He thought he'd be better at this Christianity thing by now.

All his life, John Alan Turner has wanted to be different, to be better than who he is, to improve. Instead, he helped plant a church that folded within a year. He got divorced. He was diagnosed with depression. His car was rear-ended and totaled, which left him with life-altering injuries. It seemed like the harder he pushed to become the person he was supposed to be, the farther away it fled. And now, here he is after all these years, saying, ''I'm still me.''

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