0:00

The holidays start here at Kroger with

0:02

a variety of options to celebrate traditions

0:04

old and new. You could do a

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classic herb roasted turkey or spice it

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a go-to shrimp cocktail or use Simple

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Truth wild caught shrimp for your first

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Cajun risotto. Make creamy mac and cheese

0:18

or a spinach artichoke fondue from our

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selection of Murray's cheese. No matter how

0:23

you shop, Kroger has all the freshest

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ingredients to embrace all your holiday traditions.

0:28

Kroger, fresh for everyone. Hello,

0:30

I'm Wheels, the dungeon master for Storybreakers. Love

0:32

critical role in movies like Hot Fuzz and

0:35

Spotlight? Actual play series Storybreakers

0:37

combines the fantasy adventure of Dungeons and

0:39

Dragons with small-town comedy and mystery in

0:41

an episodic tale of journalists on the

0:44

hunt for the secret underbelly of a

0:46

tiny town where nothing seems to happen.

0:48

But excuse me if I don't think

0:50

a bunch of ragtag journalists from a

0:53

pulled-up town are actually gonna be of any

0:55

help. But technically I don't come from

0:57

here. When the mysterious arrival of a

0:59

celebrity from the Heroes in Adventurers Guild sets

1:01

off a strange conspiracy, the group will have

1:03

to leave what they think they know about

1:05

the world at the door, if they're ever

1:08

to unravel the truth at the heart of

1:10

this seemingly nondescript town. It's not front page

1:12

of the Sarsai Star-Noom. I pulled up

1:14

the today's installment of the news to

1:16

see what the front page actually is.

1:18

There's a big picture of a pumpkin

1:21

that's been stepped on. And it says,

1:23

Outrage as Pumpkin Stepped On. Storybreakers

1:26

season one in its entirety is available

1:28

for listening right now wherever you get

1:30

your podcasts. With season two on the

1:32

way. Find out more at dicebreaker.com. Hello

1:36

and welcome friends to the OxVenture D&D

1:38

podcast. It is a Dungeons and Dragons

1:40

podcast that sometimes has other tabletop role-playing

1:43

games in it. I'm your host, Jane.

1:45

And here's your other host, Luke Westerway.

1:47

Hello. Hi Jane. Thanks for having me. What a pleasure.

1:50

What a treat to be back. It's been a little

1:53

while. It's been a minute since we last had an

1:55

OxVenture D&D podcast. It has been a particularly

1:59

busy time. here at um,

2:01

Oxford Venture Towers is what

2:03

I call our collected

2:05

bedrooms where we get that

2:07

from. I like it! No no no, Oxford Venture Towers

2:09

sounds a lot better. Yeah. Makes

2:11

me think that I've got like a tumbler of

2:13

whiskey and I'm staring out over the skyline.

2:17

That's a dream. They look like

2:19

ants from up here, don't they Jane? Oh

2:21

wait, that's ants Luke. Oh

2:23

my god! Ants

2:25

got in! Oh no! I think

2:28

I shouldn't have left all this whiskey everywhere

2:30

and they're drunk. Oh they

2:32

love it! They're gonna sell it! Thanks

2:35

for your patience and thanks for

2:37

rejoining us here after several weeks.

2:39

We're back with a special festive

2:42

episode of the Oxford Venture D&D

2:44

podcast. Yay! Isn't that right Luke? That's right and

2:46

it's Blades in the Dark. It's the Christmas special that we

2:48

did of Blades in the Dark and

2:51

I think like all the

2:53

best Christmas specials in history

2:55

this one is a total

2:58

tonal and narrative departure from all the

3:00

other Blades in the Dark that we

3:02

ever did do. It's the only Blades

3:04

in the Dark we ever filmed in

3:06

person, ever. We filmed

3:08

it at a loading bar in

3:10

London. It features me and Andy

3:12

and Ellen. Yeah. I'm looking

3:15

at you now on youtube.com/Oxford Venture is

3:18

where you can see the original video

3:20

version of this podcast and you all

3:22

look so lovely. You look very

3:24

smart. I have to dress up.

3:27

Normally you don't have to bother.

3:29

Andy's wearing a sort of floral jacket.

3:31

You're wearing a very smart button-up black

3:33

shirt and Ellen's wearing a very goth

3:35

looking hoodie with lots of zips. I

3:37

find it very hard to know what

3:39

to wear when I'm GM-ing. I've

3:42

had this a few times. My

3:44

main thing is I just want to be as

3:46

unobtrusive as possible. I don't want to wear a

3:48

loud shirt. I don't wear anything like bright colours.

3:50

So I normally go for like a black t-shirt.

3:52

Like I'm a sort of stagehand in an off-road

3:55

way production. You should be

3:57

wearing a black visor as well. Yeah yeah. completely

4:00

disappear. Let me let me

4:02

just don't pay no attention, pay me no mind. Yeah.

4:05

Let me disappear. It's either that or a series

4:07

of funny hats won for each NPC. Yeah,

4:09

well I'm not doing that. We

4:11

haven't got the budget for the hat like that. No, no, no, no, no.

4:13

I have budget, I have hat money. Oh.

4:18

The episode is called A

4:20

Crimsonite Carol. Yes. Yes,

4:22

that's right. It's, uh, which is

4:24

because I wanted to borrow something

4:26

from the Dungeons and Dragons law.

4:29

You will remember that our

4:31

Blades in the Dark campaign is set

4:33

in the world of

4:35

Geth from OxVenture D&D, but centuries in

4:37

the future. Uh, from there,

4:40

so like centuries hence. Um, so I

4:42

wanted to borrow like a festival from the law.

4:44

So as I explain it in the episode you're

4:46

about to hear, uh, in

4:48

the eve of Crimsonite, the beloved winter holiday

4:51

that long ago unified the traditions of all

4:53

Crimsonite and Winter Solstice. So all Crimsonite was

4:55

a kind of in D&D when

4:57

Johnny ran a game, it was a sort

4:59

of purge night thing where you could attack

5:01

a castle or something like that. Yes.

5:03

It was all Crimson, all criminals were

5:06

invited to sort of a sale of

5:08

fortress and steal whatever they could.

5:10

That was the origin of all

5:13

Crimsonites. And you're saying there was

5:15

a sort of combination emerging of festivals over the

5:17

centuries. Yeah, over the centuries. And you

5:19

know, the reason that that happened in

5:21

Geth over the centuries was because I

5:24

had to run a Christmas-y campaign and

5:26

I wanted it to be like a

5:28

Christmas carol. Uh, and I like

5:30

the law is your playground. Yeah. It's a time

5:32

when thievery

5:36

is all but legal. So families traditionally

5:38

would gather together in one household, board

5:40

up the windows, block the chimney and

5:42

spend the day giving and receiving gifts.

5:44

I think that sounds like a nice

5:46

festival. Yeah. With a sort

5:48

of criminal edge that suits the

5:51

Blades in the Dark. Exactly. So

5:53

yeah, this episode is really, really

5:56

goofy. It's

5:58

yeah, it's like a sort of Christmas. Carol

6:00

parody that I mean we got

6:03

we got very very silly with it and

6:05

I had a brilliant time Playing

6:07

the character of well

6:09

the Scrooge stand-in who is called I

6:12

think it's Evan

6:15

the Giza screws Very

6:18

good. Very good. That's that's blended Dickens would

6:20

be proud. Yeah, I think Dickens would be

6:22

proud of what I've done I

6:25

mean, I think that every time I put Yeah,

6:28

yeah very much so and you know, that's

6:30

the legal argument I'll be making to the

6:32

Dickens estate Hey, this

6:34

is public domain surely. Oh what?

6:39

me there You

6:41

like never mind, although that is reassuring to learn

6:44

as I look through these notes and realize quite

6:46

how much I ripped off There

6:49

can be as many Dickens Christmas

6:52

Carol covers. Yeah, you're quite

6:55

right. You're quite right Legal

6:57

surely, but yeah in writing this I

6:59

think I realized why a Christmas Carol

7:01

get gets adapted so much It has

7:03

a very crazy narrative flow because there

7:05

are three ghosts and you know good

7:07

stories And

7:11

it involves like a little bit of sort

7:13

of magical time travel that we all accept

7:16

a bit like from the first ghost So

7:19

yeah I was I thought long and

7:21

hard about who should have a little time travel bit and

7:23

I thought I thought little boy Edvard

7:26

Like a little jaunt back to Edvard's

7:28

childhood would be really would be really

7:31

pleasant and really sweet So

7:33

yeah, it's got let's go. It's got time travel It's

7:37

good. It's got the lot and you know, it's so

7:39

funny and I the the ending the way that this

7:41

episode ends Still picks me up

7:43

to this day So

7:45

yeah I Tantalize

7:56

Probably can't even stand up you say tantalized convulsing

8:00

heap on the floor so tantalise don't you?

8:02

Well that's the perfect posture to enjoy this

8:05

Oxford D&D podcast so please get your earbuds

8:07

in securely and enjoy this episode and we

8:10

will see you on the other side to

8:12

talk a little more about A Crims Like

8:14

Carol. Hello

8:16

everyone and welcome to your Oxford D&D

8:18

Presents Blades in the Dark. I'm Luke,

8:20

I'm the GM and on this very

8:22

festive Ho Ho Ho episode Blades in

8:24

the Dark, who is on my best.

8:27

I am Edvard Lumiere, the famous inventor

8:29

and I am responsible for many of

8:31

your favourite inventions and some new ones

8:33

you've never even heard of. For example,

8:35

this pen seems ordinary doesn't it? Actually,

8:37

ha, ha. Contains

8:40

slow-acting poisons. I

8:42

knew doing this in person

8:44

was a terrible idea. You

8:47

may think that this fellow is done

8:49

for but in fact I have the

8:51

Antidote 10. Is it also sharp and

8:53

foisty? Oh no.

8:56

How long should poison take to work? Is it over two

8:58

hours? It's over two hours, I think we'll be okay. We'll

9:00

be fine then. I'll

9:02

fetch him from wherever I

9:04

left it later. It'll be

9:07

fine. And on my right... I am Lillisca

9:09

Palanaga and I can talk to you guys so

9:11

if anything does happen to you I can at

9:13

least ask you how you are once you go.

9:16

Yeah that's true and if there's anything I would

9:18

want to do with my last two hours on

9:20

Earth, play Blade in the

9:22

Dark, we do find both for the first

9:24

time in person. Okay

9:27

well, let's drop it on the way here

9:29

somewhere. We

9:31

begin in Eleanor's townhouse in

9:33

Brightstone. Several months have passed

9:35

since the last time, since

9:38

the last time your characters went on

9:41

an adventure in Escrowade. That's how we're kind

9:43

of picking up a few months later. So

9:45

you've been sort of living in Eleanor's in

9:47

Brightstone for a little while. Snow

9:50

is gently falling on Volesport

9:52

out of the window. It is the

9:55

eve of Crimsonite, the beloved winter holiday

9:57

that long ago unified the fond traditions

9:59

of all creme tonight and winter

10:01

solstice. It's a time for family, for

10:03

feasting, for presents and a day when

10:05

fever is all but legal so families

10:08

traditionally would gather together in one household,

10:10

bored up the windows, blocked the chimney

10:12

and spend the day giving and receiving

10:14

gifts, eating, drinking, making merry and keeping

10:16

watch. Mmmhmm. Repelling

10:19

invaders. And repelling a

10:21

near constant stream of

10:23

would-be cat food. I remember it well.

10:25

Fun times with the family. Yep. I

10:28

used to be stationed on the roof with a baseball bat.

10:32

Remember when Dad dragged that one in through

10:34

the skylight? Yeah, oh wonderful memory. But it

10:36

used to run up a little cup of

10:38

hot cocoa for me. Yep. I

10:40

used to enjoy that while I would brain any robbers

10:42

coming up the other way. I

10:44

know, on creme tonight we don't brain the thieves.

10:46

We defend the house from them but we forgive

10:49

them, as is tradition. All

10:52

other members of the gang have

10:55

places to be on creme tonight

10:57

it seems. And Edvard and

11:00

Lilith. Well I can't leave my research. You

11:02

can't leave your research. I think this wonderful mechanical man Mark

11:04

II would have come to life at this stage. Well,

11:09

it would be disastrous. I don't need to tell you what would

11:11

happen. You wouldn't be held responsible

11:13

for the consequence, Brad. Well we,

11:16

I don't have to go back for a little

11:18

while because we do all creme tonight a little

11:20

bit differently in that we celebrate

11:22

it 12 days later because we

11:24

celebrate the creme bringing all

11:26

of the things that they have stolen back

11:29

to their own homes. They sometimes have

11:31

to travel quite fast of course. Yes,

11:33

of course. Yeah, that's exactly right. Eleanor

11:35

meanwhile is in an attic room deep

11:38

in her lonely studies. You

11:41

are the three folks with nowhere else to be

11:43

on creme tonight. What a loser I say, returning

11:45

to my lonely studies. Programming

11:48

the wonderful mechanical man for love. I'm

11:51

making some calculations

11:54

here. Pardon me, there

11:56

is a knock at the door. busy

12:01

fine okay I go to the door

12:03

sure then if you cautiously open the

12:05

door because most thieves on all on

12:07

on on creams night would not be

12:09

so bold as to go up front

12:11

door but you never know it could

12:13

be a double yeah yeah the front

12:15

door is well it is a criminal

12:17

but it doesn't appear to be a

12:30

thief you recognize bad so

12:32

bad Lilith you remember he's

12:34

the leader of the lamplacks you

12:37

were present at his daughter's wedding hello

12:42

Lilith exactly who I was

12:44

hoping to see hi how's

12:46

everything maybe to send the

12:48

killbot no no no we're fine we're

12:50

fine it's a friend how

12:52

are you moving though is the thing could

12:54

you could you unplug him what's that planking

12:56

I hear on the stem hang on hang

12:58

on you hear a planking and a something

13:05

in the sound of a hammer on metal

13:07

yeah a bit of a

13:09

favor to ask you I need

13:19

a favor from someone spooky my

13:22

second in command pick it I think you are well

13:25

acquainted with them yes well she recommended

13:27

you for an urgent job that I

13:30

need assistance with

13:34

I'll put it plainly to you that uh we're a bit

13:37

of a pickle yeah the lamplacks chief

13:39

benefactor a rich money lender

13:41

and landlord and he

13:44

needs some urgent help and we are inclined

13:46

to offer it to him being as he

13:49

is as I say our chief

13:51

benefactor you understand what

13:53

I'm saying you understand that money talks Keep

14:00

it down down there. Try

14:02

and do science. What's that clanking I hear

14:05

on the skin? Oh god he's got it. You

14:08

hear more mallet on hammer sounds. Let

14:11

me tell you about this fellow who, um, one

14:15

of my colleagues, a long acquaintance of mine.

14:18

Well on the street he's known just as

14:20

The Geezer, but his

14:22

actual name is Mr Evan

14:24

Screws. Okay. Mr

14:28

Screws. Yeah,

14:30

because he was a little girl. He

14:33

has what he describes as an urgent

14:35

ghost problem. Yeah. And,

14:38

well, when I was casting around for names, obviously

14:40

not many people free on, uh, Crimson

14:42

Knight, but Pickett suggested that you might be someone

14:44

with nowhere else to be and that

14:46

you were quite good at the old, uh, spookiness.

14:50

Yes, yes, I am known to commune

14:52

with ghosts. Yes. Yeah, that's, that's, that's

14:54

all I think. Can I give you the

14:56

address? Yeah, sure. He's offered, uh, quite a lot

14:59

of coin if, uh, if you will help

15:01

him. Okay. Alright, yeah, no, sure, like

15:03

let me know. Give him those details. Right,

15:05

well, I've got to go. Uh, got to

15:07

get back to the family. Yes, uh, have fun. Don't

15:10

get robbed. I'll tell you, a few of them

15:13

did try on the way. You noted at this

15:15

point that his hands are covered in blood. He,

15:20

he, he reached into his pocket and part of the viewer now

15:22

bloodied a sort of map on a piece of

15:24

paper. Um, it points,

15:26

it points to a house in

15:29

another upmarket part of Broxton. Okay.

15:37

We brought half, two,

15:41

three, two, so fancy, and then get rid of the guys. Crimson

15:45

Eve. Yeah, but what are you doing there? Are you really?

15:47

I'm going to have some cocoa and brain some robbers at

15:49

the tradition. I mean, well, look, I think the

15:51

house is going to be fine. Uh,

15:54

why don't you pop that robot on the roof? No, like, you know, no

15:56

one will get in with that thing. I'm

15:58

trying to program it to go down. on

16:00

criminal chimneys and kill them

16:02

as a sort of preemptive measure. I

16:04

think that's making

16:06

it a crim and then wouldn't it

16:08

then have to self-destruct? Um,

16:11

what, is this a logical paradox?

16:15

The machine starts to self-destruct.

16:17

Oh, bloody hell, Lillith! What

16:20

have I said about introducing logical paradoxes?

16:23

Fine, alright. Is there at least

16:25

some money in it? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot

16:27

of money in it. So that'll help towards

16:30

our work with Eleanor, surely. And running a

16:32

bit low, all these robots keep self-destructing. Yeah,

16:34

you have been burning through the coin a little bit. Alright,

16:38

fine, where are we going? We're heading

16:40

over to Evan De Geeser Scrooge's house. Oh,

16:43

Evan Deeser Scrooge. Yeah. Sorry, Scrooge. Yeah.

16:45

I know, I didn't say that one. Yeah.

16:49

Okay. A

16:52

lot of people make that mistake. Yes.

16:54

Says Mr. Scrooge as he welcomes you

16:56

into his austere townhouse. That was fast

16:58

travel through Geiernäs. Ah, my teleporter works.

17:01

Yay! The

17:04

house that you just entered is a

17:07

sort of tall, imposing

17:09

home. Inside it is

17:12

freezing cold. And

17:14

Mr. Scrooge leads

17:16

you up to his bedroom, which has a

17:18

tiny fire with just one lump of coal

17:21

burning in the fireplace. Scrooge, old

17:23

man, what's the deal? Why

17:25

is it so cold in here? It's freezing. Why,

17:27

you think I have the money to

17:29

be paying for wax candles? I don't think so.

17:32

Not in this market. Fabulous townhouse. You can afford

17:34

one more than one piece of coal. A fool

17:36

and his money are soon parted. And I say

17:38

anyone who can't make do with a bit of

17:40

cheese and bread, a tallow candle and a lump

17:42

of coal is a fool, sir. You

17:45

said this was going to get paid for this,

17:47

right? Yeah, I'm going to check. Return

17:52

for our work of helping you with this ghost

17:55

problem that you seem to have. What is the...

17:58

We were told that there would be a... A

18:00

rich payment and

18:02

er... We're talking remuneration.

18:04

Yes and... Yes, yes I

18:07

see. Everyone has their hands in Mr.

18:09

Scrooge's pocket I see. Well, it's

18:11

not so much that. It's the fact that

18:13

you put your hand in your own pocket

18:15

and said you were going to give us

18:17

some. Do the job correctly and I

18:19

shall reward you with... Five

18:23

coin. Five? That's a

18:25

lot. Okay. That's

18:27

a lot. That's not a five coin. Yeah. Alright,

18:32

alright, alright. Alright. But

18:34

not on any till the job is done. Alright,

18:37

okay. Well what seems to be the problem?

18:40

Have a sit down. Make yourselves comfortable.

18:42

Well I don't think I can. It's too

18:44

cold. It is too cold. There are also

18:46

no seats. I

18:48

sit on the floor. Chair's too expensive are they old

18:50

man? A

18:52

fool and his money. I've been falcing

18:55

Mr. Edbard I always say and a fool would sit on

18:57

a chair. I'd

18:59

see. I'd produce a

19:01

shooting stick from my

19:03

pocket. It's a telescopic thing with a seat that I'm coming. As

19:06

you see, as you see, when denied people will

19:08

make ends meet. I

19:10

tell the same to my tenants. But

19:13

all they whine, all they cry, all they do

19:15

in the end... I see. ...will end

19:17

up in the poor ass. Screws

19:19

start sort of pacing back and forth

19:21

the room. He's a tall,

19:24

hunched gentleman with gaunt cheeks and

19:26

a pointed nose. And when he's

19:29

finished ranting about the poor, which

19:32

does take quite some time, he eventually

19:34

works around to the point. Earlier

19:37

tonight, an apparition,

19:40

apparitioned to me. It

19:43

was the ghost of my departed business

19:45

partner, Jacob Merlin. Okay.

19:49

The ghost warned me that I would

19:51

be visited tonight by three spirits, who

19:54

would urge me to mend my

19:56

wicked ways, banging on about charity,

19:58

forgiveness, the truth. meaning a

20:00

cream's night well, Edvard, Miss

20:02

Lilith, I find my wicked ways

20:05

quite agreeable. Exercise, banish,

20:07

or otherwise destroy these spirits when

20:09

they appear, and I will make

20:11

you rich. Do we have an

20:13

accord? I mean are you sure you

20:15

don't want to maybe listen to the ghost? Maybe

20:18

have you had a moment of growth and

20:20

you know a story that could you know

20:22

live for hundreds of years

20:24

nearly now? Hm, long enough that it would

20:26

be out of copyright. Yeah! You

20:29

know maybe one day your story

20:32

will be told through

20:34

the wonderful

20:36

art known as puppetry. Puppetry?

20:40

A fool and his money would

20:42

sit and watch a puppet show?

20:44

Puppets! Puppets! What are

20:46

we? Babies! It's a gigalotta

20:49

puppet. I don't think so.

20:51

No, no. I've no interest in anyone else

20:53

telling my story. I wish everyone would leave

20:55

me alone. Bankly, the sooner you can get

20:57

this business done and be out of my

20:59

hair and me out of yours, the better,

21:02

I say. And

21:04

a humbug to crimsonite. At this point, you notice

21:06

at the window that a cat burglar has lifted

21:08

one of the windows and

21:17

has just sneaked his way in but

21:19

Edvard spots it, swings round with his

21:21

cane and just starts beating the poor

21:24

man about the head. This is not

21:26

in the spirit of Crimson. You're supposed

21:28

to tell them off and

21:31

maybe you know you don't and then they

21:33

go, oh Crimsonite. And

21:37

off they scamper but Mr. Scrooge is really

21:39

laying into. You just brain them in a

21:41

sort of fun way. Exactly. You're supposed to

21:43

be. You kinda go, sponk, ha ha go

21:45

away. There's something not quite the thing about

21:47

the way that Mr. Scrooge is braining

21:50

this speech. It's a lot of rage. Pint

21:52

up rage. I think we can have another

21:54

ghost to deal with in a minute. Mr.

21:56

Scrooge gives the now unconscious form of the

21:58

FIFA kick. And he flops out.

22:01

You're on your, quite a few stories up. Oh no! And then

22:03

he's acting fainty and you hear a kind of crump in the

22:05

snow. Wow. And then he goes, ugh.

22:08

A fool and his money would come in through our window. Well,

22:13

it sounds like we have our assignment. So

22:16

where has this apparition been apparating to you?

22:18

Yeah. Right here. Right here is

22:20

our slept. Bed as soon as

22:22

it became dark. You have a bed? Yeah. I

22:25

see. Very profligative. Well. A

22:27

fool and his money has been bought.

22:30

I'm delighted I think. I

22:32

think there's something in what you say Mr Enlarge. Can

22:34

you think of a more economical way to sleep on

22:37

the floor? I

22:39

will give it thought. He really will.

22:41

He's got the sign. He

22:43

looks at his dingy single cot. He's

22:50

looking at it a little as sconce. You think maybe

22:52

later it's going to go out the window and crush

22:54

the thief. Well Mr Screws, if

22:57

you want to just go about your normal routine,

22:59

go to bed and Lilith and

23:01

I will stand guard for this apparition.

23:04

Mr Screws takes off his long black coats

23:06

to reveal he's already in his night clothes.

23:10

A fool and his money. A fool

23:12

and his money. How to clothes is

23:14

all a body needs. How to clothes

23:16

will do very well for Mr Screws

23:18

and very well for any sensible man.

23:20

Crimsonite or no, crimsonite is muttering. He

23:25

pulls a thin bit

23:27

of gauze that passes through a sheet

23:29

over him and lies there and eventually

23:31

falls asleep muttering. You're

23:34

waiting in the room. Okay.

23:37

Where's the money? Where's he keeping it? I

23:40

have it. Does that mean we could do it? Yeah. Can

23:42

I look around and see if it's like... Yeah, why not? Why not?

23:45

He's not a nice man. Let's see. Maybe

23:47

he's not a nice man. I'm not a nice man. I'm not

23:49

a nice man. I'm not a nice man. I'm not a nice

23:51

man. I'm not a nice man. Let's see.

23:55

What kind of role do you imagine this

23:57

is? Study. It's

24:00

going to be tricky, it's going to be

24:02

easier, we'll have to roll pretty well. Why

24:05

don't we do this as a joint thing, I'm

24:07

trying to remember how Blake the Dark works. Why

24:11

don't you do whoever wants to take the lead, why

24:13

doesn't someone take one stress and give them an extra

24:15

die rather than you both roll? I'll

24:17

give you a new roll, so I'll take the

24:19

rest. So two. Four

24:22

and a two. A four

24:25

and a two, but the four is a

24:27

success with the complication. Yeah,

24:31

as you sort of pace

24:34

around the room, you're

24:36

trying to find where the money is. You

24:38

find a single

24:41

picture on the wall. It's just the frame,

24:43

it's still got, it doesn't have anything in

24:45

it, it's still the kind of a, it's

24:47

a kind of stock picture of like

24:50

a dog. At first you think,

24:52

ah, so Scrooge does have a human side,

24:54

look upon this for this hat, but in

24:56

fact it's just, it's a stock image of

24:58

a dog. It's still got like, the painting

25:00

still has the copyright in the corner. Exactly.

25:03

That's down from the fanatory. You recognise it from Mr

25:05

Getty's rape shop. Yes. It's

25:07

been brought to life across the country. And

25:11

as you look a little bit closer, you see that although

25:14

everything in this room has come to dust, there's one corner

25:16

of the picture that appears to be a little worn off

25:18

and as you touch it, it goes, like

25:22

that and swings open to reveal

25:24

a safe, although it

25:26

is, you know,

25:29

it's not, the safe has not opened. Right, right,

25:31

right, right. Revealed the safe behind you however, you

25:33

do hear a creak and a, what are you about,

25:35

Mr Redfod? Oh, just

25:37

killing time. I thought this was a rather nice picture

25:39

of a dog. Why would

25:41

you think it's such a nice picture of a dog? I happen

25:43

to like dogs. Oh, I see,

25:45

animal lover are we? The

25:48

company of your fellow man not good enough for you,

25:50

Mr Edvold. I like people and dogs. You can like

25:52

two things. You laugh

25:54

at the truth, that's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen. A

25:58

dog never put a pound on you. in my pocket

26:01

Mr Edvard. Now you put a

26:03

dog in a pound I bet

26:05

I say turning it back on him expertly.

26:09

If they would pay me for the dog. Well

26:11

go back to sleep or this ghost is not going to

26:13

show up. This ghost won't derive if you're not asleep. I

26:16

know these things he's right. I

26:19

got my eye on you Mr Edvard

26:21

he says and as he says this

26:23

the clock in the corner a

26:26

dusty grandfather clock begins to

26:28

toll and it tolls 12 which you all

26:30

think is weird because it was 2 a.m.

26:33

just a moment ago. And

26:38

there is that you all fit this

26:40

freezing room gets even colder and

26:43

a darkness seems

26:45

to fall and then the

26:47

door to the room begins to

26:49

glow with an ethereal light and

26:52

emerging through it comes

26:55

a peculiar form it looks like a child

26:58

but if you look closely you

27:00

think could that be a child

27:03

it almost it seems to have

27:05

the features of an old man

27:07

how bizarre and unsettling and

27:09

it sort of moves mercurially into

27:12

the room it doesn't pay you any mind

27:14

Edvard and Lelith it goes up to

27:17

the foot of the bed and

27:19

goes Evan De Gea's

27:21

a Scrooge I

27:23

am the ghost of Crimsonite

27:25

past the first of the three

27:27

spirits sent to help you mend

27:30

your ways and bring you into

27:33

the light and brotherhood of which

27:35

point Mr. Scrooge goes this is the one I

27:38

told you about Adam! Let's

27:42

just confer

27:45

Lelith I think that we should make him

27:47

change his ways and then he'll become generous

27:49

and give us more coins yeah I'm wondering

27:51

that as well I just think it's

27:54

nicer anyway I think he's sad

27:56

yeah and also it would be

27:58

more crimson yeah Nice

28:00

yeah Okay,

28:15

mr. Screws Yeah,

28:18

that's the best way to defeat a ghost we

28:20

have found Is to study

28:22

it and learn its way so we're gonna go

28:24

along with with this ghost for the for the

28:26

moment while we study its weaknesses so

28:29

That's what we're doing right now Well,

28:32

we could do it by us. Why do you buy your

28:34

own bloody selves? He says and

28:36

hurry into a into his en

28:38

suite right on en suite. That's

28:40

property Yeah,

28:48

and you know the door slams behind him the

28:51

ghost looks very confused Well

28:56

this almost never happens yeah, hi Hi

29:01

He sort of hired

29:03

us hello. I'm a

29:05

wister I can chat

29:08

to you and your fellow ghosts Not

29:11

just a clearness Yeah, he's

29:13

very keen on changing his way, so I

29:15

think we need to work out a way

29:18

that you can actually talk to him Because

29:21

he's quite stubborn. I think he might have

29:23

just added to the ghost population with a

29:26

guy at the window I'm a bit worried,

29:28

but the ghost sort of floats over to the wall

29:30

of puts its head through the wall Often

29:40

With people is it

29:42

yeah, yeah, you get you choose one a year you just

29:44

go around and try and mend their ways I've

29:46

used is my third one tonight. Yeah, and this is my

29:49

third one tonight, and frankly I'm running a

29:51

little behind already. You know I've got a lot more

29:53

people to help mend their ways Yeah, I mean I've

29:55

got a job to do I've got to show someone a

29:58

vision of Crimson at past so Maybe

30:00

we could get on with that, I could do my job. Yeah.

30:03

And you know, tick in my book. Yeah. Yeah,

30:05

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do we get him out? Great.

30:09

No, not after the day. No, no, wait. There's

30:12

a, there's a, there's a. My way's

30:14

fine. There's a big, there's a sort

30:16

of swirl of white light. It

30:19

seems like you're caught in, it's like you're

30:21

trapped inside a snow globe. Oh, geez. And

30:24

it seems to swirl around. You

30:26

can't see more than a foot in front of your face,

30:28

but then as the swirling snow eventually

30:31

resolves and starts to fade, you're no

30:33

longer in Eben the Geezer's

30:35

Scroozes or Steer

30:37

old townhouse. You are now

30:39

in Edvard, what you immediately

30:42

recognize as the main hall

30:44

of your childhood home. No. There's

30:47

a huge crimsonite tree dominating the

30:50

room. The walls of the manor

30:52

are decked in red, green and gold. And

30:55

just in front of you, a little fair

30:57

head boy on the rug near the fire has

31:00

a brown head, smaller boy in a headlock.

31:04

Edvard, perhaps you could explain what

31:06

this scene is. Get off him

31:08

Lemuel, you cad. I shout. Can

31:11

they hear me? You know, I

31:13

went back and forth on this in planning and I thought

31:15

I'll just, okay. Yeah, Lemuel

31:17

looks up at you and goes, that's

31:20

it, that's it for crimsonite teeth. Stop

31:24

your tapering. I get Lemuel in a headlock. I'm

31:27

looking at you now, Lemuel. But now,

31:30

I shout. Get off me. Take. I

31:38

forgot. Not

31:41

so big now, are you Lemuel, you little

31:43

weasel? I just look

31:45

at him and go, okay, Edvard's got some things

31:47

to work out. What

31:51

are we looking at here? This is a typical

31:56

crimsonite here at the Lumiere. manner

32:01

which is Edvard and his older

32:03

brother Lenure who was

32:05

always good at sports. Just

32:09

enjoying some roughhousing you

32:11

know typical typical brothers

32:13

just roughhousing it up. It seemed

32:15

like the roughhousing was more from one

32:17

side than the other. Not anymore I

32:19

say! Lenure, that's

32:22

right, I'm a grown-up, you're not.

32:25

Lenure is going to try and

32:28

riddle free of your powerful adult

32:30

grasp. Edvard, let's

32:32

just make a fortune roll

32:34

for Lenure. Yeah,

32:39

Lenure does kind

32:41

of manage to get free. A

32:43

very strong boy. Yeah,

32:46

but pretty good at fives. Stumbles

32:52

backwards and into

32:54

the Crimsonite tree and

32:56

falls sat sitting squat

33:00

on a box that was under the Crimsonite

33:02

tree and you hear a sickening crunch and

33:05

the little brown-haired boy

33:07

goes, no! What's your voice like

33:10

when you're looking at us? Why is it a negative

33:12

consequence for me? This

33:16

is blazing the dark all over. Little

33:19

Edvard seems more concerned

33:22

with this broken package than with the

33:24

invader's. It is Crimsonite after all, that's

33:26

to be expected. And

33:29

sort of toddles over to the

33:31

box and just holds it looking

33:33

a little bit sad. Oh,

33:35

it's one for Edvard, was it? Check

33:38

the label. Yes, it was

33:40

a present for Edvard. In fact,

33:42

in a rush of nostalgia as

33:44

you peel the

33:46

lid off of this crumpled now

33:48

shattered box, you

33:50

recognize Edvard, your beloved little red

33:53

model fire pump with working crews,

33:55

the first mechanical model

33:57

that you ever assembled. It's

34:00

a model and now some of the pieces are

34:02

broken, but this can't be because you did have

34:05

that toy played with it Yeah, and

34:07

it was beloved through your whole childhood.

34:09

So something has gone awry here Something

34:12

that needs fixing. I'd like to fix that Okay,

34:15

as you hold it both boys just run off

34:18

one crying one Like

34:20

crying hard one. What do you have? The

34:26

mule is crying but it's also Shouting

34:30

names that I guess Ed Barge you recognize as the

34:32

names of your old nanny's servants

34:35

He's probably going to try and get people to yeah

34:40

He'll be drunk as lords Cool

34:44

let's start a clock which

34:47

is called the

34:50

household assembles the household mounts of defense

34:52

and tries to Kick

34:55

you both out. Well, let me I want to try and pick

34:58

this fire engine Five

35:04

is the highest brilliant. Okay in

35:06

your hand the pieces seem awfully

35:08

awfully small But

35:11

I suppose that's just the brutal passage of

35:13

time And if you

35:15

you you put it you put it together

35:17

quite capably because you are of course now

35:19

an adept tinker It takes you very little

35:21

time and you have here a

35:24

Perfectly repaired little red model

35:26

fire pump. There's just one

35:28

thing missing the working hose That's

35:32

odd Where is it? I'd

35:35

like to look around for it That's

35:44

a that's a four Yes

35:47

as Lemuel sort of vanishes up

35:49

some stairs you see it stuck

35:51

to his bum I

35:53

chased the child Yeah,

35:58

I would like to fire a sleeping at

36:01

Lemuel, your baby brother. Cool,

36:04

yep. Cool, roll me to that. Am I chasing him?

36:07

Am I also chasing him? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, probably

36:09

this B. Two. Alright, any

36:11

guidance on what kind of roll? Um,

36:14

yeah, let's... It feels finesse to me. Oh great,

36:16

well that's a good deal. Okay, two fours. Two

36:18

fours, okay. Yeah, that's the complication. Edvard, you're so

36:20

adept with the old sleep glow. Well

36:26

I know his particular Maisie run as well. Yeah,

36:32

of course. I mean,

36:34

perfect on the Rugger pitch, you know, Dodger and

36:37

Duckin, yes. You managed to

36:39

get off two darts, aimed at the end of the

36:41

game, and you're going to get

36:47

off two darts, aimed

36:49

directly at Lemuel's two butt

36:52

cheeks. But Lillith,

36:54

making a dive for the boy, unfortunately gets

36:57

in the way of one, and takes

36:59

one in the neck. Both Lemuel

37:01

and Lillith sort of slump on

37:04

the stairs immediately unconscious and roll

37:06

bodily back downstairs. I can't believe

37:08

I got that. I'm still feeling a frickin' wrench. Well,

37:10

not me. Take level one harm, ragdoll. Oh boy. Okay.

37:14

How many level one harm slots have you got? Two broken

37:16

rib and curse exposure. Okay, yeah, so yeah, take level two harm, I guess. Come

37:18

on. Ragdoll. Level two ragdoll

37:20

harm. Okay, I go, no, that's inconvenient. Yes. And

37:23

then I pick up Lemuel, I put him on

37:25

the sofa, and I'm like, oh, I'm going to

37:27

get him on

37:32

the sofa. So I pop him there where

37:34

he normally falls asleep, and then

37:36

I crack open a

37:39

vial of smelling salts

37:54

under my left nose to see if I can revive her.

38:01

Did I get him? Oh yeah,

38:03

you've got him, champ, I think. Did you get

38:05

him? Yeah. Took a bit

38:07

of a tumble there, but uh... My tongue

38:09

feels weird. Yeah, that'll happen with

38:11

Q-Rari. That'll be weird as well.

38:16

Yeah, alright. Cool. I

38:18

assume you've, let's say you've retrieved a

38:20

little hose. Yep, and I would like to

38:22

make that all nice again. The

38:26

little red model fire pump with working hose

38:28

now has a working hose and looks absolutely

38:30

good, isn't he? Good, alright. Wrap that

38:32

back up. Got a little

38:34

tree. Alright. Alright, flawless. Now, we

38:36

all learned our lesson? No. I

38:40

think we're good here, I'd say. You

38:43

say, I think we're good here,

38:46

but there is, you don't hear

38:49

anything. In fact, all you can

38:51

hear is a sort of soft, low sobbing

38:53

from upstairs. Let's make that ghost

38:55

come back. Maybe

38:57

we go talk to Lil' You? No,

39:01

I don't think there'll be any need for that, I think. What

39:05

do you love to do if he's ever happy,

39:08

if he knew that, you know, he grows

39:10

up to be someone cool like you? I'd like

39:12

to show him some of my amazing adventures. Yeah! Alright,

39:15

let's go, I think. Yeah, sure, you

39:17

bound up the stairs, obviously, as

39:19

far as you know, the way to your

39:21

own childhood room, you

39:24

are at the door. And from within, you can hear

39:26

us. I'm

39:29

like, standing like, really? Sounds

39:37

like another ghost in here. Good job for you.

39:40

Okay, I walk in thinking it might be

39:42

a ghost. It is

39:44

not a ghost, it's just Lil' Boy Edvard. What's Lil'

39:46

Boy Edvard look like? What's he wearing? I expect you're

39:48

a little boy. He's wearing like,

39:51

sort of grey shorts and

39:53

like long socks pulled up to just under

39:55

his knees. A shirt and like

39:57

a sweater vest and like a

39:59

little... little bow tie. What's in

40:01

the room? What's on the walls? It's

40:04

sort of daguerreotypes of famous

40:06

inventors and sort of half-built

40:09

Meccano sets and lots

40:11

of notebooks full of doodles

40:13

and drawings and scribbles and

40:15

things like that and one of those plasma

40:18

balls. Oh you got it, you got it,

40:20

have one of those. In Lemuel's room there's

40:22

also one of those but it's a more

40:24

kind of like ironic kind of

40:26

like dorm rooms kind of

40:29

vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and a kiffle. Yeah,

40:31

yeah, yeah, and a lava lamp. And you've

40:33

always had a kind of vibe.

40:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Typical Emuels. Hello,

40:39

hello Edvard. Hello.

40:41

Why are you crying? What's the matter?

40:43

Emuels sat on my present. Well I

40:46

fixed it for you. Yeah

40:49

that's right, I'm a tremendous tinkerer. Little

40:54

Edvard takes it and immediately starts spraying

40:57

the working hose. Yeah, this is good isn't it?

41:01

I tell you what, if you put a finger on the

41:03

hose you can build up and

41:05

then let it go all in one go. That's a particularly fun

41:07

thing to do with it. Little Edvard does this.

41:12

Like that, yeah, knocks a little something

41:14

off the, family picture

41:16

of a shelf. Like that and he

41:18

is delighted. He's still here right now.

41:20

Capital. He's loving it. You're

41:22

not scary thieves like I thought

41:24

you would be. No, we're just

41:26

passing friends here on Crimsonite. Just

41:29

pop it in to say hello,

41:31

wish you were merry Crimsonite. Not here to steal my things.

41:33

Not here to do your things, just here to learn a

41:35

lesson which I think we've done now. At this

41:37

point the ghost sort of pops its head in.

41:40

Is he eating a sandwich? Did you, sorry. Did

41:42

you teach your, did you learn a lesson?

41:44

Yes. What was it?

41:53

I just have to write in the book. The

41:55

real friendship is the friends we made along

41:57

the way. Sounds

42:01

like you learned

42:04

a lesson. Yeah. Chick, George George. George

42:07

George. George George, follow

42:09

along. And snow

42:11

swells and suddenly you find yourself

42:13

back in Evan the

42:16

Geezer Screws' uh, uh,

42:18

cool house. He

42:20

sort of peeks out from inside the

42:22

commode. Did

42:26

you kill him? Yep. Yeah, busted him good.

42:32

Used an electric gun of my own invention.

42:34

Yes, yes. Extoplasm

42:36

everywhere, you should have seen it. Yeah. Not

42:39

charged with electricity out of my own house,

42:41

I should taupe. No. Oh no.

42:44

A fool and his electricity have seen it.

42:46

I'm doing party. Party, I say. Marvelous,

42:49

marvelous. Oh good. I

42:52

think I've heard something more permanent

42:54

than Lemuel. Oh well. Screws

42:58

says, uh, well, I

43:01

suppose that's one spirit down then, marvelous.

43:03

Yep. Right, well, um,

43:06

can I offer you a small lump of cheese? I

43:09

already had a small lump of cheese earlier.

43:11

Fine, thank you. Yeah, I'm fine.

43:14

I'm thinking in the back of my head,

43:16

I don't know how good that cheese will

43:18

be. No. It doesn't look

43:20

good cheese. It keeps it late for

43:22

a while. Screws is delighted. Yeah. Well,

43:24

good, that'll be my lunch tomorrow then.

43:27

Excellent. What a treat for you, Mr. Screws.

43:29

I shall have to send off to market

43:31

for another month and more. So

43:34

that was the, um, the ghosts dealt with.

43:36

We will be taking our five coins. Oh

43:38

no, you don't, Mr. Medvard. I knew

43:40

you for a cut-per. As soon as

43:42

I saw you cut-perks is everywhere. Yes,

43:45

sir. Everyone with a hand in Mr.

43:47

Screws's pocket knows, sir. You haven't got

43:49

any pockets, sir. You're wearing a flimsy

43:51

nightshirt. The spirit's always raised. The nightshirt

43:54

is kind of coming a little loose.

44:00

And the spirit of the free spirit is always promised

44:02

that the free spirit is actually dispatched

44:04

before you get a sniff

44:06

from my hard-won money. Right.

44:09

Um, yeah, he's a... Oh, God,

44:11

I'm land-lording. Yeah. He

44:14

says, you will sit quietly. I am awake

44:16

now so I shall stay awake until the

44:18

next spirit appears. Right. He

44:20

sits down on his bed and out of

44:22

the door he gets a big pile of

44:24

eviction notices which he starts delightfully sort of

44:26

signing and writing out for his name for.

44:28

So he's humming a happy tune as he

44:30

does this. The only sign he sees. Cheerful.

44:33

And I feel a lot like we're not the

44:35

ones who should be learning lessons this Christmas. Yeah,

44:38

I think, yeah, you just fixed a toy

44:40

that wouldn't have been broken and we'd not

44:42

gone back in time to that point anyway.

44:44

Yeah, I did learn earlier than usual than

44:47

before how to do the holding the hose.

44:49

Oh, that's cool. Yes, that's something. So, yeah,

44:51

maybe that's affected my understanding of fluid dynamics.

44:54

Yeah, perhaps. I feel

44:56

like we should make this jerk learn

44:58

something. Yeah, I think so as well. I

45:00

don't think so. I don't think so. Mr

45:03

Cratcher, it shard do it. Shard do? There's

45:05

a small bruise that's a little too many.

45:09

He's out. Get him out of here. No,

45:12

no, no, it shard do. Probably made up.

45:15

No, no, no, no, no. All right. As

45:18

you sit here sort of having

45:20

this conversation, when all

45:22

of a sudden the clock in the

45:24

corner once more stirs into life. Boom,

45:27

boom, boom. Okay.

45:30

Screws immediately pops back out of the bed. Eviction

45:32

notices scattered. I stand

45:34

in front of the bathroom door. He

45:38

backs into the corner of the room. I think this

45:40

is it. Another spirit approaches. Do your jobs.

45:42

Okay, I'll give you a chance. You

45:45

want your coin, do your jobs. Fine. We'd

45:47

just like you to see us do it this time. Fine.

45:53

Once more, a ghostly glow

45:55

at the door. And this time, not

45:58

a small deal. child

46:00

with odd old man features, walking

46:03

in stooping under the door

46:06

frame, although it can walk in, a

46:08

big jolly spirit, it's a

46:10

jolly giant with a big bushy beard,

46:12

an emerald green crushed velvet robe that

46:14

hangs open at the front to reveal

46:16

a broad, muscular chest.

46:19

Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

46:22

Hello spirit. Come

46:24

in and know me better,

46:26

man. Why are you

46:28

saying that? says Mr. Scrooge. You're in

46:30

my house. Only I may. Welcome

46:33

people in. You a cursed spirit.

46:35

Kill it, kill it now. Okay,

46:37

I'm distracted. You kill it. Okay.

46:40

Spirit, I want none of your nonsense and

46:43

you're moralising. Be gone. Spirit,

46:47

what is it that you want? I

46:49

say. Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm

46:52

the ghost of Crimsonite Presents. Oh.

46:55

We get presents? Ho!

46:58

Ho! Ho! Why yes, Crimsonite

47:00

is all about gift. Ah.

47:02

And he spreads large hands wide

47:04

to reveal suddenly in his hands all

47:07

sorts of sweet meats and freshly baked

47:09

breads and fruits. Oh. No

47:12

Scrooge, his large S is for all

47:14

of us. Yeah, Scrooge. I say, you

47:17

could learn a lesson from him. Ho!

47:19

Ho! It's the spirit of Crimsonite. To

47:21

live in the moment. To give. To

47:23

hug your loved ones. Ho! Ho!

47:25

Ho! And start sort of

47:28

hitting a big bite of a real juicy

47:30

peach. Juice flows down

47:32

the edge. It's

47:35

doing anything for you, Scrooge. Scrooge.

47:37

I say. I'm

47:40

not unmoved. He says Scrooge. He's

47:44

starting to come around I think. I

47:46

do have a heart. Spirit, you've got to

47:48

send the sexier and sexier spirit. Go see

47:50

Shime. And we'll finally get him. Well,

47:54

at this point, Scrooge Leonard

47:56

turns to you and gives you a

47:59

big one. Oh

48:01

spirit I am

48:03

awfully excited to hear what

48:06

you have to tell me I might

48:08

in fact be ready

48:10

to mend my ways after all

48:12

and then he pushes you into

48:14

the arms of the beast going

48:16

hello sorry don't bite me oh

48:23

no time like the

48:25

present for my magical journey ask

48:29

again the bloody guy in the bloody

48:32

guy and

48:34

as the snow globe is like well

48:37

around you can I try

48:39

and grasp it? screw this yeah yeah

48:41

as you're going in see if you can

48:43

make a grasp make

48:45

a grasp of screwy okay that's

48:48

um I'm gonna make

48:50

that a wreck roll

48:53

I mean it was very much a wreck what I've got written here oh

48:58

that's a four that's four okay all right that's

49:00

a win uh why

49:05

is this all I can think of I know what I

49:07

think I know um hair

49:11

off screws in row've in one well

49:17

that's what we're all thinking now okay

49:21

you do pull screws into the

49:23

swirling vision with you uh but

49:25

he's wriggling so much um

49:27

but uh unfortunately uh he does

49:30

slip through his night shirt

49:32

he's wearing a sort of a

49:34

small extremely austere loincloth that's the

49:36

opposing couch yeah it looks like

49:38

it looks like these these underwear

49:41

have been worn inside then outside

49:43

a few times a fool

49:45

and he's washing water after he's passing

49:47

he says each little

49:49

as I do and trust me you make

49:51

very little mess okay

49:56

um as we uh

49:58

as the snow's It starts

50:00

to result... You

50:03

find yourselves on a sunlit street.

50:06

You are outside a large gothic house built

50:08

out of stone and dark wood. Lilith,

50:10

you recognise it instantly as your family home.

50:13

And you feel a tug at your heartstrings

50:15

because you haven't been here in a very

50:17

long time. Since you made your

50:19

long and difficult journey to Voldersport, it's not

50:21

easy to travel around these days. And

50:23

yes, you didn't know when you would next get to see home.

50:26

And the sight of the house is... It's

50:29

emotional. Oh,

50:32

man. This is so much quicker. The

50:35

guy's like, can you do this in about 12

50:37

days when I come back to work? You

50:40

may as well just stay here for 12 days now. In

50:44

12 hours I'll be dead. I'm

50:49

the ghost of Cribs like present you see.

50:53

Catch me if you can. Hello, I'm Wills,

50:55

the dungeon master for story breakers. Love

50:57

critical role in movies like Hot Files and Spotlight? Actual

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play series Storybreakers combines the fantasy adventure of Dungeons

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and Dragons with small-town comedy

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and mystery in an episodic tale of

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journalists on the hunt for the secret

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underbelly of a tiny town where nothing

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seems to happen. But excuse

51:13

me if I don't think a bunch

51:15

of ragtag journalists from a pulled

51:17

up town are actually going to be a

51:19

video. But technically I don't come from here.

51:22

When the mysterious arrival of a celebrity from the Heroes in Adventurers

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Guild sets off a strange conspiracy, the group will have to leave

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what they think they know about the world at the

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door. If they're ever to unravel the truth, there's a

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heart for this seemingly nondescript town. It's not

51:35

front page of the Sarsar Hill. I

51:38

pulled up the today's like installment of the news

51:40

to see what the front page actually is. There's

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a main picture of a pumpkin that's

51:45

been stepped on. And it says

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outrage as pumpkin stepped on.

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Storybreaker season one in its entirety is

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available for listening right now wherever you get

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51:56

on the way, find out more at

51:58

dicebreaker.com No! No! He

52:02

runs up the drive. He's

52:05

not the only one sort of outside

52:08

the house here. Then you see that,

52:10

in fact, there are lots of people

52:12

milling round outside the manor. The streets

52:14

are busy. You realise, my gosh, it's

52:16

the Cappellanaga Solstice party. The

52:19

annual party that your family throws where they

52:21

throw open the doors of the manor. The

52:23

whole street is invited. It's a huge community

52:25

event. And,

52:29

yeah, people are freely

52:31

wandering into the house. Edvard,

52:34

Edvard. This is my parents'

52:36

home. I swear, you know,

52:38

I know, and I'm not in Vollisport. I'm

52:40

here. Yeah, we've all seen our

52:42

parents' home. Just learn something quickly. Do you

52:45

want to give me a tour? I'd like

52:47

to take Edvard into the house. Show him

52:49

around. Yes, fine. Wonderful

52:51

dark wood panelling. Yes, lovely. How

52:54

much that set you back? I

52:57

don't know. It's been in the family for generations. I

52:59

didn't realise, I thought we'd only bought his clothes through

53:01

with us. No. Oh, OK. No,

53:04

the clothes is what staged, Mr Edvard. Oh, good.

53:07

So you're just here and you... Oh,

53:09

I thought Edvard would be standing there holding...

53:11

Yeah. I think we all hoped.

53:17

Well, all right. My view, Mr Edvard, I'll

53:19

be docking this from your reward. Docking what?

53:21

The reward is down to four coin for

53:23

this imposition. I shall have to

53:25

have my night clothes washed, which I despise. What

53:29

do you think, water is free? Well,

53:31

it ain't. All right. One way or another, this guy is learning

53:33

a lesson today. Yes. Come

53:35

and see the generosity of my

53:37

family. Now I'll stay out here if it's all the same.

53:40

I grab his wrist and I talk in the air. Having

53:44

a drink. Right. Yes, learn

53:46

a lesson. You're going to have the warm spiced

53:48

wine and you're going to enjoy it. Oh, that

53:51

does actually sound quite good. All right. I'm coming.

53:53

Okay. You walk up to the door. There is

53:57

a... a footman at the door. Not

53:59

like... a guard, a security

54:01

guard. Let's see if you

54:04

are visible in this one. Yes,

54:06

cool. What do you say to the footman?

54:08

Is it someone who you recognise? Is it

54:10

someone who is new to the staff since

54:12

you went away? I think

54:15

it's someone who's, yeah,

54:17

I think it's one of the footmen that's been

54:19

in our family. I joined when I was like

54:21

about eight years old or so. And

54:23

I think it's

54:26

Fierro. Fierro? Yeah.

54:29

Fierro, quite an elderly chap, I suppose. A little

54:32

bit older, like, yeah, he just wanted, he

54:34

didn't want to be in a household with

54:36

lots of young children, but you know,

54:38

I was just getting to the age

54:40

where he was like, okay, I can

54:42

talk to an eight year old. Fierro,

54:44

except. Fierro always talks about Fierro in

54:46

the first year.

54:49

It's a quirk of Fierro.

54:51

Fierro recognises you. Fierro,

54:55

hey! Miss me,

54:57

is that you? Yes, it's

54:59

me. What? Miss Fierro, can't

55:01

believe what Fierro is seeing.

55:04

Do these old eyes see

55:06

Fierro? Do you miss me? Yes, it

55:08

is. And I ran off and gave him a

55:10

big hug. Oh, we weren't expecting you

55:13

back? This is a surprise. Oh

55:15

yes, no, my studies

55:18

have meant I've had to, you know, pop

55:20

back for just a quick visit. Across

55:23

the demons, you waste land.

55:25

I am just start

55:27

to ostentatiously look at my pocket watch. And

55:30

you, well, your mother and father will

55:33

be so delighted that you've made

55:35

it happen. I see you've brought

55:37

two friends. Yes, do we

55:39

have any jackets that

55:41

we can lend to my friend

55:43

here, Evan? On Crimsonite,

55:46

I'm sure we can accommodate. Oh,

55:49

how generous I say, looking at Evan.

55:53

Perhaps you've learned something. Yeah,

55:56

as this jacket is handed over to Evan's

55:59

screws, he says... Any fool wants

56:01

to give me a free jacket, I'll have to play have it.

56:05

So in a way he learned something I say

56:07

to this guy. It's got

56:09

some gold buttons down. Evan

56:13

Biggies' screw starts pulling off all but one. He

56:15

puts them all in his pocket except for one which

56:18

he buttons up like this. Yep

56:21

certainly he's learned some. Yeah.

56:23

So someone said something about some spiced wine. Yeah

56:26

I'd like to go in and

56:28

have a look around and

56:31

try and find the parents. Yeah

56:34

that's finally proceed inside

56:36

through to the

56:39

living room where your

56:41

father is. Tell

56:43

us about your dad Lily. The Capella

56:45

naga, you know it's in

56:47

the name while my demon snake

56:49

hair. My father also

56:52

has his snake but slightly shorter, slightly

56:54

shorter hair. Sure. I like a

56:56

little quick of snakes. Do

56:58

you still have the head? Like a c head.

57:20

It's just his head. Make some notes

57:23

a little bit. So they're demonic so

57:25

they can be any length that they wish

57:27

to be and they don't, they're not

57:29

like a physicality thing attached to it.

57:33

They're almost like a vision. And

57:36

he likes to sport like a gentle

57:38

twist. And

57:42

a little snake mustache. He

57:48

did that, I told you what, he did that

57:51

one year when I was, you know, he did

57:53

it in Movember. Oh

57:57

yes the month that we have here in.

58:00

Yeah, in Bolesport

58:02

before December. Cobra, Cobra,

58:04

no. No,

58:06

he did it for certain temper. He did it

58:08

for certain temper. Yeah, there we go. There it

58:11

is. We got there. We got there in the end. And

58:13

now we keep receiving the fun of it. Yeah,

58:16

well, your father is holding

58:18

court as

58:21

he often does. The whole room is kind of

58:23

laughing at an anecdote. He's telling,

58:25

I'm intensely studying his trousers to see if

58:27

I can see any wrinkling snake movement. Let's

58:30

make a roll then. All right. I'm

58:35

rolling to see if that snake movements or if you

58:37

see the movement. He

58:39

doesn't have snakes like her. Okay.

58:43

I'm really, I'm really, really, really. This

58:45

is a study roll. I'm studying intently. It's

58:47

a two. Yeah, you just don't

58:50

know. You can't get well enough. There's

58:52

only one way to be sure. I

58:55

say, for science. Stay away from

58:57

my dad. I'mlessly producing

58:59

Mr. Capelonaga. I

59:02

didn't do my job much. I'm sorry. Right.

59:08

Okay. Yeah, your dad hasn't

59:10

seen you yet. I would like

59:13

to sidewalk the side of the snake up

59:15

tight and just tap you on the shoulder. Yeah,

59:17

what are your snakes doing? Oh yeah. So

59:22

as I was saying, the art block turned round.

59:25

Remember. Hey guys. So

59:28

wonderful. My daughter has

59:30

returned. The good

59:33

wine. The good wine. He's

59:35

delight. Hey, screws I say

59:37

leaning in. This is some real

59:39

heartwarming family stuff. Lean over. You lean over for

59:41

screws but you elbow thin air. He's already at

59:43

the buffet chilling in his pocket. Much

59:47

over and much screws back. Make

59:50

him look at the heartwarming family scene. What

59:53

am I looking at? A heartwarming family scene, man.

59:56

Doesn't it warm your heart? It's heartwarming. Why?

1:00:00

Because of the love they have for each other, and the

1:00:03

things that they share, they

1:00:05

support each other. My God, has he

1:00:07

given everyone that good wine? Yes. He

1:00:09

sees the bottle that's going round, everyone.

1:00:12

Because it's more important to him that everyone

1:00:14

enjoys themselves and has a good time than

1:00:16

the monetary value of the wine. Scrooge is

1:00:18

looking round for a large receptacle.

1:00:20

You see there's a fruit bowl melted

1:00:22

out to the man with the wine.

1:00:25

Just a chap, if you will. Oh

1:00:27

yes, lovely. Great

1:00:31

link. Fruit bowl full of wine. What

1:00:33

are you going to do with a fruit bowl full of wine? I

1:00:36

was about to sell it. Good

1:00:41

boring stuff like this. Oh

1:00:43

yes, it will venture fine. Right, that

1:00:45

is about half this off me, yes. Two coin

1:00:48

if I'm not... Oh yes, two coin if it's

1:00:50

not three. Oh yes. Lily,

1:00:52

for two more heartwarming stuff, we'll get in.

1:00:54

Yeah, I guess we'll expect... Where's Mum? Where's

1:00:56

Mum? She round? Oh yes,

1:00:59

she's just... well,

1:01:02

she's still upstairs. Okay. You

1:01:05

notice that there's a sort of falter

1:01:07

in the way that he describes that to you. Do

1:01:11

you list them... Heartwarming, I think. Almost

1:01:15

as if he feels like he can't

1:01:18

speak completely openly in company. Yeah,

1:01:20

you must go and see her, she'll

1:01:22

be so delighted. Okay, right. And your

1:01:24

brother is somewhere. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna

1:01:26

go upstairs, find mum and then

1:01:29

find my brother in a sec. Okay, yep. Yeah,

1:01:32

you go to your mum's room.

1:01:34

Yes. Cool. You

1:01:36

give a little knock at the door and you hear a... Come

1:01:39

in, come in. Hi mum. Lilith!

1:01:42

Hi! See, burst into tears and run.

1:01:44

You're a huge hugger. Oh, is everything okay? What?

1:01:47

You seem like there. It is now. I

1:01:49

was. I don't

1:01:51

mind telling you, Lilith. These

1:01:54

cringe night parties just haven't

1:01:56

been the same without you. Oh mum!

1:02:00

I'm here, we can have a nice time while I'm

1:02:02

here. I've stuck back in with screws and I'm like...

1:02:06

And you're at the window. Yeah. Pressed

1:02:10

up against it. Screws is pressed up against

1:02:12

the glass. I'm the... Double glazing, what's this

1:02:14

called? That

1:02:18

was not the glass, I'm the glass. You

1:02:20

fool. Not as a glass, true. Yeah,

1:02:25

oh yes, ruin is to heat this glass over the

1:02:27

mesh. Yeah,

1:02:29

meanwhile, inside. Yeah, your master's room. Well, it

1:02:31

doesn't matter. You're home now, what a wonderful

1:02:33

surprise. Your brother will be so excited. It's

1:02:35

so wonderful to have you here, even if

1:02:37

it's just for the present. Aww.

1:02:41

At this point, the jolly giant pops into

1:02:43

your door. Did I hear

1:02:45

someone say, just her present? You...

1:02:48

I'm sorry, Mum, this is the Ghost of

1:02:50

Christmas Present. This is how I got here.

1:02:52

Ghost of Christmas Present, this is my mum.

1:02:56

Hello, he says, and

1:02:58

gives her a warm, great big embrace. Fruit,

1:03:02

fresh figs, peaches. How

1:03:08

open is this shirt? A little

1:03:10

more open than it was. I hope she holds my mother's

1:03:12

eye. She's

1:03:16

been happily married for a long time. It

1:03:20

sounds like somebody may have learned a

1:03:22

lesson. Did someone? Er, not yet. I

1:03:24

want to say hi to my brother

1:03:26

first. Oh. All

1:03:29

right then. Screws, have you learned about love?

1:03:32

No. Bang

1:03:35

his head into the window again. Have you learned? No. All

1:03:39

I see is a bunch of pointless moitering

1:03:42

about. Frankly, she wouldn't have been so

1:03:44

upset if she'd never loved her daughter

1:03:46

in the first place. Why love someone? They're just going to

1:03:48

go away and leave you, move

1:03:50

to the other side of the world. No, thanks, not

1:03:53

for old screws. No, thank you, sir. No, no, no,

1:03:55

no, no. A fool and his daughter

1:03:57

are soon parted. That's what I've learned here, mate.

1:04:01

hearing screws, ranting

1:04:03

and even through the double

1:04:05

glazing you can do it. Mother did you get

1:04:08

the package that I sent you? I

1:04:11

like because I'd already sent them

1:04:13

some gifts ahead of time, ready

1:04:16

to welcome them. We have our

1:04:18

party on Crimson Night, we have a proper

1:04:20

celebration with the gifts in a couple of weeks

1:04:22

time. You've

1:04:25

got everything and it's all, you got it

1:04:27

all fine? Yeah, good, good. I'm

1:04:32

still in contact with my family, I'm not left

1:04:34

to them forever. Learn

1:04:37

something! What

1:04:40

I'm learning is I'm thinking of taking it down to 3.5 points.

1:04:44

Oh, you should. Screws

1:04:50

at this point is getting very, very solid. The only

1:04:52

way we're getting out of here, Screws, is if you

1:04:54

learn something. So learn something sharpish. The

1:04:57

jolly giant is sitting around saying,

1:05:00

If somebody's learned something, I

1:05:03

think it's about time we were going

1:05:05

because I've an awful lot more Christmas

1:05:07

presents to visit tonight.

1:05:11

You mean Crimson-mas, I say. I

1:05:13

do mean Crimson's Crimson Night. Crimson's Night,

1:05:16

sorry. I

1:05:18

don't worry too much about that sort of thing, I

1:05:20

live in the present. Of course. Yes,

1:05:23

Mum, I'll be back soon. Give

1:05:26

a hug to my brother, I'll be back, bye.

1:05:29

At this point, your

1:05:31

brother, whose name is? Azazel. Yeah,

1:05:34

your brother, yeah, actually walks in through

1:05:36

the door. Like, hi! I'm

1:05:39

running, I'm running, give him a big

1:05:41

hug before the vortex gets in. You just have time

1:05:43

for a big hug. And

1:05:47

the jolly giant is delighted.

1:05:51

I'm just imagining what's going to happen to this giant bowl

1:05:53

of wine as we go through the vortex. Yeah,

1:05:59

the jolly giant. Take me, you swollen wine. This

1:06:02

is the Jelly Giant. The

1:06:04

Jelly Giant is so delighted. This

1:06:07

is the true spirit of prims,

1:06:09

Night Lily. I'm glad I

1:06:11

was able to teach you the true

1:06:13

meaning of it. Family, to live in

1:06:15

the moment. Yes. Oh,

1:06:17

oh. It's a reason, Nudge. Seems like I've

1:06:20

done my job. Yeah, well, I don't

1:06:22

know why I do that. It seems like I've done my job. I

1:06:24

mean, that guy, um... I've

1:06:28

done my job. His

1:06:31

hair is graying and his face

1:06:33

is coming. Lined and old. Oh,

1:06:36

coming and only better now.

1:06:41

You phase away. You find yourself

1:06:43

back in Screws' room. He's

1:06:45

holding an empty fruit bowl of

1:06:47

wine and you're all

1:06:50

drenched. In very

1:06:52

good wine. Screws

1:06:54

immediately. Yeah. Goes up to

1:06:57

you, and then you're going, such a winging, you know. Like,

1:06:59

oh. That's good

1:07:01

stuff. You

1:07:04

shall be making off with it. Everyone's got

1:07:06

it in this room, just put it. He

1:07:09

quite does, sir. Well,

1:07:11

that's the go- Oh, I'm not quite done. There's

1:07:13

one more spirit yet to offer. Yeah, well, that's

1:07:15

that one taken care of, so... So

1:07:18

I guess we'll just make small talk until the next

1:07:20

one arrives. I suppose we shall. Have

1:07:23

you seen any good magic lamp corns lately? Oh,

1:07:26

magic lamp corns. Ruined

1:07:28

us to like, while I'm busy

1:07:30

myself looking at something that isn't even real,

1:07:32

isn't even there. I've seen enough of that

1:07:35

tonight. For free, I would add. I

1:07:37

mean, that was all real. Like... Well,

1:07:41

then so you ask. No,

1:07:45

it doesn't. So

1:07:48

you've got any plans for the

1:07:50

rest of the Crimson Knight season?

1:07:52

Have you seen any family? Well, I don't

1:07:55

have many family, which is a relief.

1:07:57

Many? Same as they are wrong. Got some. Well,

1:08:01

I have a nephew. Fred?

1:08:05

Fred? Fred? Yeah. Weren't

1:08:08

we popping around to see him? He's

1:08:10

a fool's fool. Were

1:08:14

he not my blood relative? Why, other minds cut

1:08:16

him off? In fact, maybe

1:08:18

I will. Where's that, where's that? No.

1:08:24

I'll make a note, make a note. Cut

1:08:26

off Fred on cream night. Oh

1:08:28

my God. That'll settle his ash. Or

1:08:34

you could go over to Fred's and have a nice, the

1:08:37

food would be paid for by Fred because he'd be at Fred's

1:08:39

house. Well, he always

1:08:41

has been very needlessly profflicate

1:08:44

with his sons, him

1:08:46

and his wife, and talking of having children.

1:08:49

Gosh, I can't imagine anything more ruinous. No,

1:08:51

thank you, not for old screws. No, no, a

1:08:54

child never put a pound in my pocket. He

1:09:00

sort of rants on and on in this way.

1:09:02

What's a pound? What's a pound?

1:09:04

Yeah. A pound, screws

1:09:06

are so old that he remembers. He

1:09:09

remembers, he's sort of free,

1:09:11

free decimalisation, currency,

1:09:15

description of the- Literally a pound of gold.

1:09:17

Yeah, that's how he used to, a coin

1:09:19

used to weigh a pound. That's

1:09:21

how they'd be measured, of course. You

1:09:23

could probably carry one or two at a time. It

1:09:26

was so large. At this point- The

1:09:29

screws spots that in all the confusion,

1:09:31

he left the single coal still burning

1:09:33

and goes over to Gausich. That'll

1:09:37

be good tomorrow. Lilith, he's got

1:09:40

a nephew, he's got family. We

1:09:42

should, we need to convert him. He

1:09:44

buys the plumpest turkey in the shop

1:09:46

and takes it round there. But

1:09:49

he seems- He seems to

1:09:51

be learning no lessons. It's quite so, I've

1:09:53

got- Khybun, I would say. Yeah. Oh

1:09:56

no. All

1:09:58

right, he's coming on this- one I

1:10:00

say I grab him. Unhand me

1:10:03

Mr Redfast. We need you on this

1:10:05

mission. Why? Because it's

1:10:12

important, I say it's ghost

1:10:14

hunting, there's no time to explain. This

1:10:17

time the same familiar white

1:10:19

swirl around the door occurs

1:10:22

but it is not anything

1:10:25

near so jolly that comes through. The temperature

1:10:29

in the room drops to freezing point,

1:10:31

you all start to shudder and shake.

1:10:33

The dim, already dim light goes out,

1:10:36

the single coal is

1:10:38

extinguished which delights

1:10:41

screws. He nods in

1:10:43

approval in its direction,

1:10:45

the candles snuff out,

1:10:47

screws are not in

1:10:50

approval. And

1:10:53

a tall eight

1:10:55

foot tangled mass of dark

1:10:57

roads with nothing but darkness

1:10:59

underneath sort of glides silently

1:11:03

towards you. You can't see what's

1:11:06

within the mask. You

1:11:09

can't see what's within the mask.

1:11:11

The cow. You can't see

1:11:14

its face. Friend of yours, Lily?

1:11:17

No, no, no. Seems like your kind of...

1:11:20

No? Not been

1:11:22

with ease before. It raises

1:11:25

one hand and

1:11:28

you do see the hand and it's a

1:11:30

skeletal grasping thing

1:11:33

and it sort of points

1:11:36

vaguely around the room. I sort of

1:11:38

move screws with the hand. Yeah,

1:11:47

and it goes like

1:11:49

this. And

1:11:54

it makes a big

1:11:56

skeletal grasp. It's really

1:11:58

good. The snow

1:12:01

again, sir. Dark to 12. This

1:12:04

time you are transported

1:12:07

to... it's dark. It's

1:12:09

dark. There's snow on the ground but none falling.

1:12:12

The wind is howling. This is a

1:12:15

very grim, crim's knife

1:12:17

indeed. And you are in a

1:12:19

gothic cemetery. The

1:12:22

moon is high, the shadows are

1:12:25

everywhere, these ornate tombs. And

1:12:30

the spirit stands

1:12:33

there imposingly. Screws

1:12:36

is going to try and wriggle free and run in

1:12:38

the opposite direction. Why

1:12:40

don't you roll to

1:12:42

keep hold? I think

1:12:44

this will be a finesse, a finesse roll, because

1:12:47

I'll be trying to counter

1:12:49

his move. I'm so worried about

1:12:51

this. Hey,

1:12:55

6-1. Quick, quick,

1:12:57

quick, quick. Yeah,

1:12:59

Screws is going absolutely nowhere. Unhand

1:13:02

me! I shall not, sir. You

1:13:04

will learn... Bam!

1:13:07

A! Bam! Let's

1:13:09

do this! Screws

1:13:11

knocks to his knees in front of

1:13:13

the spirit, who

1:13:18

puts the thought in all of your

1:13:20

minds, wordlessly, that it is the ghost

1:13:22

of crim's knife yet to come. But

1:13:26

no other sort of word appears.

1:13:29

Instead, it

1:13:32

gestures to a spot between two

1:13:34

graves. And even

1:13:37

the geezer Screws crawls

1:13:39

on hands and knees, as if

1:13:42

compelled to that spot

1:13:44

between two graves. What

1:13:48

is this, spirit? What am I here

1:13:50

to see? What are you trying to show me? These

1:13:54

two are letting me see, because I've died

1:13:56

the wrong lot, apparently. That's something

1:13:58

else, because they're as they are. The

1:14:01

spirit points to the ground where there is a very

1:14:05

small and very sad piece

1:14:09

of stone that

1:14:11

says E S

1:14:14

is covered in moss, it's

1:14:16

untended and

1:14:19

Evan turns to you and says, What's

1:14:22

the meaning of this? Who's grave is

1:14:24

this? Well, screws,

1:14:27

this is what awaits you if you stay on your

1:14:29

current path, this humble

1:14:32

grave mourned by no one. But

1:14:35

this is exactly what

1:14:38

I wanted, he said. I put it in

1:14:40

my will, I said no need for a

1:14:42

large granite tomb, no sir, no, no, no.

1:14:44

Not with points, not with granite as the

1:14:47

price it is. And you know they charge

1:14:49

by the letter. Those cut purses down at

1:14:51

the funeral home. No thank you, I said

1:14:54

just simple E S. The point is not

1:14:56

the grave itself, the fact is

1:14:58

it, do you see flowers upon the grave? Do you

1:15:00

see mourners? Do you see sad

1:15:03

people mourning your loss? Screws. In

1:15:05

fact is that graffiti? I

1:15:08

look in close, there's a graffiti in the

1:15:10

centre. There is a grooves lesson. I am

1:15:12

glad screws is dead. That'll be one of

1:15:14

our dependency, love. There's only one thing I'm

1:15:17

interested in seeing. And

1:15:19

screws actually start digging in the earth in

1:15:21

front of the tomb. Soon

1:15:25

enough he sort of hits

1:15:27

a dumk on pure wooden dust. Give

1:15:29

me a hand here, give me a hand here.

1:15:31

No. Help me dig and I'll put it back

1:15:33

up to full court. Alright

1:15:35

fine. Ok. Meanwhile

1:15:37

the ghost of Christ not yet become

1:15:40

his leaning against a tall grave, smoking

1:15:42

a cigarette. I

1:15:45

put that to telescoping, entrenching tool. Yep,

1:15:47

yep, cool. Dig,

1:15:50

dig, dig, dig, dig. Soon you have unearthed a coffin.

1:15:52

Ah now. Now you shall see if

1:15:54

my final wishes were truly observed. For

1:15:57

I specify very clearly in my will that wish can

1:15:59

be buried with all the all of my wealth. Oh,

1:16:01

okay. And he rips the coffin

1:16:03

that opened to reveal skeletons

1:16:06

and no gold. No

1:16:09

money at all. Well. Why? Why?

1:16:12

I said, I said in my will to Fred, I

1:16:15

said, bury me with all of my wealth. Yes.

1:16:18

Why was Fred and his own uncle?

1:16:20

Well, screws. Why have they not done as I

1:16:23

wished? The kimps. Did

1:16:26

the money not transfer correctly? Did

1:16:29

I not pay them handsomely? Well,

1:16:31

screws, I think this is more of a

1:16:33

metaphorical thing because life is

1:16:35

like a journey. Who knows where it ends.

1:16:38

If you want to count the measure of

1:16:40

a man, you simply count his friends, I

1:16:43

say. Isn't that lovely?

1:16:45

I think that's great. So all you're left

1:16:47

with at the end, can't

1:16:49

take it with you, screws, and look. Now

1:16:52

you have nothing, this dusty old skeleton, I say, kicking

1:16:54

a hole in its rib cage. I gave

1:16:56

Fred everything he could want. Small

1:16:59

amount of money. It's

1:17:02

not. It's a poor thing. And? What

1:17:05

more can you want from an uncle? Why is it

1:17:08

just so made me? He wanted an uncle, screws. He

1:17:10

wanted a family. He wanted

1:17:13

his uncle, but all you gave him was

1:17:15

a little bit of money and a long pause. Well.

1:17:20

He didn't even want the money, probably. Are

1:17:22

you suggesting that had I been nicer to

1:17:24

my nephew, he might have

1:17:26

allowed me to be buried with all my money?

1:17:28

Yes, yes. It

1:17:30

would definitely have done that. The world of that pun down. And

1:17:35

he crumples in a little heap and

1:17:37

starts gently weeping. Yeah,

1:17:40

you see this is all that remains for you, screws,

1:17:42

I say, kicking another hole in the rib cage. This

1:17:47

fragile old dusty skeleton, I say, booting

1:17:49

the jaw off it. You

1:17:53

know that screws- Screws that several

1:17:56

gold teeth, they are not in the-

1:17:58

Oh. He's had them removed. and

1:18:00

beneath one of the ribs there's a very shriveled

1:18:02

little organ that presumably was passed

1:18:05

as some kind of heart. See this, Scrooge? Most

1:18:08

people's hearts grow three sizes

1:18:10

during Croom's night, and

1:18:12

this is tiny and rubbish, I say, volleying

1:18:14

it into the distance. Ahhhhh! Wouldn't

1:18:19

have been able to do that with a

1:18:21

normal love tart. Okay, Scrooge is an emotional

1:18:24

turmoil. I'm

1:18:26

going to roll for Scrooge to determine

1:18:29

whether or not he's learned his lesson. Oh.

1:18:37

Well, it's a three. Uh,

1:18:40

Scrooge, Scrooge, right, sobbing, and he

1:18:42

staggers up to the ghost of

1:18:44

Croom's night yet to come and

1:18:46

says, This is all your fault!

1:18:50

An almighty shove, pushing the spirit over,

1:18:52

and it falls, uh, like this,

1:18:55

and then rises double tall, uh,

1:18:58

suddenly two glowing spots appear

1:19:01

in the darkness, and

1:19:03

it extinguishes the cigar on a nearby

1:19:05

garden. Oh no! As from somewhere it

1:19:08

pulls an enormous sigh from it, and

1:19:10

then just goes, Just going to step behind a tree

1:19:12

here. I would like to attune, I

1:19:14

would like to attune, and to go, Save

1:19:17

me, Shout Scrooge, running towards you.

1:19:19

Right, so you're hiding? Yes,

1:19:22

please. I would like to

1:19:24

shove on my spirit while I can

1:19:26

attune as quickly as possible. Okay, cool.

1:19:29

Let's cover Scrooge's escape

1:19:31

first. Oh,

1:19:35

that's a one. Oh no. Right,

1:19:37

okay. You got the faceplugs. He

1:19:40

faceplugs into his own grave, and the coffin lid

1:19:42

snaps. He's

1:19:46

out of the way. The

1:19:49

furious spirit scans around for its

1:19:51

next victim. I'm frantically loading electroplasmic

1:19:53

ammo into a revolver. Let's see

1:19:55

how well you're hidden, Eddard. Okay. Vanessa

1:19:57

or Prowl, which... I'll go with

1:19:59

Vanessa. Please. Alright.

1:20:06

Hey, a six. A six. Amazing. Yeah,

1:20:08

you've ducked behind a large, awesome,

1:20:12

semi-stove. Mortimium. You've come behind an

1:20:14

angel, a gravestone. Yeah, I think

1:20:16

it's the exact same. And

1:20:19

you're loading your electro-classical ammo. Just

1:20:21

for... Yeah. Into what? Into

1:20:24

what? We did a bit of loader engagement on this.

1:20:26

Yeah, it's a large revolver. Cool. A large revolver, cool.

1:20:29

Right, the spirit looks around, it can't see

1:20:31

anyone except Lilith, so... It

1:20:34

sort of moves towards you with horrifying

1:20:36

speed, swinging besides as it comes. I

1:20:38

would like to attune! Okay, cool.

1:20:40

So tell me exactly what you're

1:20:43

trying to do here. Okay, I'm just trying

1:20:45

to be like, please don't

1:20:47

hurt us, and just try and

1:20:50

be like, we will work

1:20:52

on this guy. He's learned a

1:20:55

kind of lesson. We will

1:20:57

deal with him. It sounds like you're trying to persuade him.

1:21:00

Yeah, trying to persuade him a little bit. Okay. Just

1:21:03

wait to go, Steve. You're going to

1:21:05

be... At least persuade him to not

1:21:07

be mad at me and Edward. I'm

1:21:09

weird, not the frogman. Okay,

1:21:12

I think I'm going to need a six.

1:21:14

Okay. Don't forget, take

1:21:17

a little stress, add some dice. Yeah,

1:21:20

I'm going to take a stress and then six stress.

1:21:22

Alright, you're rolling how many? Three. Three. Okay.

1:21:27

I'm going to do something to you, my friend! Two!

1:21:31

Amazing! A critical success!

1:21:34

Incredible. It's very

1:21:36

sweet, she wants you with horrifying speed.

1:21:39

It's like all the Castlevania bosses rolled

1:21:41

into one. And it's this

1:21:43

normal size of life, so it's most death, that

1:21:45

Castlevania, but anyway. And then it comes to a

1:21:47

really... But it's theme song, it's

1:21:50

Dracula's theme from Castlevania. Yeah. Yes.

1:21:53

Yes. I'm

1:21:57

very sorry. It's

1:22:00

not me, and it's

1:22:02

not my friend. Hi. The man in the box.

1:22:05

No, I'm not. He was like, wait, it's my friend's

1:22:07

friend's eye, isn't it?

1:22:11

From the desk. You

1:22:14

can't do this over Zoom. Terrible. The

1:22:17

answer just forces him to learn a lesson. Is

1:22:20

there any way you can

1:22:22

teach him a lesson in another way? We've been trying

1:22:24

the whole time. We've been

1:22:26

trying to help your fellow ghosts teach

1:22:29

you silence. He hired us to try

1:22:31

and stop you. And

1:22:33

we thought, no, he needs to learn a

1:22:36

lesson. And... The

1:22:40

group gestures to a worksheet at its

1:22:42

own. They go, oh, oh, oh. Yeah,

1:22:44

yeah. We've got several more jobs this

1:22:46

evening. I know, I know. We've been

1:22:48

trying to help this one along. I know. We're

1:22:51

really sorry. Yeah. Okay.

1:22:55

The ghost

1:22:57

stops on over to the grave,

1:23:00

using the size to kind of scoop the coffin out

1:23:02

of the earth and scratches

1:23:05

it down on the ground where the screws are kind of cowering

1:23:08

there. Ah, don't mind

1:23:10

me, I'm a skeleton. You

1:23:16

are no skeleton, Scrooge. But

1:23:19

the spirits are enjoy.

1:23:24

I'm so glad you're really glad you chose this one. So

1:23:27

glad you're changed to the coffin.

1:23:29

Yeah. Lend your

1:23:31

ways. Okay, no. Lend your

1:23:33

way, Scrooge. Lend

1:23:37

your way, Scrooge. You will. Lend

1:23:39

your ways, you will, Scrooge. Discover

1:23:45

the true meaning of a prince like

1:23:47

you will. Come

1:23:50

to appreciate it, you must. That's

1:23:52

about family, giving all the goodness it

1:23:54

is. All this time next

1:23:56

year, I will come to your home as fast as

1:23:59

you would half an hour. I'm just

1:24:02

sure you are serious, I'm taking your

1:24:04

finger. As

1:24:09

the snow

1:24:12

globe comes back and you

1:24:15

end up on a... in Scrooge's bedroom,

1:24:17

he was watching you can... Well

1:24:22

Scrooge, I think that was

1:24:24

pretty comprehensive. I say, oh do shut up, I

1:24:26

put a tourniquet on. Thank you Mr Ed Fard.

1:24:30

Why? Why did you do that?

1:24:33

Well, but I didn't want to see you just bleed

1:24:35

out from a finger wound, not

1:24:37

when you've learned Scrooge... Because I

1:24:39

haven't paid you yet. No? No.

1:24:42

No. Although you haven't paid me yet.

1:24:44

I think you remember I have paid

1:24:47

you actually. I've removed

1:24:49

the tourniquet. You

1:24:51

mean to tell me he's patched up this

1:24:54

horrible wound of mine. Oh,

1:24:56

the goodness of my heart. Sorry,

1:24:59

one more time. I

1:25:01

have come to consider you a friend,

1:25:03

Scrooge, I lie. One of those friends

1:25:05

that you only really... The acre is

1:25:08

a criminal. I'm doing it once a year,

1:25:10

you know. Sounds

1:25:13

a lot like you're going to get sliced in half with

1:25:15

a big bone size in a year if you

1:25:18

don't change your ways. Scrooge,

1:25:20

you did. Edvard, I

1:25:23

too have come to consider you

1:25:25

my best friend. Or

1:25:27

go to Edvard's house for a crimsonite feast on

1:25:30

Edvard. Or

1:25:35

a better idea. What about your

1:25:37

nephew Fred? You haven't seen him for a

1:25:40

while? Let's all go

1:25:42

to Fred's house for a crimsonite

1:25:44

feast on Fred. Wait, I

1:25:46

have an even better idea if you want to get not

1:25:48

sliced in half by a big bone size. You

1:25:51

should buy the plumpest goose in

1:25:54

the shop. Bring the bowl

1:25:56

of wine. Bring the bowl of rung out

1:25:58

wine. a

1:26:00

savings. Scrooge runs to the

1:26:02

window and thrusts it open and

1:26:04

he looks down at the crunched

1:26:06

up bums and says, you know

1:26:08

holly, is it still crimsonite?

1:26:11

There is no doubt it doesn't look

1:26:13

so neat, but it does look so

1:26:15

cute. Go

1:26:17

and buy the plumpest Christmas you

1:26:20

can and I shall make it

1:26:22

worth your while. As

1:26:26

the broken teeth kind of lift off

1:26:28

in the direction of the putches, Scrooge

1:26:31

starts galling things and you all

1:26:33

head to nephew Fred's. You are

1:26:35

not like people welcome by Fred's

1:26:38

but like you know it's crimsonite,

1:26:40

it's okay, it's alright and

1:26:43

indeed lessons were learned, wonderful

1:26:45

times were had. We get

1:26:48

paid. You get paid and

1:26:52

in the end, Scrooge, you

1:26:55

order here. It's

1:27:00

sliced out of my big boots. Happy

1:27:10

holiday. I

1:27:13

just think it's so pleasing to

1:27:15

me to end an

1:27:18

adventure like that with Scrooge

1:27:21

not really getting redeemed but

1:27:23

with the promise that he's going to be sized

1:27:25

clean in half a year hence

1:27:28

which I believe is the sort of

1:27:30

ending that we're left with. So yeah,

1:27:32

they didn't really achieve anything. But you

1:27:34

know. Christmas carols for the YouTube generation.

1:27:37

Christmas carols for the yeah exactly. Kids

1:27:40

today, they want people to be sized in

1:27:42

half at the end. I don't want redemption

1:27:44

arcs. I don't want redemption. The only arc

1:27:46

they want is the arc of a size

1:27:48

coming down through the middle of a main

1:27:50

character. Well it's all

1:27:52

in keeping with the Blades in the Dark aesthetic. It

1:27:54

is yeah. You've got to be consistent.

1:27:56

You've got to be coherent in your vision.

1:27:59

Yeah. Victorian, sure, but

1:28:01

a bit twisted. The

1:28:03

Victorians were pretty goth if I know

1:28:05

a thing or two about the Victorians.

1:28:08

Yeah, this was a really, really fun

1:28:10

one to run and Ellen and Andy

1:28:12

did such a spectacular job and of

1:28:14

course because it's a Christmas carol, it's

1:28:16

obvious from the get-go kind of what's

1:28:18

going to happen and I

1:28:20

think, I'm sure I may have

1:28:22

spoken about this before on this very podcast, but

1:28:25

I think there's a really good reason that people

1:28:28

running tabletop games tend to lean

1:28:30

on like tropes and I don't

1:28:32

want to say cliches, but like

1:28:34

established standards. Because

1:28:40

I just think it's more fun

1:28:42

for all involved if everyone has

1:28:44

a sense of where the

1:28:47

story is probably going from

1:28:49

all of the TV and movies and video

1:28:52

games that they've consumed over their lifetime. And

1:28:55

this is just a perfect neat example of

1:28:58

that because it's a Christmas carol, everyone knows

1:29:00

there are going to be three ghosts. Well

1:29:02

it's collaborative storytelling and you've got a sort of storytelling

1:29:04

guide rail. Yeah, yeah. Because you're like, okay, we all

1:29:06

know what we're doing now, even if we haven't, and

1:29:09

I'm sure you didn't tell Andy and

1:29:11

Ellen beforehand what we're going to do,

1:29:13

but just the kind of the

1:29:16

cultural footprint of Christmas carol is such

1:29:18

that everyone's like, yes, I immediately know

1:29:20

what we're doing. Yeah. And

1:29:23

if you want a kind of a sliding doors, what

1:29:25

if moment, I don't remember the context

1:29:27

for this, but just looking back at my notes

1:29:29

for this adventure at the bottom, I've written a

1:29:31

note to myself, which I think I probably would

1:29:33

have written on the day or just before we

1:29:35

started that says at the

1:29:38

end, perhaps they both wake up buried

1:29:40

alive. Question mark. Oh,

1:29:44

I don't think that ever happened, but

1:29:46

I guess I was thinking like, oh,

1:29:48

it looks like we're running short and we need a

1:29:50

little bit more adventure. How about everyone? Now,

1:29:53

now spend half an hour getting out of this.

1:29:55

Yeah. Yeah. Now

1:29:58

spend 20 minutes trying to figure your way out of a coffin. There you go. Okay,

1:30:00

okay. Brilliant. Hey, you know your worst

1:30:03

fear? Yeah. Let's put that

1:30:05

in the blog of the episode. I was, to be honest, like,

1:30:07

I really enjoyed running this one. I

1:30:10

think we were all just having fun with it. And it

1:30:12

was, as I remember at the time, I

1:30:14

was sort of putting the pieces together for the second season

1:30:16

of Blades in the Dark, which is

1:30:19

quite ambitious, or at

1:30:21

least for me, it was very ambitious storytelling.

1:30:24

And like, I really, really wanted to like,

1:30:26

close the story out and give it like

1:30:29

a proper ending and a proper plot and

1:30:31

some twists and some stuff like that. And

1:30:33

so I, like, my brain was just full,

1:30:35

full, full of all that rubbish. And

1:30:38

so, yeah, I think this was, I saw this

1:30:40

as a kind of like last chance to sort

1:30:42

of blow off steam and like do something that

1:30:44

was a little bit sort of silly and consequence

1:30:46

free. Christmas special, you know?

1:30:49

Yeah, a holiday for your imagination. Yeah,

1:30:51

yeah, exactly. It's my imagination's Christmas too.

1:30:55

Should it not also get treats? Yeah.

1:30:58

Yeah, and the treat is imagining Scrooge

1:31:00

being sized clean in half. Screws, yeah,

1:31:02

indeed. Yeah. Well,

1:31:04

I love it. It is now

1:31:06

jointly my favorite interpretation of

1:31:09

a Christmas carol with the Muppet classic,

1:31:12

obviously. Well, I mean, that is

1:31:14

the definitive reading of

1:31:17

that text, I think. God,

1:31:21

I love the Muppet Christmas carol. Have you watched it yet

1:31:23

this year? I actually watched it just

1:31:25

the other day, just the last weekend, so. Wonderful.

1:31:28

And it's perfection, obviously. It's so

1:31:30

good, it's so good. Well,

1:31:32

I had forgotten, I was feeling quite emotional at the

1:31:34

time, I had got quite a, I was feeling a

1:31:36

little under the weather, so I was feeling, you know,

1:31:38

in that sort of like yeah, induced

1:31:41

emotional state. And I had

1:31:44

forgotten that Michael Caine, obviously, beautifully

1:31:46

plays it straight the entire time.

1:31:48

Yeah. As if there are no

1:31:50

Muppets there, as if it's a serious dramatic role.

1:31:52

Yeah, the secret to why that film works,

1:31:55

like never, no wink to the camera at

1:31:57

all. Yes. But also, nearly.

1:32:00

constantly, apart from the very intro, nearly

1:32:02

constantly on the verge of tears himself.

1:32:04

Oh my God, yeah. His eyes are always

1:32:06

like sparkling from being, you know, from welling

1:32:08

up with tears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just

1:32:11

that human reaction to when you see someone

1:32:13

welling up with tears, you're also like, oh,

1:32:16

I'm so emotional right now. So it really

1:32:18

elicited a strong emotional reaction. And I was

1:32:20

like, this is the finest Christmas

1:32:22

movie ever made. Yeah. Did you

1:32:25

watch it on, you watched it on Disney Plus? I take it. I believe I

1:32:27

did, yes. As I

1:32:29

remember, they've got like a version on

1:32:31

there that has the song that they

1:32:33

cut added back in. I

1:32:35

don't know. You may not be aware of this

1:32:37

listeners, but if you are a

1:32:39

fan of the Muppet Christmas Carol, then they cut

1:32:41

a song from it. It's

1:32:43

the song that is still in the

1:32:46

end credits. It's like, the love is gone.

1:32:48

When love is gone. Oh, yes. Like

1:32:50

that one. That was the version I watched. I guess my

1:32:52

memory of it was not so vivid that I was like,

1:32:54

oh, this is a song that isn't in all the versions of

1:32:57

it. Yeah. Yeah. But

1:32:59

like, caving to fan pressure, they put it back

1:33:01

in because, but like, it is so

1:33:04

upsetting. That song is so sad. And like,

1:33:06

Michael Caine is just breaking

1:33:09

down in it. It's

1:33:11

just, oh man. Yeah. It's so,

1:33:14

so unbelievable. It's quite an unlikely Christmas

1:33:17

movie in a way in that it's full

1:33:19

of ghosts and death and also extremely

1:33:21

sad. Yeah. It's

1:33:24

also, even the Muppet one, the

1:33:27

Muppet is pretty scary. The

1:33:29

ghost of like Christmas past, I'm like,

1:33:31

oh, which Muppet will it be? Maybe

1:33:35

it'll be animal. Terrifying ghost baby. Yeah. And

1:33:37

then it's like, hello, I'm a porcelain doll. I've never been in the Muppet. We

1:33:42

made a new more terrifying Muppet. Yeah.

1:33:45

That Muppet never showed up in the Muppet show.

1:33:49

Oh, maybe the Swedish chef went, hello,

1:33:51

it's me. Touch my

1:33:53

tiny ceramic hands. Come

1:33:56

into the past. Don't think I will. Thanks.

1:33:58

Yeah. Marley and Marley song is

1:34:01

pretty intense. Oh, so good. Yeah,

1:34:03

yeah. Well, I mean... Yeah.

1:34:06

Just, I mean, the very concept. Yeah.

1:34:09

It's for children. I mean, it's not just for

1:34:11

children, but it's for children. Yes. Yeah,

1:34:13

these dudes are, you know, all in chains and

1:34:15

stuff. On the plus side, I

1:34:17

like that the moral of A Christmas Carol is

1:34:19

that... It's a bit like Deathbed Confession.

1:34:22

It's like, you can take it right up to the

1:34:24

end of your life. So, like... And

1:34:26

you? Is that the moral? Yeah, you

1:34:28

can be... You can Scrooge right up to the

1:34:30

end. And then, like, as long as pretty close

1:34:32

to the end, you're like, okay, now I'm going

1:34:34

to do Nice Christmas and be nice. It's

1:34:37

like, I don't know. How odd do you think Scrooge was,

1:34:39

though? I don't know. Well, due to, like, poor nutrition, he

1:34:41

was probably about 25. Oh, you think he only had another,

1:34:43

like, four or five Christmases left in him anyway.

1:34:45

Yeah. Well, well, when you see his,

1:34:48

like... When you see his... When everyone's, like, dividing

1:34:50

up his belongings, you get the impression that it's not

1:34:52

much further in the future. Oh, I

1:34:55

never thought of it that way. Yeah. I

1:34:57

imagine he's, like, only a few years

1:34:59

off dying... Oh, I see. In some

1:35:01

miserly way. So, Tiny Tim lives a

1:35:03

long, healthy life, but he just, like...

1:35:05

He's trying to pull

1:35:07

a penny out of the hands

1:35:10

of an orphan or something and falls

1:35:12

back within the Thames. Yeah, he gets shrank

1:35:14

or something. Oh, okay, yeah, all that. Yeah. Yeah.

1:35:18

Okay. All right. Well, but maybe he

1:35:20

finds a much longer, healthier life after embracing the joys of... I

1:35:22

hope so, I would think. Even Christmas. To

1:35:25

be honest, thinking about it, as I recall,

1:35:27

when he's in miser mode... Yeah.

1:35:29

His abstemious diet is actually quite healthsome. He's, like,

1:35:31

he'll just have a little bit of cheese and

1:35:34

bread and water. Mm. Whereas,

1:35:36

like, in Christmas mode, he's like... More

1:35:39

but more turkey. More but, like... Get

1:35:41

me that goose. Yeah, get me the goose. Yeah, he's a

1:35:43

big goose. That's an interesting fact. It's

1:35:45

probably not very good for you. It's

1:35:47

the Christmas lifestyle. When he says, I

1:35:50

want to keep Christmas in my heart every year round... In my heart. Yeah.

1:35:53

It's cholesterol. All year round.

1:35:56

Christmas is not something that you

1:35:58

should do all year round. Christmas is a

1:36:01

sometimes food. Yeah Christmas is yes Christmas

1:36:03

would it's the fatal dose really It's

1:36:06

the dose that makes the poison. Yeah, yeah,

1:36:08

why you're not allowed Christmas every day Yeah,

1:36:11

that's just too much Christmas to do it all year round So

1:36:14

it occurred to me watching them up It's Christmas Carol

1:36:16

is that Scrooge wakes up on on Christmas morning and

1:36:18

is like the spirits they did it all what all

1:36:20

in one Night they can do that, you know and

1:36:22

the orphans like sure Yeah, whatever. Yeah, and then goes

1:36:24

to get the goose the big goose, you know the

1:36:27

one that still hasn't sold on Christmas day Yeah, there's

1:36:29

something wrong with that goose. Yeah, right. It's

1:36:31

yeah on Christmas Day and And

1:36:34

then he turns up at the Cratchit house

1:36:36

It's gotta be mid-morning if not noon by

1:36:38

the time he turns up with

1:36:40

an uncooked goose a giant uncooked

1:36:43

Yeah, yeah, no one's eating until you

1:36:45

know late. I want to say 8 or

1:36:47

9 p.m. They got to cook it on

1:36:49

like Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what they've got like

1:36:51

they've got old tiny Victorian fire Yeah,

1:36:53

when they show up at the Cratchit house miss

1:36:56

Piggy should be like well Yeah

1:37:00

Thanks. I've just been cooking with small ducks

1:37:03

It's 4 o'clock yesterday. I hope everyone's looking

1:37:05

forward to tearing into a raw goose in

1:37:07

45 minutes Anyway,

1:37:11

otherwise a perfect movie. Yeah.

1:37:13

Yeah, no, it's still

1:37:15

perfect Yeah, that film

1:37:18

so much. Yeah, me too and Like

1:37:21

you say I appreciate the inside that it is

1:37:23

such a good structure to kind of hang

1:37:25

your particular You know kind

1:37:27

of flavor on yeah in that. It's like

1:37:29

a three-part story. It's got ghosts. It's got

1:37:32

time travel. Mm-hmm. It's got a moral Death

1:37:35

sort of yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know

1:37:38

it's got all I like a

1:37:40

Christmas Carol adaptation Because you

1:37:42

always know that the last ghost is gonna

1:37:45

be scary AF Yeah, you

1:37:47

don't know how they don't know how they're gonna

1:37:49

do for my money No, no, none is scarier

1:37:51

than the one in the Muppets Christmas Carol, which

1:37:53

is a sort of like Castlevania boss. Yeah.

1:37:56

Yeah, so with missing face

1:37:58

seven foot long arms Yeah,

1:38:00

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can

1:38:02

hear Castlevania boss music. Oh,

1:38:06

you're gonna have to

1:38:08

fight this guy through. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:38:11

Scrooge enters a large round arena. There's

1:38:13

a lot of ammo and health pickups

1:38:15

in the room prior. Oh, damn. And

1:38:17

then this goes to beer, yeah. Yeah,

1:38:20

yeah. Well,

1:38:22

congratulations on an extremely

1:38:24

nice festive Blades in the

1:38:26

Dark episode. Thank you. It was good fun and

1:38:28

thank you, listener, for listening to it. I appreciate

1:38:30

that. So you did that. That was nice. Oh,

1:38:32

something else I forgot to say. You

1:38:35

know, I did all, I made the music

1:38:37

for the Blades in the Dark. Well, I

1:38:39

remember spending quite a lot of time adding

1:38:41

jingle bells to the music for

1:38:44

this. Yeah. I don't, I

1:38:47

think it probably ended up like being way too subtle.

1:38:51

So you maybe even do it with it. So listen hard. So

1:38:53

like, yeah. The thing is, oh man, jingle

1:38:56

bells. It registers on a subliminal level. Yeah.

1:38:59

I think the jingles, you know,

1:39:01

your heart hears it. Jingle bells

1:39:03

present a very unique music production

1:39:05

challenge because they are so distracting.

1:39:10

Unless they are exactly the right volume, you either

1:39:12

can't hear them and they may as well not

1:39:14

be there or they're way too loud. And it's

1:39:16

just like all I can hear are these jingle

1:39:18

bells. Very, very hard. Every

1:39:20

occasion I've had to add jingle bells, it's

1:39:23

been a nightmare. It's ruined. A

1:39:25

knife edge. Yeah. The

1:39:27

jingle bells. Yeah. Yeah. Jingle

1:39:30

bell knife edge. That's why I would describe it. Yes. Amazing.

1:39:33

Well, if you've got a taste for Blades in the Dark as well, you should have.

1:39:36

Blades in the Dark season two will

1:39:38

be coming to the Oxford D&D podcast

1:39:40

in the new year. So please

1:39:43

look forward to more regular updates

1:39:46

from this podcast in your podcast.

1:39:48

Catcher, we've been away, but we're

1:39:50

back and we'll continue to be

1:39:52

back very soon. After

1:39:54

we've gotten all this like Christmas turkey and stuff out

1:39:56

of the way. Yeah. Happy holidays,

1:39:59

everyone. do yeah happy

1:40:01

holidays and yeah

1:40:03

go to youtube.com/Oxventure if you want

1:40:06

to check out some Oxventure videos

1:40:08

as well we'll see you soon

1:40:10

take care