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do it with us on stage. We would love

1:01

to hear from you. So all you've got to

1:04

do is send us a message at Newlyweds Podcast

1:06

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1:08

newlyweds at jampopproductions.co.uk. Start

1:11

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1:13

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1:16

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1:18

It's going to be incredible. And also, if

1:20

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1:23

wherever you're listening to it, because it makes

1:25

the world a difference. Okay, you ready for

1:27

this, honey? We're ready. Let's go.

1:35

People listening to this don't know where we are. Okay,

1:37

so we're in Liverpool. Yeah,

1:39

we're in Liverpool. Got a checker? Oh,

1:43

it's funny. You're just

1:45

ridiculous. Check in the rice. Fucking

1:47

really bad. You

1:49

have to give reference of what's going on. Guys, we're

1:51

in Liverpool because we are

1:54

recording a podcast because we're on

1:56

our tour. It's commenced. It

1:59

starts tomorrow. We're gonna be

2:01

in Scotland. My

2:03

brain isn't working. We're driving up to

2:05

Glasgow today and we're in Liverpool because

2:07

God only knows why, to be honest.

2:09

God only knows why. Why

2:11

don't you explain, give us a run

2:13

through of what's happened, where we are, what we're doing. All right.

2:16

So we get in a car on Sunday

2:19

and we drive six hours to Liverpool.

2:21

Yes. Was it six hours? Yeah, about. No,

2:24

it was about three hours. It was about four. We

2:26

arrive in Liverpool and we

2:28

go for dinner. We went

2:30

to a Greek restaurant, delicious.

2:32

We ate. There's no need for this. Right.

2:35

OK, so we're in Liverpool because we're rehearsing for our show. There we

2:37

go. In Glasgow, I don't know

2:39

why we're rehearsing in Liverpool because we're not doing

2:41

a show here. I don't know. I couldn't tell

2:43

you, but I just go with the flow because

2:45

I'm easy breezy like that. You

2:49

didn't know why we were going to Liverpool. Do you

2:51

know? There you go. Tell me why. I

2:54

actually don't know. Why are we in Liverpool?

2:56

I actually don't know why we're in Liverpool.

2:59

We just decided to convoy. We got

3:01

in the car. Decoy, so we decoyed

3:03

to Liverpool just because why the hell

3:06

not? We just got in the car

3:08

and just decided to go to Liverpool to rehearse in Liverpool.

3:10

It was just always a race that we were

3:12

rehearsing in Liverpool. Despite us living in London,

3:15

I'm sure there are lots of rehearsable spaces

3:17

in London, but no, no, no, we like

3:19

to make life easy for ourselves. Off we

3:21

go to Liverpool. Because we're currently on tour right?

3:24

I said that. I know. I'm just making it clear

3:26

that we are actually on tour. We're

3:28

cruising about. We're having well

3:30

over time. Jamie, keep saying to me, I love

3:32

seeing on tour every five minutes. I do.

3:35

I love it. Well, you do not actually like

3:37

it today? No, because today, do you know why?

3:39

It's because we've been rehearsing for the last three

3:41

days. Two days. Three days.

3:43

Don't exaggerate. Two days, Monday and

3:46

Tuesday, Percy Cattor. All right, Percy

3:48

Cattor. We were rehearsing for the last two days.

3:51

And my back hurts. Do you know why? Because

3:54

you've been carrying it. Yes, exactly.

3:57

Ah, your shit, Cattor. Because I'm

3:59

boring. I've been carrying it.

4:01

I have to... You've been carrying

4:03

it? No, let me tell... Guys, I'll tell you what's

4:05

happening. Jamie

4:08

obviously wants to host the Oscars, so

4:10

he's seen this as a preview for

4:12

him hosting the Oscars. He

4:14

thinks, I'm going to host this show to the

4:16

best of my ability, forgetting that people are going

4:19

to see it because it's a podcast. You

4:21

think... That was a little bit real for you, wasn't it? No, it wasn't.

4:24

You were supposed to be the little ones? It

4:26

didn't at all. You think that the reason that

4:28

I want to do the show is because

4:30

this is going to help me host the Oscars? Yes, I

4:32

do. And you don't care if you squash me on your

4:34

way up. What

4:36

are you talking about? Yeah, he's hosting

4:38

away. He's... Basically, guys, he just is

4:41

speaking to the audience like he hosts

4:43

it. But what you're forgetting is...

4:45

Yeah, okay, you've got to obviously talk to the

4:47

audience a little bit, but we, you and I,

4:49

are doing a show together. You're not

4:51

explaining... You're explaining your own emotions.

4:54

Well, I think people could understand it. Look, it's

4:56

a podcast show. You're not talking to me. You're

4:58

just... Basically, you're doing a one-man show. That's what

5:00

you're doing. You're doing a one-man show. I'm not. And

5:04

then you boss me around when I... I'll

5:06

tell you what's happened, guys. Is... Do you know

5:09

what he said? He said, I just was

5:11

anxious for the last show because I thought I was just going to

5:13

have to talk at you for the entire show. And

5:15

I did a little bit. You were amazing. Just

5:17

because you put it on a week before

5:19

my wedding. We've been

5:24

rehearsing. We've been rehearsing really

5:26

long for two days. And

5:29

I'm a little bit tired today, but that's all

5:31

right. And Sophie just smells of Marmite. That's all

5:33

it... Sophie's... I don't know. I don't know. Because

5:35

I'm scared. Because I'm scared. Because I don't want people

5:37

to think differently of me. But

5:40

I've been having a red bull. I had a

5:42

red bull. And I'm convinced that chlorine is coming

5:45

out of my skin. My

5:47

hands smell of like... It's not Marmite, but it

5:49

is a peculiar smell. It's not bad. It's quite

5:52

nice. And don't worry. I've washed them multiple times.

5:54

They still smell of it. It's

5:56

like taurine. It smells of red bulls. It's red bulls,

5:58

think about it. out of my

6:00

hand. I think you mean brushing your teeth with marmite. It's not my

6:02

mouth, that smells of marmite. It is. Will you be brushing

6:04

your teeth with shit? I

6:09

think I've got touring coming out of my hands and

6:11

I just don't know what to say about it but...

6:15

You don't have... Can we please try and

6:17

work out why you think you smell of

6:19

marmite so much? Because it's an interesting smell

6:21

that's coming out of you at the moment.

6:23

It's a lovely smell. What's

6:26

the smell that you often have on your hands?

6:28

What's the smell that you often just sniff and

6:31

then make me smell? What is

6:33

it? It stinks. It absolutely stinks. Wait, what smell do

6:35

I make you smell? I don't know but you've done

6:37

it to me a few times. We all know that

6:39

you like touch your arsehole and smell it. He

6:41

doesn't do it in plain sight anymore because we

6:43

have had words and it isn't a joke. It

6:46

will be cause for divorce. So what I

6:49

think... In plain sight? I don't want to

6:51

be disgusting and this is so great. Why was

6:54

I touching my arsehole in plain sight? Loads!

6:56

Are you serious? I felt like thinking you were

6:58

like... You would touch your arsehole and sniff it.

7:00

Your fingers like that and actually I

7:03

basically didn't know you well enough and I felt

7:05

bad for you because I was like, is this

7:07

somewhere tick he's got? I obviously can't call him

7:09

up on it. Little did I know you were

7:11

doing it in front of me with no shame.

7:14

What was I doing? You sniffed your arsehole and

7:16

then would sniff your fingers like that. Yeah

7:19

you did. That's a complete joke. You

7:21

embarrassing me in front of everyone. You

7:23

don't go in that way. You go in

7:25

that way. Why don't you go

7:28

in the front way or the back way? Right

7:30

but basically I just don't

7:32

know how to describe it and this is

7:34

so vile but if anyone... I

7:36

don't know the smell sounds like

7:38

earrings. That's the only way I can smell

7:40

it. What my smell that I have? Like

7:42

we can't talk about it. We can't because people will

7:45

start to be disgusted at you. Can you please tell

7:47

me that I don't actually do that? You do do

7:49

it all the time. Are you joking? All the time.

7:51

I really don't. And also this is something to

7:53

have under your do or some weird like madder.

7:55

I don't use American psych-a-a-a. It's like you've got

7:57

to be like, I'm not

7:59

doing What have you for your buell playing

8:02

the The Xylophone? What Is that? What Does

8:04

Ads. Are you look like A

8:06

by Monica? Misses me. He does Asia with your.

8:08

Fingers over, you know? Yet. Still,

8:11

I don't do that. Disappears. Other but

8:13

you do So The marmite in that's lovely and

8:16

amazing and it's great. Today's going to be a

8:18

great episode because we're too gross he things but

8:20

also very exciting Me On the episode we have

8:22

produce a Jack who is on tour with us

8:24

currently Whoop whoop and he's going to give us

8:27

an insight into what is like behind the scenes

8:29

on tour with us. So. Sweet

8:31

given to have said yes. On

8:37

Tv Leg and I see a

8:39

we met five years ago and

8:42

Van. Yes,

8:44

we'll. Run.

8:46

And Get rid Of Me. And

8:49

everyone was of as newlyweds podcast my name

8:51

is Jamie laying. On my name is Stacey.

8:54

They. That's. right? honey? And. Won't see

8:56

to be say see lang Wow. Oh,

8:58

that's a big step for you Navy for why

9:00

would you want to change it? Will. You always

9:02

tell me and stay. At. Never

9:04

say you have to take a lead says it until

9:07

safety of them. Were just across the bed

9:09

when it needs to the cost towards

9:11

been seen guys because we have or

9:13

I puffins happy when. same out for

9:15

the last three days we. Base have

9:17

been lying eyepatch really badly but

9:19

has he know in London April

9:21

on of hop. Liverpool not

9:23

say months' gavel plans I

9:26

am for raising. Walking around

9:28

with teeth a so dire dumper. I

9:30

have to I had to play some a jumper

9:32

Bacillus hope I have forgotten to bring what he

9:34

brush which. I have to sort of.

9:36

Birds Birds are you know this? He says you to

9:39

seizing on day one. I have been given using it

9:41

since he arrived. I will be say. I'd be

9:43

easier to the service who to either thing. As a

9:45

problem with that I. Do I definitely do?

9:47

because I love you dearly? But

9:50

no. No No No No Are you

9:52

serious? Know Jamie, Come on. I don't

9:54

like that. I be easy or cheap. Us.

9:57

It morning and evening. Before. Uses

9:59

well. time. It's always got like gross

10:01

toothpaste ripping down it and I'm judging myself. I'm

10:03

like what is wrong with me? Why am I

10:05

not washing my teeth past properly? You

10:08

sicko. Are you, why are you so

10:10

worried about me? Because Jamie, you tell

10:12

me you're bad teeth. I don't

10:15

have bad teeth

10:17

at all. I have really clean teeth.

10:19

Like some people, like you

10:21

went to the hygienist and they said that you've

10:23

just like bad teeth, right? No they didn't. They

10:25

said no. What did they say? I love

10:28

you so much. I don't want those germs on

10:30

my toothbrush. I don't have any germs in my mouth.

10:32

I think my mouth is very clean. My

10:35

breath does not smell out. I know we've

10:37

been making it out. Your breath stinks

10:39

of Marmite so there you go. Oh for

10:41

god sake it doesn't and you know what if it

10:43

did that smells like puppy breaths. Puppy

10:46

breaths they smell of Marmite and weed debates. Do

10:50

they really? Yeah if I could have a puppy it would be

10:52

the smell of puppy breath. Really? Yeah.

10:54

So are you using your toothbrush

10:56

which is great. Sophie is

10:58

also one of the most exciting

11:00

things I've ever seen. Sophie decided to go

11:02

and buy some Crocs

11:04

didn't you? Yeah. She's wearing,

11:06

are you wearing them today? Yeah. They're down there.

11:09

Sophie has bought, you can't, you won't be able

11:11

to see this because obviously podcast, she's bought leather

11:13

Crocs. Leather

11:15

Crocs. Just picture. Shorts,

11:20

like socks. Why are you holding them

11:22

up there? They're really big as well.

11:24

I mean but guys Crocs, wow

11:27

they're comfy. I don't know why I got a

11:29

size nine. Are you joking? I

11:31

got a size nine. They've been full boats

11:33

on my feet and I'm like Jesus what's

11:35

going on here. So I

11:38

bought myself a size nine, carry one of them

11:40

a size five. I

11:42

bought myself four size up and clomping about

11:44

and it just clomps around Liverpool in the

11:46

rain. Great. It's

11:48

real great. It's actually been so

11:51

funny and then one night

11:53

we were, came

11:55

back from our rehearsal day and

11:57

we Were going to bed. The

12:00

and say we had one. He does

12:02

have a drink of this Magnesium drink.

12:04

hold on let me just finish she's

12:06

and have a drink of this magnesium

12:09

drink. So I drank it and. I

12:11

have never needed the sits more my entire

12:13

life. You put laxatives in that drink and

12:16

do not like Tell Me the Truth and

12:18

his podcasts. Did you put laxative in that?

12:20

Drew know. While know people are going

12:22

awry and because I am aware that

12:24

magnesium helps your digestive system I in

12:27

the lab it is not about that.

12:29

A lot safe and magnesium is typically

12:31

tell you not a system. That.

12:34

Anyway I have had that my season.

12:36

how's your digestive systems node I will happen

12:39

she was nothing to do the you a

12:41

a bowl of chili and against. Straight see

12:43

a know it wasn't that a huge shows

12:45

are and where to go said I was

12:47

damaged growth of our lord. I. Know I'm zachary

12:50

Day and city where. Is the greatest

12:52

thing was about a room in the booth

12:54

is the fence sitters and version of why

12:56

the hotel was designed like this. Because if

12:58

you are having a romantic weekend away be

13:00

worth the world. But. You

13:02

come into the you go into the room

13:04

and as a bedroom in there on the

13:06

rise and on the right hands on the

13:08

bathroom the both of his glass sixty is

13:10

it will it'll say not Sombra is is

13:12

this of. And.

13:15

I was say it. As bad as

13:17

the think you'll see if you're sitting

13:20

in a window. Oh say I'm I'm

13:22

like what I see puts you sits

13:24

in the bedroom. Live in

13:26

a toss it in early East is Paula

13:28

her now as it has an aegis. And

13:31

she's to play. I think zip know how to get

13:33

the curtain rounded so didn't those with. With

13:35

your arms. That. Was

13:37

a laxative in it? Know. That was and be

13:39

you paid so not It was one of

13:41

the was a raise of my life. I've

13:43

never had you the along. I'd

13:46

never have allowed to the boy my hasn't

13:48

So thinking allied Destiny think we need

13:50

a tactile. And name who is as he the

13:52

worst thing the ever. In what

13:54

is the best thing about being on toward

13:57

me? Gibbs's. I

13:59

lightning until without. you will. Well

14:01

you don't like being... No I love you but you are

14:03

quite hectic about it. What am I hectic

14:06

about? You are like

14:08

your brain. I can't bear talking to someone when their

14:10

eyes are like not looking at you so you'll be

14:12

speaking to them and he'll be like thinking

14:15

about something else and then he'll be like yeah yeah

14:17

so guys what we need to do and I'm like

14:19

okay no point then. You

14:21

just made no sense. I know I

14:24

know but I'm also tired of it

14:26

so I don't know. Exhausted. You can't

14:28

just flip flop into doing... I'm

14:30

exhausted. You can't go... What is the best thing

14:32

about being on tour with me? Go. The

14:34

best thing about being on tour with you is... Yeah.

14:39

Literally nothing. Are you joking? I can

14:41

say what the worst things are. Okay what are the

14:44

worst things? Okay the worst things are you're really bossing

14:46

you tell me over and over and over and

14:48

over and over again that I need to wait

14:50

for the audience to react and I repeat I

14:52

will wait for the audience to react when they

14:54

react but I can't pretend how long they're going

14:56

to laugh for. They are not here in rehearsals

14:59

and you will do it again the next time

15:01

but just wait for the audience to act. There's

15:03

no fucking audience! That's

15:06

driving me insane. That's

15:08

really driving me insane. And

15:12

what other things? What other

15:14

things? Oh just so much to be honest. I'm gonna go

15:16

so much. That,

15:18

that's driving me insane. What

15:20

other things? You make me laugh

15:22

so much. One of the

15:24

funniest things that's happened so far on tour is I'm not

15:27

going to ruin it for anyone who is who has been

15:29

on tour or is coming on tour so I'm going to

15:31

keep it a secret but we have a surprise for people

15:33

on who are coming to the show which is going to

15:35

be amazing and the surprise

15:37

is a person who is on tour with

15:39

us. Okay. And they've been rehearsing with us

15:41

because we had to do things and they

15:44

were sitting in the front of the car

15:46

and Sophie was in the back and Sophie

15:48

suddenly laughed and snorted and spat and

15:50

the spit landed on his

15:52

jacket. No, that's far

15:55

away because he's getting

15:57

less of this I don't know. Where

16:00

does the hot thing and points against

16:03

in a way for so were you

16:05

into anything about as an assistant? What

16:07

are the things had been? Guess. Ah,

16:09

use it or me. The most amazing

16:12

story that lot I just had no

16:14

idea about ever is that. Your.

16:17

Dad's. Poetry. Went.

16:20

And bought you some medicine to meet your

16:22

boobs growth. Oh yeah I was like

16:24

for see. New release at the scene that one

16:26

understand this ago against. I and I sat

16:28

in a hurry lay I will develop

16:30

play as a pet peeve Sea Lanes

16:32

Acer I have spell out flop aids

16:34

and I really wanted big these anyway

16:36

by my school that was hobbled Chinese

16:38

Herbal Medicine. Place. And

16:41

i i say to what would have com they

16:43

than the at the age of maybe thousand and

16:45

fourteen to go in there but i went in

16:47

there and said to that man behind the counter.

16:51

To have a pair of I can make. My these hey

16:53

it's. And

16:55

he said he yes I do and he went

16:58

into the bad and he got mean these like

17:00

pills and they. Rely on a hot and

17:02

much money. So I got all my coins, get

17:04

my lunch money and I paid these pills and

17:06

then I ran out on a set of say

17:08

take my dad and I said can you a

17:11

pay cut these pill I made him get by

17:13

these people's way. And

17:15

I think to this day he thinks. Noom.

17:17

As an outlay along the way. Is

17:19

complete and utter nonsense. Others because

17:21

we live would have the momentum

17:24

going on. Tour: We're going to

17:26

Glasgow months to Birmingham, Dublin, London.

17:28

Yeah. I was going on and

17:30

quick far questions. About.

17:33

Different people and where they come from. I want to use

17:35

trying to the accent as well. As if I

17:37

was gross, A picky blind poses a bad am.

17:40

Eating. Piggy Binders from Bavaria on board a big

17:42

and if you're going to be some big blind

17:44

is how to go. What's his name? Thomas.

17:47

Store Shelby. And some saddening

17:49

him to have some my coop. Know.

17:53

Bags signed your ass. With

17:55

the done some banning and that as livable

17:57

my. Corpse. Nowhere is that It

17:59

is. Alright, we'll do Birmingham then.

18:01

I'm from Birmingham. There you go. Got some

18:03

Michael. Why did you keep saying that?

18:05

Michael. Because in drama school, someone taught

18:07

me that's how you get into a Birmingham accent. There's

18:10

always words to trigger you. Okay. Not

18:12

to go to drugs, but we'll do that. Next question. Here

18:15

we go. You're looking at that. Karma class. Next

18:18

question. Oasis. Where

18:20

are they from? Manchester. Am

18:22

I right? And who are the lead singers of Oasis? Hi.

18:24

Who are the lead singers of Oasis? I

18:27

have no idea who the Oasis are. Kyle.

18:30

Kyle. And try and

18:32

do the Oasis accent. Sophie,

18:38

give me five minutes

18:40

piece. I just

18:42

want five minutes piece. It's

18:45

not bad. Okay. It's not

18:47

bad. It's not bad. No. Stop

18:49

looking to everyone for support. Did you intro Manchester?

18:51

Right. Okay. I'm going

18:53

to quickfire. You can do it. It's quickfire.

18:56

Lorraine Kelly. Oh, Scotland. Okay.

18:59

We're going to go to the accent. Scuff fish. Okay.

19:02

I'm going to go into the next one. What other pieces are we

19:04

going to do? What about Bono? Dublin. And

19:07

who's Bono the lead singer for? Bono. I

19:09

fucking know. Try and guess. Bono

19:11

is a solo artist, isn't he? No. The Rolling

19:13

States? Bono is one

19:15

of the biggest bands in the world. Take

19:27

that? I don't know. Keep

19:30

going. You're close. You are actually

19:32

close. Okay. So the

19:34

Rolling Stones, take that. Name another big

19:36

boy band. Westlife. Close.

19:40

One Direction. You've been Bono's the lead

19:42

singer of Westlife. Narl

19:45

Diamond. You know what's

19:47

really bad? You

19:50

know what, guys? You

19:52

know what's really bad about this segment? I'm

19:56

getting anxiety and I don't feel comfortable because

19:58

I read on TikTok. people are

20:00

writing it's so obvious she's putting

20:03

on how dumb she is so

20:05

now I'm really self-conscious because I'm not

20:08

because I'm not so I don't want to

20:10

do these sections anymore one more

20:12

guess just not clued up on every

20:14

band name that's true not so

20:17

Nile Diamond Neil Diamond

20:19

okay not Neil Diamond Bono

20:22

last no okay fucking I'll take that

20:24

okay I'm gonna do the first thing

20:26

assault and honor no first letter you

20:28

Oh UTA what

20:32

I just don't know you

20:35

that's the first and the second one is what give

20:37

a number you

20:39

three I don't know

20:41

I'm really young actually

20:44

I'm young you too

20:46

yeah well done honey okay

20:49

Mick Huttknell you

20:51

gotta be kidding Mick Huttknell actor

20:54

no singer these from places that we're

20:57

yeah where's Mick Huttknell from Birmingham no

20:59

Guinness Ireland well

21:01

done I'll blend Alice in Hammon Ireland

21:04

your man your man your woman Alice

21:07

in Hammon she's from London Birmingham Birmingham

21:10

and then the last one knees and tatis

21:12

oh Glasgow that's exactly

21:14

from Scotland that's exactly it oh my god

21:16

that was a bit

21:19

for long if I'm totally sure you get check

21:21

on the podcast I tell you what honey because

21:23

we're in tour we're gonna speed

21:25

through the episode in a lovely way so

21:27

I think to relax everyone I

21:29

think it's time for mom

21:41

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21:43

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21:46

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22:30

catch up on the latest episodes

22:33

without the ads. Thank

22:42

you guys so much as any notices

22:44

messages always we absolutely love them! I

22:46

say the same thing every time. You

22:49

day in. A

22:51

So boring. No biggie saying.

22:53

Okay, which we get straight into that

22:56

one. Okay I walesa's message from anonymous:

22:58

Hello gorgeous pair. And I

23:00

saw I resist others, a new relationship

23:02

and one lazy Saturday morning we were

23:05

getting down with the good stuff. I

23:07

had just started to given Blow Job.

23:09

And. For you know it, We were starting

23:12

to practice like of. My

23:14

deep throated technique. Santa.

23:20

Fe freaky this wasn't as relationship

23:22

was extremely vanilla. Service was never

23:24

on the cards. How.

23:27

Was that vanilla? Of at it

23:30

now offer one of practicing a few laughs

23:32

said and some cyber. They planted saying they

23:34

were just doing it by. Yeah, I

23:36

think say a few loss and

23:38

some sad serious gag reflex overcoming.

23:40

We finally made some progress and

23:42

he said that he was getting

23:44

close. suddenly seen in quite confident

23:46

I thought oh yeah you are

23:48

and pushed myself. I'm

23:52

greedy can see sorry sorry to

23:55

rewind cigars it's I know Jasmine

23:57

by just a hostile inside I'm

23:59

I'm and to have brought tears

24:01

to date I. Said. It's

24:04

it's that guy going into this. Way I'd

24:06

skulls guys coming patent is doing now and

24:08

that you just go through yoga agrees that

24:10

I'm baffled and owners he baffled I would

24:12

you can pay me to say would you

24:14

mind is giving me a chance of this.

24:17

Would. You my let me practice on the. Those.

24:23

And gagging, spluttering and i tried to regain

24:25

my composure were found myself in see thinking

24:27

i'm going be sick with fair and pure

24:30

panic as the feeding to goad me despite

24:32

trying to breed of the same time inhaling

24:34

even more of his dick in my throat

24:36

it's the. List

24:39

from Us. And

24:41

the ways they to panic seem like a

24:43

good vomit worst start choking I found myself

24:46

so. As to say

24:48

the same as really gone viral on

24:50

the zone to read this our gas

24:52

is server logs fear to vomit was

24:55

died so the on his dick I

24:57

found myself the wanting to making come

24:59

hilarious I know you really should bliss

25:02

suddenly oh no you know the feeling

25:04

goes. Yeah. I

25:07

agree. novel. On my blog

25:09

is going on that? Are

25:11

you joking? Are

25:13

you Joe Gibbs? The

25:15

yeah I know specifically com o

25:17

the have they will Whether it

25:19

was a drone. A specific. Oh

25:24

My. God. We thought. I.

25:26

Vomited. His

25:29

penis was still Nordstrom well and truly

25:31

somewhere quite tricky and I could feel

25:34

the sick coming up fast and the

25:36

had nowhere to go. Oh hello snorting

25:38

bomb is hop mogul through outdoors. I

25:40

have honestly never want to die more.

25:42

I was mortified. I lay there is

25:44

silence what seem like an eternity as

25:46

he very sweetly and lovingly reassured me.

25:49

It. Couldn't have put him off though

25:51

because ten minutes later we back

25:53

at the same game Instantly literati

25:55

have thought of that is the

25:57

most aggressive. Listener.

26:00

message you're being silly today we've had worse than

26:02

that I don't know if there's anything wrong with

26:04

it and by the way have I got a bruise

26:06

I'm just annoyed that I never thought that you

26:08

had to practice like I just wasn't in the

26:10

know I each do their own you know what

26:12

I mean okay oh

26:15

my god okay Jesus these ones today are full

26:17

on are you ready for this one yeah okay

26:19

this is from anonymous hmm I

26:22

mean people are really sending them in today people are going

26:24

for it we're in a

26:27

honeymoon and Fiji and we decided to book a

26:29

special day trip to our very own private desert

26:31

island the gore with a gorgeous picnic

26:33

the next morning the crew took

26:35

us by speedboat to this incredible island and just

26:38

a few rocks and palm trees they set up

26:40

this stunning picnic and left us saying they would

26:42

be back in a few hours to pick us

26:44

up sounds like you

26:46

know yeah this was in the days

26:48

before mobile phones so we were totally

26:50

marooned and it was totally magical we

26:53

cracked open some champagne and had a

26:55

little explore the island was

26:58

tiny and we were completely alone

27:00

so decided to strip off and

27:02

enjoy the Sun exactly what we did sand

27:05

and sea totally naked and of course we

27:07

were a little bit frisky not like us

27:09

okay it's totally not like us halfway

27:12

through I suddenly got the most horrific tummy cramps

27:14

and realized that I desperately needed a poo with

27:17

some serious urgency last

27:19

night's lobster had obviously not agreed with

27:21

me my husband thought

27:24

it was hilarious and pointed at the rocks and said

27:26

I should just run over there and relieve myself with

27:28

a small amount of privacy this

27:30

was not the romantic honeymoon I had imagined

27:33

I managed to run to the rocks just in time and

27:35

the relief was immense with no loo

27:38

roll and anything I hurried chucks and sand

27:40

over the enormous poo and went for a

27:42

swim to freshen myself up we

27:44

then got back down to it until I noticed my

27:46

husband was slightly distracted looking over to the sea oh

27:49

god I turned to follow a

27:51

stand a small cruise ship had appeared out of

27:53

nowhere before we knew it

27:55

they had launched a tender and were motoring

27:58

towards our private desert island We

28:00

couldn't believe it. We grabbed our

28:02

clothes and covered ourselves up in

28:04

just time for 30 tourists arriving

28:06

at the beach shouting hello and

28:08

invading our magical peaceful day. We

28:11

were horrified. They then started

28:13

exploring the island and set up a volleyball

28:15

net and god knows what else. You

28:18

can imagine my horror when a group started

28:20

heading towards the rocks. I had

28:22

not long earlier used as a private loo.

28:26

It wasn't long before one of the ladies shouted

28:28

back towards the group. Hey guys, there must be

28:30

wild animals on the island as there's a huge

28:32

pile of shit here. I

28:38

was mortified. The island was tiny and there was basically no

28:40

animals at all on the island, just me and my husband.

28:43

We had to sit there for four hours waiting for our

28:45

speed boat to come pick us up and return us to

28:47

our hotel. While as the cruise passengers

28:49

searched the island for the mysterious wild animals.

28:52

It wasn't exactly the romantic and magical day we'd

28:55

thought we'd signed up for. That is genius. That

28:57

is genius. Okay, I've got

28:59

a love story. Okay, give it to me honey. I

29:02

thought I'd tell you about how my boyfriend and I met.

29:05

For a few years I've been going to a modern

29:07

jive class. Jive dance class.

29:09

About two and a half years ago I went

29:11

to my usual dance class with my sister and

29:13

saw this man standing over on the other side.

29:16

I'd never seen him before and I told my sister how

29:18

good looking I thought he was. I

29:20

found out that one of our friends on the

29:23

dance class had brought along a few of his

29:25

friends from work to try the dance class and

29:27

that included this new handsome man. Our

29:29

friend told me to go and dance with

29:31

this guy as he's new and very nervous.

29:34

So if I went to dance with him, I was

29:36

so scared as it is so not like me to do something like

29:38

that. We had a dance and

29:40

I could feel that the connection between us was so strong.

29:44

After the dance had finished I went over to my

29:46

sister and I said I found the love of my

29:48

life. I even found my mum and told her that

29:50

I was in love. I felt so silly saying it

29:52

at the time. The next week

29:54

my sister and I went back to the same dance class and

29:56

I really hoped he was going to be there again. I walked

29:59

in and there he was. I went

30:01

over and asked him to dance and we had a

30:03

few other dancers throughout the night. He

30:05

made me laugh so much that I couldn't believe how lucky I

30:07

was to find him, but I felt he was

30:09

out of my league. At the end

30:11

of the night, he asked if I was going to come

30:14

to the class next week. I wasn't

30:16

able to, so I said no. I

30:18

then asked if he was going and he said, there's no reason

30:20

for me to come if you're not going to be here. My

30:23

heart melted and I had so many butterflies in

30:25

my tummy. But then the

30:27

dance class ended and he laughed without saying

30:29

goodbye. I was glassesed so they thought he

30:31

must not like me. I

30:33

walked out of the dance class with my sister and there

30:36

he was. He'd been waiting for me to come

30:38

out as he wanted to get my number. It

30:40

was really like a scene out of a rom-com. I

30:43

gave him my number and the rest is history.

30:45

Two and a half years down and forever to

30:47

go. And to this day, we still go to

30:50

that dance class, but now we go along together.

30:52

Oh, I got tingles. Tingle!

30:55

That is so lovely. It was

30:57

everywhere. You just need to not look and it'll

30:59

be around the corner. We

31:01

obviously are all over the place at

31:03

the moment because being on tour, but

31:05

this was recorded whilst on the tour

31:07

in Glasgow. Here

31:10

it is. Tingle! All

31:16

right, you ready for this one? This is from, I'm going

31:18

to say the name. It's from someone called

31:21

Carrie. Okay,

31:24

well, we're going to... Carrie? You

31:26

ready for this? My

31:29

ex-boyfriend accidentally

31:31

posted a picture of

31:34

my mum giving

31:36

him a blowjob on

31:40

Facebook. This

31:44

was two years after we broke up and

31:47

the photo was from when we were going out.

31:50

No. No. He

31:53

got in touch and we're back together. What?

31:58

What do I do? You've

32:02

not said the best bit. Shall I read

32:04

it? Yup. Maybe I'm Dalulu but

32:07

he said mine were better. Kerry!

32:12

Kerry! We need words. No,

32:15

no. No! Going back to

32:17

that boyfriend. And your mum,

32:19

no, no. But

32:22

maybe they were just, I don't know, maybe they

32:24

were like, no! That?

32:26

That's causing a barrier. Honey, just maybe

32:28

there's, maybe there was like a joke or April Fools,

32:31

maybe there was a... She was sucking

32:33

her dick for a day. Yeah,

32:35

sucking her dick. Go.

32:45

That is wild. What a laugh.

32:48

What a laugh. They're still together.

32:50

It's wild. It's wild. I

32:53

just can't understand how she'd taken back. I

32:56

think they might, like maybe, like, I don't know, maybe

32:58

there's a reasoning behind it. No, there isn't. If

33:00

your mum is sucking your

33:02

boyfriend's dick, you go,

33:05

bye-bye to them both. To

33:07

them both? I'm not accepting my mum

33:10

doing that. No, no. I

33:12

think I'd have to reevaluate our relationship.

33:14

Would you really? Yes. You could, come

33:16

on. Forgiveness, honey. No.

33:19

No. Guys,

33:21

I want to say a big thank you for all

33:23

of your messages. They were pretty wild today, but also

33:26

the love story was amazing. As

33:28

always, you can send us all of

33:30

your messages, anything at all. Wedding season

33:33

is on the horizon, so maybe some

33:35

wedding stories as well. Please send them

33:37

to at Newlyweds Podcast. You just slide

33:40

into our DMs or send us an

33:42

email newlyweds at jampotproductions.co.uk. Everything

33:45

is in the show description if you want it. And please

33:47

send them in because we want to hear from you. That's

33:50

the end of... ...listener's messages.

34:00

that we did an episode before where we

34:02

had an emotional time saying

34:04

goodbye to producer Jack. Well

34:07

producer Jack has actually come

34:09

on tour with us which is really

34:12

really exciting. So how

34:15

do you feel about producer Jack being on

34:17

tour with us? I absolutely bloody love it.

34:19

Yeah it's amazing right? So we thought what

34:22

better way to gauge what we're like on

34:24

tour because we're doing it at the moment

34:26

then to get producer Jack on to discuss it

34:28

all. Are you ready for that? I'm so ready.

34:30

Okay please welcome to the episode producer Jack. Jackie

34:39

how are you? I'm fantastic thanks. I like

34:41

how you asked Sophie what it's like.

34:43

Like she had to say it was nice I'm so close you know

34:45

it'd been weird if... Yeah that's true. But

34:48

it is nice, it's lovely. I don't

34:50

think... what are you... you're thinking about two things at

34:52

once. I'm not. I think you are. Your

34:55

hair is freaking out. You're thinking about two things

34:57

at once because I think if I asked you

34:59

a question right now you'd be like thinking about

35:01

one thing but it came back. I'm not. I'm

35:03

very good at multitasking. So what are you thinking

35:05

about something else? No. You were? Jack how is

35:07

it? Every day it's been like this.

35:10

Yeah so good. I've been... it's been so fun hasn't

35:12

it? Jackie give it to me. So what is it

35:14

like being on tour with us? You have to give

35:16

us everything. Okay well it started off with a bang.

35:18

You're in the car together. You're in a wife

35:21

beater with your shoes off and your

35:23

feet out. Oh gosh yeah your feet

35:25

out. Yeah I was okay. That sort

35:27

of... I actually think you two are

35:29

because obviously I mainly spent time with

35:31

you like in the studio. We

35:33

haven't spent that much time sort of outside

35:35

you know like this has been more time

35:37

than ever before. Has it really? I think

35:40

so and I've sort of really got to

35:42

see a side of it. I'm like oh

35:44

no they are... they really are like this

35:46

all the time. Wait wait. They're quite eccentric.

35:48

Wait wait explain. Explain this. Well I

35:50

just think you both quite... well there's

35:52

been multiple times where I'll just sort of walk into

35:54

a room and genuinely just hit meow and I thought

35:57

that was just a thing you did at home. No.

36:00

Sophie's just, wow, is there a cat

36:02

in here? It's a different

36:04

frequency, it's a very high frequency, it

36:06

goes high. Wait, so Jackie, you've

36:08

noticed that? Yeah, yesterday we were

36:10

in quite a nice restaurant, a

36:12

nice restaurant. Waiting for

36:15

our meal, just a

36:17

starter. Jamie, you've got a big

36:19

bag of sweets. Yeah, yeah. You'll just

36:21

eat it in fizzy rainbows before the start

36:23

of your 35. Oh my. Yeah,

36:26

yeah. Oh, you've got a less sourcady. So

36:29

who do you think is weirder since spending

36:31

time with us? I think you bring

36:33

out the weird in each other. OK, firstly, you have

36:35

to get into us. What am I like to work

36:37

with when it comes to doing our tour? What's it

36:39

like? So I came in, so we're doing

36:41

the rehearsals in Liverpool. Do you want to know why

36:43

we're in Liverpool, by the way? Yeah. Because

36:45

it's cheaper to do it here than it is in

36:48

London. Oh, quite a lot. Yeah, it's quite a boring

36:50

reason. So we're in the

36:52

big studio space. I

36:54

get in there an hour earlier. This is quite a big

36:56

team. You know, we've got lighting people and camera people. And

36:58

we've all got to sort of set it up and make

37:01

it look perfect. And

37:03

stage direction. And we'll plan it all, like

37:05

meticulously look through every point, make sure we're

37:07

meeting it. We've got cue points. Yeah. Jamie

37:10

comes in, right? Why don't we just change everything

37:12

and start it like this and do this? About

37:15

literally for the first 20 minutes, it's

37:17

for the first 20 minutes, it's complete

37:19

chaos. Jamie's like, guys, can you

37:22

sit down? You're like, yeah, right. So I've got

37:24

another idea. I've got a little bit up and

37:26

down, up and down. And I look

37:28

at Sophie, she's like, yeah, every day. Yeah.

37:30

Every day. Are you serious? Do

37:33

your worst time that you are

37:35

as a person turns like this. Why?

37:37

Something comes out of you. It's like,

37:39

what happened when we got married? Like that whole

37:41

period, you just like, there's a bull

37:44

that gets unleashed. And it's intolerable

37:46

to be honest. Well, am I just, am I, is

37:48

it? You know, in primary school. They're like steaming through

37:50

your nose. You know what I mean? You know, in

37:53

primary school, when there's a kid, he's got his hand

37:55

up, but he doesn't get picked. And he really wants

37:57

to be like, oh, I like that. That, yeah, when

37:59

he really. want to sort of get your ideas out.

38:01

Oh, annoying! But you just sort of say yeah, yeah, yeah,

38:03

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

38:05

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not sure it's going to work

38:07

and then eventually you sort of, you lose the energy and

38:09

then we get to do the thing that we planned with

38:11

the full team. You let him go, and then by the

38:14

end of him talking about it, we're all like, we've

38:16

listened and then you've lassened in energy and you're like,

38:19

I'll keep it out of there. But to give you credit, you

38:21

do come up with some amazing ideas. It's like, you do get

38:23

some gold out of it. There you go, thanks for it. But

38:25

you just got to ride the wave. You've got to ride that

38:27

wave. What about Sophie? What does Sophie like? Oh, she's great. Yeah,

38:29

yeah, yeah. Get out of here, Jackie.

38:32

What is Sophie like? Easy, you know, she

38:34

rocks up, does the lines. She's

38:36

just up for it. It's just fun.

38:38

It's nice. Yes. No, I have no

38:41

idea. She has like eight coffees in

38:43

the morning. Sophie? I don't

38:46

have one. You have that and then

38:48

I hear in the corner, she's

38:51

opening a Red Bull at 7.30am. No, it's not that.

38:53

I don't normally do that. What was the

38:56

earliest you had a Red Bull? No, I did a shoot

38:58

in Cornwall and I never had

39:00

a Red Bull before and I tried a Red Bull

39:02

and it gave me wings. I'm sorry, it gave me

39:04

wings. And

39:07

I've been so excited to get here because it

39:09

was Mother, it keeps having rebels. I'm like, oh

39:11

my God, let's go on tour. So I can

39:13

crack open that delicious Red Bull. What time do you have the

39:15

Red Bull? I had it

39:17

at 10 yesterday. 10am

39:19

Red Bull. Yeah, I think that's brutal. You

39:21

didn't tell me that. Yeah, crack that puppy

39:23

right over. Do you like it?

39:26

Yeah, okay. So there's not 40 coffees.

39:28

You've got 25 diet codes. By the

39:30

way, we're really healthy other than this.

39:32

We are very healthy. There have been a few under the

39:34

breath rouse, which we've noticed in the studio. But you've seen

39:37

a lot of rouse with us. So definitely I'm great. Unless

39:40

I'm hungry. Oh,

39:42

Jack experienced that.

39:45

Big time. Ah, yeah, big time. I just sort

39:47

of have to stay out of it. So if

39:49

you don't have the bullets, Sophie gets hangry.

39:53

And it's to the extreme where I cannot.

39:55

It's big. It's big, isn't it? Yeah,

39:57

there was no avocados on the order.

40:00

Thank you very much. No, Jamie. Are you

40:02

freaking kidding me? I was about to fly

40:04

to Congo. Where the hell they make avocados

40:06

and bring one back? Because I didn't order

40:08

an avocado. No, because you didn't let me look

40:10

at the delivery and I said, have you ordered that?

40:12

So I said, you said, it's all just got loads.

40:14

I looked at it. It's everything I hate. Pastrami. Ooh,

40:17

all these things don't want to eat any of it

40:19

and I would never be so unthoughtful for you. Um,

40:23

Jackie, I do want to say

40:25

that you have been a real dream to be

40:27

with and you've been incredible. So

40:30

thank you so much for really guiding this

40:32

show and making sure that we keep ourselves

40:34

in place. And when Sophie and I do

40:36

have our little bickers, which we do, um, and

40:39

we don't really hide them, do we? Nope. Nope.

40:43

They're really, it's like a, it's like a motor around

40:45

you of people where we just sort of leave you

40:47

to it for a few meters. And we're arguing about

40:49

what Sophie tells me and says, you've got to let

40:52

me speak. And I said, Sophie, you can speak whenever

40:54

you want. You don't let me speak. And I always

40:56

say, I let you speak. Um,

40:58

I want to say a big thank you to everyone who's coming to our

41:00

shows. Um, by the time this episode

41:02

is released, we would have probably done maybe a

41:04

show or a couple of shows. Uh,

41:06

so to everyone who's come, we hope you really enjoyed it. I

41:09

am so looking forward to our two

41:12

London Hammersmith Apollos. I

41:15

went there the other day for a gig and I felt

41:17

sick because it was so big. How big

41:19

is it? 7,000 people a couple of times? Three and

41:22

a half thousand people a night. We're doing two

41:24

nights. It's big man.

41:26

It's huge. It's real. It's

41:28

big. Okay. Do

41:31

you remember last time when you ran on in our first hit and

41:33

you went, there are so many of you. I know. That

41:36

was only a thousand. It's more than triple. Are

41:38

you excited for it? Yeah. I'm

41:40

real excited. Um, Jackie, thank you so much. Um,

41:42

it's going to be a wild ride and I

41:45

think what we need to do to everyone, we

41:47

need to keep everyone updated on what's going on

41:49

the entire time. Um, okay, everybody. Um, I want

41:51

to say a big thank you for to listening

41:53

to our podcast once again. Um, if you can

41:55

send in all of your listeners messages, we would

41:57

absolutely love that as always send them to at

41:59

newlywanted. podcast on Instagram or

42:02

newlyweds at jampopproductions.co.uk all of

42:04

the details in the

42:06

show description. Thank you

42:08

so much for listening and as always

42:11

we're gonna see you next week for

42:13

another episode of Newlyweds. Hey Jackie you

42:15

can join us in on this one.

42:17

If you're getting engaged, good luck! If

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42:26

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42:28

just did? If you're divorced, we

42:31

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42:34

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