mhmm. And so she's looking around and

36:15

I said did you find anything? She said, no. I didn't

36:17

find anything. And I said, okay. Well, maybe she hasn't

36:19

weighed inside. Mhmm. And she goes no, I

36:21

think maybe she has and we can't find it.

36:23

Maybe the lamp doesn't

36:26

work. And I yeah. You could see where this is going. And I, in my

36:28

naive, he did not know where this is going. Like,

36:30

an idiot. And I said, well, what you want to do? She

36:32

goes, 256 have to test the lamp. And

36:34

I said, okay. Still not dawning on me. What was gonna happen? And she

36:36

looked to me. And my wife, of many years, who

36:38

I adore, who was the best thing that ever happened

36:40

to me, looked to me. And I quote

36:44

said, have a pen and a floss somewhere, and I'll see if I can

36:47

find 256. But

36:49

don't tell me where.

36:52

So yeah. I'd I'd had a lovely

36:54

gig and I'm suddenly

36:55

involved, some sort of urinary based

36:57

treasure hunt. I would look

37:00

around my

37:00

I'd be like up that weed on the floor. It's not

37:03

weather sports. What do you

37:05

expect from me? So I I refused

37:07

to do that. But

37:10

I did I did kinda meet her halfway shall we

37:11

say. I went I went off to the 256 Lou

37:14

and gave

37:15

a sample there and with

37:18

her favorite mug. And, yeah, the

37:20

Lambda's work. Does it does. Okay. Good.

37:22

Instead of the way people, some

37:26

people become absolutely indifferent to

37:28

the smells of their dog. Yeah. I was

37:30

psyched the fact that when my daughter

37:32

and her husband bought their

37:34

first house, we went into

37:36

it and said, it's a

37:38

bit. And a smell

37:40

was a

37:41

smell. And eventually, the

37:44

living room was tiled, but it was tiled

37:46

directly onto floorboards, which

37:48

meant that it had moved. And I

37:50

said to them, did

37:52

these people

37:53

the people owned it before did they have a dog? Yeah. They went,

37:55

yeah, they're two great big dogs. And I said, right.

37:57

Did they leave them there during the day? Said,

37:59

yeah. I said, it's urine.

38:02

been weighing on the floor. Yeah. The people have

38:04

come home and it soaked through and

38:06

we lifted the tiles.

38:08

Neil, the floorboards were

38:10

absolutely sudden. No

38:12

way. Yeah. You could ring them

38:14

out almost. Oh, god. It was the

38:16

most disgusting thing. I'd

38:19

spent days pulling urine soaked wood out of this

38:21

thing. It was horrible. The things we do

38:24

for our family that we wouldn't do for any of you.

38:26

Yeah. Yeah. I do think

38:28

sir, I think certain dog breeds

38:30

certainly suit certain people. So lurchers

38:32

are great because they're quite lazy and stuff, you

38:34

know. And I I don't think I'd ever have

38:36

I quite like a stupid dog. I've had really stupid dogs.

38:38

I quite like them. I'd never have a colleague because

38:41

they are working dogs.

38:43

Yeah. You know? I also, you

38:45

never see a collie as a guide dog because I just think,

38:47

like, they just slip out with the

38:50

harness and

38:52

be like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a possible one. Jonathan, I did I

38:54

did some guiding this morning for good

38:56

evening. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm done. That that

38:58

heartway or a car for you.

39:01

I was watching I was watching a program called

39:03

The Wanderer of Dogs and it was one of the tests

39:05

was they they put a towel on the

39:07

Dogs head and how quickly Chuck the towel off was a

39:09

measure of its intelligence. Right. And they got a poodle and they did it

39:11

in three or four seconds, and they got an appreciation

39:14

that they did

39:16

it in like nine or ten

39:17

towel on a Carly, and he

39:20

just folded it into shape of

39:22

a swan.

39:23

That. I'm slightly exaggerating.

39:26

But that is the level of intelligence

39:28

that they have. And I just think

39:30

you you know,

39:31

Yeah. Unless

39:32

that dog is working all the time and

39:34

is rounding up sheep and is doing something.

39:36

You know, I don't you shouldn't have

39:38

it like that. So you should kinda be aware that sort stuff. But No. it's nice to

39:40

have a dog that when you look at it, he goes, what?

39:42

What? Yeah. Who is going on? What

39:44

is going on? I when my last

39:47

guy passed away. I don't really have many insurances.

39:50

My wife loves her insurance. And

39:52

I think the reason is because I

39:54

married above myself.

39:56

Yeah. And So I look at her and

39:58

think nothing will go wrong. And she looks

40:00

at me and thinks, give me all the

40:02

insurances. Look at this

40:04

idiot. And the dog passed away and she

40:06

said ring the vest. Sorry, really insurance

40:08

company because they might cover the

40:10

that bill, that's what insurance is for. And I rang

40:12

up this woman, and I said, listen, the dog is no

40:14

longer with Kinda covered the last bill. And she said,

40:17

no. It's under the excess and the policy. And I

40:19

said, no problem. Can we go ahead and cancel the

40:21

policy? And she said, Absolutely. But

40:23

can I ask why you want to cancel the policy? Thanks.

40:28

And we I

40:30

don't know about you, but I think

40:32

it's overly cautious to continue to to ensure a

40:34

dog that that had died. What

40:39

do you want to do with you a private room in heaven or something like

40:41

what do you want? It does seem like a fairly fairly optimistic

40:43

to do. And I

40:46

I just I just said to this woman,

40:48

and she was she was lovely. And I just said, well, as I said, the dogs are

40:50

longer with us. And she said,

40:54

She said did he die or did he run away? Because if he ran away, we

40:56

covered us. And

40:57

I was like, was

40:59

there any run away? Yes. do

41:02

I do think? And we went through this whole

41:04

conversation of the phone, like, why did

41:06

he run away? And I was like, I could

41:09

read his dose. I don't know, but, you

41:11

know, put down put down fireworks

41:13

or something. And she was

41:15

like, oh, well, we don't normally

41:17

have fireworks in May. I

41:18

was like, what? I'm pretending. Yeah. They

41:20

came as a shock to the dog.

41:22

That's why he ran away as well,

41:25

you know. So but they have

41:27

given me untold joy and I can't envisage a time in

41:29

the future where I wouldn't want a dog. Assuming

41:32

that my lifestyle seems so isolated and I'm here

41:34

and all I

41:36

wouldn't like the leads and front end length of science. So Yeah. So definitely my

41:38

my third item if you will allow it for

41:40

me because I know it's an obvious thing to

41:42

say. I will do. I want to know

41:44

256 know I've complained about it

41:47

before and saying people pick It's

41:49

all imaginative, that's why. Don't know. It's not.

41:51

You pick the thing that means

41:53

the most to you. And actually, always when

41:55

people pick a pet, the reason

41:57

is different. They tell a different story.

41:59

And I have great sympathy for you as well

42:01

because my parents so at

42:03

the tree legged dog. No way.

42:06

Yeah. I was very fond of it. When I

42:07

got the dog, my cousin said to me, so we

42:10

her front

42:10

right leg was gone before we got her. I think it was skyrocket.

42:13

And my my cousin said to me, it's a shame to vet

42:15

it and remove her back leg

42:18

instead. And I was like, you know

42:20

they tend to remove the injured leg.

42:22

Don't you?

42:23

Like, this wasn't a punishment

42:26

facing her. So, like, what do you think she'd

42:28

steal something in in

42:30

some countries?

42:30

While you've got your dog in here, do you fancy we could, you know, take

42:32

a leg off or something? Yeah. Oh, that's a yeah.

42:35

Go. Yeah. Go. Why not? Just

42:37

like the the there's no point in a heist film where

42:39

the dog is on on a chair. Go. We

42:42

can do this the easy way or the hard

42:44

way. Who robbed the Bank

42:46

of America and the dogs are like, I'm saying nothing and then

42:48

so I thought that was a

42:50

bit of a weird one. I wonder I wonder could

42:52

something be done. A friend of mine said to

42:55

me, I could three d print a leg

42:57

for your dog. Right.

43:00

Yeah. And I was like, I'm not

43:02

sure. I've seen dogs with wheels.

43:06

Yeah. I suppose you I have to ask the question all

43:08

the time. So what what quality of life as

43:10

any pet got? That's what you want. And

43:12

you also want when it

43:14

comes to a point where you have a cat or a dog, right,

43:16

sort of pet, I always think how much

43:18

cracker they haven't. Are they enjoying themselves? Yeah. And

43:20

if they're not enjoying themselves, well then, it's

43:22

time to to say a good look. And I always find that vets obviously have be

43:24

quite careful. I remember when my last

43:26

dog, he got sick and it was quite

43:28

evident towards the

43:30

end. Like, this is the time that have to say remember

43:32

the vets saying I said, listen is is today at

43:34

the time. And they were quite non committal because

43:36

they have to be. And

43:38

she's like, well, you'll you'll know you'll know the right

43:41

time. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. But is

43:43

this the right time? And she's

43:45

like, well, you know the right

43:47

time. Mhmm. You can see the dog getting bored itself

43:50

as soon as night. I'm away.

43:52

I'm away. Like, just do do

43:54

the job, you know. I'd buzz you at the right

43:56

time. Anup was. Yeah. That that

43:58

was in great form 256 then one day

44:00

he didn't want to eat and he didn't want to

44:02

walk. I brought him for a

44:04

little walk. And he and he loved walks at the Old Dew, and he

44:06

turned around after about five

44:08

yards and he meant, now he's

44:10

this is his. No. Segua. We Segua

44:14

bye. And my wife said, I want him to

44:16

be buried on my

44:18

dad's a bit of my dad's land because

44:20

I want to know where he is.

44:22

And oh,

44:24

I was was in ribbons at that point. I was absolutely in

44:26

ribbons. I was reminded of my first

44:28

dog who I know a dog can't be a

44:30

legend, but the dog was an absolute legend.

44:32

In the

44:34

nineteen eighties, in rural Ireland. What kind of rural Ireland? What you would consider

44:36

rural Ireland. We would consider ourselves townies,

44:38

apparently. We could phone call about get

44:40

out one

44:42

day. At from the backyard, and he went around

44:44

and we got a phone call from one of the neighbors,

44:46

the one of the farmers, and he went, do you have

44:48

a black laborer? And I said, yes.

44:50

Was only about nine. I said yes. And he just was a pose. And he

44:52

said, well, he rode our bitch and

44:55

then he ate her dinner.

44:59

And the dog came home,

45:02

slightly nipping because I assume he'd been high

45:04

fiving all the other dogs, all the

45:06

way into

45:08

house. And he he just sat in front of

45:10

it in front of the fire licking

45:12

himself like lads, I have a

45:14

taught legend. Brilliant.

45:18

Yeah. And that dog as

45:20

a result goes on and right now

45:22

lives out into memory.

45:25

Yeah. Brilliant. Fantastic. Okay. We'll put that into

45:27

the time, Cashew. A dog that is

45:29

all your dogs. Oh my dogs. Composite

45:31

them all, the best breath of all

45:33

my dogs. Yeah. Wonderful. Okay. So we've got two

45:35

left Neil. We've got one that you want to keep

45:37

and one that you want to put in there because you'd like to

45:40

forget it. 256 thing

45:42

I'd like to keep is, I don't know

45:44

if I should go for a moment or the

45:47

moment, and it's I've

45:49

done apparently shows for sixteen

45:51

or seventeen years. Now, I've done I got

45:53

my start in Wound with Dara

45:56

O'Brien on RT television,

45:58

Dara O'Brien and Andrew Max well, people will know Ed

46:00

Byrne and -- Yeah. -- Karl Murphy. And

46:02

I've done one in BBC in Belfast

46:04

for fifteen to sixteen years with

46:07

color murphy and cigar in the dress. Mhmm. And there is a

46:09

moment in pound shows, and I'm not talking about the

46:12

ones that are very tightly scripted

46:14

and the ones that

46:16

are very competitive. You know? Mhmm. I'm talking about the moment of

46:18

a panel show where there's probably two people each side

46:20

and 256 person in the middle where

46:22

it starts to

46:24

spin off. Where it

46:26

starts to spin around the houses. QI

46:28

is a great example of this. Indeed.

46:30

You know, Sandy Tuxbeck

46:32

says something Alan Davis brings it

46:34

somewhere kind of ridiculous with the mine

46:37

and then Ramesh or Susan common

46:39

or whatever kind of top stuff.

46:41

This moment where it spirals out at an audience,

46:43

a new note for being a member of an audience

46:45

and also performer to many, many

46:47

audiences. Audiences are really remarked and

46:50

remarkably bright. In a in an on thinking

46:52

way. You know what I mean? We we as audience

46:54

members know when something is happening

46:56

in the room as we watch it. Yeah. It's not

46:59

scripted. And that moment where we all

47:01

know this can go anywhere.

47:04

It's absolute gold. It's better than any one

47:06

liner. It's better than any pre

47:10

prepared thing. It's the

47:12

thing that people love in

47:14

outics. Mhmm. And I think

47:16

it's absolutely

47:18

glorious. There's nothing I enjoy more being involved in

47:20

or seeing. And it's why I love

47:22

panel shows still. I do panel shows

47:26

to people who there's first of all, there's a room to develop an

47:28

idea. And second of all, I don't know what

47:30

they're gonna say. I have no idea what they're

47:32

gonna say. 256 they make me

47:34

laugh as much as they're making an audience. Yes,

47:36

ma'am. I love watching

47:38

it when that happens. When somebody

47:41

said something and another panelist will come back with a line

47:43

and you just see everybody's

47:46

brain

47:46

spark. Yeah. And they they know

47:48

we have hit a vein here. This

47:52

is absolute this is platinum. We're gonna go through this. It's gonna be

47:53

gorgeous. And you don't know you can do it yourself

47:56

when did you do a pound show? I I

47:58

remember the first time I ever did a

48:00

pound show, was was was

48:02

this woman who's called the panel and it was

48:04

an Australian format and Dara

48:06

had presented the first season

48:08

of in two thousand and three, and I

48:10

was just watching it. My brother said to me, God,

48:12

he should try and do that. And I was like, nah. When am I

48:14

gonna do that? And it was on at the next year, and

48:16

I sat there and I looked across the table. And I've

48:18

been doing stand up three years or

48:20

something. Mhmm. And between Ed Byrne

48:22

and Colin and Maxwell

48:24

and O'Breen, there was

48:26

probably forty years' experience. I don't

48:28

mean to and I was sitting there going Jesus.

48:32

Jesus. Now a lot of people freeze in that

48:34

situation, and you see them do 256, you know,

48:36

it's people you know are very,

48:38

very funny. They just -- Yeah. -- they they just become overwhelmed by it.

48:40

Yeah. And and and the good thing about

48:42

lately in in the last few years is that

48:44

there's there's a

48:46

democratization of access, which

48:48

I think is amazing. So you you might be

48:50

someone who's brilliant at balance shows, but you might

48:52

be someone who hates balance shows and hates that

48:54

sort of way of delivering material. may

48:56

be brilliant at sketches. Now suddenly through YouTube and Twitter and Instagram, there

48:58

is a method for you to deliver your type

49:01

of stuff to the masses. 256

49:03

you don't have to go through this kind of gray series with gatekeeper

49:06

who goes, that's acceptable and

49:08

that is not acceptable. But if

49:10

you like

49:12

panel and you do your first talent show and your own

49:14

show, and then you get caught in one

49:16

of these things and you contribute.

49:18

It's this amazing

49:20

moment -- Mhmm. -- of there's

49:22

a moment when we had this quite well

49:24

esteemed guest, and I was about twenty four, twenty

49:26

five. So you're kinda getting away with

49:29

things that you'd you know, because you're kind of young and naive. And

49:31

there's a woman on, and she's just very well

49:33

respected journalist, and she would present the equivalent

49:35

abuse night as well, and she

49:37

has aged She goes, oh, I have eight children.

49:40

And I was like, jeez. And it was

49:42

true. I

49:42

said, you've been pregnant longer than my Northland's born.

49:45

And it was just off the top

49:47

of

49:47

my head and she roared laughing

49:50

because you're sweet and innocent and

49:52

there's there's there's nothing There's no side to

49:54

that, and it's true. And

49:56

I remember this fizz

49:58

going through me going Jesus,

50:00

I've just come up and stuff and stuff

50:02

my head on this banner show and oh my, maybe maybe I should keep doing this. Maybe

50:04

don't allow me to keep doing this. Oh my

50:06

256. And

50:08

I couldn't remember the feeling still, Mike. Yeah.

50:10

I bet. You do remember those moments.

50:12

You remember the moments where you something comes straight

50:14

into your head and it's good enough.

50:18

And well written enough that you just say it out.

50:20

I I had that in a pantomime once.

50:22

I said, who's come the furthest? Somebody said,

50:24

USA. I said, well, all the way from

50:26

America. Wow. That's, of course,

50:28

you know about Patwan. There you call

50:30

it a presidential election.

50:34

And I've said it before I'd even

50:36

thought it. It's weird,

50:38

isn't it? Because sometimes you say those things and

50:40

they don't land. Yeah. So that's just that's still

50:42

a great joy of these shows. I mean,

50:44

the longer you go on, the more you think it will land, but

50:47

you're still not fully sure.

50:49

You're still here. The still

50:51

ten percent of them have died in your head gone. There's there's

50:53

there's enough doubt here for this to be still

50:55

exciting. Yeah.

50:56

I always think that if it's pretentious,

50:58

I do think it's pretentious to

51:00

call stand up art form in some ways. What I think it

51:02

is when it's done very, very, very well.

51:05

But it strikes me that it is

51:07

the art form that the audience

51:09

impacts the most. So when Michelangelo is creating David, because if

51:11

you're gonna be pretentious, you might as well be massively

51:14

pretentious. I can appear what you do

51:16

to the greatest proponent of art in the

51:18

history of you about it.

51:20

my point is I suppose is he when he

51:22

created David, he didn't do a piece of

51:24

us, show up to an audience and go,

51:26

what do you think? And then do another

51:28

best. No. And when

51:30

Jez Butlerworth wrote Jerusalem, I

51:32

don't think he wrote it and then test

51:34

it. Whereas we do this thing where do

51:36

know. And go do you like this? And the

51:38

audience goes, yeah. And then they got

51:40

partnered. I really like the

51:42

other bit. So the

51:44

audience creates it with us, and we get

51:46

better at at creating shows and

51:48

stuff, but you never really know what bid is going to be the

51:50

funniest bid. And I kinda love loved that bit. And the reason

51:52

I love talent shows as well is because they're

51:54

the closest thing to stand up on

51:56

TV. Do you know what I mean? You know

51:58

where you're doing that? In a panel show. You're you're creating

52:01

an app. Yeah. III mean,

52:03

there was a bit where we had

52:05

a guest host for one of our panel

52:07

shows. And all he did was

52:09

just somebody was saying something to to in his

52:11

ear. Mhmm. And there was a pause in

52:13

proceedings, and we just went,

52:15

hey, Jerry. Jerry, And for the

52:17

next I mean, it was like, Jerry, you're

52:20

doing it. You're doing the TV show,

52:22

Jerry. They're playing bridge in the day

52:24

room for at the moment, you need she'd need

52:26

to con on this. The nurse didn't come and get you. I gave you your

52:28

tablets, and everybody just jumped on

52:30

this. And he's he's so I think a lot

52:32

about a

52:34

lot of this is about people being confident in their positions.

52:36

So he he Jerry Kelly is such a an

52:38

expert broadcaster that he was able to

52:40

sit in and relax into it.

52:42

And I think, again, to come back to QI because Alan and Sandy at

52:45

the moment know that they're the regulators.

52:47

I don't have to fight for their

52:49

position in lots of ways. Like,

52:52

I've done a balance show for so long that and,

52:54

you know, I'm on it every week that

52:56

we are kind of prepared to go

52:59

If you have an idea off, you go -- Yes.

53:01

-- off, you go. Take the heels off the lads if

53:03

you're doing it for too long. Yeah. You know what I mean?

53:05

And you give people the space. You give

53:07

people the space and the time. So it's very easy for example. If you started

53:10

telling a funny story and

53:12

I anticipated

53:14

your punchline it would be easy for

53:16

me to nicked it. Yeah. And I suppose

53:18

there's there's an element of if you do

53:20

stuff with people a lot, you

53:22

can learn their rhythms. It's like a it's

53:24

like a midfield. You know, rice is

53:26

now beginning to learn how Bellingham plays and

53:28

Bellingham knows how Henderson plays and, you know, there's an

53:30

element that that to it. And after a while

53:32

doing shows of people.

53:34

You can hear in their voice, they are

53:36

building towards something. You know they're improvising

53:38

it, and you know they're building towards

53:40

something themselves. And you just learn to sit back and go, well, we'll see where we

53:42

can come in here. So I do

53:44

love that moment when

53:47

the car is slightly spinning out of control. Nobody knows where it's

53:49

going to go. It's the most exciting part of those

53:52

shows, you know? Yeah. An

53:54

enormous drill. It's what the

53:56

audience is love the most as well. So

53:58

you're right that an audience is

54:00

always far more intelligent than people

54:02

give it credit for. We know

54:04

when something is really magic, and we know

54:06

when something is in a way

54:08

formulaic or has

54:10

been preorganized. We we understand that, which is why the moments that you

54:12

really treasure, as you do, are

54:14

the moments where people

54:16

just rip and

54:18

amazing things happen. Same thing that happens in live gigs as well. It's a

54:20

and it's a thing that people come up to you afterwards and

54:22

say, they they they don't say, oh, it was not to show

54:25

where you told that joke about x. They

54:27

do say I was at the show where the thing happened

54:29

with the audience member. I was at the

54:32

show where I remember we

54:34

had a guy

54:36

who wants people ask you what's the weirdest thing that you've Has it ever gone wrong when you talk

54:38

to an audience member? There's a lovely man in the

54:40

front row with his two teenage sons.

54:42

Right? And

54:44

he had he had a good see his left arm and his right arm was

54:46

was under his shirt and it was a bump there. So he

54:48

it was obviously in a sling of some sort. Right. You

54:52

know? And I said 256 because I thought it was in the sling. I said, oh, do you mind if I ask

54:54

you what happened to your arm? And what he did is

54:56

he flattened down his

54:58

shirt and he

55:00

didn't have a second arrow. And everything went very

55:02

quiet and I I

55:04

didn't see anything because I had just said, do you mind if I

55:06

ask what happened to

55:08

you around? And he then said, land mine and it went

55:10

really, really, really quiet.

55:12

And then his teenage son

55:14

just went. No. It

55:16

wasn't like this. I

55:18

mean, dissipated

55:20

all tension. And now you have

55:22

to go he's gotten me out with this situation. I'm I don't wanna

55:25

know what happened because I'm not getting back into this situation.

55:27

That young man has gotten me out

55:29

with thank God. And you might

55:31

the guy came up to me afterwards and he actually explained the origin of it

55:33

and it was very sad what had happened. And he said I didn't

55:35

want to tell you that because I thought it would drag down

55:37

the gig. But I suppose you were

55:39

getting people for the entirety of the admission festival

55:41

coming up after saying, I was at the gig where

55:43

that happened. Because the new who didn't happen at

55:46

any of the gig and the new that was special.

55:48

And I think that's where I love the the

55:50

special nonplanned moment. Yeah.

55:52

The joy of live performing. That goes

55:54

into the time capsule. What a

55:56

gorgeous thing. Okay. So we've got one thing, the thing you want to put in there

55:58

and you won't have to worry about it again. I shall

56:00

bury it. Okay.

56:02

Okay. Well, I

56:04

talked about festivals where I have loved things. There was a moment that was

56:06

one of the weirdest gigs I think I've ever done,

56:08

and it was one of those late night

56:12

shows. And I'm talking, you know, two o'clock in the morning. And I you're doing

56:14

it because it's just a rite of passage and you just

56:16

have to do it. And you to 256, you

56:18

survived this. And I did this.

56:21

Many years ago and I had

56:23

done the show, you know, you're doing

56:25

ten minutes, but it starts at one AM or

56:27

two AM, you know,

56:30

and it's It's doable to earlier in the week. And then I do it

56:32

later on the week, and I get a little bit cocky mic.

56:34

And I start talking to the audience,

56:36

which was a mistake, because I didn't

56:38

have the

56:40

experience to handle what was going to happen. So I kinda started

56:42

to lose them and then it was a pause

56:44

and a guy shouted, get your

56:48

balls out. Right? Yes. Now,

56:50

I I said, I

56:52

get them out if you get

56:56

yourselves. Under the misapprehension that a man

56:58

who was that drunk at that

57:00

hour of the night wouldn't get

57:03

his testicles out. Well,

57:06

I hadn't even finished the sentence. I

57:09

get her out. If

57:11

you get your results, While

57:14

he had them in his hand, I'm

57:16

beginning to dig, he had prepped them, and they

57:18

had been out anyway, to be honest with

57:20

you. And he mounted

57:22

the stage coupping his

57:25

own escrowism. With a

57:27

dexterity that was admirable actually because he

57:29

only had one hand free and he was

57:31

very drunk and he jumped on

57:33

to the after the stage of the plan. Right. Actually, that's a

57:36

counterbalance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He swelled about to

57:38

his rice

57:40

and uses left hand as a as a balance.

57:42

And he just kind of appeared there

57:44

as if to say it 256

57:48

A late night audience will forgive Betty things, but

57:50

they will not forgive a broken promise. So

57:53

I didn't I didn't get

57:55

my notes. I

57:58

I didn't. And I think had I gotten the mouse. I've

58:00

thought about this. Not a great detail,

58:02

but I just cross my end of the interview

58:05

to use. Wouldn't it have been

58:08

okay? But I went, well, I'm not getting. There's no way I'm doing that.

58:10

It's insane. And I didn't.

58:13

And therefore, the

58:16

next ten minutes of

58:18

the gig were Havoc. Absolute

58:20

Havoc. As I just

58:22

continue to do jokes, So

58:25

I'm like, I'm not doing stand up that long. Right?

58:27

Yeah. There's a man back in the audience

58:29

really annoyed that he's gotten his test kits out and

58:31

he had fulfilled his part of the conch

58:33

track, this verbal contract. Whereas I am on

58:36

stage just doing jokes like this thing had

58:38

never happened. Like this this

58:40

thing that two hundred people

58:42

have witnessed People sit there, God. Are you not gonna address the elephant

58:44

in the room that you have not done

58:46

what you promised? But there's

58:48

a selection of people at the front who

58:50

are just generally

58:52

listen to what I'm saying and like me because

58:54

they cannot they cannot

58:56

understand what has happened and cannot

58:59

fault my bravery. But the rest of the audience,

59:01

and I'm talking four fifths. Hate me.

59:04

Like, hates me. With an

59:06

absolute passion. And I know

59:08

that that was perfectly acceptable. I could've just

59:10

kind of finished a bit early. Those gigs

59:12

are kind of deliberately mad.

59:15

You know. Mhmm. And I remember walking up

59:17

the stage. Haven't done the time. Like, it

59:19

was twenty minutes. No. And it

59:21

was ten minutes of eighty percent of the

59:23

people dislike it and a path to come back. And he looked at me with Jesus, very bloody. I

59:25

mean, I would have gotten off. And I was

59:27

like, no. I needed the money. This

59:29

is I

59:32

was contract le obliged to do this.

59:34

So I think I'll put that in,

59:36

not because of what he did, but because what

59:38

I failed to 256. I

59:40

should've built up to something

59:42

and maybe gotten them out but but kind

59:44

of hidden them so it's not an offense.

59:46

Yeah. But you have a way to

59:48

do it. Know. Find 256 clever way to

59:50

do it under pressure. Take them

59:51

out and take a photograph of them. Yeah. I'll put

59:54

it on Instagram and then put a

59:56

photograph of an elephant's jesicles. Was

59:58

that challenging? Oh, there might

1:00:01

have there might have been actually.

1:00:03

There probably was I

1:00:05

would have been leading it. Yeah. Yeah. Or if I

1:00:07

was an audience member, I would have been leading it as well. I mean,

1:00:09

I should have just dismissed this or

1:00:11

I should have looked it back. I

1:00:13

should have absolutely just figured

1:00:15

out a clever way to do it. Really built up to the

1:00:18

256, or built up to getting them

1:00:20

getting them out at the very end, and

1:00:22

then knocked out the mountain, gotten off.

1:00:24

That would have been fine. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do whatever

1:00:27

you do, don't make the promise in the middle of the

1:00:29

game. I did not do But

1:00:31

we never learned, and I was about twenty two

1:00:34

at the time. I didn't know what I mean. You know?

1:00:36

I'd have you somewhere in your brain

1:00:38

set there in thought of a clever reposs for

1:00:40

somebody who says, get your bollocks

1:00:42

out. Now I or

1:00:44

every time I go on stage, I have fair testicles

1:00:46

on. I am I

1:00:48

I wear them as a batter, of

1:00:51

course. I had them specially molded and on

1:00:54

the off chance that if this ever

1:00:56

happens again, they are

1:00:58

presentable. They they

1:01:00

are amazing. And if it ever happens

1:01:01

again, boom. I have a quick release fly. In fact,

1:01:04

in

1:01:04

fact, if I can ever hunt

1:01:05

that man down

1:01:08

again and engineering to talk to Ask me again. Go

1:01:09

on. Ask me again. Ask me

1:01:12

again.

1:01:13

Like some sort a

1:01:15

program with Deveen in the call. This time

1:01:18

next year, I'm gonna find this man and

1:01:20

put this ghost to

1:01:22

rest. No. I haven't

1:01:24

I haven't. Thought about. I I haven't thought about what I would do now, I

1:01:26

do know that I've done done it long enough

1:01:28

to embrace the madness. Yes.

1:01:31

Maybe I see you've already got bullocks out able

1:01:33

to talk. Yeah.

1:01:36

I will sit and spend

1:01:38

an afternoon writing my rapast

1:01:41

Yes. A list of them. Oh,

1:01:44

fantastic. Neil, are we touching

1:01:46

that cake?

1:01:48

What a great time we've had talking to you.

1:01:50

Thank you so much. It's really nice to meet you,

1:01:52

and and I I love yourself. I

1:01:54

watch it on

1:01:55

Instagram, watch it on on YouTube, and

1:01:57

I I think you're a really really funny man. So Well, thank you very much.

1:01:59

It's been a

1:02:00

pleasure to talk to you as well.

1:02:03

You have

1:02:06

been this to my time capsule. With

1:02:08

me, Mike Fenton Stevens and my

1:02:10

guest, Neil

1:02:12

Delamere. urge you search him out on

1:02:14

tour before he starts playing massive venues and

1:02:16

you can't get anywhere near him. And

1:02:18

now before you leave us and

1:02:20

get on with your life, I'd be

1:02:23

very grateful if you would rape the show and maybe even write a

1:02:25

little review saying how much fun you've had.

1:02:27

If you've had a shit

1:02:29

time, ignore me. If you

1:02:32

click subscribe, we'll make sure you get

1:02:34

every episode as it's released

1:02:36

straight into your podcast tab to listen to

1:02:38

at your convenience, of course. And if you follow

1:02:40

me and my time gaps you on Twitter,

1:02:42

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1:02:44

see what we're up to and who we have

1:02:47

coming up. musical listener amongst you, of which

1:02:49

I'm sure there are many, you can download

1:02:51

and listen to the theme tune this

1:02:54

podcast if you

1:02:56

search for my time capsule theme tune. I'll say that

1:02:58

again because it's complicated. My

1:03:00

time capsule theme tune.

1:03:02

Anyway, it's on

1:03:04

Spotify, whereas This production

1:03:06

was made by cast off productions

1:03:08

for the Podcast distributor, Acast, and

1:03:10

it was produced by John Fenton

1:03:14

Stevens. Right? I'm 256 to listen to

1:03:16

Neil's podcast. Why would you tell me that? Well, I've heard of

1:03:18

mine, so I might as well. It's good,

1:03:20

you know.

1:03:22

They discuss extraordinary facts offered with experts

1:03:24

like Susie Dent, Balika. Although,

1:03:26

so far, they haven't answered

1:03:29

the Michael Quest as far as I'm

1:03:32

out of a plane, nobody shouts. And

1:03:34

if people from Poland to call

1:03:36

Poland, well, people

1:03:38

from Poland holds?

1:03:40

And of course, the vocal question, what

1:03:42

do people in China call their best

1:03:46

crockery? Bye.