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Welcome to off the vine

0:19

with Kaitlyn Bristow. Get

0:21

ready to laugh, connect, and feel

0:23

in powered with Ethan and her guests

0:26

as they sip wine, lots

0:28

of wine, and get candy.

0:31

They save vulnerability creates connection.

0:33

So save the highlight reel for Instagram because

0:36

when we're among Vinyls, there's

0:38

no filter. It's time to

0:40

unwind. Here's your host, England

0:43

Bristow.

0:48

Okay. We got the BOSS six

0:50

back on the pod. We decided to do a little podcast

0:52

swap a runny, so we are just coming off

0:54

of their podcast, skinny, confidential. him

0:57

and her where literally nothing is off limits,

0:59

which we know I love. You would think that

1:01

after podcasting for an hour, we would just run

1:03

out of things to talk about, but nope, not us. we could

1:05

go on for days, which is probably why we're all podcast

1:08

host. But they have a lot to update us

1:10

on since the last time they were on off the vine.

1:12

They had not won. but two kids,

1:14

and it hasn't been easy to say the least. So

1:16

we just talk about all things parenting and

1:18

relationships. It's it's really good conversation.

1:21

enjoy my conversation with the lovely

1:23

Lauren and Michael.

1:28

And having a boy is very different than having

1:30

a girl in my opinion. Tell me why.

1:32

A girl is just for my experience

1:35

is got a sweet spot for her father.

1:37

The boy is, like, a little more tender with the

1:39

mom.

1:39

Yeah. Like, looks at me, I could do anything,

1:42

and he just stares at me. Like, I'm, like,

1:44

the greatest thing in the world. The girl's

1:46

a little more our girl's a little more sassy.

1:49

Yeah, independent.

1:50

I've heard that boys are, well, I guess,

1:52

I was so much of a dad's girl when I was little,

1:55

I still am. Actually, my dad's here in Austin with me right

1:57

now. So you're looking to touch Nice to hear you now. Yeah.

1:59

No. See, she can't even

1:59

talk about your time. You're cheering up. sorry.

2:02

No. See? See? Yeah. It's

2:04

true.

2:05

think it's because it's like the first

2:07

man in your life. Yeah.

2:08

My son is a ham.

2:10

really? The same

2:11

thing for a boy. Right? It's like the first woman in Europe.

2:13

Yeah. It's true. There must be something too that I

2:15

mean, at least in our experience. And how did

2:17

you come up with their names? I love

2:19

a story behind the name. Zaza,

2:22

I was in love forever.

2:25

Oh, yes. But I pronounce everything

2:27

wrong. So for years, I was, like, I love

2:29

Zaza Gabor. I love Zaza Gabor telling

2:31

everyone, like, I read every single biography

2:34

on her. I'm just, like, obsessed. She wrote this

2:36

book, like, how to catch a man, how to

2:38

keep a man, and how to leave a man. Like, I just

2:40

love your energy and it was so avant

2:42

garde for that generation. to

2:44

be such a ball buster. She's seven husbands.

2:47

She took money from each one. She's just,

2:49

like, very, like And not

2:50

like dopey husband either. Like, she she was No.

2:52

She wasn't. She was like She

2:54

was Hilton, I think, was one of our own

2:56

snacks. We're going big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

2:58

she was just fabulous and unapologetically herself.

3:00

And so I kept saying this name. And

3:02

finally, one day, Michael's, like, it's Shasha. And

3:05

I was, like, oh my god. Our daughter's name,

3:07

Zaza, because Zaza's a little hard to pronounce.

3:09

So you gotta make it easy on the consumer.

3:11

Well, no. Because she loved the name, Zaza, and I

3:13

was like, okay. Well, if you wanna spell it Zaza,

3:15

it's not let's like, Josh Jacob wrote ZSAZSN

3:18

She's saying, and I was like, you can't spell it that way because if

3:20

you because if you because we can't

3:21

just spell way. Yeah.

3:22

can't change the English language,

3:24

you know what I mean? So

3:25

I love it. Thank you. So

3:27

cute and it somehow suits her and

3:30

I just I love different names.

3:32

So do I I like different names, but I

3:35

like them to be simple so they can pronounce

3:37

them. Yes. And there's no confusion of what

3:39

it is. Yes. Those are my benchmarks. Yeah.

3:41

accept people at Starbucks are gonna make it,

3:43

like, like, like, spell it somehow not text.

3:46

Yeah. Something. Yeah. That'll be crazy. Yeah.

3:48

And then towns was after towns fan's

3:50

aunt. who we a huge fans of

3:52

Townsend, Ant. And I don't know

3:54

that name, just like, it's it's cool.

3:56

It fit. I like a short

3:58

story. is like so, like, extra.

3:59

It's out there. So we just make it

4:02

simple and strong and masculine, you

4:04

know. Do you think names

4:06

have

4:06

anything to do with how their personality is

4:09

built? Like, I feel like Zaza

4:11

has to be sassy.

4:13

I think she has to be sassy. Yeah. Yeah. I think

4:15

it's it's gonna be on brands.

4:16

You're gonna be sassy. If only the reason

4:18

that other people that like,

4:20

use the names, like, feel that way that it

4:22

might put that kind of energy into the

4:24

the child. Yeah. But then I don't know my mom naming

4:27

Michael Joseph the most Catholic. I will get

4:29

I'll meet that in, like

4:30

Hey, my dad's name is Michael. It's

4:32

a great name, but it's like Don't talk to Michael.

4:34

There's a lot of Michael's. No.

4:35

Listen, I'm fine. I think our parents

4:37

could've all gotten at this table. They could have

4:39

gotten a little more creative. Why don't you

4:41

talk shit with my data? CLEO is

4:43

creative. Yeah. CLEO is the most

4:45

creative. And her last name is Deliave. Yeah.

4:47

Okay. Well, Cleo got lucky. It is

4:49

beautiful. Yeah. Caitlyn Dawn.

4:52

don't mind Caitlin. Caitlin

4:54

Don. Let's change our name

4:56

like midway. Okay. Like, that would be

4:58

fine. I think my

4:59

mom wanted me to go into the church or something. Yeah.

5:01

It sounds like mom's disappointment. Michael

5:04

Joseph. Yeah.

5:05

Christ. That's

5:08

it. Michael Joseph Christ is what I think she was

5:10

trying to go. You got

5:11

a great last name, though, so it makes up for

5:13

it. It is a good good. Good. It's a good

5:15

last name. And now you had Zaza right

5:17

before twenty twenty. We had

5:19

her right when the pandemic hit. Yes.

5:21

Right before. And what struggles

5:23

did that bring in for you too? I

5:26

had a lot of struggles because I had postpartum

5:28

depression -- Yeah. -- which is like a whole situation.

5:31

Yeah. But also there was a lot of pros

5:33

that came out of it. Yeah. my husband got

5:35

to see every space. He that he wouldn't

5:37

have seen because he would have been at work. True. I went

5:39

back to work two weeks. So she was born in January.

5:42

Yeah. I went back to work two weeks later in the pandemic

5:44

and then I Came

5:44

Then you're home. Yeah. I'm home.

5:46

But the struggles was, you know,

5:48

you're isolated. Yeah. And

5:51

new parents your new parents, people

5:53

weren't really coming and seeing her like

5:55

they would if it wasn't a pandemic, but

5:57

that's also a good thing in a lot of ways. Yeah.

5:59

So there's good that came out of it, but the postpartum

6:02

depression was so bad. Did you realize,

6:04

like, I can't compare it to postpartum because I've

6:06

never had it. But sometimes when I'm in the depression,

6:08

I cannot admit that's what it is.

6:11

And I'm like, no. It's just like it up. But

6:13

it's clockwork. I look at my phone and I go, oh,

6:15

yeah. It's hormonal. Did you know

6:17

when you were in the postpartum depression that that's what

6:19

it was? Were you like, I am fully having

6:21

postpartum depression? Or were you confused?

6:23

Like, why do I feel this way? I thought I felt anxious,

6:26

but looking back, being outside, looking

6:28

in, it was a hundred percent depression.

6:30

Yeah. Like, not not I was having

6:33

intrusive thoughts. Yeah. that I would never

6:35

have had before having her.

6:37

I I was, like, just

6:40

so, like almost like there was a fog

6:42

over your eyes. And the problem

6:44

is is then you have to, like, take care and show

6:46

up for a little baby. Mhmm. And

6:49

it's it's really hard to navigate.

6:52

I don't think it's talked about enough, and

6:54

I think a lot of people experience it.

6:57

And I had it for like six months. I mean,

6:59

It

6:59

was brutal. We talked about it a lot

7:01

since then, but also I was ignorant

7:03

to what postpartum, like, I tend to do a lot of

7:06

education because -- Yeah. -- because the whole thing. But we went

7:08

through it. Yeah. And I didn't know. So I'm like,

7:10

you're used to dealing with your wife and your

7:12

partner a certain way with a certain personality for

7:14

so I mean, Lauren and I know each other since twelve years old. So

7:16

I was like, who the hell is this person? What's going

7:18

on? And also because I was ignorant

7:20

to what it was, I was like, hey, we just had, like,

7:22

the greatest thing in world that happened to us. Why

7:24

are you -- Yeah. acting like this. And so

7:27

I didn't handle it well either

7:29

because I didn't know how to. Right? I was and I was

7:31

just, like, why aren't you showing up the way that you usually

7:34

show up.

7:34

Right. It's confusing and I

7:36

don't wanna label this as a man thing, but

7:38

I feel like when women are

7:41

like hurting emotionally or physically

7:43

like you want to step in and help.

7:45

And when you don't know how and you feel helpless,

7:48

instead, I feel like men get frustrated

7:51

almost with themselves that you can't do anything.

7:53

But what did you learn? Yeah.

7:56

What did you learn? Well,

7:58

I've

7:59

learned a lot

7:59

of things, sir, but I I think the biggest

8:02

on the biggest thing is men don't realize

8:04

it. How real this thing Right? Yeah. So you don't

8:06

you don't realize, like, her mind at the time was

8:08

completely altered. Like, she was in a very depressed

8:10

day almost dissociative. She didn't you know,

8:12

like, even when we talk about it,

8:14

today, there's things that she doesn't remember

8:16

about the early days of her daughter's life. And it's not that

8:18

because she wasn't present. She was there the whole time, but

8:20

she was she was in this fog. And so,

8:23

you know, to your point, I'm sitting there being like, hey,

8:25

fix this. Like, let's go work out. Let's

8:27

do all the things. But you don't realize that this

8:29

is very real experience that she's going through.

8:31

And so I think the frustration for me

8:33

was that I didn't have any of

8:35

the tools to solve it. And then, again, we're going through

8:37

a pandemic, the world's like, you know, you're all

8:39

that's going on. And so we're just like, what

8:41

is happening.

8:42

Yeah. I also there was, like, little elements.

8:44

Like, I got a horrible rash all

8:46

over my face that was, like, the worst rash you've

8:49

ever seen because you're more sensitive after you

8:51

gave birth. Mhmm. And then

8:53

also, I didn't have my mom there. So that

8:55

was another element. I was super hormonal.

8:58

the intrusive thoughts. And then I also definitely

9:00

had an element of disassociation where

9:03

it was almost like I

9:05

was

9:06

detached from the real world. It

9:08

was almost like dreamlike. It was

9:10

very Like, out of body experience where

9:12

you feel like you, like, I know this

9:14

is all happening right now, but I don't feel like

9:16

I'm present. Hundred percent. Like, I

9:18

would be talking you on on a mic and I

9:20

wasn't like, there. Yeah. It

9:22

was very weird and the thing

9:24

that got me out of it was mushrooms.

9:27

Yeah. Snapped me out of it. Uh-huh. I

9:29

did it three times in a row, not recommending

9:31

this. Okay. But I haven't heard this

9:34

that microdosing can definitely

9:36

help with that.

9:37

I think I'm not like a big crier.

9:39

I'm not

9:40

and not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just not.

9:42

Yeah. So I think the mushrooms was like

9:44

a breakthrough from

9:45

We can help, like, connect the pathways a little

9:47

bit. Yeah.

9:47

And it's it made me, like, understand

9:49

why I was feeling this way, and that honestly is

9:52

what kick started me getting out of it. And now

9:54

looking back, I was, like, Oh my

9:56

god. I was so depressed. And I didn't

9:58

even know, like you said, didn't know it was depression

10:00

when I was innocent. Yeah. So

10:02

It was a lot.

10:03

I'm careful to say what I've learned on this

10:05

because I don't wanna come off as incented, but

10:07

I think if she was gonna go through it again second

10:09

time, I wouldn't help her work through it a little bit more.

10:11

be a little bit more patient. Listen little bit more.

10:13

Right? Like, I now that I understand the mechanism

10:15

a little bit more about why it happens, understand that it can

10:17

be temporary in some cases and that,

10:19

you know, there's things you can do. Well, there's just didn't

10:22

like, god. I didn't know the first time. I was just like,

10:24

found. It'd be like, you know, if,

10:26

you know, we know each other for so long, and then all of a

10:28

sudden, you show up as a completely different person one day.

10:30

Right? happened here.

10:31

Yeah. It's what's scary for everybody. I

10:33

feel like it would be scary for you to

10:36

be like whose body am I in and

10:38

what's happening and why do I feel this way? it's

10:40

a lot. And I think there needs to be, like, a

10:42

warning label of postpartum. I

10:45

thought you have the baby and then it's you

10:47

you're, like, you're through the finish line and that's

10:49

not how it works. And now I have

10:51

so many tools that have helped me. And if anyone

10:53

is struggling, if they're in pregnancy

10:56

they're worried they're going to get it, I

10:58

would recommend weight lifting that

11:00

has really helped with my serotonin.

11:02

I did not do that with my first baby.

11:05

Cold plunging after six weeks has

11:08

balanced my hormones more than Really?

11:10

I cannot even tell you I get in that

11:13

cold punch for two minutes and I get out and

11:15

I can feel my

11:16

hormones balancing. because it

11:17

works on the parasympathetic. I

11:18

would also recommend getting your thyroid

11:21

tested, but not like just a not

11:23

like basic thyroid, like, testable

11:25

levels. Yeah. And so I found out I

11:28

had hypothyroid, so I couldn't

11:30

lose weight the first baby. And once I found

11:32

that out, I could lose weight, which helps

11:34

just getting the weight off helps. Yeah.

11:36

And I definitely recommend, like, moving,

11:39

not being behind the screen a lot. Like, you

11:41

there's a lot of tools that I have in my

11:43

toolbox now that didn't have with

11:45

Saza. Proper

11:46

diet, proper supplementation?

11:47

I'm eating so much protein now. I was eating

11:50

no protein. really Just like a lot

11:52

of different things and I have not had

11:54

anything. That's incredible. Yeah.

11:57

It's and maybe it's the difference between a

11:59

boy and a girl. don't know. Well, I it sounds

12:01

like you're like you said, you have all the tools

12:03

and you're doing it different this time, and that

12:05

that's definitely helped. The cold plunge, that makes

12:07

sense, but I would have never thought about that.

12:09

the cold plunge works so much

12:12

on your parasympathetic. And I think

12:14

you're when you have a baby, you're so in

12:16

fight or flight, and your nervous system is soaked

12:18

up. Yeah. that to get freezing

12:21

cold and change your mental state and your physical

12:23

state, it's I cannot say enough

12:25

good things about this

12:26

cold plunge. Okay. I feel like you and Jason

12:28

would like it.

12:28

I well, I've done a cold plunge

12:31

like like an ice bath. That's

12:33

a nice idea. Yeah. Oh, and I

12:35

freaking loved it. Yeah. It's amazing. I have, like,

12:37

got in there and was like, This

12:39

is hell, and then after I was like, I

12:40

could do anything. I know you're like

12:42

like, let me blow you with one arm. Let

12:45

me cook dinner with the other. Let me

12:47

take care of the kids with my toe. yeah. Let

12:49

me, like, write a paper with my other toe. Yeah. I

12:51

feel like you're literally on crap. Actually,

12:53

yeah. You're right. And then Michael, what did what would

12:55

you suggest for husbands or

12:58

partners out there if their

13:00

partners

13:00

going through that. Shut up about that. Let's see if

13:02

we got to shut up from run away. Take

13:06

your mouth shut. I think, again, my biggest

13:08

issue in blind spot was probably

13:10

one just

13:11

trying to fix it and like hammer hammer

13:13

the issue away. Right? I think a lot of men do that. Yeah.

13:15

And I had no understanding of what

13:17

postpartum depression

13:18

and anxiety was. So, like, since then, I mean,

13:20

luckily, one of benefits of doing our show was we had

13:23

talk to all these people and experts and, like,

13:25

you know, doctors that are

13:26

in this field. So I've learned a lot since then, but

13:28

I think the the first step is, like, understanding

13:30

and acknowledging what it is. Yeah.

13:32

because if you don't know, you're just like what the fuck

13:34

is going on. Yeah. Do a little research.

13:36

Yeah. Do your homework. There's a lot of stuff we don't know about

13:38

women, but, you know, if you're gonna have a child

13:40

with someone, I think they at least understand, like,

13:43

what can happen. There's this

13:44

book called, like, the fourth trimester or

13:46

something and it really is the fourth trimester.

13:48

There's so many things you have to do. You have to just

13:50

lower your cortisol and take it easy

13:53

on yourself. Yeah. It's brutal.

13:55

Not to scare anyone but No. Scare me. I

13:57

want, like, just being honest. Well, that's the thing.

13:59

We always say when it comes to postpartum

14:01

or, you know, struggles with getting pregnant

14:04

or everything that people don't

14:06

talk about. I'm like, talk about it

14:08

because that's, you know, That's the power of having

14:10

your voice now. Because you or the

14:12

first one, I forgot to ask you this on our

14:14

podcast, you are one of the first ones to come

14:16

out and say you froze your ex. Yes. I

14:19

forgot about that. Yes. Which isn't dead. Credible.

14:22

What now there's so many people talking about

14:24

it. Yeah. I'm so happy I did it. I feel

14:26

like I got a lot of backlash actually

14:28

for doing that at the time because people didn't

14:30

understand it and a lot of people were like

14:32

stop shoving it in our faces that you have

14:35

eggs that can be fertile and But

14:37

I was like, no, I'm doing this because,

14:39

like, what happens if I get cancer? What happens

14:41

if something happens to me? And I'm just

14:43

like, you know, I wanna have kids down the road.

14:45

It's not me just being like, hey, look at

14:47

me. I'm furtled, Myrtle over here. Like,

14:49

I got all the eggs and you don't. No. I'm like,

14:52

I was encouraging women who could do it to

14:54

do it because didn't know was in a relationship

14:56

that I met this person on

14:58

TV and I didn't it was rocky and I was

15:00

like, I I would like to freeze my eggs. I would

15:02

like to have a backup plan. And even now, I'm

15:04

like, holy shit. I got I did that. I'm thirty seven.

15:07

And I don't know when I'm gonna be having

15:09

babies like I want So I'm

15:11

so glad I did it. Did you freeze your eggs?

15:14

I have not, but it's something that I

15:16

definitely want to explore. So do you want

15:18

more kids? I don't know. Okay. The next

15:20

four months is, like, a little like,

15:23

I have to, like, get over the hump. Yeah. Let's

15:25

see what happens. Yeah. Michael's, like, ready

15:27

right now. But Really? Well, I mean,

15:29

listen. Granted again

15:32

again, like, it's not

15:34

nearly as much work for us. Right? And so, like,

15:36

Like, I I you know, I am following

15:38

her lead, but I love

15:39

voices. It's not nearly as much work

15:41

for us. Oh, you don't know. And I'm talking about,

15:43

like, okay. But you're saying you and I because

15:45

the org is like, oh, no. No.

15:47

No. I'm saying for men, it's like, you know,

15:49

our job in that process is

15:51

you

15:52

know,

15:52

you literally pump your sperm

15:54

and roll over and fart and go to bed. It's literally

15:57

insane. It's in saying

15:59

how little

15:59

you guys do. Four. And then he's like, I had

16:02

to

16:02

wake up on Monday at five thirty

16:04

to feed the baby. I'm like, I don't

16:06

-- Yeah. -- give a shit. Yeah. I was pregnant

16:08

for six hundred months wake up my

16:11

my, like, very, like, principle with

16:13

that kind of stuff. When when he's telling

16:15

me has to, like, wake up or stay up late I

16:17

don't care. Yeah. I was pregnant for ten months. Right.

16:19

Get your ass up. Yeah. I'm gonna be sleeping.

16:21

How how is it like, how are you able

16:23

to not hold so much resentment to

16:27

Like, I I didn't make the rules.

16:29

But that's what I mean. Like, for me personally,

16:31

I feel like I would be like and I feel like

16:33

this is the most common argument is,

16:35

like, you do so

16:38

much as a woman, you carry the baby,

16:40

you birth the baby, you're the baby depends

16:42

on you to survive and live and

16:44

the the husband always feels

16:47

helpless or the partner always feels helpless.

16:49

And do they Wasn't wasn't feel

16:51

helpless? Maybe not. Do

16:53

I? I don't know. Do you?

16:55

No.

16:57

I think there is

16:59

a shred of little bit of resentment,

17:02

but I will say one thing. I

17:04

loved giving birth. You did? Like,

17:06

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. great.

17:08

Ten more times. Oh, if I could

17:10

skip the pregnancy part and give birth, I would

17:12

give birth all day long. I love it.

17:15

I love going in. I love checking in.

17:17

I love getting the fucking epidural. I

17:19

love birthing the baby. I love, like,

17:21

having the baby. I, like, love the whole thing.

17:23

Really? I love being in the hospital afterwards.

17:26

Even possible. It's so funny because

17:27

you have a like No. I like If you don't

17:29

voice these kind of things when you're going through, that's

17:31

so much fun.

17:32

don't like the process of getting there. It's

17:34

so much. Yeah. It's but wait.

17:37

Tell me why you is it, like, empowering?

17:39

Are you, like, I am a very intense

17:42

person. Like, I like

17:44

I like it freezing cold in

17:46

the ice bath. Yeah. And I like it's so hot in the

17:48

sana and I just zero to sixty

17:50

for me. And so the birth is, like, the in

17:52

hence part. Yeah. And it's it's

17:55

fun. Fun. We

17:57

don't care at all. No. The birth

17:59

is easy peasy. come on.

18:01

And I think you go into it with this, like, scared

18:03

mindset because that one scares you. The birth

18:06

is natural. We're, like, meant to do that. And people

18:08

are gonna say, well, we're meant to be pregnant, but

18:10

pregnancy is, like, long and

18:12

it's, like Some people love pregnancy too.

18:14

It's it depends on the process. But were

18:17

did you do I'm sure I feel like you're

18:19

an up and bucky? Please stop me

18:21

if I'm okay. You did. Both of them vaginal.

18:24

I did epidural. It's like

18:26

you're just chilling. It's like you had

18:28

ten glass a Rosé and then it's time to

18:30

push. What happens if you don't get that

18:32

epidural in time? Ben, are you in hell? I didn't do

18:34

that. See, this is the trick. turn

18:36

me off if you don't want my advice. This is my experience.

18:39

I was told by

18:41

a girlfriend to get the epidural before

18:43

starts to hurt, and which makes total sense.

18:46

Why would I wait until I'm in extreme pain

18:48

to get the epidural when I could just be chilling

18:50

throughout? Now my epidural with

18:52

my second one stopped working. Oh,

18:55

at the end. Well, then

18:56

it was rough because then we had to then you have to catch up

18:58

with the pain. Right? Or it's like you're ahead of it, then it's

19:00

not It's better

19:00

to be. Right. Just why I was like, oh, it hurts.

19:02

Get the epidural. And then -- Right. -- like, I

19:04

think that

19:05

The point is is, like, some

19:06

people make the choice not to get it. But if you're going

19:09

to at some point get it, like, there's no like,

19:11

why try to be a hero and, like, wait till the very

19:13

end? Like, you might as well, if you're getting it, just might as well get it. If

19:15

you're gonna get

19:15

it, just get it as soon as possible. And

19:18

were you there for the like, you just Well, it

19:20

was down the street at this bar that I really like.

19:23

I mean, in the vagina, were

19:25

you there? No. No. No. No. At the Okay.

19:26

No. No. No. No. She didn't. Listen. My

19:29

thing is she was not

19:31

comfortable with me being right there.

19:33

And and my I feel like my job

19:35

in that scenario is to make her the most

19:37

comfortable. I would let you read that. Is it like, hey.

19:39

You stand here. I'm like, okay. That means that, like, I'll

19:41

just see the kid, like, a few seconds after.

19:44

Yeah. Like,

19:45

I'm good, you know. I

19:46

I want them down there because I want you to

19:48

see what that thing has to go through

19:50

so

19:50

that you can be like, you are hero. But, I guess,

19:52

you can already feel that way. No. But if she's

19:54

What's gonna feel like she's gonna feel If she wanted me there,

19:56

I would be there, but she's like, I don't want you set forth.

19:59

Whatever. Get

19:59

behind the curtain. Always

20:02

behind. Always

20:03

behind the curtain. Yeah. That's I mean, I get

20:05

it. I used to say that, but now I'm like, no. You get down

20:07

there and you see what's happening. You know what, Jason?

20:10

Sorry. Sorry. I don't know if he could.

20:12

Not because he would he's like, oh, god. I'm

20:14

not gonna see that, but I think he'd faint. If

20:16

you can push it out of your vagina, he

20:18

can get down there and see it. Yeah. And if he faints,

20:21

he faints. Yeah. You can faint. We'll see

20:23

all the pain that I'm

20:23

like a lot of consideration to

20:26

how I feel during the process. I'm

20:29

truly no one cares.

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21:46

What would you say is the highest high and the lowest

21:49

low as

21:49

parents?

21:51

The highest high is

21:53

definitely seeing a

21:55

child that's created from you and the person

21:57

you love the most. Yeah. It's like so wild

21:59

to see traits of my husband and traits

22:02

of me, especially since we've known each other since we

22:04

were twelve, there's so much history. Yeah.

22:06

And it's also wild to, like, see your

22:08

mom or your dad or his mom, like,

22:10

traits in the children. Like, that is to

22:13

me is crazy. Maybe that's

22:15

narcissistic to say. I think this

22:16

is gonna sound cheesy but, like, maybe the parents

22:19

listening will get it. Like, I think the highest, highest,

22:21

seeing that and seeing what you've created and then watching

22:23

it grow. And at the same time, it's the lowest

22:25

low because you're watching that. It it really does. People

22:27

say, oh, it happens fast. Yeah. Yeah. It happens

22:29

so fast, and it's it's, like,

22:32

heartbreaking and exciting at

22:34

the same time. Yeah. That makes sense. But the

22:36

for sure

22:37

the lowest low is mom guilt. And

22:39

it is this. It is. Especially,

22:42

you're you're gonna text me or DM

22:44

me, and you're gonna be like, oh my god. Yeah.

22:46

It's because you wanna still have your

22:48

career and you wanna still podcast and you wanna

22:51

still work and you wanna still, like, check the boxes

22:53

that you, like, are set out to check.

22:55

And you also wanna, like, be able

22:57

to still blow your husband and cook dinner.

23:00

Like, do all the things, but then it, like, takes

23:02

away from watching your

23:05

child grow. And so you're in this, like,

23:07

tug of war. Like, today when I was leaving, my

23:09

daughter's, like, no, mama stay stay.

23:11

It's, like, And,

23:14

like, I I wanna go build my

23:16

brand -- Right. -- do do podcast like

23:18

this, but it's still it's

23:21

really hard to, like, balance

23:23

at all. It and I know it's a lot of such a

23:25

boring answer. No. But I think that

23:27

makes lot of sense. I feel like okay. And

23:29

people parents probably hate me for

23:31

this. because I'm always like, well, my dogs,

23:33

but I know dogs are not children and not

23:35

the same. But I the amount of love

23:38

I can feel for two dogs scares me for

23:40

the amount of love I feel for children. It's

23:42

like terrifying. And when they

23:44

look at me, when I'm walking out that door,

23:46

I have guilt. So I can't imagine

23:49

creating something that you

23:51

have created with Michael birth

23:54

this child, then they can speak to and say,

23:56

no, mama, don't go. And I You're

23:58

national. You like, you're you're here and you

24:00

have to also travel. Yeah. And

24:02

are you're national right now? Right? I

24:04

think that's really smart because you'll be able to

24:06

have those, like, sanctuary wellness moments

24:08

there. Yeah. Then you can go with your briefcase

24:10

to LA or New York, but it's still hard.

24:12

Yeah. It's it's a low when you can't have sex with the

24:14

door open anymore. Yes. It's

24:16

been tough for me. I've started talking to some people

24:18

about it. That is a low. I mean, that's that's hard.

24:20

It's like, It's like Oh, I have to mourn certain

24:23

parts of my life that don't exist anymore. Yeah.

24:25

I mean I'll get proratable. How do you even have time have

24:27

sex?

24:28

You schedule it now that your parents I don't schedule.

24:30

That's just fun sexy to me. Yeah. Well,

24:32

our best sex is when we can just

24:35

take a mom and dad trip. Yeah. Like, we

24:37

went to New York. We went to Carbone. Oh,

24:39

I love it. It's hard to have sex after car

24:41

bone, but -- Yeah. -- hey. You know what?

24:44

Yeah. This you guys have known each other since you're twelve.

24:46

I I feel like It's okay. Yeah.

24:48

And, like, how are the meatballs? What

24:50

do I do then?

24:51

We're like, our,

24:53

like, place where we can, like, really just relax

24:56

and let loose his cabo. Like, we have our places

24:58

that we can -- Yeah. -- travel to. I mean, it's

25:00

it's hard to I think

25:01

that's a a thing that a lot of

25:03

couples,

25:04

and we talked about this on the show. Like, that,

25:06

you know, people decide, like, now I'm not a couple

25:08

anymore. I'm a parent. Like, my life's about the

25:10

kids. It's like, no. No. No. You gotta put them in relationships

25:12

first. Like, if you're not doing all that like,

25:15

I think one of our biggest fears is that we

25:17

would just be, like, co parenting. Right. We would just

25:19

be, like, friend sharing a bed and, like, not having

25:21

that. I mean, like, what's the point of that? Right.

25:22

I also think for

25:24

me, I will always

25:27

be ready to have sex or

25:29

get the blowjob. Like, anyone, like, I'm always

25:31

like whenever he wants to admit.

25:34

Like, I'm always down to

25:36

Wow. That's incredible. -- I just

25:38

think that that's like a part of

25:41

I also think, like, you and I

25:43

and I feel like you can relate to this word dominant

25:45

in a lot of areas -- Yes. -- with business. And so,

25:47

like, that that sex areas, I'm a little

25:49

bit more submissive to that.

25:52

I think that there's from my relationship,

25:54

there's nothing wrong with, like, that being an area

25:57

where it's like I'm I'm down to Raleigh.

25:59

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My antidepressants won't

26:01

let me. They're like, that's

26:03

what I heard that it makes you like feel

26:05

not sexual. Yeah. I had I lowered

26:08

my dosage. It helped because I was like, what

26:10

the fuck is happening? Like, it was

26:12

so and when I hear you say that, I'm like, I wanna

26:14

get back to that. I

26:16

mean Really? because it throws off the hormones.

26:17

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The blow drop. You

26:19

just probably wanna get it done in minute and

26:21

a half. Quick blow drop. Oh,

26:22

god. Lord. Don't be just throwing out a blast like that.

26:25

You gotta do the

26:26

coin. What's the coin? You gotta do the

26:28

coin. The coin is lit like this. I would say,

26:31

what

26:31

have having kids you like, we were talking

26:33

about this in a work capacity, but also taking them a

26:35

sex capacity. You become efficient with your like, you're

26:37

like, okay. We gotta Work smarter,

26:38

not harder. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. What's

26:40

the coin? Yeah. You gotta do the coin. The coin

26:42

is when you take your pointer

26:45

finger and your thumb and you

26:47

put put it together. I wrote a blog

26:49

post on this too. and you it's

26:51

like you're doing the what what's the sign again?

26:53

It's the okay. Sign. Illinois.

26:56

I'm just kidding. don't know what I'm to

26:59

a okay and you Lisa

27:00

Reiner wrote a book about this. Lisa Reiner wrote a book. Or maybe it's

27:02

a chapter in a book. She didn't write a whole book about this. Okay.

27:03

And you grip the penis

27:06

and you twist up and down.

27:08

Oh, yeah. while you're grabbing the balls with

27:10

the other hands and you coin it,

27:12

and they'll come. Really? Works

27:15

every time. And then Josh flag just told me a tip

27:17

to, like, from the butthole. Okay. Joshua, I got

27:19

way too much. No.

27:20

I mean, listen. I am okay. Are

27:22

you into butt stuff? I can't put my tongue

27:24

in a butthole. I'm not putting in the butthole. I won't

27:26

yuck somebody's yum if that if you like or into

27:29

that No. Power to you. No. I'm not gonna I

27:31

can't with that fecal matter. I mean, I think

27:33

I'll I'll I'll, like, lick the the the the

27:36

goat. Like

27:36

Look at the tank. I think the tank.

27:38

What's the goat? you know, and and, no,

27:40

not the butts stuff. I think it's like I'm kinda

27:43

it's a novelty for younger days. Yeah. You

27:45

know, I mean,

27:45

listen, we've had fun in our day. I'm not saying we haven't

27:48

had fun, but the but the butts x is like a whole

27:50

thing. Now you definitely don't wanna do that after

27:52

carbon.

27:52

No. You don't wanna beef up

27:55

the ass after carbon.

27:55

I

27:57

don't think I could get down. You should call this podcast.

27:59

don't wanna

27:59

be fucked up the ass. How does it

28:00

always happen to us? How do we always go down these paths?

28:04

I

28:04

do too. I can't help it. I can't help

28:06

it either. And I like hearing other couples talk

28:08

about these things because I want I like when people

28:10

are just open and honest about it. And I'm like,

28:12

I'd be so proud if I were you being like, I love

28:14

giving a blowjob and having sex. I

28:17

I honestly think that I

28:18

mean, it's probably Yeah. two kids.

28:20

I've always been an overshare when it

28:23

comes to sex. And I just think that there's

28:25

so many people that feel shame around it, so to

28:27

talk about it openly and, like, I don't know about energy.

28:29

Even when saying you to butt stuff. That's just

28:31

me personally. You can if people like butt stuff,

28:34

no shame at all. In fact, I wish I was little

28:36

more freaky, naughty like that. If you

28:38

like butt sex like, sent DM me some

28:40

tips because Yeah.

28:42

I wish I loved it. My best friend, Lowe,

28:45

who do you know who Lowe is? I

28:47

don't think so. Okay. You need to have him on your podcast.

28:49

He he's one of my favorite guests to have.

28:51

Okay? But he always talks about,

28:53

like, if he goes on a date, I'm, like, do decide if you're

28:55

gonna be top or bottom because he says he switches?

28:58

Obviously, he's gay. And he

29:00

said, well, depends what we're having for

29:02

dinner. And he goes, if I'm gonna be

29:04

bottom like, I'll just, you know, take a knee on the

29:06

Mexican. That's so smart.

29:09

I know. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah.

29:11

You gotta, like, pay attention to what you're having for

29:13

dinner. Yeah. You do. Yeah.

29:15

Not carbon. Not carbon. Do

29:18

not have one of those meatballs. but

29:20

they're so delicious. They're yeah. That's

29:22

it's just the best one of my favorite restaurants

29:24

in New York. Hundred percent. Yeah. Do

29:26

you both have similar parenting styles.

29:28

I know they're still young, but similar parenting

29:31

styles because that's something that I always think

29:33

about with Jason. We're such different people, and

29:35

I'm like way more, like, Yeah. If

29:37

they wanna shave their head, like, let's let

29:39

them be free, and Jason's like, well, let's get to

29:41

the bottom of why they wanna shave their head and,

29:43

like, let's talk about that. And I'm like,

29:45

No. That's too deep. Like, what do you have the

29:47

same parenting style? Or have you no.

29:50

Do you think

29:50

we have the same parenting style? I don't think we have the

29:52

same parenting style, but I think we're very aligned

29:54

in our values and our goals for our

29:56

families. So love that. I think what

29:59

happens is, like, we

29:59

will approach parenting differently, and

30:02

think it's really hard to have the same parenting because you're

30:04

to individuals. Yeah. But

30:05

if there's, like, a further explanation

30:08

or or further, you know, depth

30:10

into this advice for couples or in a relationship,

30:12

it's, like, I think

30:13

if you can't get aligned

30:15

on what you actually want out of the

30:17

relationship or the goals you want for your family, think

30:19

it's then very difficult to meet. Right?

30:21

Like, if I if I wanted to go this way with our family and

30:24

she wanted to go that way and we're completely different than our

30:26

parenting style. I think that would be very difficult, but

30:28

we both, like, align on what we want to happen.

30:29

That makes sense. One thing that Michael and I

30:32

do that that we

30:34

realize we do all the time is

30:36

we're very much aligned.

30:38

Like, he just said with the vision and our

30:40

strategy. Like, we talk about a

30:42

lot what the future looks like for

30:44

our family. Like, where we want to be in

30:46

two years, where we wanna be in five years, where we

30:48

wanna be in ten, twenty third like, we really

30:51

talk about that, and I think that

30:53

that helps on a micro

30:55

level as parents get on the same

30:57

page. Mhmm. But I'm definitely more easy

30:59

going. And, like, I'll give

31:01

you an example. Last night. I had, like, a huge

31:04

mug of hot ginger ginger.

31:06

I'm, like, so excited to sit in bed.

31:08

I'm eating

31:08

all the ginger too.

31:10

Yeah. and I put chia

31:12

seeds in the tea because I wanna, like, flesh.

31:14

Interesting. I've put like a bunch of chia

31:16

seeds. And you know how they like it all, like, soppy and, like,

31:18

get big. especially in the water, but

31:20

it makes things go. Okay. So

31:22

I so I'm so excited to, like, sit

31:24

in bed after a long day and drink my ginger

31:27

digestion tea with chia seeds.

31:29

Yep. and Zaza is

31:31

playing with the dog and hits the tea over.

31:34

Oh, no. And my your first reaction

31:36

is you wanna be like, oh my god. Like, what

31:38

what did you do? And then I realized, like, she

31:40

already she ran and hit under the bat. Oh.

31:42

And so she already felt bad. Yeah. And that's

31:45

what it was, like, so this is, like, a really good opportunity

31:47

to teach her that this is an accident. There's

31:49

some chia seeds all over my

31:51

human custom bed,

31:53

like, in a

31:54

in a it's, like, cheetahs

31:56

is, like, worms -- Yeah. -- everywhere. Oh,

31:59

no. It's in every crevice It's

32:01

underneath my nails. It's it's a nightmare.

32:03

Yeah. And I'm like, okay. This is an opportunity just

32:06

be like, it's okay. It was an accident. Mhmm.

32:08

You're approach I feel like would be a little

32:10

bit I had nothing

32:11

to do with our approach to our child. No. She he's

32:13

more no. He's more like No. No. No. Let's

32:15

go. I went to you and said why are we

32:17

having more chia seeds in the bed? Because

32:19

we have a thing about I think it's gross to eat in

32:21

the bed. That's Really? I don't. I

32:23

don't. It's better in bed. But the

32:26

problem is is that not when she when

32:28

she's spraying. She has seeds everywhere. There's crumbs.

32:30

There's this. There's like chocolate

32:31

chips. Michael's a little more reactive

32:33

than me, I would say. You bet. I'm a little more

32:35

blase. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I

32:37

have no win here. I'm just gonna say, oh,

32:39

I agree with you.

32:40

Of your spade and

32:42

sparrows, rosé, right now.

32:46

You should

32:46

have seen these chia seeds. It's just

32:48

everywhere. Yeah. Every nook

32:50

and cranny, like, the worst. but

32:52

what a sweetie she went in right now. Oh.

32:55

She went into the blankets. Like, didn't like she

32:57

just like, ah, like, went into

32:58

it. That's really cute though.

33:00

But she has seen though I did go back downstairs and

33:02

get more and make a new tea. So There you go. Yeah. It

33:04

was fine. I just didn't drink in the bed. He's

33:08

sick in his head. Last time you guys

33:10

were on my podcast, we talked about how

33:12

Lauren's dad caught you guys in the closet.

33:14

Yes. And we asked you

33:16

what you would do if you caught your daughter in the closet

33:19

day with

33:19

a boy. So now

33:21

I wanna know that you're a girl dad. No.

33:23

I wouldn't have that. I don't I mean, this is he

33:25

too. Have you ever heard this?

33:27

I mean, he had he must have the patience and the understanding

33:29

of a saint because if somebody's heads coming

33:31

off the sideline, man. Yeah. knew

33:34

it. The next phone call you're gonna get to collect call

33:36

from me from prison being like, hey, I'll be home

33:38

in a few years, I mean.

33:39

Would you literally get that mad?

33:42

internally maybe?

33:42

No. I don't. I mean, listen,

33:44

not really. I don't I don't know. I mean, it's a

33:47

I mean, who knows? I'm not you never have a new

33:49

situation, but Better. It would

33:51

be hard to fathom at this point

33:53

because I'm looking at her and she's not even three

33:55

years old. Yeah. You can.

33:56

I'm talking, like, twenty one year old, Zaza.

33:58

Well,

33:59

No. Twenty one,

33:59

I'd probably be like, okay. What are you doing? You know, like, that's the year

34:02

to date. But he caught us when we were twelve or

34:04

thirteen. Twenty two days were you?

34:05

Yeah. Titanic was out. So, like I

34:08

don't remember because I looked up at the poster and

34:10

my dad was

34:10

My underwear only. And she was

34:12

in her underwear only. No. Everything

34:15

out of touch. shit. And her little sister

34:17

came and, you know, like, you know, like a horror movie

34:19

when you could see, like, the little slips in that closet.

34:21

And the little sister runs in the room. She's like, Lauren and

34:23

going under the bed, and I see her through the little slits

34:26

in the thing. And then Lauren gets in she got in

34:28

the closet with me, which I don't know what you are thinking then.

34:30

And so I'm, like, sitting there. I'm, like, well, I'm crude

34:33

here because the little sister thought it was like a hide and

34:35

seek thing. And then the next thing that thing rips open

34:37

and it's the dad and I'm twelve years old and he's

34:39

standing there as a huge man as very

34:42

alarming. We're dating

34:43

at twelve. No. We have

34:46

not dated that long. Oh, we started dating at

34:48

twelve. We broke up at team. We got back

34:50

together way later on in life. Yeah.

34:52

Way later on in life. Yeah. That's true.

34:54

Okay. I don't want like, for this isn't,

34:56

like, you know, a thirty year relationship

34:59

over here. That's we we had to, like, go experience

35:01

different flavors, which is fair enough.

35:03

Yeah.

35:04

What does the

35:05

goal look like for your family in three years, five

35:07

years, ten years, like, what when you guys talk about

35:09

that, what does it look like? We

35:13

definitely want to probably have

35:15

a house somewhere else. We

35:17

want to be really fluid with our business

35:19

where we have the ability to have autonomy,

35:21

like, you know, I don't

35:23

know how long, you know, and

35:25

I'm not saying this is gonna happen in five years, but how long

35:27

we wanna be in the spotlight? Like, is it something that

35:29

we wanna be? Like, I wanna be eighty years

35:32

old. I I don't think so. I think we

35:34

really strategize on, like, I don't wanna

35:36

be taking and not that there's anything wrong

35:38

with that. I don't wanna be taking near selfie

35:40

at, like, forty five years old. That's not I

35:42

feel like the vision. It's like building the business

35:45

and really think thinking of what that looks like

35:47

from a macro level and a micro level. And then,

35:50

you know, what our family looks like, where where

35:52

we wanna travel to, what we wanna do,

35:55

like, we just have, like, very, like, specific

35:58

goals.

35:58

And when I think, like, more, like, just on, like,

36:00

the if you were to look at, like, kinda,

36:02

like, the Ether. Like, Lauren and I both kinda

36:04

grew up. think all of us grew up at a time. I was like,

36:06

there's like, these structures. Right? It was like, you go you follow-up.

36:08

You go through this school, you do this, and then you get this job. You

36:10

know, it was like,

36:12

I remember growing up and be like, man, I don't

36:14

really don't feel like I fit into this kind

36:16

of box. I struggled a lot as a kid because was

36:18

always in trouble. was getting kicked out of places. And I

36:20

wanna kinda teach our children that

36:22

you can acknowledge and respect some of those structures,

36:24

but that you can kind of also have an unconventional

36:27

life and write the blueprint. Yeah. And, yeah, and find

36:29

kind of different path. And so I

36:31

I don't think that we will have, like, the traditional

36:34

cookie cutter white picket fence

36:36

kind of relationship marriage family.

36:38

We

36:38

don't wanna stay in one place forever. Like, that's

36:40

we wanna really be able to be fluid.

36:42

But autonomy is what speaks to me the

36:44

most. It's like waking up and being

36:46

able to do what you wanna do when

36:48

you wanna do it. and whether that's work

36:50

or, you know, fly to

36:53

freaking New York for one day. Like, whatever it

36:55

is, I think autonomy is, like, it's

36:57

it's that's the word that I see.

36:59

Yeah. Like, I don't I don't care what kind of job

37:01

or career my children pick. I care that

37:03

they're good people, that they're driven and doesn't

37:05

have to be driven by, like, Right? They're in big doesn't

37:08

have to be, like, money or yeah. But it just like

37:10

they're they're pursuing something. Right?

37:12

Whatever that thing is. And, you know, I think I

37:14

want them to, like, understand that, like, they they

37:16

can kind of carve their own path with our support, but

37:18

that like, it doesn't have to look like everything else.

37:20

And I also

37:21

I think and and I feel like you can

37:23

relate to this. It's like building a business that's

37:25

bigger than Lauren Bostick. Like, it's

37:27

like, I I have to build something that's that's

37:29

bigger than me that doesn't have to do with me.

37:32

Yeah. That's very, very important to us. I

37:34

don't wanna, you know, be on social

37:36

media when I'm eighty eight. Not that there's anything

37:38

wrong with that. And I just don't want

37:39

She's gonna get off the day before she dies.

37:42

That's I always try and think that too because

37:44

I always like the idea of being off social

37:46

media, but then I know I'm gonna miss it because

37:49

I do like social media too. I just don't

37:51

know what that looks like for me down the road.

37:53

I think we can all agree

37:55

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37:57

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37:59

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38:01

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39:06

I know you're talking about with family,

39:09

you know, putting your relationship first

39:11

to have that healthy relationship for

39:13

your kids. Where do you put business

39:15

in that? You know how you said, like, people say

39:18

your kids come first, your relationship, and you're saying,

39:20

I want my relationship to be first, which I

39:22

agree with, for the kids' sake. But where do you

39:24

put does business come first then relates

39:26

to your concern? I think business is pretty high

39:28

up there. I

39:29

think is the the business should

39:32

be very high on the list as long as

39:34

it's not taking away from what

39:36

we've talked about as a goal for like, so

39:38

if I had a like, so the great thing about Lauren

39:40

and I do is we get to interact all the time together on the

39:42

show. We have separate businesses. Obviously, I'm running intermediate.

39:44

She's running the skinny confidential. We have this together.

39:47

And because that we get to engage a lot in spent

39:49

a lot of time together and it enhances what we're doing

39:51

as a family for our children. But if it

39:53

ever got to a point where it was pulling a business

39:55

was pulling me away from her or kids

39:58

or vice versa. Yeah. Then I would say, okay, maybe

39:59

that business isn't worth it. Because at the end of the

40:02

day, you may

40:03

have a lunch of money in a successful venture. But you

40:05

don't have family life, good relationship, good relationship with

40:07

their children. It's like, what is the what's the point?

40:08

I think how business is a tool. It's a vehicle.

40:11

Like, I'll give you an example of of

40:13

what wouldn't be high? Like, say someone came to

40:15

us and they were like, we wanna follow you around,

40:17

Michael and you all day long, and

40:20

we wanna do a reality show. And I'm not talking

40:22

about, like, the Bachelorette or the Bachelorette. I'm talking about,

40:24

like, a reality show about Michael and I.

40:26

Mhmm. We

40:29

we would really be a thought.

40:31

Full about that because I feel like

40:33

that would infringe on our marriage

40:35

in a lot of different ways.

40:36

I would say no. No. He

40:38

would say no. And so, like,

40:40

that's something that's not worth it. We really

40:42

weigh, like, the pros and cons

40:44

of everything and and how it's gonna affect

40:46

the future. Mhmm. So there's

40:48

a lot of strategy, but I would say businesses

40:50

we love business. No.

40:51

We love business, but there's a way to build businesses

40:53

that enhance your family life and your relationship

40:56

and not take away from it. Yeah. Right?

40:58

That's fair

40:58

enough. And I feel like you too have such a solid

41:00

foundation that you like know each other, you trust

41:02

each other, you build family together, Is it

41:05

hard to have businesses together, or do you enjoy

41:07

that aspect of your relationship? It

41:09

used to be really hard. Yeah. It

41:11

used to be very What changed? I think

41:13

what changed is you just you learn how

41:15

to manage it. You you just get good at managing

41:17

it. I think now it's like we know where

41:19

each of us stands. Like, don't step in my it's

41:21

like that game, the four square. Like, don't come

41:24

into my creative. I don't come

41:26

into his logistics.

41:27

I was talking to

41:29

my

41:29

accountant. I can be careful here. I was talking

41:32

to my accountant. And he,

41:34

obviously, he's he sits

41:36

on the side where he is working with a lot

41:38

of families and seeing their their

41:40

net worth and their finances and all stuff.

41:43

And he sometimes

41:44

sees some of those families through

41:46

divorce. Right? And he was saying that

41:48

he was talking to me and he's like, listen, he's like, I think it's

41:50

act like,

41:51

we will probably be fine, you

41:53

know, we're knock on wood. Mhmm. because I think the harder

41:55

thing to figure out is the business stuff actually.

41:58

Like, it's hard to figure out how

41:59

to

41:59

be in a full relationship and work together

42:02

and build big together and not have it affect

42:04

the relationship. And a lot of people, like, you know,

42:06

if you can solve that park, because we we had to

42:08

go through so much shit in the beginning of, like, you do

42:10

this. I do this. We Yeah. What do you step into. What

42:12

do you not step into? Like, how do you avoid this

42:14

fight? And I think, like, we did so much work

42:16

though that, like, honestly, the marriage and the parenting

42:18

thing is easier than figuring out the business. I believe

42:21

when people ask, like, other couple say, hey, should I get

42:23

in business with my partner? I'm saying, like,

42:25

no, ninety nine percent of the time.

42:27

But my advice though if you are gonna do it

42:29

is just throw yourself into it and figure it out.

42:31

Like, don't like, try to be like, oh, like, just

42:33

throw yourself in and see where you land. It's really

42:35

fucking hard, though. Yeah. I I like

42:37

Jason and I obviously don't own businesses together,

42:40

but we're in the same business. And you

42:42

might if, you know, you guys might

42:44

have a business together in the future. Yeah.

42:46

So I mean, I could see both of you just

42:48

after talking about you. You're very, very

42:50

entrepreneurial. Like, I could see you guys owning

42:52

something together. Mhmm. Yeah. It's

42:54

scary though because I feel like both of us

42:56

put

42:56

work first a lot. That's hard.

42:59

Yeah. But

43:00

here's what his mom told me

43:02

a long time ago. Your mom told me this like ten years

43:04

ago. she told me when your husband

43:06

comes home, you better have something

43:08

interesting to say. And the reverse says

43:10

for a wife. So if if a wife comes home

43:12

from work and the husband has nothing inter doing the science.

43:15

So for me, the business

43:17

adds this element of, like, there's so

43:19

much to talk about true that

43:21

it never gets boring and I feel like I'm a

43:23

valuable asset to the business and so is he

43:25

which makes the marriage that much richer?

43:28

I love that perspective. That's

43:30

nice. Well, the way you we think about it is

43:32

like, you know, think

43:33

about how much time people spend in their careers

43:36

and like they're building all this relationship doing all these

43:38

amazing things and growing in all these different directions

43:40

and, like, to be able to share that with your

43:42

partner is great. But sometimes, you know,

43:44

we know these relationships come home and, like, can't really talk

43:46

about that with your significant other. It's like, oh, I feel stifled

43:48

in a way. Like, I wanna talk about all these amazing things that are

43:50

going on if you can. It's like, you're kind of missing

43:53

a big part. That would be hard for me to come

43:55

home

43:55

and have all the stuff going on business wise

43:57

and not having someone who understood

43:59

or understood or, like, wants

44:01

about it, like, what it sounds like, I don't wanna talk about

44:03

this. That's why even if there's

44:04

a one or whether it's the man or

44:06

the woman or man or whatever it is, and, like, and there's

44:08

a breadwinner in the family that's been like, you

44:10

you still have to have something going

44:13

on. Like, there's like a hobby, like -- Yeah. --

44:15

an activity something to to talk about and be

44:17

interested in something outside of just like the

44:19

relationship and the kids. They're not And a lot

44:21

of people, like, get offended when you say

44:23

that. because I think it hits some nerves

44:25

of people. But

44:26

it's true. Like, people want to

44:29

bring things from outside of their household

44:31

into the conversation and into the relationship

44:33

and talk about the outside world a bit more.

44:35

Yeah. No. That makes complete sense. I

44:37

like it. You guys are kidding. I dropped

44:39

them like last little thing before I let you go.

44:41

It's called going deep with him and her. Just

44:44

really it's it

44:46

doesn't sound like that. I've been noticing

44:48

what you think. Never

44:48

know what this conversation.

44:49

Yeah. You never know. I mean, these could lead to

44:52

something But what is the thing in your life that

44:54

you're both the most proud of?

44:57

I think, honestly,

44:58

I think, I'm most proud of the relationship

45:01

we've built. I think it's been,

45:03

you

45:03

know, we've we met when we're twelve, like I said,

45:05

and we've been together now since we're twenty.

45:07

We've never been separated. We've built that

45:10

relationship has stemmed, you know, multiple

45:12

business entities and platforms

45:15

that I think have grown bigger

45:17

than just us too. And obviously,

45:20

a family and children. And so, like, I think, like,

45:22

honestly, it's the thing we've both worked

45:24

out the longest and hardest, again, like,

45:26

the longest period of time. And I think

45:28

It it's not been easy always,

45:31

but it's I'm most proud of my eyebrows.

45:34

I mean, they are I'm most proud of my relationship

45:37

with my Definitely. And that sounds cheesy, but it's,

45:39

like, it in the future, like, oh, it's, like, Sapphire

45:41

family. No. But, I mean, also It's,

45:42

like, I don't there's one other way

45:44

you answer that? You can know I love that. You know the

45:46

platform, the businesses, the it it says,

45:48

yeah. It stemmed a lot of things. Yeah.

45:50

It's nice.

45:51

really nice. What

45:53

is one simple thing that will

45:55

always make you happy?

45:58

Simple. I have a lot of things.

45:59

the

46:00

little simple things. I'm gonna

46:02

do things that will make me happy. Meditating

46:05

and not being interrupted. Mhmm.

46:07

Ice rolling. Mhmm. My

46:09

kids. 528

46:12

frequencies. It's on it's

46:14

on Spotify. It just,

46:16

like, relaxes you really quickly. It's not

46:18

music. It's frequencies. Okay. Cold

46:21

plunging,

46:23

a glass of spade

46:24

and sparrows rosé. You're

46:26

good. just like I'm

46:29

I like very simple

46:31

Zen Sanctuary Ask Things.

46:34

When it's time to work, I'll put my bootstraps

46:36

on and work but I'm like at home, I like

46:38

a very very calm

46:40

simple house. Me too. Mine would be like a

46:43

candle and flowers. Like, I'm the most basic

46:45

bitch. when it comes to simple things that make me happy.

46:47

I'm like, fall, a pumpkin.

46:49

I don't know. yeah. Like, just little things. Yeah.

46:51

Like, my fucking chia seed -- Yeah. --

46:54

gender tea that was

46:55

built. when I see that scrunchy go back and

46:57

that hair start to get tied back from morning.

46:59

I go I do edits. I just get

47:01

it. No. I don't stress. I'm honestly very

47:04

simple to I like the the honestly,

47:06

if you if you put me anywhere at anytime

47:08

and hand me a book, I'm happy. That's

47:10

true. Yes. He loves a book. Like, I don't care where

47:12

and what I'm doing if you're just like, hey, you got fifteen

47:14

minutes to just, like, read something, I'm I'm good.

47:16

Yes. What is the book I'm reading right now? The

47:18

code of the extraordinary mind. Never heard of

47:20

it. I can check it out. Okay. It's I'm I'm only, like,

47:23

thirty pages in right now, and I'm already, like, obsessed

47:25

with this.

47:25

Is it, like, a fiction, non fiction? It

47:27

it's basically what you were talking about, how

47:29

this guy broke the blueprint of what his parents

47:31

were telling him to do. and how he got his

47:33

success and what got him there. Oh, interesting.

47:36

And it's phenomenal. I highly

47:38

recommend buying it. Yeah. Right

47:40

now. Really? Excellent.

47:42

Autonomy. I know

47:43

I already said that, autonomy is really important

47:45

to me to be able to do whatever the fuck I wanna do when

47:47

I wanna do it and not have to, like, do everyone

47:50

else's to do list. Yeah.

47:52

I

47:52

don't really keep, like, a bucket list

47:54

per se. I look at life a little bit differently.

47:56

Like, III look at the I I look

47:58

at my life in, like, phases. I'm like and I was talking about

48:00

this earlier in the show. I'm like, okay, phase one. I was like, okay,

48:03

gonna go do these stupid things phase two. You're gonna try,

48:05

like, build up day three's kids. Like, I look I

48:07

don't necessarily have a bucket list because I

48:09

and the reason being is I

48:11

try there's a lot things I want

48:13

to do, but I also okay not,

48:16

like, constantly yearning for those things. Right? Like,

48:18

I try to ground myself a little bit more so that I'm

48:20

not ever

48:21

disappointed in the desert. Literally

48:22

planned our vacations until two thousand

48:24

and five. and I do stuff like that. Well, I don't

48:26

have a bucket list just because the bucket's full. You

48:29

know, but but you know what I mean? I don't

48:31

there's not, like, something like, oh, I only like, if I

48:33

don't get that, like, disappointed. I tried to,

48:35

like, not live that way. Yeah.

48:36

Yeah. No. I like that. No. I like that.

48:38

I know a lot

48:38

of stuff I like to do, but

48:39

Yeah. No. I just I have a list of things I want

48:41

to do before I die. But don't I'm like

48:43

you. I'm, like, not gonna beat myself up over

48:45

it if I don't. Like, what's an example of one thing?

48:48

Like, I

48:50

really wanna go on an African safari. That's

48:52

definitely something I wanna do before I die. I just

48:54

like to do that too. I like I'm

48:55

like what's it called? Like Kirby

48:57

enthusiasm like that. I'm like I would love

48:59

to do all that, but then

49:00

if I don't like it. Yeah. That's good. That's

49:02

good. I wanna take my dad to Scotland to golf

49:04

on his dream golf course. So that would be cool.

49:06

Yeah. less of things like I gotta write my list before

49:09

I die. Yeah. Do it. I will. because when you

49:11

put it on paper and you write it out, it's you hold

49:13

yourself accountable. What is a book

49:15

or show or movie that's had the biggest impact

49:17

on you? A book or show a movie.

49:20

I'm a huge, huge, huge reader like

49:22

Michael. Michael reads more than

49:24

me, but I love to read. The

49:26

book that has had the biggest impact

49:28

on me, it's

49:30

it's so different in each category.

49:32

You want business? You want health?

49:34

You want relationship? Okay. I want

49:36

I

49:38

want relationship. This is a weird one.

49:40

k? The book that

49:43

has had the biggest impact on my relationship.

49:45

I just finished it. is men are

49:47

from Mars, women are from Venus. It

49:51

really fits into perspective. It

49:53

really does. And it so old school

49:55

and there are things because I listened to it on audiobook,

49:57

and I was, like, getting mad at the guy at a time. But I think

49:59

it's just because it was a man's voice telling me something

50:02

else like it's done happening. Yeah. But

50:04

that did, it really it

50:06

was when I was going through a breakup, Bishan.

50:08

I listened to it, and I was like, holy shit.

50:11

Yeah. It really knows it. It simplifies it. Yeah.

50:13

Bethany Franklin's business book she just wrote

50:15

is phenomenal. I was blown

50:17

away. She's got a very, very,

50:20

very smart mind when it comes to business.

50:22

She was I mean, I was, like, whoa.

50:24

Is it what's it called? Business is personal or Business

50:26

is personal. I I And I, like, started

50:29

it and I was like, oh, well, like, read, like, you know,

50:31

forty pages and then we'll see and I

50:33

read the whole book in, like, three days. It's

50:35

really good. Yeah. Okay. just

50:37

like a juicy read. I just finished this book called

50:39

upper cut. Okay. And it's about a

50:41

celebrity hairstylist and

50:43

her life is fucking crazy.

50:45

It's like all

50:46

these celebrities that she encountered, what

50:48

she learned, her sobriety, like, it's a very

50:51

very good book. I would recommend

50:52

it as someone, like, something juicy. I

50:54

I love juicy. god. I mean, I'm

50:56

reading right now the slight edge. I

50:58

love it. Okay? It's a great book

51:00

for business and just for life.

51:02

Okay? Wow.

51:03

How do you want it on me? Writing these down? Okay.

51:06

Well, I think Janice Dickinson's books,

51:08

if you want juicy, no lifeguard on duty.

51:10

Oh my god. That is good book. Really? That is a

51:12

fantastic catastick book. You'll

51:14

read it so quick. And then

51:16

my last one, sorry. When breath becomes air,

51:19

my sister just read it and she texts me and she goes,

51:21

god, I love this book. You are right. I've been telling

51:24

her to read it for like six years. That's a good book.

51:26

Okay?

51:26

Oh, give like a broad so

51:28

I tend to believe that older books, the

51:30

classics, are the best, and that

51:33

most new books can be, you know, you could find

51:35

good things in them. But, like, most of them are

51:37

reg regurgitations of a lot of things in the classics.

51:39

Like, if you can go back and read, you know,

51:41

books like science are getting rich, they can grow

51:43

rich, like, you know, how to win friends and influence.

51:45

Like, all these kind of things that, you know, they've been

51:48

classic for a reason. Some

51:50

authors that have changed my life, like, if you read

51:52

stuff by Larry McMurray or James

51:54

Glovell. These are, like, very prolific

51:56

writers, mostly in fiction, but they've they

51:58

tap into a lot of

52:00

classics as well. And so I think, like,

52:02

reading

52:02

stuff like that. Warren and I,

52:04

like, she said, we're big readers and we go into

52:06

a lot of things. But

52:08

honestly, like, for the greatest impact, the more

52:11

and the more I read them, like, if you just stuck

52:13

to the classics and read and

52:15

read those a few times over and over -- Mhmm.

52:17

-- especially,

52:18

like and even when I say classics, like, you can go into

52:20

the business books are the great historical fictions or the

52:22

great biographies. Like, you

52:24

know, even something like Victor Franklin's Man Search for

52:26

Meaning, like, you will find the answer to life in those

52:28

things. And I think a lot nothing wrong with modern

52:30

writers. They're amazing, but they're

52:32

drawn from a lot of those. If you win a lot of them,

52:34

Robert Green. Robert Green. I was like, any any of his

52:36

book

52:37

The art deduction is a fantastic book,

52:39

laws of human nature. Mastering. Mastering.

52:42

He's a he's an insane writer.

52:44

I think also when people I'll

52:46

post a lot of books on my Instagram stories and people

52:49

will message me and they'll be like, how do you have

52:51

time to read? I was thinking the same thing.

52:53

I would say, why are you watching my Instagram story?

52:55

Yeah. Take a book. Take a book. And

52:58

honestly, what I do is I read thirty minutes

53:00

in the morning and thirty minutes a night. you're

53:02

in bed. Just I take my phone.

53:04

I throw it across the room. I don't even wanna fucking

53:06

look at it. There's a big thing too, and I think this, like, comes from

53:08

the modern school system. It's

53:10

most people feel when they start a book, they have to

53:12

finish it, and lot of people won't quit books. It's

53:14

like, well, I started this thing, and then they, like, they're reading something

53:16

they don't like. you you could read the rest

53:18

of your life every day of your life and not read

53:20

even, you know, a percentage of

53:22

what's out there in the world. So I think if if you're

53:24

reading something and it sucks, throw it and grab something else.

53:27

That's good. I

53:28

have to say one more book. This has changed

53:30

my life. The Almanac,

53:32

I'm saying that word wrong. The Almanac

53:35

of Nepal Rabocan. It's such

53:38

a good book. That book I literally

53:40

look to every single day. That's a great book.

53:42

And a little hot tip. If you're struggling

53:44

with reading in the morning and night, get a Kindle.

53:47

Really? Got up my reading game. Really?

53:49

I got a Kindle. I'm telling you electronic

53:52

pages. but you like turning pages,

53:54

but it's hard to go get the book

53:56

and open the book. And here's the thing. I wake

53:58

up at two in the morning sometimes. Right? Mhmm.

54:01

I can't open the book. I that's fair.

54:03

So I can just well, I literally sleep with

54:05

my Kindle in my bed, put my phone

54:07

away, and so I woke up last excited too, I

54:09

read for a half an hour, and then I woke

54:11

up before the kids the other morning and could

54:13

read for a half an hour from six thirty to seven because

54:15

it's like in my bed. It's hard

54:17

when it's dark or you're winding

54:20

down. Yeah. That's true. I would that's

54:22

I would usually have to pick up my phone and start

54:24

scrolling. So might as well scroll book. Might as

54:26

well scroll a book and get a pop socket on the kindles

54:28

if it doesn't hurt your wrist. Yeah. And kindle is

54:30

the move. It's the new one. Well, I also think the last

54:32

thing I'll say about reading is for people that struggle with,

54:35

like, with anxiety or depression or any

54:37

mental health disorder. What

54:39

I like about reading is it immediately takes

54:41

you out of your own perspective and puts you in somewhere

54:43

else. And so, know, some of the best

54:45

ways to heal some of these issues

54:48

is getting outside. If there's something that's hard to But

54:50

if you read and you force yourself to read from somebody else's

54:52

point of view, it automatically you out of your own head

54:54

and put you somewhere else. I feel like it's totally

54:56

great job.

54:56

It actually I always say this, but it helps my

54:58

anxiety. If I'm feeling anxious and read, it, like,

55:01

does that and it helps my anxiety,

55:03

like, tremendously. Last but not

55:05

least, you have to confess something to

55:07

me. Oh, god. Something

55:09

embarrassing something you want to get off

55:12

your chest that has happened. I

55:14

don't know. I'm sure you have something with being new

55:16

parents, a confession,

55:25

I have an old one. It's an oldie but goodie. I've

55:27

told you. I set it on the Lady Game. Okay.

55:30

So

55:31

I wanted to, like, control

55:33

the narrative of what Michael was served. on

55:35

Instagram? What do you mean? Like, I just

55:37

wanted to control the narrative of what he was

55:39

served. Like, like, his content

55:41

on this for you, AJ. So Okay.

55:44

I get it. Alright. At three in the

55:46

morning, I went on his phone and followed six

55:48

thousand chihuahua accounts. Oh, chihuahua

55:50

fan, chihuahua lover, chihuahua four

55:53

twelve eight, twelve eighty two, twelve

55:56

underscore, twelve for life,

55:59

followed all these things accounts. at

56:01

three in the mornings. You want chihuahua? No.

56:03

I want his four u page to just teach chihuahas.

56:06

So now we just get served chihuahas. Did

56:08

he know this? Yeah. He knows

56:11

this. I I embedded it. I embedded it on the Lady

56:13

Games. What was your for

56:15

you page what was it before? It was like

56:17

business and watches and, like, guy stuff.

56:19

I just wanted to

56:20

Hey, studio house. How's your life?

56:22

Just wanted to make remind

56:24

him of -- studio house. -- his

56:26

life. because

56:27

he has two chihuahuas. Just chihuahuas. trying

56:29

to think out, like, what's been embarrassing

56:31

in the relationship or what's just been embarrassing

56:33

in my life.

56:34

Anything. Anything that comes to mind where you're

56:36

like, oh, that was really embarrassing.

56:38

besides being caught in the closet. Yeah.

56:41

So that

56:41

was more terrifying than embarrassing. Uh-huh. What's

56:44

been embarrassing whom?

56:45

You're so clean. It's like so

56:47

hard. What's embarrassing? I know what's embarrassing.

56:50

Tell me. You did the cold plunge the other day

56:52

and you came out of the cold punch and you showed

56:54

me your dick and it was literally in your body.

56:56

We'll see. But here's the thing. has a great penis.

56:58

But it's like the dick was like literally

56:59

so hot in your belly button. I guess

57:02

I what I showed you, I wasn't embarrassed. I was just like,

57:04

wow. I'm like, look at this. So look at what happens it.

57:07

I mean, listen, nothing like really like gets

57:09

tied in there once you go into that What what

57:10

mean? Let me tell you, boys. When you go in that

57:13

cold plunge, be prepared, I mean,

57:15

to have an in person. man, China. I

57:18

don't get that in I don't

57:18

really get like, I'm trying to think about, like, the last

57:21

time I was actually embarrassed. I

57:23

mean, I do a lot of embarrassing things, but

57:25

That's I feel the same way, like, really hard to embarrass

57:27

me. And every time I try and think of a confession, I'm like, I'm not

57:29

really embarrassed about it, but this could be, like, we

57:31

took off on the plane the other day, and my tampons rolled

57:34

all out of my purse down the plane. And I

57:36

was like, I get my

57:38

period She's, like,

57:39

she's, like Yeah. So

57:41

we've we've been doing stuff like this for such a long

57:43

time. So if you and feel like every all been

57:45

out there. And so it's hard so now I'm trying to think, like, okay, when

57:47

am I been embarrassed? So we've barge. So, like,

57:49

I mean, we've talked about our sex life. Yeah.

57:51

Ain't no So like, a god. Like,

57:53

what's that what am I embarrassed of? Maybe that's not

57:55

a good thing. Maybe I should be more embarrassed.

57:57

Okay. Well, something

57:59

that Just going

57:59

forward. I think in college, I was in

58:02

a kilth and I almost shit myself a little bit or I did shit myself

58:04

a little bit and had to run home from the party. That was

58:06

kind of embarrassing.

58:07

with them in college, I would never have won more like that.

58:09

That's not something wrong with that. He's just not a

58:11

kill kinda guy. Yeah. We're pretty open books. Yeah.

58:13

Really? That's fair. You had an inverted penis. Okay.

58:15

That's good. Follow Chihuahua account. on

58:17

your boyfriend. the balls are in my throat.

58:19

I would love to know it's on Jason's search account.

58:21

Mine's all like BOTOX and Bachelors people.

58:24

Co look and Meggitt Fox. Follow, like,

58:26

go and follow, like, something really random for

58:29

him. You can I'm just giving you random things to

58:31

follow. Yeah. You could follow, like,

58:33

Milton Bratton Mountain

58:35

Bradley games on his on his

58:37

Instagram. So all that he served is just

58:39

like board games. I'm

58:41

I feel like all Jason would be served as like numbers,

58:45

business opportunities, and numbers. Yeah.

58:47

I mean, he is a smart guy with me. Very smart.

58:49

Yeah. Very smart. If you could tell everybody where they

58:51

can listen to your podcast that we just finished, because that

58:53

was a fun episode That was a fun episode.

58:55

Katelyn was amazing, and she's been on three times.

58:57

It's the skinny confidential hymn in her podcast.

58:59

And if you want, I wanna give away pink balls and

59:02

the ice rollers. I would love to have that one.

59:04

You you make it up with to do. Okay. Well, let's

59:06

do what you did because I like that idea. So

59:08

what are they gonna what's the giveaway?

59:11

They are gonna win pink balls, a facial

59:13

massager that I'm giving you. It's gonna

59:15

spill I've wanted that. Okay. I know

59:18

we are, like, communicating. I just saw I forgot

59:20

send you one, but I send you an ice roller. Right? Yes. I

59:22

use it all the time. I have the way I bank. Ice

59:24

roller and pink balls. The only balls

59:26

you want on your face All you have to do is follow

59:28

out Lauren Bostic in the skinny confidential. Yes,

59:31

and you will be entered to win if you

59:33

comment on my Instagram your favorite

59:35

part of this episode. We love

59:37

it. I like this. And

59:39

Michael's just No. No.

59:40

For me. Don't follow Michael. It's all true always. No. No. For

59:42

me, I think, like, any obviously, this can't comment that you haven't

59:44

heard than anything the Dear Media Podcast

59:46

doing a lot of stuff over there. Yeah.

59:48

You guys are doing a lot of stuff. It's awesome. Thank

59:50

you. Yeah. You both have done a really great job. And

59:52

your branding for your stuff is just incredible.

59:54

Thanks. count. I'm really a Rosé. You

59:56

guys had to drink a glass.

59:57

It's dry. It's crisp. Go get it guys.

59:59

Delicious. Yeah. Thank you.

1:00:02

Thank you.

1:00:04

I'm Caitlin Russo.

1:00:04

I'll see you next Tuesday.

1:00:07

Thanks for listening to this week's

1:00:09

episode of Off The Vine.

1:00:11

Don't forget to rate, review, and follow

1:00:13

on your favorite podcast platform, and

1:00:16

we'll see you next Tuesday.

1:00:23

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