0:00

Scalpel. Scalpel. Tweezers.

0:03

Tweezers. Ham sandwich. Ham what?

0:06

Sandwich. I was going to eat lunch when I got my oil

0:08

changed earlier, but Take 5 is so fast I didn't have time.

0:11

But sir, you can't eat during

0:13

surgery. Eh, one bite won't hurt.

0:17

Mmm. Whoops. Uh, napkin.

0:20

Napkin! At Take

0:23

5, your oil change is faster than you

0:25

think. Take 5, the stay in your

0:28

car 10 minute oil change. Welcome

0:39

to another episode of Out of the Pods.

0:41

I'm Deep T. And I'm Natalie.

0:43

And guys, we're in person! We are, oh yes! I

0:46

was going to say we are finally in person. We

0:48

have finally made this happen. Can

0:50

you believe it? Like, Deep T and I live in the same

0:52

apartment building. Literally, why

0:54

haven't we done this? We recorded

0:56

virtually for so long. But

0:59

okay, the big thing was we

1:02

just couldn't find the right team to help

1:05

us set up. And honestly, we didn't know

1:07

how to set up. We were like, we

1:09

still don't have the right team here. It's

1:11

just us two. But we could have made

1:13

it happen a lot longer. Yeah, yeah. But

1:15

here we are. This is so exciting. It's

1:17

going to be Valentine's Day when this episode

1:19

comes out. So I wore my little I

1:21

love you. I

1:24

refuse. I'm done. Yeah. I

1:27

actually was going to wear black for a funeral

1:29

today. I should have worn black because

1:32

my heart is back to being black

1:34

and dark. Stop

1:37

it. It's been

1:39

kind of like a rough couple of days. I feel like,

1:42

I don't know, it's really hard to record this

1:44

episode. We had a lot of

1:47

fun topics planned, but then some shit hit

1:49

the fan. Just like life,

1:51

you know, life happened. And

1:53

I was like, I need to talk about this

1:56

because I can't go through weeks and weeks of

1:58

Love is Wine season six. recaps,

2:00

which comes out today, even though we're

2:03

recording this a few days before

2:05

today. Yeah. Which is

2:07

exciting and new season's coming. Yeah, new

2:09

season and I was like, I just need

2:11

to like vent and like talk about what

2:13

has happened. This is about to be a

2:15

therapy session. Yeah, this is like a therapy

2:17

session for Natalie. But

2:20

I don't even know where to start. Should I just say

2:22

it? I think you should just say it. Okay,

2:25

well, I was in New York City last weekend

2:27

and it was really fun. Like I was visiting

2:30

New York boy. Let's just talk

2:32

about him using his real name. I was visiting. Whoa.

2:38

And yeah, when I arrived

2:41

on Friday, I found a condom

2:43

wrapper on his TV stand and

2:46

I asked him about it. I was like, there's

2:49

a condom wrapper here. And he's like, oh, when I

2:51

was cleaning before your arrival, I found

2:54

a condom wrapper in between

2:56

my couch cushions and you know, I just didn't want

2:58

to walk all the way to garbage to throw it

3:00

out. So I just left it there. He goes, you

3:02

know me, like I leave little piles of like things

3:04

I find. I was like, no, you

3:06

don't. First of all, red flag number one broke.

3:08

You throw your shit away. Well, I was like, no, you

3:10

don't. Like in my head, I was like, I know I do

3:12

that. But I was like, okay, that makes sense.

3:15

Like you're lazy. Because you're not thinking about it in the moment.

3:18

Yeah. The thing that was kind of weird was like

3:20

the condom wrapper inside of it. It was still wet.

3:23

Like by

3:25

that, it's like, you know, that you put your

3:27

investigative hat on immediately. You know that lube that

3:29

like, yeah. Yeah. So

3:31

it was still like moist inside. And I asked

3:33

him, I was like, hey, like, do you like

3:35

seriously? I was like, if you if this was

3:38

from someone else, like, just let me know now.

3:40

Like I was trying to be really understanding. He goes,

3:42

no, he's like, you're being crazy. He goes, I'm not seeing

3:44

anyone else. I'm not talking to anyone else. And

3:48

he's like, I swear in my mom's life that this

3:50

is an old condom. And

3:53

I was like, OK, that's it. Like, whatever. I actually

3:55

jokingly asked. I was like, let me see your phone.

3:57

And and he was like, OK. And then as he's.

4:00

I think it's me he goes, no, like I don't want

4:02

to be that like couple and he

4:04

didn't very like nonchalant like

4:06

literally and I

4:08

don't know. I think I trusted him so much. I was like,

4:10

you're right. Like I don't want to be that

4:13

sort of people. Yeah. Like we

4:15

don't want like nitpicky like I'm gonna like

4:18

see every single like act you do. There

4:20

should be trust in a relationship. Totally. And

4:23

you're like, yeah, I trust you. So I

4:25

was like, whatever. He was so nonchalant and

4:27

like the reasoning sounded very sound like I

4:29

was like, yeah, like why would

4:31

he lie about this? I feel

4:34

like he's a really honest and trustworthy

4:36

person. Like I know I've been

4:38

cheated on in the past, but you know, like I really do trust

4:40

him. So I just let it go. Yeah.

4:43

So we have really like we have tons of fun all weekend.

4:46

Yeah, you had a great weekend together. Yeah. I

4:48

remember like texting you being like I'm having so much fun. And

4:52

we always have like little, you know, like

4:54

tips, but it's not normal couple things. Yeah.

4:57

And then I didn't think about the condom

4:59

at all until two days

5:02

later, I'm still in New York City and I lost, I

5:05

lost my earrings and I was

5:07

like, maybe I took them off when we were like watching

5:09

a movie on the couch and they like split into the

5:11

couch cushions. So I'm going through the couch cushions and I'm

5:13

finding a bunch of things. Like I find his glasses

5:15

that he had, he had like lost

5:18

weeks or months prior. I

5:20

found like old fries that he says is like

5:22

from a friend who slept over and like he,

5:24

you know, left my couch. And so

5:27

we're like, you know, he's like cleaning it up. He's

5:29

like, oh, like all this stuff. And

5:31

then on the plane ride home, the next day on a Monday,

5:33

I like start thinking about

5:36

it and I was like, how can we found so

5:38

much shit in his couch cushion? And

5:40

he was cleaning. How come he didn't like find

5:42

all these other things? Like his couch isn't that

5:44

big. Like it's not like L

5:46

shaped couch or anything like that. Like just

5:48

like a whatever three C. Yeah. Yeah. And

5:51

I was like, it just doesn't make sense because we found

5:54

things in each like cushion,

5:57

you know, your intuitive senses

5:59

Starting to. Involved? Yeah, So

6:01

hard. Yeah, so am.

6:04

I. Tax am. Not. On

6:06

Monday when I was. Coming. Back from

6:08

New York on but I tested the next

6:11

day I could you economy process yeah another

6:13

on Monday and like trying to figure to

6:15

lick am I crazy you a yeah like

6:17

a lot like and I don't paranoid over

6:19

maybe you like just losses or mode and

6:21

just like breach stay in and is the

6:24

library that it has Shanley that it's not

6:26

like I'm but I was like it was

6:28

bother me so I just have to ask

6:30

like talk about intuition by the way place

6:32

very ugly in our intuition is so strong

6:34

we try to suppress it So ah the

6:36

and and like you guys. If you're listening

6:39

to our podcast these like if there

6:41

is any intuitive sense. That something of

6:43

off in your relationships sucking. Listen to

6:45

it. Listen to that aspiration So I was

6:47

like you know what I just have to ask

6:49

mom about the condom wrapper to that was like

6:52

i just wanna like get the details Three I

6:54

am so on we as honest review as the

6:56

tax because it was like the craziest I don't

6:58

know I was like am I. Am

7:01

I crazy? Yeah,

7:03

it's. Obvious that hugs.

7:06

And. I go can you chat really fast and

7:08

he was why do I feel like really fast

7:10

as a lie and I said i'll keep it

7:12

a ten minute and he goes ah are you

7:14

and to get which I like jack them like

7:16

pushing for this weird conversation and please up a

7:18

conversation with the and I go know but and

7:20

so confused about the condom wrapper and he goes

7:22

I'm about to sleep, let's just talk tomorrow and

7:24

I go leave me neither is because I'm that

7:26

asleep. Mind you, this man weeps

7:28

pretty late probably like eleven pm yeah and

7:30

would say my to when you're taxing m

7:33

it's at like ten o'clock his eyebrows like

7:35

okay, like like you can talk like you

7:37

could talk like if it was an easy

7:39

mistake and you knew I was paranoid about

7:41

it. Why not? It's just like

7:43

clear it up as you take a hundred

7:45

pretty much if I was in the if

7:47

anyone thought that I wasn't like acting right

7:49

are they like had a doubt about mean

7:51

anyway and it wasn't true. I would

7:53

immediately be calling me with almost we talked you

7:55

like right away I was like see that's what

7:58

I'm thinking the young ice or been like. Okay

8:00

okay something that the as though up.

8:03

As we get over heartbreak I am going

8:06

to start focusing on my health this year

8:08

at Like I want to be mindful of

8:10

what I put in my body and I'm

8:12

setting realistic goals and making small effect of

8:14

changes that will help me make healthy choices

8:16

and one the ways I've done that is

8:18

by incorporating Daily Harvest my meal plan. Daily.

8:22

Harvest is an easy way to get

8:24

organic fruits and veggies into my diet

8:26

without thinking too much about it. It's

8:28

so easy to prop and you have

8:30

so many choices to choose from. there.

8:32

also starch sugar filler free which means

8:34

I don't really have to worry about

8:36

consuming bad ingredients. Yes

8:38

and it helps me stay on track with

8:40

healthy habits. So my personal favourite now as

8:42

a cold ruin Almonds Movies he has talked

8:45

about this so many times it he so

8:47

guidance really think to myself is this even

8:49

healthy. Take the

8:51

guessing out of eating while and try

8:53

Daily Harvest for a limited time only

8:55

go to Daily harvest.com/out of the pods

8:57

to get thirty dollars off your first

8:59

box of plus free. Shipping. That's

9:02

Daily harvest.com/out of the Pots for

9:04

thirty dollars off your first past

9:07

and free shipping Daily Harvest or

9:09

Com/out of the Pots. And.

9:12

So I go. I respond to his

9:14

because I'm about to sleep tight. Ago.

9:16

This is really important to me and he goes

9:18

okay. why does it has to be so late?

9:20

I'll allow. I don't know how to do this

9:23

and obviously overcast isn't the way, but I don't

9:25

want to keep doing this. I think we deserve

9:27

more with the distance. It's just so tough though.

9:29

He's essentially like ending as young. You're. Like

9:31

know bitch and I was like i give

9:33

me an overweight and would have his blood

9:35

is happening right now and I go. On

9:38

and now you want to end after I asked about the

9:41

condom wrapper and it just feels like there's so much more

9:43

to the story as I way a will be an ankle.

9:45

Did you sleep with someone recently. And.

9:47

Man. He. Text back

9:49

Ah. He. Goes: I'm really sorry

9:52

Natalie I obviously care about you and I don't know

9:54

what to say. I just don't wanna do this anymore

9:56

of the distance by don't know how to tell you

9:58

some like bro bro it is. What

10:00

do you mean and and why I'm isn't

10:02

only are ready liquid I. Didn't ignore that

10:04

is not a mid air whatever. Ah, I'm sorry

10:06

and has been the next day and I was

10:08

like okay so what I'm getting from this is

10:11

you had sex with someone when we were together

10:13

and you lied to me about it last week

10:15

at i Don't Want to be With You to

10:17

the organism actually so disgusted by you but you

10:19

owe me at least some answer. So let's talk

10:21

tonight. Doesn't miss

10:23

mind. Never.

10:26

Calls me whatever like. I

10:28

other that a coward saying only I engine.

10:31

Calling him a few times, just yelling ignores the

10:33

phone call. So I send this. Ah

10:36

my girl I give up. I just want to

10:38

understand. Did not look back and think if you

10:40

as a horrible person but now I realize you

10:42

really are a week since I should currently. Man

10:44

it wasn't about the distance you lie to me

10:46

it straight to my face were on your bomb.

10:48

Say that you didn't have sex with someone, he

10:50

didn't have line shirt and have to suck someone

10:52

before I came to this at you're not a

10:54

good person and I hope you realize and you

10:56

hurt people. They carried an appeal for a while.

10:58

I feel sad for you because I don't carry

11:00

the burden of treating people badly like you do.

11:02

I'll move on just fine, but you'll still be

11:04

a selfish inherently liar who can't hold a relationship.

11:06

For more than three to four months in love.

11:08

And that's when he responded he's like hey, sorry

11:11

about like that's a ball Can I call it

11:13

a minute? I'm just like know we don't need

11:15

a talk anymore. June. And

11:17

this man. Still, Continues.

11:20

To like, not take responsibility and few

11:23

the right thing at the very last

11:25

moment of it all. So he goes.

11:27

I'm really fucking sorry Natalie. I obviously

11:29

messed up to the next degree. I

11:31

think that like the ninety degree. like

11:33

yeah yeah like on most obvious area.

11:35

I'm. Not sure that makes

11:37

me and evil human and I'm like.

11:40

Potty. Mouth and I go it. Does that

11:42

make feel really bad person A really shitty ones

11:44

the on it spend on for sale. Proud of

11:47

Moral: you don't like Paul yourself like like try

11:49

to. Not say what you did

11:51

like. Isn't these China. He's.

11:53

Hire you like himself. Feel better Laceration

11:56

I know it makes you really bad

11:58

percent if you lie to some. If

12:00

you fucked someone when a girl europe but

12:02

it's really worth way I can do in

12:04

a relationship. Yeah and I was like. You

12:07

sworn your mom slightly. What? what do you

12:09

mean that doesn't let it live in a

12:11

level of Memorial Day values and clean. Honestly

12:13

good was his mom at this point. I

12:15

know like common sense of these weren't for

12:17

literally Islam and I go it's a really

12:19

shitty went to the on as like a

12:21

really shitty person and he goes okay. San.

12:24

I guess let's just not talk. If that's what you

12:26

think of me than that's your sweetheart and deserve the

12:28

best. So I hope you find that. Thirty.

12:30

Minutes later I'm really sorry Natalie. You obviously didn't

12:33

deserve this and despite what you think of me,

12:35

I feel awful. I just don't know what to

12:37

say or do and I wanted to test. I

12:39

just didn't bother going on but I wanted to

12:42

say like it's not what I think of you

12:44

like you are a bad person is like I

12:46

hope you know that when you are a liar

12:48

and he tricked people, manipulate people all the way

12:51

to the and and don't know how to apologize

12:53

and do the right thing till the end. Yeah,

12:55

which is have a conversation, admit it and apologize.

12:57

Then you are a fat person. Agreed nut. that

13:00

is not normal. Behavior: Just a

13:02

really huge pot percent Seizure.

13:04

And than thirty minutes after he goes, do

13:06

you wanna talk? I'm guessing it's iphone? Know

13:09

your fox? Now you are. Literally. And I'm

13:11

guessing it's just gonna be you telling me

13:13

how much of an evil human I am.

13:16

I. Don't know he's ever tested more

13:19

of the has I silence him

13:21

lying and kind of just like

13:23

whatever and on deleted his text

13:25

messages though like I don't really.

13:28

Honestly I know like by so wild

13:30

me that he was reaching out you

13:32

to make himself feel better instead of

13:34

just he accountability. And I'm like. Dude.

13:37

I'm so sorry that I fucked up. And also

13:39

he never even admit. Yeah. What

13:41

He did like: How often when

13:43

the fuck did this happen? Like

13:45

know now, Like. Is. He

13:47

I was like he's so on

13:50

Well no anyways the last you

13:52

text messages he said. Oh

13:54

or it is like to the part where as

13:56

like only I don't know him like Ny he

13:58

became a. Stranger to? yeah, Like I

14:00

got the it looks like. I

14:03

can't believe I. Was.

14:05

With someone I thought was like. Much.

14:08

Her and like a really good

14:11

person and he he's actually about

14:13

know I know with so bad

14:15

I don't like calling people that

14:17

pizza night. Like truly, I

14:20

think that if you owe this, this

14:22

is a part that makes me so

14:24

sec. Fertilizers, When

14:26

to clear up Like I did not see this

14:28

coming Like I did not think that. I.

14:32

Don't know if you guys were there. I

14:34

wish you guys just thought. I

14:37

wish like everyone who listens was like my like

14:39

real life frightened and you guys are my friends

14:41

that like like you guys were with me in

14:43

the moments where experience things cause. I.

14:46

Was like it's just hard to explain

14:48

the put a gut wrenching feeling yards

14:50

I was like you. He.

14:53

Lies or entire. Relationship.

14:57

Lock. That tire. Seven.

14:59

Eight months of our relationship, he acted

15:01

like you so against like cheating so

15:03

against Liar is like all this stuff

15:05

and then I. You. Did.

15:09

You just did that. Like why it

15:11

ends and so like it's Murchison. You.

15:14

Know sleeping with someone lying about it and

15:16

my manipulating me and my trying to convince

15:19

me and training me feel crazy. It's it's

15:21

the thought that he like. Tricked

15:23

me. From the very beginning beyond it's

15:26

like crazy To me, it's I. It's

15:28

hard because it's like you haven't. gotten

15:30

many answers on like what actually.

15:33

Happened and so I feel like we just

15:35

sit here. And we ponder were like we think

15:37

the worse. And you're like he's been

15:39

doing this the entire time. I know, like

15:41

we don't know, but at the same time

15:43

it's like it doesn't matter. You know, it

15:45

really doesn't matter. It's like. Weirdly,

15:49

Not I'm like so fucking pissed at

15:51

him, but at the same time this

15:53

is like something. At least you know

15:55

something. So. Severe happened that you're like

15:57

I'm never coming back to the situation.

16:00

It it really sucks the has

16:02

i'm like. Honestly,

16:04

I was thinking of anti the released job I

16:06

had like a lot of multiple time me as

16:08

i had a lot of conversations with the theory

16:10

there's just some things where his like. And

16:13

a now he was very like flaky.

16:16

Some time spent. Mostly.

16:18

It was like we were incompatible in terms of

16:20

like. Who.

16:24

Don't know like our personalities like for

16:26

example I'm I'm like always like very

16:29

curious. I want to know. By.

16:31

Your friends and family I want to know

16:33

what your hopes and dreams are. He I

16:35

love having those types of com or young

16:37

or rather my conversation and yeah I need

16:39

to be intellectually simulator oath I check out

16:42

and he is not like. An

16:44

inquisitive are very like curious thing with

16:46

and you're not saying that he should

16:48

be exactly like. You but there should be

16:50

some sort of like. Like

16:52

a hurry up and curiosity. In

16:54

the sense of like to talk to me about life like, what

16:56

are you thinking, what are you feeling like. None of

16:59

them A he giddy, None of that yeah he

17:01

he just would not ask like follow question. The.

17:03

Ah ah I'm so like it was just

17:06

like in compatibility at Like We're we're already

17:08

thinking about the and like I'm a delight

17:10

like whoa. Ah, But don't

17:12

What kept me and was like I trusted him a lot. We

17:14

had so much fun like when we had our like good mom

17:17

is it was like. So. Fine we have

17:19

always the same sense of humor and

17:21

really both really silly and ah it

17:23

was like fun but dallas one piece

17:25

where I remember it like telling you

17:27

or I on our and also like

17:29

my other best friends you have like.

17:32

When. I go to dinner with

17:34

him. I dread it because like we

17:36

kind of just sit in silence or

17:38

I the think of like a topic

17:41

this may be he doesn't sell the

17:43

silence and pilots can be very comfortable

17:45

like I'm not the only have to

17:47

talk like I realize like. If.

17:50

There's is not a lot going on

17:52

like a talking about myself because he's

17:54

not asking me any questions about my

17:56

job. Yeah, He. Arm so it

17:59

was like coffin that. He's just like real.

18:01

I didn't feel like intellectually like are

18:03

emotionally stimulated in that when not young

18:05

so I was thinking of like maybe

18:07

the just like is. Not.

18:09

A good fit as in compatibility and I

18:11

would have never guessed like we would end

18:13

like this was he. Lie. To

18:16

me and manipulate me and I wish he

18:18

was just like a piece Me wishes I

18:20

just never knew and I ended it over

18:22

and compatibility is birth like now him doing

18:25

this. Because. I've been cheated

18:27

on before. I've talked about their oh yeah,

18:29

me too yeah like we talked about there's

18:31

and I feel like. It.

18:34

Put me in such a dark place. In

18:36

Not like. My. Walls went up so high

18:38

like I was like oh my gosh like. I

18:41

can't trust to someone and I feel like

18:43

he was the first person in a long

18:45

time. Worth my while. She's went down and

18:47

I was like I try to mimic Hundred

18:49

and Leon yeah. Natalie

18:52

I think with everything going on right now

18:54

we're gonna. Need a good girls night? And

18:57

you can have a good girls night

18:59

without wine. which is why I made

19:01

my life a whole lot easier by

19:03

using First Leaves to get my wine

19:05

bottles personalized and delivered to me on

19:07

my schedule. While my

19:09

heart is definitely in need of some new why

19:12

and I'm so bad at like going out of

19:14

my comfort zone with wine is I don't know

19:16

anything about wide but it's Natalie to point out

19:18

the the earth I'm looking x me as I

19:20

why palette. So first leave is just what I

19:23

need. Yeah. You're gonna love

19:25

first leave. It's just so easy to set

19:27

up. You answer a few questions on what

19:29

you like, what you don't like, and then

19:31

an expert team selection assortment of a world

19:33

class winds up based on those preferences. Try

19:36

something new this year with birth. We've

19:38

gotta try First leave.com/out of the Pops

19:40

a sign up. You'll get your first

19:42

six can carried battles for just forty

19:45

Four Ninety five. That's. P R

19:47

Y F I R S P.

19:49

L E A as.com Flash out

19:51

of the pods. Try first leave.com/out

19:53

of the pod. and

19:57

on Yeah,

20:00

and I feel like so sad because

20:03

I also told him about

20:05

this like at dinner last

20:07

weekend. Oh my god Literally

20:12

talked to you about it and then

20:14

was just like able to have a straight face

20:17

and not fucking like admit it or just I

20:19

don't even know have some remorse. He still to

20:21

this day have not said straight up like hey

20:23

I have sex with somebody else. I

20:26

just thought about this but last

20:28

Saturday Again,

20:30

when I was in New York City, we went to

20:32

dinner and he like is kind of secretive with his

20:34

phone I don't think it's kind of

20:36

like we're three. I know literally red flags with this

20:40

New York boys fucking dead but

20:43

I've it's kind of like an ongoing conversation But

20:46

he says it because he's always checking the ESPN

20:48

app and he's always on ax formally known as

20:50

Twitter And it used to

20:52

bother me because he would go on it so much when we would

20:54

have like dinners together And

20:56

so he goes, oh, sorry Like I he like kind

20:59

of like covers his phone or like looks at his

21:01

phone. So like I can't see it. That's wild Again,

21:05

but I might didn't even go through like is

21:07

he texting other girls or is he like, yeah

21:09

something I'm sure you probably wasn't in that moment.

21:11

But like still he's being here with the phone

21:14

I was like, hey like sometimes like when you

21:16

do that, I know you like don't mean anything

21:18

about it But it's like triggers me from like

21:21

when I've been cheated because like my ex

21:23

did that Yeah, and so it

21:25

like brings me back to like a really dark place Yeah,

21:27

it just makes you like question things and like you're not

21:30

in a yeah And he goes, oh I just do it

21:32

because I know like you don't like when I go on

21:36

X a lot like Twitter a lot

21:38

or like ESPN app So I like, you

21:41

know, just I'm just cover that cuz he

21:43

does. I don't want it. Yeah, it like

21:46

annoying you at all And I was like, okay that makes

21:48

sense. But I promise I won't get annoyed if you'd like

21:50

want to check Yeah, you're like

21:52

whatever like I was like, it doesn't matter but

21:54

like when you try to like Cover

21:57

what you're looking at it makes me feel like some

21:59

sort of way Yeah, you can

22:01

tell the vibes are off if like something

22:03

is off like again intuitive senses

22:05

are fucking flowing and you're like

22:07

something is not Sitting right. Yeah,

22:09

like if it's just Twitter or

22:11

whatever else, it's just like okay, that's fine

22:13

It's not like you're gonna get so angry

22:15

about it But to be honest,

22:18

it's like, you know, I am pretty

22:20

private about my phone to you even though I'm not

22:22

doing anything bad It's more like I don't want to

22:24

be judged looking at like I don't know a fluke

22:27

looking at my insurance My

22:31

partner's like why are you like who are you looking at girl?

22:33

You're looking at I was like, I don't even know how I

22:35

got there No,

22:39

literally So does all like go in it Do

22:41

you ever go in an Instagram poll where you

22:43

like click on someone and click on someone and

22:45

some of us friend and some of Friends and

22:47

all of a sudden you're on this into like

22:49

yeah, but you're like on someone's Instagram who isn't

22:51

even like a public figure They're just like a

22:53

random friend of a friendship a friend hundred percent

22:55

and you're just like rolling through their photos and

22:57

I'm like, okay Yeah, so like I get private

22:59

my Instagram cuz like that's yeah embarrassing or I'm

23:02

googling things like why is my

23:04

stomach making this noise? What

23:09

did I eat that triggered my today You

23:13

know like things like that and So

23:16

I was like I get it you're you're essentially

23:18

just like like I don't

23:21

know what you're kind of just like Understanding in

23:23

the mind. Yeah, like not trying to like and

23:25

I was like almost like I know It's

23:28

not fair. I'm asking you that but I was like, you don't

23:30

have to like cover it I won't look at your phone is

23:32

what I was saying I was like, but like when you like

23:34

try to act like you're covering it It like triggers something

23:36

and I was like it just takes me to like

23:38

a really dark mindset in place And

23:41

he sits there and like five minutes later He's like, I

23:43

don't feel well and we're just like kind of sit in

23:45

silence at dinner and then on the walk back home Back

23:48

to his place from dinner. He's like, sorry. I was so

23:51

silent at dinner and I was like, yeah That was kind

23:53

of weird, but it's fine. Yeah, I was

23:55

thinking back to it I really feel like he felt

23:57

so guilty because he knew what he had just done.

23:59

Yes That's why he was probably like

24:01

sick to his stomach feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Thankfully that

24:04

means that he might have a soul But

24:07

then he was all good and fun when we got back to

24:09

his place. He's like, oh my gosh I

24:11

think he has like maybe a soul for like

24:13

five seconds and then he's like whatever we're done

24:16

with that. Yeah But

24:19

anyways, that's actually kind of wild to

24:21

me that he never fucking like Still

24:25

to this day like how long was he gonna go

24:27

on without telling you and like was

24:29

it ever gonna happen if you didn't Bring up doubts

24:31

and you're like, hey Like this is not sitting well

24:33

with me and like how to conversation with you Like

24:35

when would he have even told you if at all?

24:37

I think just looking

24:39

at his reaction of when I asked him

24:41

about the condom wrapper and he was like

24:44

I think we should end it. Yeah, I

24:47

think that if if he did feel any

24:49

remorse and guilt, which I to be honest I

24:51

don't think he does. I think he would

24:53

have never told me but like would have ended

24:55

it me. So just like kind of Just

24:59

to make himself feel better. Yeah, like cognitive

25:01

dissonance kind of yeah, like oh my gosh,

25:03

I'm feeling uneasy Let me just like get out of

25:05

this situation completely Yeah,

25:07

and like he is a

25:09

dismissive avoidant Like I've talked about it with

25:12

him and he very much is a dismissive

25:14

avoidant if you guys know attachment theories It's

25:16

like this is avoidance. It comes from like

25:21

I don't know like the core causes because there's

25:24

like a few but like shirts environmental. There's yeah

25:27

Yeah, like happens from childhood or some

25:29

like kind of like dramatic event. Yeah,

25:31

but you were growing

25:33

up like he I

25:35

don't want to say like symptoms

25:37

signs of a dismissive avoidant is like

25:40

when they feel like Like

25:44

especially when they're in a committed like

25:47

going towards a committed relationship or in a committed

25:49

relationship They start feeling like smothered and they need

25:51

out and they start like Doing

25:55

things to get out of that relationship. So it's

25:57

either a breath we ending it like they start

25:59

feeling like very like trapped

26:01

type of thing and so that

26:03

either leads to like just ghosting

26:05

abruptly ending a relationship or just

26:07

like wanting to end it like

26:09

these feelings and then also like

26:12

maybe focusing like on icks or annoying traits of

26:14

their partner that haven't like bothered them before it

26:16

could be like the way they look like clothes

26:18

or like a certain like manner in them. They

26:20

kind of come up with whatever excuse they can

26:22

to run. I've always wondered if

26:24

him like sleeping

26:30

with someone else was like

26:33

him feeling like smothered.

26:35

Yeah. In that relationship with

26:37

me. And we were like, did he

26:39

place this condom rather than there? No,

26:42

literally. So you can find it. I was like,

26:44

consciously or subconsciously like did he place it there?

26:46

But okay, if he did that, he should have

26:48

just owned up to it. He should have just

26:50

been like, yep, I thought someone and I think

26:52

it literally happened the day before I arrived. And

26:54

the fact that if he did that, oh my

26:56

God, should we go to New York City and cut his balls off? I'm

27:00

just kidding. No, but seriously

27:02

though, what the fuck is wrong with him? He is?

27:04

No, I know. Okay, but can

27:06

I say one thing? No, I am just like

27:08

really proud of you for

27:11

like saying something to

27:13

him and also weirdly like, for

27:16

example, like I've been cheated on before with

27:18

my six year relationship. And when

27:20

he like, I found text messages to

27:22

another person, it's like one level of

27:24

cheating. Because I'm like, oh, like he

27:26

didn't actually physically cheat. And like, after

27:29

a couple months, I went back to

27:31

him. Please do not

27:33

do that. That is the worst thing you can ever do. But like,

27:35

it's the physical cheating part. That was like

27:38

when he told me he did that like

27:40

three years later, because like, I physically cheated

27:42

on you. And he told me during the

27:44

relationship during my yes, he ended up admitting

27:46

it. He admitted it to me. And I

27:48

was like, Okay, that is the last straw.

27:51

Like there's no coming back from this. And

27:53

weirdly, like, if you had left it up

27:55

to incompatibility, or like,

27:58

I don't know, whatever else you would kind of be thinking about. about

28:00

him still in the way like, oh, like, should I have made

28:02

that work? Like, would this have been a

28:04

thing? Like you think about stuff like

28:06

that, but this is something so severe that

28:08

you're like, I am never going back to

28:11

this. And weirdly, like I

28:13

find solace in that for you being like,

28:15

okay, like you don't have to

28:17

like go through all of that, like turmoil of

28:19

like, was that the person? I should like, should

28:22

I go back? You know, now you just know,

28:24

like absolutely not. He is not the person you

28:26

can sever the ties and

28:28

move on, you know? Like, it's,

28:30

it's, it's fucking sucks.

28:33

But like you, we've been through, you've

28:36

been through worse. The

28:38

only thing that sucks is like, I feel like

28:40

the last time I got cheated on, I,

28:43

my walls went up

28:45

so high. And I remember

28:48

like every relationship or

28:50

potential relationship after I like couldn't

28:52

trust the other guy. I

28:54

would almost like self sabotage though. Cause

28:56

I was like, so like

28:58

paranoid of getting like cheated on again. Yeah. Yeah.

29:00

Like I would just kind of like, um,

29:05

just like you hold back and go back into the shell

29:07

and be like, well, he's going to cheat on me anyway,

29:09

so I need to like end this relationship. That's how I

29:11

used to like think. Yeah. Yeah. Because

29:14

what happens in your past relationships kind of

29:16

like, you carry that weight with you into

29:18

your new relationships and it can hurt your

29:20

trust. It can hurt like a lot

29:22

of like core things in, I

29:25

don't know. Like if the person that was so

29:27

close to you talked to every single day, that's

29:29

the person that hurts you, you're like, Oh my

29:31

gosh. Like, like you kind

29:34

of like lose faith in relationships or people

29:36

sometimes. And it's like really hard to get

29:38

pull yourself out of it, but

29:40

you, you are going to be justified.

29:43

I want to believe that here's the thing of like, of,

29:47

you know, if something ends by cheating, yeah, I

29:49

think for us, it's like that's never like, I'm

29:51

never going to be like, never. Yeah. Like I

29:54

just can't because I'll find myself now like in

29:56

a really dark place. And I never did. And

29:59

quite honestly, I think with. he just, I think

30:01

he kind of showed his true colors and it kind

30:03

of makes me sick. But what

30:05

sucks about like not

30:07

ending it because of like incompatibility and it

30:09

just kind of being like a very, more

30:14

of like a fond memory looking back

30:16

at everything versus like, I feel

30:19

like now my walls are up so much higher

30:21

and I'm back to like square

30:24

one. Like I wish, like

30:27

I don't know. I feel like I

30:29

did so much work and I trusted so much.

30:34

And then, and I like had my

30:36

walls all fall down because I was like, oh my

30:38

gosh, like I could finally like, I don't have to

30:41

worry about that. Yeah. And

30:43

then he does this and then it's like, oh my gosh, and

30:46

now my walls are higher and like everything

30:48

that I worked

30:51

on to just like be vulnerable and

30:53

like trusting. I don't know. I'm

30:56

like, I have to square one type of thing. And

30:58

I hate that. Like he doesn't realize that.

31:01

And I don't think he either doesn't care

31:03

or really just justifies it in his

31:05

head that like what he did

31:07

was like, okay, not that bad. But I was like, I

31:10

don't know. You left so much like

31:12

hurt and sadness and pain. And

31:15

like, I have to now like carry that with

31:17

me for a while. I'm

31:20

not going to cry about it because I literally cried about it for

31:22

like the last several

31:24

days and I just like can't anymore.

31:26

Yeah. Honestly crying is healing.

31:28

Yeah, it really is. But yeah.

31:32

Yeah. He just like, I have

31:34

to carry that with me. And I

31:36

don't think he realizes like, I don't

31:38

think this is the first time he

31:40

has done this. Absolutely not. Considering he

31:42

can't even apologize well, I was like,

31:45

and feel any sort of remorse.

31:48

I don't think this is the first time he

31:50

has done this to a woman or

31:52

a partner. And he

31:55

just like gets away with it. You know what I

31:57

mean? Yeah. Like he's like, does he have any

31:59

hurt over it? Like what is? You know what I mean? Like he

32:01

just kind of like doesn't realize the bulldozing

32:03

he's doing to people's emotions and like fucking

32:05

up their life and like now you have

32:07

to kind of sit with this and like

32:10

figure out, oh my gosh, where do I go from here?

32:12

And then you carry it on to your next relationship.

32:14

It's like he doesn't fucking get the damage that he's

32:17

done. I

32:19

think about phones a lot, especially when men are

32:22

being a little secretive with their phones. But

32:24

I've also always wondered why phone plans are so

32:26

expensive. It feels like I'm getting ripped off by

32:29

overpriced wireless providers. And that's why I was happy

32:31

to hear mint mobile wireless plans are only $15

32:33

a month when you purchase

32:35

a three month plan. It makes sense how

32:37

they can do it. MintMobile sells their wireless

32:40

service online, which means they cut out the

32:42

cost of retail stores and pass those savings

32:44

directly to you. Exactly.

32:46

And with MintMobile, I get 5G

32:48

everywhere I go. Even when

32:50

I'm traveling, I know I can rely on

32:52

MintMobile. I'm truly done with

32:54

overpriced monthly bills for my wireless plan

32:56

and unexpected overages. Their plans come with

32:59

unlimited talk and text and high speed

33:01

data delivered on the nation's largest 5G

33:03

network. To get

33:05

your new wireless plan for just $15

33:07

a month and get the plan shipped

33:09

to your door for free, go to

33:11

mintmobile.com/out of the pods. That's

33:14

mintmobile.com/out of the pods. Cut your

33:16

wireless bill to $15 a month

33:19

at mintmobile.com/out of the pods. So

33:22

taxes, fees and restrictions apply. Same at mobile

33:24

for details. Anyways,

33:27

he was telling me about an older

33:30

woman that he dated and he says

33:32

that this is

33:35

the famous woman. My famous girl? Yes. She

33:38

was a very well known actress.

33:42

Anyway, so he dated

33:45

this older actress

33:50

and he said I could tell she

33:52

was becoming serious in the relationship because

33:55

she would say, oh, I told my sisters about

33:57

you, all this stuff. They went

33:59

on dates. whatever. He ended

34:01

up meeting someone else like closer to his age

34:05

and so he's like you know I need to

34:07

probably end it with this like older woman and

34:09

so he said

34:12

I went to have one last sleepover he

34:14

went if you know what I'm saying he

34:16

went over to like sleep with her one

34:18

last time and then he decided

34:20

to leave and it like pissed her off she's like

34:22

you just came over to like yeah

34:24

literally and fuck

34:27

kind of like I think more

34:29

happens because she like freaked out at him she's

34:31

like I'm blocking your number and everything imagine doing

34:33

that and I was just like that

34:35

is like really messed up and I was like

34:37

because you probably again like left her with like

34:40

a lot of her yeah he goes well

34:42

she should have known like why would I

34:44

ever like why would I have a future

34:46

with like an older woman and so that's

34:48

how you guys besides oh so I'm like

34:50

her liza is deflect he projects

34:52

his oh my god there's so

34:54

many things wrong with this person and then I said to

34:56

me I was like well like imagine if that was me

34:59

like will you do that to me you go no that's

35:01

a different scenario like I see a future with us and

35:03

he said that to me and this isn't like the early

35:05

stages of us dating he goes that was like she doesn't

35:07

know I really love bombing you yeah he goes I know literally

35:10

I like he said it's like he's like it's not

35:13

the same like he was I would never do that

35:15

to you because like we have a future and she

35:17

was like older like I want kids and like she

35:19

wasn't gonna have kids you know like she was in

35:21

her 50s oh

35:25

I know oh and

35:28

yeah therapy he needs therapy

35:30

now literally I think

35:32

about it and I was like I feel like

35:34

for our situation he probably again justified it oh

35:38

because it's one distance there's probably not a

35:40

future to make himself feel better but I

35:43

again it sucks cuz like he will

35:45

never know like kind of like the

35:47

carnage yeah he leaves behind you know

35:50

in a weird way though like I remember

35:52

when you guys broke up the first

35:54

time and you guys went back you

35:57

guys got back together and like weirdly

36:00

I'm just happy something so like

36:02

drastic It's like We're

36:05

the universe literally makes you move if you're

36:07

not going in the right direction and like

36:09

and it'll do crazy things And you are

36:11

not supposed to be in that relationship You

36:14

are not supposed to be with him and like this

36:16

is your starting point to be like I'm

36:18

gonna fucking move on and find the person that's

36:20

right for me and like I really gonna challenge

36:22

you It's gonna take time for you, but you

36:25

really need to Understand that

36:27

not everyone is like that. There's

36:29

good people out there and

36:32

people who are like Gonna

36:34

treat you well And this is

36:36

your step stepping stone to finding

36:38

that person like eventually and what you

36:41

kind of like I

36:43

don't know get through the hurt, you know Yeah,

36:46

I um, I was looking for this

36:49

like Quote I

36:52

saw somewhere Or not

36:54

a quote it was more of a saying but

36:57

um Or it was this

36:59

comic really where a birdie on a

37:01

branch Said something

37:03

like the birdie doesn't need to trust

37:05

that the branch will not break because he trusts

37:07

his own wings and knows he can fly away

37:09

if that happens, yeah, I was like, okay, I

37:11

think I hope I get to a place of

37:13

like um like

37:16

I Think

37:20

when to be if i'm gonna be honest like

37:22

when this all happened I kind of felt like

37:27

Like oh was this my fault somehow like was I not

37:30

Not but your head still goes. Oh, I

37:32

wasn't good enough for you to just like

37:35

even bare minimum like tell me the truth and

37:37

just like Apologize to me

37:39

like just like a human. Yeah, like I

37:41

wasn't even worth like a real Apology.

37:44

Yeah, but I realized like

37:48

I don't know. I have to trust myself. Like I can't rely

37:52

on my partners like I just trust myself

37:54

that I will Walk away and

37:56

do the things that are like good for me. Yeah, because

37:58

at the end of the day Yeah, at

38:01

the end of the day, we have like,

38:03

you're, you have to be good with you

38:05

and not you have to get to a

38:08

place of like non-attachment where like, listen,

38:10

like no matter what anyone does to

38:12

you, you have faith in yourself, you

38:14

have confidence and love, then

38:16

trust in yourself to be like, I, you

38:19

can pull through any situation, you know, and

38:21

it's really hard though. Like

38:24

I remember the day that

38:26

I found out that I was cheated on. And

38:29

like, I was like, Oh my God, we lived together. Our

38:31

stuff was together. And it's just like, holy crap. Like

38:33

how can someone do this to me when I'm with

38:35

them 24 seven? Like

38:37

this is like, we're so integrated in

38:39

life. And it's like the toughest thing

38:42

because you do, you do self, you

38:45

like self evaluate. And you're

38:47

like, what is it wrong in me that like he did this

38:49

to me, but it is 100% them and

38:52

nothing to do with you. It's

38:54

just so hard. Did you ever ask your

38:56

partner like why he cheated on you? No,

38:59

I didn't even get to that point because as

39:02

soon as he told me, I was like, get the fuck out,

39:04

get the fuck out of my apartment immediately.

39:06

Like I was like, in so

39:08

much pain, I didn't even know how

39:10

to ask because you like, you need time

39:12

to process it and like sit with that emotion

39:15

for a while and be like, okay, let me

39:17

just like, just figure out what

39:19

the fuck just happened. It's kind of like a car accident.

39:21

And you get in a car accident and you just have

39:23

like such heightened emotions and you're like, I need to like

39:26

simmer down the emotions to kind of really

39:28

feel what I'm feeling. I

39:30

did not some one thing. Now

39:34

that I'm very, very single, I realized

39:36

I need a new wardrobe refresh. I

39:38

literally had nothing to wear this week.

39:41

And I realized like, I don't know, I just need

39:44

to start a new, but when this happens, my favorite

39:46

place to go to to add to my closet is

39:48

Quince. I Believe they have my

39:50

favorite high quality, affordable pieces. Dude, after

39:52

you told me this, I immediately went

39:54

to their website and spent entirely too

39:56

much time on it. I Loved how

39:58

easy it was to. Navigate and fine

40:00

Exactly what I'm looking for. They have

40:03

like a home section or travel sections

40:05

that such great options. I ended up

40:07

getting the Mongolian. Kashmir oversized

40:09

boyfriend cardigan. Sweater. It just

40:11

looked so cozy. And. I'm excited about

40:14

it! Yeah, I highly recommend their

40:16

cashmere sweater. So I bought a cashmere sweater from

40:18

than two years ago and it still looks so

40:20

good. People think it's more expensive than what I

40:22

bought it for and I bought it for fifty

40:25

bucks and I've left everything that I've gotten from

40:27

plants, Well. Indulge in affordable luxury.

40:29

Go to Quince or Com Sauce out of

40:31

the pause for free shipping. On your order

40:33

and at three hundred and sixty five day returns.

40:36

That's que you I and C

40:38

E.com/out of the pot to get

40:41

free shipping and three sixty five

40:43

day returns quince.com/out of the Pots.

40:46

Teasing. That would have every like helped in

40:48

your. Arm.

40:52

Like. In just. I.

40:54

Want to call it recovery for just

40:56

like healing? Know because again nothing that

40:58

he would have told. Me would have

41:00

made the situation any better. Yeah because

41:02

it's like. It's. Not like he did

41:05

at one time you know to me and like

41:07

it's it's not like it just happened. are the

41:09

blue north an accident like was not very understanding

41:11

and I'm like. I. Whole heartedly. I mean

41:13

I got back together with him after I

41:15

found text messages on his own. like to

41:17

another person I got back together with him.

41:19

but it's like I'm so understanding to a

41:21

fault. You know any mean, like no matter

41:23

what. They've. Even said to

41:25

you to explain justify it or like if

41:27

you would have known the details. It's.

41:30

Not gonna make anything better. It doesn't.

41:32

Erase the fact that he did it. yeah

41:34

you know I always wonder that of like.

41:37

You. Know before I just I stopped responding to and

41:40

I just want to have one last on called

41:42

like how long has this been going on Like

41:44

why did you lie to me like you could

41:46

have just told me the truth Now. Ah,

41:49

I'm feeling a prison cell

41:51

understanding. Like leading.

41:53

Up to this and I was like why

41:55

didn't you just have like. He.

41:58

Had so many opportunities. Tell

42:00

me just be a good person. Yeah,

42:02

how many opportunities like like whining about

42:05

you that we can? I know that's

42:07

what I'm gonna say most part of

42:09

like. If. You knew I

42:11

was coming and he lived like slept with

42:13

some lion. All. The neighbors former

42:15

okay, clean. Those are the know how to

42:17

fucking for hims. Clearly not.

42:21

Bro literally bought. A week

42:23

Ill did you even like like oh

42:25

did we sit on like did you

42:27

do it on the cause I like

42:29

the kind of with other people are

42:31

the cause of rapper like I was

42:33

like oh we're not there watching a

42:35

movie literally Sex oh dude I don't

42:37

understand I don't understand people like that

42:39

as like a true you know it's

42:41

it's not that hard to be a

42:43

good person like I don't get it

42:45

and a dude I'm really. Sorry that

42:47

you. Had to go through

42:50

this and. This lake after traumatizing

42:52

fucking relationship from the for

42:54

the sport Things like it's

42:56

it's is hard and like

42:59

it's okay Isis know. You're gonna

43:01

come out so much stronger from this and just

43:03

like. Brilliant.

43:05

Even to be so result. You know, very

43:07

interesting as you know how I'd like. I always

43:09

say like I don't believe the manifestation awfully than

43:11

like the universe. I yeah. Bangs

43:13

your wax and honestly, I

43:16

actually a little New York. A little

43:18

piece of me believes the net after

43:20

that, cause I really do. You think?

43:23

Like. It was divine intervention and

43:25

or sell some sort of like

43:27

you running around passage like telling

43:29

me something. Me they remember. Like

43:32

going. To see in this weekend I was

43:34

like ah should I go with high it's like

43:36

an expensive fly and I quote a minute reality

43:38

last minute trap and I was like ah like

43:41

should I go, should I not as like when

43:43

we just go and I feel like if I

43:45

never went last week and I would have never

43:47

found that kind of matter. Actually I would have

43:49

never. If he broke it off. I

43:52

would as. Like. just thought

43:54

like oh it's just incompatibility or me

43:56

like i would have never never thought

43:59

they never thought And I

44:01

don't know if I should be grateful for it

44:03

or not. You have to be. You have to

44:05

be grateful for it because you would have continued

44:07

on and you have no idea when he would

44:09

have even told you the truth or if he would have ever

44:11

told you the truth. He would have never. And he would

44:13

have continued on with his behavior. I

44:16

have no idea if he's done it

44:18

multiple times or it was a single

44:20

time thing, but you

44:23

believe in fate now. I don't even

44:25

lie to you. I feel like everything does

44:27

happen for me. Yeah, like I feel

44:29

like there's things that happen where maybe

44:32

the universe or higher power is like trying to

44:34

just be like, wake the fuck up. Exactly. Like

44:37

a slap in the face. Like this bad thing is the

44:39

wrong path. Or it's like this bad

44:41

thing happened and you have to like find out

44:43

about it. Yeah. Um,

44:46

yeah. No, yeah. The universe shows you everything

44:48

that you need to know eventually. You know what I mean? Like

44:51

the truth always comes out and people who

44:53

do bad things in life, they will get

44:55

caught. And like, I pray

44:57

to God that his karma is coming to him.

45:00

Like you don't even need to worry about revenge

45:02

or anything. Like you'd be happy in you and

45:05

his karma will come to him. He's going to

45:07

be old and miserable and single. But

45:10

you know, one last point to just him. Um,

45:14

you know, I always wonder like, you know

45:16

how that, that's saying we see it a lot. You are

45:18

the company you keep a hundred. Yes. He

45:21

has a friend who, um, he hangs out with her

45:23

at least works out with quite frequently who

45:25

currently like cheats on his wife.

45:28

That is so

45:30

fucked up. And like the thing about

45:32

if you say like, it's so shitty, it's so bad.

45:34

Like this guy's just like wrote like all this stuff.

45:38

Um, like he has other friends who won't

45:40

hang out with this specific friend because of

45:42

what he's doing to his wife. Um,

45:46

and for those friends, oh my gosh. But

45:49

like, I was like, does that ever

45:52

have an impact? You see his friends like getting away

45:54

with it and he's like, I could get away with

45:56

it or it's okay to like lie. Like

45:58

does that. I always just like

46:00

wonder that because I don't have any friends that you

46:03

know do that currently and I think if I did have

46:05

a friend our other friends would be like what the fuck

46:07

is wrong with you like you better do the right thing.

46:11

And I always wondered like not excusing

46:13

but is that

46:15

like a red flag I should look for? Like

46:18

in future relationships? But what really confused me

46:20

was acted like he was so disgusted by

46:22

his friend like this guy's bad guy blah

46:24

blah blah blah and I was like you

46:26

literally did the same thing. Yeah I don't

46:29

know what goes on in people's heads sometimes

46:31

when they like do bad

46:33

things like this but it's like clearly just like

46:35

a projection of their own insecurities you know what

46:37

I mean? It's like why are

46:39

you stringing along people? Why are you like pretending

46:41

like you want to like a future with them

46:43

and like be in a relationship when you're clearly

46:45

not ready for that? You know

46:47

I don't know but like it's

46:50

not our job to even fucking understand it. I

46:53

do have to say it's really

46:55

tough because after like

46:57

all the relationships and the hard things

47:00

it's like sometimes hard because we're like do I

47:02

trust my own intuition anymore? You know

47:05

what I mean? It's like is my

47:07

radar off? Like and it's like it's

47:09

not there's just bad people in the

47:11

world and sometimes like there's a part

47:13

of you that needs to heal so that like you don't

47:15

attract that you know what I mean? Yeah

47:18

and we won't I

47:20

don't know. I don't know my

47:22

track record kind of sucks these days but

47:24

I love saying speaking about like the universe

47:26

and like I don't know. Hi welcome to

47:29

my world. I had like I

47:32

wouldn't say like an old fling but someone

47:34

like I really really liked and it just

47:37

didn't work out because you know I started

47:39

dating and I was like I'm just gonna cut that off but

47:41

he randomly checked in last night he like

47:43

called me he's like I just felt like I need

47:45

to check in and he doesn't know any of this

47:47

happened like we don't have enough like mutual friends for

47:49

him to like no I haven't told a ton of

47:51

people yet I've kind of just been like a cocoon

47:53

in my own house like kind of like

47:56

processing this but

47:58

I was like maybe like things happened because

48:00

it leads you other ways into like other

48:02

people. And so I

48:05

don't know. He just like checked in and like

48:07

asked and I feel like if I was like

48:09

I would have never picked up that phone call. Exactly. But

48:11

I was like I picked it up and it felt so

48:13

good and for a little piece of me and I was

48:15

like you know what like look I'm not saying

48:17

I'm gonna like go into dating. No, it's just like

48:19

a little glimmer of like oh my gosh okay there's

48:21

like a silver

48:23

lining to the situation. And I was

48:27

like it doesn't just like end here.

48:30

Yeah. No, actually not. My

48:32

love life doesn't end here. Yeah, it's starting

48:34

again. So I don't know. Wait, can I

48:36

tell you speaking of like cheating and whatever

48:38

last weekend I went out. Well I

48:40

didn't go out. Last weekend I had a bunch

48:42

of people at my place and one of my friends brought

48:44

over his friend and

48:48

he was so cute. I was like oh my

48:50

gosh like he's so like whatever. And

48:52

I'm like very closed off to love right now. Like I'm

48:54

just like in my own little even though I'm wearing an

48:56

I love you shirt for Valentine's Day.

49:00

But I was like you know what whatever. Anyways he

49:02

was like being very forward with me and I was

49:04

like oh okay like he spilled something on his shirt.

49:07

And he was like will you help me like get it out. And

49:09

I'm like okay sure. I was like sure I'll

49:11

help you out. And

49:13

then I brought up my Dyson hair dryer to be like

49:15

let me dry off your shirt. Here's your Dyson. He's a

49:17

Dyson. And he was like well could you just do it

49:19

for me. And he was like go

49:22

under the shirt and do it. He's being so

49:24

flirty with me all night. Like very flirty. He's

49:26

so flirty. And then towards

49:28

the middle of the night he's like oh

49:30

yeah like I have a girlfriend. She like lives across

49:32

the street from here. And

49:35

I died inside. I literally

49:37

was like are you serious right now.

49:39

Like I was like what kind of behavior

49:41

is this if you have a girlfriend. Like

49:44

did you say that to him. No.

49:47

You just thought it. I just thought it in my head because obviously

49:49

I'm not going to like say to him. But this is so funny

49:51

when he was leaving. One green flag about

49:53

him he's like I'm going to go and like hang out with

49:55

my dog. And I was like oh that's actually really sweet. But

49:57

I was like you have a girlfriend. But anyways he was like.

50:00

like we should hang out sometime and I was like yeah you should invite

50:02

your girlfriend next time.

50:04

That is sick. It's sick like

50:06

sick. People like this exist all over

50:08

the place like no I know they

50:11

just have no boundaries that have no

50:13

like fucking moral compass. Do you think

50:15

like flirting with other women is considered

50:19

cheating because I think so like if your

50:21

partner flirted with other people I think that's

50:23

cheating. Listen I'm kind of a natural flirt

50:26

that's like I'm just nice to people and

50:28

people mistake it for flirting. No same. No

50:30

and I'm like I'm not trying to flirt

50:32

with you. I'm just being nice and like

50:34

fun whatever right and I do think that

50:36

emotional cheating is a thing. I think that

50:38

like flirting is like it

50:41

depends to what level I feel like it's like fine

50:43

be yourself. So like that line is like not that

50:45

bad but if they do anything forward like

50:47

asking for a number or doing that which

50:49

this guy actually did ask for my number because

50:51

he's like I want you to play the SoundCloud

50:54

playlist. Oh right. And so I was like fine cool

50:57

but like he and he texted me

50:59

after that I think is wrong. If

51:01

you have a girlfriend don't text me. Yeah I agree.

51:04

Yeah. Especially if you're gonna

51:06

be like flirty with them I feel like that's the

51:08

line. A hundred percent and like you

51:10

know internally if you're doing something that's wrong. Yeah

51:13

I don't know it's just

51:15

all like very icky. I don't

51:17

know if it's like wrong wrong but

51:19

it's just like no I wouldn't I

51:22

wouldn't want my boyfriend doing that but

51:24

no absolutely no absolutely not. It just

51:26

sucks because I'm like damn you're so

51:28

cute like but red flags red

51:30

flags red flags. Look I

51:32

know people are always like like

51:36

wrong. When people

51:38

have like an affair and both

51:40

of them like and it's always yeah it's

51:42

on like the partner who cheated but the

51:44

other person if they're aware that that part

51:46

that person has a partner

51:48

or is in a

51:51

relationship I think it's still on them

51:53

as well on them as well. Yeah I agree they

51:55

should be on their guilty conscience. Yeah it's so weird

51:58

some people get off on cheating though like People

52:00

like that shit. Honestly,

52:03

I could think of one person who might. Who

52:08

we were just talking about. You get off on that show.

52:11

It's kind of weird. People have weird fetish. Yeah, that

52:13

is like kind of. Yeah, but we

52:15

don't want any. Yeah. You

52:17

know what, though, like moving on, though,

52:19

and like starting new relationships, like I'm

52:21

going to challenge you not to have

52:24

your walls up too much. Thank

52:26

you for challenging me that. But they're

52:28

still going to be up higher than ever.

52:31

They will be, but like you have to like,

52:34

I mean, I know this happened to you

52:36

and it's like you've been through this before.

52:39

There's not like this is the second time,

52:41

right? Yeah, the second time. Yeah. And

52:44

the first time someone physically fucked someone. But

52:47

you know, I won't. Oh, like

52:49

your last relationship that cheated with

52:51

like emotional cheating. It like, you

52:54

know, coming from experience, it's especially with somebody

52:56

that I thought I was going to marry

52:58

and like we were going to build this

53:01

life together six and a half years into

53:03

this relationship. And like someone telling me,

53:05

oh, my gosh, I like I've cheated. He

53:07

literally, now he literally sat me down because

53:09

I was fighting so hard for the relationship.

53:12

And he's like, P.P., I've been cheating on

53:14

you for the last, like our duration of

53:16

the relationship. It wasn't even

53:18

like a one time thing. It was like from

53:20

the beginning, I've been cheating on you. How? How did he

53:22

get away with that? I

53:25

mean, like he would like

53:27

hang out with friends, you know, like I'm going to go

53:29

hang out with my friend one time. Oh, my God. One

53:31

time I literally. OK, so I have

53:34

a dog, Pixel, my love of my

53:36

life when he was he

53:38

would like come stay with me when my parents go

53:40

to India and stuff like that. So I had Pixel

53:42

and I bought a pet cube. So

53:46

like when I'm at work or whatever, I can

53:48

like that camera. Yes. So I

53:50

can check on my dog. And one time, oh,

53:53

my God, I took Pixel and I

53:55

went back home, but I left the camera on

53:57

and purpose on purpose because I was like. something

54:00

is off and I checked

54:02

it constantly and he was lying to me

54:04

so hard. He literally told

54:06

me, he was like, oh, I'm just going to go

54:09

out with a couple of friends and I'll be home,

54:11

calls me at like 8pm. He was like, hey babe,

54:13

I'm home and I'm like, are you bitch?

54:15

I'm like looking at the camera. He was home

54:17

but he literally, he was home for

54:19

like 20 minutes and then left the entire night. I'm

54:22

telling you, I literally could not sleep that night. I was checking

54:24

it like every hour. I was like, is he home? Is

54:27

he home? Until 7 in the morning.

54:29

Oh, yep, that's it. That's done. 7

54:31

in the morning. But tell me

54:33

why this fucker, I literally, I called him at like

54:35

7.30am because I was literally

54:37

up tracking the whole time and he was

54:40

like, I was like, hey, like what are

54:42

you, what's up? Like, are you awake? And

54:44

he's like, oh yeah, like I'm just waking

54:46

up showering and I was like, this fucking

54:48

liar, he's so good at lying to me.

54:51

And I remember being like, I just have a feeling like

54:53

you haven't been home. Like are you sure? Like

54:55

I feel like you're lying to me. Like trying to bait him to

54:57

tell me the truth doesn't tell me at all.

55:00

And then he's like, you're being fucking crazy. Oh

55:03

my fucking crazy. That's

55:05

lighting me gaslighting me. And then he hangs

55:07

up on me, throws the phone and I'm

55:09

watching him on the camera and he goes

55:11

fucking bitch like at me. Like he said

55:13

that like towards me after he hung up

55:15

the phone. I was like, you are literally

55:17

living in my apartment rent free. I'm

55:19

paying for the our apartment and

55:21

you're literally you're cheating on me. Like it

55:24

was so wild, but you know what's so

55:26

fucked up is like I wanted that relationship

55:28

to work so hard. I literally he like

55:31

justified. He was like, oh, I was just

55:33

like gambling. Like I literally, I'm sorry, I lied

55:35

to you. I just didn't want to tell you that I was like

55:37

casino. And like, I believed

55:39

him. I mean, I would believe him too.

55:41

Yeah. Cause I was like,

55:43

you don't think, oh my gosh, he's cheating

55:45

on me. I was like, oh, he's gambling.

55:47

Thank fucking Lord. He's gambling. Yeah. And

55:50

like, let's take care of that. Yeah. Like

55:52

I'm here to support you through this like blah, blah, blah.

55:54

And I'm such an idiot that I like believed him. It's

55:57

so wild, dude. Like how much.

56:00

we also excuse

56:03

like red flags and toxic behavior and

56:05

we're like because we don't want to

56:07

feel uncomfortable and move and like Literally

56:10

again the universe makes such bad things happen

56:13

to you when you're on the wrong path

56:15

that you have to pivot and Like

56:18

this is the pivot point in your life. You

56:20

know now it really is And

56:23

you know what it only gets better It

56:26

only gets better when you know those toxic people out

56:28

of your life Like life

56:30

just shines and

56:32

like good you attract such

56:34

good things, you know Yeah, truly

56:37

I agree like the phone call you

56:39

had yesterday. I know I was like

56:41

I feel like I Don't

56:44

know I felt like I needed that phone call and it was

56:46

kind of like a okay like

56:49

you're good onto the next Thank

56:53

you, no But

56:55

yeah, what a wild couple of days

56:57

what a while but I can't wait

56:59

to watch love is mine season six

57:01

I know and excited Maybe

57:04

the drama will be just as good as

57:07

what I just went through and what we've

57:09

been through in life But I

57:11

hope you guys are excited to hear about our recap which

57:13

starts next week. Yes. Oh my gosh. It's gonna

57:15

be a ready for

57:17

the roller coaster of love Literally

57:19

we go. Yeah, but

57:22

hey if you guys have ever

57:24

been cheated on or Whatever

57:26

something let us know. We just

57:28

like love to hear your stories. We

57:31

always do But

57:33

you could always DM us at out of

57:35

the pot. Yes, and make sure you guys

57:37

leave a review and subscribe You