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0:28

I'm

0:29

Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super

0:31

Soul Conversations,

0:32

The podcast. I

0:34

believe that one of the most valuable gifts you

0:36

can give yourself

0:38

is time. Taking

0:40

time to be more fully present.

0:44

your

0:44

journey to become more inspired

0:46

and connected to the deeper world

0:48

around us starts right

0:51

now. I

0:53

created Super Bowl Sunday in part because

0:55

of my own yearning to

0:57

talk to people who have the ability to open

0:59

both hearts and minds through the wisdom

1:01

of their life experiences.

1:03

Beyond the joy it brings to me, I

1:05

see the show as an offering

1:08

to anyone in search

1:09

of a connection to all that is greater than

1:11

themselves. Even during the Oprah

1:13

Winfrey show years, I always felt a

1:15

hunger from the audience, a deep

1:17

desire to nourish not

1:19

only their mind and body,

1:22

but also to create a more

1:24

meaningful authentic life. Most

1:26

people say the biggest dream they have for themselves

1:29

is happiness.

1:31

Contentment and a sense of peace are

1:33

absolutely elements in the equation.

1:36

But ultimately, I believe what

1:38

we're all truly seeking

1:40

is freedom. We

1:43

long for a life without constraint,

1:46

free from conflict,

1:48

fear, or

1:49

judgment. where

1:51

our relationships,

1:52

career,

1:53

health, finances, coexist

1:57

in perfect flow with our

1:59

spiritual center. This

2:00

is what Michael Singer described during our supercell

2:03

conversations as an absolute

2:06

state of well-being.

2:09

As you think about what lasting

2:11

fulfillment looks like in your own life,

2:14

know that the

2:15

divine force at work within

2:17

all of us has a bigger dream

2:20

for you than you could ever imagine for

2:22

yourself. Success

2:23

comes when you surrender to

2:25

that dream and

2:26

allow it to

2:29

lead you to the next

2:31

best place. Just

2:33

outside the door of my office

2:35

at Harpo Studios in Chicago, there

2:38

was an elevator. Every

2:41

day, I rode it to the studio

2:43

to take the show. It was only

2:45

one floor down. and I could have

2:47

easily walked. But those

2:50

precious moments alone were

2:52

my opportunity to set my intention

2:55

to

2:55

bring the very best of myself to both

2:57

the guests and the audience. I

3:00

said the same prayer, then that I say

3:02

now before every Super Bowl Sunday interview.

3:05

Use me, God. Show

3:08

me how to take who I am, who

3:10

I want to be, and what I can do.

3:13

and use me for a purpose greater

3:16

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4:13

The

4:15

key to realizing a dream is

4:17

to focus not on success

4:19

but on service. Ask yourself

4:21

what are the gifts and talents you can

4:23

share to raise the collective

4:25

consciousness of all that

4:27

you encounter. Making

4:29

that shift from self to

4:32

service will bring an

4:34

immeasurable amount of fulfillment to

4:36

your job your relationships, and

4:38

the vision you have of your own best life.

4:41

Gary Zukov brilliantly describes

4:43

this as the moment you discover your

4:46

authentic power. He

4:49

says, when your personality

4:52

comes fully

4:53

to serve

4:54

the energy of its soul.

4:58

That is authentic power.

5:01

Fulfilling your purpose with

5:03

meaning, is what gives

5:05

you that powerful spark of

5:07

energy unique to only

5:09

you. The result is

5:11

an electrifying current of clarity,

5:14

rising from the deepest part of yourself.

5:17

By tapping into that source, you will

5:19

no longer feel like salmon,

5:21

swimming upstream. Instead,

5:24

people will finally see the

5:26

highest, truest version of you.

5:29

and

5:29

stand in awe wondering how

5:32

you achieved your dreams. As

5:34

you listen to this chapter, my hope is that

5:37

You will find the courage to tune out the

5:39

negative voices telling you all the reasons

5:41

to give up.

5:42

Make the choice to turn up the volume.

5:45

to your unique calling, the

5:47

glory that is

5:49

your own life.

5:51

Beginning

5:51

with, Gary Zukov,

5:54

The soul is your mothership.

5:57

So when you're sailing in the same direction that

5:59

it wants to go -- Mhmm.

5:59

-- your life fills with meaning and purpose.

6:02

And when you sail in

6:04

another direction, it empties a

6:06

meaning and purpose. You can look at

6:08

it this way. you

6:10

are a personality. Mhmm. That

6:12

means you were born on a certain day

6:14

and you'll die on a certain day.

6:17

Ashish, two ashes, dust to

6:19

dust. But

6:21

your soul won't

6:23

die.

6:24

Your soul is

6:26

you, also. we're

6:28

on a journey to the soul. You could put it

6:30

that way -- Mhmm. -- while we're here in

6:32

this span between birth and death. Think

6:34

of yourself as a body and a soul.

6:36

And while we have this

6:39

precious opportunity to walk on

6:41

the earth?

6:41

The question becomes, what will we

6:44

do? with this personality.

6:46

What will you do with you? Now

6:48

here we can define you

6:50

in a couple of ways. One is

6:52

you with a little y. the

6:54

personality that was born and that

6:56

will die.

6:57

The other you is the you

7:00

with a big y. that's

7:01

your soul. And if you use your

7:03

time while you're on the earth

7:05

to align the little you with the

7:07

big you, your life begins

7:09

to fill with meaning. feel with purpose,

7:12

fill with joy,

7:14

and you know why you're alive. Following

7:17

what you know, your

7:19

soul wants you to do. Mhmm. One

7:22

of the things that impressed

7:24

me the most, it really just stayed

7:26

with me forever. is

7:28

when you say when

7:30

the personality comes

7:32

fully to serve the energy of

7:34

the soul. That is authentic part.

7:36

And this is a relatively new copy. It's

7:38

either the soul. My copy by my bedside

7:41

is so dog eared, and I started

7:43

highlighting it, and then I realized the whole book is

7:45

highlighted. So what's the point of highlighting anymore?

7:47

But that was one of the first things I highlighted

7:49

in that book thirteen years ago.

7:52

and that

7:54

awakened a

7:55

spark

7:56

of knowing in me that I never knew

7:58

existed. I mean, I now call them

7:59

aha moments. but I realize, oh,

8:02

when my personality comes

8:05

to fully align with

8:07

the energy of my soul and

8:09

I allow my soul to be the guide.

8:12

That is when

8:13

I

8:14

am the most powerful. That

8:16

is when I am in what I

8:18

call now, my sweet spot

8:20

a sweet spot.

8:22

You were born to live in the

8:24

sweet spot. That is

8:26

the creation of authentic power. Yes.

8:29

And that's how we're all evolving now.

8:31

Next up, Aston Kip.

8:34

Joseph Kim was a legendary American

8:37

writer, mathologist, and

8:39

lecturer. His work was brought to

8:41

millions of viewers in nineteen eighty eight, and Bill

8:43

Moyer's popular PBS

8:45

series, The Power of Myth.

8:47

I watched the Power of Myth once a year

8:49

every year on like clockwork, not because it

8:51

changed, but because I changed. But he says

8:54

that we are not looking for the meaning of

8:56

life as much as we are looking for the

8:58

experience of being alive.

9:00

And,

9:00

you know, Campbell's coined phrase

9:02

that sums up his whole life's work

9:04

of everything he ever studied is follow your bliss.

9:06

Yeah. And it's turned into this kind of like

9:08

tray tattoo. But you have to

9:10

understand, this guy studied all the

9:12

human stories and mythologies

9:14

and religions and everything, and

9:16

this is his advice to us. Yes.

9:18

A lifetime of work. Follow your bliss.

9:20

Yeah. So that means pay attention to

9:22

those moments when you're lit up, when time just flies

9:24

by, when you're in like sort of that

9:26

field of this joyful expression, which

9:28

is generally in contribution and being of service

9:30

and some kind -- Yeah. -- sense of connection in your

9:33

life. Yeah. and then to be able to take

9:35

action in that direction and

9:37

trust that as you step, something

9:39

will come to support you. Right. So

9:41

it's really about Instead of

9:43

what can I get? How can I take? How

9:45

can I manipulate? The question is,

9:47

what can I give? And when

9:49

you look at what makes you happy, what makes

9:51

you come alive as in following your

9:53

bliss. You look at those patterns because if you look

9:55

back there there -- Mhmm. -- and you step out into that.

9:57

What makes you happy, what makes come

9:59

alive. What is

9:59

your bliss? Yes. You you can talk to people. When

10:02

am I most happy? Ask your friends. Ask your parents. I'm

10:04

always happy in these conversations. Yes.

10:06

Yeah. That was

10:07

great. Now let's hear from

10:09

polo Qualo.

10:11

One of the

10:11

running themes throughout the book is

10:14

one of my favorite all time quotes.

10:16

and that is when you want something

10:18

all the universe conspires

10:20

in helping you to get it, I think the

10:22

universe actually can aspired in helping me to

10:24

be here today. We're trying to do this interview

10:26

for ten years. But

10:27

where did that idea?

10:30

Those words that

10:32

theme come

10:34

from? Well, what

10:36

I experienced in my life

10:38

is

10:39

that When

10:41

they really wanted something, I

10:43

was

10:43

good at it.

10:45

the Positive

10:47

and negative.

10:49

because the universe does not

10:52

think. You have just subconscious

10:54

mind that

10:56

sometimes is a tracking tragedy.

10:59

Right? Attracting bad things,

11:01

you know. Because you want to be

11:03

a victim. Because to be a

11:06

victim is to justify a lot

11:08

of frustrations and failures in

11:10

your life. The universe

11:12

is helping you. You want to

11:13

be successful. The universe is

11:15

helping you. Based on how you

11:17

think, how you truly Yeah. Yeah. How do you

11:19

think consciously as a project?

11:22

Yeah. Do you believe every person has

11:24

a has a personal

11:25

legend?

11:27

I'm one

11:28

hundred percent convinced, which

11:30

is totally different that

11:33

I believe that every person is

11:35

going to fulfill he's a

11:37

her personal agent. Okay. I would

11:39

agree. Every person has a

11:41

personal first of all, what is a personal

11:43

agent? The book follows the Shepherd Bory

11:45

San Diego, he experiences this recurring

11:47

dream and then starts on a journey to

11:49

realize his personal

11:52

legend. what

11:53

is the personal legend? It is the

11:55

reason that's right here. It

11:57

is simple as it is. You know?

11:59

Mhmm.

11:59

You are here to honor

12:02

something called the miracle of life.

12:05

You can

12:06

be here to fulfill your hours

12:09

and days with something that it

12:11

is meaningless. Yeah. But

12:13

you know that you have a reason to

12:15

be here. It is the only thing that

12:17

gives you enthusiasm.

12:19

Right? Yeah. And you

12:21

know when you are betraying your

12:24

personal legend, when you

12:26

are doing something without

12:29

enthusiasm.

12:30

And worse, you

12:33

know that you have this

12:35

good excuse I'm

12:38

not ready, which is just an

12:40

excuse. No. Because

12:42

no. I'm not ready. I have to

12:44

wait for the right moment. Now I have to

12:46

feed my family.

12:47

Come on. Your

12:48

family wants to see you happy.

12:51

Yes. Your daughter, your

12:54

husband, your wife, they

12:55

don't want to see you there

12:58

sitting in a work that you

13:00

hate. Right? Even if you give you

13:02

tons

13:02

of money. Okay. So you've just given

13:05

a really key

13:07

clue to

13:08

how to know you're pursuing your personal

13:10

legend. It is that which

13:12

in life gives

13:13

you enthusiasm. Yeah.

13:16

Yeah. I

13:17

call it personal legend. I call it

13:19

your personal calling. Everybody has a reason

13:21

why you're here. You're called here. And

13:23

you know if you're on the path to it,

13:25

whether you're enthusiastic about what you're doing

13:28

or not. That's how you understand. One

13:30

hundred percent. Okay. And we

13:32

all have one. Absolutely. We

13:34

have

13:34

a reason to be here. Yeah. You

13:36

know our reason to be here. We don't

13:38

know if we are taking the right

13:41

steps towards it. But

13:43

if we are honest enough,

13:46

God

13:46

is going to guide you even

13:48

if you take some wrong

13:51

steps, you know,

13:52

God will recognize

13:54

that you have a pure heart.

13:57

Yes. And you put your back on track

13:59

because the universe

13:59

rises up to meet you. Absolutely.

14:02

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15:10

Welcome, Sue Munkett.

15:13

Do you

15:13

believe everyone has the small

15:15

true light?

15:16

I do. I think we all

15:18

have something that pulls

15:20

the soul and that we

15:22

can give and contribute. Something that

15:24

lights us up. And when

15:26

we talk about it, you can often see the

15:28

lights come on in people. And we have

15:30

to stop, sometimes pause,

15:32

hit the stop button and really

15:35

listen to ourselves. Listen to

15:37

the yearning in ourselves.

15:39

It's talking to us. Mhmm. I was

15:41

in Greece. In

15:43

nineteen ninety three, I made this trip to

15:45

Greece, and I was on the island of Crete.

15:47

And we went to this little

15:49

Greek Orthodox convent,

15:51

very old. There's a

15:53

tree there that is

15:55

sacred to these nuns. And

15:57

this little nun, about four

15:59

eleven, came over, and she was trying to

16:01

explain to us that there's a tradition that you

16:03

go up to the tree and you

16:06

ask for the thing and she

16:08

described it like this in the bottom

16:10

of your heart. In the bottom of I

16:12

think what she was trying to say was

16:14

ask for the deepest thing in yourself. Yeah. But

16:16

it came out. Ask for the

16:18

thing that lies in the bottom of

16:20

your heart. And I never forgot that. And

16:22

I thought, how many women have

16:24

this thing that lies in the

16:26

bottom of their heart? that they aren't

16:28

paying attention to, that wants to

16:30

be there, that wants a place in their

16:32

life. Yeah. And so we all

16:34

took a turn, the women I was traveling

16:36

with, and we went up under this tree

16:38

where there's this amazing icon

16:40

of of Mary. And

16:42

we asked for the thing in the bottom of

16:44

our hearts. And I

16:46

blurted out, I

16:48

want to be a novelist. It kinda

16:50

took me by surprise. I wanna be a

16:52

novel. I wanna be a novel. Sometimes

16:54

it's that simple that

16:57

you take a moment and

16:59

you ask yourself, what's the thing

17:01

that lies in the bottom of my heart?

17:03

And then it it

17:03

just comes up. Sometimes

17:06

it's like that.

17:07

Yeah.

17:08

Encourages is another important

17:10

component in all of this. The courage ask

17:12

that question, what lies at the bottom of my heart? The courage

17:15

to set that intention to announce

17:17

it, to make the enunciation somewhere.

17:19

And even if it

17:22

takes our own breath. Yeah. We should take

17:24

our own breath once in a

17:25

while.

17:26

Pastor went leafyips.

17:29

You were

17:29

telling me that God has

17:31

for all of us that there was a

17:34

supreme moment of destiny. Yes.

17:36

Yes. Yes. Tell me about that. you

17:38

know, all along, I like you. And

17:40

I look at your life and I

17:42

look at my own life,

17:43

we have been chasing

17:45

moments of destiny --

17:48

Mhmm. -- when the things

17:49

that you dream of as a kid and

17:51

you watch them come to reality,

17:53

those are moments of destiny. But

17:56

then

17:57

I began to realize that

17:59

and

17:59

God showed me the moments of destiny,

18:02

a moments for which you

18:04

were created. but they're not the reason

18:06

for which you were created. The

18:08

reason for which we were created

18:11

is to grow every

18:13

day. to more resemble,

18:16

reflect, and

18:17

reveal the

18:19

character of the one who created

18:22

us. Mhmm. And what we're talking about here

18:24

is aligning

18:25

with that, which is

18:27

the reason why you really came.

18:30

and that is pursuing whatever is your best

18:33

destiny. Every person who

18:35

pursues that with the

18:37

idea to resemble, reveal,

18:39

and reflect that which is the

18:41

character of your creator.

18:43

Absolutely. You are then on the right path.

18:45

Absolutely. And whether you are

18:47

tall

18:47

or short, whether

18:48

you are poor or

18:51

wealthy -- Yeah. -- you can

18:54

achieve the destiny for

18:56

which you were created. Which

18:58

is what we're all

19:00

trying to

19:02

do. Right. Nate

19:02

Burkus. A lot of people have asked

19:04

me over the years is design a

19:06

spiritual endeavor. Mhmm. And I've

19:09

always believe that it was. Mhmm. I've never really had

19:11

the language to describe why I

19:13

felt that way until I sat down to do

19:16

this book. that freedom to

19:18

actually create and design my own

19:20

world and my own timeline was

19:22

something that I knew. That was the single thing that

19:24

propelled me to start my design

19:26

firm. Just thought that you can stop and

19:28

start to create for

19:30

yourself -- Mhmm. -- what it is you want.

19:32

Absolutely. That's a that's a big leap. It was

19:34

powerful and it was it

19:36

was scary to start my own

19:38

company at twenty three years old. I I

19:40

had to also

19:41

know myself, I guess, as as well as

19:43

I thought I could at that STAGE OF MY

19:45

LIFE. DIANNA

19:47

AND I ADD. THE

19:48

WILL IS SO

19:52

UNDEFINABLE and can push you so

19:54

far beyond. I've had sports

19:56

scientists, the best of them, right me and

19:58

say, I'm sorry to tell you, this is

19:59

humanly impossible. and I write back and

20:02

say to them, you have no idea then.

20:04

You're just doing your little studies on

20:06

what the heart can do and what the what the

20:08

lungs can do. I'm

20:10

talking to you what the spirit can do and that's

20:12

not measurable. Didn't everybody say it

20:14

couldn't be done? All of them all of them

20:16

cannot be done. Go somewhere else.

20:18

Swim something lesser. it just cannot be

20:20

done. And I just said, I

20:22

still

20:22

believe, call me crazy. I don't wanna go

20:24

to ninety, keeping trying this every year,

20:26

but I believe we're gonna make it across.

20:29

a way. If it's important to you, we

20:31

can all, we can get there. And so

20:33

that was my thing this year, jellyfish,

20:36

sea sickness, Pain, cold,

20:38

find a

20:38

way. India

20:40

Ari, the way I

20:41

visualize it was I had built this big building and

20:44

it was pretty from the outside. It was shiny and

20:46

pretty and -- Yeah. -- in my mind, it was round. Like one

20:48

of those round high rises. Yeah. But

20:50

inside, it was just stuff all over the place

20:52

and people just, you know, running them up. That's how -- Yeah.

20:54

-- it it showed up in my meditation. And

20:56

when

20:56

I decided I was gonna tear that

20:59

building down -- Yeah. it

21:01

was

21:01

because I had this clarity

21:04

that ten years

21:04

from now, I'm gonna be

21:06

in my mid forties.

21:09

Yeah. And I

21:11

can't

21:11

have that shiny building on the outside that's

21:13

a mess inside. It almost makes me wanna cry

21:15

just thinking about it because I didn't know how

21:17

I was gonna do it. I was afraid. I didn't know how to

21:19

run my business. I was afraid, but I knew that I couldn't keep

21:21

doing the same thing or I was really gonna I

21:23

was gonna be off the path of my destiny and

21:26

that's really not It's not

21:28

even being alive if you're not doing what you're

21:30

gonna do.

21:31

Janet Muck. So

21:32

the reason why this is

21:34

to me a deeply spiritual conversation is

21:36

because the search for your authentic

21:39

self is the search that all of

21:41

us holds as the

21:43

pathway on our journey to becoming

21:45

the highest vision of ourselves.

21:47

And I think it's so interesting that

21:49

it took you, the time that

21:51

it took you, to become comfortable with telling

21:54

your story. And when you finally

21:56

did for Marie Claire two

21:58

thousand eleven, very few

21:59

people knew at the

22:02

time that you were trans. And you kept

22:04

it quiet because you said you

22:06

didn't want to become otherd.

22:08

Otherd.

22:10

And now we're sitting here

22:12

on Super Soul Sunday

22:15

talking about what that all means? Do you

22:17

feel that you've now been others or

22:19

have you transcended that?

22:21

I don't know if

22:22

I've transcended it yet.

22:24

I still think

22:25

that for most people, the most interesting

22:27

part about me is my transness. And

22:30

so for me, I still feel like there is an other ring

22:33

about that. I think that there's lot of power in saying

22:35

that I will proudly

22:38

and unapologetically embrace

22:40

that part of my identity for once. The

22:42

one part of my identity that I was taught growing

22:44

up to be silent and shamed

22:47

about. Right? And so to own that label

22:49

and to say that it is mine, and I will

22:51

stand here in that complicated miss

22:53

of, like, existing As a trans

22:55

person, as a trans woman, think there

22:57

is power in that, but there's still an other

22:59

ring attached to any kind of labels. I

23:01

think that that kind of qualifies personhood.

23:05

or human. But

23:06

I do think that your

23:09

book redefining realness

23:13

is the beginning. We're on the

23:15

verge of a new way of thinking

23:18

about, sexuality and

23:20

gender. and not just sexuality and gender.

23:22

The reason why I think that this book applies

23:24

to any person who is human

23:27

is because we get

23:29

other in multiple ways throughout

23:31

our lives and

23:33

your desire to redefine

23:36

realness I think is what everybody

23:38

is really looking for for themselves. Do

23:40

you not? I do. I think that we're all

23:42

searching for truth -- Yeah. -- that

23:44

there is there's so much that people are

23:46

telling you about who you are. Yeah. And I think that's

23:48

where the other ring comes in. I was

23:50

constantly as a person going

23:52

through this society trying to figure

23:54

out who I was -- Mhmm. -- in

23:57

relation to what people were telling me I

23:59

should be.

23:59

Mhmm. And so for me, redefining

24:02

realness was about tapping

24:05

into my most authentic self.

24:07

Who am I to me? And I

24:09

think that for me, realness is

24:11

about authentic see. It's about searching

24:13

and seeking truth. It's

24:15

about

24:15

being okay in

24:17

the nuance of the messiness

24:20

of figuring out who you are when you may answers yet.

24:23

Mhmm. Mhmm. And that's no

24:25

matter what your gender is, no matter what your

24:27

sexuality is, no matter where you

24:29

are on the path. Right?

24:31

Mhmm. Yeah. You talk in the book about the first

24:33

time you looked in the mirror after your surgery, you

24:36

said you felt authenticated

24:39

and closer to hold for

24:41

the first time in your life. Was that an overwhelming

24:43

moment? It was. I was

24:45

eighteen years old, and I made so

24:47

many sacrifices and compromises.

24:50

and

24:50

I got

24:52

my girl. I went out

24:54

in the

24:54

world and I got her and I

24:57

liberated her. and I went

24:59

through a whole underground railroad of

25:01

resources to get to that space where I

25:03

could stand in that mirror for the

25:05

first

25:05

time naked, and

25:08

lay, bear in my truth.

25:10

This is who I am. And I did

25:12

that on my own. And so to have that at

25:14

eighteen net gift, nothing could stop me

25:16

after that. Jack Canfield.

25:17

I believe we all

25:19

have unlimited possibilities to become

25:21

pretty much anything we want.

25:23

because I believe you're not given a dream unless you have the capacity

25:25

to fulfill it. You won't be allowed to have

25:27

it. Now you may need to learn new

25:30

things Maybe it took your mentor, you may need to

25:32

team That's a powerful super cell message. You

25:34

don't even have a dream that

25:37

you're not allowed fulfill. Exactly. You have

25:39

the capacity. You won't be allowed to have the dream. If

25:41

you don't have the ability, the

25:43

talent, the skills that you'll you may

25:45

need to develop more skill, but you have the

25:47

capacity to do anything you can

25:49

dream up. Whatever the mind can conceive and

25:51

believe the mind can conceive,

25:53

yeah. TD

25:54

jakes.

25:57

We are busier

25:59

than

25:59

any other generation we have

26:02

seen in the last three to four hundred years.

26:04

We are so busy. We are

26:06

busier than a one

26:06

arm wallpaper hanger. We're just busy.

26:09

You'll get it later. Don't worry about it. It'll it'll

26:11

hit you in a minute. we are

26:13

just as busy as we can be, and

26:15

we think

26:15

because we're busy, we're

26:18

effective. But I

26:18

want you to challenge your schedule

26:20

for a minute and ask yourself,

26:23

are you really being effective

26:25

or is your life cluttered

26:27

with all kinds

26:28

of stuff? that demands you and trains

26:31

you and taxes you

26:32

and stops you from being your highest

26:34

and best self and are you

26:36

substituting business

26:38

and all the chaos that goes along

26:40

with business from being effective.

26:43

Daniel

26:44

Pink. I just

26:46

always wanna get better.

26:48

And that question, I ask myself, am

26:50

I better

26:50

today than I was yesterday? It's a profoundly

26:53

important question. better today than way. This

26:55

is this I mean, I think it's a great question.

26:57

We have an exercise in this book where we we

26:59

have these two parts. One would you ask yourself, what's your

27:01

sentence? Yes. This comes from a famous story

27:03

of a Claire Booth who asked president Kennedy,

27:05

who said, hey, a great man is a

27:07

sentence. You don't have a sentence. You've got a

27:09

paragraph, and that doesn't

27:10

work. And Lincoln, if you really

27:12

wanna be great, Lincoln had a sentence. He preserved the

27:14

union and freed the slaves. Wow. Good

27:17

sentence.

27:17

FDR had a

27:18

sentence. He lifted us out of a great depression

27:21

and helped us win a world

27:23

war. Awesome sentence. And she she went into

27:25

Kennedy and said, listen, a

27:26

great man is a

27:27

sentence. A great person is

27:30

a sentence. And I find that really useful in

27:32

sort of orienting our lives toward purpose. And ask them,

27:34

you know, we ask ourselves, what's your

27:36

sentence? Yeah. What and I

27:38

think that's really clarifying

27:38

for people. But okay. Okay. And you know what

27:40

mine is? What you said? Mine was I was thinking

27:42

about this lesson. I was thinking, well, what I

27:44

wanted to be is that I teach

27:46

people to lead their best lives by leading my own.

27:49

Whoa. That's a good sentence. That's a

27:51

good sentence. Yeah. I like that. Okay. On your keeper.

27:53

It's a keeper. What's your

27:55

sentence? Man, I don't I don't wanna follow

27:57

that one. Now my sentence as I

27:59

thought about

27:59

this was he wrote books that that help

28:02

people understand the world a little more clearly

28:04

and live their lives a little more fully. Well,

28:06

that's good. The second question is and

28:08

I I find this really useful for myself is ask

28:10

yourself at the end of the day. Was I better

28:13

today than yesterday? because that's really all we can ask

28:15

for. And what I have found in my own this has

28:17

been really helpful to me, this one. What I have

28:19

found, when I asked myself at the end of the day was I better

28:21

today than yesterday, is

28:23

that many times the answer

28:25

is no. But what I find is, which is

28:27

interesting, and I'm curious to see you other

28:29

people's reaction to this, is that I find that The answer

28:31

is rarely no two days in a row. That

28:34

if the answer is no. If the answer is

28:36

no when I go to sleep, I'm

28:38

just a little ticked off and

28:40

you wake up the next morning with little bit more resolve. To make

28:42

it better. Yeah. Because you're not here forever. It's

28:44

like, oh, great. I wasn't better today than yesterday.

28:46

That was a waste. Let's not do that

28:48

again. Absolutely. And that's how we make progress. We do

28:51

it slowly step by step by

28:53

step. Daniel

28:54

Coleman I once

28:56

was giving a talk to a roomful of CEOs,

28:58

and I said, how many of you were ballet historians,

29:00

like, smartest kid in your class?

29:03

two, three hundred people, three hands went up

29:05

in the room. It's not related.

29:07

This is the big, I think,

29:09

myth that the book shatters, you know.

29:12

that was eye opener for me, is that

29:14

your IQ, your academic

29:17

abilities, your cognitive brilliance is

29:19

not what's going to matter the most. Actually,

29:21

that's threshold. Get you in the

29:23

game. Yeah. But once you're in the game, it's

29:25

how you get along with the people, how you

29:27

handle yourself. So your IQ can tell you

29:29

what you can do. but

29:31

it can't tell you how to do it. And it's not

29:33

gonna tell you if you're gonna emerge as a team leader,

29:35

as a star. It's not gonna tell you how

29:37

good a parent are gonna be, how good a spouse

29:39

are gonna be. Sean Ichor.

29:41

What we started learning

29:42

was that intelligence only

29:45

accounts for twenty five percent of our job

29:47

success. seventy five percent of our successes

29:49

in life and not just about jobs, but

29:51

within the working

29:52

world, seventy five percent of what causes our kids

29:54

to be successful causes us to

29:57

be successful. It's not about our

29:59

intelligence and technical

29:59

skills. It's how we process the world. It's

30:02

our optimism. Like, the belief our

30:04

behavior really matters.

30:05

Jeff Weiner,

30:06

wiener the least compassionate

30:07

thing you can do when someone is not equipped to be

30:10

doing what they're doing is to leave them in

30:12

that role. And

30:14

all you need to do is watch and observe that

30:16

person, and you'll understand how

30:19

little compassion is being shown to that

30:21

individual because of the body language, the

30:23

slumping of the shoulders, the fact that

30:25

their their voice, their

30:27

inflection starts They lose some variance. They lose

30:29

confidence. There's none self esteem by

30:31

the day. They're taking that back to their

30:33

teens. People are seeing that you're leaving them

30:35

in the role, which is undermining your ability

30:37

to lead -- Right. -- and the worst of all, Is

30:39

that individual that no longer believes in

30:41

themselves that's losing their sense of self? They

30:43

take that energy home. They're

30:45

taking that energy home to

30:47

their family. Wes Moore.

30:48

more I just come back from

30:49

Afghanistan and he was like, so what are you planning

30:52

on doing next with your life?

30:54

And I went to tell him I was go work on Wall Street and I

30:56

expected him to be excited and he was like,

30:59

really? And I told him I said that's not

31:01

the answer though. thought you'd

31:03

give me. And he said, why are you gonna do

31:05

that? And I started giving all these reasons. I said,

31:07

well, I helped my grandparents. My grandparents. I'm,

31:09

you know, helping finance my family. I'm can

31:11

be around really smart people, all this kind of stuff.

31:13

And he said to me, you know, you just explained

31:15

to me for the past three minutes why you're doing it and

31:17

not once did the words because I'm passionate

31:19

come out of your mouth. And he said,

31:21

listen, Wes, I'm never gonna judge you.

31:23

And I'm never gonna judge the decisions that

31:25

you make, particularly if you feel like they're in the best

31:27

interest of your family. The only

31:29

thing I ask is this, the

31:31

moment that you feel that you can leave

31:33

that place. Leave. Because

31:35

every moment you stay longer than you have

31:37

to, you will become extraordinarily ordinary.

31:41

Wow. That felt like an

31:43

indictment. Because I feel

31:46

like we all spend

31:48

our time trying to

31:50

be extraordinary in some way, shape, or

31:52

form? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And the

31:54

idea that you think you're doing what

31:56

is the right thing to do. Yes.

31:58

And this person is telling you, but the

32:00

longer you do it, you will become

32:02

extraordinarily ordinary because if you're not

32:04

passionate about then you'll never be

32:06

able to fall into your own truth. Absolutely.

32:09

When you were first told about going to

32:11

Wall Street though, You said in the back of my

32:13

mind, I heard the rattled of

32:15

expensive handcuffs. Yes. I love

32:17

that line. Those things are real. Yes. Right?

32:19

It's like, well, you know, Now

32:21

my kids are going to the school, or I have a second

32:23

car, I have to take care of it, but whatever it is,

32:25

those those things that we're now making decisions

32:27

based on how do I now I

32:30

got here I have to keep doing

32:32

this, to maintain the

32:34

life as I now know it. That's exactly right.

32:36

Had you

32:36

been feeling a sense of unease

32:38

or unhappy? Were you all the way to

32:41

unhappy or just a sense

32:42

of what am I doing? It

32:43

was actually, I think, an interesting

32:46

marriage of both that I was having a difficult time understanding which

32:48

one was which, where I

32:50

felt like I knew with everything going

32:52

on that this wasn't where my

32:55

joy lasted. And I know it was

32:57

incredibly risky. I know it was incredibly risky to

32:59

go out, but I think I had to make a very

33:01

conscious decision that I would

33:04

rather flirt with failure -- Yeah. -- then never dance

33:06

with my joy. It was like, they're like, I was constantly

33:08

searching through an occupation to find

33:10

my my joy. And

33:12

I realized it's not about your occupation. It's about your

33:15

work. Because they're two different

33:17

things. My work was where my greatest

33:19

joy actually started combining with the world's

33:21

greatest need. And that's when I

33:23

That's what real services. That's what real services.

33:26

Yeah.

33:28

Shonda

33:28

Rhimes

33:30

When I was a kid,

33:30

my father used to say to me all the time, the only

33:33

limit to your success is your own

33:35

imagination. And I took

33:37

that as not just being,

33:39

you know, financial success or work

33:41

success. I took that as being every kind of

33:43

success. Love and family and an

33:45

emotional and everything. The only limit to

33:47

your success is your own imagination. I

33:49

really do think that that is true. Whatever you can

33:52

imagine is possible.

33:53

That is true. I'm so proud

33:56

of you.

33:56

As

33:59

a

33:59

very

33:59

successful woman, a single mother of three

34:02

who constantly just asked the question,

34:03

how do you do it

34:05

all? The answer is this.

34:07

I don't. If I'm

34:09

accepting a prestigious award, I'm missing

34:11

my baby's first

34:14

swim lesson. If

34:14

I met my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing

34:16

Sandra O's last scene ever being

34:18

filmed to Grey's Anatomy. If

34:21

I six eating at one, I am inevitably failing

34:23

at the other. That is the trade

34:26

off.

34:28

And yet, I

34:30

want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example

34:32

set for them. I like how proud they are

34:34

and they come to my offices and know that they come

34:37

to Sean to land. There is

34:39

a and is after mother. Divan

34:43

Franklin.

34:45

you are

34:45

fulfilled when you get up in the morning. You know, so

34:47

many times wake up in the morning, we're depressed, we're down,

34:49

we're angry, we're frustrated. But when you can wake

34:52

up saying, I'm glad to be alive. Mhmm. There is purpose of this

34:54

day. Mhmm. To me, that is success. And I

34:56

would argue that once you have that

34:58

internal success,

35:00

Yeah. Then externally, it's just a manifestation of what

35:02

happens internally in the best

35:04

possible way. I'm overwin for

35:07

and you've been listening to Super

35:09

Bowl conversations, the podcast. You

35:11

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35:26

listening. Hi.

35:28

I'm Tom

35:29

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