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ad-free. That's amazon.com/comedy ad-free to catch

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up on the latest episodes without

0:22

the ads. Welcome

0:27

to the off-menu podcast, taking

0:41

the chocolate cake of humor, crafting

0:43

it into the caterpillar of podcasts,

0:45

dipping it in some melted chocolate of

0:48

friendship. You got yourself a Colin the

0:50

Caterpillar podcast cake. Congratulations,

0:52

Colin. You've made it. You've made

0:54

it, Colin. That's it, Gamble. My name is James

0:56

Acaster. We own a dream restaurant and we invite

0:59

a guest in every single week and ask them

1:01

their favorite ever start, a main course, dessert, side

1:03

dish and drink. Not in that order. And this

1:05

week, our guest is... Johannes

1:08

Raddebay. One

1:10

of the, the, well, the dancers on Strictly. Listen,

1:14

I don't want to stop,

1:17

spoil our chances of getting more Strictly dancers on

1:19

this podcast. So I'm not going to say that

1:21

anyone is the dance on Strictly, but Johannes is

1:24

the best one. He

1:28

is fantastic. We met him very briefly when

1:31

we did the One Show. We

1:33

were on the sofa with Johannes and

1:35

Judy Murray, of course. Yes.

1:37

And just loved meeting him. You're a huge

1:39

fan of Strictly. Like it was your lockdown

1:42

was... Yeah. The last two series of Strictly,

1:44

I'll confess I'm late to the party, but

1:48

now I'm the life and soul. Yes, you are.

1:50

Absolutely. I absolutely love it. You're its biggest... I

1:52

love Johannes on there. You're its biggest supporter. Yeah.

1:55

I am the biggest supporter of Strictly. That's why I'll never

1:57

go on it. Cause then I wouldn't be able to watch

1:59

it. Yeah, that's true. And

2:02

I love watching it. I love Johannes on it. Well, you

2:04

could watch it live every week. Now it would

2:06

be the same. I think it'd be better, wouldn't it? Not if

2:08

you're dancing. No, you'd be nervous. At least I'd

2:10

be nervous. Yeah, yeah. He's fantastic. I can't wait

2:13

to speak to him. I really can't wait. No

2:16

idea what he likes to eat. No. So

2:18

all the food choices are going to be a surprise. Also

2:20

very excited because Johannes is going on tour soon

2:23

with House of Jojo. Yes. Which

2:26

we'll ask him more about that. Absolutely. His new

2:28

tour. You do have a secret ingredient, James. You're

2:30

going to be gutted if you have to kick

2:32

Johannes out. Yeah, but this is why I've deliberately

2:35

pushed for an ingredient I just

2:37

don't think Johannes is going to pick

2:39

at all. Yeah, it's a back ref to a previous

2:41

episode with Steve-O. Yeah. Sparkling

2:44

Thames water. Sparkling Thames water.

2:47

I'm pretty sure Johannes and Steve-O are

2:49

not going to be peezed apart. No,

2:51

I don't think they're in the same pod. Yeah, so

2:54

I'd be very surprised if Johannes is sparkling

2:56

Thames water. Sparkling water's fine. Yes. But

2:59

not sparkling Thames water. And I

3:02

feel pretty good that I'm going to

3:04

speak to Johannes for the whole of the menu

3:06

here. We'll have to kick him out. Absolutely. So

3:09

without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of

3:11

Johannes Rannabe. Welcome

3:20

Johannes to the dream restaurants. Oh,

3:23

thank you for having me.

3:27

I'm too excited, man. You're excited. Really?

3:30

Yeah. We make you briefly on the

3:32

one show. We got to share the cipher with you on the

3:34

one show. And Judy Murray, shout out. Judy Murray, to be fair.

3:36

Absolutely. I love that lady. And I did tell you

3:38

how much I love you and Strictly. I

3:44

mean, it still blows my mind that a lad like you

3:46

said that I'm a man. I mean, I'm a man. I'm

3:48

a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm

3:51

a man. I'm a man. I'm

3:53

a man. It still blows my mind that

3:55

a lad like you sits on

3:57

a Saturday night and watches Strictly come dancing.

4:00

I don't know. Is it because of a girlfriend? Tell

4:03

me In

4:07

the in the lockdowns She

4:09

was watching it without me. Uh-huh. I got drawn

4:11

into it and I got drawn into it because

4:13

of you and John I

4:15

was like I got invested in the story. Yeah,

4:18

like I want these guys to win so badly

4:20

Oh, I started watching it all the

4:22

time. I was like I've been I've been missing

4:24

out and now now I'm

4:26

a fan See that makes me feel so happy. Great.

4:28

And I met AJ from that series

4:30

AJ do do and she said But

4:33

that series was hardcore competitive like everyone

4:35

was really on it and focused and

4:37

wanting the win and Was

4:40

it with it more so than other series? Wow,

4:43

when is it never competitive? You

4:47

know, I know I think yeah, that's the thing that

4:50

was quite special isn't it and I think the

4:53

whole country was at home watching and

4:55

that's what made it even more special because I

4:57

was like There are two the

4:59

three couples admitted to the finals. It was just sad

5:01

that Asia did not you know What

5:04

happened to her happened, but you can imagine I

5:06

should never admit that How

5:08

I was kind of like yay One

5:13

down She's

5:17

right when she said it is it gets competitive

5:19

and you get to a point where you're like

5:22

I thought it was just an entertainment show Yeah,

5:24

you know, but yeah, it comes a time

5:26

when you just like I want to lift

5:28

the kettle ball Yeah, I'm sure the dances

5:30

are always competitive But surely there's times where

5:32

there's some celebrities who turn up who are just

5:34

bit like that. Let's just have a laugh That's what

5:36

happens in the first couple of weeks. Yeah, they go.

5:38

Yeah You see the

5:41

shift in their eyes and that's the most

5:43

beautiful thing as a professional That's where you

5:45

want them to walk you I always say

5:47

you hear you you hear to win What

5:50

are you here to do? You know and I'm saying

5:52

but I do think that once they get the taste

5:54

of it and they get that getting comfortable with the

5:56

show Then you then you see

5:58

that competitive spirit. Yeah They

6:00

can start at the beginning just saying I

6:02

just always watched it. I just want to

6:04

be here Oh, it's so fun

6:06

to just be here on Strictly and it's so nice

6:08

and you do see the change you do you do

6:12

I mean, I've been surprised by a couple of

6:14

people. I'm like, I did not expect that from

6:16

you, but okay here we are It's

6:19

nice. My favorite is when the celebrity is really

6:21

bad and they're clearly hating it but the public

6:23

keep the men Every

6:30

week and you're going

6:32

through Was

6:34

we put out his misery Come

6:37

back the following week So

6:47

difficult like I remember yeah, you

6:49

know, I did two days on

6:51

the Great British Bake Off and it was

6:53

Absolute hell just two days. Yes

6:56

Only imagine what the first week of strictly is

6:58

like so even the person going out in week

7:01

one I think you've already endured more than I

7:03

could possibly Imagine I couldn't

7:05

do it. You wouldn't you guys would never

7:07

well couldn't I think you'd look great in

7:09

the gear I

7:23

would spoil it for everyone else I

7:26

would get so Exhausted

7:28

so quickly and I would

7:30

not want to do it and I would start moaning

7:33

and complaining all the time Whatever my dance partner was

7:35

would be like I can't believe I've been saddled with

7:37

the dud The

7:39

one who's just winging every single day about

7:41

it. Oh, you won't believe what you have

7:43

a dream with You

7:47

wouldn't be a problem at all I just think

7:49

you both have such beautiful height that

7:51

it would be a shame Well that that

7:54

feels like it's a compliment But then also

7:56

you examine it and beautiful height feels like

7:59

it doesn't feel like a compliment Oh, Johannes

8:01

has beautiful height. Thank you.

8:03

Listen, listen. You

8:05

may as well say you're both alive. You

8:09

were with Annie Taylor last time. She had beautiful height. She did.

8:11

And she's gorgeous. Can we discuss that? I mean, I

8:14

look at this woman and I think she was like,

8:16

do you know how gorgeous you are? I don't think

8:18

she was, you know, she was aware of it. I

8:20

don't think she was. Don't think she was? No. I

8:23

think she used to be a model. I think she knows. Nah,

8:25

nah, nah. I

8:27

think she's just, she's your girl next door, isn't she?

8:30

She's a very nice person. Very.

8:32

No, no, no. How

8:35

are you proud of her? Neighbors aren't

8:37

listening to this. I

8:42

know. I know I couldn't do it because I

8:44

did a salsa class with my wife once and

8:46

10 minutes in I couldn't do it and I

8:48

got really angry and told her that the instructor

8:50

was getting it wrong and that's why I couldn't

8:52

do it. Oh, no. That is

8:54

dangerous. No,

8:58

but with this one, you would

9:00

be surprised. It's the format. I think

9:02

that works. Oh, look, the format's great.

9:04

Love to watch it. I

9:06

would spoil it. Who do you think, if Ed was

9:08

on it with that attitude, who

9:11

would be the best professional to

9:13

pair him with? She needed

9:15

Karen. Yeah? Yeah. You'd

9:18

definitely need a Karen. Would you keep me in line?

9:20

She definitely would. I was telling her with Jade last

9:22

time. Cara, Cara was with Jade

9:24

last time. Yeah, yeah. She

9:28

is quite strict. I

9:31

love her. She's a grafter. I think you would do so well

9:33

with her. She wouldn't have had to

9:35

work as hard as she would with Jade. Oh, yeah. I don't

9:37

know, Matt. If you're

9:39

saying the salsa teacher's getting it wrong. Imagine,

9:42

10 minutes of bed. You should give it

9:44

a week. Karen, you are getting this wrong.

9:49

Karen, this is a mess. Yeah,

9:51

yeah. No, think about it, gentlemen. Think

9:54

about it, please. Well, always. But what I'm

9:56

really excited about is catching your tour show,

9:58

House of Jojo. Yes. Definitely.

10:00

I mean, I feel like the

10:02

past two years doing freedom and freedom

10:04

unleashed has really afforded me the opportunity

10:06

to tell my story and and

10:10

And and thrive doing that

10:13

But yeah House of Jojo, it's about others,

10:15

you know that I can bring along with

10:18

on this journey I'm I'm

10:20

not blind to the fact that there's not

10:22

a lot of changes for dancers to

10:24

be a part of a production that represents them

10:26

and their stories and I think there's You

10:29

know, there's quite special people out there

10:31

like me that I know has to work

10:34

10 times harder to just be noticed or seen

10:37

and that is what I want to open House

10:39

of Jojo too I want to give others an

10:41

opportunity and when I talk about others, I talk

10:44

about international talent as well, you know Bringing

10:47

people from outside and just say even if

10:49

they do this once, you know, it's it's

10:51

selling a dream to somebody I just giving

10:53

them an opportunity. So that's why I was

10:55

like, okay You've

10:57

done it. What can you do different

10:59

this time around? Yeah, and I want to do

11:01

I want to change the narrative for Fasten the

11:03

industry. I really do because I feel like this

11:06

is the one place in the world where you can

11:08

get to do it and Be

11:10

a period for it you

11:12

don't find this theater culture anywhere else in the world and

11:16

Yeah, but you know the UK

11:18

is phenomenal for that. It

11:20

really is how have you? For

11:22

someone like this when you're finding of a dancer So

11:25

are you contacted dancers who you already know and you

11:27

already have in mind or you hold an audition? I

11:29

hold additions I think it's

11:31

lovely to be fair in that regard and people

11:34

that can make it to the audition simply means

11:36

that they want to Be there and they want

11:38

to be part of the job I just think

11:40

you know It's it was down to whether you

11:42

have the passion and the talent for it. Yeah,

11:44

what's what's been your hardest audition? You've

11:46

had to do yourself myself. I think

11:48

it was back in the day

11:51

Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Oh And

11:54

I came here to the UK tradition for it because I

11:56

was working on a cruise ship at the time and

11:58

I've been there for and I was I was looking for

12:00

a breakthrough, you know, when someone wants

12:03

to do something different after seven years

12:05

of being at sea. And

12:07

I came here with the hope of obviously

12:10

becoming part of this production, but

12:12

I completely missed the memo because I was

12:14

like, okay, I'm here now, you know, oh,

12:17

where do I go? And they were like, yeah, we need

12:19

three leads, but it

12:21

will be, we need three white boys. And

12:24

I was like, I don't wanna be part of an ensemble. Like

12:27

I was at the point in my career where I was just like,

12:29

I don't wanna be standing at the back. You

12:31

know, I've done it on the ships now, nobody gets

12:33

to ever see what you do. So I was just

12:35

like, okay, if I can't be lead,

12:38

bye. Yeah. Yeah, there's

12:40

gotta be a point where you say that.

12:42

No, I agree. You agree, yeah. And

12:45

I did think it was stupid of me to even,

12:47

you know, to even think that because I was, they

12:50

said we can offer you a job, but you will

12:52

be part of an ensemble. And I was just like,

12:54

no, you know, I'm not gonna do

12:56

that. I'll wait for my turn. And

12:58

then I told her, I know that that turn is gonna take a

13:01

couple of years, you know. But, hey.

13:03

Worth the wait. That's the wait. Yeah,

13:05

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well,

13:08

I mean, that's quite inspiring. Most

13:12

of us will just go, yeah, right, I just have a job. But

13:14

I like that. That's great. Do

13:16

you find your experience auditioning for things

13:18

informs how you audition other people? Do

13:21

you always have that in the back

13:23

of your mind of what it's like

13:25

to audition for things? Absolutely. And I

13:27

always say kindness goes a long way.

13:29

And also there's different times, because when

13:32

I was auditioning and that was the

13:34

thing, you know, there was

13:36

not a lot of care towards

13:39

how we feel and where

13:41

that leads you as a dancer. You know, when

13:44

you can't book jobs because of

13:46

whatever reason, you don't meet the criteria. I mean,

13:48

that, you know, they don't think about that. And

13:50

I think that is something that I've been very

13:52

conscious of going forward, you know, me doing it

13:55

now for others. I'm like, you know,

13:57

people at a point where now they do an audition and they work out

13:59

and then... not chosen they will say to

14:01

you can I please have feedback and I think it's

14:03

important that you do reply to them and you say

14:05

you know the reason why I think you didn't you

14:07

know there isn't why you didn't get the job is

14:09

because you need to improve on ABCDE and

14:11

this is how you should go about it because most of

14:14

the times people are working in auditions and people go bye

14:16

and you never know what you did wrong yeah you know

14:18

what I mean and sometimes I think it's important that people

14:20

know what it is that they can

14:22

work you know go back and work on and improve

14:24

try not to change do you

14:26

know there's so many things that one could

14:28

take away from a feedback and it's true

14:31

that's what I do I really do I

14:33

think it's important well I'd like if there's

14:35

anyone listening who ever goes to see me

14:37

at a gig I don't want

14:39

that No feedback from my gig I

14:45

think it's different

14:47

from an audience rather than someone who's in

14:49

charge of booking a show when

14:53

you do auditions for things do you get feedback? yeah

14:55

they say you were the best we

14:57

just don't can't YouTube right now and

15:03

that comes through your agent right? yeah they

15:06

say they absolutely loved you but they've got

15:08

a different direction oh yeah that's the

15:11

amount of directions people are going in when I do

15:13

auditions it's never towards me these

15:15

people are all over the map we decided

15:18

to go in the direction of a good actor I'm

15:21

on the wrong bit of the compass yeah

15:24

but here you are here

15:26

we are are

15:28

you a food fan? am I

15:30

a foodie? that's

15:33

a good start no you

15:36

know what it is I always just think to myself I'm

15:38

so busy today I could do without food

15:41

if there was a pearl to swallow and that sorts

15:44

you out I would be that person so we know what

15:46

your start is going to be no

15:48

you can't do the same thing from country please

15:52

that I'm an African child you know

15:55

and it's bad of me to say that because you know African

15:57

children don't all do this but I eat

15:59

anything And

16:01

I think it was because of my bringing, I left

16:03

home at a very young age, you know, to go

16:06

live with other people, obviously trying to pursue this dancing

16:08

thing. And wherever I found myself, I

16:10

had to eat what those people were eating,

16:12

you know, and that really taught me a

16:14

valuable lesson to say that, you know, it's

16:16

not a thing, but you know, it can't choose, you

16:18

know, when you've got a plate of food in front

16:20

of you, you better eat and finish it. That's just

16:22

a sign of respect. So

16:24

that has really prepared my

16:27

palate for the world. And

16:29

like I said, I've traveled around, so I have

16:31

tasted food around the world. I have been like,

16:33

you have to do that. That to me sounds

16:35

like a foodie, though. Someone who

16:37

will eat anything and will drive. But you

16:40

still would rather have the food pill. You still would

16:42

rather have the pill. You see what I mean, and

16:44

that's what I'm getting at. We

16:49

always start with still or sparks in water. Still,

16:53

any other day, because it's accessible. I

16:57

think when I'm sitting down and having dinner, I like

17:00

to treat myself. I always consider

17:02

it as a thing,

17:04

you know, to drink sparkling water. Well,

17:06

sparkling is strictly water, right? Strictly come water. Why

17:09

do you say that? Because it's sparkling. It's like

17:11

the apple. Yeah, the apple has got me sparkling,

17:13

right? Oh, you see that? Come on,

17:15

it's a glittable water. It's a glittable water. You reckon

17:17

I can't drink it? It's quite a pool with you.

17:19

No, listen, still, that's where they prefer. I've

17:23

put you off the sparkly now. I

17:25

was saying it's glittable water. What

17:29

do you guys prefer? Well, I

17:31

think I go for

17:33

still water. But I think

17:35

if you want to go sparkling, go sparkling. I

17:41

think it's been a pretty even split on the

17:43

podcast with guests. A lot

17:45

of them have, yeah, 50-50 still are

17:47

sparkling. I'm trying to think of

17:49

other dancers we've had on the podcast. Motsi. Yes.

17:53

I don't know what Motsi chose. I remember

17:55

Jordan Banjo choosing, well, he said he doesn't

17:57

drink water. He reminds him of spit. Yes.

18:00

Jordan Banjo for years was dancing dancing

18:02

dancing but just drinking squash like very

18:04

high Concentrate in Robinson squash all the

18:07

time and not drinking water when dancing

18:09

he said he didn't have water until he was

18:11

18 Yes, he didn't have water until he only

18:13

had squash. He never drunk normal water. Yes Apparently

18:16

so how and I tell you what he's still

18:18

got a beautiful height. Yeah. Yeah, it's got a

18:20

beautiful height Jordan Smaller

18:31

your bad height on the inside. Yeah on

18:33

the inside. Yeah No,

18:40

I can't no there's no way and he's

18:43

a performer and he's on stage like I

18:45

mean how do you do battle it? Cuz

18:47

he must be swinging water all the time when

18:49

you're training and rehearsing and all of

18:51

that Yeah, I mean then obviously when I finished

18:53

that with the prosecution pain You

18:56

know what I mean, but I when I am

18:58

when I'm active I consciously make that decision to

19:00

read that yeah You have

19:02

to yeah, it or else you'll fall. Yeah,

19:05

what would what's he choose bonito sparkling?

19:09

They go She

19:16

strikes me as somebody that would drink sparkling

19:18

water Especially if you're a

19:20

dancer you're drinking still water all the time

19:22

when you're training You can't drink sparkling water

19:24

while you're training of any money Well,

19:27

you'd be burping all the time wouldn't you? Yeah, what you

19:29

doing a backflip you do a burp do that You might

19:31

do an ultra backflip. Don't you just say true?

19:33

It's fine But I mean if you ain't if you

19:35

were in the competition a couple of weeks I can

19:37

burp it's fine If

19:40

you did a very saw that once on strictly

19:42

well, I was gonna say if you did a

19:44

during strictly if you did a very obvious

19:47

and Need I

19:49

say more stinky burp that

19:51

wafted towards the judges We with this on

19:53

the dance floor on the dance floor. You're

19:55

done. You're dancing. You're dancing with the celeb

19:57

You're hoping you're hoping the burp lands in the back site

20:00

because that's a 10 anyway. I think

20:02

it was close. They smell the burp. They know he's

20:04

on the burp. They've seen you do the burp. How

20:06

many points do you think they take off for the

20:08

burp? Each judge. No,

20:10

I mean, no question. How

20:12

far off would you have to be from the

20:14

other two for them to smell? You never go

20:17

right up to the judge's table and do a

20:19

shimmie or something. Sometimes you go right up to

20:21

the judge's table and that's true. I'm just saying,

20:23

think about it now. Let me see. Oh goodness.

20:26

So you're in their face shimmying and you burp. Ew.

20:29

Obviously Craig is the worst person

20:31

to burp on or Shirley. So

20:35

I think Motsie would laugh. Yeah, to

20:37

a standard. Motsie would take a swig

20:39

of sparkly burp right back at you.

20:42

I mean, it would be sweet if

20:44

you burped in Craig's face. I mean,

20:46

it's always for his face. I'm so

20:48

serious. I think it would make him laugh. You know what I

20:50

mean? Don't know how that will go down. No, I've never thought

20:52

about that. Never thought about that. I've never thought about that. We

20:54

bring the tough questions on our menu. Yeah, we ask them. I

20:57

bet I don't think these points should be deducted for something as

20:59

natural as burping. But if it's a really big one though, massive.

21:02

I'm just talking massive. As long as you are not out

21:04

of timing and you didn't mess up your choreography, I say

21:06

burp along.

21:11

Do you know what? As long as it doesn't affect

21:14

your choreography, I shouldn't be taking my time. I'm not

21:16

going to be taking my time. I'm

21:19

not going to be taking my

21:21

time. It's going to affect your choreography. I

21:24

shouldn't be taking off points. Yeah, you would argue

21:26

that on live television. Oh, definitely. What if it

21:28

was just an artistic choice? I

21:32

met Craig recently. Oh yeah. Well,

21:34

wait till you hear this. I was

21:36

doing Live at the Apollo. I was hosting an episode of

21:38

Live at the Apollo. Very nerve-wracking moment for a comedian. You

21:40

want it to all go well. We were the first one

21:42

they were filming that night. And then just

21:44

before they said, oh, we're filming something for 100 years

21:46

at the BBC and

21:49

Craig and some strictly people like invade the stage at

21:51

loads of different TV shows. So they're going out there

21:53

first to do their thing. And I was like, right.

21:55

Did the audience know this? They went, no, we're just

21:58

going to do it. And

22:01

they went out and did a dance. The audience sat there

22:03

baffled because they thought it was live at the Apollo. They

22:06

come off and like, right, okay, just get your head in the game. You've got

22:08

to get this right now. You probably have a bit of work to do at

22:10

the top because they're a bit confused. And

22:12

I just heard someone go, yeah, we'll just do it one more time.

22:15

Yeah. Three times they did that dance. That

22:17

was probably meant plenty, yes. Yeah. And

22:20

then I had to go out and sort of not mention it.

22:22

This is the Hammersmith Apollo. Congratulations

22:27

on that. Thank you very much. And

22:30

I had to work really hard at the top because everyone

22:32

was initially baffled and then just absolutely

22:40

wowed by the dancing. And then I come out and,

22:42

you know, t-shirt and jeans and then watch the same

22:44

dance free time. I'm

22:47

sorry about that. Oh

22:50

no, it was lovely to watch. Strictly

22:52

must be everywhere, isn't it? Yeah.

22:55

Yeah, I mean, infiltrating the comedy show. Yeah. It

22:58

was a sign. It was used as an omen. Yeah,

23:00

it's true. They might just stop oil. tear

23:03

it up. I mean, it's as

23:05

important a message as I might say. Yeah.

23:08

I'm an absorbed man. I'm an absorbed man, Joe. How

23:10

is Vada Bené? Oh, Vada Bené. Actually, he

23:12

called you Vada Bené. He called you Vada Bené.

23:14

Vada Bené? Sometimes. Sometimes I say Bené,

23:16

I'm stuff. And I was like, this is really funny. No, no, no, I did it.

23:18

And then I laughed at it while I was doing it. I

23:21

don't know where do they get it from. It's too much. Vada Bené is,

23:23

I'd say on the few TV shows, it brought up

23:25

to me a lot. And

23:37

Vada Bené, I just then go into Vada

23:39

Bené. There's

23:42

too much, man. Vada you're lying. Who calls

23:44

you Vada Bené? There's a

23:46

lady and she's made it her thing. And

23:49

I'm just like, okay, you know, whatever flow

23:51

it's about, girl. It

23:53

really brings a happiness. Yeah, it really felt

23:56

good to say it. You've said

23:58

it a lot since you said it the first time. Oh

24:00

stop! You asked me! Sorry,

24:02

pop it on so bad! Bread

24:05

all the way, carbs, carbs, carbs. Yeah? And

24:07

is there anything that fills you more than

24:09

bread though? Fills you more than bread? Yeah.

24:12

Not really. No, it's pretty much the most filling

24:14

thing on the planet, isn't it? It is!

24:16

It's the most gorgeous. I mean, I've lived

24:18

of, you know, cheap bread,

24:20

jam and peanut butter. But

24:23

now I live next to a baker. I

24:26

have to say, I'm grateful for life. Really

24:31

because to have focaccia

24:33

that is mixed with

24:35

olive oils, a little

24:38

bit of oil and salt in the morning

24:40

and it's hot, it's like

24:42

heaven to me. Yeah. You

24:44

went almost spiritual. Well, I was spiritual.

24:46

The little couldn't see it but... Yeah.

24:49

Johannes literally... He was looking up to

24:51

heaven. He literally gestured up to God

24:53

in heaven. In heaven, I'd

24:55

say you were grateful for life. You

24:58

looked up, did a little gesture. That

25:01

is my everyday routine without fail. I

25:03

literally walked into the baker and I

25:05

just stand there and they did about

25:07

my vanilla latte with my focaccia bread.

25:10

So focaccia for breakfast. Focaccia for breakfast.

25:12

Oh no, I'm terrible. And

25:16

you just eaten the focaccia, just chunks of the

25:18

focaccia. They... It's like that.

25:21

So massive. Massive. That's

25:23

your breakfast. That's

25:25

your breakfast for the change. Oh, that's joyous. So

25:28

you're having that whole thing at the start. Do

25:30

you want your latte with it as well? As

25:32

part of your bread course? That would be

25:34

fab. Yeah? Yeah,

25:37

nobody makes my latte like that beautiful

25:39

lady. Yeah. And

25:45

if it's not at work, I don't know whether that

25:47

latte is. Yeah. Nobody

25:50

like making a latte. I don't know why that tickled me

25:52

so much. The sentence, nobody makes

25:54

my latte like that beautiful lady. You don't know

25:56

why that tickled you. You know

25:58

exactly why that tickled you. Buddy, Buddy

26:01

said it so quietly as well. Yeah.

26:05

We won't get you to name the place because

26:08

then you'll blow up your spot. Yeah. And

26:10

you won't be able to go there. But that beautiful lady will know

26:12

that. That beautiful lady will know. She'll know.

26:14

Absolutely. She's a big fan as well.

26:17

So if she's not there, you don't

26:20

get the vanilla latte. I don't honestly. I

26:22

don't. So if you go in there and the

26:24

ugly man's there, you're not getting the... I just want to... No

26:28

one fucks up a vanilla latte like the

26:30

ugly man. My latte. Yeah, sorry. No one

26:32

ruins my latte like that ugly man. It's

26:35

the opposite. I think that's great. I

26:37

don't think we've ever had

26:40

a bread course with a coffee before. Yeah.

26:44

That's great. That's a good way to start the meal. I

26:47

just thought of a question that I've got about Strictly. I'll

26:49

be greenback there. Tell me. You know,

26:51

on episode one of each series, and they do the

26:53

bit where you meet your partners for the first time.

26:56

Yeah. Do they know who they're going

26:58

to get before you come for the... Is that a

27:01

real surprise? It is. Good.

27:03

Does someone know? It is.

27:05

Because I always watch it going, I'm not sure this is a real

27:07

surprise. Limited is something. It

27:10

frustrates me because you can imagine.

27:12

I want to know. And if I don't

27:14

know, I struggle in life, you

27:17

know, and I do everything in my power to

27:19

find out. But it's

27:22

the integrity thing with BBC, and I

27:24

absolutely adore that as well, you know,

27:27

because then you know things

27:29

are done fairly, you know. It's

27:31

a very hard show. So you would

27:33

like to think that the

27:35

ship runs, you know. But

27:40

it is. It really, really is. And

27:43

yeah, as much as we would try and work

27:45

it out as to who will end up with

27:47

who as they know,

27:49

you never guarantee that it's going to be like that.

27:52

So you know the... Yeah, you obviously know the

27:54

lineup. The lineup. So there's no chance of you walking

27:56

in there and going, who the fuck is that? It

28:03

has a point of that's an opportunity

28:05

to write on Google and share, you

28:07

know, to feel who's who and what's

28:09

who. And that, yeah, it

28:11

really does. That's lucky. I mean,

28:13

we're not from, you know, I always say it's

28:15

the most interesting thing because most of us are

28:17

not from this country, you know, and

28:20

you have to be very well versed with what is

28:22

happening to know some of

28:24

these people that come onto the show. You know,

28:26

I mean, can you imagine? Some

28:30

of you, it's your first, when it's your

28:32

first series, and this level is, sees

28:34

this dancer for the first, it's their

28:37

first series and this level is goes,

28:39

no way. You've been hanging

28:41

out on cruise ships for a long time,

28:43

didn't you? She watches it. Yeah.

28:46

Well, I dip in and out. You do, Ed. I

28:49

dip in and out. You've never said through a whole show, though, have

28:51

you? I have said through a whole show. Really?

28:54

Some of my mum's, she watches it religiously. So

28:56

I watch it with my mum. She absolutely loves it.

28:58

She'll be over the moon to hear that you're coming on the

29:00

podcast. Oh, that is sweet. I know mum

29:02

will be happy. I don't know about shoes. What do you want to

29:04

tell me? I'm delighted that you're telling the truth, Ed. I don't actually

29:06

know the truth. Ed is okay. How much you watch for it, Lee?

29:09

I dip in and out. He's dipping in and out. I

29:11

mean, that's, you know. For my

29:13

birthday present, my girlfriend got me

29:16

a cameo from, and I'm sorry, I don't know

29:18

his name, but. I love it! Now

29:20

I can't do everything. Great present. Virginia Hair Dance, who stands

29:22

in the background. Oh, I love it! I

29:24

love it! Now I can't do everything. Great present. Virginia

29:26

Hair Dance, who stands in the background. What?

29:30

Why am I laughing? The guy,

29:32

the guy, he stands in

29:34

the background. Neil Jones! Yeah,

29:36

great. Why do you

29:38

say he stands in the back? Well,

29:40

in the two series that I've watched, he's

29:42

not in a dance part though. Oh, yeah.

29:44

Oh, yeah. So the two series I've watched,

29:47

he's been standing behind Claudia or someone and

29:49

he'll be hyping up what's being said and

29:51

he'll be leading the gang. Oh,

29:53

Neil. And then he'll do the group dances.

29:55

And I always, I really like watching

29:57

him. Weird that you couldn't

29:59

get that. We worked with his ex-wife.

30:02

Sure, but that was after I got the cameo. Oh right, okay. Yeah,

30:04

that was after I got the cameo. We went up against Katya and

30:06

went on the right. Yeah, but

30:08

I mean, it's like the ex-wife was going to help you.

30:11

But yeah. But

30:14

yeah, you know, I got a cameo from him for my birthday, telling

30:16

me that I was going to go and see Big Face. Aww. And

30:19

to the back. Yeah,

30:21

because you know how much I loved him. Does she

30:24

love him? Yeah, but he's my

30:26

favourite. Did you know? I always point

30:28

him out. Really? Yeah, I'd always be like, look at

30:30

him. Look at what he's doing now. I loved

30:32

it. You love him so much that you didn't

30:34

know his name even after you got a cameo.

30:36

No, no, it was funny to not know his

30:38

name. It's funny to go and

30:41

look at him now if he's nodding. Or

30:43

if he's doing it, he can yes-and-everything

30:45

everyone was doing. Someone else was doing

30:47

some funny little gesture. He'd adopt it

30:50

as well and do it in the

30:52

background. He's our prankster. Yeah, loved

30:54

it. I called him the prankster. Loved it.

30:56

There's no laughter without Neil. Yeah,

30:58

honestly, he's fun. That's a

31:01

lovely way of putting it. Because I would

31:03

expect you to say there's always laughter with

31:05

Neil. And you said there's never

31:07

laughter without Neil. So no one's laughing until

31:10

Neil's there. Yeah, it's a

31:12

miserable show. And you're all just silently

31:14

waiting for Neil to turn up. Nobody

31:16

can imagine. You

31:19

might see the rehearsal period. There's never a

31:21

dull moment. And that's the fun

31:24

thing about him. And we always say we are

31:26

family before anything. And I think

31:28

that's the truth. Because if you see us

31:30

behind closed doors, we're a crazy bunch. That's

31:32

what we say about ourselves. That's free. We're

31:34

family. Let's

31:40

get into your dream menu proper. Your

31:42

dream starter. What is your ideal dream

31:44

starter? And don't say the pill. It

31:48

can't be a pill. It's not.

31:50

Listen, I was home for the past couple of

31:52

three weeks actually. And I

31:55

was just reminded of how good home

31:57

is actually. Have you ever had? Flour

32:00

and what you do with a flour is you

32:02

put a little bit of yeast salt vegetable oil

32:04

and you take that door and you dunk it

32:06

in deep in in oil

32:09

deep fry it Comes out as

32:11

like luktoni tea But

32:13

you eat that and if you wanna be

32:15

naively oh you've got the moon strew it You

32:18

can buy this nook fish and heated with

32:20

acha which is made of mango vinegar Salt

32:23

and sugar and you mix that mix

32:26

and you have that to get it's the most

32:28

delicious thing I can't explain it to you guys

32:30

and I was just like fried fried dough, but

32:32

yes But with like

32:34

a man going do you say snook fish? Yes, I

32:37

don't think I've ever heard of snook fish Check

32:45

it out. It's the weed melt in your mouth.

32:47

Is it like is it white fish? It's

32:49

white fish nice. Yeah, and and That's

32:53

when you if you posh I say that

32:55

if you posh because it's quite expensive. You

32:57

can imagine and it's quite a delicacy So

32:59

I always say acha or

33:02

an poloni. I don't think I've had that

33:04

you know that no was poloni Viennese, you

33:07

know Viennese Viennese Vienna Vienna,

33:10

how do you explain? Poloni,

33:14

I would explain Poloni, please. Well, I can't help

33:16

you out with explaining Poloni. I've got absolutely no

33:18

idea what you explain in it I

33:24

think of all types of things and it's

33:26

disgusting No,

33:30

should we start naming ingredients you can tell us

33:32

what's in it in the

33:34

poloni, yeah, it's everything okay Oh,

33:38

you know, no, no,

33:40

no nothing. It's savory come through

33:44

When I see Viennese, you know, what do you call it

33:46

sausages? Oh Okay,

33:49

so imagine at a factory Meat

33:52

factory you

33:55

take all that meat. Yeah, and

33:57

what you're doing with it is a

33:59

meatball Not a meatball, you put it

34:01

in the thing, exactly. It's like hummus, like you

34:03

know, you can take

34:05

and spread it on any piece of... It's like a sort of

34:07

spreadable... Spreadable sammit. Yeah, yeah,

34:09

yeah. Yeah, but it's made of all

34:12

meat and sometimes meat

34:14

that's gone off, you know

34:16

what I'm saying? But yeah, they

34:18

package it nicely and they... It's like using

34:20

up... Yeah, it's quite exactly what you've left

34:22

off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You

34:25

know, that's not wasting. Yeah. Tell

34:27

us some of the best foods were created, I think. Some of the

34:29

best dishes were using waste products, so

34:31

things that normally get thrown away and working out

34:33

a way of cooking them to make them delicious.

34:36

Oh, well, you say that without

34:38

baloney, there's nothing else, honestly. But we know

34:40

back home in South Africa, but I mean,

34:43

you talk about other foods, darling. Hang

34:45

on, were you saying baloney? Wow, baloney, can

34:47

you imagine baloney if you had to squeeze

34:50

it out of its packaging? Okay, yeah, yeah.

34:52

How would it come out? Baloney, yeah. Squeezy

34:54

baloney. Squeezy baloney, so to speak. Squeezy baloney.

34:56

We just said baloney. Yeah, baloney. Which is

34:58

like bologna meat, right? Which is like luncheon

35:00

meat sort of stuff. So,

35:03

baloney must... I think you've confused

35:05

me. Oh, no, with this baloney pork.

35:08

He's on about something. This

35:12

is how we would say it in Africa. Talking absolute baloney. Benito's

35:15

showing you an image there on the screen to

35:17

see if that is it. That's a dead cook.

35:19

A fat cook. The fried bread is called a fat

35:21

bread cook. Fat bread. Now we,

35:23

now you can use mince with it. Mm-hmm. You

35:25

know, stuff it with mince, that's what a lot

35:27

of people do. So you're using, you're

35:30

dipping the bread in all this stuff. Yeah, and then

35:32

you eat it. Mm, delicious. Cheap,

35:34

easy to make and you can feed an

35:37

army of people. Nice. That's a

35:39

great starter. Yeah. That is a

35:41

beautiful starter. A not appealing sight, so we're doing

35:43

well. Dream

35:51

main course. Like I said, I

35:53

think I'm spoiled and it's not a bad thing

35:55

sometimes. But I go home and like

35:57

I say, I would say African delicate. I

36:00

had tripe now the other week,

36:02

you know, and I forgot how beautiful tripe

36:04

is. And what happens is that home

36:06

is that we have veggies that

36:09

are homegrown. So it's not being accessible. So you

36:11

find that they do a lot of that and

36:13

then they do tripe. And then we have a

36:15

stamp, you know, to go with that. Sam?

36:19

I don't know. Here we go. Sam

36:23

Pindine. You know what? I also have to

36:25

explain Sam to you. Is some vegetable or

36:27

is it like a grain? No, it's like

36:29

a grain. Yeah. Yeah. Is it like sort

36:31

of a more solid sort of palantari type

36:33

thing? That is what you're talking about. And

36:36

that is also another one to use with

36:38

your with your with tripe, isn't

36:40

it? But I prefer my mom to

36:42

make the tripe clean it. What you

36:44

know, when she's done it, then I'll

36:46

eat it because the last thing that you want is

36:48

to be eating tripe and then sand.

36:50

Oh, it's not washed properly or anything

36:53

of that sort. After all, there's intestine.

36:55

See, this is the thing you're saying. You're not

36:57

a foodie, right? But if a British person was

36:59

in here saying they weren't a foodie and I

37:02

suggested tripe to them, they'd probably walk out. Really?

37:04

Yeah. Yeah. If we talk

37:06

to like Rylan or someone. Yeah. Who

37:09

we did earlier today, talk to Rylan. Yeah.

37:11

Quite the ahead. Yeah. He was absolutely appalled.

37:14

Yeah. Anything that we chose.

37:16

Yeah. Yeah. See,

37:19

I think if in this country, I think if a

37:21

British person says I'm going to eat some tripe, they

37:23

would be seen as an adventurous foodie. Yeah. For

37:25

sure. Stop it. Double stop it. Yeah.

37:27

Double stop it. Double stop it, actually.

37:29

I'll double carry on. I know. No.

37:34

So you guys, you know, do you guys? Oh, I

37:36

would try to try to try to eat a

37:38

heart beat. And I'd eat a heart and

37:40

a tripe. Ed is

37:42

more likely to eat tripe and a heartbeat heart and try

37:44

to beat than I am. He

37:47

loves he loves tripe and stuff like that. Yeah.

37:49

He'd probably go to that. I would go to

37:51

I would try it if I'm

37:53

just interested in the like. Oh, I haven't

37:55

had that before. I'm going to try that

37:57

thing. I accidentally started. order

38:02

brains in a cafe

38:04

in Holland. I've

38:06

done the Google Translate on the menu and

38:09

it said it was something else so I ordered them, it

38:11

sounded delicious and they bought these deep fried brains but

38:13

they were delicious. I just didn't know

38:15

that that's what I ordered. They were eating. Yeah when they

38:17

brought it over they said, here's your brains

38:19

and I was like what? And I was like well

38:21

you know they should be using the whole animal so

38:24

you know I'm not going to say that

38:26

but I'm going to try it. Delicious and

38:28

very fluffy. Really? Really? Yeah.

38:31

I love that. Brains are good man. Really? Yeah.

38:35

You see I've eaten everything but I've never tried

38:37

that. Stop it. You might be next on the

38:39

list. Where do you find it? Well where did

38:41

I had brains that Jim Carne wants? You did.

38:45

Jim Carne's a great Indian restaurant here. I guess

38:47

just like the kind of restaurants that we'll try

38:49

and use. There's some that you know the whole

38:51

kind of ethos is to use the whole animal.

38:53

So those kind of places would sell.

38:56

St John. St John

38:58

there. What kind of animal is it? Oh that's

39:01

a good point. I didn't know what kind of animal's brains

39:03

it was. Oh Jesus. How big was the

39:05

brain? Oh it was a sight of a

39:07

human being. I

39:11

think it was a cow. I've had a duck brain before

39:14

out of the duck skull. Come on.

39:16

That's disrespectful. It feels disrespectful.

39:21

They brought the whole head of the duck. Like

39:24

at the end of Hannibal? Yeah. And

39:26

was it like? Yeah it was a duck Hannibal.

39:28

It was quackable. It was quackable. You

39:32

know what it didn't taste that great and I didn't feel that good

39:34

about it. I'm a bill. It's just true.

39:36

He's not putting on a leg. No I'm

39:38

not. I've got, do you want to see a picture? No. No.

39:42

He showed me this picture. It's not nice. Are you

39:44

serious? Yeah I've not seen it. It's not nice. It's

39:46

not a blade. A head of a dog. Yes.

39:49

Where were you? In Noma. Regularly

39:51

voted the best restaurant in the world in

39:53

Copenhagen. Yeah. Fairly

39:55

good restaurant. Thank you. Yeah. By the sort

39:58

of people who eat duck brainer. think by

40:00

Elmer Fana. Hannah

40:03

Bill was very good. Hannah Bill, thank you. I'm

40:06

still trying to get my head around what your honest

40:08

is actual dishes. Cause I'm looking at

40:10

it here. Tried Sampen beans. Sampen beans. And

40:12

we haven't. Oh, I'll be showing what Samp

40:14

is here. This satisfying recipe

40:16

from what's for dinner. We'll have your family

40:18

reach you for second scoops. Sampen

40:23

beans need no introduction to

40:25

South Africans. Well, that

40:27

doesn't help me. Simply

40:30

corn kernels that have been dried and

40:32

pounded before being chopped into large pieces.

40:35

Yes, that sounds kind of about right.

40:37

And then some spices. Some spices in

40:39

there. Definitely. Yeah.

40:43

So far the menu is quite, it feels

40:45

quite South African. You sort of gravitating back

40:47

home with this meal. Is it a comforting

40:49

sort of food? It is. Yeah. It's comforting

40:52

food, honestly. And I have to say cheap,

40:54

you know, and it's nice. It's nice, isn't

40:57

it? It's always nice to eat cheap and

40:59

nicely, I think. Oh,

41:02

I completely agree with you. But then also

41:04

it's your dream restaurant. So if you

41:06

want to throw in some expensive stuff, you can. True

41:08

that. So then you worry. True

41:11

that. But I don't know about. Oh,

41:14

no, you don't have to have the duck brain. Not me.

41:16

I mean. You're still on that. Yeah.

41:20

You've got to stop thinking about that now. I can't get it

41:22

off of me. It's a weird thing.

41:24

Well, my wife didn't want hers. So

41:26

I had to eat. I ate too. Kind of sort

41:29

of because I'm like, weird way. I

41:31

would love to be in your brain. Oh, well,

41:33

I'll crack it open. I will try

41:36

anything. Anything.

41:39

And it was so you get to know me.

41:42

You get it's a massive tasting menu. You get

41:44

like, I don't know, 15, 16 dishes

41:46

or something. Right. Yeah. Maybe even more. Yeah. So

41:48

this thing's constantly coming and there's new things you

41:50

never heard of. We had bear on that day

41:52

as well. There was a bear dumpling. What? There

41:55

was a bear dumpling. I need to look like I'm

41:57

going to cry. Yeah. Bear dumpling, which is my job.

42:00

And then with a little picture of a bear

42:02

on the top there was the duck brain and

42:04

actually the best dishes were the veg dishes which

42:07

You know yeah, they were tasty Yeah,

42:09

yeah, you would think that yeah, and it did there

42:12

was normal veg as well They'd done really well. It

42:14

wasn't like a carrot. There'd be another rabbits ass or

42:16

anything. It was just like normal veg 53

42:19

you know Mabbits like carrots too

42:21

much to stick I'm

42:25

not saying they were doing it was one of the chefs I'd

42:27

imagine yeah Oh,

42:30

thank you for this afternoon

42:41

Oh, I don't know where Laughter, I didn't

42:43

have a laugh like that today You know

42:45

that's good Well,

42:48

this is funny as the ginger guy in the background Turns

42:50

out you don't need him to have laughter

42:53

There's no laughter without James and Ed I've

43:09

been to a World of Laughs

43:11

by downloading the Amazon music got

43:14

for free or go to amazon.com/comedy

43:16

ad free. That's amazon.com/comedy ad free

43:18

to catch up on the latest

43:20

episodes without the ads. You

43:25

know, I'm not sure what you're thinking about I'm not

43:27

sure what you're thinking about I'm not sure

43:29

what you're thinking about Or

43:31

maybe onto your dream side dish now, you

43:33

know calamari Mmm calamari

43:36

at your you can wake me up

43:39

any time of the day or night

43:41

and say let's go I

43:46

Don't know this there's something about calamari

43:49

It's the taste in it. I'm not even and

43:51

I'm not I'm not you know Seafood person or anything

43:53

of that sort, but it's calamari and

43:55

I don't want it battered. Mm-hmm. Oh really

43:57

just like the squid rings Yeah,

44:00

you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. When you

44:03

know, try and bite it and you can't get through

44:05

it and it's... Oh! So

44:07

who's... In your mind, who's waking up in the middle

44:09

of the night with a bowl of calamari? Who would

44:11

be the best person? Ideal

44:14

person to wake up in the middle of the night with a bowl of

44:16

calamari. Should be somebody you

44:18

love, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it should be, but according

44:20

to you, you just eat the calamari straight away. So

44:22

it actually doesn't matter who it is. So it could

44:24

be a robber. If

44:26

a robber broke into your house and wanted to

44:28

distract you while they stole everything, they just wake

44:30

you up and go, Janice, calamari, yeah.

44:35

No, no, no, you know what I mean. It

44:37

would be lovely to, you know, to eat something

44:39

from somebody that you actually like, for sure. You

44:41

know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess

44:43

you'd be less scared. I

44:47

don't know if it was a robber. So

44:51

there's not really much on... Is there a

44:53

place where you've had the best, just calamari

44:55

as it is? Not fried like where you've...

44:57

A restaurant maybe where it's like, this is

44:59

the best version of this dish. Cape

45:01

Town. Oh yeah. Yeah. And

45:04

I also found that place by a few...

45:06

You know, we were lost a friend of mine.

45:08

We were driving in the mountains and

45:11

we ended up in this small... It's

45:15

a village, whatever you're speaking. There was

45:17

this just beautiful place just hanging at

45:19

the top of the hill. Okay,

45:22

what's happening? I walked in there, very

45:24

unassuming, but obviously they get their

45:26

fish and everything right there. Never

45:30

tasted anything like that. So I've made

45:32

it a thing that every time I

45:34

go down to South Africa and

45:36

I am in Cape Town, I don't do

45:38

Cape Town without going past Guegoi. It's a

45:40

must. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. I mean,

45:42

if I'm there for two days, I

45:45

take the time. Wow, sounds amazing. Oh

45:48

my goodness. I think it's

45:50

also just how fresh it is and you know what I mean?

45:52

And they do everything in front of you. And

45:55

it is a familiar restaurant as well. It's just

45:57

beautiful. And I always think it's not even... Sometimes

46:00

I don't even know about the food, it's about the people, isn't

46:02

it? You know what I

46:04

mean? That cooks the food and that brings people together.

46:06

I don't know. So it's

46:08

quite simply prepared, so it's not battered or

46:10

anything? No, no. It's grilled

46:12

or? It's grilled. Grilled, yeah. It's

46:14

grilled, it's fried sometimes, you know,

46:16

like just open fire. Love to

46:18

take a guess to go crazy. You

46:21

may. I want to know. Why is

46:23

it that we trust? Because I'm the same. Why

46:25

do we trust family-run restaurants so much? I always like,

46:28

when I see it's family-run, I'm like, oh great. But

46:30

like if my family were in a restaurant, it'd be

46:32

awful. Yeah. No disrespect to my mum

46:34

who was in the next room listening. She's

46:37

the lady can't cook. She's a

46:39

wonderful lady, but she's not a chef. She's

46:44

a brilliant cook. Yeah,

46:46

he just winds her up. How

46:51

do you like? I've got one of her recipes

46:53

before. She's never exact about the ingredients that you

46:55

need and it doesn't work out. She was very

46:57

exact about any and Ed didn't listen. He

47:00

decided to get to just get

47:02

whatever he wanted and put it in. And

47:04

it didn't work out and he blamed my work

47:06

out. I'm not specific enough. Oh no. I

47:09

don't know if he's not dead. She

47:12

said condensed milk and he got evaporated milk

47:15

instead. So, yeah, there you go.

47:18

Same thing. I

47:23

can't take it anywhere. I can't take him seriously.

47:25

I can't take him seriously. I can't take him

47:27

seriously with his baby like this. He's dead. So,

47:33

your mum and I can get her. No,

47:36

well, I don't know. She didn't, I mean, that

47:38

was during a cook along we did, I presume

47:40

during lockdown. She didn't do another

47:42

cook along with him after that. Let me tell you.

47:44

So maybe you were fine. No, I didn't do another

47:46

cook along with her. She was, she was

47:49

inviting me all the time. I didn't tell you this. She invited

47:51

you all the time. Text me every day going, what? You should

47:53

come do another cook along. I didn't know that happened. Blocked her

47:55

number. I didn't know that. Blocked her number. I didn't

47:57

know that had to block my mum's number because she was asking to

47:59

do cook along. very quickly. Sorry,

48:02

had a problem in this for the first time. I can't

48:05

hear an objecting

48:07

from the next week, I guess it happened. Don't

48:10

stop, Mark, can you hear this?

48:13

No, I messed up. Yeah, I

48:15

messed up. Still ate it though. He's still ate

48:17

his awful ice cream that he made. What

48:21

famous family do you think would run the best

48:23

restaurant? Oh, good question. And who would run the

48:25

worst? I'm thinking of like, you know, the

48:28

Osborne's. No, no,

48:30

no, no way. You know who

48:32

I would love to see in the kitchen? Yeah. Just

48:35

for giggles. It's the

48:37

Kardashians. They even work. Well, in

48:40

that regard, you know. I'd love to see the

48:42

Kardashians in the kitchen. Can you imagine Kim Kardashian?

48:44

And they must also make tribe. Yeah, yeah, they

48:46

have to make your own. Yeah, they have to

48:48

make tribe. Yeah, they have to make your own.

48:50

Do you want that for your dream menu? The

48:52

Kardashians are making it? You

48:54

said which family? No, I

48:56

would want to get in the

48:58

kitchen. No, no, no, no,

49:01

but it would be interesting to see

49:04

some people like, you know, yeah, yeah,

49:06

yeah. It couldn't be one of those galley kitchens. Their

49:08

butts aren't fitting in there. I'm

49:11

sorry. I'm sorry that you had to hear that. Their

49:13

butts aren't fitting in a galley kitchen. Come on. He's

49:16

having a ride down his. Why? Famously big butt. It

49:18

was on the cover of a magazine. Do you know

49:20

how big it was? You're making that

49:22

up. It is making you.

49:25

You remember the magazine cover with

49:27

a champagne with a champagne and the glasses on

49:29

her side because it was so big. So

49:32

imagine that in a galley kitchen. It's a champagne

49:34

glass to be on a butt in the galley kitchen. Well, not

49:37

for long. Probably

49:39

keep opening the fridge by accident. It's

49:41

called BBL. Yes. BBL.

49:43

BBL. You know, yes. Brazilian

49:45

butt left. Wow. I

49:48

didn't know that. No, I didn't. I didn't know that.

49:50

And if you told me guess what BBL stands for.

49:52

Yeah. I wouldn't know I got to Brazilian butt lift.

49:54

Yeah. People go and have a

49:56

butt lift kicked in. You

50:00

think you BBL'd that chair, better

50:02

times your hands. Yeah,

50:08

no, listen, I'm an African boy, I've got

50:10

a boondam. You've got to

50:12

keep it in there. The

50:18

bonito's now covered out to cut all this stuff

50:20

about the galley kitchen. He knows that

50:22

I'm a self-advocable boy, I've got a bun that's

50:25

too funny. There you go. Sorry,

50:30

Ben. Your

50:38

dream drink. And when you arrived

50:40

here today, we had a lot of choices

50:42

of drink for you in the fridge. You

50:44

did, and thank you for the shampoo.

50:48

Thank you for the shampoo. Would that be

50:50

your dream drink, or would it be something else?

50:52

A Prosecco with a shot

50:54

of lychee, divine,

50:58

or a pasta martini.

51:01

Wow, okay. This is good, they're

51:03

sort of similar flavours, I

51:05

guess, because you get a shot of Prosecco

51:07

with a pasta martini. Yes,

51:10

I'll Prosecco with my drink. That

51:13

will be consistent, because it gives

51:15

me the quick amen. Yeah,

51:18

nothing else does than Prosecco.

51:22

Ponsai martini, I'm always unclear about what... It's

51:24

a shot of Prosecco, but what's the main

51:26

drink? Well, it's different things,

51:28

isn't it? But you do have

51:30

syrup, they've sometimes got

51:32

granadilla, they put a bunch

51:35

of alcohol in it to come and stop. Is

51:38

it passion fruit as well? There

51:40

is passion. And what

51:42

else is in that passion? Don't!

51:46

The one in Soho! He's the

51:48

man that introduced me to a pasta martini. He's in

51:50

the next place. Absolutely. With my mother.

51:52

With your mother. Hammers.

51:55

Hammers. Hammers. You're

51:58

drinking condensed milk. And

52:00

then just shut up and evaporate milk afterwards. What's the

52:02

name, do you remember the name of the place

52:04

in Soho that you have the Ponce da Martini?

52:07

And what's the name of that place? The

52:10

Oba. The Oba? The

52:12

Oba. In Soho? It's a very

52:15

old place but looked after very

52:17

well. The food is divine and

52:19

the Ponce da Martinis don't taste like anywhere

52:22

I've been and he introduced me to it.

52:25

And you've never heard of that? I guess, I

52:27

guess. I guess everywhere I'll go. I mean, if

52:29

it's, you know, let's be honest, you

52:31

have to go to a posh

52:34

establishment to get a Ponce da Martini or

52:36

else it's just not Ponce da Martini. You

52:38

know what I mean? No, I just, yeah.

52:41

The Da Martini or Ponce da Martini? Absolutely. You

52:43

know, you have to have bits in it. I

52:45

thought some married couple have made it at home.

52:48

Isn't that not cute? Yeah, that isn't cute. No,

52:50

but I mean, Ponce da Martini is a very,

52:52

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very no.

52:55

Yeah, that isn't cute. No, but

52:57

I mean, Ponce da Martini is lychee, you would

52:59

feel like you're drinking some exotic

53:02

drink if you know what I mean. What

53:04

is it like a lychee? Is it like puree? Is it?

53:07

The lychee? The cure? The cure.

53:10

Yeah. There's a pink bottle, I

53:13

get it from Amazon. You've already heard of

53:15

that. Ponce da Martini is a very

53:17

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

53:20

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

53:22

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

53:24

very, very, very very, very, very very perhaps to

53:27

just, you know, to lay down on

53:31

some juice. Like,

53:34

maybe it's easier to do, though, for a lychee, lychee and prosecco.

53:38

Prosecco, a bit of mint and you can use also

53:40

sparking water just to dilute it. Yeah.

53:45

You're gone. Janeah, have you

53:47

ever made a Ponce da Martini? No,

53:49

I haven't. A

53:52

few of those, you lose all

53:54

your inhibitions and yeah,

53:56

not my finest moments, but

53:59

I was out there. On that

54:01

freedom poll Hussein. Yeah

54:05

I would be interested to hear why

54:08

did why it's called upon Star Martini

54:10

yeah I've never known. I also have

54:12

never sat one. Doesn't. Never ordered

54:14

one. Because. I

54:16

feel uncomfortable. sign of would like the porn star

54:19

Mazzini my bags Obama guess I'm a little

54:21

bit of a prude. I'm always interested in there

54:23

because heard of guys would never have been a

54:25

spinner and then they tasted in the like

54:27

oh my gosh have been missing out and or

54:29

with icing the shape of a gas is

54:31

is that the reason why I know it now

54:34

has said that gone when we did. It isn't

54:36

because you know the glasses the the used

54:38

to point them a genius the you know the

54:40

Abbott's sign chief you know in L A on

54:42

a swanky long and really know if is

54:44

if it was called out of the else. When

54:47

I nothing else I would have the funds, the martini

54:49

but at home with my curtain shot and then I

54:51

get rid of the evidence before my wife. Treated

54:55

with it has no one. Size

54:58

I fucked your iphone some rt the admins I was

55:01

just having a beer as. If

55:04

I get out of my you were happy to pay.

55:09

My very brave to be ordering points damn a

55:12

T but a told show me the wikipedia page

55:14

a porn star martinis, tax and say search of

55:16

to get this up. At

55:19

says a passion fruit flavored cocktail.

55:21

My vanilla flavored vodka passion fruit

55:23

juice I saw. I'm

55:26

geez Tricycle people killed Shot

55:28

glass of Prosecco created in

55:30

two thousand and two by

55:32

Douglas Ankara. I. Read that

55:34

not that's not a hyperlink so can't see what

55:36

he does. This anchors. His. Own of

55:38

of lab London bar. And.

55:42

Tunnels in London and and him it

55:44

happens them it's uniquely written is from

55:46

that from the it was inspired and

55:49

inspired by a visit to Mavericks Be

55:51

Bought and a new to town South

55:53

Africa. Wilde, all. Thought.

55:56

is named after a strip club in south africa

55:58

has happened is you know yet stripped up and

56:00

closed, I ran for that figure. It's an amazing, man-tricks

56:02

review by the Gentlemen's Club. One of your, I

56:05

think your only dish so far that we didn't think was

56:07

to do with South Africa. It's like, I know, and there

56:09

you go. No wonder you love it. Every

56:12

time you taste the porn star martini, you're tasting a little

56:14

bit of home. Also,

56:17

in terms of the name, Anker claimed

56:19

he used the porn star name to evoke

56:21

a stylish and confident drink. It's

56:23

pure indulgent, sexy, fun and evocative. Anker

56:26

also denied being a fan of pornography. You

56:31

can't have it both ways, Anker. You can't say it's sexy

56:33

and confident and go, but I don't like that. I'm

56:37

not making it. I like porn. What

56:40

did you call the drink, Paul? You invented one drink and

56:42

you called it a porn star martini. But

56:45

I don't like it. Disgusting. Oh, please. You're

56:49

gonna like it. So it's Cape Town again. I don't even...

56:52

I thought it's going back to Cape Town. Matt. That's

56:54

quite exciting. That's cool. I'm being serious. I

56:56

never knew there'd be hair strip clubs in

56:58

South Africa. There

57:00

you go. There's a strip club in Kepman for a

57:02

very short amount of time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

57:05

Very short amount of time. What

57:07

did you do to go to show them? I don't

57:09

have a fuse to dance anymore. We

57:17

arrived at your dream dessert. Do you have a

57:19

sweet tooth? No, not

57:22

really. So would you not

57:24

normally have dessert then when it's... No, I think it's too much. Well,

57:27

of course. If this

57:29

is your dream restaurant, if you don't want dessert, you

57:32

can just skip dessert or have something else in

57:34

its place. But if there is like a dessert

57:36

that you really like, then obviously pick dessert time.

57:42

Okay, James. If you don't want dessert, you can pass.

57:44

Or if you want something else savory, we could give

57:46

you that. I've never

57:49

actually... Savory dessert. That would

57:51

be ridiculous. You could have like a cheeseboard

57:54

or just an extra savory course at the

57:56

end and stand if you don't really want

57:58

anything sweet. I

58:00

mean listen, a mother

58:02

pudding has never hurt anybody. You know

58:05

what I mean? It's common, you find

58:07

it everywhere, you can never get it wrong.

58:10

Which pudding? A mother pudding. What's

58:12

a mother pudding? Honestly,

58:15

you need to get some sort of medal because so many

58:17

of the food's here. You've stumped us. You've stumped us with.

58:19

Pretty much all of them. What's the mother pudding? I don't

58:21

know if the vocabulary to explain it is, but the bloody

58:24

shit is. I've got the laptop, so

58:26

it's fine. Here we go, Wikipedia to the

58:28

rest of you again. Malva pudding.

58:31

It's named after a strip club. Kegler. It

58:35

is of South African origin. It contains

58:37

apricot jam and a spongy caramelised texture.

58:39

A cream sauce is always poured over

58:41

it while it's hot. It's usually served

58:43

warm with custard or ice cream. Is

58:46

it like a cobbler, James? Tell me. It doesn't look like

58:48

a cobbler to me. It looks like a... Like

58:51

a treat. It has

58:53

a trickly sponge. For me, it

58:55

looks a bit like a treacle sponge. Yeah.

58:58

What is a treacle sponge? It's a cake. Apricot

59:01

jam. And has

59:03

a caramelised texture to it. Hot

59:06

sponge cake. Sounds delicious. It is

59:08

divine. And when I say... You

59:10

guys don't do mother pudding yet. I thought it was something... Would

59:14

have taken from you guys. No, apparently

59:16

not. South African origin. Yeah. It turns

59:18

out those are Bornstahl Martini, so... Yeah.

59:21

Stop. I have to say, I mean, we

59:23

have adopted a lot of things from you

59:25

guys. Really? Yeah. What

59:28

you find, you basically can find there as well.

59:30

What kind of stuff have you adopted from us? Everything.

59:32

I mean, in the last thing,

59:36

when you were talking to me, actually, you guys had a

59:38

conversation about Marmite. And

59:40

it's so true that you don't go anywhere

59:42

else in the world and find Marmite only.

59:44

Yeah. And when people actually eat it,

59:48

people eat Marmite, yeah. And I'm always like, why?

59:51

Yeah. Yeah, I like it. I

59:53

think it's horrible. Oh. I

59:56

think it's horrible. But I

59:58

guess it's that thing as well. Either you to

1:00:01

lie to to you don't? Yeah yeah yeah.

1:00:03

and that's the price. As. A

1:00:06

half hour ride Cbd? likely? not

1:00:08

yet. I say I love mom,

1:00:10

my mom but I've always had

1:00:12

Marmite. And. Since I was a little kid

1:00:15

so I think you need to eat, it'd be taught

1:00:17

to like it. And. Then also

1:00:19

now I says point of pride that I

1:00:21

love my my so when anybody outside the

1:00:23

case is why do you that's disgusting Like

1:00:26

time I got on i guess voice but

1:00:28

in out on his.brighton see I and thought

1:00:30

I would work actually stop it would on

1:00:32

ice mom I think as well. Like.

1:00:35

I used to spread it like. An inch.

1:00:37

An inch thick. You. Speak

1:00:39

your mind to but this point yes because

1:00:41

like tastes awful as a conical doing well.

1:00:45

On his garden No no Alabama

1:00:48

level The My My produce that

1:00:50

they make the Mama cheese is

1:00:52

My My Butter Mama peanut butter.

1:00:55

Much. It. Costs. A Thing

1:00:58

moments Auckland discuss Mama Chopped as good

1:01:00

way to act as. We

1:01:05

have I seen. A

1:01:09

couple of oh to be responsible for dad is

1:01:11

leaving the country. Where

1:01:14

do I live? Is

1:01:17

no such as miss decrease in

1:01:19

but. You. Who makes the

1:01:21

Mama Sagna? limit limits of it? Yeah.

1:01:23

And then there's also there's a chocolate

1:01:25

vehicle. But poor young who I had

1:01:28

my theme occasionally makes like these chocolate

1:01:30

with mama in them. but that's like

1:01:32

Camden. I might have a place in

1:01:34

county and put a Saturday Kitchen was

1:01:36

I'm is that okay? I didn't go

1:01:38

to South of the Background opposed the

1:01:40

every episode Need some. Have a

1:01:43

Chinese, a ginger guy. The background. Saw

1:01:46

your to be really bad that are not.

1:01:48

He makes fantastic stuff and he's done the

1:01:50

job was actually on. I love my might

1:01:52

was slightly to my death. A proper mom

1:01:54

might love is which are. Like. chocolates

1:01:56

with like a big glob of mama

1:01:58

in the middle say bite into

1:02:00

them instead of caramel it's Marmite. It's not

1:02:03

for beginners. No, I get it. Ooh, we're

1:02:05

a bit. A quiet taste. Paul?

1:02:11

Now that you said it's Paul, we did

1:02:14

it. I mean, I would love to just put my tongue

1:02:16

on it. Yeah, he makes

1:02:18

good stuff. He

1:02:21

does! He does! He does. I'm

1:02:24

going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. You

1:02:27

want sparkling water. Pop-ons of

1:02:29

eddy you want it for ketchup with olive

1:02:31

oil and salt and the vanilla latte made

1:02:34

by the beautiful lady. Snarter,

1:02:36

snack oke, let cook

1:02:39

with snook fish and poloni. You

1:02:41

want to try some beans, side

1:02:44

dish calamari, drink paseco with

1:02:46

a shot of lychee, liqueur

1:02:48

and dessert, malver pudding. That

1:02:50

sounds like a dream. That

1:02:53

does sound good. Also, love episodes where I'm introduced to loads

1:02:55

of new things to try. I'm looking

1:02:57

forward to trying some of that. I'm taking you

1:02:59

guys to Quay Quay, don't worry. Yeah, take us

1:03:01

to South Africa, yeah, next time you go. Ed

1:03:05

and I, I mean, you know, don't take out any,

1:03:07

where any duck ponds are in us. You

1:03:11

can take me anywhere. I want to

1:03:14

eat the tripe, I'll eat anything, I'll eat the malver pudding,

1:03:16

I'm up for all of it. Okay, that's

1:03:18

no dags for us, sorry. Thank

1:03:21

you so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Johannes. I

1:03:23

can't tell you guys everything, thank you so much for having

1:03:25

me. Thank you so much. Well,

1:03:32

there we are. What a delight that was, James.

1:03:34

Oh, thank you, Johannes, so much. What a journey,

1:03:36

what an education. We've learned about so many different

1:03:38

dishes we've never heard of before. And you

1:03:40

didn't say spark in Thames water, thank you very much. No,

1:03:42

thank you very much for not saying that. Once we were

1:03:45

through the water course, we were pretty much home free. Yeah,

1:03:47

I was relaxed. I knew that wasn't going to come up.

1:03:49

Yeah. I

1:03:51

mean, I think from now on, whenever something happens that

1:03:53

I'm not sure about or that I don't like, I'm

1:03:56

going to say, where do I live? Yeah, where do

1:03:58

I live? Where do I live? Why

1:04:00

do I live? Fantastic. Really loved

1:04:02

it. Loved it. Um, yes.

1:04:05

Yeah an absolute dream. Thanks for coming on

1:04:07

Thanks so much to Johannes for coming on

1:04:09

Of course, you can see Johannes's new tour

1:04:11

house of Jojo very very soon Go on

1:04:13

to Johannes hyphen live.com for more details about

1:04:15

the house of Jojo Which is coming to

1:04:18

a town near you I guess depending on

1:04:20

where you live or you might be in

1:04:22

the town Well, you might be in the

1:04:24

town. You might actually work at a theater.

1:04:26

Maybe it's a city. Yeah, maybe

1:04:28

it's the city Maybe I mean a lot

1:04:31

of different people this maybe you're Johannes listening to this in

1:04:33

which case you don't need to buy a ticket Yeah, you're

1:04:35

gonna be there every night every night. Don't even worry about

1:04:37

it. Yeah Thank you

1:04:39

very much for listening to the off

1:04:41

menu podcast. We will see you again

1:04:43

next week. Goodbye. Goodbye Tired

1:04:59

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