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CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

Released Saturday, 17th February 2024
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CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

CC: The Downside of Being "Strong"

Saturday, 17th February 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:02

Hi, everybody. Welcome to Coach's

0:05

Corner. So I've just

0:07

got a quickie for you today because it's

0:10

really been on my mind and it's been

0:12

coming up a lot. And I want to

0:15

talk to you about the difference between being

0:17

strong and enduring.

0:20

So in our society,

0:23

being strong is a

0:25

badge of honor. It's something we're

0:27

often praised for, especially after we've been

0:29

through a difficult time or difficult

0:32

circumstances. People are like, oh, you're so strong,

0:34

you're so strong. Oh my gosh, you're so

0:36

strong. And we praise ourselves for it. We

0:38

go through something difficult and we say, you

0:41

know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I'm

0:43

going to be stronger because of this. So we talk

0:45

about our trauma and we're like, oh, it's made me

0:47

stronger. And that is true.

0:49

But let's just actually dissect

0:53

what strong really means. So

0:55

going through difficult things does make

0:57

us stronger in the sense that

0:59

it makes us more resilient. And

1:03

resiliency is a very

1:05

healthy quality of being a human

1:07

being. Because with resiliency, we

1:09

learn how to problem solve. We learn

1:12

that we can be knocked

1:14

down and get back up. We

1:16

learn that we don't have to take

1:18

everything so personally. It's

1:21

much different from pushing

1:23

through something and enduring

1:25

something and then calling

1:27

ourselves strong because we've

1:30

actually just stuffed down

1:32

and suppressed the feelings.

1:35

So let's unpack this a little more. Most

1:37

of the time when people use

1:40

the word strong to describe themselves

1:42

or someone else, what they're

1:44

actually describing is someone who has

1:46

gotten to the other side

1:48

of something and it didn't kill them,

1:50

right? It's like made you stronger.

1:53

But what's really going on inside a

1:56

lot of the time is that

1:58

person has just survived. So

2:01

surviving alone

2:04

doesn't make us strong. That

2:06

means we endured something. And

2:09

in that enduring, we've probably ignored

2:11

a lot of the feelings that

2:13

were just too overwhelming to feel

2:15

or that we didn't have time

2:17

to feel because we were in

2:19

survival strategies. And often when there

2:22

is a big trauma or change in our life, we

2:24

have to be in survival first. But

2:26

if we don't then allow ourselves to

2:28

collapse, allow ourselves to go into vulnerability,

2:31

allow ourselves to feel all of them

2:33

that we couldn't feel because we had to be

2:35

strong and had to just look

2:37

through the day for ourselves, for our

2:39

family, for fill in the blank. If

2:41

we don't actually allow space to crumble,

2:43

to allow all those feelings to come

2:45

up, then what we've done is

2:48

we've just endured. And

2:50

enduring doesn't create true strength and

2:53

true resilience. Authenticity

2:56

does. Authenticity does. Being

2:58

willing to fall apart,

3:01

being willing to collapse, being willing

3:03

to allow space for all

3:05

those feelings that come up so we can actually heal.

3:08

So I just

3:10

want you to think about this and reflect

3:13

on it and feel into it in your

3:15

body. Are there things that

3:17

you've been quote unquote strong about

3:20

that really you've just endured? So

3:23

you're still, even though you've gotten to the other

3:25

side of the experience, you're still carrying the trauma.

3:28

You're still carrying the feelings.

3:30

You're still carrying the unprocessed emotions

3:33

and thoughts and feelings. And

3:35

that's a heavy load. And

3:38

so what I'm going to invite you to

3:40

do is to invite in

3:42

more vulnerability. First with yourself

3:44

and then with others. Let

3:46

go of the badge of honor of being so strong.

3:49

Realize that you've probably been enduring. Go

3:54

for true strength, which

3:56

isn't about just getting to the other side

3:58

of something. and isn't about

4:01

just surviving because the pattern I see

4:03

with people who do that and

4:05

are praised for being strong is

4:08

that inside they

4:10

feel anxiety, they

4:12

feel uncertainty, or they

4:14

even feel numbness or apathy because they've

4:16

had to switch off such a big

4:19

part of them in order to endure

4:21

what they've endured. And

4:23

sometimes endurance is the best choice because we don't have

4:25

the space, we don't have the skills, we don't have

4:27

the tools, we don't have the resources, we don't have

4:30

the right support to really

4:32

allow ourselves to go into true

4:34

vulnerability, collapse, and resilience. And

4:37

that's okay. Sometimes we need to be strong that way.

4:39

But eventually we need to

4:41

realize it, go back and go,

4:44

okay, I'm out of survival,

4:46

I have the resources and support, it's

4:48

time to stop enduring and

4:51

actually really be vulnerable

4:53

so I can find true strength.

4:57

So consider that this week. Consider it

4:59

right now. Where in

5:01

your life are you being strong? Or

5:04

where have you been strong? And

5:06

where can you lean in

5:09

to more vulnerability and honesty

5:12

with how you actually are feeling or

5:14

have felt in the past? Before

5:17

I sign off, I want to remind you

5:19

again that we are now enrolling for ReConnect,

5:22

our 10-week journey to reclaim your

5:24

inner child and experience the joy,

5:26

peace, and purpose that you crave

5:28

and deserve. We are so

5:30

excited about this course. We

5:33

had a bonus call that started this week,

5:35

but it's not too late to join. We

5:37

start officially February 29th, even if you're hearing

5:39

this after the 29th, you can still join

5:41

us. This is a live

5:43

container. There are no pre-recorded videos.

5:46

And you really get to be held in

5:48

a safe space that Steph and I will

5:50

create. And so if you relate to this

5:52

enduring pattern, and those of you

5:55

who know personality patterns, I'm not just talking

5:57

about those of you who do that personality

5:59

pattern all of us have endured at

6:01

times in our lives and qualities and strengths.

6:03

If you relate to that, the

6:05

ReConnect workshop will so help because we'll teach

6:07

you how to, well first of all we

6:10

can create a container and the resource and

6:12

the support for you to feel safe enough

6:14

to allow for that vulnerability, to allow for

6:16

that collapse. And we'll give

6:18

you the tools to navigate it. So

6:21

that link is christinehauser.com/reconnect.

6:23

I also want to thank my sponsor for

6:25

this episode. They always make me feel good

6:27

and they keep me strong on the physical

6:30

level. And that is Organifi.

6:32

I have been loving the red

6:34

juice and green juice, especially in this time of

6:37

cold and flu season and the Organifi immunity.

6:39

It's really helped me feel like I'm keeping

6:41

my immune system up, keeping my energy levels

6:44

up and just doing good stuff for my

6:46

body. So remember, you can always get 20%

6:49

off any Organifi product at

6:51

organifi.com/over it or use

6:54

promo code over at

6:56

the checkout. That's organifi.com.

6:59

All right everybody, that is Soul Coaches

7:02

Corner for today. If you have any

7:04

suggestions for quickie episodes you would like,

7:06

hit me up on Instagram. Always love

7:08

to deliver information that you're craving.

7:11

I'm sending you so much love and many blessings. Until next

7:13

time.

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