Episode Transcript
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0:02
Hi, everybody. Welcome to Coach's
0:05
Corner. So I've just
0:07
got a quickie for you today because it's
0:10
really been on my mind and it's been
0:12
coming up a lot. And I want to
0:15
talk to you about the difference between being
0:17
strong and enduring.
0:20
So in our society,
0:23
being strong is a
0:25
badge of honor. It's something we're
0:27
often praised for, especially after we've been
0:29
through a difficult time or difficult
0:32
circumstances. People are like, oh, you're so strong,
0:34
you're so strong. Oh my gosh, you're so
0:36
strong. And we praise ourselves for it. We
0:38
go through something difficult and we say, you
0:41
know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I'm
0:43
going to be stronger because of this. So we talk
0:45
about our trauma and we're like, oh, it's made me
0:47
stronger. And that is true.
0:49
But let's just actually dissect
0:53
what strong really means. So
0:55
going through difficult things does make
0:57
us stronger in the sense that
0:59
it makes us more resilient. And
1:03
resiliency is a very
1:05
healthy quality of being a human
1:07
being. Because with resiliency, we
1:09
learn how to problem solve. We learn
1:12
that we can be knocked
1:14
down and get back up. We
1:16
learn that we don't have to take
1:18
everything so personally. It's
1:21
much different from pushing
1:23
through something and enduring
1:25
something and then calling
1:27
ourselves strong because we've
1:30
actually just stuffed down
1:32
and suppressed the feelings.
1:35
So let's unpack this a little more. Most
1:37
of the time when people use
1:40
the word strong to describe themselves
1:42
or someone else, what they're
1:44
actually describing is someone who has
1:46
gotten to the other side
1:48
of something and it didn't kill them,
1:50
right? It's like made you stronger.
1:53
But what's really going on inside a
1:56
lot of the time is that
1:58
person has just survived. So
2:01
surviving alone
2:04
doesn't make us strong. That
2:06
means we endured something. And
2:09
in that enduring, we've probably ignored
2:11
a lot of the feelings that
2:13
were just too overwhelming to feel
2:15
or that we didn't have time
2:17
to feel because we were in
2:19
survival strategies. And often when there
2:22
is a big trauma or change in our life, we
2:24
have to be in survival first. But
2:26
if we don't then allow ourselves to
2:28
collapse, allow ourselves to go into vulnerability,
2:31
allow ourselves to feel all of them
2:33
that we couldn't feel because we had to be
2:35
strong and had to just look
2:37
through the day for ourselves, for our
2:39
family, for fill in the blank. If
2:41
we don't actually allow space to crumble,
2:43
to allow all those feelings to come
2:45
up, then what we've done is
2:48
we've just endured. And
2:50
enduring doesn't create true strength and
2:53
true resilience. Authenticity
2:56
does. Authenticity does. Being
2:58
willing to fall apart,
3:01
being willing to collapse, being willing
3:03
to allow space for all
3:05
those feelings that come up so we can actually heal.
3:08
So I just
3:10
want you to think about this and reflect
3:13
on it and feel into it in your
3:15
body. Are there things that
3:17
you've been quote unquote strong about
3:20
that really you've just endured? So
3:23
you're still, even though you've gotten to the other
3:25
side of the experience, you're still carrying the trauma.
3:28
You're still carrying the feelings.
3:30
You're still carrying the unprocessed emotions
3:33
and thoughts and feelings. And
3:35
that's a heavy load. And
3:38
so what I'm going to invite you to
3:40
do is to invite in
3:42
more vulnerability. First with yourself
3:44
and then with others. Let
3:46
go of the badge of honor of being so strong.
3:49
Realize that you've probably been enduring. Go
3:54
for true strength, which
3:56
isn't about just getting to the other side
3:58
of something. and isn't about
4:01
just surviving because the pattern I see
4:03
with people who do that and
4:05
are praised for being strong is
4:08
that inside they
4:10
feel anxiety, they
4:12
feel uncertainty, or they
4:14
even feel numbness or apathy because they've
4:16
had to switch off such a big
4:19
part of them in order to endure
4:21
what they've endured. And
4:23
sometimes endurance is the best choice because we don't have
4:25
the space, we don't have the skills, we don't have
4:27
the tools, we don't have the resources, we don't have
4:30
the right support to really
4:32
allow ourselves to go into true
4:34
vulnerability, collapse, and resilience. And
4:37
that's okay. Sometimes we need to be strong that way.
4:39
But eventually we need to
4:41
realize it, go back and go,
4:44
okay, I'm out of survival,
4:46
I have the resources and support, it's
4:48
time to stop enduring and
4:51
actually really be vulnerable
4:53
so I can find true strength.
4:57
So consider that this week. Consider it
4:59
right now. Where in
5:01
your life are you being strong? Or
5:04
where have you been strong? And
5:06
where can you lean in
5:09
to more vulnerability and honesty
5:12
with how you actually are feeling or
5:14
have felt in the past? Before
5:17
I sign off, I want to remind you
5:19
again that we are now enrolling for ReConnect,
5:22
our 10-week journey to reclaim your
5:24
inner child and experience the joy,
5:26
peace, and purpose that you crave
5:28
and deserve. We are so
5:30
excited about this course. We
5:33
had a bonus call that started this week,
5:35
but it's not too late to join. We
5:37
start officially February 29th, even if you're hearing
5:39
this after the 29th, you can still join
5:41
us. This is a live
5:43
container. There are no pre-recorded videos.
5:46
And you really get to be held in
5:48
a safe space that Steph and I will
5:50
create. And so if you relate to this
5:52
enduring pattern, and those of you
5:55
who know personality patterns, I'm not just talking
5:57
about those of you who do that personality
5:59
pattern all of us have endured at
6:01
times in our lives and qualities and strengths.
6:03
If you relate to that, the
6:05
ReConnect workshop will so help because we'll teach
6:07
you how to, well first of all we
6:10
can create a container and the resource and
6:12
the support for you to feel safe enough
6:14
to allow for that vulnerability, to allow for
6:16
that collapse. And we'll give
6:18
you the tools to navigate it. So
6:21
that link is christinehauser.com/reconnect.
6:23
I also want to thank my sponsor for
6:25
this episode. They always make me feel good
6:27
and they keep me strong on the physical
6:30
level. And that is Organifi.
6:32
I have been loving the red
6:34
juice and green juice, especially in this time of
6:37
cold and flu season and the Organifi immunity.
6:39
It's really helped me feel like I'm keeping
6:41
my immune system up, keeping my energy levels
6:44
up and just doing good stuff for my
6:46
body. So remember, you can always get 20%
6:49
off any Organifi product at
6:51
organifi.com/over it or use
6:54
promo code over at
6:56
the checkout. That's organifi.com.
6:59
All right everybody, that is Soul Coaches
7:02
Corner for today. If you have any
7:04
suggestions for quickie episodes you would like,
7:06
hit me up on Instagram. Always love
7:08
to deliver information that you're craving.
7:11
I'm sending you so much love and many blessings. Until next
7:13
time.
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