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a blend of the two, all designed

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to help people grow in

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confidence, willingness and

1:56

skills to communicate in public.

1:56

Whether that is giving

2:00

presentations or speeches,

2:00

providing training, having great

2:04

presence or communication skills

2:04

in meetings, or just having

2:08

those difficult conversations

2:08

effectively. public speaking is

2:12

a soft skill that gives your

2:12

core skills of voice and can

2:16

open doors that you may not even

2:16

know exist yet. But for now,

2:21

let's dive into this episode of

2:21

Opened Dawes Live.

1:16

Hello, welcome to Episode Seven

1:16

of Opened Dawes Live. Thank you

1:22

very much for joining me. And

1:22

that includes I love it my

1:25

cousin's watching as well,

1:25

hello, my little boy. Good to

1:28

see you at. And yes, it's if you

1:28

didn't read the details, you

1:35

might be a bit confused by this

1:35

one because the title is look at

1:39

the snow, not the trees. No idea

1:39

what that's got to do with

1:43

public speaking Have you if you

1:43

haven't read the details, but

1:46

there is a reason for it. It's

1:46

one of the became public

1:50

speakers, I can't remember

1:50

exactly which one it was now

1:53

that that made a comment that

1:53

you need to if you're a skier is

2:01

going through the trees, and

2:01

they're going at a rate and not

2:04

skiing through them. I think

2:04

officially you're advised not to

2:07

but let's just go with it for a

2:07

minute. The worst thing you can

2:11

do is go I've got to avoid the

2:11

trees, I've got to avoid the

2:14

trees, I've got to avoid the

2:14

trees because all you will see

2:18

is the trees. You just become

2:18

actually obsessed. Like if I

2:22

said go and sit stand in that

2:22

corner. And don't think about

2:26

pink elephants. Or you can going

2:26

to think about is those pink

2:31

elephants, you won't be able to get them out of your mind. That's just the nature of Avast,

2:33

really, I think. Whereas what

2:38

the true scares are doing is

2:38

they're looking at the snow,

2:41

they're looking at the snow,

2:41

they're finding the root,

2:43

they're looking for the root

2:43

through. So looking for the

2:45

root, not the obstacles. And

2:45

it's the same that really

2:49

applies with this is that we can

2:49

get too bogged down with

2:53

obsessing about what could go

2:53

wrong. If we've got a

2:56

presentation coming up. If I'm

2:56

delivering a training course, if

3:00

if you are being asked to be

3:00

part of a meeting, whether it's

3:04

a sales meeting, whether it's an

3:04

internal meeting, whether you

3:08

are high up in the hierarchy,

3:08

and you've got to have a meeting

3:12

or present with a thorny subject

3:12

with with your people

3:17

potentially, you know, a whole

3:17

host of things that can have an

3:21

impact on it. It's all too easy

3:21

to just get obsessed with what

3:25

could go wrong, then that could

3:25

happen. This could happen, that

3:28

might not happen. They could

3:28

think this they could say that.

3:32

And you get too obsessed with

3:32

that. Now, there's there's a few

3:36

reasons why it doesn't work in

3:36

my in my experience is that

3:40

point one. It's a huge kicker

3:40

with regards to nerves, you

3:46

know, it will just create such a

3:46

horrible cacophony of of nerves,

3:52

negative adrenalin, we'll be

3:52

thinking all about the negative

3:57

possibilities long before they

3:57

even happen. I mean, every time

4:00

we cross the road, do we go, I'm

4:00

going to get run over. You are

4:03

mindful, you know we did was it

4:03

last week we did about

4:08

preparation for the unexpected.

4:08

And how you try to sort of put

4:12

the groundwork in place to a

4:12

minimize the chance and be cover

4:18

yourself in case it does happen

4:18

so that you can get out of it.

4:22

But it doesn't mean you then

4:22

obsessed and every thought is

4:24

about it. Because that's all you

4:24

think about. And the other point

4:27

being is that if you think too

4:27

much about that, you are not

4:31

leaving enough room for you to

4:31

actually think about write, what

4:35

have I got to say? Why have I

4:35

got to say it? How do I want to

4:39

say it? What effect do I want to

4:39

leave my audience with? So

4:43

you've got to leave the bulk of

4:43

your thought process for the

4:47

snow and the root. That's what

4:47

you have to do. Now, one of the

4:53

key things I love doing this one

4:53

in my training because people go

4:56

what one of the key things that

4:56

I say is stop being

5:00

narcissistic. Well, it sounds a

5:00

bit brutal, doesn't it? But it's

5:06

not as brutal as it's meant,

5:06

because we always think about

5:08

what if it is going to go wrong

5:08

for me? What if they don't like

5:11

me? What if? What if, what if,

5:13

and it's all about, you know

5:13

what effect it will have on us

5:17

and how we will be portrayed.

5:17

But the critical thing for me is

5:21

actually flip it on its head,

5:21

what do I want my audience to

5:25

get out of this? What do I need

5:25

them to learn to hear to feel to

5:31

want to do next. And the more we

5:31

focus on that. And again, it's

5:36

critical for that route through

5:36

rather than the actual trees

5:39

that are there. The more we're

5:39

able to focus, the more we're

5:43

infused, we're excited, I've got

5:43

this opportunity to pass this

5:47

information on to them, the more

5:47

focused the actual content

5:50

that's going to be shared with

5:50

them. And the way it's going to

5:54

be shared. Next week show for

5:54

example is going to be what's

5:57

your tone, because it's also

5:57

about how you're going to say

6:02

what you want to say. And if we

6:02

think about what do I want my

6:06

audience to get from this.

6:06

That's what the focus will be

6:09

rather than narcissistically

6:09

thinking what's going to go

6:12

wrong. Think about them. It

6:12

could be things like past

6:16

failures. And I always say

6:16

failures because I tell you now,

6:20

it won't be as big a deal for

6:20

them as it is for you. It's just

6:27

the nature of the beast, you

6:27

know it, you for you, it just

6:31

went horribly, horribly wrong

6:31

for them. They were sat in

6:34

another presentation another

6:34

meeting another training course

6:37

and they got this information,

6:37

you know, it's not Britain's Got

6:40

Talent, where they're judging

6:40

you they're trying to get this

6:43

are great, okay, I learned all

6:43

of this information. That past

6:48

failure element is you got to

6:48

put it to bed learn. One of the

6:51

other shows I'm going to do at

6:51

some point about is to learn

6:55

rather than obsess. Learn from

6:55

it. Okay, what what wasn't I

6:59

happy with what didn't go as I

6:59

would like to find you know,

7:02

what maybe that goes is one of

7:02

the things you last week show of

7:06

the preparation for the

7:06

unexpected just to cover

7:08

yourself. Maybe it goes into

7:08

that. But the other one is that

7:12

we just grow, we just get better

7:12

every presentation, every

7:16

training course I deliver, every

7:16

element is going to be a little

7:19

bit different anyway. And so

7:19

you've now picked it up. In

7:22

fact, I I'm sure it will be

7:22

another show. But I've always

7:25

had this thing that there's

7:25

always three variations of your

7:28

presentation, the one you intend

7:28

to give, the one you give, and

7:32

the one you wish you'd given. So

7:32

we've got all our plans, this is

7:36

what's going to happen.

7:36

Something happens within it,

7:39

some interaction happens, you

7:39

remember something else, you add

7:42

something else, you forget

7:42

something, and we end up with

7:45

the one that's given. And then

7:45

afterwards, we go, Ah, I could

7:49

have said this, I should have

7:49

said that. We're all hilarious.

7:52

After the moment, for example,

7:52

we will come up with the best

7:55

jokes after the moments gone. So

7:55

just except there's always going

7:58

to be those three. And in fact,

7:58

that becomes the one you intend

8:01

to give next time. So don't

8:01

worry about there being past

8:06

failures is that you kind of go

8:06

right you know what, no problem,

8:10

I'm going to do this preparation

8:10

for next time, I'm going to have

8:12

this guide in front of me in

8:12

case I need to refer to it, I am

8:17

going to have an extra cable in

8:17

my bag, whatever it is, it

8:21

should not then make you obsess

8:21

about it. When you go into the

8:25

next one. Just relax. It's the

8:25

route that you're looking for.

8:29

What do I want my audience to

8:29

get out of this? And I say

8:33

audience, it still applies if

8:33

it's just in a meeting the other

8:36

people around the meeting table

8:36

or in the meeting room. That's

8:39

your audience at that moment. If

8:39

you're worried about things like

8:43

forgetting your scripts, you're

8:43

going to have your bullet points

8:46

there. You're worried about it.

8:46

But what if I'm going to be

8:49

wrong? What if I'm

8:49

underprepared? Well, these are

8:53

things that you actually don't

8:53

think about are that could go

8:56

wrong, that could go wrong,

8:56

fleetingly go, what if I'm

9:00

wrong, right? Let's make sure

9:00

that my research is up to date.

9:04

What if I don't prepare enough?

9:04

will prepare enough? What if I

9:08

forget my script, we'll just

9:08

have bullet points down in front

9:11

of you so that you can refer to

9:11

them. So you're gonna make sure

9:15

it's also about not obsessing

9:15

about something that could or

9:19

couldn't happen, but

9:19

understanding right, what will I

9:22

need to do to adapt? You know,

9:22

I, we have examples like if if

9:26

there's more people than you

9:26

expected, or too few people

9:30

compared to what you expected?

9:30

It's no problem. Don't Don't

9:33

think about the trees. That is

9:33

those obstacles that suddenly

9:36

go, oh, there's more, there's

9:36

less. What do I need to do?

9:39

Right? I'm going to adapt,

9:39

right? I'm suddenly going to get

9:42

rid of a load of the chairs and

9:42

have chairs up closer to me, and

9:45

I'm going to deliver it a bit

9:45

more intimately. Okay, there's

9:48

more, right? You know, what we

9:48

either need more chairs in, or

9:51

it's standing room only at the

9:51

back, and we'll make sure that I

9:54

have got the stage setup, right.

9:54

Happy Days. All I've done is

9:57

I've adapted I haven't spent

9:57

time obsessing about but what

10:01

could go wrong? Stop looking at

10:01

the trees, think of the route

10:05

through and it's what's going to make

10:06

the difference. What another key

10:09

one is the fact that there's

10:09

hierarchy, there's bosses in the

10:14

room, there's examiners, there's

10:14

whatever it could be that this

10:19

hierarchy that we're in a room

10:19

and you suddenly start going

10:22

trees, trees, trees, I'm gonna

10:22

hit the trees. They could fire

10:25

me they could hate me and lose

10:25

all chance or for whatever I

10:30

mean, Crikey, you could think

10:30

anything if we allowed ourselves

10:32

and as humans, I think we

10:32

normally do Don't wait. But what

10:37

about the fact that you could go

10:37

fan tastic my route here is that

10:41

I've got the opportunity to

10:41

stand up, be me, share my

10:47

knowledge, my experiences, my

10:47

infusion, enthusiasm, my

10:51

passion, my motivation, my

10:51

visions, to my the hierarchy, as

10:57

well as my peers. What a great

10:57

opportunity. When else would I

11:01

have this opportunity, those

11:01

bosses are going to sit down,

11:04

stay quiet and listen to what I

11:04

have to say. I'm not worried

11:07

about what they think what will

11:07

be will be. I can't change that

11:11

if I am just going to be myself.

11:11

share that information with

11:16

them. enthusiasm that I have for

11:16

it, they're gonna know that

11:20

you're human. So they're not

11:20

suddenly expecting you to be

11:22

this absolutely perfect robot.

11:22

To be honest, a lot of them will

11:26

also kind of go, it's gonna be a

11:26

bit daunting for them. I know

11:29

with me being here, because I'm

11:29

their boss or whatever. They're

11:33

going to give you grace. But

11:33

just think about the route and

11:36

that route in that that instance

11:36

is the opportunity for them to

11:39

hear you. So it's a distinct

11:39

mind change of how you need to

11:43

see it. And it will enable you

11:43

to have clarity of thought,

11:48

clarity of delivery, it will

11:48

enable you to enjoy it a whole

11:52

lot more and therefore probably

11:52

achieve an awful lot more as

11:55

well. It's good to take a quick

11:55

drink as well. I did it

12:01

deliberately at coffee time. So

12:01

hopefully you haven't coffee,

12:03

please feel free to put comments

12:03

or questions as well, by the

12:06

way, any experiences, you've had

12:06

yourself any things that it

12:10

makes you think and wonder if I

12:10

can help, I'd be delighted to

12:14

focus on being new, and the

12:14

information you're going to

12:17

share. People will actually be

12:17

impressed if something does

12:23

happen to go awry. And there's

12:23

no point second guessing we have

12:26

no idea what that could be

12:26

couldn't be whatever. But the

12:30

idea that you just calmly

12:30

resolve attempt to resolve

12:36

whatever may have happened,

12:36

rather than flapping and

12:41

obsessing and making a bigger

12:41

deal of it. If you just calmly

12:44

kind of go, right, that's

12:44

happened two seconds, try to

12:48

resolve it. If you can't resolve

12:48

it, you then adapt and do it

12:53

without whatever, whatever has

12:53

gone wrong, or whatever example

12:57

it could be, people will

12:57

actually be more impressed by

13:00

that. So again, we'll obsess Oh,

13:00

but what if this goes wrong? No

13:05

problem, I'm going to relax, I'm

13:05

going to keep smiling, I'm going

13:09

to sort of involve them in the

13:09

experience. And I'm going to

13:12

calmly attempt to resolve the

13:12

issue. Or I'm going to adapt and

13:16

do it without whatever the issue

13:16

was with. They're going to be

13:20

impressed by that. They're going

13:20

to have empathy for you. They're

13:24

humans that are probably glad

13:24

that is you rather than them

13:27

doing this. So they're going to

13:27

have empathy, and they're going

13:30

to go, Wow, okay, they really

13:30

dealt with that impressively

13:34

Didn't they, it was no big

13:34

drama. And we still sat here,

13:39

they're there for a reason.

13:39

Remember, they're there to hear

13:42

your presentation to be trained

13:42

by you to, to be part of that

13:47

meeting for a reason. And so in

13:47

all reality, all they're

13:52

interested in is that

13:52

information is not really you.

13:55

It's the information that you're

13:55

about to share. Now, we know

13:58

that you're hoping that it could

13:58

lead to sales, it could lead to

14:01

two promotions, it could lead to

14:01

more opportunities, it could,

14:04

who knows. And that's the whole

14:04

point, opening doors that we

14:07

don't know exist yet. There is

14:07

that, but that's kind of the

14:11

secondary bit your focus is on,

14:11

I'm sharing this information

14:15

with those that are here

14:15

listening to me. So that's all

14:17

they care about. So if you were

14:17

able to instead of obsessing

14:20

before you get there about what

14:20

could go wrong, and instead of

14:23

making a drama out of what maybe

14:23

has gone wrong, you know, it

14:27

could be more wrong for you than

14:27

it is for them. But you've just

14:30

calmly acknowledged it, tried to

14:30

remedy remedy it. If you

14:34

haven't, you've then just gone,

14:34

I'm going to adapt, I'm going to

14:37

do without that means that we've got a new

14:39

mindset that's going to make us

14:42

feel a lot more relaxed. And

14:42

you've also made the delivery

14:46

that much slicker, that much

14:46

more inclusive, that much more

14:50

succinct, and that much more

14:50

informative. So try to think,

14:56

look at the snow, look at the

14:56

route, look at the goal, rather

15:01

than the obstacles, the trees

15:01

that you might hit. As soon as

15:04

you start looking at them,

15:04

you're gonna hit them. That's

15:08

the big problem. So that was

15:08

this week's session. I hope it

15:13

was it was useful. It's all

15:13

about trying to increase your

15:16

willingness, your confidence and

15:16

your skills to to speak up, be

15:20

the one that says Yes, I will.

15:20

Or a volunteer. And and let your

15:25

voice be heard. Let your

15:25

knowledge be heard. Let your

15:27

experiences your passion, your

15:27

enthusiasm, your potential of

15:31

either you, your organization,

15:31

your products, your services, it

15:35

doesn't matter what it is. It's

15:35

about sharing it with other

15:38

people and open those doors. I

15:38

have the same myself thinking

15:42

through this whether it's this

15:42

show, in fact, by the way, I

15:45

definitely have it when I'm

15:45

doing these shows. Was it last

15:49

week or the week before? I think

15:49

it was actually the week before

15:53

I realized that I'd sheduled

15:53

this for 11pm instead of 11am.

15:58

And I didn't realize this until

15:58

I was there. Why is it not

16:01

counting down? I've got less

16:01

than 10 minutes to go. And I

16:04

suddenly realized, oh my gosh,

16:04

it's 11pm. And this software

16:07

doesn't. The broadcast Studio

16:07

software use doesn't allow me

16:11

once it's within that window. I

16:11

can't just change it and

16:15

suddenly go live In less than 10

16:15

minutes, 15 minutes on LinkedIn.

16:20

I can in fact, you can't even

16:20

change it on LinkedIn. So I had

16:23

to go right, what am I going to

16:23

do? Right? I'm going to make

16:26

this 1115. I'm going to shedule

16:26

it, I'm going to ditch the

16:29

LinkedIn one altogether, because

16:29

I just can't do that one. And

16:33

I'm going to announce policies

16:33

technically technical issue,

16:36

it's 1115 instead of 11am. I

16:36

then washed it off, got

16:40

everything ready. And off I

16:40

went. And I went and did the

16:44

show. It was not obsessing about

16:44

the whole thing. Whether I'm

16:48

giving seminars, guest slots on

16:48

other people's shows, whatever

16:53

it might be. It's, you know, it

16:53

is about making sure that we

16:58

think all those those bits and

16:58

pieces so that was this week's

17:01

show, please do go and have a

17:01

look. And let me put it back up

17:04

again, as well in terms of the

17:04

banner, and Open Dawes

17:10

training.co.uk, forward slash

17:10

Connect. There's multiple ways

17:14

that you can connect with us

17:14

here at Open, Dawes Training,

17:17

whether that is the social media

17:17

channels and the YouTube channel

17:21

where we try to put up lots of

17:21

material that can be helpful for

17:24

you, the blog posts as well. You

17:24

know, lots of tips and advice,

17:29

free downloads as well on in

17:29

particular nerves, and ways to

17:33

open up your presentation, as

17:33

well as both the blended online

17:37

and face to face training, or a

17:37

face to face training. Go and

17:40

have a look. There's multiple

17:40

ways you can connect with us.

17:43

I'll be back next week. And as I

17:43

say, the plan at the moment is

17:46

that it's what's your tone, the

17:46

way that you say the impact the

17:50

difference the way you say

17:50

something can have as well as

17:54

what you actually say. So, thank

17:54

you very much for myself, Chris

17:57

Dawes Open Dawes Training. It

17:57

has been a pleasure. I'll see

18:00

you next week. Thank you for listening to

47:19

Opened Dawes Live. I hope you

47:21

enjoyed it and it was useful.

47:21

Remember, go to Open Dawes

47:25

training.co.uk forward slash

47:25

Connect, to find out more about

47:29

how you can interact with us and

47:29

how we can help you