0:07

So Matt, this is my idea

0:09

for an episode and I'm gonna admit you've

0:12

been kind of against this. Yeah.

0:14

Not outright against this. Just confused. Why are

0:17

you confused? Yeah, not angry. Just

0:19

confused. I don't totally know what we're doing. I mean, you

0:21

just gotta lay it out for me. Let me lay it

0:23

out. Okay. Here on the

0:26

podcast, we research all kinds of stuff.

0:28

And sometimes when we delve into your

0:30

area, which is history, we

0:32

have actual first-hand accounts of what's

0:34

going on. And

0:36

that is through these time travelers that show

0:38

up from time to time on the podcast

0:41

called Barnacles and Testicles. So

0:44

my proposal, you know how back in the 90s

0:46

when there would be like a, I don't know,

0:48

a throwback show and they'd be like, all right,

0:50

well, you remember that time that, and then the

0:52

harp music would play and then

0:54

they would go back. There's a harp and it

0:56

gets all vignetted and wavy. Yeah, exactly. And then

0:58

they go back and then they look at what

1:00

actually happened back then. You know what I'm talking

1:02

about? Yeah, that's a good way to get

1:04

a super discounted episode and have it still

1:06

count. But here's the thing though. What?

1:09

I mean, this could be a super discounted episode if you think about

1:11

it that way. But Barnacles and

1:14

Testicles have showed up a lot and

1:16

a lot of people probably don't know who they are. And

1:19

I think it's important. And also I

1:21

have a proposal for you and I think

1:23

this is a great proposal. So

1:25

just straight up, you know how

1:27

you and I kind of want to

1:29

restructure the economics of how No Dumb

1:32

Questions work. Like we're using sponsorships, all

1:34

the things, and you and I

1:36

are wanting to focus more towards the Patreon model,

1:38

correct? Yes, ads are weird.

1:41

I mean, just in the world, ads are weird right

1:43

now. Things are changing. And what

1:45

isn't changing or what keeps changing for

1:48

the better is that people like certain

1:50

things and then I like the

1:52

people who like the stuff that I make and we

1:54

enjoy hanging out and we want to. So The

1:56

Patreon model seems to make a lot of sense.

1:58

It's timeless. He does

2:01

in into this is my proposal So

2:03

we've created the stickers for barnacles and

2:05

testicles. Get. A look good yeah my

2:07

proposal is. We kind of use this whole

2:09

episode. As. A way to promote.

2:12

Supporting. The whole podcast on Patriot

2:14

on in in exchange for promoting that

2:16

in people that signed up or whenever

2:18

they get stickers they get the barnacle

2:20

ease and test police stickers. Which.

2:22

Are amazing! Do you like them? Oh

2:25

absolutely, They're fantastic. I

2:27

didn't think about how the

2:29

Greek name's classic popular Greek

2:31

name's I might add, Barney

2:33

Cleese and testicle He would

2:35

look spelled out in English

2:37

at first. it just. And

2:40

then actually seeing that I guffawed,

2:43

I made an audible gasp. When.

2:45

I saw the stickers both that

2:47

how great the stickers look but

2:49

also seeing Barclays and Tested Gliese

2:51

spelled out. Did. Took my

2:54

mind to certain places and I i

2:56

worry that if people put the stickers

2:58

on things it's going to initiate conversations

3:00

with. That kind of the point is

3:02

that the point is you get the

3:04

put me in that the fact that

3:06

I mean first of all the active

3:08

making the stickers with that a or

3:10

whatever you use. So we sat down

3:12

and we spend time with a i.

3:15

Am. Real idea a it's a

3:17

sticker of to greet dudes.

3:20

And. that bit i'm weren't not

3:22

the right him as did not worth

3:24

that much as leave out right there.

3:27

And. Then proceeds of it and then we'd

3:29

say is that we people would a loved

3:32

that sticker know they wouldn't have but then

3:34

after that we ended up with these to

3:36

lead the what like sizzled like. Awesome!

3:39

Powerful men, That. He didn't

3:41

credible and I think it's awesome. And

3:43

the concept of having a sticker. That.

3:45

Says testicle Ease on it. And

3:48

then giving that out to people And then

3:50

people potentially misreading that. And. Then

3:52

been chastised for like why would you say

3:54

that. This. Is clearly the great

3:56

time traveler Test The Cleese. Who.

3:58

embarks on meds journeys with

4:00

his friend Barnacles as they uncovered

4:03

the mystery. For the purposes of

4:05

education and joy. Yeah, exactly. And

4:07

so my proposal is that we use

4:10

this episode as like a throwback

4:12

episode because there was somebody that left us

4:14

a comment and they said, hey, and

4:16

I'm just going to read directly from the comment. They

4:19

said, has anyone kept a tally of

4:21

all the episodes in which these two

4:23

have made an appearance? And

4:25

the answer is yes, someone has, and that

4:27

someone is me. Would you like me to

4:30

tell you the episodes? Really? Yes. Yes,

4:33

I would like you to tell me the episodes. Let

4:35

me see which ones I can remember. Well, here's a question. We did. Before

4:38

you say this, there's a question. So someone brings

4:40

up a – you know how like when you

4:42

watch the Star Wars episodes, it was like what

4:44

order should you watch them in? Or if you

4:47

read The Chronicles of Narnia, should

4:49

you read Magician's Nephew before Lion

4:52

Witch and the Wardrobe? You know

4:54

what I'm talking about? Okay, yeah.

4:56

The question is what order should

4:58

we go on this little adventure together?

5:01

We have a total of five episodes

5:04

in which our two fearless time

5:06

travelers show up. So the

5:08

first question before you start trying to figure all this out

5:11

is should we listen to these in

5:13

chronological order through their time

5:15

traveling, or should we

5:17

listen to these in chronological

5:19

order as we go through

5:22

the podcast? Because I don't know

5:24

if you know this, but we've been

5:26

doing this for a very, very long

5:28

time. Like way back at episode 21

5:30

is the first time when we met

5:33

Barnacles and Testicles, and we learned their

5:35

names live on the air as we

5:37

were recording it because that just happened

5:39

instantly. So what do you think? That

5:41

is true. There was absolutely no planning

5:44

that went into that once, however. That's

5:46

just the unfortunate thing. No,

5:49

I think we should go in the

5:52

order of the podcast, not chronologically in

5:54

order of what time they traveled to.

5:57

You Think so? Yeah, because there's probably –

6:00

Compounding stuff in there narratively I would think

6:02

okay you go out I me as a

6:04

whole point is the. The. Reset

6:06

at all. And bring everybody

6:08

up to speed on the barnacles and

6:10

testicles thing and then you do it

6:12

out of order of the podcast. There

6:15

could be inside jokes or something that compound. ah for the

6:17

last one that we miss, we have to go on the

6:19

order. The podcast is no. Yeah. The only

6:21

way they can be done okay or I accept

6:23

that. I think you don't try to guess I'm

6:26

all right now. I think we go through and

6:28

you try to guess them as we. You.

6:30

Know I've got the list right in front of me. Okay,

6:32

I definitely know what the first one is. Yeah, how

6:34

could you not? Okay, what? What was the first one?

6:37

This. The Dial Of Destiny Episode

6:39

Dial Of Destiny. What?

6:41

That's. What they called it in the Indiana

6:44

Jones movie but a Santa Kids are a mechanism.

6:46

The and the kids rather do that. New Indiana

6:48

Jones was on new anymore but the newest Indiana

6:50

Jones movie they go looking for the at the

6:53

kids are a mechanism to the really yeah that's

6:55

odd because we knew I didn't I didn't watch

6:57

it at all. but yeah well on his back

6:59

in nazi times or something or the sixties so

7:01

I didn't watch the movie at a know people

7:04

just told me that that's what the dial destinies.

7:06

I think that's probably true. Got it?

7:08

Okay so what does the and to kids are mechanism. It's

7:11

a primitive computer that it doesn't

7:13

make any sense that it would

7:15

exist in Ancient Greece, but it

7:17

was found in an ancient Greek

7:19

shipwreck. Or maybe was of

7:22

roman ship in Greece. I

7:24

don't remember the exact details, but

7:26

some sponge divers were looking for

7:29

presumably sponges. Hundred

7:31

years ago Some like that. one of

7:33

those sponge divers if I recall correctly,

7:35

saw one of the oh, I bet

7:37

this is how we got it. Yeah,

7:39

and of the barnacle, incrusted statues of

7:41

a person. Just look it up. Adamant

7:44

freaked him out. And he quit

7:46

worrying about sponges and he started worried about

7:48

who that person was down there with them.

7:50

Yeah, and then they went and excavated

7:52

the whole site. News crazy stuff in

7:54

there. But most notably, most notably, what.

7:57

They. found the a to get roman because they

7:59

did primitive Computer that we don't know what

8:01

it does. I have a thing that's pretty. I

8:04

don't know. It's pretty sad news I've

8:06

got a couple of comments here And I

8:08

want to I want to read these for you

8:10

and I just want to see what your thoughts

8:12

are on this Okay, so first comment says this

8:14

for those that are not aware Barnacles

8:17

and testicles is not

8:19

who they say they are It's

8:21

actually Matt and Destin The

8:24

acting is so caught on that I never

8:26

realized it was only until I had the

8:28

epiphany that they don't have audio recording capabilities

8:30

that far from the past Only

8:33

then did I come to the conclusion that

8:35

it must be them and they

8:38

were pretending the whole time I've

8:40

never felt so betrayed I Hope

8:43

this doesn't ruin anything for anyone. What would you

8:45

say to that? And

8:48

that's a pretty favorite kind of humor Dry

8:53

that we've been faking this the entire

8:56

time, you know What?

8:59

People believe can somebody say that doesn't

9:01

even sound like no, I

9:03

don't even have an accent No,

9:05

I have the Omaha, Nebraska Midwest

9:07

English accent. Yeah, which is non

9:09

accent according to people who studied

9:11

these things you have the

9:14

slightest hint of A

9:16

southern accent early, but it's only

9:18

detectable. No, you're like one of those

9:21

Mutants or X-men the superheroes whose

9:23

powers amplify other superheroes, but that's

9:25

all they really do And

9:28

your southern accent vanishes when we hang

9:30

out but becomes Very intense

9:32

when you're driving down the road and we're talking

9:34

you're like hang on a second I gotta I

9:36

gotta talk to this guy one moment. We'll get

9:38

back to planning this out. I'm so sorry Matthew

9:40

one moment, please roll down window Alright

9:47

on man, you'd be good you'd be good.

9:49

Alright now, okay. So the quarterly report

9:51

that we were looking at I

9:54

think we need to get that turned in no later

9:56

than We'll see

9:58

that for a data point because I would

10:00

say that our travelers, Barnacles

10:02

and Tescales, don't have our accents. And

10:04

so I think that is a point.

10:07

Right. Yeah, it's a counterpoint.

10:09

So anyway, the first time we saw Barnacles

10:11

and Tescales— How do you even have an accent? Episode

10:14

21, the Antikythera of Mechanism. I

10:16

think we should just kind of harp back

10:18

and then hear that. Are you down with

10:20

that? Absolutely. And remember— You pretend

10:22

to have accents when you don't have accents. Yeah, this

10:24

was a cassette that we found, and it's interesting because

10:26

they were discussing all kinds of things, like the type

10:28

of wood that the

10:30

ship was made out of, which is how we

10:32

knew if it was Roman or Greek. Anyway, let's

10:35

go listen. How would

10:37

we know that? Right. You and

10:39

me. We wouldn't know that. So here

10:41

we go. Let alone have accents. The first

10:43

time we met Barnacles and Tescales, Episode 21, here we go. Hey

10:48

Barnacles! Barnacles! Hail

10:51

Tescales! Hail Tescales! Hail Tescales! Hail

10:53

Tescales! Hail Tescales! Hail Tescales!

10:56

Hail Tescales! I'm over here. I

10:58

wouldn't know the first thing about your mechanism, and

11:01

I'm sorry I can't help you right now. I'm

11:03

too busy sculpting. Why are you

11:05

sculpting on a ship Barnacles? We

11:08

have things to do, places to

11:10

go. I'm just working with this

11:12

very complicated mechanism crafted from brass

11:14

plates. Because Tescales,

11:17

the seas are so calm that

11:20

it seemed like perfect conditions for

11:22

precise sculpting. Hart, what

11:24

is that on the horizon? Hart,

11:28

I dare not say. Let

11:30

me just consult my overly complicated

11:32

device that I have brought along

11:34

on this voyage. I felt

11:37

so confident in our plan

11:39

given the season and our knowledge of

11:41

trade winds in this particular year in

11:43

antiquity. That's right.

11:46

This is a common trade group. Oh

11:48

snap! It's bad. What do we

11:50

do? I am also concerned and

11:52

fear that we may perish. But

11:55

an additional concern is what will be the fate

11:57

of this bounty that we carry back. possibly

12:00

for the dictator Sola if this

12:02

is the year 75 Or

12:06

possibly for Julius Caesar if this

12:09

is somewhat later scholars disagree I'm

12:11

afraid hold me Barnacles the

12:13

main mast has just snapped off why we

12:16

have the strongest Elm I choose

12:18

instead to hold on to the sculpture.

12:20

It's priceless Oh Hark

12:25

the ship is breaking up technically. What

12:27

do we do? What do we do?

12:29

This is goodbye. Oh, I just figured

12:32

it out. I entered their longitude wrong

12:34

in my mechanism Goodbye

12:36

Barnacles curse

12:39

curse you and curse

12:41

your foolhardy dependence on science and

12:43

math and numbers only Humanities could

12:45

have saved us from this tragedy

12:48

I pray that one day

12:50

a team of restorationists

12:52

will reassemble The

12:54

perfect sculpture that I have put together here.

12:56

No one person could get this right I

12:58

hope it's at least a 50 year process and

13:01

that one day it makes the Greek

13:03

people proud All

13:07

right, so I mean Clearly it's

13:09

not us you heard that right right

13:11

we can just put that to rest for the rest

13:13

of the episode that Obviously this is real. It's a

13:16

funny comment and it made me laugh a lot. Okay,

13:18

but also it made me angry Yeah,

13:20

whoever that was said I know because of

13:22

how not true it is. Okay, so clearly

13:24

not true That was a thing that was

13:26

a thing that we discovered together Like we

13:29

had these because obviously like if they're time

13:31

travelers, they would take recording devices with them

13:33

or something I don't know. So anyway,

13:35

right they do have the technology. Yeah, and

13:37

okay, dude right now Just

13:40

try to do that. Just try your try to do

13:42

that accent right now Tell me

13:44

about what they found down

13:46

there with the sponge diving with that accent

13:48

that was in that ancient recording. Okay Yeah,

13:50

I got it. Oh, it's gonna be hard

13:52

for my southern. Hey y'all I found a

13:54

statue and or you're working on

13:56

a statue you doesn't work. See

13:58

don't work. No You didn't that's

14:00

not how that guy sounded people can go back

14:02

and listen to it again. Not at all. There's

14:05

an obvious difference Okay,

14:08

so so let's go to the next time we

14:10

met our fearless time travelers I will remind everybody

14:12

that the whole point of this episode is to

14:14

remind everybody they can get a sticker at patreon.com/no

14:18

dumb questions you can get the

14:20

barnacles and testicles sticker if you

14:22

support there We will literally send

14:24

you a sticker Like we

14:26

will mail out a literally happen. I have to

14:28

say how much do they have to support for

14:30

to get the sticker? What's the sticker level doesn't

14:32

matter? Everything's a sticker level. Oh my good if

14:34

you're supporting At no

14:36

dumb questions on patreon you're getting sticker

14:39

sparnacles and testicles Okay, do you happen

14:41

to remember we consider whether that economically

14:43

makes sense for us did we even

14:45

look into the potential ramifications of sending

14:47

it? To literally everyone no no we

14:49

didn't we haven't done that math. It's

14:51

reckless What's very reckless all

14:53

right, so but you said it's just one sticker

14:56

that shows the two of them right? It's the

14:58

one sticker. No. It's two stickers man two

15:00

stickers. Oh my goodness. Yeah Do you

15:02

happen to remember the second time we met our

15:04

time traveling? I'm

15:09

not sure I have a guess on the second time

15:11

we met them I can remember other times, but I

15:13

don't know I don't know what was the second time

15:15

I'll give you a hint they were in

15:18

a battle at the time. I'll

15:20

read this one. Oh, they were fighting

15:22

the Red Baron What yes, you're fighting

15:25

the Red Baron. Yeah, and One

15:28

comment that I read about this

15:30

this was some data That

15:32

someone submitted as yet

15:34

another reason to say that it possibly has

15:37

been faked I'm gonna let you

15:40

Dispel of this information someone says that

15:43

Barnacles refers to it as World War

15:45

one instead of the

15:47

Great War in the recording and I

15:50

mean you just wouldn't what rebuttal well I guess

15:52

first we should just listen to it and make

15:54

sure that actually happened and then we can dispel

15:56

it afterwards that sound Okay, do you yeah? I'm

15:58

ready to give it a listen Ok

16:00

cool, this is episode 64, The

16:03

Red Baron. Here we go. Hey,

16:14

Testicles? Yeah, yeah, Bonacles.

16:17

World War I is the worst.

16:20

Why would you ever say that? Well,

16:23

in addition to the trench warfare, the mustard

16:25

gas, and the disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I

16:28

understand. This is all disappointing and true, but

16:30

what's your point? There's the border. Mmm,

16:33

boredom. Sure. I mean,

16:35

here we are, the 24th Machine Gun

16:38

Company, part of the Australian 4th Division.

16:40

Station in the Somme Valley, somewhere in

16:42

France. We shipped out from Sydney on

16:44

the 20th October aboard the HMAT Port

16:47

Lincoln. What does HMAT stand for, anyway?

16:49

I've heard of HMS, but what is

16:51

HMAT? His major sees Australian

16:53

transport. Obviously. Obviously. And

16:56

now here we sit on April 21st, 1918. Supposedly

17:00

supporting the Canadian and British

17:02

aerial squadrons from the ground. Sure,

17:04

featuring the antiquated but nimble Sopwith pup.

17:07

And his larger and more durable younger

17:09

cousin, the iconic Sopwith camel. But

17:12

nothing ever happens, mate. We

17:14

just stare at the empty sky and dream of

17:16

home. When we helplessly wait

17:18

out of conflict, Carmen blokes like you and I

17:20

can never hope to understand. One

17:23

that's being waged over jingoistic

17:25

territorial squabbles, left over from

17:27

a bygone age of early

17:29

modern European expansionism, to posthumously

17:32

satisfy the egos of long-dead

17:34

wig and leotard-wearing noblemen. Do

17:36

they really wear leotards? Well, they're used to.

17:39

Crikey. I

17:41

could really go for a fistful of

17:43

grandma's vegemite right about now. Oh,

17:45

I hear that. Hey, testically,

17:48

it's always up, mate. What's that approaching from

17:50

the sky in the direction of Rick and

17:52

Justin Stagg Airstrip and the Eastern occupied France?

17:55

Blimey! A German fighter squadron in

17:58

the You'd

18:00

sell Voniclee. Isn't

18:02

it obvious? They're flying those

18:04

new hyper-maneuverable Di-1 Troy planes.

18:07

Oh, the dry-deckers. DR meaning dry

18:09

as in three in German. 3

18:13

wings meaning dry-decker. What's the name of that

18:15

Dutch chap that's responsible for these lovely She-L?

18:18

Anthony... I'm

18:20

sorry mate, my ears must have been ringing.

18:22

Anthony who? Anthony...

18:25

A man so proud of

18:27

his death-dealing aerial engineering masterpieces

18:30

that he named his company and his

18:32

planes after himself. That's the

18:34

f***er. A dry-decker or Di-1 for

18:36

short. Are you not hearing that?

18:39

Every time you say f***er, there's a high-pitched

18:41

squeal that makes it impossible for me to

18:43

hear what you're saying. Well now I just

18:46

heard it on yours. Really? F***er.

18:48

Oh, blimey, you're right testically. It hurts my

18:50

ears and it takes me out of the

18:52

moment. Also, those German planes aren't going to

18:54

be in range for long. Do you think

18:56

we should fire on them, Barnak Lee? Ideally,

18:59

yes. But first, that

19:01

sound. And also, why do

19:03

you suddenly sound British? I don't... Right,

19:09

maybe try spelling it. Spell f***er. Alright

19:12

then. F-O-K-K-E-R.

19:19

DR1 triplanes. See? No B. Do

19:22

it again, but this time say the word. F***er. Well,

19:28

ain't that fascinating. Hang

19:31

on, what's this? There's one German plane separated

19:34

from the others. You see him, mate? It

19:37

can't be. The distinctive deep red. The

19:40

unmistakable German cross. Their

19:42

flawless aerial maneuvering. Those perfect cheekbones. Have

19:44

movie star charisma radiating from the cockpit.

19:46

His mom was an actress, did you

19:49

not know that? I wasn't aware, but

19:51

I could certainly see how. Those

19:54

are fantastic jeans. It's

19:57

Manfred von Richtofen, the Red

19:59

Ba- Baron himself. Well

20:01

it looks like he's hot on the tail

20:03

of Canadian pilot lieutenant Wilfred May of number

20:06

209 squadron Royal Air Force. That's right Barnacolice,

20:08

he goes by the nickname of WAP. Oh

20:11

wait a minute, that kid's a novice. He's

20:14

got no chance against the Baron. Maybe

20:16

we should use one of these 10 barreled

20:18

water-cooled 303 caliber Vickers machine guns to help

20:21

him out. Well I suppose that's why they're

20:23

here. But wait, what's this? It

20:26

looks like May's flight commander, Captain

20:28

Arthur Roy Brown from Canada, has

20:30

fallen in behind Rick Dauphin. Which

20:33

makes sense because May and Brown were old

20:35

friends from school. Alright then, how

20:37

do we shoot that f***er down? Well I

20:39

know these are the early days of anti-aircraft targeting,

20:41

but if my hunch is right mate, all

20:44

we have to do is lead the aircraft just

20:46

a little bit in front of it, put up

20:48

a wall of bullets and let Rick Dauphin fly

20:50

into it. We don't do the work, he does.

20:52

You don't even have to pan with the plane. Maybe

20:55

in some far off distant future we might

20:57

come up with some kind of mechanized ranging

21:00

thing, but now I think this might work.

21:03

I'm quite sure that'll be completely unnecessary

21:05

my friend. This is the

21:07

war to end all wars. Absolutely. After

21:10

this we'll only use technology to help people.

21:14

Almost there. Lining it up. Almost

21:17

there. Come on in sir. Sir

21:21

I can't focus, there's too much

21:23

noise. What's going on here? Yeah,

21:25

it's Sergeant Cedric Hopkins firing from

21:27

the gun next to us. Hey,

21:29

just a minute. Hopkins!

21:32

Quit making all our racket, we're trying to aim

21:34

over here. Yeah, quit making all the racket, we're

21:36

trying to aim. By the

21:38

soon to be ghost of Australia's fourth Prime Minister

21:41

George Houston Reid, who was a member of the

21:43

free trade party and who served from 18 August

21:45

1904 to 5 July 1905, Hopkins has

21:50

done it. The Baron's going down, look

21:52

mate. Wait a minute,

21:54

I just heard someone trying to give

21:56

credit to Canadian pilot Captain Brown. That's

21:59

ridiculous. fell back and

22:01

there wasn't a plane within a mile

22:03

when Rick Topham got hit. And clearly

22:05

the bullet that struck him impacted his

22:07

body in an upward trajectory, which strongly

22:09

supports my theory that he was hit

22:11

by surface to air anti-aircraft fire. And

22:13

not a rival plane, which means it

22:15

would be really awful if the plane

22:18

was given credit posthumously in history and

22:20

nobody challenged it, especially us from the

22:22

ground. Well put and timely, my friend.

22:24

Wait, he's just made a hasty but

22:27

controlled landing in a field on a hill

22:29

near Bray Corby Road. And it looks like

22:31

Australian gunner George Ridgeway is the first one

22:33

on the scene. Hey Ridgeway! Is

22:36

he alive mate? Is he

22:38

alive? I want to shake

22:41

his head! He's still alive

22:43

boys! He survived the crash!

22:45

Let's go talk to him Mr.

22:47

Red Baron! Nevermind, he's dead now.

22:50

Good grief man, this has been

22:52

such an emotional rollercoaster. I'm simultaneously

22:54

overjoyed that our close personal friend,

22:56

Sergeant Cedric Popkins, just defeated our

22:58

most dreadful foe. And

23:01

also profoundly sobered to have been witness

23:03

to the final flight of that majestic

23:05

angel warrior prince. May he rest in

23:08

peace. May he rest in peace. Hey,

23:10

let's go rip some stuff off this plane and see if we can

23:12

sell it back home. Yeah, I'm in. That

23:20

was that recording from the Red

23:23

Baron episode, episode 64. Beautiful. Did

23:25

you hear the Great War comment

23:28

in there? Did you hear that? Yeah, I

23:30

wasn't troubled by it at all. When

23:32

you have time travelers who

23:34

clearly have won, seen so

23:37

much, they're going

23:39

to have a little better sense of the future

23:41

and where things are headed. I think

23:43

pretty clearly even from that position on the

23:45

battlefield, somebody with that kind of historical

23:48

awareness was able to look at things and were

23:50

like, what is the actual off-ramp here? The

23:53

Allies are going to want to charge all

23:55

kinds of reparations to Germany. That's

23:57

going to light a historical fuse this

23:59

year. it's definitely gonna go off again in 15 or 20

24:01

years. There's clearly

24:03

going to be a second round of this. Let's just

24:05

call it what it's gonna be now. All

24:08

I heard was historical realism. Yeah,

24:10

I mean, it's just very prescient,

24:12

knowledgeable individuals. And the fact that

24:14

they probably predicted, you know what,

24:16

after this, what will

24:18

be World War I ends, we're probably

24:20

gonna drag the same train car that we signed the

24:23

treaty in. We're gonna drag it back out and we're

24:25

gonna start things off or two, right? Wouldn't you think

24:27

so? Probably, yeah. That's how it came off to me.

24:29

That's how it read to me. It

24:32

didn't even cross my mind to be offended by

24:34

that. Yeah, okay. That's where I'm at. Some people.

24:36

That seems super nitpicky. It really does to me

24:38

as well. So yeah, I'm still in the camp

24:41

that this is all real. So again, patreon.com/notumquestions,

24:44

trying to redo the economics

24:47

of the podcast here. If you want

24:49

stickers, that's how you do that. Do you happen

24:51

to remember the next time we saw our

24:54

fearless travelers? No,

24:59

I don't think I have a guess. I think I would

25:01

need another hint. I'll give you a

25:03

hint. It

25:06

had something to do with

25:08

hiding treasure. What?

25:11

Yep, yep. Hiding treasure? Yeah,

25:13

yeah, yeah. It sounds really

25:15

good. Yeah, hiding

25:18

treasure. Like near a

25:20

tree, hiding treasure near a tree. It

25:23

was episode 88. How

25:25

do I not have this? I don't

25:28

know. I've listened to our entire

25:30

podcast, but I don't have it.

25:33

Okay, it has to do with some

25:35

documents, like some

25:37

documents that maybe articulate where

25:40

things may have

25:42

been hidden, among other things.

25:47

It's a dead sea. Yeah, the dead sea

25:49

scrolls. The dead sea scrolls. Right, yeah.

25:51

Wow, what am I doing? Oh,

25:54

yeah, and this recording, I

25:56

mean, the most embarrassing part about me forgetting is

25:58

what this. This recording that

26:00

we introduced has done to

26:03

the world of classical studies, Jewish

26:06

studies, biblical studies.

26:09

It revolutionized people's understanding of the

26:11

link between the Old Testament and

26:13

New Testament, the inter-testamental period, the

26:16

Essene communities that lived in the

26:18

wilderness during that time.

26:20

It's been an absolute game changer for

26:22

everything. I'm embarrassed that it slipped

26:25

my mind. I know. I mean,

26:27

this one recording that we found

26:29

has totally changed archaeology in the

26:31

area, perhaps even more than the

26:33

Dead Sea Scrolls themselves. Yes, in a

26:35

lot of ways it could. So

26:38

yeah, let's go back and listen to our

26:40

time-traveling heroes here. Let's see what they have

26:42

to say. Barnacles,

26:47

what are you doing? Hark,

26:50

fair testicles. I'm putting these

26:52

important Bible documents in this

26:54

cave. I assume you're doing

26:56

this because the Bar Kokpa's revolt has gone

26:58

awry and the Romans are running roughshod over

27:00

everything and they're about to come here next

27:03

and we're assuming that we're going to be

27:05

run out of this village here, Qumran. Is

27:08

that the deal? I mean, in all

27:10

of my time here at this Essene

27:12

compound, I have never in all my

27:15

life felt this just down. Things

27:17

just don't feel like it's going great. Are

27:19

you feeling the same thing? This is

27:21

an incredibly depressing time in our history. It

27:24

feels like the only thing we can do is cut

27:27

bait and hope to return later. I don't know, you were

27:29

sitting there telling me you were doing something. What are you

27:31

doing? What's with the jars? I'm wrapping

27:33

up. Dude, where did you get the jars, man?

27:35

Dude, that's all of our jelly jars. Where

27:37

did Carl made all of them? He made extras so

27:39

that we could still take jelly with us. Mary

27:42

has those and he's already left and I got

27:44

the extra ones from Carl and I'm just putting

27:46

these Bible scripts in there. Dude,

27:49

real quick, first of all, I'll get back to what

27:51

you put in the jars but look at

27:53

your robe there. What? Dude,

27:55

you know our supreme leader, the teacher of righteousness,

27:57

does not like nakedness to be shown.

28:00

Look right there. Look I'm not naked. Look what's

28:02

hanging out right there. You're looking in the

28:04

gap Look at it's because of how you're putting

28:06

your head you're gonna get no 30 days at

28:08

from a normal angle You're gonna get 30 days

28:10

in here putting Bible scores. I'm not taking 30

28:12

days. I'll give you 10 I'm

28:15

doing this for you. You know what the community

28:17

rulebook says, you know this I'm

28:20

your friend Barnaclies I'm telling you

28:22

cover up your nakedness. Okay.

28:24

Are we done with that? Are we done with it? And

28:27

I'm telling you that nobody would have seen my nakedness

28:29

if you weren't nosing around in this Bible

28:31

urn cave that I'm working in Look

28:35

that right that's what I'm talking about. How can

28:37

it yeah, roll it up. Okay, cool

28:40

All right. So here's the deal now that we've got

28:42

that addressed. What are you putting in the clay pots

28:44

our jelly jars? What are you putting in here? Putting

28:47

in all of the precious documents that we

28:49

want to preserve for posterity's sake and I

28:51

thought the best place to put these would

28:53

Be in cave 7 what's in

28:55

there? Well, you get the robot rule books

28:58

important I've got copies of our rules in

29:00

case people forget some of those Yeah, like

29:02

the nakedness one got it and I've got

29:04

these commentaries on the book of

29:06

Genesis Okay, people want to know what we

29:08

thought about that later Yeah And I've

29:11

got all of my favorite Horoscopes that didn't

29:13

warn me that my supposed friend was gonna

29:15

come in and make fun of my slightly

29:17

visible Butt-crack while I was putting these Bible

29:20

things and earns in a cave privately What

29:23

about the the treasure map? Do you throw that in there? You

29:25

mean the copper one? Yeah the copper one Did

29:28

you put it in there? Yeah, I got it right here

29:30

with me I want to hide it with all this other

29:32

stuff I'm gonna somebody finds the

29:34

copper one. That's like one password if

29:36

somebody gets that they get all our stuff We

29:39

got to be smarter with this one. Okay, so let

29:41

me look at it here. Hand it here. Let

29:43

me see it Just be just I this might

29:45

dude. Just let me I'm in charge of the

29:47

copper. Let me find I've got it Okay. Now

29:49

look here. Let's like oh, dude How

29:52

are we gonna identify where all the treasure is?

29:54

I forgot when they wrote this. Okay. Let me

29:56

see the trees Okay,

29:58

cool. Got the trees The river,

30:01

okay, got it. Dude,

30:03

this is everything. Yeah, if somebody

30:05

finds this, dude, why are we leaving

30:07

this? This is like, look,

30:10

two gold bars under the tree. Why

30:12

would we leave this here? Why don't we just take this with us?

30:15

The gold is super heavy and we have to get out

30:17

of here and also, if only some of

30:19

us come back later, you know what the truth is?

30:21

Testicles, none of this makes any sense at all. But

30:23

I just really wanted to do it. I read about

30:25

it in a weekly reader and it seemed like it'd

30:27

be a super fun thing to try to imitate, so

30:30

I made a little treasure hunt and I hid all

30:32

of the things from our treasury. Now it's

30:34

too late and there's no way to undo it,

30:36

so we just have to find somewhere to hide

30:38

the copper scroll. Well, the thing that I'm really

30:40

proud of you here is that you identified the

30:42

locations of all the treasures based

30:44

on trees and things that will most certainly

30:47

never go anywhere, especially over a long period

30:49

of time. I know, right? Yeah, that tree's

30:51

gonna always be there. So everybody's gonna know

30:53

where the gold is if they find the

30:56

copper scroll all about it. Or

30:59

the well, you can't take down a well,

31:01

you can't. It's genius. It's making

31:03

me nervous with you having the scroll. Can I

31:06

please have the scroll back? Yeah, here you go. Here, read

31:08

a couple more real quick. I only read the top few.

31:10

What does the last few say there? Yeah,

31:12

I'll read them to you, but only if you promise not

31:14

to tell anybody, because I want this stuff later. Go

31:17

ahead, read it. Okay, and

31:19

in the canal, which ends

31:21

in it, there are 10

31:24

talents. You know the canal, right? No,

31:26

I don't actually. Well,

31:28

hopefully somebody who's more imaginative than you

31:30

finds this someday. Here's one that I'm

31:32

gonna keep in the cave of the

31:35

old washer's house on the third platform.

31:37

65 gold bars. Like

31:39

legit. You know the washer's house? No,

31:42

I don't. I mean, surely the washer's

31:44

gonna live there for hundreds of years. Nobody will

31:46

ever know that place as anything

31:48

other than the washer's house. Right,

31:51

and it's on the third platform. Even

31:53

if they build additional platforms later, just

31:55

remember which the first one was, and

31:58

then count up from there to three, and that's where you're gonna. find all that

32:00

gold on the third platform. What else do they say? Does

32:02

that make sense? Yeah, what else do they say? Well, I

32:05

can tell you this. According to this

32:07

scroll here, somebody later is going to find

32:09

40 talents of silver in the whole of

32:11

the waterproofed refuge in going down towards the

32:13

left three cubits above the bottom. 40 talents

32:16

of silver, man. They spread this out,

32:18

man. They spread this out. Did they

32:21

tell you to write all this? Is that how

32:23

this went down? Yeah, everybody got to hide one

32:25

and write their own clue. I think

32:27

as it went along, people were maybe just trying

32:29

to make it trickier than the one before. I

32:31

mean, some people wrote down some little Greek symbols

32:33

here, but I don't know how those clues help

32:36

with anything. I'm just hoping that we can just

32:38

remember and get them all back later. There's 64

32:40

of these in total. Hold

32:43

on, wait, dude. I just,

32:45

uh, okay, talent of silver. That's about 33

32:47

kilog... Okay, we have to get out

32:49

of the skit because I just googled some stuff. That's

32:52

wild, isn't it? That's wild. I'm just

32:54

so glad that we have these. I

32:56

mean, it's a treasure. Yeah. I mean,

33:00

that's the real treasure, isn't it? Yeah, just

33:02

to revisit whatever the copper scroll points to,

33:04

it's these recordings. Yeah, I know. I

33:08

mean, it's asinine to me to think that

33:10

somebody would think these are faked. I'm a

33:12

little upset, but I mean, we

33:14

live in a disinformation age, right? And

33:16

so that's part of a

33:19

low integrity age where people just go

33:21

on the internet and say anything, you

33:24

know, try to score a little bit

33:26

of popularity or feel important. Yeah. Taking

33:28

shots, a really legitimate history that's encouraged

33:30

a lot of people like that. I

33:32

don't get it. I don't get it.

33:35

Sad, really. Matt, remind me while we're

33:37

playing all these, why are we doing this? The

33:39

thing is that we're trying to shift the economic

33:42

model of the podcast from

33:44

being super dependent on the

33:46

ever changing world of

33:49

YouTube and podcast marketing to

33:51

being more dependent on the

33:54

rock solid foundation of

33:57

listener support. So we've been, we've been

33:59

urging people. to consider supporting the program

34:01

at patreon.com/nodomquestions. And I think there was

34:03

an incentive, right? Yeah, the stickers. And

34:05

to be clear- That's the stickers. We've

34:07

decided this is the best way to

34:10

do this. Like, this makes sense to

34:12

people, right? Yeah, we had several meetings,

34:14

and ultimately this seemed like the best

34:16

idea. And by several meetings, I mean

34:18

we turned on these microphones a

34:20

few minutes ago. I think now would be a

34:22

good time to tell people the other thing that's

34:25

been happening, that's happening in the reverse

34:27

way. I think that is

34:29

medically private information. No, not that one.

34:31

Not that one. The fact

34:33

that we've gone back through the back catalog,

34:36

and the beautiful thing about having RSS feed

34:38

is that we can go back and download

34:40

our files, and we can change them. And

34:42

so the beautiful thing about that is where

34:44

there used to be an ad slot that

34:47

may not really apply anymore, we've

34:49

gone back and we've been given

34:52

some information from the future. And

34:54

we've decided to put those- We have time

34:56

travelers going in the other direction. They

34:58

don't have names though, do they? I

35:01

think they do. And I think I know them

35:03

actually by heart. I think it's Matt Whitman and

35:05

Destin Sandlin. From the future, that's right. From the

35:07

future, though. Yeah. So how does this work, just

35:09

so people that may or may not be going

35:11

back through the back catalog and trying to figure

35:14

this out? And it may or may not be-

35:16

Yeah, I mean if people are- A scavenger

35:18

hunt that we may have put inside the

35:21

old episodes. How

35:23

would they find these? Yeah, I guess what

35:25

you would do is you just go back to then

35:27

you'd listen to old episodes, and in a lot of

35:29

those places where you get the little music thing that

35:31

means it's ad time. After

35:34

that, it's not going to be what you thought. It's not

35:37

going to be what it used to be. It's going to

35:39

be a message from the future about

35:41

how earth and civilization and

35:43

society has played out, and

35:46

about what would be the only

35:48

ways that anybody could possibly send

35:50

help into the future to

35:53

solve all of the crises that society

35:55

will one day face and to

35:57

avoid the bleak possible outcomes. There's

36:00

just there's gonna be if I

36:02

recall correctly from the the time travel

36:04

recordings It's gonna be one

36:06

primary suggestion for how to solve the

36:08

potential bleak outcome of the future and

36:10

make it bright once again I I

36:12

remember for I think so and what's

36:15

so odd is that there are so

36:17

many different alternate? timelines so many that

36:19

future Matt and Dustin experience it's almost

36:21

like there's a couple of

36:23

points where something changes in the present and

36:26

it and it creates this flicker

36:28

butterfly effect where Like

36:30

different things happen and so you get to

36:32

hear it's I was kind of shocked

36:34

when we were given this From future

36:36

Matt and Destin via that really

36:38

strange Communication method that we decided

36:41

not to talk about anymore. I

36:43

think it's interesting Yeah, I've been told

36:45

that that's really bad. Yeah communicate with

36:47

your past to selves Yeah And maybe

36:49

that's why our future selves

36:52

just went and edited the back catalog

36:54

was to get the messages to us

36:56

and everyone Yeah without causing an implosion

36:58

of the space-time continuum, but I mean

37:00

it works. I've heard them myself Yeah,

37:04

okay sad to hear about how things turned

37:06

out, but I'm hopeful that it could be

37:08

changed. Yeah, okay So there's that where are

37:11

we at here? So so we've done the

37:13

anti-kithro mechanism Yeah, we've listened to the recordings

37:15

from the Red Baron but Barnacles and testicles

37:18

We've checked out the Dead Sea Scrolls there

37:21

Can you think of the next thing where Barnacles

37:23

and testicles show up? I

37:25

can think of one more thing where they show up But

37:28

not two. Yeah No,

37:32

no, I don't know you got me Okay,

37:36

so this is what's happening we print We

37:43

forgot the next episode that this was on

37:45

and it was Julius Caesar And

37:47

so we went back and played it and we

37:49

got into a coffin fit Because

37:54

of how stupid it is. All right, so

37:57

so Matt episode 155 Julius Caesar Why

38:02

did you at least get assassinated? So

38:04

we're gonna play Barnacles and

38:06

Testicles read from the 12 tables, which what

38:08

were the 12 tables Matt? It

38:14

was the foundational law of

38:17

the ancient Roman Republic. There were

38:19

12 tables. They covered things. I'm

38:21

sweating. I can't do it. Alright, here we

38:23

go. The 12 tables. It's

38:26

laws. It's laws. Laws, Roman laws. Here we

38:28

go. Hark,

38:32

fair Testicles. Greetings, Barnacles.

38:35

What carriest thou in thy hands?

38:38

It is the 12 tables, the

38:40

foundational documents of our Republic. The

38:44

finest tables. If there were a 13th, I would just

38:46

throw it in the trash because there only needs to

38:48

be 12. Oh,

38:51

yes. Fair

38:54

Barnacles, would you like for me to read from

38:56

the tables for you? Is

38:58

Jupiter high God over all

39:00

creation? Of course. By

39:04

Romulus's nipple sucklage, I

39:06

will now read Table

39:08

5. Inheritance

39:11

and Guardianship. Women,

39:15

even though they are of full age,

39:17

because of their levity of

39:20

mind, shall be under guardianship,

39:22

except Vestal Virgins, who

39:25

shall be free from guardianship.

39:28

What does that even mean? As well it

39:30

should be for Vestal Virgins. A

39:32

fine law from a fine table

39:34

read by a fine friend. Godocles,

39:37

I would loveth if

39:39

thou would read from Table

39:41

6 for me. It

39:44

would be my great delight if only

39:46

I had Table 6 on my person.

39:49

However, since I am only carrying Table 8,

39:52

I shall have to read from it. Table

39:55

8, Law 4, if

39:57

one commits an outrage against the world,

40:00

against another the penalty shall

40:02

be 25 asses

40:06

it actually says that yes 20 the number

40:22

shall be 25 not 24 or 26 26

40:25

would be far too many asses it would

40:27

be that

40:31

would that would create an outrage and

40:33

what thinkest thou about a penalty of

40:35

24 asses not

40:38

enough not

40:40

enough clearly one ass

40:42

too few fair

40:45

testicles wouldest thou read to me

40:47

from table 10 I

40:49

would love to do that table

40:51

10 the sacred law a

40:56

dead person shall not be buried or

40:58

burned in the city there

41:01

are 10 laws within table 10

41:04

and furthermore I think we can

41:06

both agree that after such a

41:09

dead person is not buried or

41:11

burned in the city that that

41:13

dead person's bones shall not be

41:15

collected that one may make a

41:17

second funeral unless of course an

41:19

exception is for death and battle

41:21

on foreign soil dude if there was 13

41:29

tables I would throw it in the trash oh

41:32

you're funny dude you're genuinely

41:34

funny okay well there

41:36

you go so what we've

41:38

got is just to remind everybody what are

41:40

we doing why are we doing this first of all why

41:43

are you even listening to this do you

41:45

realize how deep down the rabbit hole you have

41:47

to be for this to

41:49

be funny I don't know it's pretty funny

41:51

I bet somebody else who's listening right now

41:53

is sweating just like I am I bet

41:56

somebody else do you think thinks

41:58

this kind of crap is actually fun and

42:00

they are crying a tiny bit too. I'm

42:03

crying as well. Okay, so this is hilarious.

42:05

I guess I would like to

42:07

say thank you for letting us do this because it

42:10

brings genuine joy to my life. I

42:13

really enjoy this. And yeah,

42:15

I'm grateful that you let us do this.

42:17

Same. The idea here, if

42:19

you're into this sort of thing and you

42:21

wanna support this, you can go to

42:23

patreon.com/no dumb questions. We're gonna

42:25

literally send you a sticker that

42:28

says testicle doing it. But you know to

42:30

pronounce it testicles. It says barnacles

42:32

on it, but you know to pronounce it barnacles

42:35

because you know what's up. So really

42:37

good stickers. You just said

42:39

if you're into this sort of thing,

42:41

like this is a sort of thing.

42:43

It's a thing. Yeah. It's

42:46

certainly a thing. It's singular in the- But I

42:48

don't know what category that goes into. Yeah, yeah.

42:50

Well, thank you. Do

42:53

you happen to remember the last episode where

42:56

barnacles and testicles have shown up

42:58

thus far in the skit or

43:01

in the podcast? Did the last

43:03

episode have boner in the name? It does, it

43:05

does. So what is it? I knew it. It's

43:08

the Merkel's Boner episode. Episode 159.

43:12

I mean, now I think if you named it,

43:14

you'd call it Merkel's mistake. But

43:16

back then, a lot of people called a

43:19

really boneheaded mistake in front of people a

43:21

boner. Yeah. And so I

43:23

think as a gesture of respect,

43:26

obviously, on our part toward the

43:28

people of the past, so as not

43:31

to engage in chronological snobbery, we

43:33

thought it best to use the terminology they

43:36

would use in titling our episode. Yeah,

43:39

yeah. And so I think there's a lot of things in this

43:41

episode where I mean, barnacles

43:43

and testicles, they're savvy, man. Like one

43:45

thing that I am most

43:48

impressed about these two when they go

43:50

somewhere is they can just blend in. Like

43:52

they just know what to do. You

43:54

know what's the thing, when in Rome, gather

43:57

no moss? Isn't that it? No.

44:00

Oh, not at all. Is it not? What is it? There

44:02

are several no, there are several words in there

44:05

that are part of sayings though Okay, got it

44:10

All right, so if if you would like to if

44:12

you would like to listen to this here we go

44:14

episode 159 Merkel's

44:16

boner Let's see what barnacles and testicles

44:19

are up to and to be clear

44:21

Merkel's boner was a baseball mistake, right?

44:24

Yeah, the terrible mistake involving baseball that

44:26

was very costly for a certain baseball

44:28

team If you want to understand the whole thing

44:30

you're just gonna have to listen to the whole episode But anyway, let's

44:32

uh, let's let's see what they did here I

44:39

say the avada cleats what a wonderful day

44:41

for a sporting event Who

44:43

doesn't love the polo grounds in September

44:46

for a fine game of baseball? Why

44:48

are we playing on polo grounds and

44:50

why do we have weird

44:53

cockney accents even though we live in

44:55

New York? well,

44:57

obviously we live in an era when diversion

45:00

and fun is a public

45:03

matter of behavior on a

45:05

weekday afternoon is just becoming

45:07

acceptable socially and So

45:10

there aren't many places to play

45:12

these sports, but gradually I anticipate

45:14

these cathedrals to entertainment We'll

45:17

pick up in popularity around the world for

45:19

now. We'll just have to Repurpose

45:22

the ones we have for multiple sports.

45:25

That's a great point Barnacles One thing that I

45:27

love is that here in 1908? The

45:30

world is full of peace and I

45:32

I personally I foresee that in the near

45:35

future Sporting events will be

45:37

the largest gatherings humans ever

45:39

assembled. I wouldn't you agree I anticipate

45:43

centuries of peace We've

45:46

finally achieved human enlightenment

45:49

and with all of the technological advances

45:51

we bask in today I

45:53

can only imagine that due to the

45:55

spirit of brotherhood that permeates this great

45:57

world that we shall only use those

46:00

inventions for the next hundred years to make

46:02

each other better. I say,

46:05

is that the rookie of the bat here? It's

46:07

here at the end of the game. I was

46:09

hoping we could go get a snow cone afterwards,

46:11

but what's this chap's name? I forget. Fred

46:14

Merkel demonstrates a lot

46:16

of promise. Nerves of steel, infinitely

46:19

focused, why here's the pitch now, and a

46:21

base hit from Merkel. Well good

46:23

for him, that puts runners on the corners.

46:25

This is getting interesting. This could be

46:27

the end of the game here. Looks like our fine

46:29

team is going to win. And

46:32

this would take us one step closer to

46:34

that ever so desirable pennant. I'm

46:39

sorry I gotta gather myself. I don't know

46:41

what to do. Oh look it's the

46:43

hot dog man. Hot dogs are

46:45

a new thing that I enjoy. Wieners here.

46:47

Would you like a wiener? We would take

46:50

we would take wieners here. I would like a

46:52

wieners here. Thank you chap. Yep, yep. Here you go.

46:54

Here's your nickel. Yeah alright. Alright

46:56

man cheers. Cheers to baseball

46:58

in September. Let

47:01

us knock wieners. Yeah, here let's tap them

47:03

together. There you go.

47:06

Alright. Alright these are great. Mustard. Mustard

47:10

is wonderful. Alright so let's

47:13

get this game over and let's get back home

47:15

so we can breathe cold

47:18

dust. Or whatever it is we do

47:20

at our house. My

47:30

fair testicles I must say these ballpark

47:32

wieners are especially delicious today. No doubt

47:34

made from 100% beef.

47:37

Okay whatever. Alright so we've got shortstop

47:39

Al Bridwell up to bat. I

47:41

say if he hits this next

47:43

pitch from Feister then we might

47:45

be done for the day. My

47:47

fair Barnaclies this might be it.

47:49

A fine hitter. I'm hopeful. Alright here's

47:52

the pitch in the windup in

47:54

the oh he drilled it. An

47:56

apparent single in the center field.

48:00

And an apparent victory for the home team. Let's

48:02

charge the field with others. McCormick

48:05

running home. There it is. A Giants

48:07

2-1 victory. That

48:10

is fantastic. I

48:12

am so excited about this. I

48:15

love being a part of the infield

48:17

mob. This is the gentleman. Huzzah to

48:19

all of us. Huzzah. Let's do what

48:21

is customary in our time and let's

48:23

walk across home plate, across the field

48:25

and exit out into field. Don't you

48:27

say? Absolutely. As

48:29

though we had scored ourselves. Let's

48:31

do this. Oh, what's happening? It

48:34

looks like Cubs second baseman

48:36

Johnny Evers is seeing

48:39

an opportunity for an odd rule to

48:41

be enforced. Another obscenity. This

48:43

game is over. He seems to

48:45

be shouting to center fielder Solly Hoffman.

48:49

What's he doing? He's throwing the

48:51

ball. Fortunately,

48:54

our first base coach Joe McGinody intercepted that

48:57

ball and did what he should do, which

48:59

is throw it to the stand. Hurl it

49:01

recklessly into the face. Yes, exactly. Oh, what?

49:04

He's retrieved. Evers has

49:06

apparently retrieved the ball and is

49:08

marching towards his touch second base.

49:10

You can't retrieve a ball once

49:12

it's been hurled into the stands

49:14

by a first base coach. This

49:16

is an outrage. It appears the

49:18

umpires, Emsley and O'Day, are

49:21

consulting each other. What

49:23

is to consult about? Here we are in the middle of

49:25

the field with our wieners. The

49:27

game is over, gentlemen. The

49:29

game is over. Is

49:31

it possible that Fred Merkel has made

49:33

a mistake? Hold, hold, hold.

49:36

I've got the baseball rule books updated

49:38

for 1908 here in my pocket. I'm

49:41

searching section 208.1. Oh, dear. It's

49:47

literally that section, isn't it? Oh,

49:50

dear. What has happened?

49:52

According to the rules, Fred Merkel's

49:54

failure to touch second base does

49:57

indeed result in an out even after play seems to

49:59

be a good one. to have concluded, as much

50:02

as I hate to admit it, the run

50:04

shall not be counted, and we shan't be

50:06

able to claim victory this day. No!

50:09

No! No! It's racist fish! It

50:12

didn't hit him with your cane!

50:14

It's ruled Merkle out at second!

50:17

They've undone the result! This is

50:19

an incredible boner that has been made!

50:22

The worst of boners! Merkle,

50:24

from now on, will only be

50:27

known in history for this boner.

50:29

Can you imagine? This will be

50:31

on the front page of the news tomorrow! That's

50:34

the hugest boner I can even imagine!

50:36

They will be talking about this boner

50:39

in future forms of media, yet imagined.

50:41

I cannot believe this has happened! This

50:44

is insane! Hit him, Bonaclease! Hit the

50:46

umpire! Yeah,

50:53

there were some awkward moments in that. I'm

50:55

not gonna lie. But I do have

50:57

a question. So getting back to this whole theory,

51:00

air quotes, theory, that

51:03

Barnacles and Testicles are not real people, and

51:05

they're not actually time travelers, and we don't

51:07

actually have their recordings, I got a comment

51:09

here from a listener, and they said, Hi

51:12

guys, I have some bad news. I

51:14

think that audio recording was a fake,

51:17

while very convincing, especially those accents. Sadly

51:20

Vegemite was developed in 1922. What

51:22

are your comments to that, Matt? Yeah,

51:25

according to your history books,

51:27

Boo-ya. The chock full of

51:30

lies. Boo-ya. Clearly.

51:33

Were you there when Vegemite was invented? That's

51:36

right. I'll tell you it was. We do. Seriously

51:38

still need to do. Barnacles and Testicles. We

51:41

do need to do an episode about the historical method

51:43

versus the scientific method. That would be amazing.

51:46

We've been talking about that. That kind

51:49

of comment is what's wrong with America,

51:51

right there. What do you mean? That's the kind of stuff.

51:54

What does people being like, Oh, looked at

51:57

the evidence and thought critically about the thing

51:59

and you're wrong. This. Is

52:04

okay. has the woods, This

52:08

the that was this. That.

52:10

Joke was so many levels deep

52:12

because I couldn't tell where you

52:14

are like you are a Somehow

52:16

that was like. Sarcasm

52:19

or the sarcasm or something. our even

52:21

know what does happen but it would

52:23

a couple more is ready to do

52:25

is a fantastic Did I really enjoyed

52:28

this and dumb I may I was

52:30

fun. it really was a month get

52:32

one. One other comment here. so obviously.

52:35

No. Joke or were doing here is we're trying

52:37

to pivot and we're trying to really lean in

52:39

the patriarch on the biggest response we've ever had

52:41

on paid For on like if you look at

52:43

the graph of people the sports page for on.

52:46

It's. When we did the fifty fifty. That

52:48

was fun! So. This is A

52:50

and of we saw fifty fifty that

52:52

com but he way that the whole

52:54

idea here is we're so we're trying

52:57

to be supported by people on Patriot

52:59

that's that's the goal pitcher and.com. Slash.

53:01

That I'm questions Will Cindy stickers and your

53:03

smart If we're going to you to consider

53:05

doing some to try to make a funny

53:08

try to make it fun whether it's one

53:10

of the ads we do or something like

53:12

this as a base for avenue sense of

53:14

humor about things like bad and let us

53:16

get away with doing it weird do in

53:18

a different yeah, absolutely we proceed that legit.

53:20

Really am one of the comment here. Man,

53:23

it's a logistics think we need to figure

53:25

out so we did not. Think. About

53:27

the economics of this clearly to get the

53:29

stickers made into mail them. Is.

53:31

Gonna cost more than like see.

53:34

How know that than that? It's It's just like.

53:37

Or. Just banking on the goodwill of people and the

53:39

idea of stickers. This is something I said on Smarter

53:42

Everyday you're doing it on T M B Aids. The

53:44

idea is we want to give you these stickers as

53:46

a way of saying thank you. For. Sticking

53:48

with us as a dad joke. they're so

53:50

when you get the sniffer you like minister

53:52

I'm sticking with those. Go. So.

53:55

I really, really pushing them. so

53:57

that's the idea. Here's

53:59

a logistics. issue though, Matt, and

54:01

we need to address this comment. It

54:03

says, this is a person that sent

54:06

this in. They said, will there be a way to

54:08

buy extra stickers? My son, who's 12, is

54:11

already scheming to steal the testicles sticker

54:13

when it comes, so he can

54:15

take it to school in church. Even

54:17

asked for a sweatshirt. I hope there's a way

54:19

to get extras. What are your

54:21

thoughts on that? Like, logistically, stickers

54:23

are an interesting thing. Like, you get a sticker and

54:25

you think long and hard about where am I gonna

54:27

put this thing? I

54:29

have a proposal. Do you have an idea first before I totally

54:33

throw mine out there? I had

54:35

anticipated spicy Latina grandmas being

54:37

our. Like Tina. Like

54:40

Tina? I assumed that would

54:42

be our primary demographic because of her

54:44

unwavering support. Who edits the podcast and

54:47

who will be paid by support via

54:49

the testicle sticker. Yeah, so

54:52

I mean, obviously, spicy Latina

54:54

grandmas are gonna absolutely love

54:57

these stickers, but just the

54:59

idea that putting the word testicles on

55:01

a sticker and then a picture

55:03

of a real stout, chiseled Greek-looking

55:05

dude, that that would somehow play

55:07

for a middle school boy. I didn't see that

55:10

coming. So first of all, I'm

55:12

really encouraged to imagine

55:14

that this might connect with

55:16

a broader audience than we

55:18

had originally anticipated. But

55:21

secondly, that is a real logistical issue that you're

55:23

bringing up there. And I

55:25

think what we do is we just,

55:28

there's a new little store option that

55:30

Patreon has invented. I think we just

55:32

take advantage of that and make

55:34

it so that if Patreon can get more than one of

55:36

these, they can buy one and we'll just send it to

55:39

them. I didn't realize that. So is the store or whatever

55:41

it is only available to patrons? Yes, that exists now. That

55:43

is my understanding. I think we can get that set up.

55:45

Okay, great. Well, I think we do it that way then.

55:47

So like patrons would have options to do that sort of

55:50

thing. We're just gonna straight up send you one of each,

55:52

Barnacles and testicles. If you

55:54

support on Patreon, you will

55:57

get that. So make sure your address is in the system. And

56:00

make sure you have it flipped on for

56:02

the Notum questions podcast so that we can make sure we

56:04

can send you some stuff. I'm excited.

56:07

Thank you so much for goofing

56:09

around with us. This is fun. This was fun.

56:11

And I would like to make one

56:13

final observation slash announcement. I

56:15

have come around on the idea of doing this episode.

56:18

I think it was a good idea. I'm

56:20

in. Oh, thanks. I

56:22

appreciate that. And I'm excited about the

56:24

messages that are now sprinkled throughout the

56:26

back catalog. I think that's fun.

56:29

And man, it's a whole other timeline.

56:31

Man, it's crazy. Yeah, we've

56:34

spent a lot of time looking back

56:36

with Barnacles and Testicles. I just

56:38

can't wait to learn more about what

56:40

the future looks like as

56:42

I go back and review what messages were

56:44

sent to us from future times that we

56:46

don't yet understand in that back catalog. Very

56:49

excited. I appreciate

56:51

you, buddy. Thank you genuinely

56:53

for throwing your ridiculous

56:55

lovable brain at this. It's

56:59

so dumb. Thank you. It's

57:01

one of the joys of my life. Same. All

57:05

right. See you, pal. Bye.