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for everyone. What's your mince

0:49

pie count at time of recording?

0:52

My mince pie count? Like

0:54

how many I've had? Have you consumed?

0:56

Uh, like, only like two. Whoa,

0:59

okay. Because you know my rule, right? I

1:02

know Andy's rule. This is why, you know, Andy

1:05

will not eat a mince pie between, well,

1:08

in a month that's not December as far as I can

1:10

tell. Before the 1st of December. So on the 1st of December I

1:12

bought a pack of mince pies and I ate two of them and

1:14

they were very nice. They're really

1:16

good. But the occasion hasn't

1:18

arisen since then to have any more

1:20

mince pies. The spirit

1:22

hasn't entered your heart yet. Yeah, someone, okay, someone.

1:24

To eat more mince pies than is healthy.

1:27

Someone walking ahead of me exhaled a huge cloud of

1:29

vape that I think was mince pie scented. Oh,

1:32

oh, oh, we can count that. Does that count? We

1:34

can count that as half a mince pie and also

1:36

count that as the reason you haven't eaten any since

1:38

because that's kind of gross. How

1:42

would you, how would you define a mince

1:44

pie for our listeners that perhaps

1:46

don't have mince pies as a regular holiday food?

1:48

Yeah, so it's like a pastry pie,

1:50

like a small pie, like a dessert

1:52

pie, a fruit pie. Kind

1:56

of like a Hostess fruit pie, I guess, would be

1:58

the closest thing. And

2:01

then inside is a sort of very

2:03

dark very rich mincemeat which is Mincemeat

2:06

of course is not a meat.

2:08

No, it's like raisins and nuts

2:10

and fruit and everything sort of

2:13

boiled down into a sort of slurry Traditional

2:17

British foods are so horrible disgusting. It's

2:19

a fruit pie. Let's say it's a

2:22

festive fruit pie and leave it at that

2:24

kind of spiced tasty fruit pie Yeah

2:28

Okay, I've only I've only had one but it is

2:30

very big and delicious and it was a crumb

2:32

top pie Oh, I think I have like a pastry top.

2:34

It has like a kind of sprinkling of yeah I think

2:36

I might that might be the same one I had. Oh Well,

2:39

it had like it was like orange and yeah,

2:41

Brandy and orange and orange. That was it. Yeah

2:43

the same one Right

2:49

welcome to the Oxford D&D pod. Oh, yeah,

2:51

that's over here not to talk not to

2:53

welcome to our pie review podcast The

2:56

pie guy we're called four out

2:58

of five to the cranberry and orange crumb

3:00

top pie. Yeah Put

3:03

your ratings in the comments

3:05

of this podcast. Excellent mouthfeel.

3:07

Yeah, we'll be back at you next week with another pie

3:09

review But

3:12

the Oxford D&D podcast which we

3:14

are by degrees coming is a

3:17

D&D podcast In

3:19

which we listen to episodes of Oxford D&D

3:21

and talk about them and

3:23

in this very special festive episode We're

3:25

listening to our most recent Christmas special

3:27

which was recorded at MCM Birmingham at

3:29

the start of December. That's right So

3:31

it's a live audience

3:34

Episode and we're bringing it

3:36

to you now here at the at

3:38

the very tail end of the year here at the end

3:40

of all things Yeah, well you've got nothing else to

3:42

do go pretend like you

3:44

do so listen to this podcast Oh

3:46

Andy, that's not true. Everyone's got so I've got so

3:49

much to do and I'm sure everyone is Yeah,

3:51

but when they're listening when they're listening to this, oh

3:53

by the time that you're listening to this Yeah, stop

3:55

working for the end of the break if

3:58

you're wrapping gifts while listening To

4:00

this episode. Yeah, then I feel you

4:02

because I've got a lot of I got a

4:04

lot of gifts to wrap a lot of gifts

4:06

to Wrap. Yeah, and it's not it's not acceptable

4:08

to just give people gifts in a plastic bag.

4:11

Is it apparently? I look nice paper

4:13

bag. Okay, if it's nice. Hmm.

4:16

Yeah wine you can put in a bag.

4:18

Yeah, you can yeah Yeah,

4:20

you can't just give people a book

4:23

in a plastic bags in the bookshop

4:25

you bought it from No,

4:29

that's how you lose friends Andy. I know you talked about

4:31

it just endless isn't it? Yeah Speaking

4:34

of gifts that segues us

4:36

smoothly frictionally on to the

4:39

theme of this week

4:41

episode That's right. Yeah Clear

4:45

and present danger. Hmm. Get

4:47

it. If you don't get it, you will get

4:49

it. Yeah. Yeah, you get it thoughts feelings vibes

4:53

Well, some I think sometimes Johnny

4:56

they they struggle with not struggle with but

4:58

sort of forget that we we're like, hey,

5:01

let's do a themed An

5:03

Xmas themed episode. They're like, yeah, yeah,

5:05

and then we get to the thing that I don't know It's

5:07

not Xmas themed in any way. So you may notice me sort

5:09

of Desperately trying

5:11

to wrench the story back to

5:14

the whole season. Okay, but Yeah,

5:18

I think I think we get there. I think

5:20

it's seasonally appropriate Is

5:22

that something you're willing to admit to here

5:24

on on tape? Yeah, I

5:26

mean, okay. I love I love Christmas

5:29

themed episodes of things. Hmm, maybe Maybe

5:32

Johnny less so I think

5:34

they're quite and I mean this

5:36

with love I think Christmas episodes can be

5:38

kind of kind of cheesy kind of go.

5:40

Yeah, absolutely Is

5:43

an artist yes, and we're like Johnny,

5:45

please Can

5:48

we do a Christmas special? Please

5:50

lower yourself. Yeah, and they're like

5:52

fine. Yeah. Well, I appreciate

5:54

them doing that. I like

5:57

the light the light

5:59

theming And

6:01

it's all taking place at Wintermas or whatever.

6:04

Yes, Winter Vale, Winterfest.

6:07

The Winter Festival. Solstice,

6:09

Winter Solstice, I believe is canonically.

6:11

What the Hogsmas, what's it called?

6:13

Hogwatch, that's it from Terry Pratchett.

6:16

Yeah, Winter Solstice in the world of

6:18

Geth. Yeah, every fantasy universe

6:20

has it. Sure. And

6:23

we're no different. What's

6:25

it called in World of Warcraft? Winter

6:28

Vale, I believe. Winter Vale. Winter Vale.

6:31

See, that's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah.

6:34

Right. So we are going to listen

6:36

to Clear and Present Danger shortly.

6:39

And then after that we're going to come back

6:41

and talk about it and how much fun we

6:43

had. So, get ready. Oh, also,

6:45

before we dive in, well,

6:48

this is quite the

6:50

running order, Jane. I just wanted to say, thanks

6:52

for bearing with us. We haven't had an Oxford

6:54

Daily Podcast regularly for a

6:56

little while. But we plan

6:58

in the new year to get right back into

7:01

the swing of things with weekly episodes of the

7:03

podcast. So, if you have been hankering after fresh

7:05

episodes, then please bear with us. They will be

7:07

with us soon. We're going to do all kinds

7:09

of things. We're going to have some one-shot

7:12

wonders. We're going to have some Blades in the

7:14

Dark. We're going to have some more D&D. It's

7:17

all happening. It's all happening in 2024. Please

7:20

look forward to it. Yeah, keep it locked to the

7:22

Ox Venture. And

7:24

without further ado, let's listen to Clear and Present Danger and then come

7:26

back and talk about it. Three. Hi. Hello.

7:42

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Ox Venture.

7:44

Hi, I'm Corazon De Baena, the party

7:46

rogue. Imagine Asterion from... The party rogue.

7:49

Yeah, the party rogue. Party rogue. But

7:51

imagine Asterion from Baldur's Gate with

7:54

a different hair colour, not a sexy or cool and

7:56

not a vampire. That's like my deal. I'm Egbert the

7:58

Dragonborn Party. Now then, imagine

8:01

exactly my custom Baldur's Gate 3

8:03

character. Can do. I'm

8:08

Prudence, the Tiefling Warlock, and I'm not

8:10

in Baldur's Gate. Shame on that.

8:14

Where's Neil and Yvonne? I'm

8:17

Dov, the Half-Ork Bard, and I'll just say,

8:19

keep an eye on the DLC. I

8:22

can't say more. I mustn't say more.

8:26

Legally, I'm not allowed to say more. Legally,

8:29

please stay away from Larry and Studios. And

8:33

I am Marilyn of Wood After Wood,

8:35

and I am every cat in Baldur's

8:38

Gate 3. Oh,

8:40

no way of disproving that. Greetings.

8:43

I am literally everyone else in

8:45

this legally distinct world that is

8:47

not Baldur's Gate 3. Yay!

8:53

So, let's get straight into

8:55

it, shall we? This

8:57

adventure, it is... well, it is the

8:59

night before the Winter Solstice, a wonderful

9:02

festival for those who enjoy celebrating the

9:04

return of the light after,

9:06

you know, a long and dreary winter. You

9:09

are in the town of Brimmingham. You

9:11

are in an inn, and you cannot sleep. Or

9:14

if you are in an elf, you are

9:17

unable to maintain your weird four hours of

9:19

trance that takes place instead of

9:21

sleep. It's kind of like you just shut

9:24

down for four hours, I imagine. Yeah.

9:26

Why can't we sleep? Because there

9:29

is a tremendous noise coming from somewhere outside,

9:31

which is kind of just a mournful... Rrrr!

9:35

Sort of like pained bellowing noise. Did I

9:37

eat too much the night before? Yeah,

9:40

but this is unrelated. Folks,

9:43

I can't sleep. I'm so excited about all the presents

9:45

you're gonna get me, Sir, for Winter Solstice. Rrrrr!

9:49

I'm excited to give you your presents, Corazon, and

9:51

that reminds me, are any

9:53

shops open right now? I don't

9:55

suppose there's like a petrol station where you could pick up

9:57

a bunch of flowers in this fantasy world that we live

9:59

in. There's

10:03

a waystation where you can sort of, yeah, you

10:05

can get hay for horses and... Right, and a

10:07

top... Now that's what I

10:09

call music. Yeah. That's

10:11

a really... I don't know! Really sad

10:13

flowers that have been wilted by the fumes that come

10:16

out of horses, yeah. Remembering that I have... Single-use bard

10:18

who will just sing the songs and then die. Yeah.

10:21

Remembering that I haven't got chorus on a present. Can

10:23

I head... Is that the sound? That's

10:25

the sound. Can I head? Can

10:30

I head outside into the night looking

10:32

for the waystation where I might pick

10:34

up a sort of off-brand Paw Patrol

10:36

or something? Yes, absolutely. Cool.

10:38

Well, you go outside and if there

10:40

are any businesses open at this time

10:43

of night, they are not

10:45

currently serving because everybody is outside kind

10:47

of in their gym jams with their

10:49

nightcaps, people holding up candles and lanterns

10:52

and just sort of looking around, also trying to find

10:54

the source of this noise, which now you're

10:56

outside is loud enough to

10:58

shake the walls of all

11:00

of the buildings in Brimmingham. Maybe

11:03

a perception check, please, Dov. Oh, no.

11:07

Always ready. 17

11:09

plus... Well,

11:13

let's call it 17. Okay. No,

11:16

it's 3020. 3020, great. You

11:18

can tell that the noise is coming from out

11:20

of town, somewhere over the

11:22

next rise, somewhere to the northeast, and

11:25

it sounds organic in nature. Dov,

11:29

did you get me something organic in nature?

11:32

Yes, but that's not it. Oh!

11:37

Um, oh, okay. Has

11:41

anyone seen Seal Gaming? He's

11:44

right here. Can I cast...? He's like sleeping

11:46

cap on. Yeah. He was

11:48

trying to think... All night down. Can I cast

11:50

message to Meryl Wen? Meryl Wen! Mm-hmm.

11:53

It's Dov outside. I know everyone's

11:55

told me off for messaging in the middle of the

11:57

night when I can't sleep. Yeah. Are

11:59

you asleep? No, we've talked this

12:01

through. I don't sleep. I go into a trance.

12:05

Oh, sorry. When you say L things, it's very

12:07

hard to... It doesn't matter. Yes. There's

12:11

a sound, and I think it's an animal. Do you

12:13

want to... Can you... Have you ever heard this sound

12:15

before? That sound... Oh!

12:19

I'm hearing it from inside this building, yes. OK.

12:21

Well, outside I can tell the direction from which

12:23

it's coming, and I think it's some kind of

12:25

beast. Yeah, sounds like it.

12:28

Well, I'll come join you. I'll come join you.

12:32

Oh, my God. I find you a animal in

12:34

distress. You're not interested. I am

12:37

interested. I won't tell you next time I find an

12:39

animal in distress. You simply put

12:41

it out of its misery. Yeah. Regardless of the level

12:43

of distress. Well, I trod on this squirrel on my

12:46

way over. A mildly perturbed squirrel.

12:48

You just flatten it. I'm going

12:50

to wake the others up because they

12:52

haven't got me any presents either, and we're going to

12:54

the... We're going to the way station if you wanted

12:56

to pick me something up. OK. Yeah. Prudence,

12:58

you want to come and get me your presents, too? I'm

13:01

furious. Having had my sleep interrupted,

13:04

I'm wearing the robe. You know,

13:06

the robe that comes in the tavern. Sure,

13:08

yeah, yeah, yeah. And the slippers. And the slippers. Yeah, yeah,

13:10

yeah. Well, you're up now. You may as well come

13:12

along. Fine. I'm going to bring

13:14

these two down with me. Nice.

13:17

We're in the street. All

13:19

right, we're all here. Hello, everyone. You taking

13:22

us to see my present? Yes.

13:25

Great. Let's go. Let's go. Oh,

13:27

boy, Corazon, you're going to love it. I

13:30

messaged Marilwen. Marilwen, pretend that the thing, whatever

13:32

it is, pretend it's a present that I

13:34

got for Corazon. OK.

13:36

And, and, and play along and pretend

13:38

that you helped me pick it out.

13:41

Oh, well, I've already got him a present, actually.

13:44

I know, but you helped me buy my

13:46

present for Corazon. Oh, OK. I helped you

13:48

make the decision. Yes. All

13:52

right. Let's go towards the sound. Okey-dokey.

13:54

It is really not difficult to track

13:57

this thing because it is making like

13:59

earth-shakingly loud. groaning noises so

14:01

I won't even make you roll for this you

14:03

you go over the next rise out of town

14:06

and you see there is sort of like an

14:08

opening in a forest sort of

14:10

a glade if you will kind of like

14:12

you know how like a river has a mouth it's kind of

14:14

just like the opening of a forest here and

14:16

sort of splayed out absolutely

14:19

gargantuan is a giant

14:22

lying on its side like this and just going whoa

14:30

I know I said I wanted a giant

14:32

present I didn't think you would take it

14:34

quite so literally yeah even wrap it merrill

14:38

when you helped me

14:40

choose it pick

14:42

it out yeah you didn't tell me I had to

14:44

do all the wrapping as well well

14:47

I thought you would wrap it in vines

14:49

or something organic no no okay all right

14:51

well Corazon I'm sorry that it's not a

14:53

surprise but yes here's the giant you asked

14:55

for what does he do I give him

14:57

an experimental kick what is he where are

14:59

you kicking him to give you an idea

15:01

of the size of this giant he's

15:04

got his face so his cheek flat on

15:06

the floor you could stack every single ox

15:08

venturer on top of one another

15:10

and it still wouldn't be the width of

15:12

his mouth this is a gargantuan this giant

15:14

is a great place to stack your ox

15:17

venturin in

15:22

the arm I guess oh who's

15:28

picking harco I

15:31

guess I'm your new owner

15:33

harco you're my holiday present

15:36

so what do you do do I dance or

15:38

whoa what's the matter why are you

15:40

moaning it's keeping the town up oh

15:42

your what hurts like

15:45

Tommy Tommy yeah okay

15:51

what's all this about you

15:53

own harco what he

15:56

said over there the green one can

15:58

I send a message to harco Yeah,

16:00

alright. Hi,

16:03

Harco. Hello! He says out

16:05

loud. Harco.

16:09

Yeah? Please stop

16:11

responding out loud. What? Okay,

16:15

Harco, I'm just going to say this in one thing so you don't need to talk

16:17

back, okay? Okay. We've

16:22

not met before, but you would

16:24

be doing me a huge seasonal

16:26

favour. If you could just pretend

16:28

that you were a gift acquired

16:30

by me for that pirate-looking fella.

16:33

Make me a persuade roll. I will

16:36

make a wisdom insight roll. I

16:42

don't even need the screen really when I'm that easy to read, but

16:44

hey. Another Dirty 20. Great.

16:46

I rolled a one. He...

16:50

he... He

16:52

winks at you. He is

16:54

so massive that, yeah, there's

16:57

a breeze as his eyelid goes... If

17:00

you know any seasonal songs, maybe

17:03

sort of mutter one now, then I can

17:05

say that you're a sort of, you know,

17:07

singing giant. Singing giant, Graham.

17:09

I am Harco, definitely

17:12

a present for the

17:15

pirate-looking fella. Aww.

17:18

Yeah. Wow, job,

17:20

thanks. Nothing. Well,

17:24

maybe we should help Harco out, seeing as it's

17:26

the season of goodwill. I only

17:28

paid for ten minutes, am I right? Well,

17:31

okay, well, what's the... what's... your tummy just hurts?

17:33

Did you eat anything? Oh, Harco

17:36

eats a lot of things, but

17:39

they don't normally make me fall down

17:41

and want to die. Hmm.

17:44

And I don't want to die, but

17:46

I sort of do because it hurts.

17:50

Job, this gift is defective. I hope you kept

17:52

the receipt. It's gonna die. You got a dying

17:54

giant. It delivered its

17:56

song. Oh, it's like a... Now,

17:58

it's Corazam's problem if he dies. Please

18:02

help Harco. Yeah, we

18:04

should do, we should help Harco. Yeah. I

18:08

want to bring Solstice cheer

18:10

to Brimmingham. Hear

18:13

the horns of joy in the town.

18:15

And to be fair Harco, you can't

18:17

do that if you are just a...

18:19

I'm lying down feeling like I'm like

18:22

shush, like I'm dying. I

18:24

feel like the problem's working its way down as

18:26

the jester's there. I

18:29

would like to search my medical

18:31

knowledge and see if I know

18:33

anything about giants in the economy.

18:35

Okey-dokey. What would

18:37

that be, skills-wise? Medicine.

18:39

Medicine? Yeah, maybe a medicine roll.

18:41

It's like wisdom, right? Yeah,

18:44

yeah. Alright. That's

18:46

four. Okay. You know there's a lot

18:48

of bits in a giant. All

18:50

sorts of bits. And one of

18:52

them, or more, has gone wrong. Yep.

18:57

Can I place my... It's

18:59

worth a go. Can I place my

19:01

hands on Harco's belly

19:03

and cast Cure Wounds?

19:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's

19:12

the sound of the spell. Like

19:15

an approaching truck. Okay,

19:21

I will cast it. Yep.

19:24

I'm sending it out a big old slot. Okay.

19:28

Yeah, Harco heals 27 points of damage.

19:31

Argh! It

19:35

still hurts. It

19:37

feels like you're treating

19:40

the synonyms

19:44

not the cause of

19:47

Harco's discomfort. Okay.

19:49

What did you eat, Harco? Lots!

19:52

Lots. Lots of specific.

19:55

Oh, man and beast,

19:58

stone and twigs. I was

20:01

like, uh, enemies in

20:04

general, um, a

20:06

brewery. I

20:10

was thirsty. Harko,

20:12

maybe open your mouth and we can have a

20:15

look inside and see. Yeah.

20:17

Okay. Well, Harko, is

20:20

the pain sort of... Can

20:22

you point on your tummy? Where is it? Oh,

20:25

it's sort of here.

20:27

Okay. What's

20:31

the fastest route to there? You

20:35

say open mouth. He

20:38

opens his mouth. An enormous cavern

20:41

stands before you. A

20:43

big, like purple tongue just

20:45

lollips onto the floor with a

20:47

smash, sending up gouts of earth.

20:49

Almost as if inviting you in. Does

20:53

it smell good? No.

20:56

It feels better than the other way in, I suppose. Maybe

21:00

we should flip the party. I

21:05

was deathly afraid of this joke. And

21:08

there it is, not ten minutes in. All

21:10

right. I

21:12

say we go inside and find

21:14

the cause of the problem, because this is really

21:16

ruining the resale value of my giant. If

21:19

only it does his lie around and moan. Like

21:22

that, exactly. Yeah, yeah,

21:24

for sure. Appreciating right now. Look at

21:27

him. Yep. I'm

21:29

halfway up the tongue. Everyone else? Up, heading

21:31

inside this giant? Yeah. No. You're

21:34

in your robe with your... I'm sorry. I can't breathe inside a

21:36

giant. Hey, that's a great point. How are you going to breathe

21:38

inside that giant? How was I going to breathe inside it?

21:41

Prudence, absolutely astounding

21:43

that you would think I had a

21:45

plan for that. I

21:49

can't believe you're all forgetting that at night...

22:00

space comes down to the ground in

22:02

death so you've all got personal oxygen

22:04

supplies. It is canon and

22:06

I'm determined to make it stick. We got

22:08

that didn't you Prune? I

22:12

also have more... well I guess I have

22:15

no further reservations. Or impediments

22:17

to climbing inside this giant. Harco

22:20

is it okay if we climb inside you and medicate

22:22

you from the inside? Yeah! Alright

22:26

cool. Yeah, alright I head in.

22:28

Yeah, I'm gonna follow Dov. Thread lightly

22:30

on the whatever does a gag reflex. I don't

22:32

know exactly what it is. Right,

22:35

yes you enter a large and

22:37

spongy entrance hall. It

22:39

is lined with absolutely gargantuan

22:41

teeth between which

22:43

several things are stuck and rotting.

22:47

There is an entire oak tree. There

22:51

is the corpse of what looks like it was once an

22:53

elephant. In the

22:55

roof of the mouth there's a bolt

22:57

from what looks like an absolutely massive

22:59

ballista. Like a real big siege weapon

23:02

kind of thing. The air

23:04

is rank, the ground is squelchy beneath your feet

23:06

and ahead of you there is a tunnel. Which

23:09

immediately splits into two. You

23:11

have a choice of left pass or

23:14

right pass. Make me

23:16

a perception check please. Okay. 30.

23:20

20. 5

23:25

minus 1 is 4. And

23:28

who said you weren't wise, Eggman? Okay,

23:31

so those of you who got

23:34

over a 10. The tunnels

23:36

have distinct sort of qualities to them.

23:38

I mean, all under the umbrella

23:40

term, gross. The tunnel

23:42

on the left is quite drafty. There

23:44

is an intermittent breeze that kind of

23:46

wafts in and out there. The

23:49

right tunnel is not quite so

23:51

drafty. A foul odor emanates from that.

23:54

Eggman, you have just realised you're in a

23:56

mouth. Oh my

23:58

god. Okay. Then

24:02

we got an air hole and a food hole. What

24:06

do you call me? Slow

24:08

down Egghead. So

24:11

you think we should go in the food hole? You

24:13

should go in the food hole. Are you going to

24:15

hang out in the mouth? Yeah, I'm going to... Just

24:17

chill in the lungs for a bit. The

24:20

air hole's got to be less disgusting than the food

24:22

hole. The problem could

24:24

be in either hole. Where is the

24:26

giant's lungs? It's not here. That's

24:29

where... that's where our core...

24:32

Yeah, it was in his... said it was his

24:34

tummy, didn't he? His tummy area. Yes, but if the

24:36

lungs were in the wrong place, that could be

24:38

the problem. That

24:41

is a wandering lung. If his lungs

24:43

were in his tummy, that would

24:45

be a serious medical problem. You ever accidentally eaten a lung?

24:48

I wouldn't recommend it. Tummy

24:50

lung is one of the leading causes of

24:52

death of giants and guests, so... Okay,

24:55

well I think we should go to the tummy because,

24:57

you know, that's where the problem was. I'm

25:01

in agreement with Corazon. Alright.

25:03

I'm in a mouth. Yes. Yeah,

25:06

no, you're just realising that? It's

25:09

a tongue underneath. What?! Yeah.

25:13

I know it's wild, right? I'm really

25:15

struggling with this. Harco? Yeah!

25:17

Everyone make me a DC-15 debt

25:19

saving throw right now. You

25:23

can talk to Harco at any time by sending

25:25

a message or by yelling, but you are going

25:27

to have to make this check every time he

25:29

replies. Great.

25:32

You keep your feet. You

25:35

fall on your ass. You

25:37

keep your feet? Yes. 15. You keep

25:39

your feet. You fall

25:41

prone on your back. You just land

25:43

on a spongy tongue and get covered in saliva. Right

25:46

now, you don't take any damage. What do

25:48

you mean right now? Well, you could have fallen over into

25:50

something worse. Oh, okay. Right. You

25:52

don't mean I'm going to be digested slowly over time by his

25:54

saliva. Well, it depends how far you get in the dungeon. Giant.

25:57

Excuse me. Can't

26:01

wait to wake up, I think, to myself. Anyway,

26:03

onward to the tummy! I'm

26:06

stried purposefully towards the stomach. Okay.

26:09

Oh, were you going to say anything else to Harco?

26:12

I was going to ask which of us tastes best. You

26:15

can taste us all right now. Out of curiosity,

26:17

who tastes best? But you can't see us, because

26:19

we're inside his mouth. We can jump one at

26:22

a time. Which

26:24

one tastes flame grilled?

26:27

DC15, deck saving throw please.

26:31

Eight. Keep him

26:33

coming. Oh,

26:35

because he's talking, right? Yeah. Four.

26:39

Seven. Twenty.

26:43

Fifteen. The two of you keep your feet, everyone else,

26:45

like, whoop! Straight on your backs again. Maybe

26:47

just stay there for the rest of the conversation. He's

26:50

asked you which one tastes flame grilled. Probably

26:52

me, right? Probably Eggbert, yeah. Is

26:55

Eggbert or Bruton? Yeah.

26:58

Cool. One of those two, no need to reply.

27:00

Thanks. Onwards!

27:05

Right, let's slide down. What's

27:07

the diameter of the

27:09

food tube? Enormous. I'm

27:11

going to say... The

27:18

height of this lighting rig. Okay. Apologies

27:21

if you're watching this on YouTube after the fact. It's high,

27:23

if you want. It's high up. It's

27:25

a big old tunnel. Wait, I know a quicker way

27:28

down. Harco, swallow. Oh

27:31

my God. Yeah,

27:34

sure. The tongue

27:36

kind of like raises up and boom!

27:38

You are all swallowed by a giant.

27:40

So unhappy. Welcome to

27:42

the first stomach, everybody. First stomach?

27:45

Yes, make me a medicine check,

27:47

please. That's wisdom again, isn't it?

27:50

Yeah. Seven minus one is six. Okay.

27:54

Well, I'll tell you anyway. Giants

27:57

have several stomachs, which aids in

27:59

digestion. as much of their food

28:01

is too small to bother chewing, such as

28:03

yourselves. So that actually makes sense. Yeah, you

28:05

remember this actually as you arrive in the

28:08

first stomach, because as a result of this

28:10

sort of just straight swallowing into the first

28:12

stomach thing, a lot of the giant's

28:14

food seems to make it here alive. As

28:17

you sort of arrive, there is a small amount

28:19

of stomach acid pooling around everyone's feet, and

28:22

there's an aracakra in the corner that's been

28:24

cornered by four wolves, and he has

28:26

a spear in his hands, and he's going, get back! Get

28:28

back here! Get back here! And there

28:30

are four wolves circling an aracakra. Which

28:33

is a bird man, if you're unfamiliar.

28:35

What do? A cast animal friendship. All

28:38

right. On the wolves. Not fair, Tess.

28:40

Okay. Very offensive. Is

28:46

that a saving throw from me? Annoyingly, I have no internet access,

28:48

so I can't look up the spells. If

28:50

the beast's intelligence is four or higher, the

28:52

spell fails. Otherwise, the beast must succeed on a

28:55

wisdom saving throw. Okay. What's your

28:57

self-advocacy? It is 15, I believe.

29:00

That is actually legit

29:02

a fail. I rolled a 19. I'm

29:04

sorry. The wolves continue to sort of snap

29:06

at this aracakra. One

29:09

of them looks at you and goes, SUT OFF! And then they... At

29:17

the wolves. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

29:19

Oh! Oh, an interest! No! No! Hey! I've

29:22

been cornered by four wolves in this

29:24

cave! All right. I'd like to kind

29:26

of try and knit through and get

29:28

to the birdman and turn around on the wolves.

29:31

Okay. I don't know. And do this pose.

29:34

Can you make me a Dex acrobatics

29:37

check, please, to avoid an attack

29:41

of opportunity? Oh, so Nat 20! Describe

29:45

this. You have just managed to glide

29:47

past four wolves attempting to eat a

29:49

birdman as if they were nothing. What's

29:52

it look like? Okay. You know the

29:54

opening to ye olde Tomb Raider? Yes.

29:57

With lots of flipping around all the wolves. Yeah,

29:59

yeah. Basically that but without the

30:01

guns. Okay, cool. Without the

30:03

shooty bang sticks. So

30:06

yeah, just like kind of, I

30:09

kind of duck underneath one of the

30:11

walls, like through their legs, and

30:13

like line with a, ha, at the end.

30:16

The walls all look kind of taken aback by this. They

30:18

give a couple of feet. And one of them looks

30:20

embarrassed to have been nutmegged by a wood elf. Ha ha

30:23

ha ha ha ha. There are four walls

30:25

now, kind of like not sure what's going on, looking at

30:27

a sconce at one another. All

30:29

right, the four of us stab a wolf each

30:31

while they're distracted. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah,

30:34

you know what they are. Yeah, you would surprise them.

30:36

I'll give you that. Okay, I use

30:38

my magical earring of message, which

30:41

I still have, remember. Did Luke give

30:44

you that, or did I give you that? Yeah, Luke, I

30:46

think Luke gave you that. Cheers,

30:48

yep. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yikes,

30:50

yep, magical earring of message, fine. How

30:52

does everyone feel about stabbing these walls

30:54

while they're distracted? Seems

30:56

like a good time just to have a wolf. I'm

30:58

already stabbing a wolf. Ha ha ha ha

31:00

ha ha. All right, all of you, make me

31:03

an attack roll on a wolf. I'm a class

31:05

13, everybody. Ooh,

31:07

13. Mm-hmm. Oh, nice. When?

31:15

Ooh. Okay,

31:18

I'm gonna think about that.

31:21

Just gonna cogitate on that one.

31:25

What come to you last? Roll me damage, those of you

31:27

who hit. Actually, roll

31:29

me damage as well, please, Dop. Ha

31:31

ha ha ha. I'm gonna sneak

31:33

attack for this, right? Yeah, so of course you can use

31:35

sneak attack for this. It's the sneakiest attack that ever did

31:37

sneak. I'm not gonna use my mace just in

31:40

case this wolf turns into something worse than a wolf. Can

31:42

I hit it with a crowbar? You have a

31:45

crowbar? Why do you have a crowbar? We all

31:47

have a crowbar, don't we? In your adventures. Oh,

31:49

oh, touche, yeah, fine. All right, cool. I didn't

31:51

expect you to have anything to back it up

31:53

with. Ha ha ha. What

31:56

would the damage be on a crowbar? I don't

31:58

know. Ha ha, you're on a crowbar. This didn't till

32:01

20 seconds ago. Should we do 2d8

32:03

piercing? What do you reckon? Yes! Yes,

32:06

sure! Sure, it's the self-stiff. Why

32:08

not? It's the pointy end. That's your

32:10

self-stiff gift. Everyone gets one. Glad we

32:12

agree. You know what? And that's your

32:14

birthday present. Oh, what? Yeah. Uh,

32:17

so damn it. Worst thing about having a January birthday.

32:19

Roll your damage. I have. Nine.

32:22

Okay. Um, I've

32:24

got a stiletto knife that I almost never

32:26

use. I feel like the damage is like,

32:28

just something rubbish. Yeah, but it doesn't have a bulb on

32:31

the end that fills up with blood. Oh, it's

32:33

true. So that's... I fill it with blood. Hey,

32:35

free wolf blood. But I feel like you've got

32:37

daggers. They're like d4, aren't they? Yeah, they're not

32:39

great. They're not great. Let's call it 2d4. Alright.

32:41

It's meant to be a decent dagger. Alright,

32:44

well that is... Probably we're negotiating over damage

32:46

steps. Two, two, please. Two, two.

32:48

Two. Oh, two. Just

32:50

two. So nine, two, and... Twenty-nine.

32:53

Twenty-nine, right. Well,

32:56

you've killed your wolf twice over with

32:59

seven to spare. Can we carry over some

33:01

of the killings to one of ours? Well...

33:03

You have to go through one wolf and

33:05

into the next wolf. AOE killing. I know

33:07

what. I'm gonna allow it.

33:10

Um, so, Egbert, you basically... You

33:12

bring your crowbar down on the back of this

33:14

wolf, which kind of folds into, like, your closing

33:16

a book. It's not dead, but to all

33:18

intents and purposes. Yes, it is. Okay.

33:22

Uh, Jane is now feeling a little bit lightheaded because

33:24

it's lost some blood. Sorry, uh, prudent. It's not Jane.

33:27

Um, it is, like, it's in, like, a quarter

33:29

of the way dead. And it's got another... It's

33:31

got a dead wolf stapled to it. By

33:34

a rapier. That'll help. Um, Dub,

33:36

you lunge forward and, uh... What

33:39

was your damage, Ron? Fifteen. Okay. Wow.

33:42

Um, you, like, straight to the

33:44

hilt, just, like, in the wall

33:47

of Harco's tummy. Just

33:49

bury your... your rapier. Oh, okay. Uh,

33:52

he understandably goes, OOOOHHHH! So

33:54

I would like a DC-15 Dex

33:57

saving throw from everybody's knees. Oh,

34:02

I just closed the tab, I hope that wasn't important. Lovely.

34:09

Alright. A 3020 as well. No.

34:14

Okey dokey. Listen, you're only in

34:16

the first stomach, so it's only 1 DA acid

34:18

damage, but you do take five points of acid

34:20

damage to your front.

34:24

So it's kind of like an acid peel. So

34:27

long, nipples. Well,

34:35

the good news is the wolves don't really fancy fighting anymore.

34:39

The Arachocra has actually taken to

34:41

wing when Harco screamed and the ground

34:43

started shaking. What's he doing getting cornered

34:45

if he's got wings? Yeah. Well,

34:48

there are four of them. You know wolves can jump. Yes,

34:51

but not infinitely. Also,

34:53

I'm tired. I'm very tired.

34:57

I've been in this cave for two weeks.

35:00

I was flying around in the foothills of

35:02

my home territory when something snapped me out of

35:04

the air and stuck me into a tunnel.

35:06

And then I arrived in this

35:08

cave and then it was very boring,

35:10

apart from occasionally a tidal wave of

35:13

liquid flies through here. So I had

35:15

to fly to avoid that. Very tiring.

35:18

And then yesterday, four wolves appeared.

35:20

And I've been fighting them ever since. So

35:22

thank you for the rescue, but apologies that

35:24

I wasn't flying constantly for the last fourteen

35:26

days. Wow, you seem uninformed, friend. There wasn't

35:29

bad news for you. What? You

35:31

owe me rent. This is my giant. He

35:38

can have inspiration for that. Charisma

35:40

for Slazian check, please. You can do this

35:42

at advantage because he's not slept in two

35:44

weeks and he's been fighting wolves for

35:46

48 hours. And

35:49

you're yelling at him. Dirty

35:51

20. Wow. Okay.

35:54

Yeah. I don't think he's gonna beat that.

35:56

What do you mean, rent? What do you mean, giant? the

36:00

stomach of a giant. Why? Well it must have swallowed you,

36:02

I assume, that thing that snatched you out of the air.

36:04

Well then why do I owe you rent? I'm not here

36:06

of my own free will. Yeah but

36:08

you are, you know, using the facilities, I say,

36:10

gesturing expansively. What facilities? Your

36:13

in-house wolf pack! This acid isn't

36:15

free, I say. But I

36:17

don't want any of it. Well, you shouldn't be

36:19

using it then. I'm not using it! I'm flying!

36:21

The cost of acid has gone up enormously recently.

36:24

Not made of acid. His fatigue gets

36:27

the better of him and he lands again and goes, oh,

36:29

I suppose I am

36:31

using it now. Yeah. Here's a

36:33

copper piece. Thanks. Just

36:35

for the tenancy documents and such, what was your

36:37

name? Sebastian. Sebastian, nice

36:40

to meet you. I'm Dob. Nice

36:42

to meet you. I don't... I was recently

36:45

bathed in acid. Yes, I saw that. I

36:49

don't really feel like I want to sign

36:51

any tenancy documents. I don't really want to

36:53

stay here. I mean, I'd rather stay here

36:56

than the next room. What's

36:58

in the next room? Well, I

37:00

don't really know. It's just that occasionally,

37:02

every so often, that cave wall there

37:05

opens up and then

37:07

everything gets washed away into a darker place

37:09

that smells worse. So I figured I'll stay

37:11

where I am. So I sort of, like

37:13

I say, I just hover and avoid it.

37:15

But everything else gets pulled

37:18

right through there. Well, let me

37:20

ask you this, Sebastian. You said you've been here

37:22

for quite a long time. Yes, two weeks. And

37:24

the wolves were a recent addition. They came in

37:26

yesterday. Two days ago. Have you seen anything else

37:28

pass through this stomach in that time? Oh yes,

37:31

lots. Anything that you think might

37:33

make the giant that ate you unwell? Well,

37:37

there was a tree. There was

37:40

some sort of municipal building. Smells

37:42

a lot like beer.

37:45

There are

37:47

plenty. Yeah, lots of, you know, lots of

37:49

screaming men-at-arms

37:51

and a herd

37:53

of cows. It

37:57

isn't really narrowing it down, is it? No. you

40:00

to roll for initiative right now.

40:02

Sebastian, welcome to the OxVenturers Guild.

40:06

It's just me and you Sebastian. What is

40:08

that? Well, we're

40:10

a group of adventuring heroes.

40:14

We travel hither and yon, and

40:16

we do what we can to help whenever

40:18

we find people in need. No

40:21

we don't! How

40:24

did everyone do on those initiative rolls, five

40:28

from Egbert, four

40:30

from Prudence, Nat 20, 20

40:34

from Corazon, and a

40:36

nine. Dub,

40:40

you can join in any time you like. You absolutely

40:42

don't have to follow them. Well,

40:44

so Sebastian, what

40:47

do you like to do? Can you do

40:49

magic? Do you have a weapon of

40:51

choice? Have you traveled much? Well,

40:53

I've got talons and a beak. I

40:55

travel a lot, because I'm sort

40:58

of, you know, an nomadic flying bird

41:00

man. And well,

41:02

my main hobby of late is trying to survive. Ade,

41:06

do you think you would enjoy the adventurous life?

41:09

Ah, we're all being killed. I

41:11

scream from the outside. Yes, I should probably explain to you

41:13

what's going on. So,

41:16

the next room is rather a

41:18

lot fuller of stomach acid. It's

41:20

kind of up to just below

41:22

your knee. And

41:25

it's sort of like... And on top of a wolf,

41:27

like riding in on... Yeah, okay, alright. So, yeah, for

41:29

you it's to the top of your wolf. There

41:34

is a slight bioluminescence in this

41:36

next stomach that kind of illuminates the cave, which

41:39

is when you spot the

41:41

acidic mist apparition that kind of like

41:43

bubbles up and kind of starts

41:45

sort of like wacky

41:47

waving towards you as if to be like,

41:49

I'm gonna digest you! Because

41:52

as everybody knows, the second stomach of a

41:54

giant is where the real work happens. So

41:57

now you're fighting a physical manifestation of the

41:59

digestive process. Love that. Okay. And

42:03

we will start with Corazon. Okay.

42:06

Fighting the digestive process. Yep.

42:09

Yep. The food back at the tavern was bad. I

42:12

feel like I've done this before already today. So,

42:14

yes. Okay.

42:16

And what's... Okay. Thinking

42:19

back to my chemistry lessons at school that

42:21

I barely paid attention to, there was... I

42:24

need an alkaline to counter the acid. Do

42:27

you have a handful of magnesium or... I've

42:29

reached into my pockets and I trust the

42:31

handful of magnesium that I often

42:33

carry with me. Sure.

42:40

Where are you going with this? I'm going to form a

42:42

snowball out of it and throw it at the thing. And

42:44

I pull out the giant bottle of gaviscon I have with

42:46

me as well. That's

42:53

a hard word to make a pun out of. I've

42:55

got nothing. Alright.

42:57

Imagine there's a Y in it. Gaviscon.

43:00

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

43:02

It's pretty fantasy-y. Yeah.

43:05

Yeah. Sure. That'll

43:07

do. Alright. Yeah. Romeo

43:10

D20, that's determined the quality of this ball of

43:12

magnesium that you've apparently had on you for six

43:14

years. It's a natural 20.

43:17

Oh my God. Okay, fine.

43:20

Yes. I mean, damage immunities are acid

43:22

and poison. It doesn't say alkaline. So

43:25

yeah, okay, make me a dex

43:27

attack. Please just throw away snowball

43:30

of magnesium at

43:32

an acid apparition. Maybe

43:35

the snowball of magnesium can be a corazons. Pestive

43:38

present. You know? Yeah. Everyone

43:41

gets one. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

43:43

Yeah. Okay. Yeah,

43:46

like burst into flames. Like a bright white flame. Liquid. Yeah,

43:49

you cover our eyes, I think. Yeah. You

43:52

literally... I'm not

43:54

going to lie, the last time I took a chemistry exam it was 2004, so...

43:58

Alright, is it an 11? You

44:01

miss! I've been carrying that

44:04

magnesium. I

44:07

would still like you to roll me the damage however. Okay.

44:09

It was... oh god. Could

44:12

you roll me 2d10 plus 2?

44:15

It was a very good ball of magnesium

44:17

that is hitting the wall of Harco's stomach.

44:20

Six. Wow, okay.

44:23

You know what? He's not even going to scream at that one. So

44:26

you don't have to make me the saving throw to

44:28

keep your feet. It's the mist creature's turn

44:30

now. Let's see. What's

44:35

your AC please, Corazon? Fifteen.

44:40

You take 20 points of acid damage. What?

44:42

Sorry, sure. You

44:48

can probably halve that because you're a rogue. Yeah,

44:50

is that... yes.

44:52

You saw it coming. You use uncanny dodge to

44:55

dodge some of that. Okay, great. Well, it makes

44:57

two attacks so it's going to go again. That's

45:01

a hit. Take

45:26

that, TSA. It's Bragg apple cider vinegar.

45:28

Now uncapsule form. Bragg. It's not weird

45:31

if it works. Four

45:33

plus 10. So

45:35

that's another 15 points of acid

45:37

damage. Which halved is... we'll call

45:40

it seven. Okay, so what

45:42

was the first amount? 20? 20

45:44

halved is 10. And then 15

45:46

halved is another seven. You take 17 points

45:48

of acid damage. Great. Fine,

45:51

not even a problem. So Corazon's been

45:53

partially digested. Oh, Dob,

45:55

what are you doing? That's

45:59

been a few rounds. Yes,

48:00

DC-12, 3D6

48:02

damage on failed save, half as much on

48:05

success. I have rolled

48:07

a seven, so it did not get out of

48:09

the way. So please give me

48:11

3D6 fire damage, which is not

48:13

something to which it has resistance. It would

48:15

be my pleasure. Great! Johnny. That's...

48:20

nine. You're a tenth of the way there, everybody.

48:23

For real? I think

48:25

this looks a lot more impressive than it is,

48:27

doesn't it, really? Mainly for sure. We're in a

48:29

very damp atmosphere. You

48:32

know how people with a flaming torch go outside into

48:34

a dorm? It

48:37

sort of gutters the flame a little bit. It's true.

48:39

It's not your fault, it happens to everyone. Prudence, it's

48:41

your fault. So I'm looking at this mis-deporation and

48:43

it doesn't look bothered. Not

48:46

especially. A bit of it does evaporate

48:48

off. But it's kind of

48:50

a formless thing that's sort of drawing up

48:52

from this pile of violence, selling

48:55

affordable cars, that kind of thing. So

48:58

yeah, it loses that much and then it's kind

49:00

of bluh, like a hydra grows another one. Oh

49:02

no. Can I see the entrance to

49:04

the third stomach? Uh, yes. Yes,

49:07

you can. It is currently closed. Oh,

49:09

oh, oh, okay, fine. But just in

49:12

a kind of, like an aperture opens

49:14

and closes kind of way. It's nice

49:16

that you use the word aperture and

49:18

not sphincter. Just avoiding the word sphincter

49:20

quite simply. That's the later on, Jane.

49:24

They're all sphincters, right? Yeah, it's true.

49:27

If you take just one thing away from this session,

49:29

Mike, they're all sphincters. Okay,

49:31

got it. Um,

49:35

oh, what the hell, I Eldritch Busted. Right in the misty

49:38

face. Great, perfect. Okey-dokey. See

49:40

what that does. So it's AC-15. Please

49:43

make me, I assume, two

49:45

attacks. Yep. Lovely. Oops. All

49:48

right, that is a 20... Mm-hmm.

49:55

Oh, and a 14. Okay,

49:58

so one hit, one miss. Okay. roll me damage

50:00

for both please. Oh

50:02

no! I'm rolling for the

50:04

one that hits. Uh-huh. I tell you what,

50:06

if you want your Christmas Frozen can be

50:09

you can decide which roll, which Eldritch pass

50:11

is which. Yeah I would

50:13

like to choose that because this is a

50:15

one. Okay, alright, yep, sure. Don't forget to

50:17

add your Charisma modifier. My Charisma is obviously

50:20

a five, so that's a six, and a

50:22

ten. Alright,

50:25

oh great, okay. So you do

50:28

ten points of damage to the

50:30

Mist creature, which kind of like, yeah, it kind of, you

50:33

kind of just free my hole through the middle

50:35

of it. Kind of like, you see it's wacky

50:37

wavy noodles, be like, briefly, and then it kind

50:39

of puts both of them in. They come out

50:41

the back again and it's torso is whole. Oh,

50:43

so the second one goes straight through the hole

50:45

and... Yeah, yeah, there we go. You're like, and

50:47

it kind of like catches through. And

50:50

you hear, unfortunately Harco goes,

50:53

Ugh! DC-15 dexterity throw,

50:55

uh, dexterity saving throw. The

50:58

Mist creature, yeah, is shrinking as

51:00

you're doing more damage to it. So it's looking

51:03

less imposing as we go on. And

51:06

we're back to the top of the round. Corazon, what would

51:08

you like to do? Okay, so how does

51:10

someone normally expel a gas from their

51:12

body? Right? Are

51:15

we talking polite company or? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

51:17

yeah. So I need to, I

51:20

want to try and make the giant belch. Okay.

51:22

Spell the gas. So,

51:26

I'm going to, uh, to use

51:28

mage hand, reach like back up

51:30

through the stomach. Okay. Sort of

51:32

like, just sort of like mage

51:35

hand massage the back of its throat, I

51:37

guess. You

51:40

know? Yeah. You know, normal things

51:42

that happen in D&D. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

51:46

Uh, yeah, sure. How do

51:48

we resolve this mechanically? Um, maybe a

51:50

dex, slight of mage hand roll, please.

51:52

Sure thing. I imagine this is

51:54

your first time massaging the inside of a giant's

51:56

throat. You'd be surprised. Alright,

52:00

yeah. Are

52:02

you saying anything to your companions

52:05

about this plan? Yeah, I say... So we're

52:08

free to talk. I say, watch this! Hahahaha!

52:19

Yep, okay, great. I

52:24

grab onto something because the horizontal... Yeah, watch this.

52:27

Can I use something? Oh!

52:31

Did I completely miss you off? No. Oh, that's

52:33

because I didn't write down your name. Hahahaha!

52:37

I'm the initiative tracker. Yeah, you know what? You can have

52:39

a point of inspiration, my sincerest apology. Remind me what the

52:41

number was? It was

52:44

9. It was a 9. Oh, I wrote down D.O.B. You're

52:47

not D.O.B. You're Meryl one.

52:49

D.O.B. didn't get a turn either. Yeah,

52:51

you chatted with a birdman. I've got

52:53

6 seconds of staring into the eyes of a birdman. I'm so... Who

52:56

are you complaining about? I'm so sorry. Yes,

52:59

of course, you can take your go now. Just

53:02

before we all... Yep, yep, yep, yep. And

53:04

after this, I will be tending my resignation.

53:06

Hahahaha! Yeah,

53:10

I would like to... poison

53:14

spray the acid creature

53:17

for 2d12 damage. Okey

53:20

dokey. What have

53:23

they got? A 19. Unfortunately,

53:26

they are also immune to poison damage. Yeah. Sorry.

53:30

Oh well. No, roll me the damage anyway. No.

53:34

Hahahaha. I

53:37

got a 2 and then a 12. So that's 14. Can

53:41

everyone please make me a DC

53:43

15 dexterity savings throw? Great,

53:48

you're fine. Uh,

53:54

6 points of acid damage for

53:57

all of you, please. No. You've

53:59

had a little... Women: The bio. Being

54:02

banned us. Or

54:05

see me? Important question?

54:07

No. Fine

54:11

success and like unless unless you're you're

54:13

wearing what normal for his cousins Ethan

54:15

you're tired of wearing a bathrobe yeah

54:17

my boss I guess then of placid

54:19

alcoholic airing like know that's funny actually

54:21

the my my death rates but with

54:23

him. About.

54:27

Perfect or right right

54:29

now as a Corazon.

54:32

Okay I'm right. so yeah a joint

54:35

is about to our belts which were

54:37

like you said you were holding on

54:39

something yeah always when the cards and

54:41

says what's this you do not hold

54:43

on some instances of would anybody I'm

54:46

going on Israel to say what anybody

54:48

reasonably not be holding on to something

54:50

I wouldn't because I'm sliding down into

54:52

this stuff is holding in our a

54:54

conqueror. Yes I understand. Okay I'm holding

54:57

onto Sebastian. Yeah. I know I'm

54:59

not holding on to some okay, you

55:01

know, my wisdom modifier would he think

55:03

I'm doing. Well

55:06

in that case is everyone could make me

55:08

a Dc. Twenty deaths saving throw. If you're

55:10

holding on to something to do this as

55:12

advantage. For. Get

55:16

it was lovely. lovely

55:18

whiteness. Not. Lovely. But

55:25

the worth going up would sit outside the

55:27

joined again right? If this we get carried

55:29

by a bells. Oh, you're

55:31

just free falling on it was. A

55:36

seat. Okay everybody who whisked it please

55:38

roll me a D H. The goodies

55:41

is this is an absolutely Almighty Belt

55:43

is one of those unfortunate belts is

55:45

where a bunch of stomach acid ton

55:47

of come up rather miss creature is

55:49

just expelled from the stomach. It is

55:52

absolutely gone. Those v that with the

55:54

saving throw welcome back to the first

55:56

stomachs. please tell me

55:58

the results of your the a throw four, five,

56:02

seven, eight. Yeah,

56:05

so it's 15 points of bludgeoning

56:07

damage you take dub from everyone

56:10

just flying into you as you're

56:12

coming in, they're expelled up. This

56:14

is not the worst rescue operation ever. You're

56:17

all smashed together in the first stomach, but

56:19

the second stomach is now clear of danger.

56:22

Let's leg it across, leg it. We've

56:26

got to get further down. This seems to

56:28

be where everything happens. It might be safer

56:30

in the next room. All right, do

56:32

we go back in? Yes. All right, I'm

56:34

just standing there like, yeah. Take

56:39

that, missed creature. There is no one there

56:41

to witness the great deed that you just

56:43

performed with Mage Hand. It's always the way.

56:46

Is Sebastian okay? He

56:49

is deeply winded, because you were holding on

56:51

to him as the rest of

56:53

the guild, bar one, smashed into

56:55

him. Sebastian, you gotta be ready for

56:57

this sort of thing. What

57:00

do you mean this sort of, is this routine? Kind

57:03

of, and I was sort of hoping that

57:05

you would help us out

57:07

or I think that you've not made

57:09

a very good impression on your first day, Sebastian.

57:12

Well, I suppose I'll leave then. All

57:14

right, bye. Oh, okay. Yeah,

57:17

he hooks it, he's gone. We

57:20

can just leave, leave up out the stomach.

57:24

Well, he's sort of shown in the way out now. He's

57:27

covered in feathers, you think he can't make a giant? Belch. Oh,

57:29

okay, yeah, fair enough. Sebastian's gonna sort of

57:31

laboriously climb his way out. I

57:33

was gonna say that's what he's doing until further

57:36

notice. He's trying to

57:38

climb his way out of a giant. I'm sorry about him, everyone.

57:41

Right, should we carry on? Yeah. Hey,

57:44

Dov, where have you been? You didn't come down for the

57:46

mist fight. You mean I was the only one

57:48

who didn't fall over? You didn't come

57:51

down for the mist fight? Yeah, that was like

57:53

14 seconds ago and I was on my way.

57:55

What took you so long? Well,

57:57

for about six seconds I talked to Sebastian.

58:00

Then I slid down the stomach and then you

58:02

all slammed into me coming back up. Alright

58:04

well, buck your ideas up. I saw some kind

58:07

of acid cloud fly past. Yep.

58:10

That seemed unpleasant. I

58:12

took 17 points of damage, you don't even care about that.

58:15

I cast Cure Wound Sword and Corazon. Hey,

58:18

thanks. Oh, nice. Okay, yeah, roll it. Oh,

58:21

no, that's healed, not that. Yeah. Okay,

58:24

fine. Thank you. You're welcome.

58:27

To the third stomach. Alright, fingers

58:29

crossed for a brewery. Mm-hmm. Okay, so,

58:31

yes, you go into the third stomach.

58:33

It has, let's call it a microbrewery

58:35

in one corner, because all this is

58:37

left of an actual brewery that has

58:39

been swallowed and partly digested and smashed

58:41

up. You enter the third

58:43

stomach and each and every one of you goes, now there's

58:45

your problem. Because obviously, with the

58:47

main digestion work going on in the second

58:49

stomach, the third stomach is where all the

58:52

undigestable objects go. Basically,

58:54

there's like an armory's worth of rusted, pitted

58:56

weapons here. There's a smashed-up brewery. And

59:00

then sticking into the side of this

59:02

stomach, there is what

59:05

looks like a battering ram with like a

59:07

spiked front that is kind of just wedged

59:09

in there and has poked a hole clean

59:11

through the stomach, through which

59:13

you can sort of see like, it's almost

59:15

like you can see lights coming through.

59:17

It's a sort of a

59:19

weird red light, as if sunlight is beaming

59:21

down on the side of this giant, illuminating,

59:23

say, you know, his skin and then yada,

59:25

yada, yada. Like when you put

59:27

your fingers on torch. Yeah, exactly. Is that girl red? Harco,

59:30

did you eat a siege? Messy.

59:33

Oh no. We

59:36

have to get in here. I think

59:38

we can tell from the environmental

59:40

storytelling here. Oh, grab my ankles, will

59:42

you? I haven't forgotten. Yeah, I will. This one's

59:44

going to be piercing damage. Five. Dirty

59:50

20. Oh, lovely. Lovely.

59:53

Three. Sixteen. Okay,

59:56

four points of piercing damage to the both of you. You land

59:58

on something spiky. You're

1:00:00

probably gonna get tetanus. Ow!

1:00:04

But the acid will clean my... Sure,

1:00:06

yeah, yeah, yeah. Always

1:00:08

looking on the bright side. You're good

1:00:11

for now. Oh, siege! Oh,

1:00:14

yeah, I lifted a siege straight

1:00:17

into my mouth! Ha ha! We

1:00:21

should probably get it out. It seems really rude to

1:00:23

not reply. No, I'm not going

1:00:25

to. I'm just saying it seems

1:00:27

really rude. Just like if you just pat the

1:00:29

stomach wall reassuringly. There,

1:00:32

there. It

1:00:34

sort of quivers. Like,

1:00:36

oh... Yeah, like

1:00:38

you like, boom, and a ripple goes all the

1:00:40

way round. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop,

1:00:43

bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Alright, let's get this

1:00:45

spattering ram out of here. How big

1:00:47

is this spattering ram? It is basically

1:00:49

as if they just felt a massive oak hacked off all

1:00:51

the branches. Like, it is

1:00:53

easily longer than these three... It's about

1:00:55

four of these tables run

1:00:57

together. And the diameter is from the

1:01:00

floor up to here. That is big.

1:01:02

Okay, we could try and move it by hand. Are there

1:01:05

ropes attached to it still? Yeah,

1:01:07

there are still some vestigial ropes there. They're kind of

1:01:09

pitted and smelly and gross, but you know, you work

1:01:11

with what you have. Well, I

1:01:13

mean, we could grease up

1:01:16

the wound and

1:01:18

see if we can slide this on out of there. Yeah.

1:01:21

You bring some grease, diddy? I

1:01:26

reach into my pocket for the snowball of grease.

1:01:33

The Corazon place is there every night. That's

1:01:36

for safekeeping. Just

1:01:38

to double check it wouldn't be safer for him to pass

1:01:40

this, would it? It's all spiky. Yeah, but you know, we

1:01:42

could guide it through on its journey. If

1:01:44

we got an L, we could chop it up and melt

1:01:46

it down. Yeah, we just need to make it into smaller

1:01:48

bits. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Once we

1:01:50

pull this thing out, isn't there going

1:01:52

to be an enormous amount of internal

1:01:54

bleeding? We're going to need to cauterize

1:01:56

ASAP. Yes, great point, surgeon Dodd. Cauterize.

1:02:00

I used my breath weapon already and it was

1:02:02

nine points of damage. Is there a metal end

1:02:05

on this? Oh yeah, does that have like a big iron

1:02:07

wolf's head or something? Yes, exactly. Alright, well then we're going

1:02:09

to use it. The cap of it, the bit that is

1:02:11

sticking through is a metal head with some spikes on it.

1:02:13

Okay. Heat metal. Heat

1:02:15

metal. Coming up. Yeah.

1:02:18

Oh, alright. I'll cast grease. That'll slide out nice

1:02:20

and easy. And then with the

1:02:22

heat metal. Okay. Is

1:02:25

grease flammable? Yeah. Is that

1:02:27

a problem? What is that? It's not like

1:02:29

open flames, not with like,

1:02:31

sorry to be fire marshal Egbert, but you know.

1:02:35

And I'm the cause of most of our fire

1:02:37

related problems. That's why we made you the fire

1:02:39

marshal. Yeah, I know. The little hype is best.

1:02:41

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If we, when

1:02:44

we pull this thing out, it's probably

1:02:46

going to hurt Harko in

1:02:48

an enormous way. Is

1:02:50

there anything we can do to sedate an

1:02:53

exercise? Can

1:02:56

you cast sleep on him from the inside? Sorry,

1:02:59

I'm trying not to metagame. The

1:03:02

magnitude of your power does not- This

1:03:04

true prudence where I to cast sleep,

1:03:07

it takes into account the enormous constitution

1:03:09

of such a creature. It would

1:03:11

be very difficult to sleep such a giant.

1:03:14

Well, you gotta say it weird. You were doing

1:03:16

so well. Okay.

1:03:20

I searched my medical knowledge to think if

1:03:23

I can think of any herbs or tinctures

1:03:25

that would provide a local anaesthetic effect. Of

1:03:27

the ones you have on your person. Yeah, yeah, I've got

1:03:29

a pocket full of herbs. Sure.

1:03:32

Make me a medicine roll. I, I, I-

1:03:34

You can do this at disadvantage because I wasn't born

1:03:36

yesterday. I rolled an 18 and a

1:03:39

19. Oh

1:03:41

dang. So. There's

1:03:43

a lot of beer here. There is. Hey.

1:03:46

Oh that, yeah that could- And a, and

1:03:48

a, that's a tie. Yeah. Intravenous

1:03:51

alcohol in particular is very potent and ill-advised.

1:03:56

Alright, let's crack open some barrels and

1:03:58

I'm gonna crush all, every herb I-

1:04:00

they have in my alchemist. get a

1:04:02

hug into a fine pace without go

1:04:04

okay and then apply it and certain

1:04:06

hope for that was always come like

1:04:08

a poultice death or I guess your

1:04:10

romeo decency. Seventeen.

1:04:13

Okay, you've made and actually fairly effective. Poultice

1:04:16

are like to the point where you give

1:04:18

it a sniff new like whoa, that's potent.

1:04:20

Okay so the plan is. Which.

1:04:22

Good apply this around the

1:04:24

end of their battering Rams.

1:04:28

Were likely me idea. And

1:04:30

then well please stop blowing the horns

1:04:32

hold Vikings please send to tell August

1:04:34

see any time the com flag a

1:04:37

horn in Tesco. Becomes

1:04:41

a comic on specifically to Florida. who

1:04:43

are I carry on how volcanoes to.

1:04:47

Have a map at home and okay, fine. Or

1:04:51

I guess I'm Jenny. How's this? City.

1:04:54

Muscles rinsing also. Yep, a kid.

1:04:56

Okay, all right I'm going to

1:04:59

tell you now. hotter they join

1:05:01

is pretty stones. Good

1:05:04

poultice to say. Now

1:05:07

that I'm so not the rest of the

1:05:09

plan and s ya to leave you a

1:05:11

cast in Greece? Ah sure. yeah, let me

1:05:14

talk Green. Okay. Ah

1:05:16

his summer school has to succeed

1:05:18

on his ex saving throw awful

1:05:20

phone. For

1:05:24

years already prone so I think we can all

1:05:26

or automatically call that a failure. Greece's.

1:05:30

It's out at a loss for a minute though,

1:05:32

folks. okay a fight our our scamper up

1:05:34

on to the itself as a. Battering.

1:05:37

Ram yeah. Place to

1:05:39

handle the enormous i am bullfighting

1:05:42

yeah and cause he metal okita

1:05:44

meaningful level spell slot. Now

1:05:46

what this does is cool. Lot

1:05:49

of damage. Get. The right

1:05:51

now we wanna do is as you doing

1:05:53

it we want to time outs records arises

1:05:55

The wound as within the hour so I

1:05:57

think the rest day I grab the right

1:05:59

handful yet. Ready to pull. I'm

1:06:01

ready to go read all of

1:06:03

you to make a strength athletics

1:06:06

role while a job roles damage.

1:06:08

I'm gonna hate metal hygienists had

1:06:10

into same strain. Much sounds good.

1:06:13

Yes mates hand is a third

1:06:15

Willingham Okay perfect. Something

1:06:18

something load bearing. Harry: I'm

1:06:20

twenty one race and sorry

1:06:22

I missed that. Said, Support

1:06:25

Isis has no feeling. This one

1:06:28

that was a perfectly good bathrobe.

1:06:31

Oh. Nothing

1:06:34

for my regular on my room mates. and

1:06:36

sure yeah, do it. And

1:06:40

forth I'm a sense mates and

1:06:42

also not feeling this one So

1:06:44

average cycling big reveal or rather

1:06:46

have a giant had a busy

1:06:49

day the somehow you d c

1:06:51

made some a tell you a

1:06:53

sideways glance israel as long as

1:06:55

soon as I can get sick.

1:06:59

And I from on top of the things

1:07:01

as I. Have the right

1:07:03

call Cps. Oh. Good. Night. Sort of like.

1:07:06

Herself. Down. To present

1:07:08

yeah maybe a success with six obese

1:07:10

barrel and how did you do as

1:07:12

he sees this a nice okay Okay

1:07:15

so for the friends athletics it was

1:07:17

thirteen, has a was nine, seen voices

1:07:19

damage for he metal. okay nineteen points

1:07:22

don't see bad. So.

1:07:24

Think the totals a sixty. But.

1:07:27

We'll worry about that later. Be ambiguous to be

1:07:29

I have a million. Is.

1:07:32

It out of a million. So

1:07:35

the thing that happens next? some.

1:07:38

There. Is like this: a tremendously hissing

1:07:41

noise as his wound cauterized new

1:07:43

use the i sort of this

1:07:45

the the As fills with a

1:07:47

surprisingly delicious smell of see it

1:07:49

joins meats and you hear a

1:07:51

big oh sigh of relief from

1:07:53

Hawthorne which is absolutely fantastic Oversee

1:07:55

normally disease making noise that make

1:07:57

you roll a deck say that.

1:08:00

throw. I don't think we should really bother

1:08:02

because what happens is your entire world starts

1:08:05

to tilt 90 degrees

1:08:07

as Harco, feeling better, sort

1:08:09

of just stands up as

1:08:12

if he's going to go about the rest

1:08:14

of his business and isn't overly worried about

1:08:16

what happens to you now that he's feeling

1:08:18

better and you're in his third stomach. Is

1:08:20

his business going to be us? I

1:08:26

suppose if nature runs its course, yes.

1:08:28

Is there still a hole where the

1:08:30

battering ram was extracted? Yes, there is.

1:08:33

I'd lunge for the hole. Okey-dokey,

1:08:35

it's very hot. Fine.

1:08:37

It's all bubbly. Okay, I'll

1:08:39

take my chances with that hole. I

1:08:44

did not think this session through enough. Yeah, you

1:08:46

did. Okey-dokey,

1:08:51

yeah. Make me... Whichever

1:08:55

you prefer, strength, athletics or dexacrobatics to

1:08:58

kind of try and grab onto the

1:09:00

quarter-ised hole in this giant's

1:09:02

third stomach. Okay, alright, let's find some

1:09:04

strength this time. Okay, that is a

1:09:06

13. Great, yeah,

1:09:08

that'll do it. You just about sort of claw

1:09:11

onto the edges. Yep. Sort

1:09:13

of hanging off. Getting out of this bloody giant. Yep.

1:09:15

And then I try and pull myself out through the quarter-ised wound

1:09:18

hole. Yep. Cool. Actually

1:09:21

daylight. You can see it bleeds, the rest of you are

1:09:23

kind of like sort of at the bottom of this stomach

1:09:25

and you can see probably about, let's call it 12 foot

1:09:27

off the ground, prudence is

1:09:29

kind of like making a play

1:09:32

for exiting through the recently quarter-ised

1:09:35

wound. Alright, so just for clarification.

1:09:37

Yep. Does the hole go out

1:09:40

of the body or does it go out of the

1:09:42

stomach into... Out of the stomach into the body. Okay.

1:09:45

It's still got 23 minutes. Yeah. Oh,

1:09:48

I thought I saw daylight. Oh, no, it's

1:09:50

daylight diffused through the flesh of a giant. I feel

1:09:52

like I was very clear on this point. It's sort

1:09:54

of loose body cavity through. Yeah, yeah,

1:09:56

yeah. So if you imagine kind of like... I'm

1:09:59

Mad at anatomy. You

1:10:01

know I can. you local a

1:10:03

list shaft yes but made of

1:10:05

me. The crawl space? Yeah yeah

1:10:07

yeah yeah yeah. We sort of

1:10:09

rapes and and own body parts

1:10:11

of ago enough that they really

1:10:13

were added. Sorry folks. S.

1:10:16

Entrance to the how me some it's

1:10:19

a dead zone has cerebral is got

1:10:21

three summer and intestines out of go

1:10:23

to invest in town population of i

1:10:25

legitimately did not plan for this but

1:10:27

fine if they're like discarded like rather

1:10:29

rings or anything in. The

1:10:35

signed up for success or we could

1:10:37

fashion a a raft out of the

1:10:39

I'll Be We got this huge battering

1:10:41

ram death not doing anything author of

1:10:44

at the brewery probably. Also, this thing

1:10:46

doesn't need to come out of. The.

1:10:49

Giants or anything come out my

1:10:51

once upon a lot about one

1:10:53

of a big oh hang on

1:10:55

to brew beer to we use

1:10:57

that as a little so Obama

1:10:59

components a yeah yeah sure that

1:11:01

he's other off that the like

1:11:03

this or log flume thing with

1:11:05

added log. Also

1:11:10

inside that we could. I'm

1:11:13

trying to me about know. What's

1:11:17

available? Thanks are encouraging. Have. Also

1:11:22

inside that you we would have

1:11:24

an oxygen supply. Whereas I

1:11:26

mean, I don't know it off a lot

1:11:28

about intestines. But. I'm pretty sure

1:11:30

that if you're wearing on nighttime reprieve,

1:11:32

assist. Back

1:11:37

else he. Had

1:11:39

has more to breathing on everyone. Okay, perfect

1:11:41

they say was America was younger from you

1:11:43

know what? I had another system planned and

1:11:45

I decided not to run it because they

1:11:47

were going to be too many jokes about

1:11:49

feet. Of

1:11:52

balance that would have been fine. Oh we'll

1:11:54

get to defeat know cause. Okay,

1:11:58

Ah yes. And let

1:12:00

me get this right you're planning to build Some

1:12:03

sort of like submersible. Yeah, okay. Yeah,

1:12:06

we're gonna flume our way out Okay.

1:12:09

Yeah, there's no hurry like, you know if it

1:12:11

takes a day or two, that's all right We

1:12:13

just hang out in the in the in

1:12:16

the sub. Yeah. Yeah while someone

1:12:18

else does that can I just

1:12:20

industriously break up the battering

1:12:24

ram into passable pieces

1:12:27

Oh, I see Yes,

1:12:30

yes you may how are you

1:12:32

doing that is enormous I was gonna say I just

1:12:34

cast chatter on the middle of it, but that feels

1:12:36

like it would fire deadly splinters From

1:12:41

the like rhythmical like shutters that are going

1:12:43

through this entire Ettifus Harco

1:12:45

has forgotten you exist or if he

1:12:47

remembers you exist, he doesn't care that

1:12:49

he's going you're going to die No,

1:12:52

I care about Harco. It's my Christmas present

1:12:54

to Corazon. Yeah, I need to keep the

1:12:56

value in this giant Okay, I

1:12:58

tell you what is there like it's a kind of

1:13:00

pooling puddle of acid sort of somewhere Yeah, there's still

1:13:03

some acid in in the stomach Yeah,

1:13:05

and now that we're the right way up and the things are sticking

1:13:07

out the wall. Can I just sort of Gently

1:13:09

push slash roll it into a puddle

1:13:11

of acid where it will gradually. Yeah.

1:13:13

All right. Yeah fine Yeah, it's slowly

1:13:15

like it already starts sort of steaming

1:13:18

and hissing and yeah great problem solved.

1:13:20

Perfect Um, I would like

1:13:22

you to make me some sort of build

1:13:26

Depository slash submersible role

1:13:31

Permersible, yeah You

1:13:34

know what dealer's choice, you know, okay,

1:13:38

I mean, yeah dexterity, right sure Yeah, that's

1:13:40

why the dexterity I'll provide the raw strength.

1:13:42

Yes. There we go. Yeah, make me a

1:13:44

deck's role in a strength role 15

1:13:47

okay natural one Okay,

1:13:51

you have built a bobsled And

1:13:54

we're gonna come back to that because prudence you are

1:13:57

not you've now managed to come like You're

1:14:00

on the other side, you sort of like

1:14:02

sat in this lovely little

1:14:04

window of a hole in a giant stomach

1:14:07

looking out onto the lift shaft. Well I'm

1:14:09

suddenly faced with the shame that

1:14:11

I know nothing about giant anatomy. This

1:14:13

isn't just a portal to the outside, but

1:14:16

actually a portal to the rest of the interior

1:14:18

of the giant. Yes. Your

1:14:20

banner collapsed with shame prudence. Hahahaha.

1:14:23

Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Can

1:14:26

I get a sense of like, is

1:14:28

this the interior wall of the

1:14:30

giant? Is this the

1:14:32

exterior wall? Yes, so you've basically like,

1:14:35

you've exploded enough beings in your time. But

1:14:37

once you unzip them, they're all basically the

1:14:39

same. You've got the tummy and then when

1:14:41

you get outside of the stomach, there's sort

1:14:43

of a bit of space and then you've

1:14:45

got like flesh skin outside one. Alright, I

1:14:47

start hacking at the flesh and skin. Hahaha.

1:14:50

Hahaha. Sure,

1:14:53

yeah why not. Make

1:14:56

me a strength attack please with whatever weapon you're

1:14:58

using. Alright, well let's go with the, yeah,

1:15:00

dagger again. Yeah, cool. You

1:15:03

have strength. Strength rule? No,

1:15:06

I guess it's a finesse weapon isn't it? You can

1:15:08

use dex if you prefer. Dex. It's

1:15:10

up to you really. I'm

1:15:12

hacking, so I'm going to say strength. Okay, great.

1:15:15

Alright, so that's 13. What does that go mean? Well, I mean,

1:15:17

you're not going to miss. Okay. It's

1:15:20

unfeasible. So yeah, just roll me

1:15:22

some damage. Okay, alright, we decided

1:15:24

there wasn't a lot of damage on it was there?

1:15:28

Alright, that's a, that's a,

1:15:30

well, sexy call. A

1:15:33

two-point attack. You

1:15:35

basically carved your initials into the wall of

1:15:37

this giant. Who didn't want to hear? Yeah,

1:15:40

you'll get there eventually but yeah, okay

1:15:42

so you're currently very slowly tunneling your

1:15:44

way out, Shawshank Redemption style of

1:15:47

a giant. Okay. So,

1:15:50

like I said, have a Bobsled. Feel

1:15:52

the rhythm, feel the rhyme. Are

1:15:55

you doing it? doing

1:16:00

this? Hell yeah. All right. Bad boy can

1:16:02

travel through so much intestine. Okie dokie. I'm

1:16:06

going to need a strength check

1:16:09

from all of you to get the sort of necessary

1:16:11

run up and then jump into the bobsled and into

1:16:16

the large intestine. Meryl Wen. Is

1:16:18

it large first and lower? I suppose it

1:16:20

is. The lower one is the lower one.

1:16:22

Thanks everyone. Meryl Wen,

1:16:24

in your druidic studies, have you come across

1:16:26

any herbs that would provide a laxative effect?

1:16:32

I mean... No but I've got

1:16:34

something on my sleeve for later when

1:16:37

we reach the end. Alright. It's

1:16:39

like grease though. And wait, didn't

1:16:41

Prudence have some coffee earlier? She was

1:16:45

drinking. I'd like to mix some coffee into my grease

1:16:47

batch. Yeah sure. Bring that all

1:16:49

over here and just see what happens.

1:16:52

Can I message Prudence and say Prudence

1:16:54

if you get out with the

1:16:56

giant first, please sell the

1:16:58

giant to eat something vaguely

1:17:01

laxative. And if we

1:17:03

get out of the giant first, I have

1:17:05

no idea how we're going to rescue you.

1:17:09

Understood. See

1:17:12

you on the other side. Another damage roll

1:17:14

please. Prudence. Alright. Just going to

1:17:19

keep hacking away. Yep. Yep. Yep. If you

1:17:21

wanted, again, just basically just keep rolling and

1:17:23

just keep going. Just cut back to me.

1:17:25

I'm the goriest I've ever seen. This week.

1:17:30

This week. This is presumably like hurting Harco

1:17:32

or this sort of thing. Yeah, yeah it

1:17:35

is. You're being shaken around and

1:17:37

then out walking. So like

1:17:40

you're being shaken around a lot while

1:17:42

you're trying to manoeuvre a bobsled, which

1:17:44

again, how were those rolls? The strength

1:17:46

rolls? Oh strength,

1:17:48

sorry, yeah. There's a 21 from Egbert.

1:17:50

Sorry, I didn't roll. Which will get you a long way.

1:17:53

My strength roll was 22. 22, forgive me. 10. Alright. 16. Lovely. Okay,

1:18:00

so basically you're going

1:18:02

in order of your strength rolls. So

1:18:04

Eggbit, you're at the front, Torazon's at

1:18:07

the back, and

1:18:09

then there's Meryl Wen which means Dobb is

1:18:11

in second. But yes, you successfully managed to

1:18:13

ram a repurposed fementor

1:18:17

through an opening in the third

1:18:19

stomach. Welcome to the large intestine,

1:18:21

everybody. Please keep your

1:18:23

arms and legs inside of the front. At

1:18:27

all times. You

1:18:29

know what, we're going to do this like a race. We're

1:18:33

just going to do a series of roll-offs.

1:18:35

Eggbit, you're at the right photo. Hands

1:18:39

up, everyone. I don't. Eggbit,

1:18:42

you're at the front. So could you just, could

1:18:44

you, you and Prudence, both roll me

1:18:46

a D20, please. Oh, okay. Okay,

1:18:52

again. Seven.

1:18:56

One. Yeah. Okay. So

1:18:59

that's one point to Prudence. Again. Nine.

1:19:05

Yep. One more, please. Nine

1:19:10

again. Ooh. Okay. Prudence,

1:19:13

like a baby bird emerging from the

1:19:15

shower. It's

1:19:17

kind of like, the camera sort of cuts the

1:19:19

outside of this giant, it's kind of just like

1:19:21

walking along, minding his own business. Just like what

1:19:23

looks like a little pinprick, it's kind of, boop,

1:19:26

appears. And you kind of, it's

1:19:29

not quite chest bursting, but you sort of,

1:19:31

aah. Oh, like a hernia. It's

1:19:33

like the sun light, your pupils kind of contract

1:19:36

the hated twin orbs of gas shine

1:19:38

down upon you. You

1:19:40

have made it out of Harco the

1:19:42

Giant. Yeah. Oh, roll me a D20.

1:19:46

Okay. Doing

1:19:49

17 points of damage on the way. Yeah.

1:19:52

Pay that, Harco. Jerk.

1:19:55

He kind of goes, bah, aah.

1:19:57

But compared to like the agony he was in. for

1:20:00

God knows how long before, seems relatively

1:20:02

alright. What do now? I get

1:20:05

a harco. Alright. Hey!

1:20:08

Woah! You giant jerk! Woah!

1:20:11

Works! Woah! Did you

1:20:13

forget that we were inside you, trying to help you

1:20:15

out? Umm... Huh?

1:20:18

Yes! Did you just, since

1:20:20

you digested us... Umm...

1:20:23

No... That's rude. Did

1:20:25

you just tunnel through my

1:20:28

side? And the solstice too.

1:20:30

Well I'm on my way

1:20:32

to bring cheer to the

1:20:34

solstice. Were you? Yes, I'm

1:20:36

on my way to Brimmingham.

1:20:39

And what were you gonna do there? Eat

1:20:41

everyone in Brimmingham! Yeah... If

1:20:43

you care to look ahead, he is just

1:20:46

coming over the rise, and the people of

1:20:48

Brimmingham are sort of screaming and running

1:20:50

around. Oh God. Uh, looking quite worried. Okay.

1:20:53

Where are your friends? Well,

1:20:56

if I answer hazard again, you're

1:21:00

lower intestine. You

1:21:03

know what? Prudence is absolutely right. Welcome to

1:21:05

the lower intestine everybody. You've passed through the

1:21:07

divide. It's a full intestine after all. It's

1:21:10

a full intestine after all. Yeah

1:21:13

screw it, you can have inspiration for that. Why

1:21:16

not? Yeah sure. Umm, I'm

1:21:18

so glad you're outside, because we can just pandwave all

1:21:20

of this and make it euphemistic. Oh

1:21:22

is that what that is? Yeah.

1:21:24

Never mind. Was there anything

1:21:26

you wanted or can I go eat Brimmingham

1:21:29

now? You can go in there, but I'd like

1:21:31

my friends back please, and clean, clean and back.

1:21:35

How do you, um,

1:21:38

how do you

1:21:40

prom, prom pose we do this?

1:21:43

Well there's some hedges and over there you can

1:21:45

do it. Okay.

1:21:47

I don't want to be part of it

1:21:49

Arco. I understand. I'd rather not think about

1:21:51

it. Would you like me to put you

1:21:54

down in a nearby glade so that you

1:21:56

do not have to witness this? Yes. Great.

1:21:59

That was- works out brilliantly for both of

1:22:01

us. Harco

1:22:04

retires to a nearby ancient

1:22:06

forest and

1:22:08

squats behind a redwood. Hate

1:22:12

it, hate it all. Egbert

1:22:14

Corazon, Marrowen and Dov. Yes,

1:22:17

trembles. You

1:22:20

see sunlight again. You

1:22:23

are in a glaze. No, wait.

1:22:27

Wait, what? I cast gust of wind.

1:22:30

No. We

1:22:35

can hear it. Okay, so I'm now imagining,

1:22:37

you like... It's

1:22:40

kind of like you were leaving. It's like a

1:22:42

crash landing. You're kind of like, you

1:22:44

start into the ground and start skidding.

1:22:47

No. You rebound

1:22:49

off the ground. You knock out a

1:22:51

couple of trees. It's

1:22:53

like a plane original is

1:22:56

coming down and you

1:22:58

all emerge. You're thrown from the wreckage, but

1:23:00

you emerge. Thank goodness that you were domestically

1:23:02

sealed. So you all pop out clean and

1:23:04

unharmed. And that's our

1:23:06

adventure for the adventurers. We did it.

1:23:09

Where's Prudence? I message Prudence. Prudence, where are

1:23:12

you? What's your location? I'm on the other

1:23:14

side of the ancient glaze. Oh, cool.

1:23:16

I'm not coming in there. You can come out here. All

1:23:19

right, you might want to give this glaze 15 minutes. No,

1:23:23

the glaze emits a puff of scented air.

1:23:26

Yeah, I cast Druidcraft for

1:23:30

a nice smell of cherry blossom.

1:23:32

Great, fantastic. It only

1:23:34

just masks. Okay, all

1:23:36

right. Okay, good. I

1:23:39

get paid to haul. Oh, cool. Oh,

1:23:48

great. Oh, I've

1:23:50

got worms. Well,

1:23:55

not anymore you don't. Thanks to

1:23:57

us. You remember?

1:24:00

You were on the brink of death? We

1:24:02

went down into your actual guts to

1:24:04

help? Oh yeah! Well, I'm

1:24:07

kind of wondering what you're

1:24:09

gonna do in return. I'm gonna go

1:24:11

eat brimming ham. I mean, I

1:24:14

feel like you owe us a

1:24:16

favour. Okay, what do

1:24:18

you want? I... You... Your choice,

1:24:20

you decide. No, no. How

1:24:23

about don't eat everyone in Birmingham? I won't

1:24:25

eat you again. I

1:24:27

do not like leftovers.

1:24:30

I've been advised by my advisors. But

1:24:33

maybe... The thing is, if he

1:24:35

doesn't eat brimming, he's just gonna eat somewhere else. Just

1:24:38

ask him not to eat any more humans. Or

1:24:40

humanoids. Or intelligent sentient life. You ask because

1:24:42

this is somehow something you'll get eaten and

1:24:44

it will be my fault. Yeah, Dom, you

1:24:46

need to control your giant, all right? Yeah.

1:24:48

I can't have the bad PR blowing back

1:24:50

on me. Corazon is your giant, I bet

1:24:52

you seem to know exactly how to talk

1:24:54

to giants. I stomp off in the direction

1:24:56

of prudence. Well, okay, let's convince him that

1:24:59

the people in brimming ham are all spiky. Hey,

1:25:02

you know where there's like a big army of

1:25:06

tasty, fiery things

1:25:09

that we know that taste

1:25:11

exactly like egg butt? Who

1:25:13

you said was the tastiest one. Who you said was

1:25:15

the tastiest one. And there's a whole

1:25:17

bunch of them at our house in the

1:25:20

croppellist. On

1:25:22

Z! Yeah, but I don't want him like smashing up my

1:25:24

house. He's not going

1:25:26

to get as far as the house. He'll

1:25:28

lay waste to Liliana's armies. Eventually she'll destroy

1:25:31

him. He'll kill him easily. Yeah, right, fine.

1:25:33

Sorry, Harco was not listening. Okay, so there

1:25:37

are so many more. Go that way.

1:25:39

Yeah. And there's a

1:25:42

big graveyard. Don't worry, we're not giving

1:25:44

you the leftovers. There's

1:25:46

a lot of folks who look like

1:25:49

this fellow here. Who you really

1:25:51

enjoyed the taste of. The

1:25:54

flame grill one. Yeah, flame grilled.

1:25:56

Yeah? Yeah, there's a whole bunch of

1:25:58

them there. It's lab grown meat. I don't

1:26:00

know if that's a problem for you. Uh,

1:26:04

protein is protein, isn't

1:26:06

it? Yes. This

1:26:09

is the favour you would ask of Harco. Yes.

1:26:12

Leave the people of Brimmingham. Yes.

1:26:15

Go eat an army of flame-grilled meat men. I

1:26:17

would additionally ask you to not refer to yourself in

1:26:20

the third person anymore. It doesn't make a great impression.

1:26:22

In this fantasy realm in which we inhabit, you can

1:26:24

more or less sort out the good

1:26:26

guys from the evil guys based on that.

1:26:30

Oh man, I'm gonna get stamped on. No!

1:26:37

Alright, Harco will do this thing.

1:26:41

Yes, Harco will. Very selfish. Yeah,

1:26:44

for better or worse, you have managed to recruit... I

1:26:47

cannot believe this is tying back into the main arc after everything

1:26:49

we've been through. You

1:26:51

have managed to recruit a powerful and

1:26:53

very hungry giant in the fight against

1:26:55

Liliana and her armies. I'm

1:26:58

absolutely livid. So

1:27:03

much. Sorry to anyone

1:27:05

who came to MCM to just watch a bit

1:27:07

of D&D for not just that, but all of

1:27:10

that. Yeah, yeah. And

1:27:12

if anyone is here solely because they're supporting a friend

1:27:14

or a loved one. So

1:27:16

sorry. So,

1:27:19

for better or worse, that

1:27:21

was our seasonal festive adventure everybody. Thank

1:27:23

you so much for coming. If

1:27:26

for some reason we haven't put you off buying

1:27:28

merchandise, it is clean. There's

1:27:31

a stall that's gonna be open for the next 20 minutes

1:27:35

and we've just restocked signed figurines. I

1:27:38

would not advise swallowing them, they're quite large.

1:27:40

And spiky. And

1:27:42

spiky. Okay, good.

1:27:45

Someone else can take the rest of the outro. Thank you so much for

1:27:47

coming. Thank you. Thank you so

1:27:49

much. Selfie. Thank you, Johnny. Big

1:27:52

round of applause to Johnny, everyone. Wonderful

1:27:55

adventure. Thanks for putting up with

1:27:57

us. Enjoy the rest of your show, everyone. Thank you again.

1:28:00

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank

1:28:02

you everyone. That was fun. Haven't

1:28:18

been swallowed by a giant before in

1:28:20

Dungeons and Dragons or indeed I think

1:28:22

any tabletop role-playing game.

1:28:25

Nope. It was a fair to me as well. Yeah,

1:28:27

that was fun. I

1:28:30

had a sinking feeling when we saw a

1:28:32

big lying down giant and I'm like, is

1:28:35

this going to be a fantastic voyage? It's

1:28:38

interesting where people's minds go first, sort of

1:28:40

like being inside a body. Mine is in

1:28:43

a space. Do you remember that one? Oh,

1:28:47

is it the same premise? I don't know if I do. Oh,

1:28:50

they get like shrunk down and injected into a guy.

1:28:53

Okay. Dennis Quaid's in it I think. And

1:28:55

then there's the Mario RPG where...

1:28:58

Yeah, Bowser's inside the story. Yeah.

1:29:01

Osmosis Jones, is that the same? Yeah,

1:29:04

I think so. God, there's a lot of these. I

1:29:06

didn't realise it was such

1:29:08

a repeatedly visited

1:29:10

trope. Well, I like

1:29:12

that, you know, Prudence's main aim

1:29:14

was just to sort of blast her way

1:29:17

out of the giant. I

1:29:20

think that's what Johnny expected us to do.

1:29:22

I don't think they expected us to do

1:29:24

the whole Dungeons and Dragons thing. I was

1:29:26

surprised because to my mind, that's the most

1:29:28

obvious thing in one end and out the

1:29:30

other. And that's why Prudence

1:29:33

was horrified from the outset. Yeah, from

1:29:35

the get go. I

1:29:37

think in my mind, I've just added a new

1:29:39

facet to Prudence's character.

1:29:42

Which is icked out by digestive

1:29:45

functions. Sure, sure. Yeah, kind

1:29:47

of squicked out at that. The

1:29:50

unpleasant necessities of digestion. Yeah,

1:29:52

yeah, that's it. That's it. It's

1:29:55

fine, you know? Yeah. All good.

1:29:58

Metal. Punching your way out. The

1:30:00

baby rat they're being born in Jurassic Park

1:30:02

every match the yeah yeah. Yeah I

1:30:04

imagine you know and what he.

1:30:06

I imagine her emerging from the

1:30:08

giants like. The. Lady at the

1:30:10

end dove. That isn't. That.

1:30:13

A sense yes, that's it. I'm

1:30:15

less emerges from the grounds of

1:30:17

them. Blood. About know. I

1:30:19

figure was Tomb Raider game. He was the when Lara Croft

1:30:21

falls into a big blood swimming pool. Of

1:30:24

school. Yes, He that's

1:30:26

cool. yeah I happen to you know school

1:30:28

not cool at all unless it is when

1:30:31

arresting him is a like it. So.

1:30:33

Yeah yeah. Yeah, I

1:30:35

agree. I very much enjoyed

1:30:38

the make cysts seeming. Aws

1:30:40

hey, I got you this

1:30:42

guests and in profit Please

1:30:45

enjoy. Yes, and I mean yes. eighteenth

1:30:47

of like ownership of this. Unlike right

1:30:49

now I am in charge of this

1:30:51

that ions like it said, have been

1:30:53

just as a dog, the drink or

1:30:55

maintain his value that you maintain it's

1:30:57

resale value. Sudden you can't be punching

1:30:59

holes in it. So. Can I

1:31:02

get a receipt area? As I said, can I

1:31:04

get store credit from the Giants to support this?

1:31:06

Don't can get me. Ah

1:31:08

yes and I reserve it was really good

1:31:11

fun and it's always fun to play those

1:31:13

com Athens as well. Liked the baby crowd

1:31:15

as really good like Every came along with

1:31:17

an absolute delight. With. There are few

1:31:19

people got say hi to some people have to the

1:31:21

so which is really cool that. We saw

1:31:23

Troy Baker in their backstage area.

1:31:25

I. Miss Can literally collided with

1:31:27

David Hayter for Metal Gear Solid.

1:31:30

Ah, damn nice and tight. Oh that

1:31:32

was allies. And with some oak with it

1:31:34

a solid Impacts Death Duties What I we also

1:31:36

many I was walking fast ago and like do

1:31:38

something. Yeah. Was a security person in

1:31:41

the hallways? I moved to the rights of

1:31:43

them to get past that and David I'm

1:31:45

David Hayter darted out in the room. He

1:31:47

was in a cake and we were just

1:31:49

on a on a collision course. Oh and

1:31:51

then a security faculty to the High Gabi.

1:31:53

I got the big gum metal gear exclamation

1:31:55

mark of my head police air and he

1:31:57

was like off. Aww,

1:32:00

lovely David. Yeah, it was nice. David

1:32:03

Hayton was there. Roger Clarke was hanging around as well.

1:32:05

Oh, Darca Morgan. Lovely Roger Clarke. You met

1:32:07

him. You met him at that same

1:32:09

show a year prior, I believe. Yeah, I

1:32:11

mean I don't want to overstate things, but we're

1:32:13

basically best friends. Mmm.

1:32:16

Having met there once. It

1:32:19

was an unforgettable encounter

1:32:21

for you both, I imagine. Yeah. So

1:32:23

yeah, that was cool. It was fun.

1:32:26

Is keep being backstage at conventions,

1:32:28

because sometimes there are real, real

1:32:31

celebrities, voice actors and such. There was

1:32:33

a little food thing back there and

1:32:35

a plate of food had been set aside for Neil

1:32:37

Newbon from the landscape. Now,

1:32:39

is that legit? Because it said for Neil,

1:32:41

but do we know it was a starry

1:32:43

Neil Newbon? Well, I looked at it and there was a

1:32:46

load of blood, so yeah. So, a

1:32:48

plate of blood. It

1:32:50

wasn't blood, it was human food. In

1:32:52

my mind, there was a napkin that said

1:32:54

for Neil on top of some... And they

1:32:56

gave him some food because he was busy signing

1:32:58

autographs. He is so unbelievably popular at these things.

1:33:00

I know. He's doing

1:33:02

four hour autograph sessions, so they've got to make sure

1:33:04

he's got some food, because otherwise they'll all be eaten.

1:33:07

I suppose we could look into,

1:33:09

was anyone else called Neil at MCM Comic

1:33:11

Con in Birmingham this year?

1:33:13

It was Neil Newbon. It

1:33:15

was Astairean himself. Astairean snacks?

1:33:17

Yeah. His vampy snacks. Oh,

1:33:22

I love that. I love being backstage at conventions.

1:33:25

It's so weird. I

1:33:27

always feel like we snuck in somehow. Yeah,

1:33:29

yeah, yeah. That's it. I think that's the gleefulness of

1:33:32

it is that we shouldn't really be there. I

1:33:35

mean, we should. We definitely should. We should. But

1:33:38

it will never feel not weird. It is good. Yeah. It's

1:33:40

nice. So, thanks everyone who's listened

1:33:42

to us this year on the

1:33:44

Oxfordshire podcast. As Jane says, we'll be back with lots

1:33:46

of cool new stuff in the new year.

1:33:49

If you want to check out some of

1:33:52

our Oxfordshire merch, maybe you've got some Christmas

1:33:54

money burning a hole in your pocket, then

1:33:56

go to store.outsidexbox.com and you can see all

1:33:59

our cool web. over there. And

1:34:02

also youtube.com/ Oxventure is where

1:34:04

you can watch the video versions

1:34:06

of all these Oxventure D&D podcast

1:34:09

episodes if you want to you

1:34:11

know see our faces and costumes.

1:34:13

Yeah we've got some exciting stuff coming in the new

1:34:15

year so if you're not subscribed head on over there

1:34:17

hit that subscribe button we appreciate it

1:34:20

it helps us out and you'll be first to know about

1:34:22

our cool new tabletop stuff in the new year. And

1:34:25

we appreciate you for listening all through

1:34:27

the year except for the bit where we stopped doing

1:34:29

podcasts for a little while because things got

1:34:32

hectic. But they got hectic because

1:34:34

we're working on stuff. That's right. You

1:34:36

yeah and we

1:34:38

can't wait to share it all with you

1:34:40

in the new year so happy holidays.

1:34:42

Yeah have a great time however you celebrate

1:34:45

and whatever you're doing hope you get some

1:34:47

rest. Drink enough

1:34:49

water. Eat a

1:34:51

mince pie if you can because once

1:34:53

January hits it's illegal again. Yeah

1:34:55

and you'll get ya. Yeah that's right I'm

1:34:57

roaming the neighborhood in a van with a

1:34:59

searchlight on it. Looking

1:35:02

for pie silhouettes so just you know be

1:35:05

aware. Yeah we'll see you in the new

1:35:08

year thanks we appreciate every one

1:35:10

of you. Take care.

1:35:13

Bye. Happy holidays.