0:00

Oh, by the a whole for refusing to

0:02

let my neighbor's kid play with my daughter.

0:04

Weird choice of words. Yes, this comes from

0:06

low professional. Eighty two, Forty Four. Who says?

0:09

My daughter has been friends with the daughter

0:11

of a coworker of mine since pre nursery.

0:13

Fine as long as the other kids around

0:16

the same age and not forty five. Direct.

0:20

Ah, but they were in the same playgroup,

0:22

same nursery and are now in the same

0:24

primary school has Save it, Get Or This

0:26

girl has developmental issues and can't interact with

0:28

others her age. She clings to my daughter

0:30

and won't let her play with other children.

0:32

He has bitten and throw things that my

0:34

daughter in the past when she doesn't get

0:36

her full attention. The. School is trying to

0:39

set up a plan for but in the

0:41

meantime he has to attend regular school with

0:43

no assistant to give her the help she

0:45

needs as the previous assistant laughed. My.

0:49

Coworker lives on the same street as me and is

0:51

it a senior role? Which. Is why

0:53

I have generally try to make excuses

0:55

for her daughter to not come to

0:57

our place because she's a biter. Cause

0:59

she's a biter. She's throwing thing we

1:01

got a biter, got a biter. I

1:04

have outright lied on a few occasions

1:06

saying that my daughter's ill and I

1:08

found out yesterday that she has kept

1:10

a log of all the times I

1:12

refuse to have her daughter over at

1:14

my play. That's crazy. That. It

1:17

reminds me of like that law that one

1:19

guy captive every time his wife rejected him

1:21

first. Oh.

1:23

I forgot to. I forgot about that.

1:25

Yeah that yeah I did they that

1:28

that this is feels like. Save.

1:30

Same energy. Also, it sucks because this

1:32

isn't just a neighbor. this is a

1:34

senior ranking official at. Your. Company

1:36

Now. So. I will

1:39

have fires you'd your current, don't hang

1:41

out with my daughter, your careers potentially

1:43

all the Lord Brahma like for real.

1:45

Oh if with his daughter grows up

1:47

it's like a like and the truth

1:49

comes out. As I got,

1:51

we only hang out with you because

1:53

your dad pays my dad. Ouch.

1:56

Which. You. Know. Teenage.

1:58

Girl years. That could

2:00

be good enough for a world her. I could be

2:02

going world of her. So. She

2:05

came by knocking on my door to drop

2:07

her off after a few hours as she

2:09

had heard from her daughter that my daughter

2:11

was having a get together with her friends.

2:14

Morocco, And

2:16

you're not Vidal. Oh

2:19

wow. I tried

2:21

to nicely deny that telling her my

2:23

daughter was feeling poorly What? she actually

2:26

pulled a log saying she knew which

2:28

girl, that which girls had entered my

2:30

home and to let her daughter. I.

2:33

Was mad at that is

2:35

absolutely insane violation I feel

2:37

that could potentially. Or

2:39

is a fireball? but it's weird. Yeah, do

2:42

you do reports as the Hr. Who.

2:44

Yeah that feeling two and a know too

2:46

much or too much to like yeah my

2:48

face let's let's see maybe they're maybe was

2:50

even more like line crossing that we can

2:53

easier on. I was mad at her so

2:55

I lost her out and told her they

2:57

wouldn't be playing. Any. She

2:59

was talking through the door demanding to know

3:01

why I wouldn't let her play with her

3:03

best friend. I. Told her I

3:05

understood her desperation but that due to

3:07

pass incidence I thought it was no

3:09

longer safe for them to share the

3:12

same space and I would let the

3:14

school now that I was not okay

3:16

with them always pairing them up on

3:18

projects as my daughter has always been

3:20

the nice girl and done what the

3:22

teachers had holds or and made their

3:24

lives easier. By. Doing work for them,

3:27

So I guess maybe she's

3:29

also. The maybe they're a little

3:31

older than I thought I guess primary

3:33

school solo and like early elementary school

3:35

where he be in are little obstacle

3:37

may be. also the ah. The

3:40

the neighbor's daughter is like having her

3:42

do her school work and like other

3:44

things. it is generally way cause we

3:46

know the neighbor's daughter has had developmental

3:48

issues so maybe it's not keeping up

3:50

with all glassware and me Basically it's

3:52

like a big burden on oh peace

3:54

daughter Lp is I I kind of

3:56

behavior do in the work for to

3:58

you could excel the ladies the years

4:00

I the you make you make a

4:02

point hard argue they are. You make

4:04

a point aren't aren't as I go

4:06

running with sandbags so fast we take

4:08

those things off. That is true and

4:10

this daughter is like one bag and

4:12

Sam back. I understand that she was

4:14

angry and perhaps exhausted. Greer exhaustion is

4:16

a real thing but I felt in

4:18

that moment that watching her a few

4:20

times a week for years and making

4:22

my under age daughter her caretaker to

4:24

be highly unfair. My. Coworker as

4:26

two adult children that live close by

4:28

and she and she has children that

4:30

are older than this girl from her

4:33

second husband she lives with. Why can't

4:35

she arranged between them or find her

4:37

a support group? To this? she made

4:39

a mask threat that she's good friends

4:41

with. My. Senior Manager

4:44

Speak to your manager

4:46

she's I like spread

4:48

work friends. Who. They worked

4:50

at the same place so I mean

4:52

goes go speak to the man's or

4:54

see what happens. Go since

4:57

I feel like oh pleases me to the

4:59

manager. I think I think so. I am.

5:01

Now. We have both like

5:03

that the. The. Issue with

5:06

their children and a. The.

5:08

Rats and get some. Who gets him read

5:10

receipts? Get some, Get some recedes, Get some

5:12

he them some of this weird behavior caught

5:14

on tape. See you know. You.

5:16

Can go to the manager be like. I.

5:19

Don't like what's happening Yeah I would go

5:21

like get the door camera like get a

5:23

door camera to record our have sure and

5:26

then bring that may be to hr. Ooops

5:28

a manager and I read all that stuff. I

5:30

do regret it a little as this girl has

5:33

no other friends. Yeah that's the part of sucks

5:35

here is is like this poor girl. She's.

5:38

Probably going through a hard time. And.

5:42

But Opie is like after years of the

5:44

burden kind of being placed on us it's

5:46

not our responsibility wish I years or years

5:48

which I do think is ultimately to it's

5:51

just kind of like it. If it sucks

5:53

for everyone it's subtle with the i think

5:55

it sucks even more after you is our

5:57

see sucks more that Opie was the. The

6:00

sky. Initially because now.

6:03

This. The Fisher, who

6:05

is a senior person's

6:07

daughter is attached. Dopey.

6:10

Daughter A any been he's been taken. it

6:12

really took advantage of an eye on to

6:14

present the days my daughter is. Nine schools

6:16

do to actual illness is no into play

6:19

with and often after an illness or absence

6:21

her teachers have told her that they are

6:23

glad she's back to play with this girl.

6:25

It is. A. Weird situation.

6:27

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6:30

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And gentlemen, we. have a flurry

8:02

of relevant comments to read, but

8:04

before we do that, Sam,

8:07

we've kind of already hinted at this, but I'm

8:10

curious what you and everyone in the comments have to

8:12

suggest to OP. Is

8:14

OP the a-hole? Yes,

8:16

A is OP the a-hole, and

8:19

two, your suggestion as of right

8:21

now. My first question is, has

8:23

the daughter expressed that

8:26

she's uncomfortable with the friendship? That's

8:29

a good question. Because if

8:32

they're just hanging out and

8:34

the daughter hasn't said anything, and

8:38

this kid isn't just an occasional

8:40

biter, like

8:42

maybe for some people getting bitten isn't a

8:44

big thing. Yeah, no, I

8:46

mean, maybe some people even like biting. I think

8:48

it's a great point that he should sit down

8:50

with his daughter and be like, hey, are

8:53

you, yeah, like, oh, how was

8:56

the play date and kind of just try to

8:58

really like dig in and see how his daughter

9:00

actually, because maybe also I think the other issue

9:02

could be that she's too nice to say anything

9:04

bad and she's like a kid. It

9:06

could be she's too nice or it could be

9:08

maybe she genuinely likes hanging

9:11

out with this person and OP

9:13

is like taking that away. That

9:17

is such a great point. I

9:20

don't think I heard anything in this story

9:22

referencing what the daughter actually

9:24

felt. I 100% agree. And

9:27

I think that the OP needs to

9:29

like sit down multiple times because I

9:31

imagine it might take some, some

9:34

like patience and coaxing to get

9:37

how the daughter truly feels. But

9:40

it is whack for the

9:42

work friend of senior work person

9:45

to keep a log every time.

9:47

Yeah, they are doing way too

9:49

much and they like to OP's point and is

9:51

like empathetic, like, hey, they're probably desperate because it's

9:53

like, no one else will play with her. No

9:55

one else will play with her. No one else.

9:58

No One else has given her the time of day. The

10:00

assistant that was are there to help

10:02

is now gone to they have the

10:04

several months the gap where there's like.

10:06

No. One like really trained it

10:09

sounds like to help their daughter.

10:11

So like I, I very much

10:13

empathize with their situation and that

10:15

they are probably like really wanting.

10:18

Someone. To be there to support

10:20

their daughter? Yeah, but that also. The.

10:22

Also the same time doesn't mean that

10:25

ah oh oh pieces of it will

10:27

be daughter has to be saddled with

10:29

that the as possibility I think i

10:31

the other parent is the a whole.

10:34

For the list. Yeah, I

10:36

think oh pc a whole if they have

10:38

a good source of their own daughter about

10:40

the relationships. I've

10:42

only their of the daughters the whole because

10:44

get them, they're just been adorable and been

10:46

adorable. Give my possibly biting maybe maybe the

10:49

biting one is a little that the a

10:51

who for biting my honestly like depending on

10:53

the set we don't know the full scope

10:55

of the situation but. I.

10:57

Think to when or is it ok to bite another person?

11:00

When. They ask. Us. To. Thank.

11:03

You rarely fell. Mcdonalds you Dirty Dogs was

11:05

going to do a going to number one

11:07

document everything that happened, how she's keeping a

11:09

log what the after she is off the

11:11

rails, her threat and send it to each

11:13

are a cover your ass. Make sure you

11:15

include everything can think of. Keeping a black

11:17

and white and professional aka not emotional. Great

11:19

advice As for the school, call them and

11:21

tell them exactly what you told her that

11:23

at that's also a great point at the

11:25

school involved is not fair to your daughter

11:28

that she's Boyd into the does in his

11:30

position at all. She must be dreading seeing

11:32

this girl at this point. Opie

11:34

Response: The two main teachers they

11:36

have in her class praise my

11:38

daughter and keep putting her in

11:40

a position of carer. I.

11:43

Intend to talk to someone higher up as I

11:45

think it's about time she gets her own life

11:47

and they find someone with the my skills. look

11:49

after that girl. Agreed

11:51

Agreed: isolate those developmental

11:54

issues. Yes, Totally oleander

11:56

sense. I. Was your daughter that was

11:58

forced to partner up and play with the kid

12:00

for a year before I finally broke down to

12:02

my mom about how miserable I was. The.

12:05

Teacher didn't tell my mom I was being

12:07

used as an emotional support toy. My God

12:09

it's fun with this guy that are for

12:11

that kid and pushed back while my mom

12:13

put an end to it. It was hell

12:15

for me. Please do advocate for your daughter

12:17

with her school. You're doing the right things.

12:20

the mother being in a senior role at

12:22

your work. I would contact Hr if I

12:24

were you to Not a whole teachers are

12:26

harming your kid by allowing this and frankly

12:28

taking a lazy option over getting super in

12:30

place to help the other child and the

12:32

other mother is stalking a kid. That.

12:34

Is not okay. Opie replies i think

12:36

I have let it go on. Board

12:39

Bar. Too long did you ever forgive

12:41

your parents for not noticing the commenter

12:43

to? oh absolutely especially once they realize

12:45

they acted and you can act To

12:47

Opie, Thank you! I have already had

12:50

a conversation with her yesterday. I think

12:52

I need of I think I need

12:54

to have a follow conversation with her

12:56

and apologize again for not noticing her

12:58

discomfort earlier and putting a stop to

13:00

this. I still feel for my coworkers

13:02

child but need to prioritize my own.

13:05

The. Maybe were reading a little bit between the lines

13:07

with maybe there was some sort of. Communication

13:09

with the daughter. To get a

13:11

sense of how the solar is there anything we read of the

13:13

being. Nothing in what was

13:15

it? I

13:17

think I need it.o these as I think I need

13:20

to have a follow up conversation with her. Which.

13:22

Implies that there is was a congress, has some

13:24

sort of communication that seems that least. Someone

13:27

shares their own child. Similar

13:29

experience. Become. To says thank

13:32

you for sharing this. My daughter cried

13:34

last night in my arms and told

13:36

me how stressing it was for her

13:39

to hang out with only this girl.

13:41

Okay, okay so it sounds like Obe

13:43

actually does know their daughter and does

13:45

know that their daughter is not having

13:48

a tough yes this is a nother

13:50

Comments: the someone who's going through

13:52

a very close injury okay isis is not

13:54

as is not of yes yes ah but

13:56

she says that she has had a lot

13:58

of headaches and as them as what

14:01

I would know to be tension headaches. No

14:03

child her age should have tension headaches. That

14:05

is true. She told

14:07

me that most days she doesn't look forward

14:09

to going to school now and I understand

14:11

why her performance has dipped lately. She also

14:13

told me which teacher always pairs her up

14:16

with this girl. I am

14:18

blessed to have a well-behaved girl that cares

14:20

about others but she thought wrongly it was

14:22

her responsibility to look after this girl and

14:24

felt guilty for

14:26

having other friends. Ouch. I

14:29

wished I had noticed it before and put

14:31

a stop to it earlier. And

14:33

there's a note there was no

14:35

consensus on if

14:38

OP was the a-hole or not but the

14:41

comments generally said not the a-hole.

14:43

Does the comments agree with us

14:45

generally? Generally, generally that is

14:47

what it seems. But the robots

14:49

might not. Exactly. But,

14:52

John, you think this play date

14:54

is freaking over? It's not. You're

14:57

wrong! I'm wrong. We have so

14:59

much more. So

15:01

let's get into it. I'm ready. On to the

15:03

update which is the very next day. Whoa! I

15:06

know. I had a

15:08

meeting today with a school because I had to stay

15:11

behind for my sick child and

15:13

phoned the principal directly in the morning to get to

15:15

talk to him for an urgent matter. Your kid is

15:17

sick a lot. That is true. Like

15:20

better help. Between the fake sickness and the real

15:22

sickness and she'd have sick too much. How is

15:24

this going to have any time for school? Maybe

15:27

the boss person was just like,

15:29

oh I just want to keep

15:31

track of your kids health for

15:34

you. Yeah, like I'm concerned that you're... I'm concerned.

15:36

Your kids are not doing so great. The

15:38

principal asked me to come in for an informal

15:40

chat after school. I haven't had

15:42

a lot to do with him in the past but

15:44

he seemed civil back when we first enrolled our daughter

15:46

and he came to greet the class. He

15:49

invited her teachers too. After hearing out

15:51

my side and what had happened he

15:53

listened to the teachers. They Said

15:56

they understood that my daughter was overwhelmed but

15:58

thought it would be bullying. If

16:00

she refused to work with her. Both.

16:03

That bullying if someone is want to hang out

16:05

with you. Yeah. I I call

16:07

the social higher used to it.

16:09

I think that they're v at

16:11

the bottom to get used to

16:13

eating us. I. Think this is

16:16

the school. Swiping all

16:18

of the responsibility on the

16:20

child's. Stereo. And

16:22

a widow wanna. Give. Any aid

16:24

to this kid that obviously needs it

16:27

had. We don't want to get labeled

16:29

as. Bullying. So.

16:31

Let's just get a child

16:34

labor. And

16:40

like this this more girls like education

16:42

like maybe her greatest are slipping like

16:45

a commenters. Who knows, What?

16:47

Other not a balance. It. Has

16:49

found sense of amp are you

16:52

for would you have your child

16:54

to same same themes into the

16:57

into the real life immersion parenting

16:59

yeah he add. Your. Child instantly

17:01

has a child's like you give him like a

17:03

little like back in the old days For the

17:06

my dad was one to ten. You. Think

17:08

after for. The

17:11

parents are raising those kids Know it's

17:13

kids raising. that's that's true. It's kids.

17:15

Raising kids is raising kids and they

17:17

all you have enough kids. The kids

17:19

raised themselves. Food Ah good enough job

17:21

with the first one trickle down apparent

17:23

to upon him as older and I

17:26

thought of as children. did my brothers

17:28

do not beliefs instruments. Don't

17:30

know how play instruments. You know how to play instruments

17:32

because you. Know. Because me, but

17:34

it's my parenting trickle down. What

17:37

exactly? Would. have just said i

17:39

try to apply it to my own

17:41

lives didn't make sense of than a

17:43

year on it they make sense whatsoever

17:45

know what he did big sadness but

17:47

i just read about my larger the

17:49

didn't mixes these did your parents teach

17:51

you something that you'd taught you're you're

17:53

younger siblings yes that it did make

17:55

a you go because i'd use a

17:57

bad example knows what's up our i

17:59

ever Stop the pain and get back to the story,

18:01

okay? Stop the cycle. They

18:03

thought it would be bullying if she refused

18:06

to work with her, saying that they rather

18:08

my daughter does her best to include her

18:10

inactivity at school and then gets free time

18:12

from her when she goes home. Yeah, like

18:15

at nine to five. All right. Yeah,

18:18

when she glacks off, she's good to go. Your

18:20

time is your own after 5 p.m. Dude,

18:22

oh my God. But when you're here, you're

18:24

on the clock. You punch in, you punch

18:27

out. Oh, in other

18:29

words, I didn't even catch this, but in other

18:31

words, they wanted to put the blame on me

18:33

for allowing the other girl into our home

18:36

while wanting to continue to use my

18:39

daughter as her assistant. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

18:41

yeah. You put her on

18:43

the clock after school. Yeah, she's like, we

18:45

let her go. We give her

18:47

off time and then you let the kid in again and

18:50

made her go over time. Over

18:52

time, yeah. Over time, wow. So

18:54

you're the ADO. Ooh, wow, dude,

18:56

3D chess, 4D chess. So

18:58

they tried to praise her for her efforts to

19:01

include and guide this other girl. It got on

19:03

my nerves and I told them in no uncertain

19:05

terms that my daughter was not to be expected

19:07

to do their jobs for them. Luckily,

19:09

the principal intervened and agreed with me that

19:12

they needed another plan for this girl. Yes,

19:14

they need to hire this other person, honestly.

19:16

That's when they need to prioritize. Before leaving.

19:21

Paid child labor, here we go. That's even better. Before

19:24

leaving, I told them that my solicitor would

19:26

send them a letter on what had happened

19:28

and what had been discussed and in the

19:30

future to not pair her up with this

19:33

girl. I much rather they move

19:35

this girl out of the class than my

19:37

daughter has, oh, Opie does wanna fire this

19:39

girl. Opie

19:42

wants the problem girl to

19:44

be removed from the classroom. Opie would

19:47

prefer that she is out

19:49

of the classroom over

19:52

Opie's daughter being the one that is like her

19:54

quote unquote caretaker. Well,

19:56

yeah, duh. Or quote unquote assistance. Yeah,

19:58

she doesn't care about this. I Asked

20:02

me a question I answer like yeah,

20:04

ah you freaking idiot. I'm like you

20:07

asked me the question Die

20:11

to you Now

20:24

apologize Hey

20:30

I Rebuke

20:36

your candy gift I

20:50

Said oh wow you just have to give me a

20:52

candy then he hands it to me. I Rebuke

20:56

your candy I Are

21:01

you no no yeah, right

21:03

dude that was so for you Yeah, why

21:05

would it be for me because you picked

21:07

it up on your way

21:09

you and only if I Pick

21:12

up flowers for my girlfriend on my way to

21:14

see her. No, is that

21:16

the worst thing for him? This is that

21:18

for me. I am being so gas lamps right now He

21:22

picked you up in Santa Flower

21:24

Riley Riley tell me I think you up flowers

21:26

and you just threw it in my face I've

21:29

kind of in the middle, but we're not you

21:31

guys you have her because I I literally went

21:33

down pick up candy and said for You it

21:35

was a little selfish, but then he called you

21:37

out on it. Then you said for you Because

21:40

I didn't have time to give it to him. I

21:42

don't know. I'm stopping there. It's up in

21:44

the air What do you guys see? What did you

21:46

guys see put a pole in the jet makes for

21:48

a great moment though? I don't even want it's candy

21:52

Now you don't for him Riley

21:55

How many times we've been seeing him popping the

21:57

candies that during his story after a story? You

22:01

have been doing it a few times. After or before

22:03

totally. I agree. After

22:05

or before. I've seen three today. Which makes sense, they're great candies.

22:08

This is for you. I will take it. Only

22:11

because I like the games so much. And I

22:13

knew that, which is why on my way to give you

22:15

a hug, I did a second

22:17

nice thing. I

22:19

stacked my nicenessness. Anyway,

22:22

the point is, I

22:25

can pick it up right here. I

22:27

forgive you. I forgive you. Would you start

22:29

stepping over again? If

22:31

anything, I forgive you. Oh,

22:36

baby. Look. Well,

22:39

now they're moved. Now actually,

22:41

now we have no way of knowing

22:43

whether or not you were within kdvc distance or

22:46

not. How do you think I tore it

22:48

and picked it up in the first place? How

22:51

do you think I did? How do you think I picked

22:53

it up? I moved out because

22:55

they were in reach. I think they were in the same

22:57

place they were in the beginning. Not

23:00

right now, obviously. So what you're saying, what you're saying,

23:02

this is what you're saying. By

23:05

me going up and giving you a hug and

23:07

then on my way getting

23:09

a lolly. That

23:12

was for me, even though I could

23:15

have gotten it right here. Yes. That's

23:17

what I'm saying. How? How

23:19

would that make sense? Because you're a brainer. How

23:21

would that make sense? As you were standing up, you were like, oh, I

23:24

should get one of these. You grabbed it and

23:26

you're like, damn it. Why did I grab it now? Instead

23:29

of grabbing it later. I could have grabbed it anytime.

23:32

And then you were like, all

23:34

you said is a peace offering. Boom.

23:36

Here you go. Peace. Peace

23:40

be upon you. Peace. We'll

23:42

go to you. I think that's

23:44

what happened. You are bastardizing a moment

23:49

of pure beauty. A moment we

23:51

could have shared. Now you're

23:53

eating the candy. Oh my gosh. I was

23:56

eating it while we were finishing our great banter moment. Take

23:59

another. Oh my

24:01

watch I will take another anyways anyways

24:03

I much rather they move this girl

24:05

out of the class than my daughter

24:07

as She made a few

24:09

friends in this class I also told them

24:11

that I was taking this issue to HR

24:14

as it was a combined issue in

24:16

both the public and private sphere Oh,

24:18

that's every sphere dude hitting all the

24:20

spheres here's like dude spheres these little

24:22

candies no I

24:25

text your mother and she takes me back She

24:29

stupidly confirmed the log and other

24:31

things including wanting to encourage my

24:33

daughter to hang with hers. Oh

24:37

Caught in 4k It

24:42

should be smooth sailing with HR

24:45

here we go Solicitor

24:47

was contacted before I went to the

24:49

school So let's sitter advised to write

24:51

a letter to the school as someone

24:53

else had advised in terms of my

24:55

child being bullied Into being

24:57

a carrier a letter was

24:59

drafted for HR 2 and the conversation

25:01

I had overtax with her mother for

25:03

evidence. I will be giving it

25:05

to HR Monday morning Dude, this is

25:08

open shut case open and

25:10

shut ankle and short Boom

25:12

I also sent my senior manager a heads up

25:14

about what was happening in case she tried to

25:17

shield for her friend Cuz she could go to

25:19

the senior manager and be like, oh Opie

25:21

so terrible and blah blah blah blah blah She's

25:24

about to tell you a lie Mentioned

25:27

solicitor and how the case was

25:29

going to progress with the school

25:31

admin. She seemed to come across

25:33

supportive I have told my daughter

25:35

to let the teacher know loud and clear that

25:37

she won't work with this girl if they pair

25:40

her up And she report back to me every

25:42

time they try to do it we

25:44

will see what comes of it now and if

25:47

the school will keep up their end of The

25:50

bargain I have a conspiracy

25:52

theory. What is your conspiracy theory?

25:55

Is it that a simple

25:57

Pierce offering was used as

25:59

a mean? of self-aggrandizement and

26:01

pleasure? No, I think that...

26:03

Let me... I'll use a

26:05

physical example. A

26:07

line was crossed not only in the

26:09

private sphere, but also in

26:11

the public sphere. Two

26:13

spheres that have been crossed. But

26:16

what about the public-private sphere? I

26:19

forgot about that one. The privately public sphere. That

26:22

is one that I did not consider. Okay, it

26:24

probably doesn't matter, so we should just get rid

26:26

of it. I think that

26:28

the neighbor is going

26:30

to get fired from the job

26:33

and take out revenge on OP

26:35

and try to make OP's life

26:39

a living hell. How though? I

26:42

think... I hypothesize,

26:45

maybe they start going to like the HOA or

26:48

like parking their car in front of

26:50

their driveway or rolling their trash in

26:52

at night after they roll it out.

26:54

I don't know, like some means of

26:56

like advanced torture and then they're like...

26:59

Advanced torture. Advanced torture. This is what

27:01

they use in Guantanamo Bay. Exactly. Not

27:03

the trash cans going in and out

27:05

again. And they tell OP. They

27:08

tell OP, right? If you ever

27:10

want your trash cans to be left at peace again,

27:13

you march into that school in that

27:15

office and you tell them, I

27:18

was running a fake

27:20

campaign against my neighbor and you should

27:23

have the daughter back. You should hire

27:25

the neighbor back and

27:28

bring everything back as it were. I

27:31

honestly have a solution

27:33

for the problem,

27:35

daughter and the parent. Just

27:37

pay an actor to be your daughter's friend. Here

27:41

we go. Here we go. The

27:44

family that needs the most money in

27:47

the class, pay their

27:49

family to be your

27:51

daughter's friend. Then you're helping a family

27:54

and your daughter gets a friend. Win-win. I

27:57

might be able to get behind this idea. The

28:02

problem is if the daughter finds

28:04

out that the

28:07

kid was literally paid to be their friends. But

28:10

this is maybe a bad question. Yes. How

28:14

challenged is this daughter? Because

28:18

we don't know. Depending

28:20

on the amount of challenge, maybe it

28:23

would not be a thing that would be

28:25

understood. This

28:28

girl has developed mental

28:31

issues and can't interact with others

28:33

her age. She clings to

28:35

my daughter and won't let her play with

28:37

other children. She has bitten and thrown things

28:39

at my daughter in the past when she

28:42

doesn't get her full attention. Alright, let me

28:44

ask you this. Yes. I'm afraid

28:46

of this kid. I'm as terrified. You're in

28:48

middle school. Yes. Right.

28:52

How much would someone have to pay you? Oh, God. To

28:56

be friends with someone that bit you like once a

28:58

week. Yeah,

29:00

that wouldn't be very fun. Anywhere

29:02

except your private parts.

29:06

Uh... It doesn't draw

29:08

blood, but leave some work. If

29:11

we're talking, can we make this scenario, they just bite

29:13

me and that's it? They bite

29:15

you like once a week. Yeah. Yeah,

29:17

and you're not cool. You're weird. Well,

29:20

now I'm thrilled. Um...

29:24

Do I have to pay

29:26

him? Yeah, right. Yeah, whoa, geez, what

29:28

a deal. Okay, so, alright. The weirdest

29:30

kid in school. Yeah. They

29:32

bite you once a week. How

29:35

much... You're in middle school. I don't want to do this

29:37

exercise. How

29:39

much would you want? I don't know

29:41

if I take the deal. I

29:45

don't know if I take the deal. Young

29:48

entrepreneurial John wearing suits.

29:50

Yeah. In middle school.

29:54

Would... Well, you wore suits in high school and

29:56

middle school. Fair enough. You're point proven, point taken.

29:58

But... Than. You.

30:01

Would not take. A

30:04

about of money. At. Dude, when I

30:06

actually so here's what happened efforts what he

30:08

suggested your. Idea. I was like

30:11

oh that? Actually like maybe. Maybe.

30:13

Just could work with. then when I put myself

30:15

in the scenario I'm like dude this poor kid

30:18

is literally be and then and then there's a

30:20

kid being paid to hang out with them for

30:22

granted I think okay but that but the are

30:24

other opposite is know when hangs out with him.

30:27

Or know and hangs out with her. A. Paid

30:30

friend is better than that. No friends.

30:32

I think these need they just need

30:34

to get. Be. Ah

30:36

the new as they don't know that

30:39

I'll easier to help us are you

30:41

say do now after you know I

30:43

don't use mother had no deal modi

30:45

oh deal or say I'm not rated

30:47

as thousand dollars a week in middle

30:49

school pastor says you're with that take

30:52

as thousand dollar real about the of

30:54

and I know you're younger you wouldn't

30:56

know it's a week they bite once

30:58

a week as yeah I did or

31:00

I know about that. Zeal

31:02

you could do with that kind of money.

31:04

Another revenue can create another revenue stream. Basis

31:08

Tohmatsu Hundred Officers A

31:10

society grows as. He.

31:13

Put as as a d. Seven

31:15

percent easy at all. So you start

31:17

investing in the as it p. In

31:20

middle school when kitty kitty two billion are

31:22

by now though. So how long does this

31:24

last? Added l as long as a kid

31:26

bites which could be forever. Oh

31:28

kids. Did seven

31:30

years, seven years money a time,

31:32

timeout timeout. Some help. If.

31:34

It was that Sally As or

31:37

it's on Seven Thirty Three hundred.

31:40

Sixty. Four say for seven dude

31:42

seven years, I don't know where

31:44

know how bizarre, but I trust

31:47

the blindly every week late dizzy

31:49

of weeks. Though. He thought

31:51

no weeks of urgency to down and see

31:53

what to take a step. I would take

31:55

a thousand whatever numbers you would get a

31:58

year that's a full footing.up for job, pretty

32:00

bit more the middle school do you know

32:02

I? Come on dude. now I'm getting bullied.

32:05

Judge Judge. But get him disaffected morals. That's

32:07

what I'm saying. Is

32:09

just a bar and rather take a

32:11

job and co rise they the help

32:13

of ports I'll that need spreads. Pay.

32:16

Me to hire another versatile for this

32:18

guy who should be not resuscitate him

32:20

Know arsenal I'm a i'm you as

32:22

up for our me as Remember any

32:25

longer I have a child with powdered

32:27

Some would start being a professor or

32:29

they start early start young. Justin.

32:32

Bieber became professionals at like,

32:34

what? fifteen? Oh my gosh

32:36

dude. Okay, Animal

32:38

Control. this paid less

32:41

allows edible to draw

32:43

the line and rose

32:45

by human. Often

32:48

as not even draw blood cells

32:50

about oil was thousand bucks a

32:52

week. That would be

32:54

no feel your ohio, no desire Allies:

32:57

we now live in middle school. You're

32:59

not taking a thousand bucks a week

33:01

of like G. I know what he

33:03

said. he sees coins the to deal

33:05

with that lot of a high dose

33:07

as you could get audited. So really

33:10

good. As big of a Legos but

33:12

I guess he's Gabi. Like.

33:14

Aziz Gabi. It was him. Was

33:17

he deaths? In

33:19

middle school down but we're not met Abbey's

33:21

I would have one friend. So

33:28

because and that the more similar stories

33:30

from parents. This is exactly what

33:32

they said. They said She is kind and

33:34

praised for being understanding and putting up with

33:37

her. They also praised her for helping her

33:39

to learn to read. I know that girl

33:41

is made progress of reading and math because

33:43

her mother mentioned a to yet the teachers

33:45

that people more qualified and paid a teacher

33:48

or avoiding this girl. She has

33:50

been violent on more than one occasion and

33:52

even though we are living in the Greater

33:54

London area, my solicitor said we can move

33:56

on that issue as she is being put

33:58

in danger. To. Source: Me: I'm

34:00

like lawyer in. The. Uk.

34:03

I'm guessing that I think so to avoid

34:05

got rights. Responded to the question why no

34:07

assistance they hadn't This isn't for her but

34:10

she left the job. that is what my

34:12

fact my daughter more I mentioned this in

34:14

the original. Post. The.

34:16

Principal didn't mention that they would look

34:18

for other avenues, but their budget is

34:21

bursting. I know because in the past

34:23

few years the school has suffered a

34:25

bits. The teaching assistant was paid less

34:27

than what a qualified as he and

34:30

would have been, but she left. Verification.

34:33

On timeline, Opie clarifies that the

34:35

event itself happened the week before.

34:37

I'm writing it on Friday and got distracted

34:40

and then ah and finished it then posted

34:42

at. The language used we are in

34:44

the Uk. All. The maybe we

34:46

don't have. we don't have elementary

34:48

schools, we call it primary schools

34:51

and lawyers are solicitors. Ah, or

34:53

Foresters Barristers barristers. Thank you depending

34:55

on what you use them for

34:57

and their qualifications. We have

34:59

some clarification or in the Uk. Ah,

35:02

It seems like they had a person

35:04

but now they're trying to find some

35:06

on the budget. Is your sounds like

35:09

a bug raising? the are saw mob

35:11

an. Suv. Like is

35:13

not my problem around. Like it's not

35:15

my problem you either pay my get

35:18

a thousand dollars a week. Or.

35:20

We're not budget. There. You go. Bring.

35:23

Up the budget or were not budget. Bring

35:25

Up the budget or we're not button think

35:27

so bus. But there's a final. To

35:31

the sock, let's get into it. Let's

35:33

talk about it. Yesterday I had a

35:35

meeting with Hr in the mother of

35:37

the child was called them. We both

35:39

had the option to have someone else

35:41

sit on the meeting for support or

35:43

rap but we both the quite a

35:45

bit raw dog meat or meeting. Risky

35:49

business. Risky move. My manager on the other

35:51

hand was made to sit and. i

35:53

don't think she was very happy about it

35:55

do to her workload h r tried to

35:57

make it comfortable for all but getting a

35:59

solicitor was the best thing I could have

36:01

done. HR made notes and put it on

36:04

official record that despite this taking place outside

36:06

of work, they could and would deal with

36:08

her at work if she tried to leverage

36:10

her, if she tried to

36:12

leverage her friendship over my job security,

36:15

which W move

36:17

for the company. Yeah, I would say

36:19

my manager said she isn't very friendly

36:21

with her outside work, but that she

36:24

would like to keep a good professional

36:26

relationship with her going forward. If she

36:28

remains. She backtracked on the masked threat

36:31

and tried to emotionally manipulate the room

36:33

by bringing up her daughter's struggles.

36:36

HR stated that part of it had nothing

36:38

to do with me or the company and they

36:40

expected her to stay professional at work. They

36:43

advised her to put pressure on the right school

36:45

to provide her and to write, to provide

36:47

her with the right tools to make it

36:49

through. They offered her one week unpaid. Damn,

36:53

to spend time with her daughter if

36:55

she needed it and encouraged her to

36:57

use that week, take her daughter to

36:59

various clubs for children with special needs,

37:01

so she could form bonds with children

37:03

similar to her. What one week unpaid?

37:05

What, what does that do? Just

37:07

give, just give the one week paid. Like,

37:10

yeah, your big company has HR. Come on.

37:13

I was not given an apology by HR,

37:17

but they made her give me a

37:19

written apology and a verbal one, which honestly,

37:21

in my

37:23

opinion, an apology. No, if someone,

37:25

if someone's forced to apologize, it might

37:28

as well. I would, I would rather you not. Yeah.

37:32

Um, my manager said she was happy with my

37:34

work and would continue to support me in her

37:37

capacity as a man. I had

37:39

a phone call from the school this morning. There was

37:41

a small incident between this girl and my

37:43

daughter, but they dealt with it and they,

37:45

and didn't want me to pick up my

37:47

daughter so the other girl could see changes

37:49

happening. For now, that girl won't be in

37:51

class for the rest of the day. And

37:53

at break time, the dinner ladies were making

37:55

sure they were not playing. The

37:58

dinner ladies. ladies

38:00

but the UK version? Very

38:02

true. Good point. My heart hurts for

38:04

this girl because she is basically alone

38:07

now but I have to think of

38:09

my daughter first. If only someone would

38:11

step up if they were being paid

38:13

a hefty sum of a thousand

38:15

dollars a week. Listen if they

38:17

want to offer that fair

38:19

game. So you would take it.

38:22

It's fair game. Why would

38:24

you take it? Is it a thousand too little for

38:26

you? Yeah. No! Mr.

38:28

Richie Richie? No! No!

38:30

Why would you take it then? How about

38:32

some silver coins? Would

38:35

that help? Gold

38:37

to blue. Darn it. Well now

38:39

you're talking. That might get

38:42

me out of the coal mines. I can

38:44

breathe my lungs again! The school has a

38:46

schedule that my husband and I and her

38:48

parents for a meeting together with the principal,

38:50

my solicitor, the lawyer, their teachers, and

38:52

a school rep. You know what I

38:55

just love about this? What? Unlike

38:57

you this joke never gets old. You

39:02

know what? I'll give respect for respect to the

39:04

dude. That was good. That was good. Dude

39:08

the day Riley turns

39:11

27 I am

39:13

raining hell down

39:15

on him. But you'll be like 103

39:17

by the way. His life will be

39:19

torture. His life will be

39:22

torture dude. His life will be terrible.

39:26

Just you wait buddy. We will see how

39:28

quickly things change as they are technically still

39:30

in the same class. Thank

39:32

you to all that shared your own

39:34

similar experiences and helping me navigate this.

39:36

I hope that things will

39:38

be better going forward. Dude once you guys

39:41

get in a laughing pit you

39:43

can't answer it all. You can't open it

39:45

all. Oh and final relevant

39:47

comment thank god

39:50

someone shares their own experience.

39:54

This is how she fell too. She

39:57

was forced to she she was forced to sit with this

39:59

girl. at lunch in addition

40:01

to classes. She

40:04

had very few friends. In the last

40:06

few months, some of the other girls reached out to

40:08

her and she is approaching the

40:10

preteen years so fast, so it's important

40:12

for her to socialize with peers. I

40:15

am so sorry to hear you had

40:17

to go through this. Whoo!

40:22

What do you think, boys? What are you

40:24

thinking? Right move, right move. Right move. I

40:27

think it washed out as it should. He

40:29

shouldn't have to put that on him

40:31

and it's really sad that going

40:34

through all the necessary steps to keep his daughter

40:36

safe and protected, he still feels that way. Yeah,

40:39

yeah, I agree. I

40:42

agree. But you know what I agree with?

40:44

What? Me

40:46

reading this next story. Let's

40:48

do it! Am

40:51

I the a-hole for telling my daughter she

40:53

needs to move out after she had her

40:55

fare with our married neighbor? Ouch.

40:57

This comes from Stressed Out Dad 3.

41:00

I can understand why you're stressed out. You're just

41:02

accurate. Last week I caught my daughter, 21, leaving

41:05

our neighbor's house early in the morning.

41:07

I was getting a drink around three

41:09

in the morning and watched her leave

41:11

their house and she snuck across the

41:13

yard. Whoa. And

41:16

went through our basement door. Our

41:18

neighbor is married and

41:20

probably 30. I assume

41:22

his wife was gone for the night as her

41:24

car wasn't there. The next morning I went down

41:26

to my daughter's room and confronted her. At

41:29

first, he denied it. But then

41:31

she eventually said that she had

41:33

been sleeping with him for a

41:35

couple of months. Ooh. A

41:39

30 with a 21 year old. Big

41:42

yikes. I lost it at that

41:44

point and yelled at her, telling her he is

41:46

married and she is helping ruin a marriage. I

41:48

told her that she needs to tell the wife

41:50

or she needs to move out. Honestly,

41:54

not a bad, not a bad

41:56

ultimatum. Not A bad

41:58

ultimatum. I Like that ultimatum. Though parenting depth

42:01

is clearly upset in thinks I'm

42:03

overreacting, my wife is also thinking

42:05

I'm going too far. Words.

42:09

Wife. Your weight is probably cheating on you.

42:12

Have. A wife

42:14

is also sleeping with the die. No.

42:17

No No No No No No no. the apple

42:19

doesn't fall far from the tree heart disease either.

42:22

Or. It. Ah, It.

42:25

Wasn't thought it wasn't a thirty year old

42:27

that she's sitting on. Why was a thirty

42:29

year olds was gone? Open Marriage. As

42:31

he was with the one. That

42:33

obese once. Oh you're saying

42:36

you say Opie his wife is cheating with

42:38

the wife of a neighbor? I. Hope

42:41

he. Viewed. As easy to

42:43

they are with our waters the up at three

42:45

o'clock in the morning. He. Also was

42:47

getting a drink of water or like a like a

42:49

drink drink like do a good byes of data rate

42:52

of after we talked about would drink means is probably

42:54

a drink drink. Any

42:56

way they the I get the the neighbor

42:58

is the main issue but I'm really disappointed.

43:01

My daughter she knows his wife and has

43:03

even babysat for them. Ah,

43:05

class dude. classic like is

43:07

a baby sitter is telling

43:09

her. To. Confess or move

43:12

out. Too. Far. And

43:15

he just twenty one, twenty

43:17

one years in college. He

43:21

me think about this. Ah my

43:23

do think it's very important that

43:25

he. The. Right thing to do is tell

43:27

the way. Absolutely the right

43:29

thing to do sell the wife And it's

43:31

like what leverage. For. Go Do

43:33

you have? Yeah, but maybe it's not like I

43:35

don't think I would kick my daughter out. Yeah.

43:38

I wasn't ready. He. Was a out

43:40

a bad thing? Yeah. Yeah

43:43

but it was a like make decisions

43:45

have adult consequences when if it's a

43:47

week. We. Don't know if. She.

43:50

Has a car paid for provide what if

43:52

your life or job. or

43:55

she's don't score scrub the has one where your school

43:57

left yeah maybe i was gonna say take the car

43:59

away but That's what it's one thing to

44:01

take a car away for like a high school It's

44:03

like bust a school, but but it's like she can

44:06

just walk to the cheating It's

44:08

across the dude. Yeah, you're right. I was

44:10

I was saying as just a general punishment

44:12

of like, okay You can't drive around to

44:14

see your friends. Like I mean, yeah, like

44:17

even if she's grounded Sneak

44:22

out like she can escape from the

44:24

basement door. She's very she's Home

44:27

free. Yeah Dude,

44:29

this is really I would love to know

44:31

what y'all would do put your answers to the comments what if okay, what

44:33

if what if what if the husband

44:36

says tell him or I will

44:38

and Honestly,

44:40

you could totally be bluffing at first Or

44:44

tell her or I will tell the wife. Oh,

44:47

I'm sorry. Yeah, tell it tell the wife or I

44:49

will Yeah, and then you you don't even have to

44:51

be serious. You could be bluffing at first. That's better

44:54

Yeah, that's probably better at her. At least the

44:56

information gets out because what if what otherwise where

44:58

I won't yeah, what if she She

45:02

gets on the streets and then she's got

45:04

a starter only fans The

45:06

living and then where are we at?

45:08

There are other ways to make a living. No, they're not

45:12

Others not sexist. Yes, there is no.

45:14

Hey, I made an only fans too.

45:17

Okay, where's the link? Just kidding Exactly

45:20

I was totally lying also, I

45:23

mean if she's on only fans doing it, right? She's not

45:25

on the streets Like

45:27

people that people aren't we're watching a video

45:30

this only fence creator like 35 million dollar

45:32

net worth insane insane Absolutely.

45:34

How'd you find her on YouTube?

45:37

You're finally a video It's

45:40

true There is an

45:42

edit Wow. Thank you all for responding. I'm sorry.

45:44

I couldn't respond to more of you some context

45:46

I failed to put in here. My wife is

45:48

very upset. She isn't siding with the affair In

45:50

fact, she was cheated on by an ex. She

45:52

understands is better than I do I think that

45:54

is I think that is a big part of

45:56

why I'm so angry My

45:58

wife is also a better person than I do I am. She

46:00

is the only reason I am the man I

46:02

am today. I have too much

46:04

respect to let people even anonymously insinuate that

46:07

she is a problem here. I should have

46:09

done a better job in explaining her side.

46:11

Any comments saying anything bad about my wife

46:13

will be met with an F you. Hah!

46:15

Writing all this out and reading the comments

46:17

has been incredibly helpful. I

46:19

haven't changed my mind but

46:21

it's made me think about the situation more

46:24

especially looking at the future and my relationship

46:26

with my daughter. I just shot

46:28

a text to my daughter and apologized for

46:30

my anger and asked her to go get

46:32

a drink with me tonight and talk. I

46:35

told her I am sorry I didn't

46:37

ask her how she was feeling. I

46:39

need to get my composure back before my next work

46:42

call here in a few minutes but will continue to

46:44

read and reply to comments as I have time today.

46:46

Edit 2. Just going to put my thoughts here

46:49

instead of commenting, wow so many comments. While yes

46:51

I may be seeming to backtrack a bit with

46:53

reaching out to my daughter, I don't see how

46:55

that is bad. She is my daughter and I

46:57

love her so much. For those who think she

46:59

would stop talking to us if we kicked her

47:02

out, I raised her to

47:04

be independent and accept consequences for her actions.

47:07

It's hard to explain her relationship but I

47:10

know she wouldn't stop talking to us if

47:12

we did force her to move. She also

47:14

would figure it out as she is a

47:16

smart woman. She would love out of our

47:18

house not our life. I'm always her dad.

47:21

On that note, this is the dad writing,

47:23

not the mom as some of you have

47:25

thought. Also, not worried about violence

47:27

from the neighbor's wife. Unfortunately, she is a

47:30

very sweet woman which makes everything worse. But

47:32

I wouldn't put my daughter in danger. I

47:34

can affirm my daughter hasn't told the husband

47:36

we know. I will be

47:39

watching his behavior as I'm not sure how he

47:41

will react. Last thing, as I

47:43

find it funny, I was drinking water not

47:45

alcohol when I saw her. I woke up

47:47

and went to the kitchen and saw from

47:49

the window but I appreciate the links to

47:52

AA. I really should have made my original

47:54

post longer. Sorry for all the edits. I'll

47:56

update after I talk with my daughter. There

47:58

is no update. There is no

48:00

update. Did he ever talk with the daughter? We will never

48:03

know, maybe. We'll never know, unless there's an update. But

48:05

I like our solution better. I think our solution

48:08

is like a happy medium. Yeah, I think so.

48:10

I think, yeah, like after thinking about it for

48:12

a second, it's like, okay, yeah, maybe not like

48:15

threatening to kick out the daughter. It's too extreme and kind

48:17

of like maybe the

48:19

daughter is, who knows

48:21

what's going on? Is she looking for validation? Yeah,

48:24

why did she feel the need to go to

48:26

this neighbor? And I think that is a good

48:28

thing. If you're able to like sit down with

48:30

your child, like, what's going on? What's

48:32

going on? Like, let me hear you. I'm

48:34

your friend. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm the baby.

48:36

So I liked, I really liked O.P.'s pivot and

48:38

adjustment there from like, like walking

48:40

it back from being like out of my

48:42

house. And this does not at

48:44

all in any way, in any shape

48:47

or form, excuse this because she should

48:49

know better, but she is 21, baking

48:52

stupid young people mistakes. So

48:55

it's like, all right, let me, let me

48:57

help guide you as your parent through

48:59

this. But I'm very curious what all of you

49:01

would do. I would love to know your answers

49:04

in the comments below, but if you love us,

49:07

make sure to subscribe. We love

49:09

you and see you tomorrow. I

49:11

am this shit

49:14

is hard. You tried delivering

49:16

a five star podcast. Make it

49:18

easier on mama Sam. Go to

49:20

O.K.O.P.'s profile page, click about, then

49:22

rate it five stars. Okay. Now,

49:25

O.K.O.P.S. Congratulations Sam. You have a beautiful time

49:27

for our podcast.