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This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 2709. Seven

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Steps to Embracing Change Without Fear

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or Frustration, part 2, by

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Sabrina of buddingoptimist.com. And

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I'm Justin Molick. Welcome to OLD,

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where I read articles to you with permission from

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the authors. But today being a continuation

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from yesterday, so I recommend listening to

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yesterday's episode first. That's

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episode 2708. But if you're all caught

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up, let's get right to part 2 and continue

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optimizing your life.

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7 Steps to Embracing Change Without

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Fear or Frustration, Part 2

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by Sabrina of buddingoptimists.com

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I've

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done a lot of venting myself, and

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I've also observed plenty of venting sessions

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in my line of work as HR, and

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one thing I've learned about venting is that it doesn't

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you feel better.

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In fact, it can make you feel worse. How

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come?

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Here's my humble insight on why venting

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hurts more than it benefits our well-being.

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Venting is about expressing negative

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emotions, not solving problems.

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The problem still persists after you

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vent, causing you further grief

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down the road.

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Venting is like regurgitating a bad lunch.

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You keep chewing on negative feelings

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and thoughts instead of letting them And

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venting often amplifies tiny,

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insignificant problems into gigantic

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issues.

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You ever notice how when you're venting, the smallest

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thing can seem like a huge deal?

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And research agrees that venting is

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bad for us. A study published

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in the European Journal of Work and Organizational

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Psychology shows that venting

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about negative events

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makes us retain them longer in our memories

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and increases their emotional impact.

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As a result, we feel worse.

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I'm not gonna lie, venting feels

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so good. When

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we're in the midst of a major change, it's

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not unusual to feel out of our el- This

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can lead to anger and frustration and

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is tempting to voice those feelings to anyone

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who would listen. But remember, venting

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won't make the change go away and

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it won't make you feel good in the long term either.

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Instead, try approaching challenges with

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a problem-solving mindset and

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whenever you can, look for the silver lining

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in the situation. Number

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four, remind yourself

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where your eyes are facing.

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I once heard a line in a random TV show

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that I can't recall the name of,

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and I thought it embodied the kind of attitude we

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need to adopt in the face of any change.

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The line goes something like this,

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where are our eyes? They're not

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on the side or the back of our heads. They're

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set at the front, facing forward.

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Why? To remind us to look

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ahead. It makes you think,

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doesn't it? It's common for people to compare

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the then and now when change occurs.

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remark I often hear is, I wish

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things could go back to the way they were,

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but time doesn't flow backward and change

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rarely reverses itself.

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All we can do is remind ourselves where

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our eyes are facing and remember

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that that is the direction we should be looking.

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If we keep looking back, we'll

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only hinder our ability to move forward

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in our lives. Number 5.

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Set realistic expectations.

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One important key to embracing change is

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to set realistic expectations about

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what you can do and how you'll feel.

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What

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do I mean by that? For example,

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let's say that you're starting a new job. That's

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a pretty big change, especially if you've been at your

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old job for a while. You'd expect

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that for the first few months you'll likely feel

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overwhelmed and disoriented and

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you might not perform your best.

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Later, you're not shocked when you encounter

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these situations and feelings.

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Why?

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you had realistic expectations

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of what things would be like during

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this adjustment period. But if you had

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expected that you'll find your groove right

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away in this new job, you'll

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be disappointed and worried.

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when things don't pan out the way

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you imagined. And what's the best

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way to set realistic expectations

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for how you'll feel in the future? According

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to Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert, the author

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of one of my favorite books in the world, Stumbling

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on Happiness, is talking to people

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who have already gone through a similar experience.

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So get out there and

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connect with people who have gone through the type of change

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you're facing. Number

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six, take small steps

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and focus on progress.

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Change can be overwhelming, there's no doubt about

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it. You don't need to add more stress to

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your life by setting a giant goal for yourself.

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It's okay to slow down, take small

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steps, and focus on progress

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rather than a goal post far off in the distance.

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If all you can do today is get up and take a deep

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breath, so be it. Tomorrow,

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perhaps, you'll be able to get up, take a deep

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breath,

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and make your bed.

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And the day after that, you may be able to find the

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strength to take a walk outside.

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That's progress and every step

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forward, no matter how tiny it seems,

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deserves a pat on the back. This is how

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I came to accept the cancer diagnosis that

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changed my life at the age of 19. So

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ask yourself

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what small step you can take today.

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Add a bit to it tomorrow, the next day, and

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the day after the next. Then celebrate

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your progress along the way. Soon

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you'll feel more at peace with the change you're

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going through. And number seven,

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anticipate and accept setbacks.

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Anytime you're dealing with change, you're going to encounter

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setbacks and failures. You

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might make a mistake, take a step backward

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instead of forward,

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or come across an obstacle so big, you don't even

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know where to begin to tackle it.

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Setbacks are disappointing and irritating,

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I get it. But

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saying, this sucks, isn't

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going to help. If

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we can accept the fact that we're going to encounter

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setbacks and proactively plan

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on how we can address them, we'll

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be ready to face them when the time

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comes.

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This in turn will help us feel more

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in control.

6:00

role and happier as a

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result. You

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just listened to part two of the post titled, Seven

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Steps to Embracing Change Without Fear

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or Frustration, by Sabrina of

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Thank you again to Sabrina

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I can definitely relate to the part about venting

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how it feels really good in the moment But

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has that

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weird unintended consequence of

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now seeming much more important than

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it really is I

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know of experience that firsthand It's

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like a shortcut to turn something trivial

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into a big ordeal and a negative

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one at that.

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We've had a few posts covering complaining

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and how to stop. Over the years

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for more on that you can check out a recent

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one on episode 2663

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from Joshua Becker. That's a good one

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And some other great tips in here Anticipating

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and accepting setbacks or even

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off days

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is something we've also talked about somewhat recently

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And this related back to number five, which

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was setting realistic Expectations

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we can't be happy all the time

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bad mood days are bound to happen happen,

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and most of the time we're just average

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anyway.

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So keeping those expectations in check can

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eliminate unnecessary suffering

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when inevitably we fail to meet those

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incredibly high standards.

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Again, a bunch of good tips, but

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hopefully there was an actionable takeaway

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for you in there.

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And with that, have a great day, thank you for being

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here, and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal

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life

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awaits.