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more at uh1.com. Hello,

1:36

and welcome once again to My

1:39

Time Capsule. I'm

1:45

Mike Fenton-Stevens, and My Time Capsule is a

1:47

podcast where people tell me the five things

1:49

from their life they wish they had in

1:51

a time capsule. They pick four things that

1:53

they cherish and one thing that they wish

1:55

they could bury and forget. And

1:58

my guest in this episode is the stand-up comedian, Harriet

2:00

Kemsley, who began stand-up in 2011

2:04

and within months won the Fun is

2:06

Funny contest. In 2012 she

2:08

won the Bath Comedy Festival New Act of the

2:10

Year and Brighton Comedy Festival New Act of the

2:12

Year, and was named by

2:14

Rod Gilbert as one of the 10 must-see

2:17

comics. Since then Harriet has

2:19

appeared on Sam Delaney's news thing, Roast

2:21

Battle, 8 out of

2:23

10 Cats Does Countdown, Hypothetical, Guessable,

2:26

and she presents the podcast Why Is

2:28

Harriet Crying? with Sunil Patel. As

2:31

an actress Harriet has appeared in the

2:33

film Bonobo and on TV in Damned

2:35

and Dr Foster. She's

2:37

also provided the voice of Nashandra, the

2:40

final boss of the video game Dark

2:42

Souls 2. She and

2:44

her husband, but at the time fiancée,

2:46

Bobby Mayer, appeared on a Vice Land

2:48

reality show in 2017, entitled

2:51

Bobby and Harriet Get Married,

2:54

featuring Their Wedding. Officiated by

2:56

comedian Ramesh Ranganathan. Her hour-long

2:59

special Woman Child is available

3:01

on 800-lb Gorilla, which fundamentally means

3:03

it's online, and she's touring this

3:06

spring. Finally, you might like

3:08

to know that Harriet is allergic to

3:10

raw fruit, raw vegetables, and nuts. She

3:12

has a phobia of bananas, has dyspraxia,

3:14

and is a vegan. Now

3:17

come on, that's gotta be enough to make you want to listen

3:19

to this very funny woman. Good,

3:21

because here she is. Oh,

3:23

by the way, this episode was recorded before

3:25

Christmas 2023, which is why we talk about

3:27

it as if it's in the future. Because

3:30

it was. Anyway, have fun.

3:41

It's happening. Are you doing it? Well,

3:44

it's been lovely to talk to you. Thanks

3:46

for coming. Bye. It took me so long

3:48

to get logged off. We have

3:50

to end now, unfortunately. You make

3:53

me laugh so much, you know. I watched

3:55

Woman Child. Oh, God, it's funny.

3:58

That's so kind. Thank you. Oh, my God.

4:00

goodness. It's so weird to think of people

4:02

watching it and you're just so

4:04

used to doing it in person and

4:06

watching people's reactions that that's

4:08

the whole point isn't it? You record it and then that's

4:11

what's going to happen. I think that happens in

4:13

all performance you know you do it because you sort

4:15

of want to do it and then when

4:17

people afterwards say oh I saw it you go oh yeah

4:20

oh god yeah you were there or oh

4:23

yeah it was recorded it was on the tally. I

4:25

always forget that I completely forget about it. People say

4:27

oh I saw you in a thing the other night

4:29

they say did you what? Yeah I'm exactly the

4:31

same. I'm exactly the same. You just do it and then

4:33

I think you kind of have to put it out of

4:35

your mind. I mean you can't live in a world where

4:37

you're always in it you know you

4:40

have to just get on you have to make

4:43

the tea you know. Yes I think if I was

4:45

the man who walked out of the street he'd say

4:47

excuse me have you seen me on the tally? Yeah

4:49

yeah yeah nobody wants that but

4:51

also it's a performance isn't it? It's not

4:54

really you. It's the person that you become

4:56

when you do that stand-up routine. Yeah

4:58

exactly. It took

5:01

me a long time to kind of work out

5:03

what it was and I think the way that

5:05

I see it is it's I

5:08

don't know you're never 100% sure but I think it's kind

5:11

of the best version of me. It's

5:13

kind of me when I'm having the

5:15

most fun I guess and sometimes in

5:17

life you feel like you

5:19

have to be very polite or

5:21

behave a certain way whereas I

5:24

kind of that's kind of

5:26

how I see what it is being on

5:28

stage. That persona it is me it's just

5:30

me when I could really I can be

5:32

the most myself. Yeah unreserved. Yeah

5:34

yeah absolutely yeah it's nice

5:37

and you were born in Canterbury. I'm down in

5:39

Tumbridge Wells so not that far. I

5:41

went to Tumbridge Wells and recently my

5:43

sister it's a very nice

5:46

very nice place. Yeah we tried to find

5:48

a bar after 10 30 pm though and

5:50

that that's not an option I think in

5:52

the week. No picture and piano which is the

5:54

last place you want to go. Okay okay. I

5:57

always think that a place that has bounces on the door

6:00

at three o'clock in the afternoon is not a place you

6:02

want to go to. I think that's very wise thinking. I

6:04

think that's going to get you far in life believing that.

6:06

Yeah. Thank you. So

6:09

I was going to ask you your podcast,

6:11

why is Harriet crying? I

6:13

think the question should be, why

6:15

doesn't Sunil cry? Thank you so

6:17

much. I completely, I

6:19

completely agree. That kind of became what

6:21

the podcast became about. And because

6:24

I'm very emotional, so it was a

6:26

different reason every fortnight. And

6:28

then first of all, it was that he hadn't

6:30

cried since he was eight and tripped over a

6:32

dog. And it

6:34

was all about trying to get him

6:36

to feel something and also kind of

6:38

realizing that actually maybe he's either

6:41

he's really repressed everything or he's one of

6:43

the most emotionally kind of astute

6:45

people out there, maybe. Maybe. Maybe

6:47

that is the way to look at the world and go, you know what?

6:50

It's not that important. Yeah, very little. Yeah,

6:52

I think I think that's what he's

6:54

good at. To me, suddenly everything can

6:57

become completely overwhelming. Whereas

6:59

if you just he really is very

7:01

good at taking things in his stride,

7:03

which is a characteristic that I aspire

7:05

to. Yeah, I admire that in other

7:08

people because I am a person who easily

7:10

I'm easily overwhelmed by the things

7:12

I have to do. Yeah. I look

7:15

at a list ahead of me of things I have to do.

7:18

And actually, if I just do them, they're fine.

7:20

It's easy. I have plenty of time. That's it.

7:22

It's so it's so

7:24

sad, isn't it? How quickly life can just

7:26

become kind of I have to do these

7:28

tasks and then all the tasks are done

7:30

at the end of the day and you

7:32

just think, oh, but actually they were all

7:34

fine. It's also psychological. You just have to

7:36

try and get ahead of your own brain.

7:38

Yeah, yeah. Also, that strange thing, which I'm

7:40

sure a lot of people do, but

7:43

I do it particularly is that I have

7:45

something to do. And rather than doing it,

7:47

I worry about it. Yes. I can wait

7:49

hours doing that. Oh, me too. I

7:51

can build something up so much in my

7:54

head and then it's five minutes in. And

7:56

then you're like, oh, it's this is actually

7:58

done this. The actual doing of it. took

8:00

a tenth of the time of the worrying

8:02

about it. Yes, so we're going

8:04

to talk Harriet about five things from your life

8:06

that you'd like to put into a time capsule.

8:08

Yes. So have you had a chance to think

8:11

about them? I have, yes. I

8:13

had a little think.

8:15

I was a bit kind of thinking about

8:17

the idea of like what is the time

8:20

capsule. I guess you can put concepts

8:22

into it as well as actual things.

8:25

So I was

8:28

thinking of things that I have. I

8:30

guess one of the things from my

8:32

life right now that I

8:34

would put in to kind of think about the

8:36

last kind of decade of my life is my

8:39

Casio watch. You

8:42

can get them online for like 20 quid

8:44

I think and I have to wear

8:46

it every night when I'm on stage

8:48

so I can climb my sets. I

8:50

think a lot of comics get a

8:53

light from the back of the room where

8:55

the tech will let them know when they're

8:57

nearing the end of the set but then

8:59

I get so confused. I'll come off early

9:01

because someone will be taking a picture or

9:03

something and I'll come off of that. That

9:05

went so quickly and they're like you've only

9:07

run by 10 minutes. And

9:10

so I have to have this. Somebody checking

9:12

their phone. Yeah, exactly. I'm like oh god,

9:14

sorry, I'll leave. And so

9:16

having this watch, I

9:19

don't know if I'm particularly subtle when I

9:21

look at it. I think definitely sometimes if

9:23

you're maybe a bit fell out you can

9:25

be a bit like that kind of thing.

9:28

You try and kind of just like glance,

9:30

just have a little like side glance at

9:33

it so you know where you are. And

9:35

generally you've got kind of your set and

9:37

you know what you're doing but sometimes you're

9:39

suddenly further ahead or if

9:41

you've got talking to somebody or you're behind.

9:44

And so I just always

9:46

have to have it when I'm

9:48

on stage. Have you ever thought of

9:50

building that into the act then? No, because I

9:52

have to say whenever I see a stand-up comedian

9:54

and they look at their watch, The

9:57

sense that you get to a degree is are

9:59

they. Hoping it's over. I didn't

10:01

see that as a really good idea because I

10:03

always have protest so I'm not looking, but then

10:05

magna very good at pretending that sorry obvious So

10:08

I said I should probably Adam. How have I

10:10

never thought of that? What. You've just said this is

10:12

cool is good and I liked the idea that you'd

10:14

look at it and go to know what I was.

10:16

Book about what? So this is the watch Have had

10:18

on sees every night and always look at its and

10:20

then do the thing about lights of the Berkeley Lance

10:22

A I think it's from. That the night yeah

10:24

that's a good idea is I was sick

10:26

with comedy is sometimes they can tell when

10:29

you're not being authentic since I'm saying is

10:31

he can tell a story and you can

10:33

exaggerated that's sentences and things that completely rooted

10:36

in treats. They went there with you. You

10:38

could say I was look at it when there's

10:40

about three minutes lives to then you can talk

10:42

about why you look at it and go and

10:44

time yes and ever areas where I guess that's.

10:47

I fell by that three minutes disagree. About the

10:49

what sex the inside? I'd say

10:51

that That aside, Time for the I

10:53

got as one of those apple what's his

10:55

my Mangroves the it's really nice that and

10:57

it doesn't have a kind of hard buttons

11:00

and so it would be t tricky and

11:02

then the screen kind of goes into a

11:04

screensaver and I'd be on it up. he

11:06

likes oh my god like these it's I

11:08

heard of basic tools to kind of together.

11:11

Through I have a. Hubbard you

11:13

do when that thing to think what is

11:15

the time as I know what my heart

11:17

rate sensor right. I guess we're probably landslide

11:20

okay fights. I don't need to play the

11:22

bass player he's and status I've I've been

11:24

offered those could I like one of those

11:26

sort of as a present Christmas and I

11:28

don't really want one. Because. I'm older

11:31

people under good ones from whole time trying.

11:33

To. Go to Texas and seasonal flu

11:35

somebody? Zemin? Yeah. He doesn't get seasick quickly

11:37

and I there's something about being employed said

11:39

just walk away from a sign I think is

11:42

is very healthy you that when a D

11:44

C woven have his glasses out when and he

11:46

that any messaging app negative be in our

11:48

i said as as. Amazon. Or

11:51

like to compartmentalize things. So I say okay,

11:53

I'm going to go and check my emails

11:55

and deal with them. I. Think that's incredibly

11:57

healthy. I think that is that. If

12:00

the goal I am do not live in

12:02

that well days me I lived, I aspire

12:04

to. maybe instead I live in chaos Less

12:07

I am very good at. I kind of

12:09

reply things very quickly because I I think

12:11

it best to different parts of people and

12:13

I used to be somebody with their twenty

12:16

thousand and on read emails and then one

12:18

day I was like no more and I

12:20

went through and I just cleared it all

12:22

out and now I have to have it

12:25

on zero otherwise I feel very stressed. And.

12:27

That's not a way to live because

12:29

you're just. you're letting somebody else can

12:31

dictate how you feel When just because

12:34

they're thinking about you, asking for something

12:36

doesn't mean you need to reply immediately.

12:38

I'm so yeah. lots to work on.

12:40

Basically, I were discussing. Discovery from

12:42

this Gsm. Oh my word

12:44

for sudden realization. Summer split

12:47

but a Casio wolves It's

12:49

a classic through guess. I've

12:51

had some of them Sat. Across

12:54

the street if I mean this is the

12:56

thing with it as well. I've got three

12:58

of them as squad gray one of the

13:00

when it will play well as think the

13:03

gray one has has like ten years and

13:05

I've actually gotten in water s They all

13:07

have have this alarm setting guy with i

13:09

am he go off once a day at

13:11

a random times an. Assessor

13:13

ever. I apps if I am in that

13:16

house and or three at the the there at

13:18

some point in the house three times today the

13:20

Alonso cops and people tried to say me how

13:22

to stop it and I just I can't remember

13:24

the name of megan so annoyed make us oh

13:26

he had to do with this but I just

13:28

I can't retain at i'm okay with it was

13:31

it resets is it knocks against my my wrist

13:33

and then they'll change it but then it will

13:35

just start again and. Some element of the

13:37

responses. I. Think it might be

13:39

of as real as element of the distracts. Yeah

13:41

Yeah right. Yeah, things. That seem

13:44

very simplified, the people just and the

13:46

it's it's It's also fine. It's it's

13:48

Listen to the battle scene. I this

13:50

is just I. I can accept that

13:52

three times a day alarms the. Gonna. Go

13:54

off soon as she said yes, They should

13:57

really be a reason why that would annoy.

14:00

So to go will like I don't how to turn off day

14:02

you on that failure. A noise of the the

14:04

same as and I I do hey allowed

14:06

the Nazis with adenoids the things that it's

14:08

very gentle and it just stays on Sas

14:10

twenty second see now and then nan and

14:12

said every time I think and must that

14:14

I must set out to d that admitted

14:16

as they never happens. While it's a

14:18

good thing to do in life where

14:21

think because you can drive yourself mad

14:23

with worrying about what other people are

14:25

doing yeah they don't follow your patterns

14:27

as it were ice ages Every time

14:30

I will post my wife's sister draws

14:32

a close the top drawer because she

14:34

was this is slightly open as it

14:36

really got to me on this one

14:39

more push thus and I would say

14:41

to it's just it's just one more

14:43

sense to say what are the tablet

14:45

or shuttle.yeah so that's find is that.

14:47

Really, I ought to have to accept that. And

14:49

I have. No, I have. Ah, yet. This. Is

14:51

the have to accept it or you have to

14:54

accept that you're gonna have to set a happy

14:56

time You see at the same you caught saying

14:58

something else. his behavior. that's the difficult lesson is

15:00

nets. It is a difficult lesson

15:02

to learn indeed. School lord most

15:04

ago says it's it's it's. It's

15:08

let us. Are letting

15:10

them as be a boy when we start. this

15:12

is while other you learn from other people I

15:14

think you would learn by watching other people and

15:16

going to the that's a good idea Why do

15:18

I do that says. With

15:20

it's put the Casio Watson to know what

15:22

you meant to the digital watch. He said

15:24

of. Is this

15:26

today's the good? Asked you harriet that

15:28

that I think about digital watches a

15:31

thing that came along at a certain

15:33

point to they weren't there when I

15:35

was young but in fact I got

15:37

my very first digital watch. Them were

15:39

twelfth birthday. it's oh some some time

15:41

ago is now. Yeah. But he

15:43

really was one of those ones who just proceso I

15:45

did. It is the top with numbers. Rather,

15:47

Than at three o'clock and A So that's all

15:49

it did you press a button on up came

15:51

the time in red lettering. guess is that

15:53

a stickler exciting i get him and

15:55

if that assess wants to see the

15:57

city when you have the regular tennis

16:00

Is it analog? Why

16:02

didn't you have that to take on stage? But then

16:04

I have to work out what time I went

16:06

on stage to then work out what the point

16:08

is that I come off and the amount of

16:10

time that I'm doing. And so that's never going

16:12

to work, you know, so it has to be

16:14

digital. Lovely. Thank goodness they were invented.

16:16

OK, we're going to put that in there. You've always

16:18

got one if you need one. Yeah, I

16:20

feel sorry for whoever is near the time capsule three times

16:23

a day. They're going to be like, why? There's

16:26

an alarm. Excuse me. No, it's coming from

16:28

under the ground. Yeah, it's going on. That

16:32

means it's not someone saying let me out. Exactly.

16:34

Yes. Well, we haven't got through all of

16:37

my. You never know. That's

16:39

true. OK, so let's move on to number two.

16:42

So number two, I was going

16:44

to put in a medal that I

16:46

got. I ran a half marathon. Wow.

16:49

I just couldn't believe that I did

16:51

it. I was always so

16:53

bad at sport, at running. I

16:56

once I was at school and they and

16:58

they was like a swimming like the end

17:01

of year swimming thing. And I took part

17:03

in that. It was like graded

17:05

like a capacordia to how good you were. And I was in

17:07

the bottom. And then I I jumped in

17:09

to take part because my name had been

17:11

called. And I had accidentally put myself in

17:13

the top grade swimming race. And

17:16

it was so humiliating because

17:19

everybody finished so far ahead of me. And

17:21

I was swimming. And it was one of those

17:24

things where everyone was they were so nice and

17:26

everyone started chanting kind of, come on,

17:28

Harriet. It is humiliating.

17:31

In other words, you're spluttering through the water,

17:33

you know, everyone is finished like 10 of

17:36

you. And then they gave me

17:38

like they gave me like points, you

17:41

know, for taking part because

17:43

they'd been a mistake. But it's

17:45

just so humiliating. And then at sports day, you

17:47

had to pick something and I didn't know what

17:49

to do. And no one was doing hurdles. I

17:51

was like, oh, I'll do hurdles. That seems fun.

17:54

Every time I knock over every single hurdle, it

17:56

was like it was so domino. It's like it

17:58

was just absurd. Right

18:00

and have been doing hide it is making things

18:02

I couldn't even run september difficult that he had

18:04

as in the way. And so as the yeah

18:07

during this half marathon it was seven. it was

18:09

quite a few years ago now. but it just

18:11

I just couldn't believe that I've done. It. Where

18:13

was it would introduce? It was that

18:15

foil parks and Harrison is so it's

18:18

lovely at the size houses s with

18:20

really you kind of run pass at

18:22

buckingham Palace like along the water and

18:24

the second half is in the park

18:26

which is less exciting I will say

18:28

is allow them simple bebo, repetitive and

18:30

I I didn't get a great time

18:33

and I wasn't particularly good at it.

18:35

I kept hitting the between these acts

18:37

like I got my faith people in

18:39

front of me with stop very quickly

18:41

and I got my face planted into

18:43

somebody sweaty back. Of that

18:45

happened twice affected the toilet, twice in

18:48

it like it was. It was not

18:50

a good time or anything anyone else

18:52

would have would be really proud of.

18:54

but I just I just couldn't believe

18:56

that I've done. It now I went

18:58

to this year because my daughter run.

19:00

oh. Wow entity empties into

19:03

it. Known as as well

19:05

as she trained could hold of them.

19:07

She has a bad test code just

19:09

before so slow feeling and on world

19:11

but still run it and she was

19:13

going great She said I was running

19:16

along so test and of them to

19:18

Soros on the route. know I'd been

19:20

to about five different places with point

19:22

same should be along in a minute

19:24

I can see her on the op's

19:26

he succumbs She's gone Pollsters we've lost

19:29

a success but when we want to

19:31

the next one answer we would crush

19:33

around. Lumps different various points and wait

19:35

for her finally we saw it coming

19:37

and seem to be so please see

19:39

as as he stopped and talk to

19:41

his room moment. A bench

19:43

paradoxes And after that it was

19:45

hell. Because. He

19:47

stopped. Yeah. Your bloody is like we liked

19:49

that. that's made the bit where you at you

19:51

and dell. Let's go back to that. let this

19:54

sets. But she did. It. To do to it's you

19:56

finish at her. i think i had many moments

19:58

as but i was so i was I

20:00

did find it very exciting. I

20:03

just quite liked it. Like I haven't, I wasn't

20:05

running a bit. And then I had a bad

20:07

fall a couple of, this

20:10

is a go, I had a really pathetic

20:12

fall, not very far where

20:15

I live. And I went down and

20:17

I grazed my knee. Like I still have

20:19

a scar from it. And then I went

20:21

and sat on a bench. It

20:25

was just so pathetic basically, but I

20:27

need to get over my fear, you

20:29

know, get back to

20:31

it. Well, it's not pathetic. I, you know,

20:33

I wince and I feel terrible. Even when

20:35

I see a child fall over. Yeah.

20:38

I know when I was a child,

20:40

you always had scraped knees and grazes

20:42

everywhere because you were running

20:44

and tripping. But you would have that particularly,

20:46

wouldn't you? Yeah, I'm

20:49

just covered. I'm covered in bruises, cuts and

20:51

people are like, where did that come from?

20:53

That looked terrible. I'm like, I have no

20:55

idea. I don't know. It doesn't even register.

20:57

Well, that's nice. But one that makes you

20:59

sit down and go, Oh my God, I'm not going

21:01

to do this anymore. That's a nasty fall. Yeah.

21:04

Well, I think, I think maybe sometimes you're just

21:06

looking for an excuse maybe. Fair

21:09

enough. Why not? It's

21:12

a long way. Half a marathon is

21:14

ridiculous. Running a marathon is madness. I

21:16

watched a friend of mine do it

21:18

around Paris, which was one of the

21:20

nicest days I've ever spent. We just

21:22

kept jumping on the Metro and

21:24

going to another place. And we did see

21:27

him at every spot, but we basically, as

21:29

he went by, we would be sitting in

21:31

a cafe to begin with, with coffee and

21:33

croissant, and eventually with a glass of wine.

21:35

That's cruel, isn't it? Oh, that's the way

21:37

to do a marathon. You've nailed the marathon.

21:39

This is, I've been making a mistake by

21:41

trying to take part in things. It's the

21:44

cafe culture around it. That's actually what

21:46

I like. Yeah. You're

21:48

right. Then you think,

21:50

so wow, look at those amazing pickles. They look

21:52

tired. Oh, they look very, just

21:55

a simple glass. Thank you, Weta. That

21:59

is what I want. I'm

22:01

thinking of starting running again in order

22:03

to get myself fit. It's

22:06

wonderful living in that moment where you're so hopeful

22:08

for who you are going to be like it's

22:10

actually you kind of want to prolong it. You're

22:12

like well I can really be a

22:14

complete state for the next month. I can really

22:16

revel in that because I know I'm going to

22:18

be a different person and then by the 3rd

22:20

of January everything falls apart. Not for you though

22:22

obviously. No, obviously. Not for you when you're running. No,

22:24

no. Once I make my mind up about something. Yeah,

22:28

that's the problem, making your mind up. No

22:30

good at all. Well congratulations on

22:33

running that half marathon. Thank you, thank

22:35

you so much. And I think

22:37

it's right to put it in there to treasure it. Well

22:39

done. Yeah, exactly. I did it. And then the

22:42

third one I was going to put in. Okay,

22:45

sorry to interrupt but it's ad break time.

22:47

I'll be back before you notice I'm gone.

22:51

I've not gone yet. I'm going now. Bye. Ad

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24:20

Welcome back. Did you notice I'd gone or had

24:22

you drifted off and just stopped listening by then?

24:25

As well, let's get back to Harriet Kemsley

24:27

and find out what else she'd like in

24:29

her time capsule. And

24:32

then the third one I was going to put in is, I

24:34

mean, it is, it is related

24:36

kind of in a way to, to

24:39

sports, I guess. The one thing

24:41

that I've loved and that I

24:43

feel good at is

24:45

snowboarding. I was going to

24:47

put a snowboard in there, although maybe I should

24:50

put a helmet because the helmet has saved me

24:52

a lot of time. So I feel like maybe

24:54

I should put the helmet in.

24:56

But, um, I, there's something

24:58

about having both

25:01

your feet attached. Like I think

25:03

with dyspraxia or something, my, all

25:05

my limbs move in different ways

25:07

perhaps. And having two of them

25:09

attached at once, I feel like

25:11

I'm better at doing that than

25:13

walking. And, um, the feeling

25:15

of being up in the mountains and, uh,

25:17

snowboarding is just one of the best feelings

25:20

for me that I could imagine. Did

25:23

you try skiing before that? I

25:25

did. And so I did that. And then when I

25:27

was 11, I skied into the mountain, which

25:30

is not what people usually think you're

25:32

going to fall off the mountain, but

25:34

I skied straight into a very, a

25:37

very big bit of a mountain at top

25:39

speed. And so I screwed up some of

25:41

the ligaments in my knee. Nobody

25:43

believed me and they made me ski the next day.

25:45

Um, and well, it all came

25:47

on there when I was back on crutches and I got

25:49

back to UK. Um, and, uh, it

25:51

just, it just never quite gelled for me

25:53

and I liked it, but it just

25:56

never quite worked. And then because of that,

25:58

I started snowboarding and it. just,

26:01

I just love it. Have you ever been? I

26:04

have been snowboarding, yes. Just

26:06

once. And unfortunately, I made the choice

26:09

for my son's sake. My son was again about 12, I

26:12

think. And he said, I'd like to

26:14

go skiing. And he'd never been snowboarding.

26:16

So I said, well, we could fly

26:19

to Scotland. So we did.

26:21

Wow. It was very exciting. It

26:23

was a lovely trip. It was a terrible

26:25

flight. It was really awful. We were supposed

26:27

to land in Glasgow. We landed in Edinburgh.

26:29

Oh, dear. It was really windy and

26:32

horrible. So that was terrifying. Then we

26:34

got a hire car and drove off

26:36

into the night, into the mountains up

26:38

towards Fort William. And again,

26:40

that was terrifying, because I thought, this

26:42

breaks down, we're dead. And

26:45

we got there, the accommodation

26:47

was not the best.

26:51

And then we went up the mountain

26:53

at Fort William the next day and

26:55

hired a snowboard. And I couldn't even

26:57

stand. And you'd never done it before

26:59

you never done the mountain you were like, it

27:03

was just ice. There'd been no snow for months. It

27:05

was just really compacted

27:07

ice. And it was impossible. That's

27:10

very impressive to do without a lesson. I

27:12

think the thing is with snowboarding, I think

27:14

it takes longer to be able to be

27:16

able to do it at an all right

27:18

level where you can get down. But I

27:20

think once you've got that, then it's easier.

27:22

Whereas with skiing, you can kind of do

27:24

it and get down kind of quicker. But

27:27

it takes longer to be like really good

27:29

at it. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, it does make

27:31

sense. I sort of assumed that

27:33

my son will be able to do it

27:35

because he was a very keen skateboarder. It's

27:38

not the same skill at all. No,

27:41

no, well, I guess it is the balance and stuff.

27:43

But it is just a whole new technique. And if

27:45

you're on top of an icy mountain, it's very difficult

27:47

to retain the confidence that you need, I guess. So

27:51

that that definitely could have been one of the issues.

27:53

Yes. Well, after about a

27:55

day of doing this, we decided that it just

27:57

wasn't going to work. And so both of us

28:00

became slightly concerned that we had to fly back

28:02

in about three days time. We'd had

28:04

such a horrible flight that I

28:06

said to my son, do you want to drive home? And he

28:09

said, yes please. So

28:13

we just got in the car and cut off so

28:15

we just slowly drove down through the country and it

28:17

was lovely. That's quite an adventure you

28:19

know that's a pretty fun

28:22

trip. Yeah. I think next time lessons is

28:24

a very good idea. Have somebody

28:27

who knows what they're doing. Yeah,

28:29

at the same time my wife took my

28:31

daughter to a luxurious hotel in Brighton and

28:33

they went shopping. I would have gone

28:35

with them I have to say. Yeah, they

28:37

made the better call there. I think I would

28:39

have gone with them. So do

28:41

you go snowboarding often? Yeah, well

28:44

I am it's hard to go too much

28:46

but I went this year with two guests

28:48

actually that have been on your on your

28:50

podcast. I heard Lou was talking about it.

28:53

Lou Sanders was talking about when we went

28:55

to Chamonix and Stuart Lawes as well. We

28:57

went in April. Yeah.

29:00

Stuart directed your thing didn't he? Yes,

29:02

yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. She's brilliant, yeah

29:04

he's a very impressive person. So that was very

29:08

fun. Oh lovely. Yes, Lou

29:10

is, she's mad. She's

29:13

brilliant. Yeah, in the best way. Strange

29:15

enough I bumped into her at the

29:17

half marathon. Oh really? She was there

29:19

to watch Annie McGrath. Oh Annie,

29:21

yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness.

29:24

Small world in there. This is

29:26

coming together, yeah. Lovely.

29:29

Right, snowboarding goes in. That's number three.

29:32

That's number three and then the final

29:34

thing I will put in there I was

29:36

like okay I can't put in my baby

29:39

so that's that's not an option. So I

29:41

can't put in my dog. So I'm gonna put

29:44

in a pizza

29:46

express. The whole

29:48

building. The whole building is

29:50

a pizza express because you

29:52

need the smell, you need the thing,

29:55

you need the ambience. I just

29:57

really love a pizza express it's become a very good

29:59

place. a bit of a

30:01

running theme with people that I know. But

30:04

I guess I just started going there when

30:06

I was quite young. You go kind of,

30:08

I went after I got my ears pierced

30:10

and for birthday parties. And it's just always

30:12

the same no matter where you are in

30:14

the country. And so when I'm touring or

30:16

whatever, it's really nice to go back there.

30:18

And I think when I was younger, I

30:21

was quite fussy about eating.

30:24

And so and the margarita pizzas

30:26

there were just perfect.

30:28

Yeah, I like those ones where they have the salad in

30:30

the middle. What are they called? I

30:33

like those as well. What are they called? Ligerian?

30:35

I can't have salads. Yes. So I've asked

30:37

them to take away the salad and then they're

30:39

like, this is, this doesn't make

30:41

any sense. Oh, right. Yes. You're

30:43

allergic to various fruits and vegetables. I'm

30:46

very awkward. Yes. And so I'm allergic to

30:48

raw fruits and raw vegetables. And then I'm

30:50

also a vegetarian, which is by

30:52

choice. And when I was

30:54

younger, I was also just fussy. So it was just

30:58

going anywhere. I'd like I'd be having chips

31:00

or rice or just anything plain. And

31:03

so having a margarita

31:05

pizza was pretty crazy.

31:08

Yeah, quite exotic. Yes. I

31:11

think I discovered pizzas in

31:13

my late 20s, maybe 30s. Up

31:16

until that point, a pizza was a horrible thing.

31:19

I'd been Twitter-y, but I don't think I'd really eaten

31:21

pizza there because I thought I don't really like pizza.

31:24

And then a little Italian pizza

31:26

shop opened at the bottom of my

31:28

road and this slightly mad

31:30

Italian who for years had stood in

31:33

an alleyway in Germany throwing pizzas

31:35

in the air trying to attract people into the

31:37

pizza shop that he worked in had opened his

31:39

own place, a tiny, tiny little place. You had

31:42

to squeeze in. I think it had three tables

31:44

around a pizza oven. And

31:46

he cooked the most fantastic pizzas.

31:48

Yeah. And I fell in love

31:50

with pizzas. But of that

31:53

type, I still don't like the

31:55

thick ones. So actually, Pizza Express works for

31:57

me. OK. I think the...

31:59

The thicker ones are the more kind of

32:01

American ones, aren't they? They're kind of Chicago

32:03

deep dish. And although I'd maybe if we

32:06

were to have one in Chicago, I bet they

32:08

would be good. You're probably right. Everything in its

32:10

place. Yeah. But but yeah,

32:12

there's something just exciting about a pizza, isn't it? The

32:14

fact that they're throwing it in the air like, where

32:16

else, you know, are you it's like pancake day or

32:18

something. It has

32:20

a certain, a certain fun to it. But

32:23

yet is it still open that restaurant? Sadly, no,

32:25

it's gone. He stopped paying

32:27

his tax, I think. Oh, yeah. Dear

32:30

runner. Quite

32:33

dramatic. Yeah. But I had

32:36

many, many happy times. I once had a

32:38

Christmas lunch at this restaurant. They closed the

32:40

whole restaurant and I took my parents and

32:42

my parents in law and both sides of

32:45

the family. So there were about 15 of

32:47

us there. And we had

32:49

an Italian Christmas lunch. It went

32:51

on for hours and hours. It

32:54

was absolutely fantastic. Wow.

32:56

So they didn't. It was on Christmas

32:58

day. Christmas day. They opened the

33:00

restaurant specifically for us. Isn't

33:02

that amazing? So it was just

33:05

you guys in the restaurant. Yeah. And then as they

33:07

cooked them, they then sat down and had Christmas lunch with us.

33:09

Oh, I think that's really nice. We're

33:12

going out for Christmas lunch

33:14

this year because my family is coming

33:17

to London and to me

33:19

and it just was assumed we go out

33:21

for lunch because no one trusted me. Where

33:25

do we book? But I think

33:27

it's going to be quite nice. It's

33:29

going to be very stress free and

33:32

quite relaxed, not having to worry about

33:34

cooking. Yeah, it is, isn't it? It's expensive.

33:36

Yeah. Yeah. There was a period where I

33:38

didn't care. I

33:40

was making enough. That may be true

33:42

again with my time in Wicked. Yeah. But maybe

33:45

next Christmas I'll say to everyone, come on, let's

33:47

all just go out to lunch. Anything you like.

33:50

Yeah, I think that's a nice idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In

33:52

2025 when I'm free. Yeah.

33:55

I'll book a pizza express for them. There you

33:57

go, yeah. Are

34:00

you not so fussy about pizzas now or do

34:02

you still have a margarita? No,

34:04

I do quite like a pedana which is

34:06

like goat cheese with

34:09

caramelised onion. It's

34:11

really good. So I've

34:14

really gone up in the world. I will

34:16

say very sophisticated taste these days. But

34:19

so awkward being allergic to fresh

34:22

fruit and fresh vegetables. It's

34:24

so silly. I mean I think it's not really that

34:26

bad. And I can tell very

34:29

quickly when it's a reaction. It's just, it

34:31

just would be, I just aspire to be

34:33

somebody that could eat a salad. Like I

34:35

just think it would, it's just to me

34:37

so glamorous just people eating a salad. And

34:40

so easy. And yeah

34:42

that's just, that's just not on the cards. If

34:44

things are cooked then it's absolutely fine. It's

34:46

just if they're raw it's very odd. How

34:49

annoying. Well, I

34:51

love a Pizza Express. Yes, I'm going

34:53

to put the Walling Tumbra Dwells for you. Okay,

34:56

love. I bet that's a nice one. Here's a

34:58

nice one. It's in a beautiful old building.

35:00

You know like all the buildings used to

35:02

be banks and they're now restaurants. Yes. It's

35:05

one of those. It's a beautiful old Lloyd's Bank building.

35:07

That's great. They're either a Wetherspoons or a Pizza

35:09

Express. And so yeah they

35:12

did well. Okay that goes in

35:14

there for you. The whole building. Great. So

35:17

the last thing you have to put in is something you'd like

35:19

to bury and forget. Well I guess

35:21

it's kind of, this is more a concept

35:24

I guess. We've got a whole Pizza Express and

35:26

a time capsule then we don't need to worry

35:28

about it. One

35:30

of the things that, I don't know what it is. Maybe

35:33

you could help me understand this. I get so

35:35

annoyed when people try and tell me things. If

35:38

somebody tries to explain something to me

35:40

when I haven't asked them to, I

35:43

get so close and

35:45

my brain automatically switches off and

35:47

so I won't listen. And so it's completely

35:49

pointless and I can waste half an hour

35:51

in that state of somebody trying to tell

35:54

me something and me just purposely not listening

35:56

because I Don't want to be

35:58

told. Because I

36:00

am and a bit sketchy may

36:02

dns make mistakes that be were

36:04

like oh cds us to tell

36:07

her things and then my body

36:09

reacts by refusing to listen to

36:11

them. Or doesn't seem unfair to me?

36:13

I think it's fair argument to say. Look,

36:16

Evil wanted to notice. I would

36:18

have sounded out yes. Exactly Yeah,

36:20

I'll find out myself. I will or our

36:22

eyes it. And then you could give us

36:24

a brief response. Suffer for tea. Break for

36:27

suffer for it fits fights, And

36:29

then there and never gets the button. is

36:31

it bad ass that can just kind of

36:33

that the whole rigmarole it sometimes I think

36:35

people to say he concealed and panic getting

36:38

pleased with themselves as that that telling you

36:40

what to do and it is. My mom

36:42

has the same thing as they fit see

36:44

would say seals I just completely switches off

36:46

in some respects it tends to tell us

36:48

something I think it probably is something the

36:50

and we should was that would be useful

36:53

in life because sometimes you do that. why

36:55

do you think are that was probably very

36:57

key information I need. A D D to

36:59

lead that. Maybe may be good Zulu you

37:01

could always argue. Look, I do what I'm

37:03

good at. Yeah, I know what I'm

37:05

doing on our dude world so are going

37:08

to do that. I'm going to be successful

37:10

at it. and then when I need those

37:12

things done, Of hire someone.

37:14

Is exactly I think was I have

37:16

a slightly odd way of doing things

37:19

sometimes like I would do things in

37:21

it will be in a big circle

37:23

around. To. Yeah that is not the

37:25

way that people with an expect a one

37:27

of and that that that's that's my way

37:30

and that's how it. It makes sense to.

37:32

Me I think that in life that's

37:34

more the case than people realize or

37:36

the everybody thinks everybody's doing things the

37:38

same when event we all find her

37:40

own way of doing stuff and we

37:42

just cut to the same conclusion that's

37:44

true of mathematics. Have spoken to people

37:46

about months. how do you think about

37:48

numbers Out you see them in your

37:50

head and people go. What are you

37:52

talking about on the city Not see

37:55

the numbers in your head and them

37:57

move them around and go of. That

37:59

goes ice. The numbers that

38:01

so interesting. Yeah, I do. I look

38:03

at it and I'd immediately can see all these

38:05

numbers and and then say oh we'll see I

38:07

see have to take away North's and it's almost

38:09

as if is on a on a board in

38:12

front of me and I'm controlling it but other

38:14

people say I don't think of it that way

38:16

A tude. I don't even visualize the numbers in

38:18

my head. A total. It say is

38:20

that might my dad less and less math

38:22

settings as easily as I am times in

38:25

have a better word. that way they is

38:27

like the thing is I see will be

38:29

t and patterns and in numbers and really

38:32

just click. funny because that's I guess how

38:34

is it? Besides I write a joke that

38:36

whack saw it as I can align in

38:38

something that I love it and that's the

38:41

same. I find that the default. Via a

38:43

music is this terribly mathematical doesn't fit

38:45

Other guess what you love about it

38:47

as you please? It makes sense is

38:49

it sort of adds up in a

38:51

way. Yeah and like months it consists

38:53

of nice surprise you you think that

38:55

I didn't expect that top and. See

38:57

the mask and surprised. Yes, it's

38:59

a book. Confirm our last theorem.

39:02

Written. By Simon Signals and it basically

39:04

describes a mathematical genius who everybody said

39:06

was the greatest mathematical mind in the

39:09

mood. When he was about twenty one

39:11

and he went to Cambridge and then

39:13

he sort of disappeared and for years

39:16

people when was he doing this shit?

39:18

I don't really know what he's doing.

39:21

And then one day cooled together all

39:23

these extraordinary mathematicians for mood around the

39:25

world and wrote down the answer and

39:27

it took him i think about three

39:30

days to write the zone so down

39:32

on a board to the same as

39:34

last year. I. Might say

39:36

about. The. Yes, it's astonishing. Be moving.

39:38

I've recommended have a read of it.

39:41

It's beautiful about know I might send

39:43

it to. A specific that

39:45

to take care of. This I'm

39:47

completely with you on the fact

39:49

that people should be sensitive to

39:51

when people want to know something.

39:55

He hadn't behave themselves. If we

39:57

do need these gurus, you know,

40:00

Life. Yeah know, Gary

40:02

saved. Ya of all find my

40:04

own gear. A Yeah yeah exactly.

40:06

Lovely. Okay I'm going to put

40:08

that in this barrier to and

40:10

whenever he starts know him just

40:12

go quiet. You smells will be

40:14

moving ssssss.com Humans Com humans See.

40:17

That's this. three months Is things the way I

40:19

saw. A guy and. I

40:21

read our block out. Anybody that says as

40:23

fab. A pathetic lovely or it's a good very

40:25

good for the me the things you would put

40:28

it. I would love to meet and to talk

40:30

to. visiting. Soon as he does either the having

40:32

this. You

40:36

have been listening to Mind. With

40:40

me books and Stevens am against

40:42

harriet. Thanks for

40:44

sticking with this If you had fun

40:46

than do right to reduce on the

40:48

podcast providing you prefer to use and

40:51

then click on subscribe so we can

40:53

let you know whenever there's a new

40:55

episode of Happens on Talk Cats. I

40:57

often thought social media. Ramps

41:02

got the hang of that. He must

41:04

be my age since for quite some

41:07

people love and I find too busy

41:09

and threats would still needs to be

41:11

put together to make a decent bit

41:13

of cloth. Still, you can find us

41:15

there, so do fatherless and say hello.

41:17

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41:20

gorgeous, the named pass the pieces music

41:22

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41:24

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41:34

nine a month as they some

41:36

forty be an episode. Took it

41:38

out in the description discuss a

41:41

cost of production which like we

41:43

throw it away but actually we

41:45

toss it in your direction will

41:47

help. It was made through a

41:49

cast and produced by John sentence

41:51

Stevens right? I'm off to eat

41:53

Some little bits of metal is

41:55

my staple diet. Oh come on,

41:57

don't give up on me yet.

41:59

Twenty twenty. Just start it. I've

42:01

got loads more jokes to come this year, and

42:03

surely one of them is bound to make you

42:05

laugh. Bye. Ad-free

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