0:00

Am I the a-hole for saying I would not

0:02

care if my partner cheated on me? Dang, this

0:04

comes from pretendpayment9905 who says, not

0:07

an a-hole, but a cuck, but a cuck. Yesterday

0:10

we were hanging out with some friends

0:12

and the topic came to cheating and

0:14

relationships. When I was asked my

0:17

opinion, I told them I would not really

0:19

care if my girlfriend cheated on me. There

0:21

is not a real need to sulk over

0:23

it. It's just a girlfriend and cheating proves

0:26

the point that they are not the one.

0:28

So there's your nuance. Honestly, caught a fire.

0:30

It's the filter, right? Caught a fire. Filter

0:32

yourself out. From my point of view, life

0:35

is too short to get sad about these

0:37

things. In the end, cheating is not even

0:39

your fault. It's just cheaters trying to fill

0:41

the emptiness inside them or cover their insecurities

0:44

through physical or emotional acts with other people.

0:46

I clearly told them I would not even

0:48

need to get over it. In one of

0:50

my previous relationships, I was cheated on and

0:53

they were caught during the act. I

0:56

told them to just have

0:58

fun and left. Wow. My

1:00

man is stoic to the max. That is

1:02

honestly impressive. I don't know if I would

1:05

have that stoicism. I don't think so. Like

1:07

I agree with the philosophy, but just in

1:09

reality, removing your emotions that much is kind

1:11

of really hard. It's honestly sounds like he

1:13

doesn't have any emotions for that person in

1:15

the first place. Mm. Psychopath?

1:19

Maybe, dude. I don't know. This is

1:21

really crazy. Do you really love your girlfriend? I don't

1:24

know. I was taken aback by my

1:26

answer and asked if anything would change if it

1:28

was my wife instead of a girlfriend. And I

1:30

said no. What? Yo,

1:33

dude, this guy is cap. This guy is

1:35

so cap. This is great. I

1:37

would just divorce and we would go

1:39

our separate ways. There's no need to

1:41

prolong things and stay in a broken

1:44

marriage. Maybe he's like a Buddhist or

1:46

something, you know? And he's like, everything

1:48

that can and will happen will happen

1:50

and I am a vessel. He's reached

1:52

such a level of meditation that he's

1:54

just like, I am but a mere

1:56

speck of dust on the

1:58

ethereal flower that is The solar system

2:00

that was beautiful Iraq. So if I'm just

2:03

a piece of dust for why do I

2:05

care if it's other dust bite of go

2:07

in and make it does to so an

2:09

hour know a don't give a shit Swiffer

2:12

But what about with now who? What about

2:14

what Horton hears a who says village that

2:16

was on a.spec What about that Just another

2:18

does backed amongst amongst a million other Doesburg

2:21

galaxies. Why would I get? why would I

2:23

care of someone cheats on me with another.spec

2:25

be oh I care about Well as the

2:27

rest of the story of rice some said

2:30

would I not try marriage counseling first. I

2:32

answered no because there is no reason to

2:34

Marriage counseling should be done before the act

2:36

of cheating instead of after it agreed. If

2:39

cheating spouse has any problems they should communicate

2:41

them with the other partner and try to

2:43

solve it. If they cannot they should divorce

2:45

and cheating is never option. Doing marriage counseling

2:48

after infidelity is like a murderer. Going to

2:50

the murder scene to revive the victim with

2:52

the victim has to do most of the

2:55

work. The past. But

2:57

I love it as he has spilled. Different? Yeah,

3:00

bill yeah i think this dude is

3:02

just a straight the rock to straight

3:04

stone edge of ah yes easter egg

3:06

island is there a guy or easter

3:08

island israel and that easter egg alice

3:10

i'm going with easter egg i'll do

3:12

it wrong words today only guy who

3:14

wisdom and i do not care about

3:16

closer at all i do not care

3:18

about the reason people and especially my

3:20

girlfriend seem shocked by my answers and

3:23

has me amy emotions at all that's

3:25

what i'm wondering this guy's a psychopath

3:27

a fair question it is a fair

3:29

question i do have emotions it's just

3:31

that i do not see and necessary

3:33

to spend my emotional energy on something

3:35

i have no fault on or that

3:37

will hurt me does man gets sad

3:39

literally this dot watches titanic and was

3:41

like down with a good movie his

3:43

grandma died like to go die anyway

3:45

i was as he supposedly supposed to

3:48

die what you bigger rebels not going

3:50

to what is your live wherever you're

3:52

pretty etti and what a zombie grammy

3:54

life is too short to be bothered

3:56

by that girlfriend told me she does

3:58

not see me in the same light

4:00

anymore and thinks that I do

4:02

not value our relationship. She is

4:04

not talking to me now. Am

4:07

I the a-hole and we have some

4:09

relevant comments, but Sam, I think we

4:11

might need to dive into some conspiracy

4:14

theory territory. Conspiracy theory. Okay. So, but

4:16

I see in the comments, if you

4:18

see it before I'm about to say

4:20

it, there you go, Sam,

4:22

do you think that the girlfriend is

4:24

going to leave the relationship? I think

4:26

there is a real possibility. Yeah. So

4:28

she just realized that her partner is

4:30

a psychopath and doesn't have emotions. If

4:32

your boyfriend is a rock, do

4:35

you keep going? I would pause. I would

4:38

pause. Yeah. I would definitely pause and it

4:40

would be like, what would make you sad?

4:42

Do you have the capacity to have that

4:44

emotion? And do I want to be with

4:46

someone who doesn't have that capacity? A hundred

4:48

percent. Feels like a business transaction, almost as

4:50

that way, right? Yeah. The fact that you

4:52

would feel nothing if your partner, who you

4:55

should love, disrespects or lies

4:57

to you, like to say that you would

4:59

feel nothing makes me feel that you felt

5:01

nothing to be in with. So highly possible

5:03

that the girlfriend could leave on our conspiracy

5:05

theory. Where you leave? I

5:08

would pause. I would pause. I would

5:10

pause. It's pause-a-rooney. It's pause-a-rooney. You know,

5:12

pause. Pause. Yeah. Pause. But let's get

5:14

back to reality. Answering OP's question, is

5:16

OP the a-hole? I don't think it's

5:19

an a-hole. Like a psychopath isn't an

5:21

a-hole. They're just a psychopath. Do I

5:23

think OP is a psychopath? Maybe. But a-hole,

5:25

I don't think so. It's just being honest.

5:27

It's kind of like if you lived on

5:29

your own and you're an absolute slob and

5:32

a mess and everything, you're not an a-hole

5:34

because it's just you. But if you have

5:36

a roommate, then you're an a-hole. And I'm

5:38

not even throwing any subs. I would, I

5:40

would, I would say names if I was...

5:42

Yeah. Like if you like would continually just

5:44

break your washing machine, for example, and then

5:47

the whole house can't wash their clothes, then

5:49

you might be an a-hole. Or if you

5:51

like continually cook and you leave your pan in

5:53

the sink and you never, you know, clean it, then

5:55

you might be an a-hole. I'm the Switzerland of the

5:57

field. Those

6:00

are the shots going right by me. I'm catching nothing. I'm

6:03

catching no shrapnel. Riley and I live together by the way,

6:05

and we love each other. You can put the pieces together

6:07

on who's talking about who there. If Riley cheated on me,

6:09

I wouldn't give a shit. Ooh!

6:11

Ooh! I have something to

6:13

tell you. Oh

6:17

no. So, OP, not the A-hole. I don't think

6:19

A-hole. I'm saying not the A-hole. Again, again. I

6:21

don't think the A-hole. But you're in a relationship,

6:23

so is a psychopath an A-hole? Like, in your

6:25

analogy, a psychopath becomes an A-hole once they're in

6:27

a relationship. That's true. With the roommate. With the

6:29

roommate. The roommate has to also be a slob

6:32

of equal slobbiness. Yeah, yeah. Or know that they're

6:34

entering into a slob. Or disagree to entering into

6:36

a slob. He might not even know he's a

6:38

psychopath. That's true. He could be like, I'm the

6:40

cleanest person on Earth. Meanwhile, he's... Or

6:42

he's just like, wait, I thought everyone has apartments

6:45

like this. You know, I thought everyone like... That's

6:47

true. Just... We're

6:49

really fucking twisted in the knife of this

6:52

metaphor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to go

6:54

and understand what actually happens in this relationship.

6:56

Well, we're getting back... John, I have these

6:58

like bumps on my neck.

7:01

It kind of like, I don't know, feels like a rash.

7:03

I'm not sure if it's from surfing or if I have

7:05

like an infectious disease. Kind of gross. Kind

7:07

of gross. So I've been a little worried.

7:09

And I don't want to be worried anymore.

7:11

Yeah, you shouldn't be. You should fix it.

7:13

And I think there's one way to fix

7:16

it. It's going on ZocDoc, literally, right now

7:18

and searching for dermatologists near me. I actually

7:20

just found one. 2.8

7:22

miles away, has 4.91 stars, 169 views, and there's an appointment

7:24

tomorrow. What

7:28

are you doing here right now? I'm obviously

7:31

going to go to ZocDoc right this

7:34

second. Let's do it. ZocDoc is a

7:36

free app and website where you can

7:38

search and compare highly rated in-network docenters

7:40

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them online. And these docs all have

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talking about booking appointments with tens of

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thousands of top-rated patient-reviewed credible doctors and

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7:56

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8:00

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8:03

Sometimes even same day. I use

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ZocDoc, we use ZocDoc and you

8:08

should too. So go to zocdoc.com/OKOP

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and download the ZocDoc app for

8:12

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9:23

to some relevant comments real quick. From

9:26

Raingirl1-1 who says, not the a-hole, I have

9:28

a question though. If you caught your girlfriend

9:30

slash wife cheating, would you be hurt? If

9:32

someone you love leaves your life, there is

9:34

usually a period of grief. Question mark, would

9:36

you go through it or would you just

9:39

be carefree and happy the very next day?

9:41

Opie says, I caught them during the act in

9:43

one of my past relationships. I told them to

9:46

have fun. I just left their relationship. That is

9:48

such an insane thing. So he's carefree and happy the

9:50

next day. He is a psychopath. Psychopath. Psychopath.

9:54

Right? I Moved on with my life

9:56

as usual after that. There's no reason to get sad

9:58

for cheating. It means they are not. The one

10:00

for you. However, for one of my

10:02

past relationships I had to part ways

10:04

with my ex partner due to different

10:06

life choices. I felt sad because the

10:08

relationship ended in grieved. What matters for

10:10

me is how it ended. If it's

10:12

due to cheating or betrayal I just

10:14

do not see the need to get

10:16

sad. One of the life choices I

10:18

want to know more Clyde like that

10:21

is of pages Answer: it is history

10:23

I chose to not be receive ready

10:25

for that is my life Toys Yeah

10:27

what is it Yeah was like I

10:29

mean technically sitting. On your partner is

10:31

a life choice. That is true every

10:33

in a toys me pick it up

10:35

this know I'm is a life choice.

10:37

Me talking into the microphone doesn't like

10:39

toys is so it's for his is

10:41

it's own move with the federal appellate

10:44

though. you know you not I see

10:46

you. For

10:48

those who use a gun at the movie would have

10:50

thought of that were on their cleaned off a don't

10:52

do the. So

10:54

Queen Doc says sad feelings are going

10:57

to be sad until processed. That's the

10:59

point now. he said he'd never process

11:01

the emotions and move on he said

11:03

he just be like cake and end

11:05

of the girlfriend is upset that he

11:07

is saying that he wouldn't grieve the

11:10

end of something that until that point

11:12

would have seemed to have been working

11:14

okay the lack of grief in the

11:16

scenario he is presenting is what concerns

11:18

the girlfriend because if you don't grieve

11:20

the loss of something seats you even

11:22

love it to begin with snaps in

11:24

the sats for that sad is the

11:26

question opie i would like to be

11:28

take an end it if i were

11:31

to be cheated on let's say we

11:33

had a part ways due to different

11:35

choices in life tell the what choices

11:37

what that is so vague oh i

11:39

know he added fitness fff up nicely

11:41

for to have that you for years

11:43

and bagged in a man i don't

11:45

have suffered see a besides iraq i

11:47

would cherish the memories of his relationship

11:50

and grieve for at ending however if

11:52

there is cheating involved i just move

11:54

on there's no need to get sad

11:56

that opiates just like we're breathing just

11:58

like that is no need is that

12:00

okay I've gotten zero more context since

12:02

then I would completely agree with you

12:05

here context I don't know what he's

12:07

I really I think I think it's

12:09

like trying to make up reasons that

12:11

people should think he's not a psychopath

12:13

forcing the logic to try and like

12:16

make it make sense it doesn't make

12:18

sense Opie on not being emotionally invested

12:20

into his girlfriend and not care about

12:22

the facts of being cheated on Opie

12:25

says it is just not the romantic

12:27

relationships if my friend betrays me in

12:29

an unforgivable manner I take losses and

12:31

end the relationship too so basically he

12:33

would cut ties the same way and

12:35

kind of like see he just he

12:37

doesn't feel emotions in the same way

12:40

like other people do I think that's

12:42

what's happened I think we can diagnosis

12:44

heck yeah what are we diagnosed where

12:46

you dude where are you going I

12:48

know you know what you're talking about

12:51

over there I can empathize with people

12:53

I get sad when my friends feel

12:55

down I get sad when my loved

12:57

ones get hurt however there's no need

12:59

to get sad over something that you

13:01

have zero fault over oh he's like

13:03

totally empathize people so instead I get

13:05

sad I swear yeah I'm so sad

13:07

here I just squeeze it out I

13:14

just forced my I Jesus to make it work is

13:17

it I love someone until they betray me

13:19

after that there is no need to prolong

13:21

the relationship why work on getting back together

13:23

with a cheater you say prolong the relationship

13:25

that's how you know you're a psychopath it's

13:28

really on a final note I strictly hold

13:30

my values I do not cheat I do

13:32

not betray and I do not intentionally hurt

13:34

people and there is an update also I

13:37

would like to be clear you could be

13:39

a good psychopath I guess that is technically

13:41

possible I've met a couple like

13:43

legitimate psychopaths and like I met

13:45

a guy that fantasize about killing

13:47

people but he has a strong

13:49

moral coat and like just because

13:51

Wow getting real

13:54

all right

13:56

yeah I'm locked in All

14:00

right, go ahead. He has a strong moral

14:02

code and it's like just because you are

14:04

born with a brain that is very different

14:07

like it honestly is more Moral

14:10

and and I think like it should be

14:12

more lauded for a person to be Moral

14:15

actor in the face of tendencies

14:17

that would maybe push them towards

14:19

immoral behavior And so in this

14:21

case this guy doesn't seem like

14:23

he necessarily Feels

14:25

emotions in the same way but still has

14:27

a strong moral compass of like I know

14:29

what is right and what is wrong And

14:31

I'm still going to do that Even though

14:33

it's divorced from me like being personally affected

14:35

by that most people when they do something

14:38

bad to someone else feel bad Yeah, right

14:40

and that's like their moral their moral compass

14:42

is like I feel like when I do

14:44

this I'm not gonna do it again But

14:46

with this person it's like an intellectual moral

14:48

compass. I agree The only danger here is

14:50

like you really got to find someone who

14:53

is that like exact same like type and

14:55

mindset as you because otherwise They're

14:57

gonna feel like the girlfriend is feeling right now and

14:59

maybe not feel reciprocated different question

15:02

Do you want to be in a relationship with someone like

15:04

that? I know I don't know if I do I

15:06

don't I don't think I do I may have been in a

15:08

relationship Potentially potentially potentially

15:11

it was great enough said it was

15:13

a good relationship. Ladies and gentlemen, we

15:15

have an update Let's get it. So

15:17

my girlfriend broke up with me on

15:20

a phone call this morning We saw

15:22

it. We saw it. We saw you.

15:24

She did not speak to me at

15:26

all before I tried to

15:28

explain to her what I said would be

15:31

applicable only in a case of cheating and

15:33

I value our relationship I read most of

15:35

the comments on the original post and tried

15:37

to clarify everything that people pointed out Did

15:39

people say he's a psychopath from our relevant

15:42

comments? No, but I think they were kind

15:44

of Specifically digging in on the like would

15:46

you not even feel hurt? Like I get

15:48

like not like trying to like spend your

15:50

time on it But like and then he

15:52

just kept saying no, No, no.

15:54

In the end It did not work

15:56

and I was blocked. Funny how I

15:58

do not feel. That when the other

16:01

party cheats on me and I can

16:03

move on. But when it's a reason

16:05

like that I feel sad and hurt.

16:07

So O P is seemingly sad part

16:09

and said okay buddy where we thought

16:12

he may be couldn't feel ya as

16:14

he just said try to appease us

16:16

our a ah I think the approved.

16:18

I feel like that only for teething.

16:20

Losing our relationship for something like that

16:22

feels surreal. It is upsetting. do we

16:25

believe Opie as for a pretty better

16:27

reason to to lose a relationship or

16:29

heists? Yeah, like. You would it be

16:31

sad if we broke up so I

16:33

breaking up with you which has made

16:35

you said yes while maybe the most

16:37

full circle sorry we have never are

16:40

at that is a crazy of that

16:42

the crazy real I've is like that

16:44

get wise he would have broken up

16:46

yes by in breaking up with him

16:48

she has proven it's like when they

16:50

like would bird which is you know

16:52

it's like oh if the weeds floats

16:54

see the weights fc drowns is not

16:56

always liked the which is still that

16:58

damned if you do. Daves the I don't

17:01

Do damned if you don't know the same situation

17:03

this is tough. Do we think that Opie telling

17:05

the truth that actually feel fat or as he

17:07

just like being like see I told you I'm

17:10

on a sense I feel it might be a

17:12

little the performative but I think my current theory

17:14

as of right now is that obe he does

17:16

this not out of stoic this but out of

17:18

pettiness. So he once the other person to be

17:21

like look how on bothered by I'm like god

17:23

you think I care You think I value this

17:25

at all I think it's like he's like a

17:27

little way of getting a little bit of petty.

17:30

revenge i think it's not that deep as

17:32

he as a psychopath bill or do as

17:34

they put your as is the guy was

17:36

blow let us know we'll have to now

17:39

i think it's best if i keep my

17:41

ds to must have in the future not

17:43

sure i can do that though given i

17:45

am very straightforward get don't say might die

17:47

the bad and good experiences in the past

17:50

make up current us this break up will

17:52

be one of the bad experiences that will

17:54

make the future me and honestly when i

17:56

think about it that is really bothered me

17:58

wishes that about Yeah, when he really

18:01

like it be It's

18:04

supposed to happen. Why would I be? Yeah,

18:08

come on point however I tried to

18:10

explain myself and mend the relationship I

18:12

believe it's best to move on and

18:14

learn from it life goes on he

18:17

basically just said what we mockingly just

18:19

yeah Oh, no funny. Oh,

18:21

he's predictable of anything Thank you

18:23

for the advice and we're closing

18:25

out with a final relevant comment

18:28

from initial czg Who

18:30

says they tried to shame you into being

18:32

upset about being hypnotically cheated on I think

18:34

they probably said something like if you don't

18:37

care if I have sex with her girlfriend

18:39

right now Do you really like her

18:41

yourself opie? I mean if they do they

18:43

are not my girlfriend anymore at that point

18:46

They are free to do what they want

18:48

just wish them have fun and move on

18:51

Opie is the most rock of a human

18:54

I have ever witnessed in my life. He

18:56

doesn't feel emotions This is a dude that

18:58

don't feel emotions. He's Batman Batman feels

19:00

emotions Batman gets that yeah the bathroom

19:04

Yeah, dude. Have you not see you? Are

19:07

you seeing your Batman I? Can't

19:10

see Riley at all so oh no however

19:12

you've lost sight wait can we order a

19:14

mirror and put it on top of the

19:16

printer? That's pretty fun. Oh, that's what okay.

19:18

Yeah, that seems solvable. That seems solvable okay?

19:20

I'm a fun one, but yeah I think

19:22

that opie the way that opie is sad

19:24

is like oh, I can't like spend time

19:26

with you anymore I can't hang out like

19:28

I'm kind of losing out the same way

19:30

if you like lose a job that you love you

19:33

get laid off You're like oh, man. I love like

19:35

going here spending time like it's more So it's not

19:37

like the emotional connection to the person. He's missing

19:40

It's like the like what he gets out of

19:42

it that he's missing exactly which I think is

19:44

a very different way of Looking

19:46

at a partner then most partners would want

19:48

to be looked at yes And for that

19:50

reason I'm out well there you go But

19:54

Sam, but John could I invest in this

19:57

next story 15% for five? $10,000

20:00

steel I Found

20:05

it this podcast isn't rated five stars.

20:07

Well, it's your own damn ball. You

20:09

got two thumbs in a brain Or

20:21

wherever you get your podcasts