"Secrets are Debilitating. This secret of mine was eating me alive for a long time" -Brady Hiete (my brother)

The Secret of Sexual Abuse Trauma is the Silent Killer. This is a raw and tender conversation with my youngest brother Brady Hiete about the serious dangers of living for many years under the crushing weight of secrets of personal trauma.

We share, from our own experiences, how personal secrets of trauma can have long lasting and perilous behavioral, emotional and spiritual consequences. Dark secrets of sexual abuse, in many cases, are discovered at the core of a multitude of hazardous, life threatening survival and coping mechanisms. Survivors commonly employ these maladaptive behaviors to manage and numb the intense pain from the trauma of abuse and living alone in silence and shame. Dealing with the core issues of abuse and talking about personal trauma can be a critical stepping stone which opens a pathway to recovery and healing.

In this episode, Brady and I talk about the time when I finally wrestled myself out of silence (a silence that for many years felt like a Boa Constrictor's suffocating death grip) and found my voice and told him about being drugged unconscious and raped when I was in college and how I had been living with this secret in a silent and lonely hell for so long.In the same conversation, Brady opens up about a personally damaging secret he battled alone for most of his life and the feelings of devastation and loneliness he suffered as a result. Our episode is an intensely personal and open discussion that clearly recognizes the power of revelation. Our discussion aims to illuminate that talking about trauma in a safe environment when you are ready - and supporting a survivor through listening- can be a significant catalyst and critical first step on the pathway to healing and recovery.