• What 3 stats would you want to know about your life? E..g, how many beers have i spent on alcohol

• Would you rather be able to read people’s thoughts, or control them?

Hot Pockets:

• Condoms Up 56 Percent, But Butts Down in NJ Annual Beach Sweep

• High School Coach Douses Field In Gasoline, Lights It On Fire, Promptly Gets Placed On Admin Leave

• Climate change could melt decades worth of human poop at Denali National Park in Alaska

• Denim ‘diapers’ are now a thing

Dank Rank - April Fools (biggest idiots, fools, april fools jokes, etc)