0:00

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off

0:02

Menu podcast that you're currently listening to. I

0:04

am on tour now. The show is called

0:06

Hot Diggity Dog. Make sure you go and

0:08

get yourself a ticket. I'm probably coming to

0:11

a town near you if you live in

0:13

the UK and Ireland. And Ireland, Dublin and

0:15

Belfast. Do go to edgample.co.uk,

0:17

buy yourself a ticket and I'll see you

0:19

for an evening of Hot Diggity Dog. Hot

0:22

Diggity Dog! Thank you, James. Never

0:28

catch yourself eating the same flavorless dinner three

0:30

days in a row, dreaming of something better.

0:33

Well, HelloFresh is your guilt-free dream come

0:36

true, baby. It's me, Giggy Palmer. Let's

0:38

wake up those taste buds with

0:41

hot, juicy pecan-crusted chicken or garlic

0:43

butter shrimp scampi. HelloFresh.

0:48

Stop dreaming of all the delicious

0:50

possibilities and dig in at hellofresh.com.

0:53

Let's get this dinner party started. Expressing

0:58

your love can look many different ways

1:00

and with the right jewelry gift from

1:03

Blue Nile, it can truly sparkle. Blue

1:05

Nile collection of classic diamond jewelry makes

1:07

for the kind of gif that speaks

1:10

volumes without saying a single word or

1:12

switch things up with a sapphire piece

1:14

sure to spark conversation. Either way, Blue

1:17

Nile the diamond guarantee ensures you get

1:19

the highest quality at the best price.

1:21

The yourself with Blue Nile the original

1:24

online jeweler at Blue. nile.com That's

1:26

Blue nile.com. Tired of

1:29

ads intruding into your favorite comedy

1:31

podcasts? Good news. Ad-free

1:33

listening is available on Amazon Music

1:35

for all the music plus top

1:37

podcasts included with your Prime membership.

1:39

Dive into a world of laughs

1:41

by downloading the Amazon Music app

1:43

for free or go to amazon.com/Comedy

1:45

Ad Free. That's amazon.com/Comedy Ad Free

1:47

to catch up on the latest

1:50

episodes without the ads. Oh

2:07

Dingell, a good Saturday mother.

2:12

Oh it's a bonus episode! A

2:14

Live off my need to show

2:16

our second and final nights in

2:18

London. it was that The Palladium

2:20

and ah special guest is the

2:22

wonderful Mike was Mack ones taskmaster

2:24

contestant. Said

2:28

that if I'm told of fun Brady might

2:31

was an area. And.

2:38

A half. Away on

2:41

else in hotels he has you. H

2:43

T Milks Yeah the illegal greedy little

2:45

pale but little love the make sense

2:47

because I think that would be a

2:49

brilliant secret ingredient for regular episode. We

2:51

would me to explain it really nice

2:53

on as Tall as Out and show.

2:55

only done that yet and we hadn't.

2:57

An eye on myself like ashamed. yeah. but what's

3:00

what's the matter with us that we haven't done

3:02

the that? that was your ways to move from

3:04

hotels with? oh that's so awful. So awful Fab

3:06

a tell you what's not awful Might was me,

3:09

I might was. the Us is fantastic. We love

3:11

Mike and it was a joy to be able

3:13

to talk to at the palladium position into an

3:15

episode with him to have. It's a bad habit

3:18

of such a lot the audience Yes so here

3:20

it is less is get on with it. It's

3:22

the of money. many live of my my what

3:24

via. The

3:37

ice cubes. Boring

3:40

and the cream of humor. As

3:44

intervening think friendship. Thing

3:48

in the blood, the internet

3:51

traffic Vanilla ice cream. That

4:00

is a gamble, my name is James A. Casser,

4:02

together we own a dream restaurant and every single

4:04

week we invite in a guest and we ask them

4:07

their favourite ever, start a main course, dessert, side dish

4:09

and drink, not in that order. And this week

4:11

our guest is Mike

4:13

Wozniak! Long

4:17

time coming James, long time

4:19

coming, we've been big fans of Mike from

4:21

day one, we're so glad that everyone's here

4:24

to see Mike Wozniak here, and his name

4:26

is Bigger's Key Choices. I'm

4:28

just a bit of a... Just

4:33

a very conscious after. How

4:36

tired out I got, my health,

4:38

so I'm just checking how much. The

4:40

old pinch test. Doing a little pinch

4:42

of the hips. But it's not about me

4:44

Ed. No. If

4:48

there's anyone I've ever met who less needs a pinch test,

4:52

treat yourself like you're an overbearing mother in the 70s.

4:56

Yeah that's true, absolutely pinch test man, you're

4:58

all good. Thank you man.

5:01

This is the opening menu of Mike Wozniak! I'm

5:21

going to do this

5:24

properly Mike.

5:29

I'm going to do it properly. I haven't

5:32

seen James yet, is that correct? Yes, that's

5:34

correct, yes, he's not seen the teeny yet.

5:37

Now at this point, normally

5:39

we invite the guest to rub the lamp at this

5:41

point, and you can, but also knowing that James has

5:44

just pulled a muscle, I think it's quite funny to

5:46

leave him squatting there for a while. But

5:49

if you would like to get up and rub the lamp you're very welcome

5:51

to do Mike, you go for it. Is

5:53

there any way in particular that is most effective or...

5:57

It depends on which genie law you subscribe

5:59

to Mike. Okay. Well, I don't know if

6:01

you don't keep it, Steve. You

6:05

don't normally rub the lumps undercarriage. It feels

6:07

indecent to go for this and the sort

6:09

of... Just an uppet did rub the

6:11

tip, but you do what you want. Okay. No, let's

6:13

not... I'll go for the

6:16

sort of the bulbous, fleshy... ...man.

6:18

Oh, no. You

6:26

have to have much more pressure than you most

6:28

probably expect to give a cent-time. Okay.

6:34

I mean, I've seen that maybe 12 times

6:37

now and it's always impressive. I

6:40

think it's quite impressive. I've only ever seen it from that

6:42

side, but... You

6:45

feel it come directly out of the nozzle.

6:47

You've lined it up perfectly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

6:49

That took a lot of practice. Yeah. Lead

6:52

with this part of the... ...where

6:55

your forehead meets your scalp. Yeah. You've

6:57

got to lead with that. Okay. That's

7:00

the pathfinder, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

7:02

So, what would be your... If you

7:05

had to jump out of a lamp... Yeah. ...what would be

7:07

your technique, Mike? Probably go breach. And

7:14

see if anyone came to assist. That's

7:17

the sort of test of friendship. I think her and I would be

7:19

good if you're going to go... ...if I found a genie lamp and

7:21

it was a breach, Chief. You're

7:25

going to be confused. The

7:28

old medical background coming into place right away. Yeah, Mike. Get

7:30

clear of the sign, ignore it. It kicks in then again.

7:32

Yeah. When you were

7:34

a doctor, did you have to give a lot

7:37

of patients, like, dietary advice? Which

7:40

is... It's a food podcast. Sorry, Steve.

7:44

We've jumped from genies into the food quicker than

7:47

normal, I'd say. Yeah. That's why it's so tight.

7:49

It's a long time ago and that would probably

7:51

be more pertinent for stoma care, something like that.

7:57

It's the early... It doesn't tend to get

7:59

most people's juices. flowing you'd

8:01

be surprised okay this crowd

8:03

might like her yeah things you told

8:06

people not to eat do

8:17

you ever have someone come to you who ate so many

8:19

carrots they turned orange that happens i

8:21

haven't had that no that but it's not a real thing i

8:23

mean i think it's sort of technically it might be a real

8:25

thing i haven't i think so i think they'd

8:27

be turned away at the door wouldn't they if

8:30

they what of the hospital i think

8:32

so if an orange so if

8:34

an orange man came to no not

8:36

if an orange man an orange man that

8:38

is more than welcome they see orange people

8:40

all the time right they're so funny okay

8:44

but so if an orange man very rarely because of

8:46

carrots so where at what point

8:48

are you turning this person away then if

8:51

if they're carrying a wheelbarrow full

8:53

of half bean carrot it's your

8:55

imagination that's added that bit okay

8:58

but i think that'll be a reasonable move in the tree and i'll

9:01

just depends how busy it is if there've been any major disasters as

9:05

a rule if the person shows up with

9:08

a wheelbarrow full of the things that of course are their

9:10

own ness yeah would they get turned away well

9:12

like well depends not if it's you know trap

9:14

or something like that it's

9:19

a case by case basis yeah haven't done this

9:22

for a long time do you know what i

9:24

mean but yeah that's why i seem to recall

9:26

you've not you've not been a doctor since the

9:28

time of shrapnel injury there's

9:31

very much a wheelbarrow based car park in

9:34

those days if

9:37

you were well enough to operate the

9:39

barrow you were sent home immediately yeah

9:41

it was rule number one that was

9:43

the big test yeah would

9:46

you call yourself a foodie mike you're a

9:48

foodie i'd like to think of myself as a foodie

9:51

but i don't know what qualifies me to say

9:54

that i'm i mean for example

9:56

i'm not a very good cook i don't

9:58

i don't eat out very much What

10:03

are you eating Mike? Get through

10:06

a lot of cereal. I

10:09

know you like cereal bars. Yeah, or in

10:11

any form. Oh yeah. Bars, beers,

10:13

bowls. The whole thing, however it comes.

10:15

When we were writing on the set

10:18

called Man Down together. Thank

10:20

you. You represent the thing

10:22

less than a finger. Alex,

10:25

I didn't know that one out. Did

10:27

quite well actually. When we were writing

10:29

Man Down, Greg Davis' flat because

10:32

it was very professional. Once

10:35

you turned up really hungover but you didn't want Greg to

10:37

know. Or the way you

10:39

tried to keep it secret is you ate five

10:41

cereal bars in a row. But

10:43

for the rest of the day you walked round

10:45

the flat and every time Greg turned around you

10:47

went, I feel so weird. I

10:54

think I got away with it. The

10:59

life hack then. What's

11:02

the life hack? Eat five cereal bars and you feel

11:04

weird. Yeah, you fix these to the wind the night

11:06

before a big day at work. Five's

11:08

the number. What was

11:11

your go-to cereal bar at the

11:13

time? I mixed it up. That's absolutely pivotal

11:15

guys. You've got to mix it up. I

11:17

think there was just a sort of jumble

11:19

of whatever. I'd sort of got free from

11:22

various backstage areas. So the preceding few

11:24

months sort of dug out of a sort of

11:27

soggy hole at the bottom of a backpack basically. What

11:29

were you talking about? Is there a track in there?

11:31

There might have been. I

11:34

think there was, I mean there

11:36

probably would have been a naked bar. I remember you

11:38

used to love naked bars. You and I really got

11:40

into them at the same time and we had to

11:42

talk about them. Then

11:45

they discontinued the banana crunch. Literally

11:48

the next words out of my mouth were going to

11:50

be, they discontinued the banana crunch. Because

11:52

it hit us both really hard. Yeah. It's

11:55

hard to find a platform to talk about that. Publicly.

11:59

Welcome. And then apparently to the London Palladium.

12:05

We're seeing directly above the ashes of Bruce Forsythe.

12:08

Did you guys know this? Because we told the audience last

12:10

night and they were shocked. The ashes of Bruce Forsythe are

12:13

underneath this stage. Yeah, I'm

12:15

sure he'd be thrilled to know what's going

12:17

on. So

12:19

there's a small alone next to him that contains

12:21

the ashes of the banana coin spice. The

12:24

show's a bit of staple. Yeah,

12:27

correction, it did contain it. Unfortunately you two have been going there

12:30

and snuffled up the ashes. No. Naught

12:32

in it between us. Moving it

12:34

up. I want to know about Mike's

12:36

cooking quickly. Yeah, sorry. So

12:38

you say you're not a very good cook. I'm not

12:41

why. I do cook quite regularly. I've got lots of

12:43

very, very good cooks in my sort of family. Yeah.

12:46

So I've been spoiled. So Mike, I mean, you

12:48

know, there's a family at home. There's people to

12:50

feed. So I do cook. If I cook it

12:52

will be like I will

12:54

cook a piece of meat

12:56

until it is definitely safe to eat. Right.

13:01

And there will be some vegetables that

13:03

are not cooked enough so the nutritional

13:05

value has been lost. So

13:07

there'll be like broccoli and carrots that are

13:10

bloody hard work to get through. With

13:13

a bit of sort of charred fish or lamb or something

13:16

like that. So you're a

13:18

fun dad, is what you mean. A fun dad. Yeah.

13:22

Is that your speciality? Is that your special dish? Have

13:25

you got people coming over and it's your job to cook?

13:27

Are you doing the charred meat and the

13:29

hard veg? Charred meat and hard veg. I mean, I can

13:31

manage a tuna pasta bake, a spag ball. I've

13:34

never moved past the sort of student meals. Yeah.

13:38

But I mean, for example, when I left home the

13:40

first time, I can't remember going back

13:42

from sort of this is sort of in tooting. I was walking

13:44

home. Why

13:47

not? Some

13:49

fans have seen, not the fast time, people

13:51

have been amused by you and tooting, isn't

13:54

it? Lovely.

14:00

Lovely. And I was

14:02

just walking out, yeah, to our little halls of residence

14:06

and just realised that I was hungry and

14:09

kind of had this thought, I remember having this

14:11

thought, I am hungry. What

14:15

normally happens now? And

14:18

realised I had to prepare myself a meal and

14:20

went into Deepak's mini-mark and I

14:22

realised there was nothing stopping me from just

14:25

buying a jumbo pack of bacon. Just

14:28

cutting that and having that for tea. Pack

14:32

of bacon. Pack of bacon. So is

14:34

that your answer to what's your speciality? Yeah. A

14:37

pack of bacon. A

14:39

pack of bacon, sometimes separated, sometimes

14:41

just... Sometimes

14:45

it's nice when it's pink in the middle, isn't it? It's

14:49

different ways of serving it. In

14:51

a wheelbarrow? In a wheelbarrow, yeah. It's a foodie crime, do

14:53

you get it? So you convinced your

14:55

children, you

14:59

mentioned cooking for your family and

15:02

doing the vegetables. One

15:04

of the things that I

15:07

found most impressive, like

15:09

anywhere in life in the world

15:11

that I've seen ever, was

15:13

that you managed to convince your children

15:16

somehow that carrots

15:18

and vegetables were a

15:20

delicious treat. Your

15:23

kids are orange now, aren't

15:25

they? Your

15:27

wife and I picked your children up from school once. I

15:29

don't know where you were. Or

15:34

wherever, I might have needed some cereal

15:36

bars afterwards. Well,

15:39

this is a funny old situation, you and

15:41

my wife picking up their children from school.

15:44

Yeah. Oh, this is

15:47

hanging out. Did you

15:51

know about this, mate? My wife's very

15:53

gregarious, she's very sociable. She

15:56

likes a bit of company, do you know what I mean? I

16:01

wasn't about, I thought James is doing that for.

16:03

Send him down. Send

16:05

him down to Exodus. Walk

16:07

with my wife and pick the kids up. Did

16:10

you hook to dresses Mike to make his children

16:12

feel comfortable? Yes. How are your

16:14

days? They

16:18

don't know, they can't tell.

16:21

They can't tell. I

16:24

remember walking back home and

16:26

there was a little, there was a van that sold

16:28

fruit and veg. It was parked up

16:30

like an ice cream van. Directly

16:32

outside the school gates. Yeah. It was right

16:34

near there, it had loads of fruit and

16:36

veg. Sounds like a really bad pain to

16:38

find. It's

16:41

completely got the wrong end of the stick. Kids

16:44

love carrots I think. I

16:46

can see. As

16:48

soon as I saw the veg van, it

16:50

turned to my wife and my, Mummy,

16:53

please can we have a lovely juicy cat?

16:57

Please Mummy. Mummy really

16:59

begging. And then

17:01

she went, okay, thank you so much.

17:03

And then we're going home eating them like, I'm

17:06

so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy. My

17:09

son, delicious, thank you, I'm so happy. You

17:12

can't achieve that without years of

17:14

neglect. It's

17:18

a long game. It's

17:22

only really possible in the southwest as well. I

17:25

think I'm isolated from all advertising and

17:27

other children. Oh God, they've never heard of a

17:29

V&S, no way. No

17:32

happening. Well, we always start with

17:34

still a sparkling water mic. Yeah.

17:36

Do you have a preference? I do, is this

17:39

it? Are we

17:41

in? Yeah, unless you want that to be

17:43

a forewarning, then we can talk about other stuff for a bit and

17:45

come back to it. No, I couldn't tell. Yeah,

17:47

I do have a preference. I always

17:49

go sparkling. Always. Going

17:53

out at a restaurant, I don't get how much at

17:55

all. This for me is enormous, do you know what

17:57

I mean? Yeah. Getting a bit

17:59

of an airing. And it's

18:02

lovely. So it's a bit of a, it's

18:04

a treat anyway. But with

18:06

magical, right, we're in the magical feeling. So

18:09

can I upgrade sparkling to sort of

18:12

fizzy lifting water? We

18:15

go in like from challenge top of the country.

18:17

Fizzy lifting water. Because really, I'm just on my

18:20

own in the restaurant as Harold always imagined. Whatever

18:23

you want. Is that right? If you want that,

18:25

if you want to be alone. Yeah. Yeah,

18:27

yeah. So

18:30

why does the fizzy lifting

18:33

water directly tie into the fact you're alone? Because

18:35

you don't want anyone else to experience the fizzy

18:37

lifting water. Well, two reasons. One is like, I've

18:39

got a bit of time to kill before the

18:42

food comes, right? Yeah. So

18:44

if you've got a bit of time to kill, why not kill it

18:47

flying? And

18:52

secondly, there's obviously, there's the indignity

18:54

of how you dissent with the

18:57

fizzy lifting drink. And I'd rather that was in private.

19:01

We all know what happens when you do things

19:04

like that. Yeah. It's

19:06

a mess, yeah. But they burp,

19:08

don't they? Yeah, they burp. They burp. Yeah.

19:11

They burp. In the book, I think it's, I

19:13

think in the book, even they, I think a

19:15

number lumper dies during the testing process. Oh,

19:18

wow. So

19:23

people remember that. I'm pretty sure a

19:25

number lumper is accidentally, they haven't got the dose

19:27

right, and they accidentally fire an upland into space.

19:31

I don't know why all these wokies have edited

19:34

Roald Dahl. Ha ha ha. Kids

19:36

would love that stuff. Wow,

19:38

all right. I may have misremembered that. The guy's been to

19:40

space in his dinghoes. He's,

19:43

well, I think he's presumed dead. He, well.

19:45

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

19:47

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

19:49

ha ha ha ha ha. He's launched, he

19:52

passes through outer orbits, and then after, I

19:54

think after that, your chances are

19:56

slim. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

19:59

ha ha ha ha. He conquers the rich guys and he's

20:01

not going to spend any money on trying to get out.

20:03

He's already, yeah, he's got a lot overhead, doesn't he? That's

20:06

the thing, it stacks up. Yeah.

20:11

And he always gave the impression that

20:14

the Inpleumpers were willing, but that's... I

20:18

quite like to see the Inpleumpers' perspective

20:21

on that situation. Do

20:23

you think it will be fun flying for the

20:25

first time completely alone? Do you think it might

20:28

be more fun to fly with other people? Your

20:32

wife and children? Yeah, yeah.

20:34

Because Charlie Buckets is

20:37

his grandpa, isn't he? The

20:39

problem is I'm quite risk averse generally in

20:41

life, so I think if I was with my wife and

20:43

children I'd be worried about one of them going off into

20:45

an electricity pile or something like that, do you know what

20:47

I mean? Or finding

20:50

their way into the wrong end of a Chinook. And I kind of...

20:52

I think I'd go one, at

20:56

least. I'd go so... Yeah,

20:58

that's fine, do you know what I mean? It's nice to

21:00

flesh out what's in your dream restaurant as well, Mike. We've

21:06

got electricity pylons and a Chinook

21:08

flying overhead. Yeah,

21:12

yeah, I very much imagine it on the

21:15

sort of Wiltshire sort of

21:17

armaments testing grounds. But

21:21

revolving, right? It is revolving.

21:23

Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, of

21:25

course. Great. Anyone

21:29

want your grandfather to fly with you? What's

21:31

that? Well, Charlie Buckets has

21:33

his grandfather. All right, my grandfather? Well,

21:35

he's long dead, my

21:38

friend. Yeah, but... But this

21:40

is the dream restaurant, Mike. We can bring him back to

21:42

life. But it's not the necromancers' restaurant, is it? Can't be.

21:48

I'm quite happy. I mean, I'm missing, but

21:50

I'm happy to let bygones be bygones. Yeah.

21:58

That would be awful if you brought your grandmother. back

22:00

to life and then he went immediately into the blades of a Chinook.

22:05

It's so great to see you go... Happens

22:12

twice as well, there's two roadways again. Course

22:17

mincing and then fine mincing immediately afterwards. No

22:21

grabbing back. Pobledon

22:32

please. But

22:36

I've got a request slash

22:38

stipulation. That's okay. Absolutely.

22:40

So there was a land

22:43

at my school, I grew up

22:45

in Portsmouth, can I name names?

22:47

Yes. Or do you name names? They do need to beep

22:49

it out? Well, I

22:51

mean, I've lost touch with him but... We

22:54

can't, I will say, we can't beep it

22:56

out live. No? Yeah. End

22:59

of the corner, when this goes down, we can

23:02

beep it out. No, even with three of us, all of

23:04

these people... You'll beep try and beep it for you. Yeah,

23:06

please. Okay. So

23:08

there's this guy called Ben Beeps. Thank

23:11

you. Thank

23:16

you, I can relax now. And

23:21

I think it was him but I may have got that wrong,

23:23

my memory is terrible. So, but

23:25

I think it was him because

23:27

he lived in gospel and he, his

23:30

family were big in the curry scene in gospel. How

23:35

were they big in the curry scene? Well,

23:37

they ate quite a lot of curry. We're

23:44

talking three times a month. A

23:49

lot. Yeah. And

23:52

so he knew the scene. Do you know how I mean gospel is

23:54

just across the water from Poulson's? Yeah.

23:56

So that kind of Poulson's naughty

23:58

little cousin. There

24:01

we go, there you go. And

24:08

another place, yes. Quite

24:10

there by here. But he told me that

24:12

there was a restaurant, a carry house in Gospels,

24:15

where they, I can't remember, it was called

24:17

something like, they served, I think it was called

24:19

something like the

24:21

Maximum Pobodom. Well,

24:27

you wouldn't just go, oh, can we have, oh, how

24:29

many Pobodoms should we have, should we get, should we

24:31

get to, all that kind of discussion. They completely nixed

24:33

that argument by, the

24:36

table you were stuck at, they're all round tables,

24:38

table four appropriate size, two little round table,

24:41

you know, eight big round table. The Pobodom that would

24:43

arrive if you ordered the Maximum Pobodom would be the

24:45

size of the table. Whatever

24:48

table, size table you were on. Yeah, yeah, but

24:50

they'd sit you appropriately was the idea. So the

24:52

table would four be, that sort of size would

24:54

arrive. And that would arrive. And

24:58

I hunted to this place, high and low. I

25:00

never found it. Oh, really? And

25:05

it's only since you asked me on this, I've been

25:07

reminded of that. And I've got a tiny,

25:10

niggling suspicion that

25:13

it might have been bollocks. It's

25:20

the perfect line. How old was his name? His

25:23

name was Ben B. Yeah,

25:26

how old was he? We would have been sort of

25:29

14, some when I was 13. That's

25:31

a bit old to be lying about the Pobodom, isn't

25:33

it? But not out of the, that's what the realms

25:35

of Pobodom were. Well, they're big curry people, I'd say.

25:37

Big curry, big curry family. You know who's big in

25:40

the curry things. He

25:42

might have been lying about that as well. Maybe he

25:44

didn't have three curries a month because that is crazy.

25:50

His whole life could have been an issue of lies, mate. He

25:52

could have kind of associated it, it's true. I

25:57

did find the thing that they were big in curry because I went round and said, house

26:00

at least twice and at least once

26:04

they did order in curry. But

26:07

they weren't ordering in the maximum popular one were they?

26:09

No, it wasn't a take away option that would be

26:11

crazy. On the top of

26:13

the car? Yeah, I don't know. I

26:17

was never gonna make it. Yeah, yeah, for the fly

26:19

off. I think things were in a sort of

26:21

genie staffed restaurant.

26:25

Perhaps we could go. I mean behind you is kind

26:27

of like, I mean that's a beyond

26:29

maximum poppadom. Oh yeah, that's catering

26:31

size isn't it? That's where

26:34

I'm from. It's

26:43

a spirit of breathing man, that's it. So

26:50

you would like the maximum poppadom? Yes please.

26:53

Do you want maximum chutneys with it as

26:55

well? Oh yes please, but I don't know

26:57

where they go because the table's full. You

27:01

could put them on the maximum

27:03

poppadom, dots of different chutneys around the maximum

27:05

poppadom and then like, snap

27:07

them off and work your way in. Like in Jure

27:10

if it? Yeah, that's quite nice. Or

27:12

maybe some sort of nozzles. Like

27:16

hamster? Yeah, so nozzles,

27:19

series of hose pipes. Coming

27:21

down from the ceiling? Yeah,

27:23

or threaded through the pylons. I don't really mind how they get

27:25

it. Is

27:28

the chinook dropping them in? Yeah, maybe they could

27:30

be mortared. You could mortar a mango chutney onto

27:32

the... That

27:34

might be quite fun. Yeah. Stinger

27:38

a lime pickle. Into

27:41

my gob. So

27:44

what speed are these chutneys coming in? Mac

27:47

3? They're

27:50

hard to break the maximum, you know, so you want

27:52

a bit of force to smash up the poppadom a bit.

27:58

And you want to clean up the maximum poppadom all to yourself. It's

28:00

just you. Your dream

28:02

starter, Mike. This

28:06

is quite tricky. I've

28:08

thought about this. Because I have the...

28:11

Well... Well...

28:18

It's sort of an invention in a way. I'm

28:24

calling it the... The

28:27

gudakanufle. What? The

28:31

gudakanufle. Surprise.

28:36

I'm not saying this. Gudakan. So

28:38

you're jumping off point is your

28:40

tiddakan. Yeah? Which you're familiar with. Okay,

28:43

yeah. The tiddakan we know about. Yeah. Ducking

28:46

a chicken in a turkey. Right. The sort of

28:48

stuffing thing. I've never tried. But I don't

28:50

like turkey for me. You're

28:52

joking. I

28:55

can't eat turkey outside of Christmas, otherwise I feel like I'm

28:57

breaking a treaty. I

29:01

would replace the turkey with a goose. Okay. Which

29:04

I think is an establishment. Yeah.

29:07

The gudakanufle. Yes. And

29:10

then it's kind of... So

29:12

yeah, the chicken and the duck and

29:14

the goose. Yeah. And in

29:16

that process, I mean, I'd probably want some

29:19

assurances from the genie way so that that

29:21

sort of stuffing process was... Post-mortem.

29:32

Please. What

29:34

if... For all of them,

29:36

you're the morsel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But

29:38

what if it happened naturally and we

29:41

found them like that? I

29:43

think that raises more questions than it answers. Really?

29:47

Really. So that, yeah,

29:49

that happens. And then within

29:51

the initial, the sort of

29:54

vanguard chicken, the surprise... I'd

29:57

like a toilet,

29:59

please. A toilet? I'm on my own. Do

30:01

you know what I

30:04

mean? You say the chicken is the

30:06

vanguard. Yeah.

30:11

Does the chicken go in the duck or does the duck go in the chicken? Chicken

30:14

goes in the duck. The duck

30:16

is more than the chicken. Yeah, does it? Mike,

30:19

have you seen that chicken in the duck? It

30:24

goes in the duck. No, but

30:26

it goes turn a duck and doesn't it? Or

30:28

goo duck? So I

30:30

don't think it's about size

30:32

or some sort of wheel, really.

30:42

They came up with a word first and

30:45

then they just had to force a

30:48

chicken into a duck. I think so, yeah. I think

30:51

so. Can't

30:54

call it the chit duck. It doesn't

30:57

work. And then the oo-flay bit, it

30:59

goes like an oo-flay. You got the

31:01

oo-flay. Just, you know,

31:03

wait. I give a souffle it, please. Okay.

31:07

So they're checking in a duck and it goes, you

31:10

have a Kinder Surprise toy. Something here. It could be a

31:12

little toy, a little puddle, anything, really. I don't mind. Like

31:15

a cracker, like a cracker. Yeah, a little Phillips screwdriver

31:17

would be fine. Is

31:20

that your favorite cracker gift? You get a

31:23

lot of use out of it, don't you? Not personally.

31:27

No? The little screwdriver. I use a

31:29

tiny screwdriver all the time. I'm

31:31

going to love imagining that. The thing

31:34

is, if I was you, I would decide. I know

31:36

it's meant to be a surprise. Yeah. But

31:39

if I was you, I wouldn't leave it up to us because

31:42

we're already disappointed that we didn't get to use

31:44

our necromancy earlier. Yeah. I see. So

31:47

you suggested the surprise in the chicken is going

31:49

to be Mike's granddad. Miniaturized,

31:54

mummified. Not miniaturized. It's more

31:56

about will than it is. I

32:04

think Stannis Lab had the kind of grits where he'd be

32:07

up for that challenge. And you

32:09

want it souffle-ed on the outside like a baked Alaska? No,

32:11

I just want it to be the whole thing to be

32:13

sort of magically souffle-ed. What do you

32:15

mean? Well,

32:18

I'm not completely sure, but I

32:23

like the texture of a souffle-ed. But I

32:25

want to sort of, I don't want to spoil my appetite.

32:27

I've already eaten a table-sized

32:29

poppadum. And

32:32

I'm looking forward to sort of a big main course.

32:34

So I think I'd like... I forgot this was your

32:36

starter. Yeah. So I'd quite like it

32:38

to be sort of made sort of bubbly and

32:40

light and get the sort of, you know, the

32:42

taste and the experience. You sort of get the

32:44

layers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously

32:46

a layered souffle. Yeah. But

32:49

it's goose, chicken. No,

32:51

goose duck chicken all the way down. A

32:54

toy. Yeah, a toy. A

32:56

toy at the bottom of a souffle. Yeah. Yeah.

32:59

Okay. I absolutely make

33:01

that happen to you. Yeah, great. Good dutch

33:03

souffle. Yeah, yeah. Good dutch souffle. Are you

33:05

eating the whole thing? Yeah,

33:08

yeah, because I... I don't know. I'm assuming

33:10

in the magical souffle-ing process it's going to

33:12

reduce to a degree, isn't it? Oh,

33:15

that's interesting. I'm imagining a souffle... A

33:19

souffle the size of a sort of... Like

33:21

a carpenter's fist. That sort

33:24

of size. Yeah. Decent

33:27

hand. Healthy. Yeah, yeah. Healthy

33:30

clump. Yeah, yeah. Have

33:32

you ever... When you were a doctor, did you have to study a carpenter's fist

33:34

at any point? I mean, they're

33:37

very rare to come in, those guys. Halen

33:39

Harpy. Just the old Nick

33:41

and Callis, that's it. So it's... It's

33:45

the platonic ideal for the fist, really. Not

33:52

afraid, I thought we'd heard him. But it's the sonic ideal of

33:54

a fist. Flexibility

34:01

is great. That's why there's yoga.

34:03

Flexibility for your insurance coverage is

34:05

great too. That's why there's UnitedHealthcare

34:07

Insurance Plans. Underwritten by Golden Rule

34:10

Insurance Company, UnitedHealthcare Insurance Plans offer

34:12

flexible, budget-friendly coverage for medical, vision,

34:14

dental, and more. One

34:16

of these plans may be right for

34:18

you if you're, say, between jobs, coming

34:20

off your parents' plan, turning a side

34:22

hustle into a full hustle, or even

34:25

missed open enrollment. Want more flexibility? Find

34:27

out more about UnitedHealthcare Insurance Plans at

34:29

uh1.com. 1-800-flowers.com is

34:31

more than your birthday, anniversary,

34:33

or just because Everything

34:45

from 1-800-Flowers is made with love, every

34:47

step of the way. Because we know

34:49

that nothing is more important than delivering

34:52

a smile. To learn more, visit 1800flowers.com/ACAST.

34:55

That's 1800flowers.com

34:59

slash ACAST. Hold

35:03

up. What was that? Boring, no

35:05

flavor. That was as bad as

35:07

those leftovers you ate all week.

35:09

Kiki Palmer here, and it's time

35:11

to say hello to something fresh

35:14

and guilt-free, HelloFresh. Jazz up dinner

35:16

with pecan-crusted chicken or garlic butter

35:18

shrimps can be. Now that's music

35:20

to my mouth. HelloFresh. Let's

35:22

get this dinner party started. Discover

35:25

all the delicious possibilities at hellofresh.com.

35:27

Your dream main course, Mike. This

35:33

is quite tricky. Oh,

35:36

I bet it is. But

35:39

it does need some genie help. Oh,

35:41

yeah? It'd be nice

35:43

for you to finally use the

35:46

genie in this meal, Mike. Well, I've got a backup dish. It's

35:49

required there's a backup dish. But the main

35:51

dish is... I

35:54

want to make sure that I'm

35:56

not I want what they're having,

35:58

please. Why

36:04

I mean by that is when I do, I don't go out to

36:06

restaurants very often and I do have a nice old time and I

36:08

try and be a good boy and I try and be... You

36:12

try and be a good boy? I try

36:14

and be a good, brave boy and I

36:16

try and, you know, it's important to try

36:18

new things, yes? So, you know, if

36:20

there's something I don't know what it is, I'll normally, I'll give

36:22

it a go, that kind of stuff and

36:25

I'll make the order and I think, great, I'll

36:27

have a little experiment, see what that is, you

36:29

know, I'm quite happy

36:31

to buy a pig and a poke, basically, when

36:33

it comes to a restaurant. What? I'm

36:36

quite happy to buy a pig and a poke. A pig

36:39

and a poke? A pig and a poke. Okay.

36:41

Yeah? Yeah, yeah. But

36:44

I'll order. Hang on. Well...

36:47

I just assume it's a phrase. Well,

36:50

yeah, but what? What?

36:54

It's a well-established phrase, no? Thank

36:57

you. That's five people in 2000.

37:00

Like, um, buying a pig and a poke. Just

37:04

repeat the phrase, by all means. So,

37:09

normally, you don't want to buy a pig and a poke. So,

37:12

it would normally be used... Mike, we do not

37:14

know what a pig and a poke is. What

37:19

is a pig and a poke? Well, the pig, the pig

37:21

is standard, pig, pig is the pig. Got

37:24

it. Not your cat? No, it is

37:26

called pig. It's called pig, a pig. Yes. And

37:29

a poke, I think, was like a sort of bang or something. So, it

37:31

would be the idea of buying a pig. In

37:34

a bang? In the olden times. Yeah,

37:36

I see. It must have been a

37:38

problem at some stage, where

37:42

pig mongers were going around the place, door

37:45

to door and saying, do you want to buy

37:47

a pig? Yeah, I'm interested in a pig. How

37:49

much for the pig? Five-er. Here

37:51

you go. It's in this poke. And

37:54

then they'd give you the poke, you know,

37:56

which had some weight to it, and you'd get in and you'd... open

38:00

up your poke thinking, oh great, we've got a pig now,

38:02

that's great news, and there'd just be,

38:04

you know, rocks. There'd

38:06

be rocks, there'd be some wet straw,

38:10

a broken

38:14

palette of cereal bars, but

38:18

there would be no pig, and

38:21

the pig salesman would be

38:23

long gone. So the advice would be don't buy

38:25

a pig in a park. It's a cautionary tale,

38:27

it would have been a cautionary tale and another

38:29

cautionary tale that eventually became, you

38:31

know, an idiom. But

38:34

you're using the idiom to say you do want to

38:36

buy a pig in a poke. I am assuming that

38:38

advice, yeah. Yeah, but you're comparing this to being in

38:40

a restaurant, yeah, and

38:43

while you're in a, you will buy a pig in

38:45

a poke. Yeah. You will order something

38:47

knowing that it is not what it says it

38:49

is on the menu, and

38:51

then it's a plate of wet straw. I'm

38:55

willing to take that risk, yes. And

38:57

I would also take the risk of, if there was a main course where it

39:00

was just, you know, mystery

39:02

poke, you know. It's

39:04

pronounced, Mike has pronounced poke. Okay,

39:07

okay. Mystery bag of

39:09

food, then I'd probably go, I'll go for

39:12

the mystery bag of food please. So you'll

39:14

just, yeah, okay, I'll get it now. You

39:16

mean you'll just roll the dice. I want

39:18

to be surprised, I wish to be surprised normally.

39:20

But you don't want to be tricked by the

39:22

pigman. No, I mean in day-to-day life, no, but

39:25

I mean I'm willing to take the risk in

39:27

a restaurant setting that I'm not

39:29

going to be presented with a plate of wet straw.

39:34

But the first thing you said was your

39:36

main course is you'll have what they're having.

39:38

Yes. Even though you did specify at the

39:40

beginning that you will be alone for this

39:42

meal. That's

39:45

true. But the there is what they had. What they

39:47

had. You want what they had.

39:54

I want that. When

40:00

I do order the thing, whatever the thing

40:02

may be, like enough time has

40:04

passed that you can't change, but

40:06

then almost every time I go to a restaurant, five

40:09

minutes after the time has passed to change

40:11

your order, like the kitchen doors are booted

40:13

open. All of

40:15

the staff have been corralled to

40:18

deliver this dish to another

40:20

table, and there are flames

40:22

gushing from everywhere, steam, smoke,

40:24

sirens, everyone's ooing, and someone breaks out into the

40:26

national anthem. It's that level of like the fuss,

40:30

you know, the sort of burning griddle pans, people with

40:32

special gloves, all this kind of stuff is happening.

40:34

Trolleys, things are on wheels, things are coming down

40:36

from the ceiling. Space, like

40:39

tables being kicked out, we just make enough space

40:41

for this extraordinary dish, and everyone's

40:43

applauding, and that's, I mean, I

40:46

want that, what's that? Oh, yes. Please,

40:56

I've never heard that. I've never succeeded.

40:58

I've never read on the menu, there's no

41:00

clue on the menu that this, that

41:03

there will be a fanfare. Usually for

41:05

heaters. And

41:08

that's normally a face mask, if you want that sort of thing,

41:10

Mike. For heaters and a poke.

41:12

Or a birthday cake. Okay. So

41:15

maybe it's for heaters then. Yeah. You

41:21

want one there, Had, we know that. I want one there,

41:23

yeah. They do the most possible. Uncle Phil does good

41:26

for heaters. So do

41:28

Uncle Phil there? From first friends. You

41:35

and cousin Carlton enjoy those? You've

41:38

got quite, when you danced on, you had real

41:40

Carlton energy actually. Yeah, you couldn't, yeah.

41:43

That's a shame. Well, come on,

41:45

Mike, you didn't know how I knew. You were well, did you? No. We

41:48

all like to think that we've got a bit of

41:51

willingness, don't we? We

41:53

didn't walk on and slap us. Different

41:59

on good. an Uncle Phil. Doesn't

42:01

mean for Ethan. But

42:03

yeah, I mean, I would say if you know what that is, if

42:05

it's not for Ethan, it's more interesting. I mean, the full bottom, I

42:07

mean, quite, be quite happy to just have a Lancashire hotpot with a

42:10

sparkle in it. But

42:13

you want that presentation, you want that presentation. Yeah,

42:15

and again, it's not, I don't want this sort

42:17

of, I mean, I don't have to have the

42:19

reaction. Yeah. Because I'm on my own, that's fine. I'm not,

42:21

I'm not trying to sort of, you know, sort of draw attention.

42:24

I just want, just want to want to experience that. Oh

42:26

my God, here it comes, moments. I

42:29

want there to be the genuine jeopardy

42:31

that I could burn myself to

42:33

the point where I'm unrecognizable. Just

42:37

from the delivery of the dish,

42:39

just from judging it wrong, just from trying

42:41

to clear that mustard pot out of the

42:44

way to be helpful. And being sort

42:47

of seared, stuck to the side of a four

42:51

foot griddle pan, you know, becoming part of the dish.

42:53

Do you know what I mean? I want that

42:56

chance, you know, for someone to have a scrape

43:00

of a crispy mike skid and tell

43:03

me what it was like. Is there plenty for heaters that you're

43:05

talking about? Is there be? Yeah. Uncle

43:08

Phil's, please. Where's Uncle

43:10

Phil's? What's that? Where's Uncle Phil's?

43:12

What is Uncle Phil's? It's

43:16

quite how Uncle Phil lives, Ed. Hang on, is it

43:18

a restaurant or is it your Uncle Phil? Neither.

43:24

But it is a man. It is my

43:27

brother-in-law. Your brother-in-law? And you call your brother-in-law

43:29

Uncle Phil? Been

43:31

known to. Sometimes

43:34

we squish that into Funkle for

43:36

a bit of fun. That is

43:38

funny. He is a fun guy. So

43:41

when Funkle does his

43:44

for heaters, is there the fanfare? Does he bring them

43:46

out on the sizzling platter? There will

43:48

be sizzle. I don't know.

43:50

It's not the level of sizzle and

43:53

flames and all that stuff that I'm

43:55

after. He will be more

43:57

likely to compensate with the visual

43:59

factor. fair with some

44:01

choice swearing. So

44:06

there is, it's an event, it's definitely an event.

44:10

But it's not, it's not, yeah, it's not kicking through

44:12

the swing doors kind of. I get what you mean,

44:15

you're anticipating it, when the fungal brings it out you

44:17

know that they're coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:19

This is what we're doing for heaters tonight. Yeah. Here

44:22

they are. Fuck, cunt, whatever he's saying. Yeah. And

44:25

then like, and then like, when you're in the... He

44:30

gave it a go, it might work for the guys up there maybe if it's

44:33

sort of... Depending

44:35

on the sound trajectory. Yeah. But

44:38

you want to be not expecting it, you're

44:40

in a restaurant, you hear it. Yeah. And

44:42

then you see it and you get jealous. Yeah. Do

44:45

you want the Chinook pilot to be looking

44:47

over and being like, what's he got? I

44:49

want the Chinook pilot to be on standby

44:51

because he needs to be, the whole Chinook

44:53

crew, they need to be carrying a sort of

44:55

you know, an 18,000

44:57

litre vat of water over the top of

44:59

the restaurant in case of a catastrophe. In

45:01

case you get stuck to the griddle. Yeah,

45:04

yeah. If you do get stuck

45:06

to the griddle. Yeah. Are you going to

45:08

carry on with the rest of the meal? Because

45:10

you seem quite excited by the notion of,

45:12

I believe your phrase was becoming part of

45:14

the dish. Yeah. Yeah,

45:17

I carry on absolutely regardless. Because you became

45:19

part of the dish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

45:22

You said you had a backup dish. I'm very happy

45:24

with it. Languish it in your hot pot with the

45:26

sparkle in it. Please. Is that the backup dish? That's

45:28

the backup dish, yeah. Lovely. Yeah, a

45:30

couple of sparkles. How do you get some offal going? Position

45:32

a sparkle in your languish it. Good

45:34

question. Hot pot, is that, is it

45:37

fairly solid? In

45:39

my mind it's not. I think the,

45:42

and forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think

45:44

the other potato layer is going to handle that.

45:46

And you've got, beneath

45:49

the potato layer you've got hopefully, hopefully

45:51

a very, very dense, thick collection

45:54

of lambs,

45:57

kidneys, other bits of lamb,

45:59

miscellaneous lamb. We're an adhesive gravy

46:01

and I think that's

46:03

gonna plant very nicely in that. I

46:06

think you could even put a few in and some of

46:08

them could even be a sconce and you'd be okay. Yeah,

46:12

I think so. Because there's so much offal

46:14

in there. The chances of a

46:16

sparkler going through are not hitting a bit

46:18

of offal before it hits the bottom of

46:20

a slim aren't they? Yeah, I

46:22

think a kidney would be quite a good little anchor

46:25

for the ballast. Yeah, I think so. The

46:27

thing is with the sparklers once they've gone out, you

46:30

still can't approach it can you? What?

46:34

Well you shouldn't go back... Okay, well I... Hang

46:38

on, hang on. Can I... well then I'll request

46:40

maybe the genie brings the

46:42

Lancashire hot pot with sparklers and

46:45

as well as my fork can I have some

46:47

sort of gauntlet please? Yeah.

46:50

To remove the... yeah. What do you mean James? Well

46:52

you should never go back to one. Oh.

46:55

Once it's been lit. I believe the phrase is don't

46:57

go back to a lit firework and I... I

47:01

don't think sparklers count. Yeah. You

47:04

should never go back to them. In

47:07

Kessering all the recreational grounds are just covered in

47:10

layer upon layer of abandoned sparklers. It's all metal

47:12

parts now isn't it? Yeah. You can't go in.

47:14

Yeah, we never go back to a lit spot.

47:16

We never go back to the lit spot. How

47:18

do you hold it? Aren't you supposed to light

47:20

a sparkler and then hold it? Are you just

47:22

lighting the sparkler and then immediately throwing it away?

47:24

Yeah, that's when it becomes dangerous. It's all fine. There's

47:27

someone lights it and then you've just got to let go of everyone. And

47:31

never go back to it. I

47:34

like the fajitas choice mate. Okay. It's a lovely

47:36

choice. It's what it turned out to be. But are there other

47:38

things? I mean is that... is that... there's nothing else you recognise

47:40

as that? You eat out a lot don't you? You

47:43

do? Is there? Nothing

47:45

that I recognise from your exact description. Maybe

47:49

like a dish where like in a fancy

47:51

restaurant they might bring it and there's a

47:53

cloche. There's a cloche or a

47:55

glass dome or something like that. And

47:57

they'll... together all of the waiters will do it.

48:00

this and then they'll whip the cloche off and

48:02

there's smoke, smoke billows. It says like back draft.

48:07

It's back draft. It's actually the answer to that. Yeah,

48:10

yeah. It's experience. They'll normally

48:12

play pin smoke but in

48:14

the kitchen. Some sort

48:16

of like woody smoke. Okay. And

48:19

then they'll lift it up and the smoke dissipates

48:21

and makes absolutely no difference to the

48:23

flavour of the dish. Okay. You know what I

48:25

enjoyed just then Mike? Yeah. Was

48:28

watching you listen to Ed describe something that

48:30

is actually real. As if what

48:32

Ed was saying was fucking bonkers. So

48:35

are you saying that was real?

48:37

That is real. That's the real thing. Yeah.

48:40

Is that a real thing? Yes. What?

48:44

Well for that theatre that you're talking about that

48:47

you enjoy, that's what you wanted, wasn't it? That

48:49

sort of thing? I don't know. That seems a

48:52

bit sneaky to me. What's

48:54

sneaky about that? Because I don't

48:56

think I want to be delivered a cloche

48:59

of smoke. There's

49:02

other food in there. They're

49:04

not going like enjoy your dinner.

49:08

Fuck you, it's just smoke. Okay. There's

49:11

other food, there's food in there. Okay fine. And

49:13

the smoke's been piped in and it's just like a magical

49:16

way of presenting it. Okay. So the

49:18

smoke can affect the flavour sometimes? The smoke

49:20

can affect the flavour sometimes, yeah. Okay.

49:22

It's normally dispersed, right? It would

49:24

be bad if I agree. I think I want the journey. I think I

49:27

want to see them coming. Yeah. That

49:29

feels like an ambush. Right. Do you

49:31

know what I mean? Yeah. I

49:33

want to see the, yeah, I want to

49:35

see the whites of their eyes.

49:37

I don't know. It's not the right phrase. Yeah.

49:41

It's quite a sort of military

49:43

meal generally so far, isn't it? It's

49:45

turning out that way, isn't it? Yeah. I'm

49:48

worried that the Chinook's person, when

49:51

someone's really burst out of the kitchen, is

49:53

basically attacking you, some old

49:55

train that might kick in. It's

49:58

a risk, isn't it? But then you've got to... being

50:00

attacked has actually just been served some phases and very

50:05

badly damaged Chinook pilots attacked one of the

50:07

way since you know

50:09

spit chat fuel isn't it? RIP

50:12

and cofil. Your

50:15

drinks side dish Mike? Alpha

50:19

bites please. A

50:23

lot of fans have had alpha bites then? Never allowed

50:25

them. To this day?

50:29

Well still never quite dared to pick them out

50:31

of the old freezer. It

50:33

was deeply ingrained. Yeah. Taboo.

50:38

So yeah I think this is to the next

50:40

of note. So

50:43

I've never had alpha bites either but I have

50:45

a request that I... Are they potato? Yeah

50:47

yeah. Basically

50:49

chips, alphabet shaped chips. I've

50:52

never had them either. Have you not? No. Who's

50:56

had alpha bites? That

50:58

was good chance. A shit. Footy

51:04

Adamments. Didn't think it

51:06

was that sort of gig. Our

51:09

listeners get pretty rowdy Mike. Especially

51:12

when it comes to alpha bites. It sounds like

51:14

yeah. I do apologise. But

51:16

I'm going to stick to my guns. Would

51:18

you spell some things out with the alpha bites

51:20

before you ate them? Would you have fun with them? I

51:23

think it's great fun to be had isn't it? Yeah. What

51:25

sort of things would you spell? Maybe

51:27

some rude words. Go

51:30

on. We can spell

51:32

it out one letter at a time. So we can visualise it on the

51:34

plate. Would you want to

51:36

be it out? Letter by letter.

51:40

Bum. Do you know what I mean?

51:42

There's options. Would you start with bum

51:44

would you? Start

51:46

with bum. I work my way up. Every

51:51

so often Mike I remember that you're having this meal alone. Bum.

51:57

Looking around. Down

52:01

the way around the floor. With his one

52:03

good eye, the best of it. Chin

52:09

up helicopter pilot having a panic attack in the

52:11

corner. Are

52:15

you dipping it in anything, the alphabites? Oh

52:18

yeah, yeah, they're very much the... Well, it

52:20

depends on what the dish is. Like if

52:22

it's back up Lancashire hotpot, then I'll be dipping it in the old

52:24

gravy. Yeah. Big

52:27

time. If it's the... Well,

52:31

is it for heaters? So

52:34

heaters was the other choice. I think I'm fulfilled for

52:36

heaters, but what they're having. Yeah.

52:39

Oh yeah, what they're having. I'll

52:42

probably risk popping the

52:44

letter C in a bit of quack. See

52:48

what happens. Is

52:50

that the best of jet quip, do you reckon, the letter C? I

52:52

think so, because you've got to hook with it, do you know what

52:55

I mean? Yeah, yeah. Do

52:58

you think in the alphabites, because none of us have had

53:00

them, do you think they include the letter L, or is

53:03

that just too similar to a chip? The

53:05

lower case L. Yeah. Lower case

53:07

L. These are capitals, you might. These are the

53:09

case. I've

53:11

never had them. How

53:14

in the name of God are they going to do a lower case I? Just

53:20

chuck it all in. Madness, madness.

53:25

Well, he got you mad. You've

53:27

been burned. I'm happy to learn. He

53:29

just got burned by Wozniak and the Palladium. I

53:32

got burned by the most burned man we've ever had on

53:34

the podcast. Well,

53:37

I guess. Same question with a cap at the

53:39

line, right? Yeah. Is

53:41

that just like a normal chip? Or

53:44

are they putting those bits in the top and bottom? Oh yeah, they're

53:46

putting the bits on. Fucking do it, Mike. He

53:49

thought it was just going to be a straight eye. Fucking

53:51

happen. I'm trying to

53:53

help you. It's going to be like that, isn't

53:55

it? You idiot. Look at this cunt. It

53:59

ain't. He just got into some bad fonts, do

54:01

you know what I mean? I thought... I

54:04

thought... Wrong crowd, wrong

54:06

fonts. Yeah. He didn't

54:08

know any better. So it

54:10

doesn't bother you that they're shit apparently. No,

54:14

I don't mind eating shit from time to time.

54:18

I think we have sometimes sort of great comfort

54:20

from eating total crap and I

54:22

think in a way it may be the

54:24

fact that they've been sort of... Well,

54:28

for want of a better term,

54:30

or lust objects. There are

54:33

better terms. Yeah. I

54:35

think we can definitely find better terms. That letter

54:37

always been in there, but how about now? It's

54:41

more a matter of whale, isn't it? Yeah.

54:46

Oh, he will. I

54:49

think there's something fundamentally wrong with

54:51

him. I think that it'll

54:53

feel like it's a vice. It'll feel all the

54:56

more exciting if they're a

54:58

bit of work. If they need a lot of

55:00

sound cream or guac or... If

55:02

I've got to reactivate the nozzles from earlier on

55:04

and... From

55:06

firing everything at it. Yeah. Then

55:10

I'll be like, okay, Mum, you were right. Are

55:13

you going to rub it in your parents' faces that you're

55:15

eating them? Are you going to be like... No, they've got

55:17

enough of them, they're playing to me. They worry enough.

55:21

Do you know what I mean? Where do you

55:23

stand on potato smileys? Because they're essentially the same

55:25

thing, I guess, right? Yes.

55:29

For reasons that aren't clear to me, I

55:31

realise now they didn't cross the line of...

55:34

The forbidden potato products line.

55:37

So you used to have potato smileys? Rarely,

55:40

but it did come up. So

55:44

your parents... I'm wondering

55:46

why they were allowed, whereas the

55:48

letters were... They're left to time-conceive.

55:51

The letters you're going to get distracted. You

55:54

start smelling words, doing stuff. The

55:56

smiley faces. A bunch of them

55:58

seem one. That's it, innit? Yeah,

56:01

surely parents should be encouraging literacy

56:03

shouldn't they? True, unless,

56:05

yeah, I can't really think what the scenario would

56:07

be. I mean, yeah, if it was a necromancy

56:09

based restaurant, yes, then you don't want people to

56:12

come just certain, like, letters and you don't want

56:14

to be able to Ouija board your side plate,

56:16

do you? A

56:19

potato, smiley Ouija board. Yeah, but that

56:22

wasn't happening, so I don't know what the explanation is.

56:24

But yeah, but I'm more on the Todd, so I

56:26

think I'll go for the letters. Yeah. A

56:28

bit more diverting. One of every letter. No,

56:32

I think I'm going to want a few spare

56:34

vowels. Please. Yeah.

56:40

I'm happy to go with just one of

56:42

J, X, Y and so on,

56:44

because I think I'm going to want a banana gram at some

56:46

point. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to rush

56:48

the evening. And I'm hoping because they're

56:50

sort of, because it is the genie element, they're not going to

56:52

go cold. You can serve them

56:55

on a hot plate at the very least, can you? On

56:57

a hot plate? Well, not really. I

57:00

mean, do you want

57:03

me to sit this course out and make sure Riley

57:05

can serve these to you? You

57:07

can ask for consonants and vowels

57:09

to your house content. I'll stick with the genie. I'll stick

57:12

with the genie. Yeah, well, Riley, can you hear this? Oh,

57:14

come on, man. Voderman, every time. Sorry.

57:17

Of course, Voderman. You're getting Voderman in for this.

57:19

Yeah. All right, all right.

57:21

We'll Voderman it. Well,

57:25

the option of Voderman, if I'm feeling tasty,

57:27

if I'm on good form with the lettuce,

57:30

then we can conjure Voderman to

57:33

throw down the gauntlet. But otherwise, yeah, I

57:35

think I'll just carry on just playing with

57:37

the hot, salty fat. You

57:41

dream drink, Mike. That's tricky. Well,

57:43

it depends. This depends again. What did we

57:45

settle on? Did we settle on the griddle? I'm

57:48

going to go for a drink. I'm going to go for

57:50

a drink. Back-up Lancashire hot pot, I'd go for a pint

57:52

of old thumper. No? Don't allow it.

57:55

I'm not shaking my head because you can't have it. I'm shaking

57:57

my head because I've never heard of a pint of hot pot.

58:00

Oh right, and it sounds like the sort of thing

58:02

you would make up for. We're now in a world

58:04

where we accept these things. At the

58:06

start of the gig I was questioning stuff

58:08

like picking a pope, and now I'm just

58:11

accepting that a pint of old thumper is

58:13

a thing. Ringwood

58:15

breweries. Yes. I think it

58:18

was the first kind of pint of bitter that I had

58:20

really. In the little pub where we used to go to

58:22

where, in that era when you're trying to

58:24

get served and all that kind of

58:26

stuff. People were going for

58:28

ales because they thought it seemed more convincing

58:30

that they were older. That

58:32

thing yeah? Yeah. They wanted the

58:34

ice cold lager but they were like I'll have a pint

58:37

of the old thumper because they thought it was incredible that

58:39

therefore they were 52 years old. And

58:42

didn't need to be ID. Wearing

58:45

a cardigan, going in. From the

58:47

few occasions we were served everyone else would be like.

58:52

Trying to get through it. I was sitting

58:54

there going I think this is delicious. And

58:58

I think even as a sort of 17

59:01

year old boy I didn't realise at the

59:03

time I realised now I was already inhabited

59:05

by the spirit of a middle aged man. Yeah.

59:09

So that's and it would go very well with the hot

59:11

pot if that's happening. I mean if it's

59:14

the flambé spectacular just

59:18

give me an oozer. Literally

59:23

chucking fuel on the fire. Taste

59:27

of holiday isn't it? Oozer. It

59:29

is. Yeah I guess so. Very specific.

59:32

I've never had it. No? No.

59:35

I remember the insane clown posse used to drink it.

59:37

Did they? That's what I know about Oozer. Don't they

59:39

have their own drink though the insane clown posse? Maybe

59:41

now. Called Faygo. What

59:44

is that? Is there only a... Is it so? What

59:47

is it? Juggalo in the audience saying yes.

59:50

What is it? Pure sugary filth. Pure

59:52

sugary filth. I think it's a very very sugary

59:55

alcoholic drink. It's called Faygo. Do you know the

59:57

insane clown posse Mike? I

1:00:02

mean, very surprised if you did, to be honest.

1:00:04

I can't imagine you and the posse ever crossing

1:00:06

paths. What kind of acts are we talking about?

1:00:09

Guess. Guess what the insane clown

1:00:11

posse is. I'm

1:00:13

going to say neo-folk

1:00:16

punk fusions. Electric

1:00:19

accordion. They

1:00:21

probably do that, no? They're a white rap

1:00:24

group, but they paint their faces like sort of

1:00:26

evil clumes. And all

1:00:28

of their fans are called juggalos,

1:00:31

and they just get quite drunk and violent. But they

1:00:33

don't drink, as far as I'm aware, ouzo. Well,

1:00:38

that's what I knew about them when I was a

1:00:40

teenager. I read an interview with the insane clown posse,

1:00:43

and they said that they drank ouzo a lot. OK.

1:00:47

And then I was quite surprised when I was

1:00:49

older, and they released a song about how lovely

1:00:51

miracles are and how they believe in God. Yeah,

1:00:54

they had a swerve later on in their career. It's

1:00:57

a rap about all the lovely things. But still

1:01:00

does the fancy dress rap. Yeah, yeah. But

1:01:02

rapping about how amazing all the things in the world

1:01:04

are. They sound like a lovely bunch of boys. It's

1:01:08

a really funny song. Yeah,

1:01:10

they say, aren't they? They

1:01:13

say, aren't they seeing miracles every day?

1:01:15

Yeah. And they

1:01:17

say, it's really good. They're like the miracle

1:01:19

of a rain moment. Are

1:01:22

those the miracles? Do you like that? They're not. You

1:01:26

know about ouzo? Apparently, ouzo, when you

1:01:28

drink it, crystallizes in your stomach. So

1:01:31

the next day, you drink water, and it re-dilutes it, and

1:01:33

you get drunk again the next day. Definitely

1:01:36

bollocks. What's

1:01:38

the name of the boy who told you that? Why

1:01:42

is that bollocks, Mike? Because

1:01:44

it's just absolutely ironclad

1:01:47

bollocks. It's

1:01:50

not just going to sit in your, well, how's it going to do that?

1:01:54

You're in a state of constant sloughing. What?

1:01:57

Beg your pardon. Speak for yourself, mate. A

1:02:00

bit of constant sluffing. Yeah. Is

1:02:02

that another beer? Boiling away. Roiling

1:02:05

acids and sloughed

1:02:08

linings. Don't stand a chance. Sloughed

1:02:11

linings? Yeah. Never

1:02:14

felt more uncomfortable about my own body ever. I

1:02:18

could have broken that one gently, couldn't I?

1:02:21

How was your bedside manner when you were a doctor? Well,

1:02:26

I did have to leave the profession. You

1:02:30

kept on bringing up sluffing every time people came

1:02:32

in. It wasn't appropriate. Yeah. This

1:02:34

is difficult now. So I want you to have the

1:02:36

pint of old something. Yeah. But that would mean you'd

1:02:38

have to have the Lancashire hotpot. And I want you

1:02:40

to have what they're having. Well, let's settle. I'll

1:02:44

lock it in. I'll have

1:02:47

what they're having. And I'll risk

1:02:51

sinking it down with a little Uzo, despite

1:02:54

the naked flames. Do you want the insane

1:02:56

clown posse to be with you drinking the Uzo? Happy

1:03:00

for them to be coming through the speakers. Sounds

1:03:05

unfriendly, doesn't it? And you have to describe it. They do sound

1:03:07

like a lovely group of boys. Yeah. Yeah. I'm

1:03:10

being very selfish. They can drive you to the main

1:03:12

course. Yeah. It's a group. It's a

1:03:14

group meal, isn't it? What we're talking about. That amount of smoke.

1:03:16

You can't eat that on your own. You can't have figs. There's

1:03:18

going to be poppadom left over. Yeah, yeah. Bring them in. Bring

1:03:21

them in. Bring them in. Yeah, actually, it

1:03:23

would blow their mind, because they love miracles. Yeah.

1:03:25

If they came in, they see

1:03:27

the giant poppadom. They see you, busy

1:03:29

lifting drinks, flying around. Yeah. You've

1:03:32

somehow got a chicken in a duck.

1:03:34

Yeah. So revolving. They've got to be

1:03:37

like so many miracles. Yeah. One

1:03:39

of them is bound to need a mini screwdriver. Yeah.

1:03:43

I do feel like you should have a pint of Old Thumper,

1:03:45

though. Because it was a lovely story. Could you

1:03:47

have a pint of Old Thumper, as well? We arrived at

1:03:49

your drink dessert, Mike. It's very exciting.

1:03:52

I'm kind of anticipating more genie magic

1:03:54

here. Am I right? Yeah.

1:03:58

Yeah. for

1:04:00

pudding please, because I have, I would

1:04:02

like, well it goes by many names. Okay.

1:04:09

But some people would call it the peace of shame. Some

1:04:13

people? Yeah. Some people would call it

1:04:16

the decency slice. Are

1:04:18

you familiar with this, any of you? One

1:04:20

person. I

1:04:22

think the Germans would call it the, the, the, the, the, the,

1:04:24

the, the, the, the, the, something like that. Dutch

1:04:28

something very similar. Yeah, okay. I think

1:04:30

in the Philippines it's, it's the peace of shame. It

1:04:33

is of shame. It's the last bit of cake. We're all

1:04:35

very relieved that that's what they call it in the Philippines.

1:04:37

Yeah. It's

1:04:40

the last bit of cake, for whatever it is.

1:04:42

Yeah. It's the last bit of

1:04:45

a table on the, the plates, whatever it may be. Yeah.

1:04:48

Every, everyone wants, but no one, you know,

1:04:50

it feels shameful to, like it has a

1:04:53

name. We don't have that here, a name

1:04:55

for it, but there are many nations where

1:04:57

they, they have a name for it

1:04:59

because it's a thing, because it's so alluring. And

1:05:02

I, I, I understand that allure. Yeah.

1:05:06

I feel like I'm going to be quite burdened up. Unless

1:05:12

I've had a bit, a bit too

1:05:14

much post-crystallized Uzo. I

1:05:20

will never go for the peace of shame. And

1:05:22

I just, I just want, just once, just once.

1:05:24

I don't mind what it is particularly. It could

1:05:26

be any kind of, it will require the genie

1:05:29

to take the revolving restaurant somewhere where I mean,

1:05:32

it's a bit intrusive. It does require us to

1:05:34

sort of track the beam out someone's cake from

1:05:36

a sort of family occasion. Anniversary,

1:05:40

wedding, something. Yeah.

1:05:45

If we could do that discreetly, I don't think that's a job

1:05:47

for the Chinook. I think that's one for the genie. Yeah.

1:05:50

I can do that. I mean, is

1:05:52

it, is that, so there's a shame in this sense

1:05:55

coming from the fact that you have tried to beam it

1:05:57

away from a family. Obviously,

1:06:01

there's not people around. And

1:06:03

there's not the shame of taking that long. It needs to be

1:06:05

active. The events still need

1:06:07

to be ongoing. For

1:06:10

the piece of shame to be habits

1:06:12

allure, there needs to be people almost

1:06:14

hovering around, kind of licking

1:06:16

their lips. Did that again?

1:06:18

Sort of like this. Sort

1:06:22

of stalking it a little bit, maybe

1:06:24

sort of approaching it and then noticing

1:06:26

that Uncle Gilbert's also stalking it. And

1:06:28

then Marjorie's also interested in, you know,

1:06:32

Cathy's picking off a couple of crumbs here and

1:06:34

there. So we're not

1:06:37

just like bringing the cake

1:06:39

in from another occasion. We're bringing some of

1:06:41

the guests as well. The

1:06:44

guests are pivotal. We need to see the

1:06:46

guests. I don't want to intrude. But

1:06:49

you need to intrude for this to be the piece of

1:06:51

shame, don't you? Yeah, okay. So, well,

1:06:54

the restaurant, we've backtracked a little bit then. So the

1:06:57

restaurant is gonna need to be this sort of mobile,

1:07:00

sort of translucent orb.

1:07:03

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! So

1:07:05

that's all right? Yeah, yeah. Quick and

1:07:08

retro for that. Yeah, absolutely. Sort

1:07:10

of glass bottoms. We

1:07:14

then need to be able to see

1:07:16

through the roof and the ceiling and

1:07:18

whichever bedrooms or bathrooms are sort

1:07:20

of impeding the view into the

1:07:22

kitchen or the dining area. You're

1:07:24

sort of floating over a village.

1:07:27

Floating over a village. This is

1:07:29

like... Sort of in a glass elevator, really. Yeah.

1:07:32

So, for one thing again, yeah. Also a

1:07:34

bit giant peachy. Yeah. Bit giant

1:07:36

peachy. Very dull. The whole thing's very dull. And

1:07:39

we need to, yeah, we need to be able to sort of,

1:07:41

yeah, sort of seeing, yeah, we need to make that, I mean,

1:07:44

it'd be ideal to be able to, I don't want to sort

1:07:46

of blast a hole through these people's, like

1:07:48

they've worked hard for their house. Do you know what I mean? It's

1:07:52

important to bear in mind. And

1:07:55

getting laborers out to fix it. So, they might

1:07:57

be waiting for months. They'd be having a... a

1:08:00

bit of tarp over the roof and it's not going to do with

1:08:02

this weather. Do

1:08:04

you know what house you're going to or are you

1:08:06

just floating over a village hoping that some people are

1:08:08

eating a cake and there's one slice left? The

1:08:12

second one. Because

1:08:14

we could make it easier for you because you're

1:08:16

getting tied up in that they've worked hard for

1:08:19

the house. Yeah. But we could choose like a

1:08:21

horrible family who you won't

1:08:23

feel bad about doing

1:08:26

this. But then it's not a piece of shame. No exactly.

1:08:28

Then it's yeah. What is that? They have

1:08:30

to be good people. No it's not a piece of retribution.

1:08:32

Yeah yeah they've got to be the best people. Okay. They've

1:08:36

got to be absolute salt of the bloody

1:08:38

ass these guys. So

1:08:41

when we find the house or the

1:08:43

church hall or whatever is happening say wedding I

1:08:45

think the wedding was. Well weddings

1:08:47

quite good yeah I guess it's a wedding cake sure. So

1:08:49

there's one slice of wedding cake left. Yeah although no because

1:08:51

they're going to want to freeze that. No it can't be

1:08:54

wedding cake. Sorry

1:08:57

that's probably the only one that yeah. Funeral?

1:09:00

Funeral cake. What was

1:09:02

your funeral cake like? I'm

1:09:04

trying to think of that. What

1:09:08

was that funeral cake like? Is

1:09:12

there a funeral cake? I don't think so. Not

1:09:14

a thing is it? Maybe a wake cake. A

1:09:16

wake cake. A christening cake.

1:09:19

Christening again is complicated isn't it? Let's

1:09:23

say ruby anniversary. You can

1:09:27

always find one of them. How many

1:09:30

years is that Ruby? Even

1:09:35

easier. What's 50? Silver

1:09:37

gold? So

1:09:43

you're floating over a ruby anniversary in a

1:09:45

village. Yeah. And you can see

1:09:47

through the roof of a venue. And they've got married young. I

1:09:49

don't want to be taking off a couple of like non-agenarians

1:09:53

or anything like that. Yeah so they're 60

1:09:55

maybe. Yeah if

1:09:57

late 50s maybe we might be talking

1:09:59

about. I think we've got a Gretna

1:10:01

Green job there. Yeah. But

1:10:04

a Gretna Green wedding. Yeah. So

1:10:07

they eloped to Gretna Green. They got married. And

1:10:09

now they're late 50s. So they

1:10:11

couldn't un-fund these guys. And it's

1:10:14

worked. They proved everyone wrong. Yeah.

1:10:16

Absolutely. It's a triumph.

1:10:18

It's lovely, lovely. Really, it's a lovely

1:10:20

story. Yeah, it's a great story. There's

1:10:23

one slice of cake left at the

1:10:25

Ruby anniversary. I bet I'm

1:10:27

going to say, I'm not expecting what's about to

1:10:29

happen next. And

1:10:33

the thing about those two is they

1:10:35

plan everything very carefully. Yeah. And

1:10:37

they feel that they are people that

1:10:39

expect the unexpected. But this is

1:10:43

coming from the blind spot. So

1:10:47

now I'm just trying to imagine how then you

1:10:49

go about this height. Yeah. Yeah. Are

1:10:51

you being teleported from the orb into

1:10:54

the event? No, I'm going to stay in the orb. Right.

1:10:59

The orb is going to beam it

1:11:01

through the house, first of all, so

1:11:03

that we can see what's going on.

1:11:06

And then it's going to attract the beam, suck up the

1:11:08

last bit of

1:11:12

cake. The

1:11:14

only person who is going

1:11:16

to witness that is the

1:11:18

10-year-old grandson who everyone

1:11:21

will think is lying. Yeah. And

1:11:26

who's making the perfect

1:11:28

creation? Does

1:11:31

it make it the piece of shame? If no one

1:11:33

else sees you do it, surely the piece of shame

1:11:35

that everyone sees, they just want it. They want it.

1:11:37

They all want it. So it's the shame

1:11:39

all on you. It's all internal shame. Yeah, yeah,

1:11:41

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Internal

1:11:43

shame cake. It's internal shame, which brings

1:11:46

out the

1:11:49

acidity of the blueberry.

1:11:53

I don't know. Good ganache. Apricot.

1:11:56

Cheese cake. Apricot cheese cake. And the

1:11:58

crunch of the... the three

1:12:02

and the so on.

1:12:05

You'll need your menu back to announce here yourself about that.

1:12:08

Is there anything else

1:12:10

you want to add Mike before we read your

1:12:12

menu back to you? No, we absolutely stuffed after

1:12:15

that, thank you. Enjoy

1:12:17

reading this one back James? Yep. There's

1:12:20

not an iPad in here. James

1:12:24

had a little problem with the iPad in Glasgow

1:12:27

and accidentally loaded up a Lewis Capaldi video on

1:12:29

YouTube. I

1:12:31

don't know how he managed that one in a row.

1:12:40

Would you like to be left in water please?

1:12:42

You would like the maximum poppadom with

1:12:44

maximum chutney. You would like

1:12:47

a Gouduck and O'Flay with a toy. You

1:12:50

want what's that? Gouduck

1:12:55

and O'Flay surprise, the thing would be quite,

1:12:57

yeah, but I don't, yeah. But

1:13:00

you're right, yeah, a bigger problem. Apologies. What

1:13:03

there had, brackets, uncle fills for heaters. We've

1:13:07

turned back a Lancashire hot pot with a

1:13:09

sparkler. Alphabet.

1:13:11

Please. Oozo and a

1:13:13

pint of old Fumper. Dessert,

1:13:17

a piece of shame. Okay,

1:13:20

there's the menu menu. Mike,

1:13:22

what's your name? Mike. Mike,

1:13:26

what's your menu menu? AP

1:13:29

bottom of my pan with

1:13:35

the Colby

1:13:50

from my home,

1:13:52

on the vindo iconic mine.

1:13:55

We should have come imagine my bed. We do

1:13:57

that lie. Yeah, they're going to start

1:13:59

demanding that He does a strip tease. And you know what? He'd

1:14:02

do it. He'd do it. So we're lucky in a way

1:14:04

that that didn't happen. I do listen

1:14:06

to Mike's podcast, Three Bean Salad, wherever you

1:14:08

listen to your podcast. It is fantastic. And

1:14:11

it sent Elwix as well. And sent Elwix as well.

1:14:13

I think that stopped. But

1:14:15

like, go back and listen to all those episodes. I

1:14:17

do. With Three Bean Salad, I would

1:14:20

say really ration out. If you'd ever listened to it before,

1:14:22

ration it out. Because I listened to Five in

1:14:24

a Day once and my brain went really bendy.

1:14:27

Yeah, yeah. That could happen. Yeah, yeah. It's

1:14:30

a very dense podcast. There's a lot of stuff going

1:14:32

on in there. Yeah. I

1:14:34

like it. Oh, and there's not much. No, really. There's

1:14:37

a lot. It's buggy. Mike, Henry

1:14:39

and Ben. They're great

1:14:41

guys. But there's just a lot going

1:14:43

on. Yeah, yeah. With all three of them.

1:14:45

There's more beans than three. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot

1:14:47

of beans knocking around in there. Yeah, yeah. Or

1:14:50

one. Or one bean between the three of them. Yeah. Yeah.

1:14:54

Oh! Have

1:15:09

a catch yourself eating the same flavorless dinner three

1:15:11

days in a row. Dreaming of

1:15:13

something better? Well, HelloFresh is your

1:15:15

guilt-free dream come true, baby. It's

1:15:17

me, Geeky Palmer. Let's wake

1:15:19

up those taste buds with hot,

1:15:22

juicy pecan-crusted chicken or garlic butter

1:15:24

shrimp scampi. Mm. HelloFresh.

1:15:28

Stop dreaming of all the delicious

1:15:31

possibilities and dig in at hellofresh.com.

1:15:34

Let's get this dinner party started. Tired

1:15:39

of ads intruding into your favorite

1:15:41

comedy podcasts? Good news. Dive

1:15:50

into a world of laughs by

1:15:52

downloading the Amazon Music app for

1:15:54

free. Or go to amazon.com/comedy ad

1:15:56

free. That's amazon.com/comedy ad free to

1:15:58

catch up on the latest episodes

1:16:00

without the ads. on the latest episodes without the ads. Do you ever feel like

1:16:03

your brain is on overdrive and your mind

1:16:05

is constantly racing? The plans, worries, and to-do

1:16:07

lists are never ending. Calm can

1:16:09

help your mind take a break from the noise

1:16:11

by softening anxiety symptoms in the moment and helping

1:16:13

you cope with day-to-day stressors. Calm is the number

1:16:15

one app for sleep and meditation, giving you the

1:16:18

power to calm your mind and change your life.

1:16:20

For listeners of the show, Calm is

1:16:22

offering an exclusive offer of 40%

1:16:24

off a Calm Premium subscription at

1:16:27

calm.com/stressless. Go

1:16:29

to calm.com/stressless

1:16:34

for 40% off unlimited access to

1:16:36

Calm's entire library. That's

1:16:39

calm.com/stressless. Hi,

1:16:44

I'm Lucy Beaumont. And guess what?

1:16:47

I'm Sam Campbell. If you enjoy,

1:16:49

oh, there's another, there's another

1:16:51

podcast that's coming out. Oh, no, the podcast is

1:16:53

out now. Yeah. If people have enjoyed

1:16:56

Off Menu, will they enjoy

1:16:58

Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains?

1:17:00

I don't, I don't know. There's, there's

1:17:02

a bit of a crossover. We talk about maybe,

1:17:05

you know, a couple of food issues. We

1:17:07

talk about cutlery and that's near food. We

1:17:09

reckon it's out now. Not soon, it's now.

1:17:12

Is it on all the platforms? Oh,

1:17:14

it absolutely is. If you like James

1:17:16

and if you love Ed, you

1:17:18

might get a kick out of this. But yeah, again,

1:17:20

no pressure. But yeah, this one is coming. This one's

1:17:22

out now. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains. I'm

1:17:27

Sam Campbell. I'll see you next time. Bye.