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1:02

I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to SuperSoul

1:05

Conversations, The podcast. I

1:08

believe that one of the most valuable gifts you

1:10

can give yourself is

1:13

time. Taking time

1:15

to be more fully present. Your

1:18

journey to become more inspired and

1:20

connected to the deeper world around

1:22

us starts right

1:25

now. I

1:27

can say with certainty that

1:30

had I not read Gary Zhukov's

1:32

book the seat of There

1:34

would be no super soul Sunday. There

1:37

would be no own TV

1:40

and the Oprah Winfrey show would

1:42

probably not have been on

1:44

the air for twenty five years. It

1:47

would have ended sooner. Anyone

1:50

who knows me knows, the principle of

1:52

intention that I learned from Gary

1:55

change the way I approach everything.

1:58

In fact, I talk about the importance

2:00

of intention so much that people often recite

2:02

my own words back to me. Just

2:05

hearing, intention rules

2:08

every outcome makes me

2:10

want to stand up and cheer. The

2:13

lesson I learned from my conversations with

2:15

Gary may sound simple, but

2:18

it is the universal truth

2:20

behind all relationships. The

2:24

energy we put out

2:26

in the world is

2:28

the energy we get

2:30

back. So if

2:32

you want more love in your life, set

2:35

your intention to be

2:37

more loving. If you seek

2:39

kindness, focus your energy

2:42

on empathy and compassion,

2:45

Conversely, if you wonder why

2:47

there's so many angry people in your life,

2:50

look no further than the resentment

2:53

you hold. In your own heart.

2:56

Anyone who's on the path of a spiritual awakening

2:59

needs to know that it's

3:02

sometimes difficult. It's

3:04

challenging when you declare. I

3:07

wanna grow. I wanna be better

3:09

than I've known myself to be. But

3:12

I don't see the opportunity to craft our

3:15

own lives as a burden. I

3:17

see it as one of the gifts of

3:20

being a lie. For so

3:22

many years, I suffered from what

3:24

I call a disease to please.

3:26

I worried that if I ever said no

3:29

to something, were gonna think I wasn't nice

3:31

or they might think was selfish and ask,

3:33

why wouldn't you do that for me? The

3:36

power of intention cured

3:38

me of that. I stopped

3:40

listening to that little voice in my head

3:42

that was trying to convince me of what other

3:45

people thought. I made the

3:47

shift to listen to the

3:49

truth of who I really

3:51

was telling me what

3:53

I really wanted. This

3:56

shift can happen for you too. Before

3:59

you agree to do anything that might add even

4:01

the smallest amount of stress to your life,

4:03

ask yourself, what

4:06

is my truest intention?

4:09

What's the real reason I'm doing

4:11

this? Give yourself

4:14

time to let the answer

4:16

resound within you when the

4:18

intention is right

4:20

and the answer is Yes.

4:23

I guarantee your entire body will feel

4:25

it. This episode is brought to you by peacock

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presenting the new original limited series

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5:55

First, Gary Zukov.

5:58

Now you know the most exciting chapter

6:00

to me and see this all.

6:01

What's that? It is the principal boy, which I rule

6:03

my company. And at the principal by which

6:05

I rule every action in my life.

6:07

And that is intention.

6:11

Yes. Yes. Intention.

6:14

That's at the heart of it. That's at the heart of creating

6:16

authentic

6:16

power. Yes. Intention.

6:20

To the point where I now people make jokes about

6:22

it. I mean, everybody I've said it so

6:24

often. You know, when I first learned about

6:26

intention from you. And

6:29

this is what everybody needs to know who's on

6:31

the path of spiritually opening

6:33

yourself up, awakening is

6:35

that it's difficult. It's challenging when

6:37

you say I wanna grow. I want to

6:39

be better than I have known

6:41

myself to be. So I used to have the disease

6:44

to please. intention

6:47

cured

6:47

me. An intention is a quality

6:49

of consciousness that you bring to,

6:52

a deed or

6:53

words. It's an energy.

6:55

So it's a quality of conscious. Got

6:57

it. It's your reason for speaking.

7:00

So the real motivation is the

7:02

one that creates consequences.

7:04

For example, when someone says I want

7:06

a bigger home, it could be because

7:08

I want to impress the neighbors, or

7:11

it could be because we've adopted

7:13

four children. And I wanna

7:15

give them more space. Mhmm. So

7:17

it's the y beneath the

7:19

y. Mhmm.

7:20

The y

7:20

beneath the y. The y. You you might say

7:23

that the first intention, like, I wanna

7:25

get another job so that I can have more

7:27

money. This could be called an out

7:29

tension. Mhmm. Because it's really what you

7:31

wanna do to change

7:33

things in the world. But your intention

7:36

is the bedrock bottom

7:38

This is it, real intention. I

7:42

want to support my wife. She

7:44

needs some support now. I wanna send

7:46

my children to college. I

7:48

want to have room for my newly

7:50

adopted

7:50

children. And what you're saying here is

7:53

that the consciousness or

7:55

energy behind the motivation is

7:57

going to determine the effect

8:01

that occurs precisely. Precisely.

8:04

So powerful and profound.

8:06

And now, Joel Osteen, I

8:10

heard a sermon that you preached probably

8:12

two thousand twelve on the power of

8:15

I am. And that

8:17

sermon literally changed

8:20

how I spoke power

8:22

into my own life. So I think

8:24

remember telling you this story. I was shooting the butler.

8:27

I had heard that sermon. I was

8:29

so exhausted. I was like, trying.

8:31

We've been shooting and shooting and shooting and

8:34

I remembered hearing that

8:36

term and your voice came into my head that

8:39

whatever follows I

8:41

am will

8:43

determine what your experience

8:45

will be. Yeah. Yeah. And so

8:48

I literally thought, okay, I'm gonna just try that

8:50

because I was how long is it all started? And

8:52

I started saying, I am

8:56

getting my second win. Yeah. I

8:58

am going to feel so much

9:00

better by midnight I'm

9:02

gonna wanna shoot all night. I

9:04

am. And I'm telling you I started

9:06

to feel differently, and I couldn't

9:09

believe that it that it happened so

9:10

quickly. I know. It's an incredible principle.

9:13

I don't think we realized that, you know,

9:15

like you said, what follows that I am, we're inviting

9:17

into our life. You say I am

9:20

you know, tired. I am frustrated.

9:23

I am lonely. I think you're inviting more of

9:25

that in that. So the principal is to turn it

9:27

around, invite what you want into your life. Okay.

9:29

So this is it. Whatever follows

9:32

I am will eventually

9:34

find you. Those are your exact words in the

9:36

sermon. Think a lot of times we wanna say, I feel,

9:39

you know what I am lonely, I am tired, and

9:41

I think there's a there's a balance to it. And don't

9:43

think you're denying the facts. Otherwise, hey, well,

9:45

I'm just hiding my head in the sand. It's not so

9:48

much that. It's just not magnifying the negative.

9:50

And like I talked about in the book that I am a masterpiece.

9:53

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I

9:55

am strong. I am talented. I

9:57

think that is speaking to the core of what

9:59

God's put in each one of us that he has equipped

10:02

us. He's empowered us. We have what we need

10:04

to fulfill our destiny, but I do think that

10:06

we have to bring it out. And you can't bring it

10:08

out being against yourself. A lot

10:10

of people, they may not say it out loud

10:12

as

10:13

much. But in their mind, it's I am not

10:15

that talented, and I'm not as smart as my

10:17

sister and Just all the negative I ams.

10:19

And I think that keeps us from our desk So

10:21

we've heard that phrase speaking truth to power.

10:23

It feels like when you understand

10:26

that whatever follows I

10:29

am is going to eventually find

10:31

you that if you start speaking

10:34

all the positive aspects

10:36

of yourself. I am secure. I

10:38

am valuable. I am approved. I

10:40

am determined. I am generous. Whatever

10:43

that is for you. When you start

10:45

allowing what

10:47

you want to be your truth, even if it isn't

10:50

at this moment, you begin to

10:52

speak truth the truth of I

10:54

am to the power of what can

10:56

be. I just love that.

10:58

Don't you? Now let's listen to

11:00

David Brooks. I love it in the

11:02

book where you talk

11:03

about, we should rank our loves and

11:05

highs and lows. Tell me what that does.

11:07

That's a concept from this great Philotian

11:09

Augustine. And he said, what is sin?

11:12

Mhmm. And so when we use

11:14

the word sin now, we only use the word in the context

11:16

of fatning desserts. But in

11:18

Traditional morality, it's a sense that we have something

11:20

broken. And don't like the word sin

11:23

when it's meant to suggest we're dark and depraved

11:25

inside. But he had a beautiful formulation.

11:28

He said, we sin when we have our loves out of

11:30

order.

11:31

And when

11:31

he went by Good. This is good. Slow this down a

11:33

little bit. That's good. Alright.

11:35

Send when we have our loves out of

11:38

order. Yes.

11:38

So we all love a lot of things. We love

11:40

family.

11:41

We love money. We love a little affectionate status.

11:44

Truth. And we all know that some loves are higher.

11:47

We know that our love of family is higher than

11:49

our love of money or our love of truth should be

11:51

higher than our love of money. And if we're lying

11:53

to get money, we're putting our loves

11:55

out of order. And so sometimes

11:57

we just, by some nature, we get them out of

11:59

order. So for example, if a friend tells

12:01

you a secret, and you blab it

12:03

at a dinner party, you're putting your

12:06

love of popularity above your love of friendship.

12:08

And we know that's wrong. That's the wrong order.

12:11

And so it's useful just to sit down and

12:13

say, what do I love? What are things I really love?

12:15

And in what order do I love them?

12:17

Am I spending time? So I'm spending time

12:20

on my highest love or am I spending time

12:22

on lower love?

12:23

Such a good lesson and reminder. Next

12:26

is, Bernae Brown.

12:28

What does it mean then? To

12:30

dare greatly. To me,

12:32

it means the courage to be

12:34

vulnerable. It means to

12:37

show up and be seen, to ask

12:39

for what you need, to talk about how

12:41

you're feeling, to have the hard conversations.

12:43

When we asked people in the research,

12:46

you know, what is vulnerability to you?

12:48

Mhmm. Most people think vulnerability is weak.

12:50

Right. And you know what? After reading,

12:52

Darren Gregley, what I realized for of all

12:54

is I live in the space of vulnerability. And

12:56

that is what has made me so successful. Is

12:59

my vulnerability with the audience?

13:02

And I think that vulnerability

13:05

is sort of the cornerstone of

13:08

confidence. I think it's

13:10

the cornerstone because I believe that.

13:12

Because unless you can

13:14

allow yourself to take the

13:16

risk, to be and to live as a

13:19

whole hearted person. When you can do

13:21

that, you recognize that you're really just like

13:23

everybody else, and that gives you

13:25

the confidence to be yourself. Which is

13:27

all you really need in life is to be

13:29

more of yourself.

13:30

And I do believe coming from Romeabili's

13:33

weakness when we ask people, what is vulnerability?

13:35

And they said things to us like, the

13:38

first date after my divorce -- Mhmm. --

13:41

trying to get pregnant after my third miscarriage.

13:44

Sitting with my wife who has stage four breast cancer,

13:47

making plans for our young children. You

13:49

know, the biggest examples that came up from the

13:51

research was picking

13:53

up the phone and making a call to someone

13:55

who's just had a great loss. Ugh. Yes.

13:58

And I thought about that in my own life. Like, you know,

14:00

there's the phone.

14:01

I walk up to it and I'm like, what am I gonna

14:03

say?

14:04

What am I

14:04

gonna say? That's what everybody hears. It's gonna

14:06

make it better. Yeah. There's nothing I can say except

14:08

I'm here. I'm hurting with you. You're not alone. But

14:10

you know when I'll call in an

14:11

hour. Mhmm. And then I come back an hour,

14:13

I'm like, oh, man, it's dinner time. I'm a baker

14:15

casserole.

14:16

I'm a baker casserole. All done that.

14:18

Right. Yeah. And then what

14:21

happens when an hour turns into a day,

14:23

it turns into a

14:24

week, and then it's a month later, and you run into that

14:26

friend at grocery store. Well, you

14:28

know what?

14:29

What have called? Just to show up. That's all people

14:31

want. It's just to if it's for you to show

14:33

up and say, don't know what to

14:34

say, but I'm here. I

14:35

can't fix

14:36

this. Yeah.

14:36

But I'll walk through the pain

14:37

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. But

14:40

then what is the feeling that we get when we

14:42

make the call and we hang up? To

14:44

me, that feeling is when I'm aligned

14:46

with my values. Encourages

14:48

my value. Absolutely. And you

14:50

can't get to courage without walking through

14:52

vulnerability. Period. This episode

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17:02

Sum up kid. I marched

17:04

into the kitchen where

17:06

my husband was getting our two toddlers

17:09

to either cereal and made

17:11

my big enunciation, I'm

17:13

going to be a writer. And I

17:15

was getting in touch with that creative

17:18

desire inside of me. And

17:20

I began to understand that was going

17:22

home. I was going to write because that had been

17:24

an innate desiring me

17:26

as a child. You find this

17:28

little light in yourself. And then, of

17:30

course, you lose it and you have to refine it and you lose

17:32

it. I mean, that's part of finding

17:34

our place of belonging -- Yeah. -- that I

17:36

walked in.

17:37

And for you, it was writing? It was writing,

17:40

of course. And when I

17:42

made this announcement in the kitchen, you know.

17:44

My husband said, oh,

17:46

that's that's great and continued

17:48

to get them to

17:50

eat their cereal. And that was it.

17:52

So I didn't know anything about

17:54

writing. I called it.

17:56

So you hadn't been writing all along. You hadn't

17:58

been writing little things.

17:59

No. I kept a journal from time to

18:02

time. That was something I had done as a

18:04

child. When I was a little girl,

18:06

I used write little stories and newspapers

18:09

and all kinds of things. But

18:11

until I was thirty, I

18:13

really had not pursued it. I had walked

18:15

away from

18:16

it. Were you afraid to

18:18

make that announcement? And did you think by making

18:21

such an announcement, such a pro

18:23

announcement, that that would then propel

18:25

you into doing it actually. I think

18:27

it does help -- Yeah. -- when we make

18:30

that kind of statement. It's an enunciation

18:32

to ourselves to

18:35

the powers that be -- Mhmm. -- to the divine.

18:38

This is my intention. So I think

18:40

it helps to say our intention

18:42

out loud And then the moment I said

18:44

it, of course, I thought, what do

18:46

I know about this? It is a great absurdity,

18:49

but everybody needs a great

18:50

absurdity, at least one of them. Right?

18:52

Devon,

18:54

Franklin. So

18:56

one of the things that you say that really

18:58

struck me is that

19:00

if we look at our life as a movie

19:03

and god as the director --

19:05

Yes. -- of our movie -- Yeah. --

19:07

then we use our faith to

19:09

help propel us forward and trusting in the

19:11

director. Yeah. Correct? Yes. Okay. Absolutely.

19:14

Because what I realized is that sometimes

19:16

we in the most difficult times in our

19:19

story, we begin to lose faith.

19:21

Okay.

19:21

Listen listen to what

19:22

you said. Okay. I love this part. The

19:25

trouble is is that when you are characterized

19:27

story, when you are immersed

19:29

in it, you can't see how things will progress

19:31

in the future that you lack

19:34

perspective. It's tough to lose the job

19:36

you love, shrug and say, oh, well, God

19:38

is obviously putting me in a position for something

19:40

better. To happen in a few weeks. That's normally

19:42

not what we

19:43

do. We go Oh, lord. It's all over.

19:45

Oh, over. Why did this happen to me?

19:47

Okay? becomes very easy

19:49

to assume that things will always be the way they

19:51

are today. Here's what I love. The

19:53

truth is you and I are in control

19:56

of only two things. How

19:59

we prepare, get this everybody. We're in control

20:01

of only two things. How we prepare --

20:03

Mhmm. -- for what might happen and how

20:06

we respond to what

20:08

just happened. The moment when things

20:10

actually do happen belongs

20:13

to

20:13

God. Amen. Brilliant. No.

20:15

Brilliant. It's true. It's true because what

20:17

happens is the moments when things happen

20:19

in our life, we don't control. In a moment,

20:22

life can change for the better or what in the moment

20:24

may seem for the worse. Yeah. So our job

20:26

is to prepare to

20:27

read. For only two things. That's right. Prepare

20:30

for what might happen. That's right. And then

20:32

how we respond

20:33

what has happened? Because so many times, what keeps

20:35

us in that valley of depression that keeps us in that valley

20:38

of frustration is our response to

20:40

a moment. And not recognizing that

20:42

it is exactly that. It's a moment. It's one

20:44

scene of your movie.

20:45

Yeah. You know, what makes a great movie are

20:48

scenes that are put together of great conflict.

20:50

Okay. The key is remembering your

20:53

story. Mhmm. The spiritual career

20:55

journey parallels the steps involved

20:57

in bringing movie from the initial idea

20:59

to theatrical release. Yes. If you start with the colonel

21:02

committee, a process known as development and

21:04

production You say in the book is that development

21:06

begins when you have the first

21:09

vision of what you can

21:10

be. Exactly. You can't

21:12

write a movie. Unless you know what

21:14

the movie is supposed to be about. That's what

21:16

development is. Sometimes we get so frustrated in

21:18

our lives, but we have to go back and say, wait a minute. Do

21:21

I understand what the big idea of my

21:23

life is supposed to be? If my life was a

21:25

story, then I have to know the point of my story.

21:27

And sometimes what happens when we start developing

21:30

a movie, the producers may have one vision

21:32

of what the movie is supposed to be, and the studio

21:34

has another version. And then the movie becomes

21:36

nothing. Because there's not clarity

21:38

of idea. So with our life, we have

21:40

to have clarity of what we're supposed to do.

21:42

What do we believe we're called to do in

21:45

this life And then that way, it gives our whole

21:47

development process more

21:48

shade. I am getting goosebumps right now.

21:50

You know why? Why? Because I know that

21:53

the way that landed with me and the way I heard

21:56

it, that anybody who's hearing you, also

21:58

can hear that, can feel the kernel

22:00

of. If you are not in

22:03

control of the development of your

22:05

life or aware that your

22:07

life needs developing and

22:10

are just waking up every morning, going

22:12

to a job, going through the motions,

22:15

getting your paycheck, then you

22:18

are really, it's I always say it's sort of

22:20

like being the Walking Dead -- Yeah. -- that you're not

22:22

in control. You're not helping

22:25

to co create your life. With the ultimate

22:27

creator.

22:27

You have to define success and I define success

22:30

as peace. Me too.

22:32

You're my kind of guy.

22:35

Amy Purdy.

22:37

I was born a daydreamer. So

22:40

I think daydreaming just

22:43

turned into visualizing -- Yeah.

22:45

-- especially when I understood the power of

22:47

it Mhmm. -- in my worst moments,

22:49

in my darkest moments, is when I've

22:52

done my most visualizing. And

22:55

even being here today with you

22:58

was part of that vision. And when

23:01

I lost my legs, one of

23:03

the toughest periods was when I stood

23:05

up in my legs for the first time because

23:07

they were so painful. And they were

23:09

so confining that I

23:12

thought, how am I ever going to live

23:14

this life of my dreams? How am I ever going

23:16

to travel the world? How am I ever going to snowboard

23:18

again? And that day, this

23:20

was the first day I'd stood up in my legs. I

23:22

was so emotionally and physically broken that

23:24

I crawled into bed and I didn't get out for

23:26

a good fifteen hours. I just laid

23:28

in bed, completely exhausted, could

23:30

not wrap my head around the fact that this is

23:33

my life, and I have to navigate my life

23:35

with these like, hunks of hardware

23:37

as my legs that barely

23:39

move, that are so uncomfortable. And I'm sure

23:41

there's a part of you that you're

23:44

anticipating, okay, I'm gonna get my new legs

23:46

up to my

23:47

legs. My legs are coming. Yeah. Yeah. And

23:49

I thought these these are my

23:51

legs that I'm living in de risked of

23:53

my life. So emotionally, physically,

23:56

mentally, just broken, drained.

23:59

And it was times like

24:01

those, though, like, times where

24:03

I I think I had just hit a point where I was

24:05

so sick and tired of being

24:07

sick and tired. And I didn't allow myself to

24:09

sit in that spot too long. Just not that

24:11

type of person. I have to keep moving somehow.

24:14

So I hit this point

24:16

where I realized my legs are not coming back.

24:18

I mean, they're not coming back. And there

24:20

is nothing I can do about this situation

24:23

right now. And it was

24:25

that moment that kind

24:27

of prompted me to ask myself this

24:29

question, if my life

24:31

was a book and I was

24:34

the author, how would I want the

24:36

story to go? And I thought,

24:38

well, I don't wanna see myself as

24:41

this sad, disabled girl. I know that.

24:43

I don't want other people to see me as that either.

24:46

I thought what do I wanna see? I wanna

24:48

see myself walking

24:50

again gracefully. And I

24:52

wanted to see myself somehow

24:55

sharing, somehow helping

24:57

other people through this journey. And

24:59

I saw myself snowboarding again.

25:01

And I have visualized it so strongly

25:04

in that moment that I didn't just

25:06

see myself carving down this mountain

25:08

of powder. I could feel it.

25:11

I could feel the wind against my face. I

25:13

could feel the beat of my racing

25:15

heart. I could feel my muscles twitching.

25:18

As if it was happening in that very moment.

25:20

And I didn't know how

25:22

I was going to do

25:23

it, but I knew that I was going to do it.

25:25

That's incredible. That's incredible.

25:28

That is incredible. And now

25:30

I try to live my life with

25:33

that knowingness that if you

25:35

can see it and you can feel

25:37

it and you believe it, then it is

25:39

completely possible.

25:43

Diana and I add, SO

25:45

I STARTED THINKING MY MOM DIED AT eighty two.

25:48

DOES THAT MEAN, REALLY, I HAVE twenty two YEARS

25:50

LEFT AND MAYBE THOSE LAST TWO OR THREE OR FOUR

25:52

AREN'T GOING TO BE too vital. I don't know.

25:54

But the clock is like choking

25:56

me now, and it wasn't so much.

25:59

What did I wanna do? It was who I

26:01

wanna be. WOW. THAT'S WHAT

26:03

IT WAS. IT'S LIKE THAT, I REALLY DON'T HAVE IT IN

26:05

FRONT OF ME, BUT THERE'S A HENRY DAVID

26:07

THE ROE QUOTE THAT REALLY GRIPPED

26:09

ME HARD AND IT SAYS when you achieve

26:11

your goals in

26:12

life, it's not what that gets

26:14

you, but it's who I am.

26:16

Right.

26:17

Right. It's who I am and I and I needed

26:19

at six see. I needed to say,

26:22

forget about the ledger. Are you in the halls

26:24

of fame? Did you make some kind of money

26:26

to I don't care about that anymore. As you know,

26:28

those things as you get older -- That's right. -- bears.

26:30

That's right. Am I living the life that

26:32

I can admire? Am I gonna leave this

26:34

Earth maybe as you do leaving at a

26:36

place where it's a little more just

26:39

that it was and human rights have been

26:41

fulfilled more than that. Those are my values

26:43

and never giving up and finding

26:46

a way through your obstacles. And

26:48

finding your grit and your will, those

26:50

are what I value. And at sixty, it wasn't

26:52

about swimming. And the swim for me has never

26:54

been about swimming. And I don't think to anybody

26:56

out there, it's about swimming. It's about those

26:58

values. And I, you know what? I am that

27:00

person. Swimming or not. And I proved

27:03

it to myself, and that's why I did the swim.

27:06

I'm over Winfrey, and you've been listening

27:08

to SuperSoul conversations, the

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27:25

Thank you for listening.