0:01

Misfit toys. Please don't

0:03

take this person out. Get

0:10

This has been one of those days.

0:14

Dude, we're podcasters. He's a

0:15

host, baby. Keep I'm coming

0:18

big boy.

0:18

I'm sorry, Brothy. Hey, Brothy.

0:20

As flynn, this ain't no comedy

0:22

show,

0:22

bro, it's kind of it. I bought hot dogs.

0:24

Love it. Love it. Love it.

0:26

My favorite

0:43

Live on tape. It's the fastest

0:45

hour in podcasting. This is

0:47

never not funny. Now, here's

0:49

your host, Jimmy Pardo.

0:54

Beep. Everybody. Welcome into the program.

0:57

I'm gonna redo the beat because I

0:59

Nope. Just don't know. Have a have a tough time

1:01

with the we got it one

1:03

clock lasted for fifteen years. This one

1:05

hasn't made it. think it No. This is

1:07

all user error. This is all user error.

1:09

Yeah. This is the you got three split you

1:12

guys a couple of different settings on the back

1:14

and one for no beep and

1:15

one, and then and I keep bypassing the

1:17

beep spot because I forget You

1:19

can't just leave it where it is does your finger Yeah.

1:21

Turn it off. Gotta turn it off. Oh, you have to turn

1:24

it off.

1:25

Yeah. Yeah. I gotcha.

1:27

Yeah. Alright. And then I just seen, like,

1:29

a bit of a design flaw.

1:30

No? It's not, guys. It's a use it's

1:32

user error. It's a one hundred percent where you're trying to let

1:34

you off the hook. Yeah. There's no reason to This

1:36

is this is a time. Yeah. Look, boss. You're great. It's the

1:38

it's the machine that's

1:40

wrong. Yeah.

1:40

Again, I'm not done from you. I am not

1:43

Tony Soprano. We'll

1:44

continue on Boston

1:45

with Red Goods, guys.

1:45

It's it's Red. Yeah. Yeah. It's fuckingdinga.

1:49

Yeah. Did we send send it over to the Staples?

1:53

Welcome to the program episode. Thirty one

1:55

twenty three of the award winning podcast. Never not

1:57

funny. We welcome you in on

1:59

a The raid is passing.

2:01

The raid's passing Los Angeles. It's a sunny

2:03

out there right now, but still breezy. It's still

2:05

The streets littered with debris from the winds.

2:08

And but we welcome you in on a on

2:10

Monday and, you know, we're all here

2:13

though. Gang is here. And we hope that you guys had

2:15

a terrific weekend at home. Or by the time you hear

2:17

this Wednesday, I hope you have also had a good Monday and

2:19

a Tuesday. I was in Paris, Texas over

2:21

the weekend. My first road gig since last

2:23

September where I

2:25

had a great time in Bloomington last September,

2:27

but then my health told me otherwise,

2:30

had take a little break of Ruseskoo. And

2:32

luckily, I seem to be on the men or at

2:34

least able to honor

2:36

these bookings. And

2:42

got into, you know, your fly this

2:44

particular routing gentleman is as follows.

2:47

You I leave my home I

2:49

go to LAX, which by the way and

2:51

I'm gonna give away a secret here. But but it's not

2:54

a secret. It's it's public, but it's still a secret because

2:56

nobody's doing it. There you can

2:58

buy parking in advance for LAX

3:00

online at the

3:01

airport, and it's very

3:03

reasonable. You mean, like, for the inner inside

3:06

the circle? Really? Yes. Really? Yes.

3:09

Right. Really? I don't believe it.

3:11

Really? Well, you know, let me say

3:13

this. For me, it's

3:14

reasonable. It's more reasonable than if you just paid

3:16

on your way out. it's much it's it's much

3:18

better than that. Okay. And to me,

3:20

it's worth the extra money to not deal with shuttles

3:23

-- Mhmm. -- or Uber or anything. Again,

3:25

I'm in control -- Mhmm. -- I arrive,

3:27

I park, I walk, and I don't have to worry

3:29

anything. So to

3:29

me, it's worth these little extra money to that

3:31

captain.

3:32

No, Jimmy. Jimmy,

3:35

you're in control. You're the captain

3:37

now. So a cat with the r.

3:39

Nothing came at me and then I played with it.

3:42

That was the microphone

3:42

everybody. For those just listening, the

3:45

microphone I'll do it. You're gonna attack. But the market

3:47

won't attack me. Yeah. And I had to, like, I

3:49

had to give it one four. So I

3:51

leave my home, I go to the LA x

3:53

American Airlines. I salute that tail as I do

3:55

each and every time I fly the airline.

3:57

Mhmm.

3:57

And And the the stewardesses don't like

4:00

to be called that by the way. What

4:02

you call what the tale? I disagree. I'd like

4:04

to live in a Aukerman time. Boy,

4:07

there was a prick on my flight

4:09

back. Very

4:12

fucking disrespectful to the the flight attendant.

4:14

And I I and it was a gentleman.

4:16

It was a gentleman's flight attendant. And he just

4:19

this guy just some entitled

4:21

fucking rich prick, and I

4:23

I just wanted to kick him in the teeth. Anyhow,

4:26

back to my arrival. I

4:28

I leave Los Angeles. By the way, I mean, here's

4:31

here's some foreshadowing, not

4:33

one, but two celebrity

4:35

side things on this plane. Oh, boy. My god.

4:37

Not one but two, not yet? Was one of them the

4:39

rich brick? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

4:41

It's unfung fun. Arrive

4:44

in Dallas, Texas, Dallas Fort Worth -- Mhmm.

4:46

-- get my rental car drive the two hours

4:48

to Paris, Texas. It's a long drive.

4:50

That's that's a bit of drive. On the drive

4:52

there, I enjoyed listening to Danielle and Christine.

4:54

How to survive with Danielle and Christine. I was able to catch

4:56

up on their show -- Nice. -- as well as listening to a nice

4:58

shuffle of Tommy Shaw. Which includes

5:00

some sticks, but mostly Tommy show a solo.

5:02

Okay. I

5:05

then on the way back, by the way, listened to a shuffle of

5:07

the our friend my friend, dogs, the sunshine

5:09

boys. I brought them up in the past -- Yeah.

5:11

--

5:11

Chicago band that they're no longer together, sadly.

5:14

But that was I'll

5:17

say this. It did it I was maybe four

5:19

songs in when I realized, I'm

5:22

not thinking about anything with this music.

5:24

And just full of joy. You know what I mean? Like,

5:26

just, you know, everything all the

5:28

shit that went on over the weekend, all the crap,

5:30

you know, in in

5:33

in our personal lives, whatever bad stuff, you know, we

5:35

ain't caring about it happen, you know, just what

5:37

reason bills and so on. And then,

5:39

you know, what's going on in our

5:40

country, you know, fucking awful. Just,

5:42

you know, I I'll just a quick

5:45

side thing, how any human

5:47

beings can treat another human being that way

5:49

is sickening

5:49

them. Yeah. It's sickening. And,

5:52

obviously, just

5:55

horrific. Just if if you had not watched

5:57

that

5:57

video, don't

5:58

-- Yeah.

5:59

-- or do so you can see how

6:01

fucking people have to live afraid of the lives.

6:03

Yeah. I'm so torn I have not watched it,

6:05

guys.

6:05

It's just like didn't want it's like you

6:08

by now, we just know what it is, you

6:10

know, reading about it. I just It's

6:12

it's it's but then there's the

6:14

counterargument. No. You should watch it to

6:16

bear witness to

6:17

Yeah.

6:18

It's the horror and and not not

6:20

turn away from it because that's what we're dealing

6:22

with and and we need to not be numb to it.

6:24

It's awful. I agree a hundred percent what

6:26

you just said. And that thank you for saying

6:28

it more eloquently than I was saying it because I always got

6:31

it wrapped up in emotion, but I came back

6:33

from my show. It's not gonna I'll get back to Jackson.

6:35

It's a fun comedy. And

6:37

of course, that's they had while was in Pardo,

6:40

that's when they released the video. I I was

6:42

at the club, that's when they released the video. And then

6:44

all the news outlets were showing it. And

6:47

It was it just I just was rattled.

6:49

You know what I mean? Just rattled. I and

6:52

and at one point in on MSNBC, when

6:54

it was on for the first time. I went nope. And

6:56

then just the button I pressed then

6:59

went to the next station, which was CNN, and they

7:01

were always showing it just at a little different

7:03

time. Right. And it just was

7:05

just I mean, it brought honestly, I don't want to

7:07

be over emotional, but it brought me to literally

7:09

teared up. Because again, I don't understand

7:12

how people can treat another living person

7:14

that way. No. In any I don't I just don't get

7:16

it. No. You don't anyhow.

7:20

I talked about my dick on the stage. The

7:25

alright. I arrived in Paris, Texas. I then get

7:27

to the to the club. Sold out

7:29

standing room only. Nice. Part

7:31

of the Tower comedy festival. Again, this is my first

7:33

other than the Flapper shows -- Mhmm. -- which

7:35

admittedly are very loose. Even looser than

7:37

my usual loose show. Mhmm. A

7:40

little more, you know, casual as I guess, a better way to

7:42

put the the flapper shows. But this was the

7:44

first time on stage with, you know, in front of you know,

7:46

an audience that, you know, some may not

7:48

know who the hell I even am. And

7:51

great.

7:51

Awesome. Good to be out there. Good to be, you know, if

7:53

there's any are even for me saying,

7:56

you know, III you

7:57

know, when other things bookings, that sort of vibe

7:59

-- Yeah. -- this the time on stage is

8:01

a win.

8:02

Yeah. Just a win. You know, it's an hour

8:04

where, I literally, for an hour, don't think about any

8:06

of my pains, my aches, my ailments.

8:09

Yeah. You know, again, what's going out of the world?

8:11

For that hour, on stage is just me being

8:13

a fucking buffoon. Yeah. And luckily,

8:15

people seem to enjoy it. And I've

8:19

great number. I've never not funny fans, came to Pardo,

8:21

Texas on. Frisco,

8:24

Texas, which I I

8:26

insist was named after the character from dental

8:28

hospital. I insisted, and I don't

8:30

think I didn't do seventy five minutes on

8:32

that. In my one hour set, I stay how many

8:34

people stand after fifteen after the show is over

8:36

to talk

8:36

more about it. A couple other things to say

8:38

about. Guys, what you're not hearing is that, guys. Jack Wagner,

8:41

guys. I think a putt. I think a putt.

8:43

I think I think a putt on our for

8:45

charity. One

8:47

I believe her name was Heidi from from Shreveport.

8:51

Oh,

8:51

she came all the way from Shreveport. Oh,

8:53

she came all the way from Shreveport. Her

8:56

Laser Queen shirt. Oh, let me

8:58

know she's a fan. Another guy, this I think his

9:00

name was Nick, the balls of this, to go

9:02

to

9:02

Paris, Texas with a go fuck your gun shirt

9:04

on. I Nice. Wow. I got not got lot

9:06

of you.

9:07

Ballsy. Was he a big person?

9:09

Yeah. I

9:10

wouldn't say he's particularly big. He

9:11

was, you know, he's obviously everybody's bigger than me, but

9:14

he could could he defend himself in a fist?

9:17

No. I think he'd lose. Oh, no. I think he could.

9:19

I think well, but again, he's in Paris,

9:21

Texas, so I I don't think he's got a shot. These

9:23

are -- Yeah. -- these are fellows that,

9:25

you know, they they their wives

9:27

said,

9:27

honey, don't wear the red hat to the show. It

9:30

is a you you drive through Paris. You're

9:33

seeing let's go Brandon

9:35

flags on lawns. You

9:37

know, Trump twenty twenty four flags

9:39

on lawn

9:40

funds. Well, the reason why Jimmy is because that

9:42

joke was always funny and never gets old.

9:45

Also, I'm

9:47

I'm not bored with you, but I also wanna say this because it

9:49

infuriating me as I was driving down this path and

9:51

seeing all that, it

9:52

doesn't even it sounded funny. Yeah. And it

9:54

and it to your point, and it makes zero

9:56

sense. You're you -- Right. -- you're fucking done.

9:58

You you you'll magga idiots or from what you're

10:00

done to begin with. And if you think let's go branded

10:02

as funny or or is making some statement,

10:05

you're

10:05

dumb. The other thing it's doing for them,

10:07

which I think we just validated

10:10

the this perspective is that

10:12

it makes

10:13

us mad. Okay. So if if

10:15

we don't if we don't react to it, maybe

10:18

that's exactly

10:18

But it makes I don't think it made it makes us better

10:20

for on different level. But there's they're

10:23

it's

10:23

just stupid. Yeah. Like, I'm not, like, up at

10:25

night when why are they doing this to me?

10:27

Or why are they doing this to mister Biden?

10:29

Yeah. Like, it's

10:30

not that. Right. It makes be mad because you don't

10:32

get comedy. That's really what it is. It's lazy.

10:34

Except for the fine folks who are here into my show and they seem

10:36

to understand. Anyway,

10:39

great time. Had a great time at some and then

10:41

the following day alright. So

10:43

I did I was the headliner. I think Billie d

10:45

Washington was on Thursday. I it's the festival.

10:47

He was the headliner. I I hope I get that name wrong.

10:49

Right? If I'm wrong, I apologize to that gentleman.

10:52

I was the Friday night headliner. This was the

10:54

fifth anniversary, by the way. Oh, cool.

10:57

I was there at the third

10:59

end of at the third

11:01

year, and then I was back for the

11:03

fifth year anniversary. So I was there for the

11:05

festival. Right? But you've

11:06

been doing shows in Pardo, Texas for a long

11:08

time. I've done a lot of shows in Paris, but was there for

11:10

the twenty nine twenty

11:13

twenty Festival. Gotcha.

11:15

February first was the last time I was on stage. Yeah.

11:17

Yeah. And then February second, I was in the emergency room

11:19

while the Super Bowl was

11:20

on. And then my my health worth of

11:22

shit at the same time that we locked down.

11:24

I guess I I thought that that you must have

11:26

been a part of all of them because you had done

11:29

Daryl's

11:30

club. It Actually, outside of that

11:32

festival for for years, I thought. I think this

11:34

was my fifth time there. Okay. Two

11:36

as part of the festival, then three just me.

11:39

Do we standing up? Gotcha. And

11:41

then the next day and I did this the last time I was

11:43

there too. Is it so the next day oh, sorry. We're tied

11:45

glasses, the headliner -- Yeah. -- for the Saturday night.

11:48

So let's call it

11:51

ten o'clock in the morning. I go to take advantage of

11:53

the free breakfast. And then, you know, with the intent

11:55

of scampering back to my room. Mhmm. And

11:57

I opened up my door. At the same time, Todd's

12:00

opening his door, and we

12:02

both decide and literally within like,

12:05

at the exact same time, just and again, you

12:07

you couldn't script it. To pretend

12:10

that we don't see the other guy and try to pretend

12:12

like we we're like we're gonna avoid the other like,

12:14

and then go, It

12:17

was a big hug. It was

12:19

it was brilliant. It was I I even know I'm

12:21

involved with it. It was it was just wonderful

12:23

fun comedy for nobody but do it each.

12:25

Right. Right. We then went downstairs,

12:27

got the free breakfast, yeah, glad to hand it some some

12:29

comics, and then at noon,

12:33

they catered a lunch over at the the

12:35

venue -- Mhmm. -- as a local barbecue

12:38

place catered lunch. then at one clock, there

12:40

was the panel with Daryl Todd and myself,

12:42

where the young comics could ask questions

12:45

about the industry and so

12:47

on and so forth. And it It's

12:50

it's AII other

12:52

festivals might do that, but they do it

12:54

with famous people. Mhmm. And

12:57

Look, even even I'm a little far removed

12:59

from how do you get in with a booker? How do you

13:01

you know, because I've had a booking agent for

13:03

thirty years now. And, you know, I've got

13:05

this podcast, so I do have a little bit of a name.

13:07

But I'm not Jim

13:10

Gaffigan. I'm not Brian Regan. So when they

13:12

do it, you know, I'm I I they're the last one

13:14

I saw was Louis CK of all people, but

13:16

even look you know, they're they're telling out arenas.

13:18

Right. And so when young people when they're having a

13:20

panel on how to succeed in comedy,

13:23

they're they're really far removed from helping

13:26

somebody who is going from open mic to booking.

13:28

And maybe it's a different world from back

13:30

when I mean, and and this might be a little bit true

13:32

for you too, but it's definitely true. Like,

13:34

the world has changed a lot since guys like

13:37

Jim Gaffigan had to figure

13:39

that out for

13:39

themselves. What what hundred percent? And and you

13:41

nailed it. And I told Danielle the same thing. Like,

13:44

even some of the questions were like, 0II

13:46

don't know. Right. I can't I I

13:48

literally cannot help you because time

13:51

has you

13:51

know, I I don't wanna say I'm a dinosaur, but

13:54

-- Yeah. -- it's a different landscape.

13:56

But it's also just the the landscape has

13:58

changed very quickly. Yes. To me,

14:00

it seems like I mean, in the last twenty

14:02

years, it's just so

14:04

different. There was no social media, twenty. There was no social

14:06

media. And and that was a big part of the questioning.

14:08

And and and great. By the way, all these yeah.

14:10

I in my are these young people that

14:12

were willing to put ego and

14:15

pride aside and ask

14:17

very vulnerable questions. I

14:21

think that shows in my opinion that

14:23

you really care about the craft. If you're

14:25

willing to maybe take a risk and ask you question

14:27

that others might laugh at you about. Yeah.

14:29

And nobody did that really. They they all were really

14:31

great questions, but I've been

14:34

that I've been a young comic -- Mhmm. -- where I've

14:36

been in Pardo with, like, established comics

14:38

or I've been hanging out with Paul Reiser and other people

14:40

like, I wanna ask questions, but at the same

14:42

time, I don't

14:42

remember myself. I look like I don't know what I'm doing.

14:44

I'm a professional comedian too. Right? Right, Paul.

14:46

We're hanging out. Right. And these

14:48

none of these ladies or gentlemen maybe

14:51

somewhere quiet and for other but others were like,

14:53

I wanna fucking learn and you and Todd Glass

14:55

are in the business. Yeah. And, yes, you're not selling

14:57

that arenas. That makes your answers better than

14:59

those guys. Mhmm. And they were it was really

15:02

great. And it's always nice to meet all these young

15:04

comics who are and the and the guys that were on

15:06

my show were all

15:06

very, very funny, very different voices, four different

15:09

voices.

15:11

And

15:11

it was great.

15:12

How much time did Todd spend on curtains on

15:14

his

15:14

side? You know what? He he Somebody Chris

15:16

Grace was in the audience, by the way, Chris Grace was there.

15:18

And

15:19

Chris kinda let him into it.

15:22

And then Todd said, I know I guess thing. I'm not gonna

15:24

bore people with that. That's not what this is, is it? But

15:27

but then he went on

15:28

and on about it. And he

15:32

and I busted his balls and Darryl busted

15:34

his balls. But, you know, here's the thing. Everything

15:37

Todd says about that is right. Yeah. Yeah. He's

15:39

not wrong about any of it. You

15:41

know, it's you know, even if something

15:43

is simple and this what Todd brought up at

15:45

the thing is even

15:47

throwing tablecloths on the tables,

15:50

it's not that big of an expense, but boy does it make a

15:52

big

15:52

difference? Mhmm. And it really does. Yeah.

15:55

Visualy and acoustically. Visualy. Acoustically.

15:58

Yeah. You're right. And

16:00

it was, you know, you say this often. I

16:02

and and

16:03

honestly, it makes me feel very good that your

16:05

best days are when you're able to make me laugh. And

16:08

and and

16:08

And when Todd and I were doing this thing, there's a fact Darryl

16:10

sent me a photograph. Whatever I'm saying, Todd's next

16:12

to me doing that.

16:14

No. That makes me happier. And nothing

16:16

makes me happier. It it really is. It it

16:18

it truly like he he's one of those guys

16:20

that for me, when I'm able to make when

16:22

I'm able to tickle him -- Mhmm. -- I feel great

16:24

about it. Mhmm. And So we had

16:27

a nice time doing that, and then I hop to my car, listen to the

16:29

sunshine boys, and, you know, through

16:31

the Trump, let's call

16:33

Brandon flag, obstacle course. Got

16:37

to the airport. For reasons to do this

16:39

second, I don't understand. I booked an eight forty

16:41

two at night flight. In fact, I know why.

16:43

I did it for safety in case

16:46

the one o'clock panel was gonna

16:48

be at two o'clock or three, like, for if they had to

16:50

change that, I had some cushion

16:51

Right. -- no one stayed right at one o'clock

16:53

like he said it was gonna be. Mhmm. And

16:55

so I got to the airport four hours early.

16:58

Okay. And with the hope

17:00

of getting on maybe the seven o'clock flight,

17:02

no nice. So I

17:04

had four hours to kill at Dallas

17:06

Fort Worth -- Mhmm. -- and, you know,

17:08

a lot of walking

17:09

around. I will admit this. I'm gonna admit

17:11

something to you guys. Ready for this?

17:13

Mhmm. Is this what is this gonna involve

17:15

you eating something that you said you weren't gonna eat in two

17:17

thousand twenty three?

17:18

No. Oh, okay. But it doesn't involve eating

17:19

because there's a lot of temptations in that effort.

17:22

There are a lot of gay first of all,

17:25

there were delicious look, you know, I'm no doughnut

17:27

for twenty three. Yeah.

17:28

That that the rack of doughnuts at the

17:30

doughnut shop. Maybe go That's not January.

17:33

I'm gonna start in February. Like, it was it was

17:35

that. Yeah. And I went no, but I did

17:37

eat An entire bag.

17:39

Oh, boy. Of

17:42

for six ninety nine for the bag. Nerd

17:45

gummies. Wow.

17:48

I ate an entire bag of that for seven

17:50

I spent seven dollars on it and

17:52

ate it like it was I think I was it was was a

17:56

a Aukerman eating grapes off a fucking dish

17:59

off a platter. Just enjoying

18:01

each traffic in my mouth and enjoying

18:03

it. What does it you have one right there,

18:05

Elliot? What's the how much Can

18:07

I guess, is it one seventy per serving

18:09

and then there's five servings in there? Is

18:11

it something like

18:12

that? Alright. So No. It's

18:14

one ten plus or it's seven servings. What

18:16

is it? According to this, ace there's

18:19

eight servings in this container. Okay. Serving

18:22

size is sixteen pieces. Yeah.

18:24

Or for some

18:25

reason, even though this package is announces,

18:28

thirty grams. So

18:29

I don't know how to be using. Yeah. Well,

18:31

how many it says that up at the top, how many servings

18:33

are to bed? So so this is an eight ounce. So

18:35

it's an ounce per serving. So

18:38

you got a how big of a bag? It's got a it's

18:40

that bag. Oh, it's this bag. Alright. So you Eight

18:42

eight servings. So You got eight servings of this. So

18:44

you had three days worth of calories.

18:47

Give or take. Wait. I had six

18:49

thousand

18:50

calories. Well, let's see. Well, let me look at let me look

18:52

at the calories. That can't be there. It's not accurate.

18:54

It's a hundred it's eight hundred calories. Yeah. It was eight hundred

18:56

calories.

18:56

Yeah. That would be insane. Yeah. It wouldn't be two

18:58

hundred calories.

18:59

Well, I'm

18:59

just trying to think I was kind of thinking about, like, with

19:01

its eight servings, versus

19:04

What's eight times a

19:04

hundred? Eight hundred. No. No. No.

19:06

But I'm just saying that, like, I don't necessarily

19:09

trust that the the the calorie

19:11

value is the only measure here. Because

19:13

because they how do you decide the serving

19:15

size? It's based on something where you should only have eight

19:18

of them in

19:18

some, like, maybe Like

19:20

a serving size is per meal, I would guess.

19:22

But

19:23

not with snacks or no. Yeah. Well,

19:25

then what does it mean? It means if you have sixteen

19:27

of them, that's one serving of that particular

19:29

treat. It's kind of arbitrary with candy, but I

19:31

think they just want, like, the average person would

19:33

probably just take, like, you know, four or

19:35

five of those and eat them and be

19:36

good. No.

19:37

No. You eat

19:38

bag. That's

19:39

what the average person does. average person buys that thing

19:41

and they get on a fucking airplane and they throw goddamn

19:43

bag. Well,

19:44

it's definitely almost half a days worth

19:45

calories. Oh, there's no question.

19:47

It's a lot of guys. It's ridiculous. Yeah.

19:50

But four hours at an airport, bored

19:52

out of your freaking mind, and knowing I

19:54

was gonna get a meal on the plane. That was the other thing. It's

19:57

like, I don't wanna get I don't wanna get real

19:59

food, but I have to eat something. Yeah.

20:01

And look, here is the intent. Was they have

20:03

five of them? And then -- You can't

20:05

do it. -- maybe an hour later, have another two. And then maybe,

20:07

you know

20:08

That's too big a bag to be selling in the airport.

20:10

Stange's bag. I don't like that. So you should

20:12

be selling a bag with sixteen

20:14

of

20:14

them. Yeah. There were two or three servings.

20:16

Alright. I'm gonna be the pendant pendant pendant

20:19

here. Of course. I'm gonna kick you in the fucking face. But

20:21

just just towards what I was trying to say,

20:23

It's forty two percent of your daily allowance of

20:26

sugar. Yeah. Nope. Nobody's just agreeing with you on. But what

20:28

I'm saying is if it's forty two percent of your daily allowance,

20:30

that's actually If you do eight

20:32

servings, that's four days essentially or

20:34

three and a half. Worth of sugar,

20:38

which was kind of the point I was trying to make.

20:41

It's not the point of all you were trying to make. You were trying

20:43

to make a point, then was three days of meals.

20:45

Well, I was going by serving size because

20:47

it's what's a serving a serving is, if you have three

20:49

meals a day, you But it's not a

20:51

meal. No. But it's not but it's at a meal.

20:53

No one's saying it's

20:54

a dessert treat. Right. Let's say you have

20:56

a dessert at every meal. You would have three

20:58

desserts in a day. Give or take. But

21:00

but the point that here's the insidious thing about

21:02

candy and sugar it's it's

21:05

like way like, that's way

21:07

worse than eating. Like, if you ate

21:09

three thousand calories of you

21:11

know, popcorn or the just plain popcorn

21:14

or like a a, you know, a steak or

21:16

something. Right. That's not gonna hit your system

21:18

the way that much sugar hits your

21:20

system. Right.

21:20

Because it's forty two percent of your daily -- Right.

21:22

-- daily allowance of times eight.

21:24

Yeah. Yeah. So Which

21:26

is street agent meals. If you can say it one fucking

21:28

tongue. But that's my point. It's not

21:29

meals. It's not meals.

21:31

Karen, if you say one more word in this episode,

21:33

I swear to God.

21:35

Afraid to be the match. The

21:37

match free. What do you you're talking about? The fuse.

21:39

I think the fuse will let the the

21:42

whole in Canada

21:43

gasoline. It's it's whizzing around the room.

21:45

Yeah. I don't I don't know that there hasn't been an explosion

21:47

yet. It's been a like a forex blow. All you could do

21:49

is throw a blanket on this and calm it down.

21:52

Yeah. And just say that you

21:54

you just

21:54

go, yeah. Candy's good. That's all you understand.

21:58

Is good.

21:58

Candy's delicious?

21:59

Yeah. It is. And when you're traveling, you're

22:01

you're you're not in your right mind to see you eat a lot

22:03

of candies. That's the Yeah. I'm in that's why I sent

22:05

them embarrassed me a minute. I hate the whole goddamn bag. No.

22:07

I I didn't know fucking You know,

22:10

doctor Oz was gonna get involved with

22:12

his, you know, in Vermont then suck it up your asshole

22:15

bullshit. Did

22:15

you know that doctor Oz has star on the Hollywood

22:17

Walk of Fame. That's and rightfully so.

22:20

You know what? Somebody else just got one too that I

22:22

was like, you know, I understand how it

22:24

works. But when you see that there's other

22:27

true celebrities that don't have one

22:29

that you've got, it's doctor

22:31

Oz should not have one. There is also somebody

22:33

in my world who's a friend of mine, that

22:35

has one. I will not say the name, but a friend

22:37

of mine has a star and I think it's

22:39

complete ridiculous nonsense. Garen's

22:42

going right to the Internet for this one. Don't

22:44

think ever figure it out. I don't think he will ever figure

22:46

it

22:46

out. And it's not my father-in-law who I do think

22:48

-- Yeah. -- I just deserved a half hundred percent.

22:50

He's an icon. Mhmm. By the way,

22:52

I was watching an interview with Eddie Murphy

22:54

on on Kimball, and he I didn't

22:57

realize this. He's like a huge Star Trek fan.

22:59

And so, like, Don let me, like, Eddie Murphy

23:01

like, knows who your father-in-law

23:03

is. Like, if he saw your father-in-law, he'd be like, oh

23:05

my god. He get excited about it. Yeah. Alright.

23:07

So what I got What I gotta do is bring as I gotta

23:10

go to that coffee shop that Eddie Murphy hangs out

23:12

at. With Walter -- Yeah. -- coffee bean and tea leaf. Yeah.

23:14

So I just do. Hey, Walter. Hey, hey, maybe

23:16

there for coffee. Yeah. And then I use

23:18

him as bait. Yeah. And then Eddie comes over

23:20

and does that

23:22

laugh of his. Mhmm. And then I go, hey, any

23:24

sudden I'm appearing on my podcast, wrote your new

23:26

movie, and he doesn't hear a way he pretends he doesn't

23:28

hear me, and then just shakes Walter's hand and moves

23:30

on. The other thing you this would this is

23:32

pertains to you having, like, him being here

23:35

and you guys having someone in common to

23:37

talk

23:37

about, he's also a huge fan of

23:39

Planet of the apes. Well,

23:40

that I could talk about. Yeah. can't talk about no.

23:42

No. No. I know you're the one second.

23:44

That's the connect. That's how you get him in. But then

23:46

you guys, once he's here, you can talk about plan

23:48

of the ifs. Apparently, he and Tracy Morgan

23:50

just randomly text lines

23:52

of dialogue from Planet of the

23:53

ifs. I

23:54

can relate to each other. Yeah. You know what? III

23:56

can't do that. That's okay. I mean, Dana Gould

23:58

can do that. Yeah. You could still talk to him about

24:00

you. Let me let me tell you something very very

24:02

behind that. I'm gonna pull the curtain back. You don't

24:05

like believe I've never liked that movie.

24:07

Please stop sending me plan to the airbags. No.

24:09

If if we were told next Monday,

24:12

if we were even told tomorrow at eight

24:14

AM, Eddie Murphy, it's the only time he wants

24:16

to he he has to do your show, but he wants to do your show tomorrow

24:18

at eight AM. I don't sleep tonight. I'm gonna

24:20

watch every plan to eat movie for

24:22

ready for

24:23

it. To get ready, And then and maybe

24:26

coming to America too. Well,

24:30

now now you have to watch you

24:31

people. Let's thing he's promoting. Yeah.

24:34

Mhmm. Karen's got

24:37

an opinion

24:37

about that. Jack. Jack. Just watch it.

24:40

I didn't I didn't wanna touch candy, but he's ready

24:42

to go go to battle for this one. They want to sorry.

24:44

Don't don't don't don't like this match either. Yeah.

24:47

Gary, I guess, earns got their views on this. Nobody

24:49

else in the room has seen it yet now. But for

24:51

take speaking of television, we'll quickly we'll get

24:54

back to the celebrity sightings. Mhmm.

24:57

Everybody can stop tweeting or sending me

24:59

emails about poker

25:03

face being the new Columbus. You could please,

25:05

I'm begging of you to stop sending that to me. I

25:07

thank

25:08

you. I mean that sincerely. I thank you, but

25:10

I got it now. You will watch it. And we have watched

25:12

it. Uh-huh. And we love it. Oh, great.

25:14

Okay. It's great. So is it what's her name as

25:16

the as the detective? It's Natasha. She's not an detective.

25:18

Okay. It is just written

25:20

Sean Cassidy tweeted out about it because his father

25:23

was on many episodes of

25:24

Columbus. No. And a young Steven Spielberg

25:26

directed one of those episodes.

25:27

Oh, cool. A twenty four year old Steven Spielberg

25:30

directed Jack Cassidy in one episode

25:32

of Columbus. But Sean made the

25:34

point of it's the hardest mystery to

25:36

write where you'd know that you know the killer and

25:38

then you got you

25:39

know, so you're in on it, but then they have to write it. So

25:41

at least it's still interesting to watch. Yeah.

25:43

I saw Ryan Johnson say it's it's not a who

25:45

done it. It's a who done

25:46

it. Which is Columbus. Yeah. And

25:49

at one point, there was a in the

25:51

in the opening episode, there was something where I went,

25:53

wait a minute. And I literally said, I go,

25:56

Ryan Johnson, ain't making that mistake? No. No.

25:58

No. It's how to write this type of this genre.

26:00

He gets it. He's not gonna

26:03

screw something up. Where we're gonna

26:05

catch it. Right. Right. Right. You know, we

26:07

can have into viewing. Anyway, watch it. It's great.

26:09

Okay. Cool. I

26:10

admittedly, was a little Natashaally owned out

26:13

Did

26:13

you what's the one where she's living the

26:15

same day? Did you watch that?

26:16

Is that Russian Russian dog? You know,

26:18

I didn't because I was a little touched on it going

26:20

out. Right. That 1II

26:23

never finished. I I liked it and then I

26:25

didn't have been on the life got in the way

26:27

I

26:27

guess. There's and there's a lot to watch. There's

26:29

lot of things to watch. Anyway, I like that very much

26:31

first episode. Okay. But

26:33

again, calling all cars, you do not need

26:36

to know about it any anymore. Anyway,

26:40

I interrupted you five things ago.

26:42

No. No. No. You were going to get on the airplane

26:44

going coming home from Oh, that was that

26:46

it? The nerds. You ate too many ate I ate

26:48

a lot of nerds, and I I got on the plane, and then that's

26:50

where that prick -- Okay. -- was on

26:52

the getting on the plane

26:54

going there, by the way, you know, my backpack has

26:57

III don't know why I've

26:59

chosen to do this, but I do. I've got all of the

27:01

enamel pins that, you know,

27:03

all the number not funny enamel pins, the Jimmy's records

27:05

of tapes, enamel pins, the GDPAROTORE and

27:08

AML PINs. Mhmm. Also, there's a

27:10

white Sox and a kiss and a Journey in Chicago.

27:12

Okay. And so the guy sat next

27:14

to me and he goes, on the plane. He goes, hey,

27:16

I happen to be behind your line, and I was

27:18

trying to figure out all of your pins. And I said,

27:20

oh, yeah. What'd you come up with? He goes, I came

27:22

up with nothing. Not

27:24

even kiss. Doesn't even no kiss. I said, I go,

27:26

well, it's a lot of, you know, it's a lot of pop

27:28

culture, you know, and because because,

27:30

yeah, lot of pins.

27:33

That was it. That was it. He was

27:35

a very nice man. You know, we we were so

27:37

cordless with each other and didn't and

27:40

the the flight

27:41

chat. Mhmm. I mean, there was

27:43

very little more, but the, you know, which was

27:45

even that was more than I usually do. Mhmm.

27:48

This was not one of the celebrities. This was not

27:50

one of the celebrities. The celebrities, one

27:52

sat two rows behind me, directly behind

27:54

me, one sat one row behind me across the

27:56

aisle. Put same plate. Same flight. Way

27:58

home. Way there.

28:00

Way there. Way there. That's

28:02

enough. Shut it down. Yeah.

28:05

Let's go with the first one. Matthew McConaughey.

28:07

Okay.

28:09

Let's go with the first

28:11

one. Let's go the first one will be

28:13

the first III saw this gentleman

28:16

waiting to get on the plane. Okay.

28:19

And you don't even go. Is that

28:22

It's him. It's him.

28:23

All the way to Texas actor. He is an

28:25

actor.

28:26

Is he is he connected to Texas in some way?

28:28

Or we Not that I'm aware of. Not that

28:29

I'm aware Maybe from there. I don't know.

28:31

Mhmm. But over fifty. Yeah.

28:34

Over sixty. Maybe. Okay.

28:37

So in that box I would say between because

28:39

don't know. Between fifty five Between sixty five

28:41

and seventy 500, wow. There's a chance he's

28:43

seventy years old. Okay. Maybe even seventy

28:46

2II don't

28:46

know.

28:46

Is this guy a movie star? No. TV

28:49

star. TV actor. No.

28:51

He was a star. He was a star. He was a star. He was

28:53

a star. He was a star. No. Seventies.

28:55

Yes. Seventies TV star.

28:57

Yeah. But still working? No. Oh,

28:59

no. Not Yeah. Not not in the way that

29:01

we know them. Okay. It'd be working. He does

29:03

he does

29:04

work. Is it dramatic? Mhmm.

29:06

Comedic. No. An

29:09

actor, but but sort of like Yeah. There

29:11

could but but was he on comedies

29:13

or dramas? Comedy or Like, I guess,

29:15

you'd call it a drama, but it's not drama in the

29:17

sense that we know drama. Yeah. Yeah. So I It's an

29:19

hour

29:19

long. Okay. It's

29:20

episodic. So more of like a

29:22

primetime soap. Yeah.

29:24

You know, way in a way. So Not really.

29:26

In my head, eight is enough

29:28

enough to wash in the world.

29:29

Is it that kinda show though? Because that didn't have a laugh

29:31

track. It is not. Okay. It is

29:33

not. It's

29:34

an hour long It

29:34

seems like a Hill Street Blues type. It is

29:36

not. But you're not far off? Is is

29:38

it some kind of procedural? So

29:41

so legal, protectives, detectives? Yes.

29:44

Yes. Okay. Yes. Seventies,

29:46

though. That's not my wheelhouse. So Is

29:48

it is it is it was Yana show that you

29:50

watched during the pandemic? No. No.

29:53

Because I I don't think it's very good.

29:55

Okay. Is that more like

29:57

an action? I tried, by the way. Oh, you tried. I

29:59

tried. So

30:00

Street to San Francisco?

30:01

No. I'm loving that. I got that. I got the DVD

30:03

set for Christmas, and I'm enjoying it very very much.

30:06

Okay. Ghost and missing beer occurs to me.

30:08

And

30:08

by the way, if I saw one of the stars of Street in

30:10

San Francisco, there were two. Carl Malden, so that'd be

30:12

amazing because he's dead. Right. And Michael

30:14

Douglas would be holy

30:16

shit. Is that Michael Douglas? Yeah. Like it'd

30:18

be yeah. Teresa said San Francisco

30:20

would be the fourth credits that I would

30:23

suggest

30:23

to. Wasn't like starshade hunch.

30:25

You're again, you're not far off, but it's not

30:28

that. So it's not CAGNY and Lace. I will tell you

30:30

I had this poster on my wall.

30:31

Oh, wow. My squad?

30:33

Gary, if you're good at play play series.

30:37

I'm

30:37

gonna

30:37

like that fucking match over that. I mean,

30:39

Mission Mission Impossible is more 60s. Yeah.

30:41

guys were closer with kai Cup. Right? Cup.

30:44

I can't think of other I know there's million

30:46

of them, but can't think of other My

30:49

my only knowledge of those shows is from

30:51

bestie boys

30:51

lyrics, and so I'm going to the

30:53

main character,

30:53

but did the main character have a bird?

30:56

It was not Robert Blake. Okay, Margaret. It was not

30:58

Robert Blake. Is he alive? Robert Blake is

31:00

alive. Is he in prison? He is

31:02

not. He went to prison to get out.

31:06

That was another thing that Jimmy

31:08

Kimmel showed Eddie

31:10

Murphy. It was a photograph of

31:13

Eddie Murphy, Julie Louie Dreyfus,

31:15

and Robert Blake in a sketch on us and all

31:17

together. Oh, boy. And he was like, whoa.

31:19

He was like, don't remember that at all. He,

31:22

I guess, Julia was on the show

31:24

recently. He showed it to her too. And so

31:26

they were trying to figure out, like, what

31:28

was going on in

31:29

sketch. don't think they ever figured it out. It seems like you could probably

31:31

Google that. I'd probably get answer on that really

31:33

quickly. Or just call Robert Blake. He'd

31:35

be more than happy to ride by him. He

31:38

was great tonight show guest Robert Blake because

31:40

he's, you know, he's a little nuts. Mhmm. And

31:42

may or may not have murdered his wife.

31:45

That's

31:45

a good story. I thought it was pretty clear

31:47

that he did. Yeah. But I I think he got

31:49

the it was didn't he get civil?

31:52

Is what he gone? Criminal he

31:53

didn't. Well, he wouldn't

31:54

have gone to do you go jail for something else? I don't

31:55

know if we think he might have gone to jail for

31:57

something else. Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't

32:00

remember that. It kind of I don't remember. I was that

32:02

case got a by other bigger,

32:03

like, OJ -- Yeah. -- other things that were much more

32:06

salacious than crazy. Which is crazy because

32:08

we've been to Vitilos. We Yeah. Native

32:10

Atelos, you think that would be more

32:12

Yeah.

32:12

But at the time, I had like, when that case was

32:14

happening, I had no idea Robert was. Not

32:16

your

32:17

and for me, Loretta was my show.

32:19

Yeah. But so was it that kind

32:21

of a show like there's one main person?

32:23

No. Was it ensemble?

32:25

Ensemble is a very strong word. But there was a

32:27

more than hair. There's a pair of team. There we go.

32:29

Come That's what I'm trying to think of

32:31

the other. Right? It's not Starzky and Hutch, but,

32:33

like, give some other names where it's two names. It's not

32:35

two names. It's not Oh, so it's

32:36

not the ghost of missus Meurer, which I said in Youganard.

32:39

Oh, I didn't ignore it. You

32:40

heard it, man. I I guess I ignored it.

32:44

It's not two names, but it's two people.

32:46

So I've I've just, like, iron side, it's

32:48

not

32:49

it's that side? That's eighties.

32:51

No. It's it's in the in the end of the this

32:53

may have bled into the eighties. It may have. I

32:55

I don't know how many

32:56

seasons

32:56

this thing was on. Wait.

32:58

That's not

32:58

so If we know this guy from anything else It may have

33:00

started

33:01

in nineteen No. No. It was in the seventies.

33:03

Did did he do anything else that we know?

33:04

You know him for you know him for one thing, but it's not

33:07

fair to to say that. It was like a

33:09

commercial or is he like a spokesman? He maybe

33:11

but that's not what I'm thinking of. Okay. Was

33:13

it some public humiliation that he

33:15

suffered? No. Okay.

33:17

I'll tell you this. This won't help you. I

33:23

It was on for seventy seven eighty three. So

33:26

that's not around twelve. It's around twelve years older than I'll

33:28

tell you this. I worked with his cousin Kate when

33:30

I worked at the warehouse in Pasadena. Oh,

33:32

that does not make sense. With his cousin Kate.

33:35

And by the way, I've seen this guy around town.

33:38

Maybe ten times since I've looked at, oh, wow.

33:40

One was in the very first week when Pat Francis

33:42

and I went to

33:44

Toys R Us because he had a buyout action figures

33:46

from short, and I had nothing else to do

33:48

if it's a little under your path. Maybe

33:50

both. And this and by the way, we saw

33:52

this guy towards the rest more than once. One

33:55

time standing by a

33:56

dumpster. Well, I'm

33:58

sure you've told that survey before seven

33:59

now. I'm trying to, like yeah. I'll never remember. It's

34:02

it's it's It's we

34:04

all know this guy's name, though. You know you know

34:06

his name, and you know his you you

34:08

would all you were if any of you had seen him, you

34:10

would have come in and said, I've got a celebrity's arm, man.

34:13

He was he was huge. I mean, posters,

34:15

game

34:16

shows, like, he was he

34:18

was huge for those years. Karen,

34:20

you have to shut up. You're really

34:21

getting in my way. I'm

34:22

I just can't think of any But but I'll

34:24

say that he was huge, and then nothing.

34:28

And I mean and I'm serious. But nothing

34:30

weird. Nothing. I I keep

34:32

only

34:32

thinking of, like, eight eighties.

34:34

You're the only person, LA, because you're

34:36

older. I feel like you have a better shot at thinking

34:39

of

34:39

right now. And you were up here. So it

34:41

it should be very personal to you. Was

34:43

the show set in LA? Yes.

34:45

So it's set oh god.

34:46

So it's not Rockford Files, though, even though that was

34:48

It's not Rock again, everybody from that, I

34:50

believe, is dead. Yeah. Oh. Including

34:53

April, that's

34:53

right. The way.

34:54

Yeah. God. What else?

34:56

So I set out on twelve, but that's too old,

34:58

I think. This

34:59

was just

35:00

guessed Miami.

35:01

Yeah.

35:01

It was Miami, Bryce. Yeah. I saw Don Johnson.

35:03

It

35:03

wasn't Charlie's Angels. No. It was

35:05

not. And then DragonNet is tooled

35:07

as well. It is.

35:09

Else was I about to hear?

35:11

I I believe we've lost every listener.

35:13

Yeah. Yeah. This is infuriating. And it's

35:15

all on I feel personally responsible that I

35:17

don't have better knowledge the genre --

35:19

Animella. --

35:20

it is a you would know this because

35:22

it was it was the show was huge. And

35:24

it wasn't Autumn

35:25

New York. Does it Starsky and Hutch? But

35:28

but I thought that maybe we should, as

35:30

a park, offer NNF lozenges

35:32

-- Mhmm. --

35:33

because people are screen

35:34

for this. Yes.

35:37

Like that. Yeah. Branded lozenges. Branded

35:39

lozenges. Because you're not wrong, Erin. As ever

35:41

everybody listening is yelling

35:43

the

35:43

answer. Either either shut up or they know the answer.

35:46

One of one of the two. It's it's I

35:48

can't decide if I'm more mad at myself or Elliott

35:50

for not

35:50

I've been able to pull those. I said, you you

35:52

grew up here. I

35:53

know. And I'm trying figure out

35:54

what You guys may have seen what

35:57

it was based on on your drive here.

36:00

What

36:00

it was. Based on. Wait. I

36:01

So who which one of the sales reps? that in the

36:03

name of you? Any any of you? Any any of you? Even Garren.

36:06

Chips.

36:06

Yes. Eric Estrada.

36:09

Oh, Eric Estrada.

36:11

Wow. So Eric Estrada and they he

36:14

Right there. So some guy standing doing

36:16

by the way, I see, you know, you you see that smile

36:18

from across the fucking -- Mhmm. --

36:20

you know, he was once on a game show and

36:23

and being personality

36:25

wise. But then he when

36:28

he's they go Eric's rather than he smiles and

36:30

and Danielle turned out and goes, Oliver

36:32

right there is why that man had a career because

36:34

he is back then. And even

36:36

today, that smile is unbelievable.

36:39

Mhmm. It is. He's a star. Yeah. He's

36:41

a star. Yeah. And the guy said

36:44

I'm sorry. Are are you a technostrata? He

36:46

goes, yeah, I am. And he goes, oh, man. I

36:49

I love you. I love you growing up. You know, thank you.

36:51

It was very nice. It was me nice. It wasn't a

36:54

stallone situation. Right. But he

36:56

but he did put the period on it, like, it's and he

36:58

goes, It was long time ago. We had good times

37:00

back then. Nice to meet you. Like, he just very

37:02

pleasant, very nice. Yes. But also

37:04

wasn't going to I'm not I'm not gonna spend

37:07

thirty minutes talking about chips with you. Yeah.

37:09

Yeah. Because how many times has he been

37:11

in that situation in his life? Thousands.

37:13

Thousands if that hundreds of thousands if

37:15

that is kind of your

37:16

world. The other thing

37:17

that the other job that he does, by the way, is he's the host

37:19

of the the Hollywood

37:21

Christmas parade. Right? You should've said

37:23

that. She's like, hey, III don't really I'm

37:25

not familiar with your work, but I love you on the

37:27

parade. I see those banners and it's great

37:29

on And by the way, he's not.

37:31

Alright. The other one, here

37:33

we go quickly. Alright. Is it

37:35

go

37:35

ahead. Also a gentleman? It's also a gentleman.

37:38

Is he also on a TV cop show from the seventies?

37:42

He is not. It's Yeah. It was Larry

37:44

Wilcox. God, what a

37:46

what a how I goddamn do I wish it

37:48

was. That would have been crazy.

37:50

Would have been you not? They still talk?

37:52

I'd like to think that Larry and Eric get along.

37:54

Get I

37:55

bet they get along. I don't think they go out of their way to

37:57

to communicate. I don't think they do either. think that they

37:59

get together once a year at that Burbank

38:02

Hollywood autograph show. Right. They

38:04

sit at the table with the chip's logo behind them.

38:06

Nice conversation. Yeah. And then they go, hey, man. See

38:08

next

38:09

year. Yeah. And they go and then good stuff.

38:11

Take photographs than they move out. Yeah. Alright.

38:13

So this guy is younger than fifty?

38:18

Yes. And also I I think he

38:20

is also an actor. If he's not younger fifty, then he

38:22

just hit fifty. Okay. Also an

38:24

actor. And film? You

38:27

have seen him in film quite a bit. Yes, but also

38:29

TV. He has also done I can only

38:31

I I can think of two TV

38:32

things. I believe you got start in television.

38:34

Okay. But more known for film.

38:37

Danielle, I think would argue with that. I think

38:39

he is known for this TV show.

38:42

Okay. But I didn't know

38:43

that TV show show. I knew him from film.

38:45

Was the TV show from the nineties?

38:47

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Dawson's Creek?

38:50

No. But you're on the right path. Okay.

38:52

Bobby the very first time? No. No

38:56

drama. I believe it's drama. Yeah.

38:58

Seventh Heaven? No. 90210?

39:00

No.

39:02

Think you all watched it. You think you

39:04

all watched it. Then this guy became a movie star.

39:06

And then he went back and did TV. He

39:08

did a TV show that I watched.

39:10

Wait. Say it by the bell? No.

39:12

Oh, you did watch that. So that

39:14

was not a good guess. Okay.

39:15

I did not watch the ninety show. Right. In fact, when

39:17

I was playing this game with with

39:19

Danielle and Oliver yesterday, didn't

39:21

even think of this show. Was it that seventy show?

39:23

Well, you were on that?

39:24

No. was on that. I was certainly I would have said a little maybe

39:26

at that time. It

39:28

was a it was an hour long show, though. I don't

39:30

know. Oh, you don't even know. I don't know. Wow. It

39:32

could have been a half hour. I

39:33

think it was a half hour network. I think it was

39:36

on Fox. Oh.

39:38

I think

39:39

It was on.

39:40

A fox. And you think it was comedy? You think

39:42

it was half hour? No.

39:42

I think it was Oh, think it was an hour. III

39:45

don't know. I'm gonna

39:46

look it

39:46

up. I'll watch it.

39:47

Yeah. He knows we watched it, but he doesn't

39:49

know firefly. Yeah. I

39:51

didn't wish firefly because two thousand was

39:54

By the way, nineteen ninety nine.

39:55

This I I've just been told the start of

39:58

the first episode was September twenty fifth nineteen ninety

40:00

nine. Oh. So it's

40:01

just So it's later and

40:03

it was only on it. I I I'm told now for

40:06

maybe two seasons.

40:08

Friction Geeks? It was Friction Geeks.

40:10

Oh. Yeah. That was NBC. That was NBC.

40:12

I thought I was spot. Do you know this person? I don't.

40:14

That was at James Franco? It was James Franco.

40:16

No. No. It was James Franco. James

40:19

Franco, not unlike when I saw Patrick Dempsey

40:21

on the plane, I was not I was not looking

40:23

at the at the head of this human being because they were putting

40:25

their luggage in -- Yes. --

40:27

for me. And there

40:31

are genes that rich people wear we don't

40:33

wear. We don't have access. We don't have access to

40:35

that jeans that somehow they that

40:37

they they fit them like, their tailored jeans.

40:39

Yeah. That rich people, I don't I don't and

40:42

then a t shirt, you know, those rich people t

40:43

shirts. Yeah. And

40:45

so he had that on. I was like, I go, who the fuck is

40:47

this rich guy? And then he turns

40:49

around, oh, holy shit, James Franco. And then

40:51

James Franco sat next to another guy who I

40:53

did not recognize, but they talked shop

40:56

for the entire flight. And then when it was over,

40:58

they exchanged emails and said, let's keep in

41:01

touch.

41:01

Wow. So but I don't know him, but it was clear

41:03

that he also was an actor And

41:07

whenever that had done stuff Yeah. -- was a

41:09

Cole Sprouse. I don't

41:10

know who that is. I don't really either. He was

41:12

on friends, but as a kid, He was

41:14

he was one of Ross's one of one of the twins

41:17

that played Ross's kid.

41:19

Anyway, yeah, James Franco went

41:21

out and he was friendly to everybody. Very

41:23

friendly. But I believe he's been me

41:25

too, or whatever. Right? Like

41:26

me Yeah. He is. Not a good person. Yeah. He

41:28

did some terrible things to to women. Yeah.

41:31

So that's a that's a rough one this week. Mhmm. Hey, isn't

41:33

that fun? Yeah. But Eric Estrada,

41:35

who who knows what he did back

41:38

in the seventies? Never done. That

41:40

smile. Right? That smile. Like, you know what

41:42

you're

41:42

famous? Then that you do it. That's what I've heard

41:44

from maybe one of the most famous people in the

41:46

world. So they were on

41:48

the same flight, Erkastrada and James Franco.

41:51

Interesting. And me? Yeah. So

41:53

that that pilot must have been white knuckling. I think

41:55

this purchase Pardo. I

41:59

cannot focus

42:00

up. Yeah. He couldn't he couldn't

42:03

you didn't tell him? Yeah.

42:06

You think they say, you know, hey,

42:09

Captain, by the way, James Frank was on board.

42:10

Like one of the

42:11

An intent

42:12

just peeks her head in the cockpit, like, Franco's

42:14

here. Depending on the pilot. Like, if maybe if they

42:16

know the pilot, they know that they would care. Like, there's gotta

42:18

be pilots that don't give a

42:19

shit. Yeah. But then there's gotta be ones that do.

42:21

I think Astrada gets more excitement from the pilot

42:24

than than James Franco does. If

42:25

he's if he's a man of a certain age. He's a man of a certain

42:27

age. It's like and it's gotta be a flight

42:29

attendant age as well Yeah. -- because a, you know,

42:31

a twenty nine year old side of time is not gonna know

42:34

who that

42:34

is. Who's

42:34

either a heart. Right. Right? By the way,

42:37

the TV show I watched James Franco was on

42:39

General Hospital. Playing the

42:41

character of?

42:43

Is it any guesses? Frisco's

42:45

son? No.

42:48

I got nothing.

42:49

His character's name was. Was it lucky?

42:52

Franco.

42:55

I was gonna say James and played Franco.

42:57

He was he was so famous that

42:59

he said, I wanna be on general hospital, and

43:01

they made it happen. Oh, it was it was after

43:03

he had I kinda remember that happened. Yeah. Yeah.

43:05

So I said he went back after moving on about

43:08

Yeah. And played Franco

43:10

because he was wanted to. A friend of mine

43:12

was in an acting class with him before he

43:14

made it and he was like, this

43:17

guy is, like, crazy

43:19

he just he's crazy about acting. Like,

43:21

he just wants to be acting all the time. He's

43:23

he'll just do he'll go to every class

43:25

just

43:26

to, like, it was it's like a a guy who can't

43:28

get enough of, like, being in the gym or, you know,

43:30

in the back Correct. Or,

43:31

like and it's I'm not putting this down, Jackie

43:33

Cavanaugh or Martin. Right? Yes. Have to be doing

43:35

Yeah. Yeah. He was like that with acting.

43:37

And so even after he got freaks and geeks,

43:39

I think he would still come to the class and

43:41

stuff. Wow. He just couldn't get

43:43

enough. And that proves it that

43:45

he's, like, wanted to be

43:46

on the sofa. That's what he said. I I wanna be on the sofa. I

43:48

wanna work. Because that is the ultimate acting

43:50

experience. You're just you're you're cramming

43:52

lines in your brain every

43:54

day, every week, and you're just you're working

43:56

your ass off. It's probably

43:58

one of the

43:58

hardest things to do. And look, I don't

44:00

know. You know, I haven't talked to Jason Thompson in

44:02

a long time. Yeah. And I would

44:04

never ask this

44:05

Like, I don't know what they make. Right. But they don't

44:07

they don't make network -- No.

44:09

-- primetime television money

44:11

and they don't make movie money. They probably just make

44:13

scale.

44:14

No. Except except for except for the

44:16

leads. I would would say, you're you're right

44:18

for scale, but but I would imagine

44:20

Jason Thompson's on the show for a long time. A

44:22

contract. Oh, yeah. Nancy Le Grand or Fernola

44:24

Hughes. These people that are and

44:26

James Franco probably

44:27

got a good chunk just because it was kind of a publicity

44:29

thing for the show.

44:30

Yeah. Or Maybe he just did it for scale

44:32

because to your point, maybe he's

44:34

a movie star with money and he just wants to work.

44:36

But his agent would be like, we can get money

44:38

from them a good

44:39

video. Plus ten. Okay.

44:40

That's to cover that

44:41

agent. According to the Internet

44:43

-- Yes. -- top soap opera opera

44:46

stars can earn as as three hundred

44:48

thousand dollars or more per year, while

44:50

low level soap opera actors can earn as little as

44:52

ten thousand eight hundred and forty one dollars per

44:54

year. Oh, wow. So proper talent that falls

44:57

into the middle, receives salaries that range from fifty

44:59

two thousand to one hundred and thirty three

45:00

thousand. It didn't change. So

45:02

fifty two thousand so you're on a soap opera.

45:05

You've made it. You're working. And you

45:07

and which would by the way, would be great. You're on

45:09

a you know, if you're recurring or but

45:11

fifty two thousand dollars is

45:13

right?

45:14

This

45:14

is barely That's

45:15

can can I I don't know.

45:17

You got you're you're living an apartment

45:19

Yep. Yeah. Right? That

45:20

you rent and you have AAAAA

45:23

roommate. Maybe maybe

45:24

roommate. I don't think you have to have a roommate. Maybe today,

45:26

you'd have to.

45:27

Rent wait. I mean, you manage a

45:28

building. You know what rents are? Yeah. And so so

45:30

today So

45:30

which fifty two thousand divided by twelve?

45:33

Four thousand or forty? Forty five hundred? Yeah.

45:35

Somewhere fifty two closer to

45:37

four. And then That's what fifth.

45:40

That's what a fifth what it was it fifty two thousand?

45:42

It's a thousand dollars

45:43

a week. So it's four thousand a month. Right? Rent

45:45

as you know, is two thousand dollars a month.

45:47

Right. So so at this time to get

45:49

an apartment today, you do not make

45:51

enough money to do it by yourself because you have to show

45:53

three times rent and income. I

45:55

mean, you you could. There are places you could find,

45:58

but they would not be in a nice place.

46:01

Well, you guys are doing the

46:03

improvements. So hopefully, you're making it better.

46:07

Mackin' it. What? Oh, I see what you're doing. You just said it

46:09

would be a nice place, and I was pretending it was your

46:11

building. And but I did it very clungly

46:13

because we were all distracted by Matt Preston's phone,

46:15

but I'm getting up. Yeah. And

46:18

me not understanding the joke. Yeah. It was

46:20

it was very clunkily delivered and I

46:22

admit that I will take full responsibility walking

46:24

into the room as we speak, also wearing his khaki

46:27

pants a hoodie, not a his Scott He

46:29

got the Pardo Memore. You're not wearing a hoodie.

46:31

You've got the collared shirt. I'm sure Sure.

46:34

Garrett isn't his hoodie, the the garden

46:36

squirrel hoodie? And III think the

46:38

day we see Elliot on hoodie is the

46:40

day that he's walking in with his notice

46:42

that he's leaving

46:43

us. I don't see him in a hoodie.

46:45

Not hoodie guys. He's

46:46

not a hoodie guys.

46:47

I have some jackets that have hoodies in the moon.

46:49

But you're not a oh, yeah. You've got those -- Yeah.

46:51

-- jackets

46:51

where the the hood is part of it. But but

46:54

by and large, hoodies don't suit me.

46:56

I don't think that they're wearing Do you think your head kinda

46:59

looks weird in the hoodie? Yeah. Because it can. Some

47:01

some people's head could look out. Don't know.

47:03

Maybe I'm one of

47:04

them. I don't know. But so, you know, your head looks like

47:06

it's kind of floating. Well, you're wearing kind of

47:08

a like a stylish this combo

47:11

high end James Franco type fucking

47:13

brain. I'm just saying

47:15

it's it's a thinner it's it's

47:17

almost like

47:18

closer to t shirt. If you feel that, you'll see that

47:20

it's kind of in between. It's kind of in between.

47:22

Well, the the cuff certainly

47:24

is, but certainly at the up the up

47:26

the arm. It's this t shirt. It's Jersey. Is

47:28

is that why it's thicker than

47:29

Jersey? Is that one one shirt or two?

47:31

Are you layered or not? I'm not layered, and I'll tell

47:33

you why. I I was rushing

47:35

to get of the house. Uh-huh. And I just went

47:38

as insane as this sounds. No time to put

47:40

the undershirt on. Okay. What would that have taken?

47:43

Fourteen

47:44

seconds, maximum, maybe a minute. Maximum.

47:47

That's crazy that that went through your head. You were

47:49

like, you did the you're like, man, I can't

47:51

do

47:51

it. I can't do it today, guys. I can't We

47:53

try to get it. Time it took you to think that. It was

47:55

I get it every time get

47:58

it between eleven and eleven fifteen. That's what we try

48:00

to do. Mhmm. And my a GPS.

48:02

I've got GPS on my phone. Uh-huh. It

48:04

tells me that I was gonna

48:06

get here at eleven twelve and I went

48:09

No time for

48:09

secretary. No time for secretary. I gotta get there.

48:12

He I don't wanna make these guys wait.

48:13

But do you put up jacket on or

48:14

the vest? See, I put the vest on. Yeah. And

48:17

and that was a even that was a But

48:19

the vest doesn't have sleeves, so it's quicker to put it

48:21

on, easy on it off.

48:22

Yeah. I actually just carry it to the car, put it on

48:24

while I was driving. Oh, wow. Guys, I did not wanna

48:26

be late. It's impressive. Alright.

48:29

Scott O'Comet is your comedy bang, bang zone,

48:31

Scott O'Comet, they got the book out. Right?

48:34

Exciting? It's not out. It's the

48:36

book is coming out. People can order it.

48:38

Sure. Preorder. They can preorder

48:40

it. I but the book will be out. It's a coffee

48:43

table type book. Scott will talk all about it. Photographs,

48:45

memories from the from the program and so

48:47

on and so forth. The comedy bang bang book.

48:49

I'm sure he's got a lot more to talk about over there at the Comedy

48:51

Bang World or they're calling it these

48:53

days. They got their own version of the

48:56

their their patrons their world.

48:57

Yeah. Cody Bang Bang World. In the same

48:59

way that we have our never enough funny Platinum

49:01

and so on and so forth, they've got their own world over

49:04

there with various different shows. My son my

49:06

son loves that bananas for bonanza.

49:08

Yeah. Loves that. Mhmm. And

49:10

and also and it pings me to say

49:12

it. Loves comedy bang bang.

49:15

Loves it as a comedy fan. He loves it.

49:17

He and Danielle listen to it on the way

49:19

to school each morning. When there's not

49:21

a new bananas for bonanza, then they go guess

49:23

we gotta slum it with the with the bang bang. And

49:26

they watch that, and I go, they they listen to that, and I

49:28

go, I go, go, son, you listen, they're not funny this week, and he goes,

49:30

no, dad. I go, yeah, but that's

49:32

you're on it

49:33

sometimes. It's fun. It goes, I live it. I don't need

49:35

it. And

49:35

that and it goes like, the characters over there that

49:37

that Paul left Tomkins and Does but

49:39

you've been on comedy bing me. Does he listen to those

49:41

episodes? No. He goes on his way to

49:43

win

49:43

this. Yeah. And he's like, he goes, dad, again, I get enough

49:45

of you, and he goes, and I and if you did a character,

49:48

I would listen to it. Mhmm. And then I and then I goes,

49:50

and I do I do my Ken Savara. I'll

49:52

do my Cajun character. Yeah. I'll do stolen

49:54

in the

49:55

bottle, and I'll go, yeah, that's that's not what

49:57

you're

49:57

doing. And was that Larry? What about Larry? Well, Larry,

49:59

or but Larry hurts the do.

50:01

Yeah. Larry's Larry's like Paul

50:03

Tomcrows

50:04

Charles. Right? Isn't that didn't we have that didn't

50:06

the two of them have a conversation?

50:07

Yeah. They did. Very throaty.

50:10

Yeah. Yeah. They're kinda hurt way back

50:12

in the herd. Normally, Larry went over to seven eleven

50:14

nine two. Uh-huh. For no reason, Larry had to be

50:16

involved in that. Alright. Scott Ocwen

50:18

is here with real the thrill the scene as we always

50:20

are. A lot of stuff going on in the Ocwen world. He I'm

50:22

gonna let him talk about it. It's not my it's not my

50:24

place to devolved his personal stuff

50:26

going on, but he's here. We're

50:29

thrilled that he's here. Scott We

50:31

got Oliver's trivia questions, speaking to the young man.

50:33

Mhmm. Get Oliver's trivia question, and

50:35

we'll we'll tackle all that. Happy birthday to Gene

50:37

Aukerman today. Yeah. Right? Gene Hackman

50:39

ninety four. Ninety four years old.

50:42

Right? Ninety three. Ninety

50:43

Ninety three. Next year it'd be ninety four, Garrett. Mhmm. I'll

50:45

make it. We're already jumping the next year because today

50:47

it's almost over. He's

50:49

in his ninety fourth year. You have one

50:51

of one of those people.

50:55

Favorite favorite Gene Hackman movie if

50:57

you had to. There's three

50:59

three gray ones. 45II

51:01

suspect my favorite one is one I haven't seen yet because

51:03

there's a couple of the the older ones.

51:07

Well, it's a very optimistic view of the world.

51:09

Yeah. I just say, like, I know that there's

51:11

things he's famous from

51:12

from, like,

51:12

the seventies or better. message to come free.

51:14

Exactly. Exactly. Well, you haven't seen French connection. I haven't

51:16

seen that's the one I think

51:17

I'm What about the conversation?

51:18

I think that might be it. That might be it for me at conversation.

51:20

Conversation. Who's your young Frankenstein?

51:23

Oh, he is good at young Frankenstein. Well, that's my favorite

51:25

that I've seen him in. And according to John Cryer.

51:27

Now this is according to John Cryer who worked with him on Aukerman

51:29

shit, whatever it's called. Jean

51:32

Hackman's favorite role -- Michael

51:35

Luther -- -- is John's record style. Oh, very good. favorite

51:37

movie, the

51:37

conversation. Okay. That's direct from that's

51:40

that's direct from Crier --

51:41

Mhmm. --

51:41

you know, from Hackman. I think I

51:44

I like Bonnie and Clyde

51:46

a lot, though. I think maybe I might go Bonnie and

51:48

Clyde. Yeah. Gary, you were gonna say What do you got?

51:50

Ten and Boss. Oh, yeah.

51:52

He's good he's good in that. I don't like that movie, but he's

51:54

good in

51:54

that that might be my favorite That's yours, on Garrett.

51:56

Yeah. I I swear to God, though. If you say

51:59

one word or another word today, you

52:01

are on my left my last nerve.

52:03

You really are. Yeah. Turn off your microphone. That's

52:05

the safest thing we would do do. Scott, he said

52:07

literally zero

52:08

words. In fifty one minutes,

52:10

he said nothing but that. Even when

52:12

he twisted his arm. Maybe maybe taught him

52:14

most. Hey. If you're trying to guess Scott,

52:17

if you're trying to guess a seventies, I'll

52:19

just say at a cop show, what

52:22

would like, they they think of, like,

52:24

three three seventy Skop shows.

52:26

He saw a celebrity in the airport. Okay.

52:28

On his

52:28

flight, and he was on a seventies cop show. We couldn't

52:31

come up with it, but I feel like

52:32

these guys had a

52:32

tough time with it. And Garrett would not help us

52:34

at all.

52:35

Starsky and

52:35

or how?

52:36

It was not. That's what I said. was not.

52:38

And where do we decide seventy seven eighty three? Is that

52:40

what got? Zone? It

52:40

ran from seventy seven eighty three.

52:43

Chips. There

52:44

you go. There you

52:44

go. And I saw to

52:47

see PoNS? I saw PoNS, Eric Estrada.

52:49

Eric Estrada has been

52:50

crossing the Switchblade -- Cool. --

52:52

which I don't know what that means. Let's

52:54

say Christian movie. was

52:57

I did not know that. Is that, like,

52:59

within the last twenty years, you mean?

53:00

No. That was in the sixties, I believe.

53:02

Oh, wow. Jeez. So he was

53:04

in early on that. He's still kept Kevin.

53:07

Good friend. You

53:07

know what I get often? You know what I just watched, and

53:10

it was great. I watched the Kevin Sorbo movie.

53:12

Man, You didn't care for him in the

53:14

nineties, but you've started to take an interest. What did he

53:16

do? Because I like what he says on Twitter. And I went, you know what?

53:18

I'd really like what this guy's saying. Let me look at his

53:20

work. And he's doing some good stuff over

53:22

there, man. Some real good stuff. Wait.

53:24

When did you see Eric Strada? Because I

53:26

feel like I've heard this story eight million times.

53:28

Okay. He's seen him ten times. I've seen

53:31

Erica Strada. We he's he's been

53:33

sloping sitting on there Joe, and

53:35

I saw him again Friday at the airport. yeah.

53:38

No question. Same

53:38

exact situation.

53:40

No. As I mentioned, I saw him a Toys R Us toys.

53:42

Right. Lunch by the dumpster.

53:45

I don't believe he's a smoker by the way, so I don't know.

53:47

I literally don't till the second, don't know what he's doing by the dumpster.

53:50

And this was pre Uber and stuff, so it's not like he was waiting

53:52

for a ride. I think he went in to see if they had

53:54

any punch action figures. And the guy

53:56

said, oh, they're by the tone. So they're really

53:57

hard. You know what? There might be a bunch tickling.

54:00

It's a whole box of them back there. And

54:03

then you smile at the guy. Hey. That

54:05

that light hit his teeth, and the guy was blinded.

54:08

Blinded by punch teeth. Alright.

54:10

Let's dig right. We're back right over this. Hey,

54:13

January means resolutions, fitness

54:15

goals, lifestyle changes. The big three,

54:17

Matt, resi's. You get your resi's,

54:19

you get your goal's, and you got your changes.

54:21

That

54:22

something? That's nothing. Did you make a resolution? I

54:24

know you're not eating. No. No.

54:26

My wife pointed out that a resolution doesn't have to

54:28

be stopping eating something every year, which

54:30

is what I I in habit of doing. Yeah. It could be

54:32

doing something good. So now I've decided

54:34

instead of not even like a

54:36

slob, I'm just gonna read a book every month.

54:38

Like one book a month is that's my Seems

54:41

pretty easy, but I don't I'm struggling

54:42

already. I

54:43

I see you finishing six books in the

54:45

year. I'm halfway through two for January, and

54:47

we've got two, two. Why are you reading two books at once?

54:49

I started one, and I got bored, so I started

54:52

another

54:52

one. And I'll finish that one, but I don't know if I'll finish

54:54

it in time for the end of the month. This is not an

54:56

advertisement for publishing or books. This

54:58

is for Harry's. Believe it or not, we're doing Harry's

55:01

shave and showers -- Sure. -- and so forth.

55:04

More probably talk about that trial set that

55:06

they have.

55:06

Yeah. You got sent to trial

55:08

set. Oh my god. I got bunch of great stuff.

55:10

I I got it. You you could the body lotions,

55:13

the shave creams, the aftershade Balm,

55:16

the razor

55:16

blades, they got trial various trial

55:18

kits. Yeah. Look at their side. They've got so

55:20

much great stuff that the handles are super slick

55:22

looking and nice. I I told you by

55:25

the I told you

55:25

Oliver, I went crazy for that hand. You did. Yeah.

55:28

And I'm still fascinated with I swear

55:30

by the the aftershave. So that's that's, like, my fair

55:32

a relationship of of all time. And I've got

55:34

the I forget what it's called. know,

55:36

the, you know, would've been

55:38

murderer. I don't know I don't know what the I don't know what

55:40

the flavor is. Right. It's got an outdoorsy. It's

55:43

the body wash. Yeah. think it's hearth. I

55:45

think it's like Christmas hearth or something. Winter

55:47

hearth. And hearth is right. That's the

55:49

fireplace. Hearth. Harth -- Yeah. -- HEARTH.

55:53

But it's hearth. I say hearth.

55:56

What the name is like a doctor, the other day said,

56:01

rest instead of wreath, and I whom I was get

56:03

questioned --

56:04

Wow. -- the hidden through you. You're a spiral continuing

56:06

me. He's educated. He's educated.

56:08

But it's one of those things that if you if you've never red

56:10

it -- Yeah. -- and you re like --

56:12

Yeah. -- you'd

56:13

go, oh, it's a a Laurel wreath. It's

56:15

what he said. And I was like, it's a Laurel wreath.

56:17

And why am I trusting you with my partner? Not

56:20

an English major. No, he's not. He and he knows

56:23

his knows his business. Yep.

56:25

But more importantly, you can get Shave all

56:27

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56:42

gel. God. I know. I love it.

56:44

You could schedule more replacement blade delivery whenever

56:46

you need them with refills as low as two

56:48

bucks. I

56:50

am I am loving the body

56:52

wash. I'm

56:53

loving the gel. The blades

56:55

that we should not don't let's not shortchange the blades.

56:57

The blades are as good as they always. My son won't shut

56:59

up about Yeah. He is as you know,

57:01

he's shaving -- Yes. -- which is insanity.

57:03

Yes. It is. But he dad, dad,

57:06

look at this. Harry's

57:07

You guys doing a bit. But you should get him in here to

57:09

do Oh,

57:10

yeah. Next time he's here, we'll do we'll have him do

57:12

a hair reset.

57:12

We'll just hang in the let's

57:14

be clear.

57:14

Not at the time. No. No. He got a new rash.

57:16

He got the he got a weighted handle. Yeah. Got your

57:18

pick. Got the pick between the two handles that they sent.

57:20

Right? You you got the when they're both

57:22

nice, but he got the premium look

57:24

He did get the nicer of the two. Yeah. In Italy. They're

57:26

both great. As you said, great. But they're One's

57:28

like sporty and one's like classy. You

57:30

got the classy. Of course. I got the sporty. Hey,

57:33

no matter how your shave.

57:35

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a three dollar trial set. Harry's The

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best way

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to shave. Hey, are you hiring

57:51

for your team to Despite current headlines,

57:53

several industries like hospitality and health

57:55

care are heading for a hiring boom

57:57

at

57:57

Belknap. Well, I know

57:58

that Wenger is heading for a heartbreak. Is that the same thing?

58:00

It's very similar. Okay. Yeah. No

58:02

matter what industry you're in, be it the hospitality

58:05

healthcare or heavy metal of the three big

58:07

ages.

58:08

We're waiting for heavy metal though. They I I'm sure

58:10

they recall heavy metal, but they they weren't. But

58:12

that that neither was poison.

58:13

None of those eighty's bands are heavy metal. Yeah. It's

58:15

weird that we still call them heavy

58:17

meat. It was just rock music. Rock and roll baby.

58:19

Yeah. A little bit more guitar, a little crunchier.

58:21

Well, if you are if you need to hire, I reckon,

58:24

you this. Go to ziprecruiter dot com slash Pardo.

58:26

That is ziprecruiter dot com slash pardo.

58:28

Ziprecruiter uses its powerful matching

58:30

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58:33

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58:34

roles. See a candidate who'd be perfect

58:36

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58:38

I did not read this one. do

58:40

see a candidate. Who is perfect for you, John.

58:42

The Silvercorder makes it easy to send them a personal

58:45

invite so they are more likely to apply. In

58:47

fact, Balnap -- Mhmm. Don't call you your

58:49

last name. It'd be weird. Four out of five employers who

58:51

post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate

58:53

in the first day. I always wanna say

58:55

qualified candidate in first day. So whenever it's

58:58

says quality. My mouth doesn't know what to do

59:00

because my brain must just say

59:01

qualified. And it

59:01

may also be qualified, but they're definitely gonna be qualified.

59:04

They're qualified. The two big q u's.

59:07

Wait. Qualified? Wait. How did you spell Qualified? Yeah.

59:09

Yeah. Where

59:10

you always put a u after q? Yeah.

59:13

You do except for the country of Qatar.

59:17

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59:31

Look. If you're looking to hire an for the b. I don't think

59:34

don't think back and forth about having metal in the

59:36

QUs in the

59:36

nonsense. If you're looking to hire, what do you do,

59:39

Matt? You go to zipper cruiter dot com slash

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Pardo. ZipRecruiter, the best

59:43

way to hire.

59:45

Hey, when you walk around to the program, it was a little that

59:47

was a awful beep. So

59:49

You know what? I think the bet the battery must be dying

59:52

on this thing. Mhmm. Anyway, let's welcome Yeah. Welcome

59:54

back to program episode. Thirty

59:56

one twenty three Scott Ocum and his

59:58

Aries. Take time away from talking to people doing characters

1:00:01

over there, that

1:00:01

comedy bank bank, talking to YouTube characters.

1:00:03

Right. Tiring to tiring

1:00:05

over there, you get the you Jean Villa peak.

1:00:08

I got a message been on there. It's something

1:00:09

not. I would love to have her

1:00:10

on there. Oh, I don't Wonderful.

1:00:12

Really know her personally, and don't have her email.

1:00:14

But

1:00:14

more than happy to

1:00:15

you. would love that. Because she she

1:00:17

was great here and she's great and everything. Cool. No.

1:00:19

They're really well. Well, they're not really wise.

1:00:21

Walk in the other room. No. Thank you.

1:00:24

Like we're two point five.

1:00:26

You don't have time to put on a t shirt. I don't have time

1:00:28

to walk in the other room. Brother, do

1:00:30

I relate? I a hundred percent get it. I gotta

1:00:32

wipe well. But if we can't really talk to the wife though.

1:00:35

Two guys that I I can't think of three guys otherwise

1:00:38

more. We're three wife

1:00:39

guys, aren't we?

1:00:41

How? Hey. I smell a new podcast.

1:00:43

The three wife guys. Three

1:00:45

other wife guys. It's just guys talking

1:00:46

about the wives. No. Boy.

1:00:48

Wait. Who were

1:00:49

because the the wife guys are the is

1:00:51

that thing? Is that

1:00:52

thing?

1:00:52

There was a one guy. Well,

1:00:53

there was a one guy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a wife guy

1:00:55

is a term.

1:00:56

Oh, from that pug that guy -- Yeah. Yeah. --

1:00:58

cancelled. But a wife guy is a term of,

1:01:00

like, someone who performatively loves

1:01:03

their wife to the extent of, like, very

1:01:05

very in public -- Oh. -- always

1:01:07

tweeting about their wife and stuff like

1:01:09

that. And that's us. Right? Then

1:01:11

in that case, I

1:01:12

am not a wife, grandma.

1:01:13

I

1:01:14

do not know there was a term. Yeah. I I learned

1:01:16

something new here today. I then then the

1:01:18

flip side of it is the guy on that one

1:01:20

podcast. The

1:01:22

flip side of it is is sometimes people think

1:01:24

white guys are

1:01:27

the people cheating on their

1:01:28

wives. And that's why they're doing it.

1:01:29

Yeah. So much that? And so the so

1:01:31

the guy on the well, I and I cannot remember

1:01:33

what the podcast is. Try guys. guys. Try guys. Yes.

1:01:35

Yes. And he was a wife sitting on his

1:01:37

wife. Right? He was a super wife guy

1:01:38

-- Yes. -- and he ended up too young. That was his brand.

1:01:41

Like, in the show, that was his

1:01:43

character.

1:01:43

As a reminder, we had to try guy on here.

1:01:45

We did. What? It's not that one. We had

1:01:47

Zach. Which one, Zach?

1:01:49

The guy we had on. I don't know

1:01:50

what I I don't know what his brand does. I I forgot.

1:01:53

He he had something out of his own going

1:01:55

on, which

1:01:55

is why he was here. Right? He has,

1:01:57

like, he wore, like, horn rim glasses. Does that

1:01:59

help you?

1:02:01

No. I've never seen these guys. I've seen the

1:02:03

parody of them

1:02:03

on SNL's Gotcha. That's about it. That's about what

1:02:05

I've seen. Yeah. No. I did did watch the video

1:02:07

where they apologized, and they were just steaming

1:02:10

mad, but but they parodies that. They were very

1:02:12

angry at how much they had to apologize. Anyway,

1:02:16

anyway, we're the three white

1:02:18

guys. Why? Let's do it. I'm in. I wouldn't

1:02:20

mind it.

1:02:20

I'm in. You got that county bank bank world going

1:02:22

on over there.

1:02:23

That's where do we tape it? That's the question. Well,

1:02:25

we could do it at your place. You gotta studio We could do

1:02:27

it at our studio. It's a little bit cooler. Via

1:02:29

Zoom. Beaming cooler

1:02:31

is in temperature temperature, temperature, temperature, temperature, maybe

1:02:33

both. It's always going

1:02:35

to be it's gonna cooler any location than

1:02:37

this. Is it bad during the summer here?

1:02:39

No. Summer is a nice company.

1:02:41

Summer sun. Because

1:02:41

this is the heat of the building trying to heat

1:02:43

the rest of the

1:02:44

heat of the building. Maybe

1:02:47

try to heat the rest of it.

1:02:49

Yeah. Cool. You went out there. It's cold in the hallway.

1:02:52

Right? That's why it's warming up.

1:02:53

Yeah. This is the McDLT of buildings. That's

1:02:55

right.

1:02:56

Cool. Stay cool. And hot stays hot. Guys know

1:02:58

that

1:02:58

Jason Alexander was in the commercial for I do.

1:03:00

I did not know that. Go look that up on YouTube. It's great.

1:03:03

Yeah. Does it great? Seems like a lot of Now

1:03:05

it's easy. Type it in Jason Alexander. Wait

1:03:07

minute. How do you get to the first place you

1:03:09

said? YouTube dot com. I don't know.

1:03:11

Slack. But you

1:03:12

probably have it as a is a

1:03:14

folder. Oh, yo. Yo. The

1:03:16

folder.

1:03:17

It's a folder. Go to my folder.

1:03:19

No stuff. Yeah. It's a folder. Thank you

1:03:21

falter. YouTube.

1:03:24

You open it up. YouTube isn't it?

1:03:29

We have fun. We have a lot of fun. We shoot. I

1:03:31

mean, we have This is the wife, guys. We're the wifey.

1:03:33

This is what the wife guys guys have a good

1:03:34

time. You guys

1:03:35

have a great

1:03:36

time. Great time

1:03:37

because we have good relationships our

1:03:38

wives. We're able to have we're really

1:03:40

we're away from our wives. We're away from our wives. Yes.

1:03:42

That's important.

1:03:43

But we have a great time.

1:03:44

That's very, very important. We miss them.

1:03:45

We miss them. They would never be on our No.

1:03:48

They're not welcome. They're

1:03:49

not welcome on her job. How do I save time for the

1:03:51

wife guys to get together and be wife guys?

1:03:52

Aren't they? Yep.

1:03:53

My wife guys need some time for themselves. Away from

1:03:55

their wives. Yeah. We love them. Wipes guys are

1:03:57

a little tired of their wives. Let's

1:03:59

be honest.

1:03:59

Oh, true. We couldn't love them more.

1:04:00

We couldn't love them. Our white guy to our

1:04:02

space. Yeah. Please stop bothering

1:04:05

the wife guys.

1:04:05

Oh, boy. That's why we're in an undisclosed location

1:04:07

in the valley.

1:04:08

I'm disclosing that. We'll let our listeners,

1:04:10

Bobby. Oh, no. We'll give you the address. Yeah.

1:04:12

They're not allowed to listen to the show. Yeah.

1:04:14

Imagine if the wife guys did a live show, the audience

1:04:16

gonna come to that. Oh, you win wanna

1:04:18

talk to any of those people. Wait. Do you think it

1:04:20

would be fellow wife guys? Or do you

1:04:22

think it would be based on our

1:04:24

roofing? I

1:04:25

think guys would hate their wives I think it would

1:04:28

be the the the tri guys

1:04:30

version of the white guys.

1:04:30

Yeah. It could be a bunch of those. A lot of a lot of they call their

1:04:33

wife fallen chained up guys.

1:04:34

Right. Right. Right? Yeah. Yeah. They they get it

1:04:36

on a deeper level.

1:04:37

Yeah. No. We love our wives, though. We wanna

1:04:39

make that

1:04:40

clear. Yeah. That's it.

1:04:41

You know, I know we're

1:04:41

doing bits right now. We love we love our

1:04:44

wives. We've been with Alan. Alan. Have we been with

1:04:46

our wives? Well

1:04:47

I've been with your wife for How

1:04:48

long now? It doesn't matter. Wait. What? Oh,

1:04:50

boy. I I don't

1:04:51

you. What's my wife? What's I think

1:04:54

I'm at twenty four years, twenty five years, twenty

1:04:56

five years, nineteen ninety eight.

1:04:58

I'm going I I met my wife in

1:05:01

nineteen ninety three, so we'll to be thirty years

1:05:03

in -- Wow. -- in September or

1:05:05

October, I guess. And you're twenty two

1:05:07

years. No. No. I I'm ninety nine,

1:05:09

so it would be twenty twenty four. So just want it

1:05:11

coming up on twenty

1:05:12

four. Yeah. Congratulations. I

1:05:13

remember our first date, you said

1:05:15

it'll never last. Yes. So I do bring that out

1:05:17

every time. I

1:05:19

said That's an embarrassing

1:05:22

thing, like and we've all had it where,

1:05:24

you know, just based on a random

1:05:26

know, I'm going on a day with someone, oh, that'll

1:05:28

never last, and then it becomes the wife. Right?

1:05:30

I mean, I

1:05:31

guess it hasn't happened to to people

1:05:33

with you. Yeah. No. No one. But you've probably

1:05:35

done it to friends. I'm I'm trying to think I don't

1:05:37

think I've ever said it. I'd probably have thought it.

1:05:39

Right. But Jimmy has a long history.

1:05:42

You know this? He's a long history of being wrong about

1:05:44

for like, he thought kids on the block was

1:05:46

never gonna make it after seeing them open for

1:05:48

a new edition. Tiffany or Tiffany? Yeah.

1:05:50

Mark my Mark mark my words.

1:05:53

They'll never make

1:05:53

it. Those aren't gonna mark my words.

1:05:55

Yeah. So you should have taken it as a compliment.

1:05:58

Oh, that's yeah. Okay. Yeah. I've been wrong

1:06:00

on a high level. Like, you

1:06:02

and Koolab are up there with Jordan and

1:06:04

Jonathan and Donnie

1:06:06

and Joey --

1:06:07

Mhmm. -- and, of course, Danny. Ricky and Mike.

1:06:10

You like the girl who cares who you like. Cool

1:06:12

it now. And is that's the other thing Jimmy said to

1:06:14

you? You know, you'll never make it, but if you like the girl

1:06:16

who cares what? Yeah.

1:06:18

remember that was at the Omnipop office.

1:06:20

Yep. Remember it was a desperate return.

1:06:23

Why why and I was trying to describe this the other

1:06:25

day.

1:06:26

Why did we have to go in there all the time?

1:06:30

And and I was trying to describe this because I

1:06:32

I was saying that when

1:06:34

you had an audition, we

1:06:36

none of us had e you couldn't email stuff.

1:06:39

You couldn't email sides. You might be able to get

1:06:41

fax. You you could get a fax, but none of us

1:06:43

had fax machines at all. I had a fax. You had

1:06:45

a fax machine. Okay. So I had the thermal

1:06:47

paper back machine, which you didn't really wanna

1:06:49

use -- Right. -- in an audition because it, you know, it's

1:06:51

a scroll

1:06:52

based.

1:06:52

Right. And so we would have to go into

1:06:54

the office all the time to pick up our sides for

1:06:56

these addition. It's just like

1:06:59

so I feel like I was there so much. We were

1:07:01

there a lot. We also had to drop off head shots.

1:07:03

Yes. All things that you don't have do

1:07:05

anymore. You don't

1:07:05

have to do anymore, but this is this was, of course, nineteen

1:07:08

hundred and three.

1:07:10

Well, ninety

1:07:11

ninety eight. Right? Yeah.

1:07:12

Well, yeah. It was probably nine well,

1:07:13

this was ninety eight. I mean, we got to know each

1:07:15

other when. Ninety seven. Ninety

1:07:17

six. We've I mean, probably I

1:07:19

mean, I started in ninety five. I

1:07:21

moved here in ninety five. So but I I think we

1:07:24

didn't know each other for a little while. The very

1:07:26

first time we talked, this is a hundred percent true, and maybe

1:07:28

we've tried about on the program before. I don't know. There was

1:07:30

that again,

1:07:32

wasn't on the

1:07:33

Internet, but there was that quiz going around

1:07:35

-- Yes. --

1:07:36

lyrics of eighties.

1:07:37

Oh, yeah. It was like a hundred I

1:07:39

think -- Yeah. -- and it was just like

1:07:42

random snatches of lyrics from

1:07:44

different eighty songs. I remember, like,

1:07:47

and they weren't as obvious as dearly beloved.

1:07:50

We are gay. They were not. They were just like from

1:07:52

the middle of a song, it would be one sentence.

1:07:54

And it would be like and and somehow

1:07:56

this was was it emailed to

1:07:58

it? Because it was emailed. Yeah. It was emailed.

1:08:00

Right? So he was emailing around because there

1:08:01

was nothing that were No. It got emailed in ninety

1:08:03

seven. Okay. So yeah. So

1:08:05

I probably got on my web TV.

1:08:08

And so we I think someone

1:08:10

printed it out for me. I

1:08:11

think me too. And then I had the piece a Aukerman

1:08:13

I would write down the answers. And and we've read Omnipod

1:08:15

and I and I was told And there's no way to look these

1:08:17

up online either. I'm sorry if I'm showing. Okay.

1:08:20

There's no way to look them

1:08:21

up, like, You had to you had to

1:08:23

just remember it somehow. Yeah. So I was

1:08:25

there, and I and and a third party

1:08:28

said, because you and I probably

1:08:30

said, oh, hey, how are you doing, whatever. And so Brian, how

1:08:32

are you doing? Well, you know you know who would be

1:08:34

good at that. Scott and Jimmy,

1:08:36

both know eighties music Right. And we

1:08:38

both are are you in that cruise? And then there

1:08:40

was we both got ninety nine of them for that

1:08:42

mistake. We

1:08:43

did, really, because I'm so bad

1:08:44

at lyrics. I can't. There was one that we just

1:08:46

could not figure out.

1:08:47

What was it? It was the sexy's midnight runners

1:08:49

come on Aileen. Oh, and my thoughts

1:08:51

I confessed, they're dirty, I

1:08:53

believe, was the lyric.

1:08:54

Yeah. That's right. And I still not get that.

1:08:56

I still can't even hear that when I listen to this

1:08:58

song. Yeah.

1:08:59

Because it doesn't sound like that. Virgents

1:09:00

my thoughts, I give us Virgents duty. That

1:09:03

how it goes? How strange? Yeah.

1:09:04

It's in the course. That's the crazy part. It's not even

1:09:06

like, it's it's right there for you, but it's it's

1:09:08

the way he says it is

1:09:10

it was

1:09:11

but yeah. We we both So we bonded

1:09:12

over that. We bonded over that? Wow. Yeah.

1:09:15

I remember holding closer to any

1:09:17

dance. So it was one of them. Tony

1:09:19

Danson. It was not tiny

1:09:20

dance. It's gotta be wonderful.

1:09:23

Yeah. There

1:09:23

was something from Wynn dov's cry that I remember

1:09:25

being, like, that was it was

1:09:27

it

1:09:28

wasn't it was a dick if you will, the picture. Are

1:09:30

you and I engage in a kiss? That's

1:09:31

all I know. I might have something

1:09:33

Animal no. Animal start strike curious poses.

1:09:36

Yeah. That's what Yeah.

1:09:37

Because I think at the time, I was like, what the hell

1:09:39

is get out of context. It's like What? Yeah.

1:09:41

And III remember you have you

1:09:43

had to really because I remember hearing that

1:09:45

song and being

1:09:45

like, yeah. That bad. When

1:09:48

you sing along with it. Yeah. But that that lyric

1:09:50

is so

1:09:51

strange. It is an unusual sentiment. It's

1:09:53

now

1:09:53

stuck out to me ever ever since I listen

1:09:55

that song. For sure.

1:09:56

That that piece of paper did that for a lot of songs.

1:09:58

Yeah. Oh, now I know what that Wait.

1:10:00

Anyone find that now? It has to be someone

1:10:02

to stay around. Yeah. I'd love to see it again. Like

1:10:04

to take another crack at it. I don't

1:10:06

think I did her. I think

1:10:07

it would be fun to try to do it. I don't think

1:10:09

it would. Ninety nine now. Not with the not with

1:10:11

my memory going as quickly as it is.

1:10:14

But you

1:10:14

still remember that day? Yeah. I think so. I do

1:10:16

remember that day. It was a fun day because it was fun to

1:10:19

bond with somebody over that that when

1:10:21

did we hang out after that? Or what what

1:10:23

what

1:10:23

happened? You know what? Then

1:10:25

here's what happened. I do not remember the story of

1:10:27

our relationship. I'm sorry. We did not really

1:10:29

hang out. And then you and BJ came to

1:10:31

my one man show. Right. And then afterwards,

1:10:34

I was coming back from a a deli

1:10:36

or something, and were in the parking lot. You said,

1:10:38

hey, thanks a lot. That show was great. And then

1:10:41

the next day, I got call from Bruce Smith saying,

1:10:43

hey, Scott wants to develop something with

1:10:45

you. What do you think? I would yeah.

1:10:47

And then that was the start of

1:10:48

it. Wow. Bunch

1:10:50

of twenty year olds trying to develop TV

1:10:51

shows. Yeah. I may have been in my thirties.

1:10:54

Not knowing how. Was I in my

1:10:55

thirties? Oh, I was certainly in my thirties. Yeah. I will

1:10:57

I must have been twenty years. Because that was two thousand one.

1:11:00

Oh, that was two thousand 10I was thirty one

1:11:02

then. Yeah. Oh, okay. I was thirty one and a half,

1:11:04

I Wow. But

1:11:06

yeah. That was the

1:11:07

start. And we did Jimmy dance party

1:11:09

after that, which -- Oh, I

1:11:12

remember I was telling someone about this the the

1:11:14

day how we sold that to Comedy Central.

1:11:16

Yes, we did. And we

1:11:19

just had turned in the script or something, I can't

1:11:21

remember, but we had just finished it

1:11:23

and executives

1:11:25

got all fired --

1:11:26

Okay. -- fired and changed over. And the new people said,

1:11:28

like, hey, we can pay

1:11:30

you for this or and

1:11:33

and we're not gonna do it. But

1:11:35

we'll pay you, like, what you're owed because we

1:11:37

haven't been paid any money yet because deals take

1:11:39

so long to close. They're like, we'll pay you

1:11:42

what you're owed, but then we'll bury it.

1:11:44

Or we cannot pay you and

1:11:46

you can take it anywhere else you

1:11:47

like. And we

1:11:49

chose not paying and taking it elsewhere.

1:11:51

We should've got Yes. You made a bid. They

1:11:55

also if you remember, they made us put it back on

1:11:57

stage --

1:11:58

Yeah. -- so that the new

1:12:00

regime could see it at the UCB. Right? No.

1:12:02

It was Oh, that was it the Yeah. And

1:12:04

you know how much that cost us? I still remember

1:12:07

this. What did it cost fifteen hundred dollars? Oh,

1:12:09

boy.

1:12:09

Yeah. And it's a hundred. Didn't get paid. Yeah.

1:12:11

It comes up. But they they made us put a

1:12:13

bucket back on up on stage, and then they still

1:12:15

said we had the meeting. They went, yeah, we're still

1:12:17

not gonna like, they they made us it

1:12:19

again. Do it again. I know. And then there were

1:12:21

dicks about

1:12:22

it. Like -- Yeah. -- the old regime.

1:12:24

They loved it. Like -- Yeah.

1:12:25

-- is I remember overhearing. Like, I wasn't supposed

1:12:27

to be hearing this, but I remember, like, couple the execs

1:12:29

going, and this is a great vehicle for Pardo. We

1:12:31

finally found it. Like the and I and I was

1:12:33

like, oh, I'm not supposed to hear that. That wasn't for my

1:12:35

benefit.

1:12:36

Right. So good it. It felt good about the meeting

1:12:38

and Here here we go. The fucking Pardo project.

1:12:41

And it wasn't us, like,

1:12:43

sitting on it until we could get paid, which

1:12:45

sometimes happens where it's like, I'm not even gonna

1:12:47

finish the script until the deal is done. Like,

1:12:49

we got to it right away -- Yeah. -- and it just

1:12:51

like those people all fired just right after that.

1:12:53

I think it was because of this

1:12:55

deal. With me.

1:12:57

Oh, boy. Those are all good people too. Have

1:13:00

And then we would go out to lunch occasionally.

1:13:02

We would go to the The

1:13:05

place is not there anymore that we use a vegan

1:13:07

place. Yeah. Boy. No. Thank you. You. You're

1:13:09

your house. Something vegan. Is

1:13:11

that the one item? They're not across from patties. That's

1:13:14

it. Yeah. Used to be a Chinese

1:13:16

restaurant. Yeah. We used to go there always. It was

1:13:18

d. Malicious. That's right.

1:13:20

And the strangest because it

1:13:22

had plantation shutters

1:13:26

is a Chinese restaurant. And then also

1:13:28

had the strangest layout of any

1:13:30

like, it had like, everything seemed like an addition you

1:13:32

know how when you go into a house and there's an an

1:13:34

addition, and the floor is not

1:13:36

quite as level as the

1:13:37

rest of it. Like, every room seems like

1:13:39

that. Yes. Watch your stuff

1:13:42

with, like, you know, doors,

1:13:44

this saloon doors

1:13:45

Yes. -- and stuff. Oh, man. I loved

1:13:48

it though. Yeah. I loved it, dude.

1:13:50

Give it give it the vegan place. I'm not gonna I'm not

1:13:52

going to. You go there? They've got something

1:13:54

vegan. That's why every time I see the sun, I'm

1:13:56

like, some things. You know what I mean? I mean,

1:13:58

look, it's like they don't really know what vegan means. They're just

1:14:00

like, something.

1:14:01

I mean, what are these things? Yeah.

1:14:03

I've never been there. But Scott, you don't spend any you don't spend

1:14:05

time in your little hunt. You're not a you don't Not really. Every

1:14:07

once in all, I'll go to patties and just be like, I'm

1:14:10

really kinda jonesing for that

1:14:12

egg white omelette with the fruit on the

1:14:13

side. But yeah. No.

1:14:15

Not really anymore. That was just so yeah.

1:14:18

I would III made a bold statement

1:14:20

about patties on the showers, and then I need to amend

1:14:22

it. They're not they're not tearing it down. I thought they were

1:14:24

tearing down that whole block to build a

1:14:25

supermarket, but it's just the -- Whoa. -- it's just

1:14:27

one side of it. So they're it's it's staying It's

1:14:30

not do you stay? Yeah. They're from Moe's

1:14:32

is gone. Moe's

1:14:34

Moe's is now at Mendocino Farms. Yeah.

1:14:36

I don't know. You still go to Moses. I'll let the burger

1:14:38

bar. Well, here's what the burger bar was. Basically,

1:14:40

it was like lettuce,

1:14:43

tomato, like, AAA

1:14:45

dish of Thousand Islands, you know, a dish of

1:14:47

ketchup or whatever. And they would come and bring

1:14:49

your burger kinda open face and

1:14:51

go, like, our burger bar is over there and

1:14:53

it's like, Okay. You put it together. Yeah. That

1:14:56

was it. And it wasn't like there was an oh, no.

1:14:58

There was like pasta salad too. And

1:15:00

it was and but fries were not over there because you

1:15:02

had to order the fries. By yourself -- Yeah. -- you

1:15:04

know, on the side. And so you'd go over there and be

1:15:06

like, there's nothing here. Like, yeah. Okay.

1:15:08

I'll put my own lettuce

1:15:09

on. Yeah.

1:15:10

That was it. There

1:15:11

was a time, by the way, where they didn't even read the burger

1:15:13

table, they would go. Alright.

1:15:14

Oh, yeah. That's right. It's over there over there. It's over

1:15:16

there by the bar. Wait. What?

1:15:18

And then they expect a tip? Not

1:15:20

not on my watch. No. I always

1:15:22

like that plays but then Karen killed Garrett. We're

1:15:24

joking, though. Of course, we would take questions. Karen

1:15:26

told me if she's like she was just like, oh,

1:15:28

that place has rats and the

1:15:29

Wait. What? I was like, oh, now can't go

1:15:31

there anymore. How

1:15:32

did she know that? I don't know. I don't know. Is she privy to

1:15:34

that? That's the other thing. I don't even know if she was serious,

1:15:36

but it it, like, I didn't I didn't question. I was

1:15:38

just like, well, she's not going to Moe's anymore. Yeah.

1:15:41

Although she must have been serious because I think she was saying,

1:15:43

like, we were we're trying to figure out a place to have lunch,

1:15:45

and she was like, That place says rats in the kitchen. I

1:15:47

was like, oh, okay. Never mind. Wow.

1:15:49

And then I didn't go back until it changed

1:15:51

hands twice because then remember it

1:15:52

was, like, the Continental for a little while. Did

1:15:54

not

1:15:55

Yeah. No. What

1:15:55

was that's when we saw

1:15:56

Gary Marshall? We did see Marshall there

1:15:58

a lot. But we also saw Australia. No.

1:16:01

Nothing That's the one place I didn't see astrada. Remember

1:16:03

we were sitting outside for some re oh, because weren't done

1:16:05

talking, so we were sitting

1:16:06

outside. And what's his name? The

1:16:08

OJ guy. Oh,

1:16:10

OJ Simpson? Yes. OJ Simpson. OJ.

1:16:12

From agent. Yeah. OJ. Yeah. OJ. Katelyn walked by us.

1:16:15

And I think Jimmy went, not maybe

1:16:17

love not from here, but maybe not. You're like,

1:16:19

k. Get Well, I think I did. You know,

1:16:21

like, give him a little funny greeting. And I think he

1:16:23

got a nice charge out of

1:16:24

it. Yeah. I bet he did. K.

1:16:26

And his heart he just wants to be recognized. That's

1:16:29

all he is. I've done many a celebrity

1:16:31

golf outing with him and people are excited

1:16:33

when he's their celebrity partner and it's like

1:16:35

he's famous for no one that murdered

1:16:37

somebody. That's his shame to fame.

1:16:39

He heard. He's a very nice guy, by the way. But he well,

1:16:42

he's

1:16:42

been on some shows surreal life.

1:16:44

Stuff, but it's the same. Yeah. I know. Yes. I know.

1:16:46

But, I mean, we're all famous for something

1:16:49

dumb.

1:16:49

That said, at least, they know who he is. My my fortune

1:16:51

is. No clue. So I was so

1:16:53

I had to do one of those celebrity

1:16:55

paired up with, like, regular people

1:16:58

things in Kansas City. And

1:17:01

it was a bowling thing. And I was just like, oh,

1:17:03

fuck they're gonna hate me. Because Paul

1:17:05

Rudd is there. Right. Is that Stone Street's

1:17:07

thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eric's there

1:17:09

and and Rudd is there and and so

1:17:11

many actual celebrities yesterday

1:17:13

because and and it was so

1:17:16

nice because I got paired up with fans of

1:17:18

the actual comedy bang, bang, show. Oh, cool. I

1:17:20

was just like, and they were happy to to have me out.

1:17:23

There were people less famous than

1:17:25

me. I have to say. People example. Okay.

1:17:27

Okay. Let me

1:17:29

What if Kato was there? Wait a minute. That's the year I was

1:17:31

there, you saw.

1:17:33

No. But, I mean, it's I mean, a lot of

1:17:35

people think we have it great. But, I mean, these are

1:17:37

hard things that we have to deal with being

1:17:39

Pardo up with these non celebrities

1:17:41

and worrying you're not famous enough for at least folding

1:17:43

is you you could you could be okay.

1:17:46

Yeah. Golf is. You got you got four hours

1:17:49

of not being a good golfer and not being a

1:17:51

celebrity. Right? It ain't great. Mhmm. It's

1:17:53

rough. I guess right now that my golf game

1:17:55

is back. I keep being asked to do the

1:17:58

the seleb or m

1:18:00

or whatever. Golf

1:18:01

things. And III and I don't know why I

1:18:03

keep getting asked because never respond. Right. And

1:18:05

then you're not even a

1:18:06

fuck off. Right? I don't play golf.

1:18:08

That's very nice to be out.

1:18:09

That's nice to be out. I just wanna be invited to Pardo

1:18:11

Yeah. Can is there a role can you

1:18:13

caddy? Is there something you could do there?

1:18:15

Like, I wanna do that. That sounds a word.

1:18:17

Yeah. And, like, getting up there and

1:18:19

swinging at the ball and never hitting Well, I don't think so.

1:18:21

I

1:18:21

think I'm gonna catch you at least you could be

1:18:23

fun. You could have a good

1:18:24

time. You have

1:18:24

to carry people shit around. Right? Yeah. But at least

1:18:26

you compares

1:18:27

yourself hitting the ball four feet. How how heavy

1:18:29

are you these golf bags? They're about three hundred

1:18:31

pounds.

1:18:31

Yeah. No. Thank you.

1:18:32

Okay. I

1:18:32

think it's just a ceremonial

1:18:35

title, and you don't actually have to

1:18:36

Oh, is that true? I'll take a ceremonial title.

1:18:39

I'm I'm inventing something doesn't exist. But I'm saying,

1:18:41

like, you could be, like, the sort of you could

1:18:43

drive the cart or

1:18:43

something. You know what? I would love someone else can

1:18:45

drive the Pardo, sip a mint julep.

1:18:47

Sure. Yeah. Nobody wants you doing that. Okay.

1:18:50

Don't listen to it. Whatever bullshit he's selling. I'm just

1:18:52

trying to find a way to

1:18:53

get non golfers into these celebrity programs. And

1:18:55

what happened to our basketball? We don't want

1:18:57

them.

1:18:58

yeah. What happened to our basketball thing we were trying

1:19:00

to do? Wasn't really

1:19:01

Why? You literally dropped it down?

1:19:03

Wait. Did what I did. Yeah.

1:19:05

You said you were gonna take take care of

1:19:07

and then take I

1:19:08

said

1:19:08

I was gonna take care. Why would they say

1:19:10

something like that? I don't know. Hey. You because you were in

1:19:12

your mob boss phase and you're because everything was

1:19:14

I'm gonna

1:19:14

take care of it. Yeah. Very good. We know

1:19:16

we gonna We thought you meant that you were gonna whack it.

1:19:19

I did whack it. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you did. But

1:19:22

what what was

1:19:23

it? What were we We was a three on there was

1:19:25

a there's a

1:19:25

three on three.

1:19:26

Thing and we were gonna enter it. We gotta

1:19:29

do that this year. We're not doing it. I'm

1:19:31

not

1:19:31

even gonna play along with the premise because,

1:19:33

again, the way you drop the ball on this,

1:19:36

You This feels like it was a three prongs

1:19:38

-- No. -- kind of No. You point. We're gonna

1:19:40

You I think two of us well, did you play

1:19:42

basketball currently? No. So all three of us

1:19:44

have no business on the

1:19:45

court. That's that's what I was gonna I was

1:19:47

on the basketball. Oh, okay. So one of us But we

1:19:49

were we were we gonna practice or we were just gonna

1:19:52

show up that day. just gonna show up We

1:19:54

gotta do it.

1:19:55

Yeah. I think that would provide provide

1:19:57

entertainment. Yeah. The Aukerman has to have, like,

1:19:59

the easy

1:19:59

game. As you know, on your soccer

1:20:02

team socket, the other teams don't

1:20:04

enjoy the three of us are dealing with that

1:20:06

basketball. Nobody's gonna no one will

1:20:08

do it. That's not even the entertainment. When you think

1:20:10

okay. We love the Harlem Globetrotters because

1:20:12

they're so good. What about what about

1:20:15

the surfers?

1:20:15

Yeah. Like, wouldn't we love that just as much?

1:20:18

People who are as mad at best about as the

1:20:20

Globetrotters

1:20:21

are good at it.

1:20:21

Alright. Let's do it.

1:20:23

You're back in back in back in. I am back in. Yeah. I do

1:20:25

think there's This is how we sell it

1:20:26

to the crowds in the we're the bad team.

1:20:29

Maybe we should pitch ourselves to the Globetrotters because

1:20:31

they've been playing the same team forever. We must be

1:20:33

a new team that can play playing the

1:20:35

generals. Yeah. We're like

1:20:37

were they the wife guys? Yeah.

1:20:39

You saw the charge from the generals? That's

1:20:41

why I saw him

1:20:42

playing. That was crazy.

1:20:43

That's Interesting. Interesting. Wait a minute. What city

1:20:46

did you Where the where the Globetrotters won? Because that's

1:20:48

the game I saw. One. Yeah. Yeah. So we're really Sometimes,

1:20:50

though. No. Right? They don't.

1:20:53

They look they lost once by accident, apparently.

1:20:55

That's

1:20:56

true. You can look that up on on Wikipedia.

1:20:58

They did accidentally lose.

1:20:59

How do

1:20:59

you accidentally lose? They they like,

1:21:02

they they lost track of the clock and

1:21:04

because they were under oh, and they're supposed

1:21:06

to, like, witness that they're down and then they get

1:21:08

back, and they they fucked up, and the clock ran

1:21:10

out before they came back up.

1:21:11

There's a lot The last, like, five minutes

1:21:13

is real

1:21:14

nasty. Yeah. Yeah.

1:21:15

Right. So

1:21:15

they left the other team get way ahead. And then it's like,

1:21:17

okay. We're gonna play real basketball and kick

1:21:19

their ass -- Right. -- and

1:21:20

they match what they've lost. Oh my god.

1:21:22

I would have loved to have been there that day. About

1:21:24

a crime. What did it do they go around apologizing

1:21:27

to

1:21:27

the crowd and give them, like, tickets to another

1:21:29

show? Or what

1:21:29

did they just tell the kids, look, this is what happened.

1:21:32

In sports.

1:21:32

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Right. Sometimes

1:21:34

you win. Sometimes you lose. Mm-mm.

1:21:37

Did you know that Oliver was once chosen from

1:21:39

the audience

1:21:40

too? It'd be part of the club brother. Did

1:21:42

they throw confetti on him? Or They did not.

1:21:44

They they grabbed him, and then they

1:21:46

they were using him as as a block.

1:21:49

Oh, wow. Then they whisper in

1:21:51

his ear. It's not legal. Right?

1:21:52

Probably not. They whisper in his ear. We're gonna put you down,

1:21:55

then run between the run between the big Yeezy's legs.

1:21:57

And so

1:21:58

so they they they do it and they put him down and

1:22:00

then Oliver ran between the legs because, you know, he's --

1:22:02

Right. -- got a foot and a half tall and the audience

1:22:05

was fucking crazy and then Oliver came back to me and I go,

1:22:07

how was that? He was freightening. Just

1:22:10

think about it. You're a solid watch basketball and

1:22:12

a seven foot tall man grabs

1:22:14

you.

1:22:14

Yes. I don't I wouldn't have been able to do

1:22:16

it. I think I was way too shy at that age.

1:22:18

They must have some sort of like

1:22:20

shydar. I don't think

1:22:22

you have a choice. Really? They just just

1:22:25

grab someone.

1:22:25

Wow. And then was this the only kid

1:22:28

there? Or do you think your seats had something to do

1:22:30

with it? But we were courtside. We were

1:22:32

courtside. Alright. Really way to do it.

1:22:34

You had the the

1:22:35

I don't see a spot on the left side on the

1:22:37

left side. That's right. It was me,

1:22:39

Jack -- Yeah.

1:22:40

-- those tickets will run you upwards of forty

1:22:42

so we get a court side. But No. I have

1:22:44

never seen them. I would like to see them, especially after that

1:22:46

amazing race season where every time they were on,

1:22:48

you heard, do you do you do

1:22:50

you? You. Man, the writers of that song

1:22:53

were so stoked. Yeah. It's fun

1:22:55

to see once. That's a truth. What time

1:22:57

is fun to see? Because then the second time

1:22:59

it's like, It's like seeing kiss. Yeah. They're

1:23:01

doing exactly the same

1:23:02

thing. Yeah.

1:23:03

They are they are coming to LA in

1:23:05

February, but we gotta go and play

1:23:07

him. I

1:23:09

have the jump. The jump is that we

1:23:11

gotta get our merchandise. Valentine's Day. We gotta

1:23:13

play What if you did? They love their

1:23:15

wives. I've got to be home. They are

1:23:17

here on Valentine's Day.

1:23:20

That's what the wives want. You guys don't understand.

1:23:22

You mind our wives. They wanna be home

1:23:24

alone. They want the quiet from our best

1:23:26

pets. We understand women better you.

1:23:28

Let us tell you. We're happy to do it.

1:23:30

I I would love going there in,

1:23:32