For this year’s continuation of the 12 Fears of Christmas, join Becky & Merie as they discuss terrifying holiday shopping, sappy Hallmark movies, and some creeeeeeepy Christmastime disappearances. Along the way, they spread unconfirmed disinformation about Walmart and modern slavery. Also:

What’s all this about the violence in an invented county called Clarecork in Ireland? How long do those Forever 21 dresses last before they disintegrate? Long enough for you to snag yourself a prince from Malvadeniastan? Want to join Merie in all her watching of German torture porn? How ‘bout the scary violent guy who turns out to be prince AND saves the town square? Why not Christmas at Six Flags? Becky apologizes for the horrible French accents attempted by your pod-coasts. So…grab your pepper spray and let’s go shopping!