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Welcome to off the vine with Kaitlyn

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Bristow. Get ready to laugh,

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connect, and feel empowered with

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Ethan and her guests as they zip

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wine, lots of wine,

0:46

and get candy. They save

0:48

vulnerability creates connection. So

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save the highlight real for Instagram because

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when we're among vinos, there's

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no

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filter. It's time to unwind.

0:58

Here's your host, Aitlyn Bristow. Welcome

1:04

to provine. I'm your host, Caitlyn Bristow.

1:06

You guys. The TikTok Kawynna

1:10

is on the pod today. You probably know her from

1:12

her hilarious videos impersonating her

1:14

mom or maybe her cute videos of her and her

1:16

daughter. It's Cat Stickler, I

1:18

swear we were sisters from different

1:20

Bristowe in another lifetime because We just

1:23

just vibe. Okay? She's a spitfire, firecracker,

1:25

a fellow, ambivert. We talk all

1:27

about her journey on TikTok and navigating

1:29

the vulnerable moments publicly. And

1:32

how resilient as hell she is. She's a biopic.

1:34

She's an inspiration to so many and you know

1:36

what? I'll say it. I love her.

1:38

She has a good confession and this has a little

1:41

something to do with it. I'm gonna say without ever

1:43

meeting her in person. I love her. And sorry

1:45

about the cliffhanger at the end. Okay? I really

1:48

blue balled you guys with my confession. You'll

1:52

see what I mean. Enjoy my conversation with the amazing

1:54

cat. Oh

2:03

my gosh. I'm having an absolute battle

2:05

with my dog right now of this,

2:08

like, in charge of this chair. Like, he

2:10

will not stop. He knows. Like,

2:12

you

2:15

know, he

2:17

just won't move off his

2:18

chair. Dude, can you get down?

2:20

You

2:21

could just leave it on there. I think it's fine.

2:23

Well, because then I need this microphone

2:25

to come here, and then he there we go. There

2:27

we go. Off off. There,

2:29

dad's

2:30

good. Oh my gosh. He's been like crazy for

2:32

the last five minutes. How are you?

2:34

I'm great. How are you? I'm

2:36

so good. Thank you so much for coming on the

2:38

pod today. Thank you for

2:40

having me. I'm so excited. Like, when I

2:42

I'm just gonna say it really quick. You

2:45

were my favoriteest favoriteest

2:48

when you were on the last year, and then last year, I'd be

2:50

like, it's so crazy.

2:52

We're here now. And I'm like, you're like, baby.

2:54

You were just it was so funny. I'm like, she's

2:56

so funny.

2:58

Yes. Oh my gosh. You

3:00

telling me I'm funny makes me

3:02

feel like maybe I am funny. You're

3:04

funny. I promise you. Yes.

3:08

I feel like you would make a

3:10

good bachelorette AF that was

3:12

ever a thing. I feel like you would be very

3:15

entertaining to watch. I You have very contagious

3:17

energy, which is really

3:19

refreshing on the old Internet. But are you

3:21

always a ball of energy? Or is it like I

3:23

feel like you're like a firecracker. Is this

3:25

you all the time? Or are you like because me,

3:27

I'm Amby Bert?

3:30

Amby Bert? Amby. Are

3:32

you really? I've never met another Amby

3:35

Bert. Someone who knew what it meant. Oh,

3:37

we I'm a fellow ambivert here. Yeah.

3:39

Like, I've I've gotta recharge a certain

3:41

way. I but I can, like, turn it on and

3:43

turn it off and it's I'm all of those

3:46

things. Yeah. You're the same way? I'm the same

3:47

way, which is kinda weird when you do, like,

3:50

TikToks daily because you have

3:52

to, like, be in tune with your, like, emotions when you turn

3:54

it

3:54

on, but then you also have to be real

3:56

at the same time. So it's like kind of balancing.

3:58

Yeah. That's true. I

4:00

I do find it's hard to be

4:03

super authentic on wanna

4:05

show you heavy

4:05

wine? No.

4:08

00I was like, I should join

4:10

you in a wine glass because it's

4:12

an energy drink. And I don't wanna

4:14

do my dishes. So

4:17

that's perfect. That's really perfect.

4:20

I will say, I I find it hard to be

4:22

super authentic when you turn on that app

4:24

or, like, an Instagram story because

4:27

I try time pride myself on being,

4:29

like, real on social media. But --

4:31

Mhmm. -- am I turning it on a little bit?

4:33

Yeah. And you're, like, trying to entertain at

4:35

the same time while still -- Yeah. -- staying

4:37

true to yourself. So that's an interesting

4:39

interesting way to look at it. So do you

4:41

like TikTok better than

4:43

Instagram? I think Instagram's nicer

4:45

than TikTok. But I do owe TikTok,

4:47

like, my success. Like, I wouldn't be right without

4:50

TikTok. So it's a weird I think

4:52

Instagram does a better job of filtering out the

4:54

bullies.

4:55

So it's nicer for me emotionally

4:58

to go on Instagram. Like, it's like it's a safe

5:00

space.

5:01

Yeah. Why is that? Do you think? Why

5:03

do you think TikTok has such a bullying

5:05

audience. I don't I

5:07

honestly don't know. I don't know if it's like if

5:09

Instagram has the same, but it's just highlighted more

5:11

on TikTok. I feel like, it's just easier

5:14

for it to pop up. For some reason,

5:16

well, Instagram's been around longer. They know how to monitor

5:18

it more, but Instagram's definitely a safer space

5:20

for me, but I have respect

5:22

for TikTok because I'm very grateful for

5:24

it. Yeah. Of course. And also you have

5:27

freaking ten million followers on TikTok,

5:29

which is bananas. So

5:31

I feel like, naturally, you're gonna get

5:33

more people saying stuff because

5:35

it's, like, ten million compared to

5:37

people.

5:38

Point. That's that's probably what it is. Yeah.

5:40

That's probably what it is. I mean, that's

5:42

gotta come with the territory of of having ten

5:44

million TikTok followers. This is so crazy.

5:46

I wanna know what a day in the life looks

5:48

like for you. Like, what when you wake

5:50

up in the

5:51

morning, what is your routine?

5:54

I really don't have one. I always wanted to

5:56

be that girl that was like, meditate

5:58

and read and go in my workout and, like, be

6:00

that perfect. I just can't do it

6:02

and I've, like, come to accept that and that's

6:04

okay. Attendance every day. Like, if I don't

6:06

have my baby, I'll do a workout class in the morning.

6:09

Yep. It depends on the order,

6:11

but my days usually consist of getting ready

6:13

to film. Sometimes it might be at twelve

6:15

o'clock at night or sometimes it might be, like, at eight in the morning,

6:17

it tends. Oh, my gosh. Trying to work out or just

6:20

be outside for a second because I'm home all

6:22

day. Sometimes AF I'm not traveling, it's like

6:24

a little cabin fever. Mhmm. And

6:26

I do just write like, I try to write

6:29

Do Skits. I I write,

6:32

like, skits, like, like, funny. Like,

6:34

I try to there's so many, like, Hispanic

6:36

mother videos that haven't come out because I just sold them.

6:38

I'm, like, no. That's not funny. I didn't hit the

6:40

comedic timing. I should have done it better. So

6:42

I, like, try to create like

6:44

that, but it's kinda hard to force

6:46

I have to be wait. I have a question. Why

6:48

in the hell would you ever start recording at midnight?

6:51

Because MT would be asleep. Like, if my baby

6:53

was asleep -- Oh, yeah. Oh,

6:55

yeah. You gotta work around her hours. I

6:58

work all around her. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

7:00

wow. Do you how many skits do

7:02

you like film a

7:03

day? I feel a lot, but I

7:05

only show, like, one or two. I'm

7:07

very, like, particular about what I show, because

7:09

I've been in, like, different phases, like, I gotta pump

7:11

out content every day. Like you said, it gets to

7:13

a point where you're

7:14

like, I don't want to. I'm not being

7:16

genuine, and I feel like people can tell that.

7:18

So Yeah. So it depends

7:20

on the day, but that's so interesting. So were

7:22

you a writer or something before TikTok

7:25

happened for

7:26

you? I

7:26

was an English major. Yeah. So I love, like,

7:29

It loves writing. I did. Oh,

7:31

interesting. So you okay.

7:33

The last couple of years have obviously been pretty

7:36

wild for you. When you first opened

7:38

the app, what were your expectations? Were you

7:40

like, I'm gonna blow up the Internet with my

7:42

humor? Like, what what did you think was gonna happen?

7:44

I wish I was that pop. Yeah. I like to say

7:46

that. I've I've done interviews where I'm, like,

7:48

I totally knew that. And then I look back to,

7:50

like, you liar. You did not know.

7:53

Stop lying. So I was

7:55

English majors, but then I I

7:57

was doing I was premed because, like, for

7:59

my parents, they have, like, they're gonna do nothing

8:01

AF you have a writer or bi. Oh, I did

8:03

that. Then in that process, I

8:05

got pregnant, then Gyno got

8:07

married, all that stuff, started TikTok,

8:10

and then AF that

8:12

point, I was a research coordinator at the hospital,

8:14

COVID hit. So I was doing this like

8:17

transcranial magnetic simulation. It's called TMS.

8:19

It's like therapy for post combat trauma

8:21

veterans. It's like if you have PTSD yeah.

8:24

It's like AF PTSD people

8:26

that cannot get better therapy can not get better

8:28

with medication, they cannot get better with anything. And

8:30

honestly, I digress, but

8:32

it usually comes down to not sleeping. But

8:34

anyways, Yeah. It was a new research study

8:36

was doing, and I loved it. And then COVID

8:38

hit. And because it was a research study, I just say

8:41

homes, I was home with a baby. And

8:43

I was just like, what do I do with my life?

8:46

Like, I don't know what to do. I was gonna, like I'm

8:48

like, I don't wanna be a doctor anymore. I'm gonna be lawyers.

8:50

So I started reading, like, law books. Oh my gosh.

8:52

And then I I'm crazy. I'm, like,

8:54

great at starting to commit and

8:55

I'm, like, bear in mind.

8:57

I mean, that's a that's a better step that I would never

8:59

open up a law book in my life. So good

9:01

for you for even what

9:02

what

9:02

were your parents? You know what? You might, though. I

9:05

needed mental stimulation being around

9:07

a kid so much. I'm like, I need to think

9:09

Like, don't That's true. All of my

9:11

friends who have kids say they get so

9:13

sick of just, like, not sick of it, I guess,

9:15

is not the right term. But, like, So

9:18

you forget how to talk to another

9:20

adult because you're talking to a child all

9:22

day?

9:24

Caitlyn, I went to a hockey game

9:26

with my friends, and I was so awkward.

9:28

Like, I was just sitting there, like, I'm

9:31

not like that. I'm like, I didn't I was I didn't

9:33

know how to start conversation. I couldn't keep a

9:34

conversation. I was like, wow. This

9:37

is rough. That It's rough. Yeah.

9:38

I heard that's a that's a real thing. Because your

9:40

parents how do they feel now that you're so successful

9:43

on TikTok? I mean, when I told my

9:45

mom, like, what I was doing, like, when I was, like,

9:47

I'm all in. She's, like, of course,

9:49

so traditional. She,

9:51

like, are you doing? Like, this is the worst idea

9:53

ever. You have to move

9:55

home with me. You're going crazy. I'm like, okay.

9:58

It's okay. But I didn't

10:00

really tell her until, like, I

10:02

don't really tell people what I'm doing until I'm actually,

10:04

like, making benefiting from it somehow,

10:06

like, it's working. So when I was starting to make

10:08

money, that's when they kind of realized. And

10:10

Yeah.

10:11

That it can be a thing. She was more okay with it.

10:13

Yeah. Like, I bought her a bag. I'm like, hey,

10:15

mom. She's like, oh, okay.

10:18

Okay.

10:19

Alright. I that's when when I'm in, like,

10:21

Uber's or someone asks me, like, oh, what

10:23

do you do? I have a hard time answering

10:25

it because I'm, like, AF I say

10:27

podcast, it always will lead into, like, well, how'd

10:30

you get there? What are the and then it's all a whole

10:32

strike. So I usually lie,

10:34

and I'll be like, 0II just, like,

10:36

get social media deals for

10:38

people. That's what I always say. When when people

10:40

if they're like, hey, what do you do?

10:42

Like, if if you're in the back of maneuver and they're

10:44

like, what do you do? How would you just scribe it. I'm I

10:47

said I was an entertainer, like,

10:50

online and I didn't hear it. I just didn't

10:52

process with, like, oh, like, wardography,

10:55

like and I was like, what?

10:58

No. Like, how dare you? And I realized

11:00

how I said it. So now I I literally

11:02

don't even know what to say when people ask me. I always,

11:04

like, scope. Oh, I do comedy on

11:06

TikTok. Yeah. Personally, my mom.

11:08

Like, I sound so weird.

11:09

Like, if you I know that's why it's I was trying

11:12

to think of what you would say because if

11:14

And I feel like as soon as you say you're a comedian,

11:16

people expect you to be funny. And

11:19

it's like then you feel like you're disappointing them

11:21

because you're like, I'm literally like in an

11:23

Uber. I'm not trying to be funny right now. I'm trying to

11:25

recharge. Do you feel like people expect you

11:28

to be funny if

11:28

they, like, meet you in person or

11:30

if you say you're a comedian?

11:33

I think so. But, like, also, I would

11:35

expect you to be funny because, like, you

11:38

were funny. Like, I saw you be funny. So I'm, like, usually,

11:40

it's gonna be funny. So I think they just kind of

11:42

drove. So maybe, like, I'm funnier

11:44

than they think. Like, maybe if they didn't know

11:46

that background, they wouldn't think I was just funny. I don't know. But,

11:48

yeah, they definitely expect it to be funny. Cape

11:51

Peloton workouts are made to work

11:53

for you. I know in the past I've definitely

11:55

tried a few workouts that were not made

11:57

to work for me. Like going to the gym and

11:59

not knowing what I'm doing, even though

12:01

I enjoy working out. I just don't know where to start

12:03

there. Or just taking a class that felt like,

12:05

you know, as foreign language, but with

12:08

Peloton, they really make everything so convenient

12:10

and accessible no matter what level you're at.

12:13

And did you know? Peloton actually makes

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12:19

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12:32

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So you can try Peloton ROW free

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members only. Not available

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13:07

locations. See additional terms at one peloton

13:10

dot comhome dash

13:12

trial.

13:18

What was your first year talking to you ever made?

13:20

It was like some prank thing. It was always

13:22

a prank. Pranks because

13:25

and I think they did so well because, like,

13:27

a lot of them are real. I was so bored. Like,

13:29

I'm, like, I need this excitement of, like,

13:32

like, doing something. No one knows. And

13:34

those were, like, how it kinda started, and then

13:36

I just kinda started opening up more. I kinda really

13:38

started blowing up I posted about, like, post

13:40

part of depression. Yeah. PPD.

13:43

And I just talked about, like, what and I did,

13:45

like, in a dance, like, here's what helped me. And

13:49

people just kinda connected to it. I'm like, oh, okay.

13:51

Only people don't talk about this. Well, let's talk about more.

13:53

They're just -- Right. -- whatever. So I

13:55

kinda just tried

13:56

everything. I did a lot. That's

13:57

do you have any videos that you're like, damn, I shouldn't

13:59

have posted that. Oh my

14:01

god. When my divorce was happening, Okay.

14:04

It's literally called somber from Mars. And

14:06

it was something that was, like, doing deals. It was

14:08

when COVID was, like, big, and they wanted me to do

14:10

a deal for a mask. Right. So I thought it was a mask. It

14:12

was has that suit?

14:14

Like, I swear -- Yeah. -- it was, like, from

14:16

here, like, an astronaut. And I was, like,

14:18

you're kidding me. I I cannot

14:21

do this. But anyways, I ended up

14:23

not doing it, but I had the suit still.

14:25

And I was, like, doing my makeup, like,

14:27

just blush here. It looked like I was somber.

14:29

And the video is called somber from Mars, and

14:31

I'm literally losing my mind in

14:33

it. I'm like, I go,

14:36

I love and

14:39

I turn around, it's like, you And then, like,

14:41

I walk forward. It's, like, bitch. I I don't even

14:43

know what I'm doing, but, like, I'm really, like,

14:45

clearly losing it slowly. I

14:47

don't know if I regret it, but, like, It's

14:49

like an online diary where you really see

14:52

what was going

14:53

on. Wait. So were you talking

14:55

about your divorce or it was when you were going

14:57

through it and so you were losing

14:58

it? It was actually the point where I didn't think

15:00

it was gonna happen yet, but then, like

15:03

because I have so many videos of what happened. Right.

15:05

And I was, like, oh, mass. Right. My video

15:07

was, like, honey, Yeah. Like, we can't

15:09

post this. We can keep it. We can look at it when

15:12

we want. Like, but everyone has to know,

15:14

like, this is so unfair. But

15:17

that was, like, leading up to it. Then and

15:19

then it all happened. And then yeah.

15:22

Even then you see me, like, processing, like, one

15:24

day I wake up in my new apartment. No

15:26

furniture. After the split.

15:28

And I'm like, hey, guys, I slept in last night's

15:30

makeup. I feel so beautiful. And

15:33

like, I was crazy. Like,

15:35

what What am I talking about? I

15:37

just got divorced and I'm

15:38

like, I have a great beauty tip and

15:41

I don't know. I was but I I

15:43

do wanna say that you did inspire people with

15:45

your resilience and and going through that and

15:47

just how you just kept going on and you're

15:49

like, just got it. And you were so raw, which

15:52

like I said, like I love seeing

15:54

people actually open up on social

15:56

media to, like, realness that's happening

15:59

and actually showing emotion. But

16:01

the public breakups are so hard. I

16:03

know because I've been through one. But,

16:05

like, you didn't know this

16:07

was gonna happen to your life it just kind of

16:09

happened and you blew up.

16:11

And then all of a sudden, you have to go through something

16:13

so vulnerable online in kind of so

16:16

many people. But how did you

16:18

how did you turn that beat around? Like, how did

16:20

you go from going through a

16:22

split online such a vulnerable

16:24

time to turning the beat around and deciding to

16:26

just, like, continue on your own and that you've got

16:28

this. That's such a good question. These are great

16:30

questions. Alright. Thanks.

16:32

Like looking deep in my soul. I

16:36

think so I'm actually a very private

16:38

person. Mhmm. I didn't even tell yeah.

16:40

I didn't tell told my immediate family,

16:43

but, like, I've seen me, like, in Venezuela and Brazil,

16:45

and I did not tell them I was getting a

16:47

divorce. I told the Internet first because

16:49

I was so like,

16:51

ashamed and I was embarrassed and it felt

16:54

safer to tell however many million people than

16:56

to actually,

16:56

like, look them in the face and say, hey, This

16:59

is what happened. So --

16:59

Yeah. -- it was so hard because

17:02

also people do want to see you vulnerable,

17:04

but -- Yep. -- that was new for me, like, filming

17:06

that, like, I had to do a video AF, like, I would I

17:08

was losing it, and I was like, you guys think I'm fine.

17:10

Like, I'm not fine. Like, I cry

17:12

every time I wake up, but I don't want this

17:14

to be about that. Like, this is just the process. It's

17:16

just healing. It's painful. It's like labor. Like, it's

17:19

a labor pain. Like, we just gotta get through it.

17:21

And I think it was very catheterics

17:24

because it helped me process my emotions

17:27

verbally and also even

17:30

having that platform kind of push me to not

17:33

go into, like, a silent depression.

17:35

Well, also my daughter did, but, like, there was, like, go do

17:37

things. Like, well, you can film it. Go do something.

17:39

So you've got like this kind

17:41

of responsibility to with

17:43

that many people following. You that you probably

17:45

wanted to help other people who could be going

17:48

through something similar And there are

17:50

so many people who go through, you know, heartbreaks

17:53

or even like having to leave

17:55

a job, having to grieve different things in their

17:57

lives that you made it relatable

17:59

to them. And you kind of

18:01

got people to be like, okay, I'm gonna be okay

18:03

too. And I can wake up in a new apartment with

18:05

no furniture, with my make on from last night and

18:07

I'm gonna be okay. Yeah. You know?

18:10

Yeah. I love that. Is is there anything

18:12

you feel like you really learned about yourself during

18:15

those hard times? Because when I always think about my rock

18:17

bottoms or, like, my going through hard times,

18:19

and I'm always like, wow, I'm resilient as

18:21

like, I I'm like, I I can do

18:24

anything. I thought about that

18:26

the other day. I'm like, I'm such a bad

18:28

bitch. Like, I've gone through the ringer. I'm

18:30

like, how am I okay right now? That's

18:32

a big deal. Because it's just a big

18:34

deal. It's so big. I was,

18:36

like, looking at all my one of the most like,

18:38

it was, like, one of the horrible things that divorce was

18:41

children, you know, is timesharing. And also,

18:43

she's a young girl. So she's like, you know,

18:45

my baby. And one time, she didn't

18:47

wanna go for an exchange

18:51

I felt like such a bad mom because she, like,

18:53

was crying and hanging on to me and

18:55

like saying, I don't want to like, she was

18:57

speaking so clearly. And I

19:00

broke down, like, immediately. Like, had my moment

19:03

broke down. It was my birthday, actually. And then

19:05

I wish you the best. I know.

19:07

Resilient. I'm okay. I swear.

19:11

So I went to the bathroom and filmed it because

19:13

I just there's so much power and vulnerability,

19:15

and I do believe it's like the root of all connection.

19:17

Like, that's how it can that's what

19:20

makes and there's something about having a platform, but

19:22

building a relationship. It just takes it

19:24

it's just a safe space, it's so much better, and

19:26

it just

19:27

like, two years ago, I would never do that.

19:29

I would never let anybody see that I

19:31

cry. That's ridiculous. No. Right.

19:33

Now I'm like, Alright. Let's make these tears

19:35

work for you. Let's talk about

19:36

it. So Let's make these

19:39

tears work. Don't waste a good cry.

19:41

Yeah.

19:42

Don't describe by yourself. Filmed,

19:44

how are you doing? You're not

19:46

alone

19:47

crying because you've got ten million people right there

19:49

with you, supporting

19:50

Exactly. That's incredible. Looking

19:52

back on that whole time, is there anything that you would

19:54

do differently? Or are you like, no, it

19:56

all has its reasons?

19:58

Yeah. I have to say it all as its reasons or in

20:00

losing my mind. I'm sure there are some things

20:02

that don't think about it.

20:04

Just denial. I

20:07

have I have regrets from certain things that I've

20:09

done or, like, looking back, I'm like, oh, I could have

20:11

done that differently. But know what? guess it is

20:13

part of the process.

20:14

Yeah. I feel like any regret, like, that I

20:16

could think of is always just choosing to

20:18

be the bigger person. Like, they go low, you go

20:20

high just choosing sounds so cheesy,

20:22

but choosing kindness feels better

20:24

at the

20:25

end, you know. I agree. I always say karma

20:28

doesn't have a deadline. So if you

20:30

you don't need to be the one that takes anyone

20:32

down, it'll just happen, like, the way

20:34

it's supposed to anyways. Yes.

20:36

So it's

20:37

yeah. It's Karma has no deadline. It's one

20:39

of my favorite things. I So agree with that. And also,

20:42

like, when you're angry and vindictive, like, in that

20:44

moment, just pissed, it sounds

20:46

like a great

20:46

idea. Like, I'm gonna post this because

20:49

unfair and I'm gonna -- Yeah. -- that Yeah.

20:52

You wanna, like, prove your point and

20:54

have people know the dresses that

20:56

you're yeah. Exactly. And then after

20:58

you're like, oh, thank god, I didn't do that in the heat at

21:00

the moment. I need to get need to get better at that.

21:02

I don't do it really on the Internet, but, like, in my

21:04

day to day, I'm like, I need to just take a

21:06

knee sometimes and be like, okay. Like,

21:09

let's revisit this when you're not so freaking

21:11

emotional. So I just want I don't

21:13

know. I wanna know a little bit more about your life before

21:15

tick to Oh, yeah. A totally different person.

21:18

So I was always volunteering at the

21:20

VA. It's so hard to get a job at the VA, which is like

21:22

a veterans hospital unless you are a veteran.

21:24

So I was just volunteering, like, crazy

21:26

other really wide than entirety. So I

21:28

know I'm just I'm amazing. And

21:31

really hard. So humble,

21:33

really amazing, just great all

21:35

around. And there was this

21:37

exoskeleton study for people who were paralyzed.

21:39

And it was literally a bodysuit, like

21:42

an iron man thing, and it helped them

21:44

walk. And I was like, this is awesome. Awesome.

21:46

Yeah. It's so it's so cool.

21:48

Because when you're, like, a part of stuff like that,

21:51

being, you know, in pain during a workout

21:53

or having a bad day is, like --

21:55

Yeah. -- put

21:55

into such perspective.

21:58

It's so much about perspective. But

22:00

after that, they hired me for this study, and

22:02

it was post combat trauma veterans. Those veterans

22:05

that just basically couldn't

22:08

heal from the trauma they had in

22:10

the military. They just couldn't heal from it, and it was

22:13

affecting their relationships, their sleep,

22:15

their health, all these things. So it was

22:18

TMS study, which is like this new innovative

22:20

thing for PTSD patients, and it's transcranial

22:23

magnetic stimulation. It's literally

22:26

It's a brain machine is what I used to call it, and

22:28

it

22:28

repairs broken neural pathways. And your neural

22:30

pathways break from trauma because it's literally

22:33

your brain trying to protect you.

22:35

So you don't have to relive

22:37

that. So it literally breaks it. So this

22:39

repairs it, and this is only

22:41

like the last resort. This is like medication

22:43

didn't work, cognitive behavioral therapy didn't

22:45

work. So it was a research study, all these different

22:48

trials. We, like, track people through a Fitbit,

22:50

like, track their sleep. They're so cool to see their sleep

22:52

progressively get better. But it's a research study, so

22:54

it was kinda hard to, like, have to tell people, yeah, you're

22:56

doing, but you knew that they weren't getting the treatment.

22:58

It was just placebo. To see if

23:00

it's actually effective or there are three groups. One

23:02

is just cognitive therapy with placebo. One

23:05

is just the cognitive

23:07

therapy with the actual thing and one is just the

23:09

OTMS. So you need,

23:11

like, three groups, control groups

23:13

to see if it's actually functional. But that's

23:15

what I did before and I loved it.

23:17

I loved it. I was also so lucky because I got

23:20

pregnant when I was at that job at its government.

23:22

So my insurance was

23:23

awesome. I'm like, wow, this is great. Yeah.

23:26

That's pretty freaking cool. Would you

23:28

ever go

23:29

back to doing that kind of work? I have

23:31

thought about that. I don't know. I don't know because

23:33

I think my gift quote unquote in that

23:35

environment was making people AF. Like,

23:37

I would always they were so sad and, like, they

23:39

they were so depressed and I just loved being

23:41

with them and, like, lifting them up and Like, when

23:43

you, like, go under that layer, they're so nice.

23:45

They were, like, the nicest people to me. Oh.

23:48

And I I feel like can do that

23:50

now on bigger scale.

23:52

But I do wanna go back and like see

23:55

my old boss and my old coworkers and

23:57

just they were so great. It was so funny because it

23:59

literally looks like such a depressing place.

24:01

It's like the beige walls and

24:03

the white tile that's that's in,

24:05

like, the DMV lighting. It's

24:07

literally the DMV. I would go in every day,

24:09

like, decorate my

24:10

dad. Like, hey, guys. So

24:12

I love it. I mean, it is cool

24:14

because if you think about it, now you are

24:17

probably helping more people than you even realize

24:19

just by making them, like, feel something.

24:22

And that's like, the the

24:24

fact you have ten million followers on TikTok

24:26

is such a testament to how relatable and

24:28

contagious your energy is, which is

24:30

just I think that's so full because you

24:33

literally have people following you for being you.

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25:42

I wanna know a little bit about the creative process

25:44

for coming up with your content. Like, do you just

25:46

have something funny come to your brain and then you

25:48

start writing it

25:49

down. Like, do you get writers blocked? Do you just

25:51

wing it? Like, what is the process like?

25:52

I wing it. I get writer's blog.

25:54

It's all the things. I think I'm very, like,

25:57

I think in images, so I

25:59

think my mother is such great content

26:01

for because she's just so --

26:02

Yeah. -- expressive and my Yeah.

26:04

Your impressions are so good.

26:06

She's I I've had a lifetime to prepare

26:08

for this role, so I feel very and

26:10

I can do it. And she's just very

26:13

expressive and she's Latin, so

26:15

it's a whole different concept. It was just kind

26:17

of easy with that. But sometimes, you know,

26:19

there's such creative block. And then there's,

26:21

like, things going on that you don't wanna

26:23

post video and people can think it insinuates or

26:26

means something else. So it's being very in tune

26:28

with, like, outside factors.

26:30

Yeah. But, yeah, the creative process

26:33

is twenty four seven. Like, my notes app

26:35

is just literally random ideas. I don't even

26:37

know than me. I'll be doing two in the morning of it. That's

26:39

a great idea. Oh, that's funny.

26:41

Yeah. It's just very very

26:43

spontaneous. Very random. I did a seminar

26:46

not a seminar. It was like a talk thing, and they

26:48

were like

26:48

talking about some of these creators plan their content

26:50

for months. Like, they plan it a month in advance. And

26:52

I'm like, oh, I don't even know what I'm gonna film

26:54

today. I don't know, but I'm gonna do something.

26:56

I'm very, like, I gotta just kinda I can't plan

26:58

it. It's gotta be in the moment. That's actually

27:01

really impressive, and you have to have

27:03

pretty, like, solid level of confidence

27:06

to just put shit out there because I like

27:08

to think I'm a pretty confident person, but I overthink

27:10

the shit out of what I post on TikTok because I'm, like,

27:13

I'll probably be stupid. And then I'll sometimes post

27:15

the stupidest thing. We'll get the most, like,

27:17

views or comments. And I'm like, oh, what?

27:20

It's it's just but you have to have, like,

27:22

that level of confidence to

27:24

be, like, you know what? This is funny. I'm putting it out

27:26

there. Yes. And, like, you have to,

27:28

like, be okay with some people not thinking it's funny.

27:30

That's

27:31

true. You know? That's true. You've got

27:33

a lot eyeballs on your on your shit

27:35

there. How old is your daughter? Three.

27:39

She's three. Oh my gosh. That's such a fun

27:41

age. I love your relationship with her. It's

27:43

sweet as

27:43

hell. And you seem like such

27:45

a great mom. Does she understand what TikTok

27:48

is? I don't think she does, but she

27:50

has a little fake phone when we got from Target

27:52

and it's like a princess phone. Yeah.

27:55

And she like, she'll use my tripods

27:57

and push and take phone on it. Yeah.

28:00

And she'll be, like, cooking or

28:03

cooking make your cereal and, like, talking

28:05

and gibberish to the fake phone. It's

28:07

so cute. But I'm, like, that's good.

28:09

Like, I don't know. I don't Well,

28:11

hey. If you're doing something that you

28:14

love and that makes you happy and that you it's

28:16

like, you know, you're a success. So it's

28:18

you're inspiring her in different ways and

28:20

it's I don't know. I love

28:22

it. think it's adorable. It was cute. Yeah.

28:24

What is your favorite thing to do with her? I

28:26

just love snuggling and watching a movie that we

28:28

both enjoy. There's like, she just snuggles

28:30

up with you and I love She's just

28:32

such a snuggler. I just I could be so content

28:35

for hours and I wouldn't move. And nothing in the world

28:37

ever makes me feel like

28:38

that. Like,

28:39

not even a man. Like, I'm just like, no. When

28:41

when I'm with her, I'm like, I could be here forever.

28:43

I don't feel like I'm wasting time or

28:45

losing, like, things I could be doing. I'm just very it's

28:47

like a meditative state. I'm just very present

28:49

and it's so nice. It's my favorite. Okay.

28:51

Well, that made it an easy transition

28:53

for me. Speaking of men and

28:55

and a a man not making you feel like that,

28:57

are you dating anyone right now? I

29:00

am dating. It's

29:02

fun. Oh, amazing.

29:04

I you posted a TikTok a while ago of a

29:06

random arm. Which I love when you

29:08

do that. It tease it tease everybody

29:10

by not showing faces like some guy's arm.

29:13

Oh, that's fun. It just like dating in

29:15

general or dating one specific

29:16

person.

29:17

I am now dating one specific

29:19

person. Oh, cute. And

29:21

so how long do you date someone

29:23

before you introduce them to your

29:25

audience? Honestly, I don't know what I'm gonna

29:27

introduce. I don't know if I'll ever. I was

29:29

like, hey, guys. I'm a gauge. Yeah.

29:31

So this guy, you've never met. That's where we've

29:33

been together for a while. Yeah.

29:36

No. I just I'm kinda worried

29:38

just because obvious reasons.

29:41

But, yeah, I have to, like, sometimes, like,

29:43

a control. So I think whenever I'm

29:46

very, like, if it feels

29:48

right, it's gonna be right. So I think when I

29:50

feel it'll be

29:51

right, I'll close something. I'm just waiting for that

29:53

moment. Yeah. I think that's I think that's

29:55

good. You just have to listen to what

29:58

you're feeling and not what the pressure of what

30:00

everybody else, you know, things that you

30:02

should be doing. But do you get recognized

30:05

out in public? Because so many

30:07

people follow

30:07

you, do you get recognized? And then are you worried

30:09

that people will, like, out you on the

30:11

Internet? Help me.

30:14

Like, something like I found I found the

30:17

the guy. They've done that. They have done

30:19

that. They showed us before, like,

30:21

Yeah. They do that. But I'm

30:23

it's fine. But, yes, I can Okay. When when

30:25

I go out, which is rare, unless I'm, like,

30:28

shopping. But

30:31

that they they do realize. And they, like,

30:33

they're,

30:33

like, oh, so you're the guy. They're the arm. Like, I

30:35

saw your arm in the last video.

30:38

That's hilarious. Yeah.

30:40

How do you meet do you meet, like, other

30:42

Stickler? Like, is he a tick Tucker or maybe we

30:44

don't even have to say

30:45

that. Like, how did you guys meet not? Like, he's

30:47

not even, like, doesn't no.

30:49

He doesn't do social

30:51

music. This is great. I'm like, great. Great. Yeah.

30:53

That's because I I was wondering if you

30:55

had any, like, non negotiables moving forward

30:57

after or, you know, going through a public

30:59

breakup and going through that kind of relationship and

31:02

having a daughter, are you like, I have a nonnegotiable

31:04

list and he cannot be a TikTok.

31:06

God. Maybe it is. And I just didn't know

31:08

subconsciously enough. So, yes. Because

31:11

even when, like, TikTokers would be like, hey, like,

31:13

we should, like, you know, like, hang out or something

31:15

like, no. That's a horrible idea.

31:19

There you go. There you that's a non negotiable for

31:21

you.

31:21

Yes. It is. I didn't realize. That's

31:24

fine. I I actually make, like, a physical So

31:27

you can can That's fine if you want.

31:29

Yeah. Yeah. You also said because

31:32

you said you watched Bachelorette. Okay.

31:34

Would you would you ever go on? If pre

31:37

pre boyfriend, I know you're dating now, but would

31:39

you have ever gone on the show you're asked?

31:42

Hey.

31:42

What's, like, some rumor about me, like because,

31:44

like, people from the Bachelor, yeah, reached

31:46

out, and it was so, like,

31:49

It was very post divorce. It was very fresh.

31:51

Yeah. Like the whole idea. And I just

31:54

I don't know. I don't think I would just because

31:57

the idea of giving someone else the power

31:59

on how they could portray

32:00

me, like, freaked me out. Yeah.

32:02

Yeah. So I think I just wanna watch

32:05

it's interesting that you would think like that

32:07

because I didn't. I like,

32:09

looking back, I'm glad I was so

32:11

naive to all of that before because

32:13

it worked out for me, well, to

32:15

some extent, but, like, I I didn't

32:17

think that way at all. And now looking back,

32:20

if people ask me, advice

32:22

for, like, if they were to go on the show, that's that's

32:24

kinda what I would say is you gotta have really

32:26

thick skin and know that they can portray you

32:28

in any way that they want.

32:31

Even if you are the most solid human being

32:33

on the planet, they can make you look

32:35

like the worst. And that's terrifying,

32:37

especially because I mean, now you've already built

32:39

this platform for yourself and you

32:42

can have creative control

32:44

over everything you do and say and, like, you can

32:46

just be you. So it would be a little

32:48

scary to do that. But I

32:50

ask everyone this question AF they are

32:52

a fan of the

32:52

show. What would your limo entrance

32:54

be? I'm like, hey, do you see my

32:57

videos? Maybe I can go and dress like my mom.

32:59

Like, they feel like this girl's

33:01

a

33:01

break. They sat up to break. That'd

33:04

be funny AF you did your because then

33:06

it would be like a setup for you talking about

33:08

how you do skits and how you have a sense of

33:10

humor and how this is your this is

33:13

your bit that you do about your

33:14

mom. That would be funny. Yeah. Probably go and

33:16

his my mom little

33:17

turtleneck action. Yeah. I

33:20

would do that. So many girls, you

33:22

know, they're wearing the cocktail dresses and, like,

33:24

trying to, like, look their best out. You just go in,

33:26

like, that that would, like, speak volumes

33:28

of your confidence. You're, like, Yeah. This guy's gonna

33:30

bore all the feet.

33:32

First impression rose. Right?

33:35

I would. That's those high thought

33:38

process going in. was like, I just gotta say,

33:40

like, a really dirty joke right off

33:42

the bat so that

33:43

You did do a dirty joke because your first

33:45

one -- Yeah. -- and they edited it so

33:47

that it looked funny because he actually

33:49

laughed a lot and he was like, that's funny.

33:51

I was talking to him about fishing.

33:53

They obviously wouldn't show that. That was boring.

33:55

And then they showed that when I said my dirty

33:58

joke. So they edited it in and make it look like

34:00

he didn't

34:00

actually laugh at my jokes. And I was

34:02

like, dude,

34:03

that was funny. He was so annoyed. I would hate

34:05

that. Oh, I know. There's so much

34:07

stuff that they copy and paste

34:09

whatever. I I wanna tell everyone, like,

34:11

hey. He laughed. I'm

34:13

I'm I know. I did. So

34:15

when I first came off, this it wasn't

34:18

Instagram stories weren't a thing yet. It

34:20

was more Snapchat was a big thing.

34:22

I I always loved having the Snapchat

34:24

because I could do the Snapchat with my

34:26

eighty. I I loved

34:29

it that I could have my own voice

34:31

after the show and be like, okay. So this

34:33

happened on this but here's what really happened.

34:35

I started getting in trouble for that, but whatever.

34:37

I also I also make

34:39

everybody confess to me on the podcast.

34:41

So live on endurance and a confession. Well,

34:44

this is I feel like you share so much everybody, but

34:46

do you have an embarrassing story or a confession you wanna

34:48

share with

34:48

everyone, with the class? Yeah. I

34:50

do, Ashley. I

34:59

had just broken up with my first boyfriend. We were like,

35:01

oh, not for so long. It was my only one I'd ever

35:03

been with. So I was used to, like, having sex

35:05

with people I love, because I only had sex with one person

35:07

and I love bread. So then it was, like, kind

35:09

of,

35:09

like, I started I was, like, at this guy's apartment,

35:12

like, we were making out. We didn't have sex.

35:14

But -- Yeah. -- we were laying on the bed and he

35:16

was making out with me. And I

35:18

said I love you. Like, I don't know

35:20

his last name, but I was like, I told

35:23

him I loved him because I'm so used to saying

35:25

that during intercourse. I'm just like, when

35:27

you say it as a good. I'm like, no,

35:29

I don't love you. I don't even like you that much.

35:31

I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that.

35:34

I remember feeling like, just

35:36

idiot. I'm understanding. I'm in love with him.

35:38

After just meeting him at a

35:39

bar, like, this is so embarrassing.

35:42

I

35:42

will put you back pedals so hard. You're

35:44

like, actually, I don't even really like you.

35:47

I actually think you're the worst, and I'm gonna leave.

35:49

I don't even like you at all.

35:51

I don't wanna be here. So I'm gonna

35:53

exit the scene, and then I'm gonna talk talk

35:55

about this later. This is a

35:57

great contact. Yeah. This

35:59

is great content. That's funny. Did you do a

36:01

TikTok on

36:02

that? Because that's funny. No. This

36:04

was pre TikTok. So this was, like,

36:06

just me. TikTok. That was

36:08

a great confession. I also like to play games on

36:10

this podcast. So we're just gonna I

36:12

mean, it's not a real game. It's just How cute.

36:14

-- it's just like your favorite things.

36:17

So just so we get to get to know you

36:19

a little bit

36:19

better. Who's your favorite actor or actress? Actress

36:22

would probably be by Olin Davis.

36:24

I think she's phenomenal. And then Yep.

36:27

-- actor, Edward Pasquale

36:29

is probably my favorite actor.

36:31

Oh, the guy from the last of us.

36:32

Do you watch that

36:33

show? Yeah. He

36:34

is Daddy. Daddy's ever

36:37

you wanna come. Daddy, I love

36:39

him from the beginning. And he's finally gained

36:41

his

36:41

fame. I'm like, yes. Finally, I

36:43

knew it. Oh my gosh. Wait.

36:45

What else is he from? He does Spanish

36:47

stuff. So he mostly does, like, Spanish

36:49

shot at movies, and he was, like, playing whole Spanish

36:52

role, but he was always he did this

36:54

one. He's, like, dressed some suit. It was like,

36:56

was it a James Bond one? Some kind

36:58

of superhero wand or he has like

37:00

a country accent. He was just hot and I was

37:02

like,

37:03

Yeah. remember that. That's I yeah.

37:05

I have, like, a bit of a crush on him. Okay.

37:07

Favorite Sunday

37:08

activity. I feel like I should say church.

37:11

Really? No.

37:15

No. No. No.

37:18

Favorite Sunday activity. I

37:20

love

37:21

going shopping on Sundays. Like, I love

37:23

getting makeup on Sunday. I like starting

37:25

my day off

37:26

with, like, a new, like, oh, this is a new eyeshadow.

37:28

This is a new top. Like -- Yeah.

37:31

I like I like, like, restarts and

37:33

I love buying planners especially on Sundays

37:36

because I'm, like, I have, like,

37:38

thirty planners because I start for, like, a week

37:40

and, like, It's not like I need a new

37:42

one. Yeah. It's the planners

37:44

fault. Not mine. It's definitely the planner.

37:46

I just need to find the right one. What's

37:49

your favorite TikTok trend? Okay.

37:52

I don't know. It's like

37:55

a banana It's from

37:57

a show. I don't know the show, but a banana's on the

37:59

laptop. I'm sure you've seen it. A banana's

38:01

typing. You have a problem. It's

38:04

so popular. And then

38:06

some guy some blue person opens

38:09

the door, like, a blue character opens

38:11

the door and, like, the bananas, like, googling

38:13

something and, like, looks

38:15

back and the guy goes, oh, and he, like, closes the

38:17

door and NASA. And it's, like, my

38:20

boyfriend AF we've gotten in a fight

38:22

and the bananas googling, like, ways kill

38:24

somebody or something? Like, I think

38:26

she really not seen this.

38:28

Stop. I don't know how to describe it.

38:31

Well, now that you've said it, my phone has listened

38:33

and I'm probably gonna

38:34

go as soon as I pull up -- Yeah. -- the

38:36

the app. Yeah. Okay.

38:39

What is your favorite TV show right

38:41

now? The last of us. I'm

38:43

obsessed.

38:43

Yeah. Are you caught up?

38:45

I'm caught up. Are you caught up with yesterday's episode?

38:47

I didn't get yesterday's. I you

38:49

know what I did? This is actually

38:52

maybe this is my confession. It's not that good.

38:54

But I wanted

38:56

to do sports betting.

39:00

That's like so not me, but Jason does it all

39:02

the time. And so Jason was

39:04

like, hey. If you get this app,

39:07

you actually can put, like, a

39:09

certain amount of money down that they're doing this

39:11

deal where if you win,

39:13

you win. If you lose, you get your money back. And

39:15

I was and he's like, it's for first time joiners.

39:18

And I was like, oh, I'm doing that. And

39:21

so I definitely I

39:23

went all in and I put everything

39:25

on the Eagles winning the Super Bowl. And

39:28

Then what? And

39:32

then what happened? Okay.

39:36

Well, Caitlin's power went

39:38

out, so I guess we'll never know what happened

39:40

with her sport. I'm gonna

39:42

close this podcast because I

39:44

don't know what else to do

39:46

because she's

39:46

gone. So

39:48

thank you so much for joining us.

39:51

I had the best time. Caitlyn's

39:53

the best. This was

39:55

such a fun podcast. You guys

39:57

gotta tune in, you know,

40:00

next week for the next

40:02

one. Because I'm sure it'll be

40:04

great. Yeah.

40:07

So I'm gonna hop off fun

40:09

little People should have podcasts

40:12

where the guest just closes it because they

40:14

just won't know what to do. You'll really see what they're

40:16

like. I don't know what to do, but

40:18

she's great. Out a

40:19

minute. I would get up and go, but there's

40:22

a camera. I guess you don't really see the camera. I wearing

40:24

side pants. I digress. I'm done so

40:26

nice. Podcasting with Caitlyn.

40:29

Happy whatever day this year is.

40:31

I'm

40:32

Caitlyn Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.

40:37

Thanks for listening to this week's episode

40:40

of AF The Vine. Don't forget

40:42

to rate, review, and follow on your

40:44

favorite podcast platform. And

40:46

we'll see you next Tuesday. All

40:53

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