0:00

Okay and at what age did

0:02

you try to i guess hug

0:04

over your brother and I was

0:06

twelve and he was making. More

0:18

compact other people's lives. I'm Joe Santa Gotta

0:20

I'm Greg Die Back! For anyone out there

0:22

that the like to be a guest on

0:24

our show, don't hesitate to reach out to

0:27

us or emails O P L Podcast Edgy

0:29

mail.com Just send us your story and will

0:31

get back to you Today we're speaking to

0:33

a woman who has incest fantasies. She wrote

0:35

in her email. I know it sounds absolutely

0:37

wild and I've been having these thoughts since

0:40

before I remember. I also try to act

0:42

on it with my brother once so we're

0:44

going. Talk about where she thinks this all

0:46

came from and how she is actively. Working

0:48

through it and therapy and in her life. so

0:50

we've got the guess on the line. Thank you

0:52

so much for being on today. Thanks.

0:55

For having rigours? Yeah, of

0:57

course. So. I

1:00

know he said that you've had these fantasies

1:02

and thoughts before you can remember, but. Is

1:04

there a time that you can pinpoint

1:06

where you started to realize that you

1:08

are having these thoughts and that they

1:10

sort of may be raised? Some flags

1:12

in your mind. Ah

1:16

yeah. I.

1:18

Think so. Very. So.

1:23

When. I was. I think that

1:26

probably round time when I was

1:28

very to a discover like learn

1:30

I guess is were was like

1:32

okay. I. Think that I'm

1:34

I might be. A. Little fucked up.

1:38

About. Especially

1:40

cause like. Like. Tumbler Back

1:42

in the day when it was like

1:45

pouring faith and I was like, really.

1:47

And the tumbler? There was a lot

1:49

of. Weight. Info

1:52

stories and there was some

1:54

access porn at work like

1:57

make. People. Showing

1:59

their ideas her like proves that their

2:01

siblings and then you know going and

2:03

doing for like that and when I

2:06

when I stumbled upon by think that's

2:08

where I really was like oh. Yeah.

2:12

I think I my pillow traumatize. We

2:15

were settling in and real incest point.

2:17

like obviously there's a category else you

2:19

know, brother, sister and all that like

2:22

you are kind of stumbling on like

2:24

people proving that they were siblings. Yeah,

2:27

so like Tumbler was really

2:29

on monitored at that time

2:31

period so I'm late. It

2:34

was like twins are like.

2:36

People. Who were like legitimately showing

2:38

their ideas my paper or certificate

2:41

pepper stop to prove that they

2:43

were like. Genuine. Family

2:45

or like mother daughter's they

2:47

do woes or. Whatever.

2:50

It was arm. And

2:53

yeah, what about that was attractive

2:55

to you? Aren't

2:58

even. ah, Ah,

3:04

That's an interesting question. sorry.

3:07

On I don't know I I

3:09

think that. It.

3:18

Sorry. Know it's

3:20

a certain and I am. I

3:22

think it just. Tastes.

3:24

Like my interest I don't know like

3:26

isi and I was like oh I've

3:28

never seen anything like this and I

3:31

did and I didn't realize that that

3:33

was like a thing on and then

3:35

it just kind of progress from bear

3:37

and I like patents or rather than

3:39

was like reading stories and. There's

3:42

a can. Really like massive communities

3:44

Who thinks it's okay? What's It's

3:47

totally not. and I understand that

3:49

now. But. Did

3:51

you know that at the time like when you first

3:53

found like what this is you realize like oh this

3:55

is. Not. Typically.

3:58

When people are attracted to but I clearly him.

4:01

You know, so I have a

4:04

lot of guilt over it and

4:06

I still do to. And I

4:08

felt that Ben as well. I'm

4:11

I. I. I always

4:13

understood that it was not normal

4:15

and that was not late a

4:17

common thing that people. Like.

4:20

Fantasize about i guess I'm and

4:22

then obviously like you hear all

4:24

the people being like. People.

4:27

In the south? What the fuck? Their brothers or

4:29

whatever. But. Ah

4:34

yeah, I don't know I'd I knew it wasn't

4:36

right. people make fun of us at other times

4:38

so. So. You stumbled across this

4:41

and then a peak your interest

4:43

and totally understandable that it's. Hard

4:45

for you to even say why by

4:47

the sort of just you know whether

4:49

it's whatever the taboo facto, just the

4:51

fact that was one of the first

4:53

kind of things in porn and sexuality

4:55

that he stumbled on our but you

4:57

can go deeper into this community. So

4:59

you just mentioned Reddit and things like

5:01

that. but there's. Does. Their

5:04

community of people advocating like this

5:06

is okay. This is normal. Like

5:08

siblings should have sex with each

5:10

other. She's

5:13

now basically at those really massive

5:15

community on read and that still

5:17

like active to this day where

5:19

people are just like it's mostly

5:22

just people expect a like explaining

5:24

their experiences with the on. On

5:27

a lot of the is rooted in

5:29

trauma like if he read into it

5:32

from like a outside protect proof specter

5:34

of it's like bees fathers are these

5:36

brothers or whatever it is putting these

5:38

ideas in to their head and my.

5:42

Arm. Making them feel like

5:44

it's okay. I'm. I

5:46

mean that's definitely were mild stuff.

5:48

all started is like. I

5:51

have a lot of drama

5:53

with my dad so on. Gap.

5:56

I don't know it. I am. It's.

6:00

The very active: Today. But

6:02

a d you but is very active. Like.

6:05

The community on Reddit and even

6:07

on Tumblers still where people are

6:09

just like a a like encouraging

6:11

news and being like it's the

6:14

most intimate thing however experience and

6:16

lake stuff like that again. he

6:18

also send your email that you

6:20

did try to act upon this

6:22

with your brother. Can we talk

6:24

about that? Yeah.

6:27

It's a very weird. Big.

6:30

The talk about but yeah we can. Yeah.

6:35

Is your brother old or younger than you? And

6:38

we all have a pretty big age

6:40

gap. So my brother is twenty seven

6:42

I am. or he's. Sorry.

6:44

He's twenty nine. Now on,

6:46

I am twenty one and

6:48

my little sister is fifteen.

6:51

Okay, and at what age did

6:54

you try to. I guess ago

6:56

be your brother. I

6:58

was twelve and he was nineteen. And

7:01

so can you just walk through of we

7:03

know what happened. And. What his

7:06

reaction were. Yeah

7:08

I mean I was really scared

7:10

so as he was drunk. And

7:14

I basically as the time period

7:16

he had late or basement to

7:18

like his entire south. And

7:21

I basically just went down there. And

7:24

he was laying down. I just cannot Problems who

7:26

is bad? And

7:29

I don't fully. Know.

7:33

Is. He Lake. Understood

7:36

that that's what I was

7:38

trying to do by arm.

7:40

After a while of just like laying there with

7:43

him and like cuddling I guess I got I

7:45

got to Hs and was like I read i

7:47

don't know if I could do us and then

7:49

we ended up just like cuddling and bought a

7:51

your sleep together. So you're

7:54

pretty young when you discovered all this. if

7:56

you are twelve by the time you. I

7:59

guess even brought your son to sort of attempt

8:01

that with your own brother. they won't Wow old

8:03

were you when you kind discovered this community and

8:05

this type of porn. Yeah

8:08

so I was a when

8:10

i got my first smartphone

8:12

so i rob ugly like

8:14

down the tumbler and stuff

8:17

when i was like ooh

8:19

like nine ten. On.

8:22

And that's when I like stumbled upon

8:24

it. So few years of that So

8:26

for you to. Make. That

8:29

move with your own brother. And like you

8:31

said, you got anxious, nervous. but. The

8:34

feelings must have been extremely strong at that

8:36

point for a twelve year old were you

8:38

were sort of willing to step out from

8:40

the online world of this community and. Gonna.

8:43

Give it a try yourself. Each

8:46

fun. Well yeah so like like I said

8:48

the on my i have a lot of

8:50

from of my father. On

8:52

And that's really where all of the started.

8:54

Mathias Alberta to yeah sorry As you can

8:56

say if you if you're willing to kind

8:58

of share, that if he, if you feel

9:00

like you're able to pinpoint. You. Know where

9:02

this comes from? We'd love to hear that. Death

9:06

course I'm so like. I.

9:11

Was I guess. Sexually

9:13

assaulted by my father from

9:16

like the time I was.

9:19

I mean, that's before I can remember, but

9:22

like my therapist and I have tried to

9:24

pinpoint it to be like three or four

9:26

arm until I was eleven. And I think

9:28

that that's why Lake because he or my

9:30

mom kicked him out the house when I

9:33

was eleven. So I think that. That's.

9:36

Why I try to this to started with my

9:38

brother because I was like I guess is kind

9:40

of missing that connection and that's why I started

9:42

at I tried to start it so. Quickly

9:44

after. But.

9:48

I guys is always. I always grew

9:50

up. With. At an.

9:54

Intimate situation with my

9:56

dad. While

9:59

okay, Andy It did you

10:01

say you think this had a direct

10:03

quote correlation to your attraction to this

10:06

very taboo thing. Yeah

10:08

I'm so like most of the time and you

10:10

are like a sexual assault. Survivor.

10:13

A either goes either way. so

10:15

you're either a hyper sexual and

10:17

new like love sex It it's

10:19

like all you like you have

10:21

like as a sex addicts and

10:24

or you are completely opposite that.

10:27

I'm at least for a point of

10:29

time like you just I'd like access

10:31

and don't my get on. So and

10:33

I swung to the hyper sexuality of

10:35

it on because I guess it was

10:37

just like a way of coping. Ah,

10:41

Yes, I don't have her making sense of. Know

10:45

it's fun. Ah yes Know you? You

10:47

absolutely our foot Adidas Kind of like

10:49

okay after you have like that now

10:51

you like cells, sleep with your brother

10:53

in the bed. I'm. But

10:56

was the next few days like were you

10:58

thinking about that? Was there like another attempt?

11:00

Are. You. Know how to that sort

11:02

of change your path. With all this. On

11:06

slack. never tried again.

11:10

I did like. Share.

11:12

A bed with my brother quite often

11:15

after that I'm but we never like

11:17

did. Anything on.

11:20

And. I

11:23

mean, I know that like this is,

11:26

I feel so awkward talking about that

11:28

bilic I'd I'd definitely like masturbated to

11:30

the idea like out quite often. Ah,

11:34

And yeah as a bit silly I

11:37

like was like. Picky.

11:39

About my sexuality and like the

11:41

thought flights shifted from hand to

11:43

like. My little

11:45

sister. And

11:48

lay my mom and lake it's

11:50

I never acted on anything ever

11:52

again as I think that I

11:54

just felt like the gilts took

11:57

over. And I didn't want

11:59

to. Do.

12:02

To them what my dad did to me. If

12:04

I make sense for for you had

12:07

this sort of sexual fantasies about. All.

12:10

Of your family members. Basically.

12:13

Yeah and I dislike

12:15

woods watch porn and

12:17

imagine it being us.

12:21

Do. Any of your family members know that

12:23

you're going through this. No,

12:25

absolutely not and I would never

12:28

tell them. But so I can

12:30

I can imagine. And

12:32

Is is still active Like is is still something that

12:34

you can deal with on a date. Is it. On.

12:40

Yeah. So. Like

12:42

I obviously a try really hard.

12:44

Not. To do. Anything like

12:46

that but I have like

12:49

been. Watching. Porn

12:51

or even having sex with my

12:53

boyfriend which is really weird and

12:55

like notice myself like starting to

12:57

imagine it being a family member

12:59

and then being like oh fuck

13:01

that's weird I need a soft

13:04

and my correcting my thoughts which

13:06

is something that I'm working on

13:08

with in my there is there

13:10

be Continuously and does your boyfriend

13:12

know about this. Absolutely

13:14

not. Oh okay so you? you'd

13:17

no one else knows about this

13:19

tissue and your narrowest and us.

13:21

Yeah, yeah, my therapist and I haven't

13:23

talked about it like. Too.

13:25

Much Honestly, you guys are going to know

13:28

about it more than anybody else in my

13:30

life. Joe always makes fun

13:32

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13:37

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but I. I don't always

13:42

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13:44

take a lot for me to feel

13:46

that way or he doesn't believe me

13:49

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13:51

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18:50

So. He said the word

18:52

guilt a few times, but you know,

18:54

after. The. Attempt with your

18:56

brother. Ah, I'm. You know, fantasies

18:58

about kind of all your family members. Was.

19:01

They're sort of a boiling point of guilt

19:03

or shame or different things you feeling that

19:05

made you think I should try to get

19:08

help for this because I don't want to

19:10

have these fantasies for life. Yeah,

19:13

I'm so when I

19:15

was. I

19:18

would say it was probably late of

19:20

lake i was like aids he likes

19:23

him is when I really was like

19:25

okay this is not normal and this

19:27

is not healthy for me and that's

19:29

when I was like really starting to

19:32

think about it because my for my

19:34

family wasn't like very late mental health

19:36

positive like they still don't understand why

19:38

i'm in therapy arm. So

19:41

I'd guess I just never liked

19:43

thought about it in like and

19:46

late. Buses. Trauma.

19:48

Base way until I went to college

19:51

and I was around people who were

19:53

more mentally pop out of the the

19:55

and then I was like okay maybe

19:57

this is the brooded in trauma and

19:59

maybe this is. How be. And

20:01

it's like continuous thing, continuing the

20:03

trauma like it's. And it

20:05

causes the like a lotta flashbacks for

20:07

me. Sorry. With her father

20:09

to say. Yes, Yes!

20:12

Does your family know about what happened with

20:14

you and your father in the past or

20:17

that also secret? On.

20:19

So. I

20:23

have a lot of locked

20:25

out the memories from that

20:28

time period. I

20:30

don't remember a lot. But.

20:34

I've been talking about it a

20:36

lot with my therapist and mostly

20:38

it's just. We.

20:41

Think that my my mom

20:44

knew the entire time and

20:46

didn't really stop it. Arm

20:48

weights again would play and to

20:50

like me thinking it was more

20:53

more and meeting that like this.

20:56

Was. That late. Something. The

20:58

all families do. It is like

21:00

an intimate connection. The ink on.

21:04

Yeah, my brother knows as well, but

21:07

my sister doesn't know. And

21:09

do have a relationship with your father in our

21:11

he's nine, your life. On

21:13

I have not seen him since I

21:15

was swells a Houston. I. Hope

21:17

I never see him again. S

21:20

do you think part of healing

21:22

would ever be confronting your mom

21:24

about? that? Are having your family

21:26

know. You know truly about this

21:28

past trauma and how it's affected you. And.

21:33

So when I was lake.

21:35

Twenty. I basically like broke

21:37

down crying on my older brother

21:39

and like spilled everything the ham

21:41

and he had no idea I'm

21:44

and then we like confronted my

21:46

mom. Together. And

21:48

she basically told me I was lying

21:50

and she told me that I am

21:52

that that never happened. And

21:54

that. See.

21:58

Ah, Would have stopped if it

22:01

bed and am Now as an

22:03

adult I realized that that's not

22:05

true, but he added so that

22:07

also causes a lot of. Issues

22:10

in Belgrade. And

22:12

he said you like in therapy right

22:14

now but you also had mention that.

22:17

We. Will Pop probably know more about this than

22:19

your therapist. Is there a reason why you

22:21

guys. Don't. Open up too much about

22:24

as your therapist. And.

22:27

I. Think said. It's just really hard to talk

22:29

about as rest of us when it's someone

22:31

that you know and you see everyday like

22:33

you guys are never going to see me

22:35

again Says is easier to liked I guess.

22:37

Trauma dump. But.

22:41

My therapist. We.

22:43

Talked about it looks he knows

22:45

but were more focusing on like

22:47

the background of at right now

22:50

and then. we'll probably like switch

22:52

over as a journal about it

22:54

which is really offered. Oh probably

22:56

switch over to at I get

22:58

more and a few months. Okay,

23:01

yeah, I mean it's.

23:04

It's such a weighted seems like and

23:06

so much. To.

23:09

Be a we. We have a lot

23:11

of people on the show who has

23:13

certain fantasies or tanks are things that

23:15

could be extremely taboo or might offend

23:17

others and a lot of people we

23:19

speak with. They. Kind of

23:21

lean into it. They advocate their

23:24

advocates of it, and they're not

23:26

necessarily looking to stop their fantasies

23:28

or stop their kings. But as.

23:31

You with something that. You.

23:34

At. This point of feel like you don't

23:36

want to feel like urges you don't

23:38

want to have and you're constantly fighting

23:40

them off because they're just happening to

23:42

you. I'm south feel like all different

23:44

dynamic and scenario that that you're working

23:46

through and it's that's a lot but

23:48

it is cool to hear that you

23:50

are soaring to open up and talk

23:52

about and get to the root of

23:54

it as well. So you know deathly

23:56

commend you for that because it's I'm

23:58

sure not easy does. Speak about Anyone.

24:02

Yeah I mean it's is so I would say

24:04

it's is mostly embarrassing like I just feel like

24:06

I'm bless him right now was and kicking my

24:09

feet. Now I'm. Sorry,

24:12

I'm. Yeah,

24:14

I don't know I it's disappeared. So.

24:17

What is the ultimate goal for you is

24:19

it's a kind of work through to the

24:21

point that you just never have these thoughts

24:23

again. Hopefully yes

24:25

and I don't know said at

24:27

all ever fully reach that point

24:30

on sadly. but hopefully we I

24:32

can. I'm trying to work on

24:34

it now while I'm young. I'm

24:36

so that whenever I'm like. In.

24:39

My thirties or forties. I'm not

24:41

like still fantasizing about my little

24:43

sister. That's a makes me feel

24:45

sick to my stomach and one

24:47

of those I'm interested like. Why

24:50

did you reach out to us like why did

24:52

you want to tell us? has this is something

24:54

that you know Odyssey and and I mean we

24:56

appreciate. It was like I said to Isabella immediately

24:58

busy being super on a some. Are

25:00

like you know what was the initial thought behind? you know

25:02

I want to reach out and and a talk about this.

25:06

On I wanted to like.

25:09

On a side is kind of idyllic. Bring awareness

25:11

to it because like I always

25:13

felt very. Oh oh

25:15

mon and the way I

25:17

thought especially cause read it

25:20

and make tumbler and everything

25:22

really encourages that I'm so

25:24

it makes me feel like.

25:27

Maybe. I am. I

25:31

don't know, like wrong, I'm and I

25:33

just wanted to lake if somebody else

25:35

is having these thoughts be like hey

25:37

like it's nam war and it's probably

25:40

rooted in trauma and you can probably

25:42

fix it if you like are not

25:44

fix it by help it. Cope.

25:46

With that if you like. Get.

25:48

Help and new I'm

25:51

wants. To make.

25:53

It better and I don't want

25:55

anyone to feel. Like

25:57

be. Self hatred die so.

26:00

whenever. I was younger. Is. Episode

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the podcast. Here. That that's

27:45

really well said because you know you see

27:47

it a title like this episode or you

27:49

see those words together in says fantasy and

27:51

you can't help but it's sort of judge

27:54

before hearing the conversation and thinks like who

27:56

is this person This is six like that's

27:58

disgusting. Why would they come. That to

28:00

listen to someone who's you know saying

28:02

like this is fine this is. You

28:04

know they're still fantasy of mine. It's

28:06

a king. Ah but this is something

28:08

that. Isn't your fault and that

28:11

you're actively trying to cope with and you

28:13

know, see, have you're going through this I'm

28:15

feeling that then that immediately means that you're

28:17

not the only one in this world going

28:20

through that and it's It's a lot to

28:22

bear in a lot to shoulder. so we

28:24

do thank you for that because it's to

28:27

be able to bring awareness to the to

28:29

these things that. I

28:31

don't. Get platforms. Really?

28:33

Ever her Hobbs is it's it is early

28:36

school to know that it will probably reach

28:38

one other person who's going through this who

28:40

might feel so alone and think that they're

28:43

the only ones in the world going through

28:45

this. and they're not. Yeah,

28:47

I mean whoa, You're thinking me by

28:50

for like a really stupid good gear.

28:52

You're giving me the opportunity to discuss

28:54

this on a platform that will reach.

28:58

Around and that a lot of people which

29:00

is. Crazy, but I'm

29:02

sure that it takes a lot of courage

29:04

said. It's a say all the things that

29:06

you just said to us. Ah, Blue A

29:08

really really does and that doesn't go unnoticed.

29:12

Things. They see it. So.

29:15

Before. We wrap up or their

29:17

arm like on that note of

29:19

maybe someone hearing this where they

29:21

have something similar or anything anything

29:23

rooted in trauma that has you

29:25

know created a reality for them

29:27

Now that they are trying to

29:29

you know cope with arm as

29:31

having urges are things that they

29:33

don't want to be having that

29:36

they know are wrong essentially. What

29:39

are like some stuff that have been most

29:41

helpful for you were that you think will

29:44

be most helpful in this kind of recovery

29:46

journey that you're on. You mentioned journaling therapy

29:48

on but anything you know specific that we

29:50

didn't discuss that could help someone. To.

29:54

Yeah, so on I do

29:56

stuck right journaling, mostly what's

29:58

his arm. Like a

30:01

the thought you have b

30:03

y u have that guy

30:05

and then see the way

30:07

that that makes you feel

30:09

and then you like journal

30:11

about. Like. Why

30:13

you felt that way? Why

30:15

you. Have

30:18

the thoughts talk about your arm

30:20

like trauma and just like really

30:22

like I guess then I'm and

30:25

it really helps. Like I know

30:27

it's incredibly exists and like it

30:29

will make you late. Terrified.

30:31

But it really helps to like

30:33

V that to your therapist and

30:35

like get it out because if

30:37

you're still like bottling it all

30:40

up inside, it's not. It's.

30:42

Not going to leave if

30:45

that makes sense. Doesn't.

30:49

Know. Is gonna say I'm in

30:51

a week again. We appreciate someone

30:53

being so honest. I imagine this

30:55

is. Definitely. Not

30:58

something that I would be super comfortable

31:00

telling anybody. And

31:02

it's them As I understand your you know your

31:05

point of being like I delegates. Only one that

31:07

I know who involved in a therapists. I see

31:09

them. but I'll never talk to you guys again.

31:11

I'm a yeah we we appreciate you coming on,

31:14

taken the time and and not talking to us.

31:16

Thank you so much. Now

31:18

thank you for giving me the opportunity

31:20

to talk about it yes course and

31:22

wishing you the best of luck. Know

31:25

in this tourney and I'm you have

31:27

these conversations health and again we appreciate

31:29

it. If of course thank

31:31

you so much as I thank you have good

31:33

on. You. To fight. As

31:47

a rough one and I dislike.

31:51

For. As well as a fucking piece

31:53

of shit guitar the way. and it's

31:55

kind of crazy to not crazy, but

31:57

like is just another example of. Those.

32:00

Young ages, especially when it comes

32:02

to sexual abuse. Like. What

32:05

that can do to a person

32:07

like moving forward is. The.

32:09

Enough. The. Of whatever

32:11

it like it I mean anything couldn't Fucking

32:14

low Oh my god As I can imagine

32:16

three will have no one is he doesn't

32:18

like fragility of. Just.

32:20

The Ab A person, all that aids

32:22

the and As As and then it's

32:24

obvious that like something like this would

32:26

stem from something like that. Chino and

32:28

all these of psychology language around. The.

32:31

Reasons why is another thing. but

32:33

like. It's. It's

32:36

fucked manner and now like see

32:38

you know it's obviously this is

32:40

very taboo saying end it's very

32:43

strange of course to. Be.

32:45

Thinking about your fucking sister who is

32:47

a minor. And like. Not.

32:50

Good. You know what he means

32:52

and imagine having those uncontrollable thought

32:54

I'd I'd is that are just.

32:56

Like peppering. Your mind and you're trying

32:59

to push them out. I.

33:01

Don't even wanna think about. I

33:04

mean yeah, it's it's it's crazy.

33:06

I mean, I'm happy that there

33:08

is no like acting upon any

33:11

of this. Obviously, I'm. But.

33:13

It's it's five in the whole thing as kind

33:15

of like forty know and I'll take that this

33:17

is. there's anything. You know, Of

33:21

nothing he a shot at this person's character

33:23

at all or mrs like an unfortunate situation

33:25

like obviously the my through a very dramatic

33:27

upbringing and there are ramifications for that because

33:29

you'd as a fucking piece of shit I'm.

33:32

And now you're just gonna have to do with

33:34

this thing and our to things that I feel

33:36

bad about is that like there's no one to

33:38

talk to about this you know like you can't

33:40

have a fuck can you explain this to the

33:42

average person of like you know like we've created

33:44

the setting here to have like a serious conversation

33:46

but how does it come up and I don't

33:48

have to tell what are your friends that like

33:51

without them being like what like you know like.

33:54

There is some nuances in this in there that

33:56

you have to kind of go through to have

33:58

that conversation for real like this. Possible to

34:00

do even walking into therapy like

34:02

you know and is saying that

34:04

were big advocate of their therapy

34:06

and I don't think either of

34:08

us have discussed something to that

34:10

degree in are wrong but like

34:13

what a same thing, safe environment,

34:15

whatever but that's still a stranger

34:17

like to sit down and say

34:19

those words to someone repeatedly session

34:21

after session like she's. It's

34:23

awesome that even got to that point and

34:25

that is continuing. Man it seems like it's

34:27

kind of a slow build. They're really trying

34:29

to talk about the route trauma and you

34:31

know this is probably a long journey for

34:33

her. but man just woke coming on our

34:35

show and just saying that and the works

34:38

is doing in therapy that such a like

34:40

hill to get over to even get to

34:42

that point. So that is. Awesome!

34:45

To hear for her like that is actively

34:47

working on it. Ah. But.

34:49

Wow! and just from a high level?

34:51

it's just one of those reminders on

34:53

the show. I think it's important to

34:56

hear. Like. To lead with

34:58

something like incest, fantasy and like our sang

35:00

to her the kind of immediate judgment that

35:02

comes with that. But then to be reminded

35:04

of. The have sex

35:06

that. Trauma or and

35:08

up around can have on someone uncontrollably for

35:11

them to now have to deal with this

35:13

in their life like that is is always

35:15

important to remember and I think the other

35:17

thing is it's made me think again like.

35:20

So. Many things that are hard for

35:22

people like the boy say like I wish

35:24

they would are just told me this are

35:27

on their friend or this and us. So

35:29

much easier said than done. Like you know

35:31

not know what someone is going through in

35:33

silence that they're keeping inside and it's scary

35:36

to think about but he would Just from

35:38

the outside looking in you just never know

35:40

Sometimes never know that someone could be dealing

35:42

with something. New. No to that level gym.

35:45

And I mean, I think that trauma. Like I

35:47

said, it's it's it's. It's. Wilds the

35:49

effects that that has on people and not

35:51

even just children but she was a child

35:53

when I was happening. but like on pronto

35:55

through the many people go to way toward

35:58

the combative Ptsd the care for can sleep

36:00

the night terrors their fucking whatever you think

36:02

they want that like Odyssey not like they

36:04

it just completely throws off how they used

36:06

to be because they went through something traumatic

36:09

and this is the same thing I'm sure

36:11

she's I brought on of fucking be attracted

36:13

to my brother or like whatever the fuck

36:15

but like. I. Had

36:18

a dusting is wrong and I want to

36:20

deal with said i want to Six said

36:22

i don't want to like, You know, act

36:24

upon it or like even think about sad

36:26

or whatever. Like that said, prison. theoretically. I

36:28

mean like that, harm, and or prison And

36:30

it's it's. it's yeah, it's just not good.

36:32

It's it's not great, but I mean I.

36:34

We wish her the best and you know

36:36

I'm I'm glad that she. Picked.

36:39

Us to talk to and to come on

36:41

and kind of like you know, whatever because

36:43

I guess we're just trying offer different perspective

36:45

on this show so that people can kind

36:47

of understand because ago saying if you just

36:49

talk to the average person and you try

36:51

to have this conversation. Emilia.

36:53

Most of the tires going to be

36:56

written off as like this person's fuckin

36:58

watched him and like whatever but not

37:00

understanding like where this could potentially come

37:02

from and like. In. Are

37:04

not something that I was. It's not the

37:07

same as huge as liking girls at None.

37:09

The name is built through something different than

37:11

that, like it's a more nuanced conversation and

37:13

that's difficult and it's hard not to lead

37:15

with judgment and and whole everyday life or

37:17

of you know selling memoir you're not expecting

37:19

like that. Yeah, you'd need to have the

37:21

conversation to eventually get to the point where

37:24

now years saying shit that were saying right

37:26

now i'm a for them are gonna lie

37:28

you see is as fancy. Go okay stereo

37:30

buckle up to what are we talking about

37:32

Said ice the you know but. A

37:35

sauna? Know it's it's it's a difficult

37:37

and I are. You know we can

37:39

only wish are the best. I hope

37:41

that she's making strides overtime and and

37:43

hopefully this helps. Maybe she. Found

37:46

words or in ability that you didn't have

37:48

before to even talk more openly about era

37:50

just by getting it out. That would be

37:52

cool. Maybe she shows the sir therapist one

37:54

day who knows of the it helps in

37:56

some way via. Via

37:59

for anyone. There the like the biggest

38:01

on our show hit us up our emails

38:03

opium podcast that uma.com to send us an

38:05

email will get back to you. follow us

38:07

on Instagram and tic toc at all podcast

38:10

you can sports show at patriarch.com/lpl show and

38:12

that is all. See other next time.