0:00

When you need mealtime inspiration, it's worth

0:02

shopping Kroger, where you'll find over

0:05

30,000 No

0:09

matter what tasty choice you make, you'll enjoy

0:11

our everyday low prices, plus extra ways to

0:14

save, like digital coupons worth over $600 each

0:16

week. You can

0:18

also save up to $1 off per gallon at

0:20

the pump with fuel points. More

0:22

savings and more inspiring flavors. That's

0:57

at store.outsidexbox.com. You should go check

0:59

those out for the elusive goodies

1:02

that maybe you missed the first

1:04

time around. You won't

1:06

believe these bargains, folks. Head on over to

1:08

store.outsidexbox.com for all the stuff you thought you'd

1:10

miss forever. It's back and waiting for you.

1:14

Hello and welcome to the OxVenture D&D

1:16

podcast. It is a Dungeons & Dragons

1:18

podcast in which we listen to episodes

1:20

of OxVenture D&D and talk about them.

1:23

Hi, I'm Jane. I'm going to be

1:26

your host today. And I'm

1:28

Andy. I'm also going to be your host today.

1:30

We are two hosts. Go to the one you

1:32

love the most. Yeah. So if you walk towards

1:34

the one you love the most. Yeah.

1:36

Yeah. Yeah. We'll pan the audio. So I'm

1:38

in your right ear and Andy's in your

1:40

left ear. I've got

1:43

snacks and beers and just frosty cold ones over

1:45

on your side if you wanted to come over

1:47

here. Well, I've got

1:49

an episode of OxVentures Guild the

1:51

final season, which is known

1:54

as Elf Fulfilling Prophecy. That is episode

1:56

number two. I think I know which one people are going to

1:58

go to. Oh, yeah. Rusty

2:00

gold ones right? Well in case you're not

2:02

here for the first eagles, One specific going to be

2:04

listening to some. Actual actual same actual

2:07

play will factual the indies

2:09

some accident he will lay

2:11

an. Air. How you then.

2:13

I'm afraid I'm feeling goods this week. How To

2:15

code last week? As you know, Idea.

2:19

Which sucks, but now I'm feeling such as a fiddle.

2:22

The time you can you can see home I just

2:24

by Clinton's my desk. Ne did since.

2:26

very impressive. I it's my turn at

2:28

not being so well of gossip. Sites

2:30

they say reposted. We pass the Oh

2:33

Miss around and this goes back and

2:35

forth. It's. One must be the bearer.

2:37

Yeah, and it's. My turn say see

2:39

those die we get of you Go

2:41

with him in effervescent Vitamin C Oh.

2:44

Yeah, yeah yeah, what did I would have?

2:46

I had sort of. I had. Ah honey,

2:48

a guy sunny, animated stuff. Isn't that here

2:50

Honey honey. A be seemed remedy. I'm surprised

2:53

he would go with. Nothing

2:56

against fist in Iowa. What? As

2:58

he concedes every tiny away it will be

3:00

earrings today that fire or gold studs. well

3:02

well well how they me his tone

3:04

i hate to be that was telling

3:06

me hate from all of a sudden

3:08

loving on these I think those places

3:10

effervescent with him and see tablets of

3:12

the closest thing. We. Have to

3:15

like a health potion from a videogame. They.

3:17

Make We're so even though and I know

3:19

in in my brain their a placebo and

3:21

don't in your body can only and you

3:23

know absorb so much Vitamin C B that

3:25

is much less than what you're about. Sick

3:27

I know. That down there

3:29

yeah for you're doing is offering the victim and see

3:31

contents of your urine. Or

3:34

has it out. He also was what I

3:36

found right his his little trick to make

3:38

you feel can held. On. Id hit us with

3:40

your lifestyle sets. Use fizzy water. Isle

3:43

Virus Investments eat out of it

3:45

like I'm entice. Diet Pepsi Center

3:48

on American Naval China and nice

3:50

sparkling says Syria has. really

3:52

colds says he water and ass and with

3:54

mean seats have a heroin you can fit

3:56

you can feel like your ah your health.

3:59

It's like in Legend of Zelda where you

4:01

get like 10 more yellow hearts on the

4:03

end of your health thing. Yeah. So

4:05

healthy. Yeah. So

4:08

healthy. Cool. So much vitamin

4:10

C in the video. We should become, I

4:12

don't know, wellness influencers or something with all the

4:14

health advice we've just thrown out for free. Yeah,

4:17

that's true. Although if we say with that, then

4:19

we'll probably have to have like some sort of

4:21

regulatory body. I don't think

4:23

so, Andy. Okay. Am I being

4:26

incredibly naive here when I'm thinking that people

4:28

actually do that? Yeah. Where do I get

4:30

my qualification for being a wellness influencer? No

4:33

offence, wellness influencers. Yeah. All

4:35

right. Well, that's my tip. What's

4:37

your tip for feeling healthy apart from money?

4:39

Do you know what? This morning I actually

4:42

had one of those like extremely rowdy effervescent

4:44

vitamin C tablets. They're really chunky. It's like

4:46

a puck. Yeah. And

4:48

I had a glass of water by my bedside, as you do, you

4:50

know, a glass of water you take to bed with me. And I

4:53

was lying in bed not feeling super great. And

4:56

I tossed one of those vitamin C effervescent tablets,

4:58

which I also happen to have with an arm's

5:00

reach into my bedside water. And

5:02

I lay there for a good five

5:04

minutes just listening to the audio, the

5:07

ASMR. Okay. It's like a white noise machine.

5:09

It's really nice if you just might lie

5:11

there having a little lie in because you're not feeling,

5:13

you know, at your best, you're not at the top

5:15

of your game. And you can just hear this kind

5:17

of like gentle clunking and fizzing

5:19

as your little effervescent puck

5:22

just kind of gets whittled away down to nothing. I

5:24

recommend it. What I've never had the guts

5:26

to do is just like put one

5:28

in my mouth. It'd

5:30

be horrible. Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I was I'm

5:33

intellectually I know it would be horrible. But as a part of me,

5:36

that's like, what if it isn't? What if I think healthy? I

5:39

don't know that your mouth produces enough liquid.

5:43

Maybe yours doesn't. Just

5:45

properly dissolve an effervescent tablet. I

5:47

think you would just end up with

5:49

a sort of damp effervescent chunk

5:53

in your mouth. It would take a long time to dissolve

5:55

is what I'm saying. Yeah, with that attitude. You

5:58

could you could I guess you

6:00

could crunch it. Yeah, just pop it under the

6:02

tongue and just go about your day Yeah,

6:06

or your head will be exploded clean off. Yeah,

6:08

that's actually yeah Like a

6:10

mentos in a diet Pepsi bottle probably

6:12

about idea generally Yeah,

6:14

yeah. Well, okay. I hope you've taken what

6:16

you need leave what you don't from that

6:18

health advice and What

6:21

else we got going on? Sorry for my general

6:23

well-being What else

6:25

I've been playing some dragons dog me too,

6:27

and I am loving it it

6:30

is It's

6:32

exactly what I exactly what I

6:34

needed from from dragons dog Matthew Okay,

6:37

which is which is well you played

6:39

it, you know, yeah, I can pick

6:42

pick people things enemies up

6:44

and Just like

6:46

throw them eat the moth cliffs, which

6:48

is incredibly satisfying And sometimes

6:50

when my pawns are just hanging out where I want them

6:52

to be I can throw them over my shoulder and carry them

6:55

To where I need them to be. Yeah People

6:58

on a store quest just pick them up. Yes. Yeah. Yeah,

7:00

I had to escort a boy back to

7:02

safety Let's

7:05

go boy, yeah, yeah taking way too

7:08

long kid. Let's go Yeah, I

7:10

don't trust you to keep yourself safe. So let's

7:12

go Have you found us in the game because

7:14

the oxenters are in the game. I have if

7:16

you go to the rift the pawn

7:18

rift As

7:21

it is known piano for you wrist Is

7:25

how you spell that word and One

7:28

wrist I thought they closed that place down You

7:32

can go to the unique pawns and We're

7:36

there in the list of unique pawns. There's

7:39

one of each of our venture is guild characters There's

7:42

a there's a dog. There's a Corazon. There's a

7:44

prudent. Maybe you got on your team well,

7:47

I Actually, I'm already

7:49

fully crewed so I didn't need any of

7:51

the adventurers guild right now. Yeah.

7:54

Well, yeah I've

7:59

got a big lion man called Celio. He's

8:01

a big lion man. He's a rogue. So I didn't

8:04

need a Corazon I'm afraid. How

8:06

is a big lion man a better

8:08

rogue than a sneaky human man? He's

8:11

gonna be all cluttering around the place. I've got an

8:13

archer who's got the Timothy Chalamet haircut. I don't know

8:15

if you notice the character creator's got

8:17

an exact Timothy Chalamet haircut. And

8:19

I've got a sort

8:22

of mage caster healer type called

8:24

Heart who is lovely and

8:26

I adopted her off some other player

8:29

and she's great. She does be

8:31

good. So maybe I'll sort them out maybe.

8:33

I'll sort them out. I might sort them out but

8:35

at the moment I'm walking around doing quests and my

8:37

pawns keep saying things like I have no knowledge of

8:40

this quest. Maybe you should hire someone

8:42

else and which I think

8:44

is them trying to get out of work. Yeah. Yeah.

8:46

Lazy. Lazy pawns.

8:49

But I like it a lot. It's

8:51

exactly what I needed after Baldur's Gate

8:53

in that my party is completely unromanceable

8:55

and very professional about it and they

8:57

keep calling me master. So you know

9:00

extremely it's an extremely

9:02

workman like professional relationship. That's the relationship

9:04

you want. Well after Baldur's

9:07

Gate you know. After all yeah your

9:09

incessant rejection in Baldur's Gate I guess

9:11

that's fair. Yeah yeah yeah I

9:13

need a you know professional working relationship with my

9:15

party and my big you know lion man who's

9:17

stabbing things for me. It's

9:19

fun. It's really fun. I like it a lot.

9:22

It looks pretty great and I'm at

9:24

that phase where like 95 percent

9:27

of the map is still covered and everything

9:29

is new and exciting and I

9:31

can't wait to explore the place. So a lot

9:33

of goblins I will say. A lot

9:36

of goblins are like Saurians. Saurians so

9:38

far. Big Mizor men. And

9:42

just the occasional big ogre. So you

9:44

know with your like D&D staples your classic

9:48

fantasy staples at the moment. I'm quite early

9:50

on but I like it. I think it's

9:52

fun. Cool. I've put Fallout New Vegas on

9:55

my Steam Deck. So I've just been playing

9:57

Fallout New Vegas again. Right. Nice. the

10:00

third time, I guess. Amazing. What

10:03

kind of a playthrough are you going for on this

10:05

occasion? Just a

10:08

comfort playthrough, which is how

10:10

I always play Fallout games, which is just

10:13

the worst Weasley little guy who'll get

10:16

in everywhere. Like, you

10:18

leave anything open and he'll just get in. Okay,

10:21

all right. Lock your doors, doesn't

10:23

matter, he'll get in. Okay, so you're not doing like

10:25

a kill everyone run, or a panicist run? I'm a

10:28

sort of diplomatic where I can be, but the thing

10:30

is, I'm just always in your

10:32

studio. Okay. I mean, your

10:34

computer, reading your files. I'm all up in

10:37

your stuff, yeah. I'm in your house, stealing

10:39

your things. Uh-huh. Turn

10:41

around, he's there. Turn around, got anything valuable?

10:44

No, you don't. Okay, I

10:46

love that. You're going for a, I'm all

10:48

up in your stuff build. Well, yeah, it's

10:51

like a small incremental

10:53

losses of karma based on everything

10:55

I steal, offset by massive karma

10:57

gains from all the good I do. Okay,

11:00

that's what you want to go for in life, isn't it? Yeah. Just

11:03

do a few really, really good things. Yeah, exactly. Make up

11:05

for how much of a sort of low key jerk

11:07

we all are most of the time.

11:09

Yeah, so I've like tons of petty

11:11

theft, but then also like liberating

11:14

the wasteland. It's good, it's good,

11:16

yeah, appreciate that. On balance, pretty good. I'll have that

11:18

for you, yeah. Cool. What

11:22

else have I done? Oh, look, can you see behind me?

11:24

I have relocated my enormous

11:26

Lego Dungeons and Dragons set to

11:29

behind me and shot. I mean, we're in a video

11:32

conferencing software at the moment. Yeah,

11:35

you can see my big red dragon up there. Yeah,

11:37

it looks really cool. I check my post box every

11:39

day just to see if mine's arrived yet, but I

11:41

assume it's just. It's probably taking a

11:44

while. Yeah, it's not. It's so heavy, so many

11:46

Lego pieces. Yeah, we've got to go

11:48

off all the stairs, so yeah. Maybe

11:50

today will be the day. Yeah, I'd go and

11:52

check. You want me to, do you want me to check now? Yeah,

11:55

all right, cool, yeah, cool. I'll just go check.

11:57

Okay. You've gone to the post box. I

12:00

don't think he's I think he's got any like

12:02

a d d coming is like. Policy.

12:05

To stay, change with you and me. And

12:07

we can witness undies relational disappointment I which

12:09

is Andy. Ah the I know most

12:12

most. Modi. And be I

12:14

said ah well. maybe tomorrow, maybe

12:16

tomorrow, maybe sooner or later folks.

12:18

he had k good he data

12:20

thanks. How.

12:22

About we listen to Elsa selling prophesied

12:25

prophesies. Personally fulfilling prophecy

12:27

say I last played

12:29

with my price I

12:31

I. R. S I was thinking of what to

12:33

say, some Final Fantasy. As to did not

12:35

record a new recipe gay a

12:38

come up a new prophesied. Let

12:40

me. Run at that again. It

12:42

is Oxygen Guild final Seasons episode

12:44

two else says selling prophecy and

12:46

a D Want to listen to

12:48

it? I would love to listen to this about

12:50

l. L. Filling them

12:52

and will be back to talk about

12:54

those. Elves and More after

12:57

after this recording. Will

13:06

come back to the Avengers deals the

13:09

final season. so called because these five

13:11

companions of traveled a long road and

13:13

they banned a little rest or heroic.

13:16

That's right to an arms race car

13:18

crash or bust. Pretty heroic. Now we're

13:20

gonna have to devote all our remaining

13:23

playtime towards it towards inventing the my

13:25

to the rather than blood sacrifice and

13:27

provide the make ah know if everyone

13:29

in with. Her

13:32

I. Said. To

13:36

right yeah we'll see how were inventing

13:38

because plays out and the me some

13:40

fun are you introduce yourself alone on

13:42

Dub the Half or cloud. I.

13:45

Am Merrill when the Wood Elf druids.

13:47

Or impose on the bane of the human pyro

13:49

not dead yet? What the moment? On.

13:51

Prudence that even walk and I have no

13:53

intention of dying every day or otherwise. I

13:55

am. I grit the dagger more power than

13:58

on a limb forever and noom and. Oh.

14:00

And I am literally everyone else in the

14:02

world, which means I have died a thousand

14:05

hours ago. At this point... Yay! You

14:09

are nothing anymore. Too much.

14:11

Anyway, last time, you

14:14

forged an uneasy alliance with your

14:16

arch-nemesis Liliana. You drow sorceress, because

14:18

she has started a chain reaction

14:20

that might well destroy guests and

14:22

everybody on it. Which is

14:24

no big deal. Who hasn't at some point? Well,

14:26

exactly. Who among you? Hashtag

14:28

relatable. You are searching for five

14:30

crystals. Of course, you have already got one. You beat the

14:33

tar out of a wizard. Beat the acid with an old

14:35

wizard that we hate. And now in search of the second,

14:37

you have come to an elven settlement that, by rights, isn't

14:40

meant to exist. Time to deliver an ass-beating.

14:44

I asked the mayor, where is your local wizard? You

14:47

will remember I described some high-gabled houses

14:49

and buildings, and there are plenty of

14:51

elves kind of moving to and

14:54

fro, just generally going about their business.

14:56

It is classic medieval

14:59

background stuff. There is somebody walking

15:01

along with a basket

15:03

full of potatoes. There

15:05

is somebody leading a recalcitrant donkey that

15:07

doesn't really want to be led. There

15:09

are some children sort of playing in

15:12

other. Yeah, all right, fine. There are

15:14

some children playing in the dirt. Don't

15:17

ask too much about the children. What are

15:19

their names, don't worry. I am in a

15:21

close reflection there, small adults. Perfect,

15:24

there we go. I am imagining everyone is on a

15:26

sort of short animation. Yeah, pretty much,

15:28

yeah. It is just, you know, it is

15:30

a sleepy elven settlement. There is a cardboard

15:32

cut-out of Michael Jordan on a train going

15:34

round. Exactly right, yeah, while the child sort

15:36

of manipulates a

15:39

blow-up shower doll. None

15:42

of the elves, again, appear to notice

15:44

you whatsoever. All right, elves. I am

15:46

with Dov going like, hi, hi. Can

15:48

they not see us, or is this

15:50

just elf-hortiness? No, look,

15:53

I have met some haughty elves in my

15:55

time, but they are not this level. You are met

15:57

some horny elves in your time. Haughty. Oh,

15:59

okay. You've met for see else in your

16:01

life vs on you represent. Something

16:04

like many ways. The I've met many home.

16:06

And. Let that the fortieth was

16:09

hold T S. One

16:11

I nod like nice. Would

16:15

still want to acknowledge your existence

16:17

said. They were let down there know that you

16:19

again I will get and I looked at me I

16:21

look at the people are they wearing like what I

16:23

would consider modern dress. And

16:26

for him, go through the marrow and time

16:28

and your Elvis tongue? yeah yeah I try

16:31

and I can say. They live

16:33

in our own like high on man with.

16:36

No, don't say the. Owner

16:39

or. Not

16:42

a lot of islamist think of

16:44

all sound minimum baskets of potatoes

16:46

beings as wrong as one else

16:49

has to hit it on my.

16:53

Own is already. High

16:56

Top they said I. Have

16:58

a sudden eyes and eight when they're

17:01

horny. That's one of them. Have access.

17:03

To face and same the Defense industry

17:06

that has. yeah, I guess how many

17:08

analysts say you can see me? Yes

17:10

and you can hear me? Yeah, I.

17:12

Try my hand through his. Head.

17:16

I go to the was. Almost.

17:20

Five. Miles an hour ago. Door

17:24

Closed Fists I hear so even with

17:26

others as a guy says that his

17:28

character like my own a couple of

17:30

years ago and right known just over

17:32

I'm saying is five miles of know

17:34

us look at him a little bit

17:36

as tell you. What? You love

17:38

to have noted not. I said nothing but not

17:40

an iron and wound up. Now we know the

17:42

answer. Ah, Why? Shouldn't we

17:45

be able to see? A one second smell.

17:48

Smoke. Completely disgusting or elder

17:50

would worry about set another thought.

17:52

We would love to meet the older I'm

17:54

We'd like to know what's going on and

17:57

help you have. A keen eye People

17:59

are saying either. It can't be a good thing if you

18:01

want to be able to interact with the world. I

18:03

lean to Liliana and I say, Liliana this

18:05

is normally the point at which you would start

18:07

raising, but we

18:10

try and like leave it to the 30

18:12

minute mark and we try and do things

18:14

peacefully. We're very diplomatic. Very diplomatic. If she

18:16

puts out the burning torch. Right, okay good.

18:18

Don't put it out, just put it down.

18:21

Put it down to a full number. Odds

18:24

are we will raise. Sure,

18:27

but if I put it out, if

18:30

I just leave it burning then that's just a waste of a good torch isn't it?

18:33

I feel like you're nitpicking, but

18:35

I am going to move...

18:43

Dobs on the high road. Okay, alright, yeah sure.

18:45

I think you do what you want with your

18:47

torches and I'll do what I want with my

18:49

torches. Yeah, that's basically what I said. Yeah, great.

18:52

So we agree. Yeah, we agree. Wow,

18:54

sorry for existing. I'm sorry too. You see an

18:57

elf kind of come around the corner. She's

18:59

very tall. She's you know, elfin.

19:04

You can tell that she is trying to retain

19:06

her composure, but she seems quite

19:08

rattled. Hello. Hi,

19:12

what was your name? Sorry, I didn't catch that

19:14

again. Samira. Samira, okay. This is

19:16

in common. Yes, yeah, she's going to speak in common for the benefit

19:18

of all. Welcome to

19:20

Saluna. I understand you can see it

19:22

and you can see us and you can hear what we're

19:24

saying. Yes, we... What?

19:28

Who said that? I'm just

19:30

messing with you. Yes,

19:32

we teleported here. Okay,

19:35

yeah, no one's seen us as far as

19:37

we can tell for a thousand years. Is

19:40

that something that you wanted? Not really. I'm

19:42

going to curse the situation. It's possible. As

19:44

far as we can tell, our settlement's only

19:46

half in this plane. Normally nobody can see

19:48

or hear us. People sort

19:50

of walk through our walls and through

19:52

our persons as if we didn't exist. So we've

19:54

sort of just been left to our own devices

19:56

for the past millennium.

20:00

Oh, that's an important bit. Unable to leave.

20:02

Oh, so you're trapped here. Yeah, if we

20:04

go more than a mile from the

20:07

settlement borders, you sort of, you blink and then, whoop!

20:10

You're back in the middle of the settlement again.

20:12

Okay, I've experienced crews who've been marooned for a

20:14

long time on their own and... Let's

20:18

just get out in the open. What weird thing have you done? Yeah,

20:21

what weird stuff are you into? What weird thing have you

20:23

based your society around or what weird practice do you carry?

20:25

Just get out in the open now, we'll find out. Nothing,

20:27

we will. You eat each other? No,

20:29

what? No. Are you continuing to

20:32

procreate? The bit that's increasingly tight gene pool? No.

20:36

Weird question. You know how intense quests

20:38

long elves live, right? They've probably been

20:40

chilling. You know I'm like

20:43

over a hundred. Two hundred and twelve hundred? Yeah. Oh,

20:45

if I fling open this door, am I going to

20:47

find your worshipping a dog skull? I fling open the

20:49

door. There's a dog? It's got a skull.

20:53

All right, they're in the early stages. Okay,

20:56

I'm keeping... Well, we were a market

20:58

town and then... Then you started eating each

21:00

other. No, we did nothing of the sort.

21:03

We'll see. So you just stayed normal for a thousand

21:05

years, isolated. They've sort of just been

21:07

able to chill out where they've always been and

21:10

live off the land that they've always lived off.

21:12

Is that because the lives of us

21:14

mere mortals is like that of a

21:16

mayfly or... Yes, I mean, a

21:18

flickering candle or flame or something. No, we're just good at

21:20

this. I mean, well,

21:23

yeah. And there's beauty

21:25

in that fleetingness. Oh. That's

21:31

the best LPS. But

21:33

your lives have more meaning because they are,

21:36

that's so short. Yeah, we get really

21:38

bored having dinners all the time. I'm

21:41

looking at supermodel for a thousand years.

21:44

It's better in many ways to get old and

21:46

die. Die in pain. Makes

21:49

you a lot easier to kill. It really doesn't wear on the

21:51

conscience at all, to be honest. I

21:53

sort of nod and go, oh, that's very interesting. It's very impressive

21:55

that you've managed to do that. And I throw open another door.

21:57

You throw open a door. some

22:00

sort of like meeting place where

22:02

there's sort of like you know some some tables where

22:04

like a council would talk to people on benches for

22:07

the elf kinds to gather there

22:10

is a plinth with a crystal on it okay well i was expecting some

22:12

kind of sexual carnage but

22:14

crystal is good yeah um

22:16

that's what we're here for hey we need

22:18

the crystal it's super important we need a

22:20

crystal yeah are you using this crystal what

22:23

does it look like this is everyone want this crystal is it long

22:25

and slim with pointy ends like identical to

22:27

the one that

22:29

you again got i woke up and take the

22:32

crystal beating beating him essentially yeah we did can

22:34

i walk in and take the crystal absolutely all

22:38

right it's back on the plinth oh

22:40

no it can't leave gob you're doing it wrong i i take

22:42

the crisp it's back on the plinth hang on let's both try

22:44

it at the same time we both try it at the same

22:47

time three

22:49

two one go go it's back on the plinth and your head's

22:52

knocked together ah i

22:54

eat the crystal nice back on the

22:56

plinth that felt weird yeah it did feel weird did

23:00

it feel nice no no there's a vacuum in your

23:02

stomach there

23:04

is momentarily a void okay

23:10

samira this is a problem yes can i call

23:12

you samira please do what's

23:14

with this crystal we

23:16

don't know has it always been

23:18

here well about a thousand years ago we

23:20

were asked to keep it safe why

23:23

so about a thousand years ago when this all started

23:25

yes uh there was sort of just a loud wizard

23:28

who was sort of

23:30

giving those out if it makes you feel better we beat

23:33

his ass we beat his ass he's

23:36

a thousand years old that's why it's so easy bring

23:39

the freshness for our friends they

23:41

bring out like a you were a delicious land you

23:43

know it's it's like top of

23:45

the line elven fair it's like it's

23:47

honey wine drink that glows and is

23:50

so fruity and i hadn't realized

23:52

that our some really big

23:54

bread our friend of me wizard bin

23:56

bag was in charge of the crystal

23:59

distribution yeah We

24:03

should have maybe allowed him to get a word out Yeah,

24:05

don't think he said Break his wrists He does go on

24:07

though If I remember one thing, he went

24:09

on and on and on To be

24:11

honest with you, we weren't really paying attention He

24:13

said it was important and that... What

24:16

was the prophecy again? Oh yes, ooh

24:18

when the time comes Some

24:21

people will make themselves known to us That's

24:23

us And they will set forth where we

24:25

may not tread And... Nope,

24:29

can't remember Where may you not

24:31

tread? Well, anywhere outside

24:33

of... Yeah, that doesn't narrow it down

24:35

I got there Here,

24:39

she sort of... ...lashes you outside

24:41

and points Can you

24:43

see that column of smoke? Yes Oh

24:47

gosh, okay, alright Because that column

24:49

of smoke has been there for a thousand years And we've

24:51

been waiting for some of these mortals to go see what's

24:53

on fire And not one of them is

24:55

bothered to look And we can't get there because we're

24:58

back at home Oh,

25:00

like the crystals It's probably over there

25:02

So, assuming, and we are at this

25:04

point assuming, you aren't now locked into

25:06

this eternal torment Sorry,

25:09

temporary eternal torment with

25:12

us I'm just going to jog over to the...

25:15

For the rest of days There days Then,

25:17

it would be great if you could go check it

25:19

out actually I'll just jog over to the... Edge

25:22

of town Jogging to the edge of town and see if I get

25:24

boofed back As you go, the dog that

25:26

you... I'm keeping an

25:28

eye on Shrode in on Follows

25:31

you because it's the most exciting thing that's

25:33

probably happened around there in 200 years Okay, and his head

25:35

is on His head is on The

25:38

skull remains in it And

25:40

people aren't sort of falling about wailing and

25:43

gnashing their teeth in prayer for each other No,

25:45

they're not And,

25:47

sorry, slight meta-knowledge A skull being in a dog's

25:50

head Normal Normal

25:53

No No, I... Write

25:55

it down No I

25:57

would like to give the dog a scratch behind the ear It's

26:00

head force off. It's legging it after Corazun. Oh

26:04

okay. It's like running after him excitedly. So you can,

26:06

but I'm gonna need an athletic attack

26:09

for me. Okay. Really testing

26:11

your commitment to the druid bit. 50.

26:14

That's exactly what I was looking for. Yeah,

26:16

you managed to... This is how determined I

26:19

am. I'm just... You're

26:22

both aware of it. You get sort of a

26:25

course of mile outside of the settlement

26:27

and... The dog's

26:29

gone. But I fall over. Oh. Catch

26:33

myself. Does the dog appear

26:35

back where I am? Yeah. It's

26:39

a popping dog. It's

26:42

not your house. It's been like... I

26:44

was being scratched. Oh. Yeah.

26:48

Is this right? Yes.

26:51

Yeah, that's right. It's basically fine. And

26:54

so the call

26:56

of smoke appear a thousand years

26:58

ago at around the same time as the

27:01

crystal. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And

27:03

you thought maybe these things connected.

27:06

We really weren't listening to the wizards. Yeah. Oh,

27:08

are we so hard to listen to? Okay.

27:10

Well, Liliana, it seems like we

27:13

probably need to go and investigate. Who's we? Oh,

27:16

wait. We. Yes. Yeah. Remember

27:18

teamwork? Making the dream work,

27:20

et cetera. Okay. I've drugged back from... I've

27:22

also drugged back. You are both. To

27:24

try and get the dog. You're supposed to learn the lesson

27:26

that, yes, you can escape there. Folks, we can get out

27:29

of town. We're fine. The dog popped back.

27:31

We didn't. So we can leave. Okay. But we can't bring the dog. Good

27:33

news. No. Do

27:35

we want to have a rest before we go?

27:37

I got some bin bag damage. You're more than

27:39

welcome to stay here. I don't think we should...

27:41

You're vanquishes of the annoying wizards. I know what

27:43

you mean. And also I would enjoy... Some elvish

27:45

mead. I would enjoy all that.

27:47

But I really don't feel like we should linger

27:49

here in case we end up... Like,

27:51

why are we able to leave? One

27:54

theory is because we haven't been here

27:56

very long. Oh, what's a rest of

27:58

precisely eight hours? We're all there. this

28:00

town has the horniest elves. I'm

28:02

sorry you can cut that.

28:07

Don't cut that. We're going to

28:09

rest for a bit and then we're going

28:11

to go check out this smoke. There's probably

28:13

some elvish bread that will restore six hit

28:15

points. Do you have any six point hit

28:17

point restoring to it? We have

28:19

elven bread such that you won't be hungry

28:21

for an entire day after you eat it.

28:24

Fetch the elven bread that after eating it

28:26

of which you won't be hungry for a

28:28

week. Someone come that way. A day, sorry.

28:31

Someone come that way with an enormous piece of

28:33

bread. There's pieces to it the size of a

28:35

man. Wow,

28:37

I kind of, I mean yeah technically I suppose

28:39

I say. Looking at it. Horizontal, don't be rude

28:41

to our host. I

28:44

swear we had some guest beds around here somewhere. At

28:47

some point in the last millennium. Honestly power nap,

28:49

power snooze, I'll eat this enormous piece of toast

28:51

and then we're good. You enjoy

28:53

a nice eight hour rest. Is anyone doing

28:55

anything particular during those eight hours? Obviously, Marilyn,

28:58

you're going to rave it up. I

29:02

only need a short rest because I am

29:05

like that. I

29:08

get up early and explore the town a little bit. Get

29:10

the local colour. I sleep for

29:13

exactly eight hours. That's a skill. At

29:15

some point I'd like to sort of

29:17

side-luck to Liliana and initiate

29:20

conversation. At some point

29:22

I've had eight hours. Alright, it's been going so well

29:24

so far. Hey, Liliana, it's

29:26

me. Dov. I...

29:32

From before. I've walked by. I

29:34

wanted to apologise for

29:37

all of the silly pop

29:39

disagreement that we had before

29:42

back at the tavern and also being a bit snippy

29:44

about the torches. I don't know what I was

29:47

thinking so yeah I suppose I basically just want

29:49

to say sorry normally

29:52

when an apology's

29:55

happening. Will you say like and I'm

29:57

sorry too? Yes, I can

29:59

see that. That I got a

30:01

little caught up in the right

30:03

yeah, the hands and frankly I'm

30:06

on reflection it was so silly

30:08

with a i think. Looking.

30:10

Back. I really cared so much about

30:12

thought because I didn't have very much.

30:14

Basically grown up I imagine you got

30:17

like a whole, probably like Egbert. Wait,

30:19

Staff doing all of your cooking and cleaning and

30:21

stuff like as the i think that's what I

30:24

was bringing. I think that's what I

30:26

think I was bringing a lot of my own personal

30:28

experience. Of maybe some biases know

30:30

I've lived a life of of constant

30:32

privilege. I've nomads what framing my life

30:34

he does not agree said that I

30:37

feel it's. Not

30:39

sarcasm. I'm sorry I

30:41

think that's a Dallas yeah. We

30:45

love our. Hypothesis.

30:47

That I've done a you turn on the

30:49

passive aggressive and energy and now I've been

30:52

on. It. Is

30:55

failing the a sustaining own With

30:57

our him Sigma you were looking

30:59

for any settlement. And. He magic. Of

31:01

the things, I was the most magazine counterparts in. The

31:04

Crystal Good Crist. Of a

31:06

magical. We

31:09

ought to tighten cola stuff. Isn't

31:11

that a lot? Services is is.

31:14

Tied to the list. Sexy Else

31:16

we've. Been.

31:18

Maybe that's what's happened here. The

31:20

crystal is sapping their sexiness. It's

31:22

a sec sapping Krista. We need

31:24

the risk know how else. Will

31:26

again the major impacts there isn't.

31:30

That a. Bad? I

31:32

know. That. You

31:35

find a surplus.

31:38

Library of Scrolls

31:40

and that. Ah,

31:43

Ah, lots of different schools in their

31:45

different the nostrils, different spells such cetera,

31:47

and. It starts by

31:50

a very, very bored Shockey. Her.

31:52

Husband. Had cause to sell. Any

31:55

wanna scroll in. A. Thousand

31:58

years move and year old. prices

32:00

are eye watering. He does offer

32:03

you a free scroll of moonbeam. Hey do you have

32:05

any more of those? Scroll

32:07

of moonbeam? No help yourselves. He

32:10

puts a bucket on the counter. There

32:12

are 20 scrolls

32:15

of moonbeam. Great.

32:18

I mean you might want one Marilyn. You never know when you

32:20

run out of space. Yeah I don't know if you've

32:22

ever heard of it. Everyone can have a scroll. I'll

32:24

put you on the up. Are you travelling with friends?

32:27

Everyone gets a free scroll of moonbeam. Ah

32:30

great. Everyone's here suddenly somehow

32:32

but I assume everyone

32:35

wants a scroll of moonbeam. Yeah yeah yeah.

32:37

Sorry yes this is prudent. Yeah very very

32:39

very very very very very good. Well

32:41

it's me and four friends. Some of

32:43

them can do moonbeam but you never know when

32:45

you might need a scroll of moonbeam. Alright. Are

32:48

you travelling with anyone else? Any frenemies? Oh

32:50

yes my nemesis. Maybe

32:54

just the four scrolls maybe five scrolls rather than

32:56

six. What do we think? I feel like

32:58

she might be annoyed.

33:00

I'll give you six and if you

33:02

decide for any of these

33:05

nemesis it's really worth it. Keep it. Thanks for

33:07

coming. It's a terrible business I run. I respect

33:10

that you've kept it

33:13

up for a thousand years. What else am I going

33:15

to do? Oh good

33:17

luck lifting whatever this curse is.

33:19

Yeah you might be selling

33:21

to all types very soon. Would

33:24

you like six more scrolls

33:26

of moonbeam? Yeah go on then. Yeah

33:28

go on then. Okay you now have

33:30

a dozen scrolls of moonbeam. Great. So

33:33

we head out to the

33:35

smoke column. How far away is this smoke column? A

33:37

couple of miles. Okay so we're looking a few hours.

33:39

A few hours now. Half

33:42

an hour's walk. How fast do people walk? About

33:45

three to four miles an hour. Alright fine. Yeah

33:47

but if I'm stopping and complaining all the time.

33:51

And begging to be carried. Oh two hours

33:53

a second. Should we role play all of

33:55

it? Yep. This is now a piggyback. This

33:57

is now

33:59

a real actual play. I

34:01

place one foot in front of the other. Okay

34:03

roll for it. Alright

34:06

let's go, let's hike.

34:09

What's the terrain like? Lovely valley here with

34:11

a little river winding through it and you

34:13

know then the mountain sort of like way

34:15

off that way. Charming. Yeah, oh it's all

34:17

very idyllic. Who's the slowest in the group?

34:19

He's probably the slowest he's looking for. Yeah

34:21

okay so I

34:23

go over and I pat Corazon

34:25

on the shoulder and say you

34:28

can do it and quietly cast

34:30

Longstrider so that he can move a little

34:32

bit faster for the next hour. Oh. Plus

34:34

turn to your speed if we end up in

34:36

combat enjoying. I mean I've got the same speed as

34:38

everyone else. No you don't.

34:40

No you don't. Okay I get there

34:42

an hour before everyone else can wait

34:44

around. Okay.

34:47

We'll just yeah just

34:50

walk longstride. Okay longstride.

34:52

No you just do

34:55

the like the dad energy walk where

34:57

you're out in front. Yeah yeah

34:59

yeah. Main character energy and waiting for everyone

35:01

and we're like we're supposed to

35:04

be enjoying this walk together and you're like I'm

35:06

not on. No no that's it. Yeah. Alright longstride.

35:10

I enjoy the scenery. I am doing nothing of

35:12

note on this journey except I imagine I am

35:15

sort of walking like at the furthest point from

35:17

Lili'Arna and I'm talking a lot to

35:21

whoever will talk to me so that I'm like

35:24

never caught not in

35:26

conversation. Okay. I'd like to

35:28

talk to Lili'Arna because I can walk slightly faster

35:30

than everyone else but not quite as fast as

35:32

Corazon. What is it with you and walking speed?

35:34

Why can't you walk slightly

35:37

faster? Because my walking speed is actually 35

35:39

foot because I'm a fleet footed elf.

35:42

I've decided my thing is controlling the party's

35:44

walking speed. No I just thought it'd

35:46

be fun like to be like let's use

35:49

a thing that I've not been able

35:51

to use for ages. Anyway I would

35:53

like to talk to Lili'Arna and just

35:55

be like hi I just want to

35:57

be I'm really

35:59

sorry about the vibes

36:03

between you and D.O.B.B. What

36:05

do you mean the vibes, there's nothing going on between me

36:07

and D.O.B.B.B.B.B.B.B.B.B. No, no, no, no, I know, I know. That's

36:09

precisely it. I think, he

36:12

thinks very highly of you. Duh.

36:16

But in a way that the rest of us do

36:19

not. Why not? Because

36:21

for him it's a little bit

36:24

romantic. Right,

36:29

yeah, no, and I'm asking the rest of

36:31

you why not. Oh, you're just not my

36:33

type, you're gorgeous. You're the sort

36:35

of person that I would definitely,

36:37

you know, I know some people who would... But

36:40

not you. No. If you were more into

36:42

like trees and things.

36:45

I don't recall asking you out,

36:47

Merlewen. Well, why do you care what I

36:49

think? Well, why are you rejecting me? Oh, I'm

36:51

vibing so hard. I'm vibing so hard. I'm

36:54

eavesdropping from 12 feet back I have to

36:56

walk. Well, look, look,

36:59

the reason why he might be being sniffy with

37:01

you is because he likes you and he doesn't

37:03

know how to properly say that

37:05

to you now. Because it's been so long since

37:07

our last time talking or

37:09

interacting or more likely just shouting

37:11

at each other. And now

37:14

that, you know, he doesn't quite

37:16

know what to do now that you're not

37:19

a, you know, nemesis. And so

37:21

I'd just like to apologise for, you

37:23

know, any bad feelings that

37:25

you might be getting from him. And I know that's

37:27

not him. OK. I

37:29

just don't want things to end

37:32

any worse than they could between us. I want us to leave

37:35

on amenable terms and I don't want you to

37:38

murder my friend because... Look, I already said

37:40

I wasn't going to murder your friend. Thinking

37:43

about it is free, though. Fair. Thank you.

37:46

OK. You eventually make

37:49

it with much toying

37:51

and froing. What took you all so long? You

37:54

reach a giant archway. If

37:57

you imagine sort of just like a huge archway, but kind

37:59

of... You've got like the gate and

38:01

then you've just got it immediately goes back

38:03

as if it's the entrance to like a

38:06

tunnel like I can underground

38:08

car park, but Ramp

38:12

to the surface of the gate enclosed

38:15

in brick And there is a

38:17

portcullis that is down but

38:19

has ruptured from with it. It's just completely

38:21

like From within

38:23

from within where's the smoke coming from? it

38:26

is kind of an ambient thing that is

38:28

just starting above the The

38:32

gate oh so the gate itself

38:34

isn't smoking necessarily. This is 20 foot above the

38:36

gate. There's sort of smoke and embers kind of

38:41

There are two dwarves they are dressed as

38:43

guards they are lying down idling on the

38:46

ground Like scratching the tummies one

38:48

of them's got a little thing of ale

38:50

what ho dwarf guards You

38:52

can see me And

38:56

you can see the gate. Well then buddy. I'll get

38:58

out the way. It's nearly time What?

39:02

you hear a rumbling

39:04

sound Coming from down

39:06

the tunnel and the ground starts to shake you

39:08

get out of the way get a long stride

39:10

out of the way Big

39:15

leg stride normally I don't think I wanted to

39:17

all know that in my mind I'm imagining my

39:19

legs are twice as long as normal That's

39:22

why I'm sure we've done a long stride a

39:24

bit before an enormous creature And

39:26

I'm talking like massive burst out of

39:28

the ground shrieking and

39:31

howling and galloping it

39:33

is basically it's all It's

39:36

it's just skeletal, but with like scraps of

39:38

flesh kind of hanging off its wings hanging

39:41

off its ribs It's got

39:43

like a long tail a massive

39:46

Infernus the skull that's kind of canine Almost

39:49

iconic actually kind of just like starts bounding

39:51

out of the way Sorry

39:54

bound bounding out of the tunnel, and

39:57

it goes absolutely like making a B line

39:59

at top speed towards the other

40:01

settlements and the doors

40:03

go that thing what

40:06

is it it gets ten

40:08

paces it gallops like ten paces

40:10

further forward and then disappears oh

40:15

angrished anguished cry from within

40:17

the tunnel and the

40:19

doors go every

40:22

day it doesn't learn oh no

40:25

what if we if

40:27

we stop this teleporting loop that thing's gonna

40:29

be able to make it to the elven

40:31

settlement oh the

40:35

thing yeah yeah no every day we've been at this

40:37

a thousand years now every day it breaks out and

40:39

it tries to devour that settlement yonder and every day

40:41

and so back where it started it's very funny what

40:44

is the nature of your employment oh we have to

40:46

guard the thing to make sure it doesn't get out

40:48

so you fail every day is it in the thing

40:50

I presumably you hear another roar from within the top

40:52

it's an easy job I just feel like you're sort

40:55

of doing your job 99% of the time but the

40:58

one set is very meaningful yeah you know what I

41:00

mean like because it does get out yeah

41:02

it doesn't reach the settlement and eat

41:04

it but you're not behind this

41:07

teleporting looping thing no

41:10

do you know who is no how

41:12

did you come to be here I feel

41:15

like we had a conversation with a very boring

41:18

wizard man yes

41:22

I think so levitate

41:24

we're here to sort

41:27

of list this whole

41:29

scenario right but if

41:31

we were to do that that would you

41:33

be able to stop that creature from destroying

41:35

the town well they haven't managed it you've

41:37

seen it it's massive but it is

41:40

literally your job though just because you haven't had to

41:42

do it in a thousand years presumably you were quick

41:44

for your ability to do it in the first place

41:46

our job is to stop it from escaping

41:49

and every day it

41:53

ends its day it remains in the

41:55

tunnel it's out for approximately 12 seconds

41:57

a day I consider that to be

41:59

a fairly high success rate. Our job

42:01

however is not to

42:03

destroy it or feed it or

42:05

care for it or anything. Okay but imagine

42:07

the scenario in which it didn't teleport back

42:10

into the cavern. Yes. Would you be able

42:12

to stop it from getting out of the

42:14

cavern in that situation? No. What

42:17

gets you if the elven settlement gets

42:19

destroyed? You're not from

42:21

there presumably? No. Where

42:23

are you from? We

42:25

were just traveling towards looking for

42:27

work. Right. And then this wizard

42:29

said would you like a job when we said yes.

42:31

I see. We should have checked to

42:34

see if you could do your job. Check contract as

42:36

well for how long it was. Yeah.

42:38

Quite long. Yeah. Alright

42:40

well this isn't a problem if we kill the dog

42:44

skeleton. It's not a problem

42:46

right? Yeah I think

42:48

that sounds like an elegant solution if you kill it

42:50

it will never get out. Of course you think that

42:53

because it requires you to not do any work. Yes.

42:56

But also they'll be out of a job although

42:58

I guess if it's dead down there that

43:01

it's not leaving. Exactly. No it's what I'm

43:03

saying is that there's a real opportunity here

43:05

for you to help improve our employee

43:07

efficiency. Hmm. As you say

43:11

if we're only effective 90 something percent of

43:13

the time because it gets out every

43:15

day then you could help us

43:18

bump up that number to 100. That thing

43:20

looked pretty mean. Meryl have you ever

43:22

seen anything like that before on your travels? That's

43:25

no animal or beast I've ever seen. What's

43:27

down there? The thing. But

43:30

what else? What takes it a day to return

43:32

to the surface? Well well the thing

43:34

is okay this

43:37

might seem a little bit weird but hold on. You

43:39

see and he starts walking down the tunnel is

43:42

you see if I ever try and go down

43:44

there then and then he appears next to you

43:46

because I just end up back on the step.

43:48

So I've never actually been down but from the

43:50

noises that come out this thing is still roaring

43:52

away in the background. Basically I feel like it

43:54

spends most of the day throwing a massive tanty.

43:57

I was really angry that it didn't get out in a

43:59

minute. Eventually it goes, you know what, I'm going to show them

44:01

and I'm going to get out, and it tries it and it

44:04

gets back in, has another tantrum, and

44:06

then before you know it, it's been a thousand

44:08

years. I see. Do

44:10

you think there's something in the cave, Prince,

44:14

that is causing this teleporting

44:17

vaccine? I just thought there

44:19

might be 24 hours worth of tunnels

44:21

that it has to do. No,

44:23

you're right, that is more likely, yeah. It has to

44:25

end its way up. Yeah, it's just like,

44:28

24 hours. It's just running

44:30

for 24 hours in the street, and then it

44:32

gets to the surface. Whee! So,

44:34

uh, so lay that wrong. Yeah, so

44:36

clearly the creature is affected by the

44:39

sort of teleporting back into the vision

44:41

thing. Why do we think Binbag did

44:43

this? Well, he wanted to protect

44:45

the elves and settlers, where the crystal is.

44:48

So do you think Binbag deliberately froze everything in

44:50

a... Yeah, I think this is a quick fix, uh,

44:54

and maybe we're, you

44:56

know, they said about people coming and it will change

44:58

it, maybe we're the ones... That's it,

45:01

yes, the prophecy of the ones who'll be able

45:03

to see us will come and put everything right

45:05

and they shall be rewarded with, uh... A crystal!

45:07

A crystal! Which we don't

45:09

have, by the way. No, no, don't worry. Okay,

45:11

so we don't have to pay anyone. No, no,

45:13

no. No, okay, great. No,

45:15

no, that's great one. Continue. And, unfortunately,

45:18

because you are unable to go into

45:20

this opening, we cannot make you come

45:22

with us. God, we're good at this. Yeah,

45:24

the town just said you'd give us 100 gold pieces, so... What?

45:28

They said something about 100 gold pieces. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

45:31

Well, there's probably lots of gold in the, uh... Oh, okay, fine.

45:33

We'll just take it out of that, then. Okay, great. Should we

45:35

try? All right, I mean, then we've got them. Well, we could,

45:37

like, collapse the cave and then it couldn't get out, but

45:39

then there might be something in there that stops the teleporting. And,

45:42

no, Prudence, can you, like, look into the cave or

45:44

anything? To take the magic or something? Send you a

45:47

little drone eye down there. Oh,

45:49

yeah. Not made of spell slots, everybody. Okay, well, we can just

45:51

go in. Yeah, I think we could, uh... You're made of spell slots, too, you

45:53

can get around. Yeah, I think we could, uh... Yeah,

45:56

I made a few spell slots exactly. Let's

45:58

do, let's do, pass with our... trace on

46:01

everyone okay and go and have

46:03

a wander and try not to gain attention

46:05

from the beast try and scope out the

46:07

area so yes like to

46:09

cast pass without trace on everyone

46:12

all righty then well

46:15

without any further ado I guess

46:18

are we all going downstairs yeah

46:20

yeah I suppose so Lily Anna

46:23

will you be coming or staying

46:25

up here no yes I'll

46:27

do my share of the work good yeah

46:32

I mean good that you let's

46:34

go you two doing all

46:36

right we're fine she says riding

46:39

down the tunnel right she says

46:41

we're fine so I suppose we're fine check

46:46

and add on top of your normal bonus it is

46:48

another 10 27 26 14 27 27 there's

46:55

no way to not make this seem meta Lily

46:57

Anna walks walks very stealthily down the corridor in

47:00

a way that says I got 31 and I

47:02

know that's higher than anyone else unfortunately

47:05

we don't notice it what did you get

47:07

again prudent 14 14 14 you're

47:13

shouting the number 14 doesn't stack the more

47:15

time I'm

47:19

receiving very quietly as far as you'll continue

47:21

you bet you've never moved this stealthily you

47:24

hear the creature go quiet suddenly

47:26

it is ominously still

47:29

although you swear you still feel the air ringing

47:31

from where it was just bellowing what kind of

47:34

tunnel is this is it like man-made

47:36

brick structure like a

47:38

mine or so at first it's kind

47:41

of man-made because you know it

47:43

was part of a structure but then

47:45

eventually it just turns into a natural rock

47:48

tunnel and then you emerge into

47:51

a cave that does not have an

47:54

absolutely massive skeletal weird

47:57

draconic type thing in it

48:00

However, you've got basically,

48:03

it's a vast cave. And

48:07

there's, like it's lit by some vines

48:09

and plants that have sort of a

48:11

bioluminescence. There are like pools of brackish

48:13

water everywhere. You can hear like the

48:15

chitter of bats overhead. And

48:18

on the opposite wall, there are

48:20

several different holes where like other

48:22

tunnels exist, like

48:24

a lot of them. You

48:27

suspect that this room is the main layer, but

48:29

that this thing has like a whole network of

48:31

tunnels. Mm. Begin the drop

48:33

on. Kind of. Yeah. It's a

48:36

drop on any prey foolish enough to venture into his

48:39

lair. Okay. Maybe

48:41

I don't know exactly how foolish we are.

48:43

Yeah. Not a big fan of this. Could

48:45

come out of a hole at any point. Should we split the party?

48:48

Take a, explore some tunnels each.

48:50

If you split the party, only the people

48:52

with me will get the plus 10 to

48:55

their self. Okay. I

48:57

think I should go with narrow one. Yeah. We

48:59

want to split up and try some different, I mean,

49:02

if we do find him, then we'll be in the

49:04

smaller group. Maybe we should pick, just pick a tunnel

49:06

and just be lucky to investigate. What's the

49:08

ground like? Has it left any tracks? Has it?

49:11

Hey, great. Stored up. Great question. Stored up

49:13

the edge. Can we tell which way it's gone?

49:15

You can see on the walls and on

49:17

the floor, like just a patchwork of deep

49:19

claw marks as this thing has come and

49:22

gone and raged and. How deep

49:24

are we talking? I mean, definitely break the skin.

49:26

You reckon? To bone, do we think? Yeah.

49:29

Like the claws on this thing is probably about that

49:31

long. Pluck your heart out on a single claw sort

49:33

of vibes. Yeah. Right. Okay. Cool

49:36

and good. Cool, cool, good, good, cool, cool.

49:38

We're forgetting. We do have a sort

49:40

of God-like powerful sorceress with us. Do

49:43

we? When we saw- When did you last see her?

49:46

Well, she was right. I

49:48

can't believe this. I'm right here.

49:54

She's there all along. Have you ever seen

49:56

any cloud of d pretend? Can

50:00

you scry the location of this thing?

50:02

You killed a dragon. You

50:05

can kill this thing, right? I killed a dragon. You

50:07

didn't? No, not that I've been spying

50:09

on you or anything, but didn't you then meet that

50:12

dragon and help it relocate its entire clutch of eggs?

50:14

I can't keep track of every dragon. You'd

50:17

better remember my name. A

50:20

dragon! Oh no, no,

50:22

no. I

50:25

mean, yes, I'm fairly certain

50:28

I can track it. I can

50:30

find out where it is. Are you sure

50:32

you'd like me to do that? Why wouldn't we want you

50:34

to do that? Can we see that face? Or is it

50:36

invisible? You can see the face. A woman

50:38

with dark vision can see that. There's

50:42

a large colony of bats on the ceiling. You

50:44

might cast a seat with animals on one of

50:46

the bats. Yeah, right, yeah. Hey, dude. Yeah. Just

50:49

for my own amusement, I would like it to

50:51

have worked on all the bats. There's about a

50:53

thousand of them and they all speak at once.

50:55

Oh, brilliant. Just like a thousand bats going, hello!

50:58

So beautifully coordinated. I'm

51:00

rolling on the floor covering my ears. He's kissing

51:02

the rest of you. It's

51:05

just... It's

51:07

screeching. And I'm like,

51:09

oh, oh, oh. Hey,

51:11

folks, it's me, Andy, and Jane is here

51:14

too. Hi, hi, hi, hi. We've got some

51:16

great news about merch. We've found a load

51:18

of old and retired items

51:20

and they're back in the store ready

51:23

for you to get your purchase on.

51:25

We have Corazon's Cannon Smoked Ice. Yeah.

51:27

Those great dice. We've got maps,

51:30

we've got shirts, we've got all

51:32

kinds of classic vintage OxVenture and

51:34

Outside Xbox and Outside Extra goodies

51:37

restocked in the store. That's at

51:39

store.outsidexbox.com. You

51:41

should go check those out for the

51:43

elusive goodies that maybe you missed the first

51:45

time around. You won't believe these bargains, folks.

51:47

Head on over to store.outsidexbox.com for all

51:49

the stuff you thought you'd miss forever.

51:51

It's back and waiting for you. The

51:55

other creature that lives here with you,

51:58

do you know where it is? Yes. Do

52:01

you know what it is? Well,

52:05

Megan's angry. That's true.

52:07

Have you ever seen a resurrected Galatian dragon? I've

52:09

not seen one but I can imagine one, and

52:11

it... We have seen one. ...looks

52:13

exactly like the one that we saw tear out

52:15

of here, so yeah, that makes sense. So you

52:17

have seen one? Yes. Do

52:19

you want us to go fetch it? Um,

52:22

don't fetch it. Could you tell me where

52:25

it is? Could you guide me? All

52:27

of these tunnels, it's sort of just a network of,

52:29

you know, it'll be a popping one, tunneling, carding the

52:31

other one. Yeah. Do you want us

52:34

to lead you to the specific... If possible,

52:36

yes. Yes, sure. As discretely as... All of

52:38

that, yeah? No, no, no, just like one

52:40

or two. Yes, correct. At

52:42

Marowen, I say, barely

52:45

able to see it. I'll come

52:47

back, friend. If

52:49

there's anything else in this tunnel network

52:51

except for a big skeletal dragon, that

52:54

may be a time-looping

52:56

teleporter generator, magical equipment. Yeah,

52:58

yeah, okay. Just anything. Mm-hmm,

53:01

okay. Okay, outside

53:03

of you and the skeletal dragon,

53:07

is there anything else in

53:09

here with you? It doesn't have to be living, maybe

53:11

a shiny stone? Uh,

53:16

no. Not a shiny stone. Okay, so is

53:18

it just you? It's just

53:21

us and a big dragon and

53:23

about two grounding gold pieces, all

53:26

of it buried under a batchet.

53:29

Well, thank you for that information. Oh, are

53:31

you going to fight it or something? You look

53:33

like a adventurous. Yeah, I

53:35

think so. All right, you want a hand? Yes,

53:37

please. Okay. We've got a thousand

53:39

of them. Does every bat have a single hand? Wait, do

53:42

you have a... Yeah. A

53:46

large human hand on its chin. Yeah, yeah. The

53:48

voles have a thousand. Yeah, they all open their

53:50

wings. Sure, why not? And

53:52

there's every single one of them holding him in

53:54

hand. What A horrifying image. The worst mental

53:56

image ever. I Can start those mole but in

53:59

bat form. The been over a thousand years they

54:01

must have been in some weird stuff to be. Shocked

54:05

me I for decades actually matter that they

54:07

can understand the to give understanding things like

54:09

I'm guessing you just have some shrieking and

54:11

than a thousand bucks as one so. No

54:14

matter, How. This

54:18

on the dragon thing, can it be? Can

54:20

it be reasoned with? The dragons can be

54:22

somewhat reasoned with what I mean. You know

54:24

about dragons. You a part of the religious

54:26

order that yeah about resurrected ones though that's

54:28

never come up in your studies. Such persons

54:30

dragons in to connect the ancient and beautiful

54:32

language of the dragon, for whom he sounds

54:34

a bit like that. As I said, It's

54:38

a thing completely like. Barrel.

54:40

Or is it. Can. Be have

54:42

a chance is that try the doesn't seem

54:44

to be anything in here anyway. of kind

54:46

of turning off the teleport he feels you

54:48

is. So. I think

54:50

maybe putting the. Track. And to

54:53

rest. He. Saying that his

54:55

mistress the track and was causing it.

54:57

It's stopping the dragon from achieving it's

54:59

goal of destroying the town. Yeah.

55:01

I think it, it's there as a protection against

55:03

the dragon and then if the dragon is. No

55:06

longer than a dozen look at. it works. I've

55:08

been back put the sort of time freeze on

55:10

because he sought to the dragons. Why shouldn't he

55:12

could resurrect the dragon so he's like well I'll

55:14

just stop it from getting to the else town.

55:16

Probably a test isn't as well enough. We know

55:18

this thing and where were these have a crystal

55:20

on? We've solved that because we've pierce the veil

55:23

and seen through the problem. We could have been

55:25

back to turn it off his for be amenable

55:27

to. Have

55:30

been bag as an increasingly. I.

55:36

Like to get a success and like don't

55:38

worry about a hands, it's very. Weird, but

55:40

whatever. that is the Guinness guy

55:42

that. To. The

55:45

dragon and the next. Thirty one and

55:47

like. I have no

55:49

with my want to or not I can

55:51

I decided we got there will be can

55:53

back up when we sets are like our

55:55

knowledge of dragons and. Yeah.

55:57

Like and to see if we can if we know anything about. and

56:00

if they have any weaknesses anything like that. If we

56:02

pick up any information do the same. Can she do

56:04

a check? If anyone's gonna

56:06

know about this stuff it's

56:08

Liliana. It's not the dragonborn. Yeah it's Liliana.

56:13

Oh by the way Corazon there's a bunch of poo

56:16

beneath us but beneath that is a lot

56:18

of gold. All right I'll do the mental calculus on that. 14

56:20

minus one. 30 20 21. The druid got 12. 10. 10 points.

56:22

Between all of you including Liliana you

56:35

managed to piece together the following things. Firstly

56:38

this is a drago lich. It has been

56:40

created just by some like evil doers

56:42

who are like distinct larks.

56:45

Let's let's imbue uh uh

56:48

perform a ritual to to make a a

56:51

tyrannical ravening

56:53

um undead dragon

56:56

um they're nails they're absolutely nails but um the

56:58

good news is if they ever die then their

57:00

spirit will go into a gem or I suppose

57:02

you might call it a crystal um

57:04

it's not really a eureka moment because it's

57:06

it's more dreadful than it

57:09

is exciting but you're like yeah we probably

57:11

should kill this guy yeah yeah don't bother

57:13

with lightning and poison okay okay

57:15

cancel plan find its soup a

57:19

goblet of wine with you dragon how

57:24

about we just proceed onwards as stealthily as

57:26

possible bearing in mind we're flanked by a

57:29

thousand bats a couple of them are gonna

57:31

show us the way that the others are

57:33

gonna be on backup is that okay the rest

57:35

of you are on backup once the fight starts

57:37

you guys come with fabulous just stay at danger

57:39

until you need to be involved really also

57:42

hang on hang on what's your eggbit

57:45

go why don't we ask each of the bats to

57:47

carry away one of its bones i was trying to

57:49

think of a way that a thousand hands could be

57:51

useful in the situation and that's it each one can

57:53

grab a bone and they can just all fly away

57:56

yeah and separate them okay i think

57:58

we need to weaken the dragon to avoid.

58:01

He can just pull the bones. I don't know, I think I'm

58:03

prepared to spend some bats finding out if we need to weaken

58:05

it or not. Okay, okay, okay. All

58:07

right, they can't understand me. Gang. I

58:09

haven't passed my speak with animals. Why do you

58:11

want me to call this? We'd

58:15

like you to help us pull the dragon apart.

58:18

Brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, right.

58:21

Yeah. Great. Sort of like

58:23

an initiator thing. Yeah. it.

58:27

Yeah? Well, gang. So, if that's a

58:29

thumbs up, what happens? Ah, come

58:31

on, man. A thousand

58:33

little thumbs. A thousand

58:35

times, yeah. There's a thousand

58:37

thumbs. Yeah. Yeah, I hate it.

58:39

You should not go any further into

58:41

these tunnels to find this dragon. I agree.

58:44

I like that plan. Because we know that the dragon is going

58:46

to come through here at some point in the

58:48

next 24 hours. This is a

58:51

big open space. It feels like a boss arena. Yeah. We

58:53

should lay track here. There are all these health packs on the floor. Yeah.

58:56

So, when it's going to come barrelling through here with

58:58

only health destruction on its mind. Let's

59:01

put traps in the holes. Yeah. If

59:03

it flows through one of them. Bam. Great.

59:06

Are there any areas of this room that aren't covered with

59:08

scratch marks? Is there any area where it looks like the

59:10

dragon hasn't actually managed to scrabble up to?

59:13

Like any ledges or anything like? Doesn't sink in on the ceiling.

59:15

I like it because it's covered in

59:17

bats. Yeah, with weird hands. Yeah, I can relate.

59:19

Yeah, I can relate. What were you thinking? I

59:22

was just wondering whether there's

59:24

a place where we could, you know, if we're rigging

59:26

traps. If there's a place where we could hide where we'd

59:28

be. Excuse me. There's like 10

59:30

feet of bird filth. Bat

59:33

filth that we stood on. You mean hide in the

59:35

bat filth? Yeah, I placed my leg in it all

59:37

the way up to the hip. I

59:42

genuinely can use Mask of the Wild.

59:46

That's very clean animals, I expect. I thought

59:48

I'm in. He's very caustic. Go on, now.

59:50

Oh, wow. I kid a puppy as well.

59:53

Yeah. That's actually quite clever. You

1:00:00

hear that guy? That looks very cool,

1:00:03

Leona. You hear that guy? No,

1:00:06

Mike is still with Leona. I can't hear

1:00:08

a damn thing. So she

1:00:10

can be on the ceiling. I can be

1:00:12

on the ceiling. She's next to Dab. She's

1:00:16

up to her eyes in Guano. She

1:00:18

looks over and says... Leona!

1:00:22

Leona, I'm here with this thing. There's

1:00:24

a lot of talk in the actual thing as well. Oh, okay. I

1:00:28

think I'm not a miscommunication. I'm

1:00:30

good, actually. I mean, this is an

1:00:32

expensive coat. I don't want to sink up

1:00:35

to my neck in Guano while I'm wearing it. I

1:00:38

reach up. I gently step

1:00:40

away from Dab's grass in Guano. And

1:00:46

we've reached the Johnny is questioning

1:00:48

their life choices portion of the plan. Shall we just try

1:00:50

and get into a position? Shall

1:00:54

we pick a position and get into it? Let's get

1:00:56

some tramp set up. I would

1:00:58

like to cast Spike Gross in

1:01:03

the entry way that we think the dragon has

1:01:05

come through. Lovely. Great.

1:01:08

Lilliana raises

1:01:11

her hand and is going to

1:01:13

go... She

1:01:16

casts Delay Blast Fireball on the ceiling.

1:01:18

A combination up to a minute. That's

1:01:20

going to go off and probably take down a

1:01:22

lot of the ceiling with it. Who's got water

1:01:24

on them? I've got a small amount of water.

1:01:28

I didn't have time before we left.

1:01:30

I can shape water. Oh,

1:01:32

okay. That also sounds great. What are you looking for?

1:01:36

Well, what I'm thinking is this whole place is

1:01:38

sort of thick with back droppings. If

1:01:40

we create a pit and pour a load of

1:01:42

water into the middle of it and create a sort

1:01:44

of wet flurry... Burned. Viewers,

1:01:49

that was our producer behind a curtain

1:01:52

going... A

1:01:54

little more professionalism out

1:01:56

there, please. Now

1:02:00

as I was saying, the flurry will slow the

1:02:02

day down. As it charges

1:02:05

through, one sinks into it, not expecting

1:02:07

it, because every day it just sort of scaffolds over the top. Yeah,

1:02:11

well before we have... Sunken flurry. I've

1:02:15

got grease, like a firwood grease. Put

1:02:17

grease in it as well. I'd

1:02:19

also like to cast

1:02:22

Mould Earth, as in MO...

1:02:25

Yeah, basically I can cause the ground to become difficult to

1:02:27

rain for an hour. So

1:02:29

just ask for the micro... It's

1:02:32

really difficult to rain already! So,

1:02:34

so, micro, difficult to rain, poor...

1:02:37

Yeah, which is useful, because it... It

1:02:39

blows the... Yeah, OK. Good,

1:02:41

anyone else, any more for any more? I... I tried

1:02:43

to ask. What's

1:02:46

the visibility like in here? You can see, all

1:02:48

right. Is parts of that trace active? Yes.

1:02:51

Oh, wait, wait, wait, I've got a double check, so it's

1:02:53

concentration. It is, right? If I have set

1:02:56

up... Yeah, you've

1:02:58

cast two more spells. I

1:03:00

need to... It's OK, I can cast different

1:03:03

spells, but if it's another concentration spell... Oh, I

1:03:05

see. Then I cannot, and I

1:03:07

think... It's like growth on the... Like growth is a concentration spell.

1:03:09

OK, fine, I was just wondering, in case I'm hiding. What

1:03:12

I can do is I can cast Stone

1:03:14

Shape, just making a little

1:03:16

door in the wall, if you want to

1:03:18

hide behind the door. It's really obvious,

1:03:20

it's just a wooden door, and there's like a little

1:03:22

outro now. Wait, you can make a wooden

1:03:24

door as part of Stone Shape. Well, like a door, a

1:03:27

doorway. A

1:03:29

little hide and run. We need something to

1:03:31

spring out of, excitingly. I like the sound of that,

1:03:33

little side edge. Yeah, I can make

1:03:35

a... I

1:03:37

can shape a stone door... If

1:03:40

we know what... Yeah, I can shape... It's

1:03:42

a stone door. If we know what

1:03:44

corridor it's like going through super quickly, you

1:03:46

could just pop up a little wall and smack into

1:03:48

it. That's a good idea. That's slightly

1:03:51

different, but I could... Yeah, yeah,

1:03:53

I could put a stone... Yeah,

1:03:55

yeah. We could, at the

1:03:57

very least, like close off. the

1:04:00

exit that it's trying to head through so

1:04:03

that it is trapped with us. But

1:04:05

then we're trapped with it. Yeah, but we... Yes,

1:04:09

but it's a fight to the death. Alright,

1:04:11

well I'm ready to fight for the death, I guess. But

1:04:13

we've got the bats. I've also just

1:04:16

noticed that the physical component of delayed

1:04:18

blast fireball is a tiny ball of

1:04:20

guano and sulfur. That's guano and sulfur.

1:04:23

Oh, great. Wait, does that mean

1:04:25

that it could be an extra big

1:04:27

fireball? Sure, yeah, why not. Could be more

1:04:29

extra large of a guano. Okay, um,

1:04:32

right, right. Let's go. That

1:04:34

was weird. Okay, a thousand bats

1:04:36

are going to go try and pull all the bones

1:04:38

off an adult blue

1:04:40

dracolich. Maybe we should, maybe that should happen

1:04:42

once the dragon's in here and it's stuck

1:04:45

and then the wrenching. Yes.

1:04:48

So we just wait for it here. Yeah, it's

1:04:51

going to come through here at some point. Alright,

1:04:53

let's settle down to a nice picnic in this guano

1:04:55

room. Okay, I just want to make

1:04:57

sure the bats don't get blown up by Liliana's spell.

1:05:00

Well, it's going to explode in a minute, so

1:05:02

maybe we shouldn't just wait for it to come

1:05:04

by. Cool, let's do this. Yeah, alright. Oh yeah,

1:05:06

got about it. Bats, new plan, go

1:05:09

get him. Yeah. Alright. Um,

1:05:11

a thousand bats take to the

1:05:14

air, their fingers twitching

1:05:16

menacingly. I don't think I can bear to

1:05:19

not see, but you can

1:05:21

canonically not see this, like

1:05:23

attempt to pull the dragon apart with a thousand.

1:05:26

I need to know what I'm talking about. Yeah, Prudence,

1:05:28

can we all have a look through your drone in

1:05:30

the highway? I think it's my

1:05:32

precious spell. To use a few

1:05:35

spells, but... My die down

1:05:37

the tunnel. To see the dracolich. Well,

1:05:42

the bats rolled a nat 20. Yeah! Come

1:05:45

on bats. Come on, hands bats. Bats

1:05:47

ready? Yeah, you two, they're all

1:05:49

20. They just

1:05:51

carry back its skull. Not

1:05:54

quite, but they do basically, they're

1:05:56

kind of like all... You

1:06:00

know when ants have got hold of something and they're

1:06:02

pulling it all in different ways? The bats, like, flapping

1:06:04

frantically as their human hands grip onto things and

1:06:07

one of them, like, manages to prize

1:06:09

out a tooth and kind of make

1:06:11

up with that a bunch of them are grabbing onto the

1:06:13

ribs that make up its wings and

1:06:15

they effectively just, like, the dragonlet

1:06:17

starts roaring and screaming and trying to get purchased so

1:06:20

that it can turn around and try and do these

1:06:22

bats in they effectively pull off

1:06:24

its wings Yes! Nice! Come on the bat!

1:06:26

A good number of its teeth and

1:06:28

about half of its tail Wow!

1:06:32

Which is, um... I'll

1:06:34

be honest with you, it's probably good for you because this

1:06:36

bite... It wasn't going

1:06:38

to be easy and it probably still won't be but

1:06:40

I'm going to knock off... I'll knock 100 hit points

1:06:42

off it Yeah!

1:06:45

And it's not... Okay, go on

1:06:47

Oh, it's not hard yet We're...

1:06:51

Okay, fine So,

1:06:54

thank the bats for us please, Merlewyn That

1:06:56

was clear to be heard Well done, Hal

1:06:59

So you watch this happen and then, like... It's

1:07:02

kind of cool, like... Almost

1:07:05

like the camera follows the bats from backstage

1:07:07

into the arena and they all kind of

1:07:09

come out and it's like... Oh! Like,

1:07:12

carrying all of these bones and

1:07:15

they just start flying straight out of a

1:07:17

cave and they just pop straight back

1:07:19

in and they're kind of caught in an infinite loop

1:07:21

Anyway, they sort of throw the bones over to the

1:07:23

side and they're like, homecoming,

1:07:25

see you later! And the

1:07:27

bats are just going to go hide Yeah, they're

1:07:30

good, they're only little, they won't

1:07:32

have many hit points And we'll probably

1:07:34

roll for initiative though, won't we? Yeah!

1:07:36

Eight Ten Eight

1:07:39

for Merlewyn Nine for

1:07:41

Prudence Ten for Dobb

1:07:43

Eggbert, what was yours? At nine

1:07:45

And yeah, so the Draculitz basically...

1:07:48

It comes absolutely hooning down this tunnel You

1:07:50

can see it sort of emerging It's going

1:07:53

to go over the spike growth but we're

1:07:55

going to resolve that on this turn Okay

1:07:58

So they're going to go anywhere near the grease pit Oh,

1:08:02

go on then let's resolve it all. How big is

1:08:04

spike growth? It's a 20-foot

1:08:06

radius and it's a d4 for every 2d4

1:08:08

every 5 feet Great.

1:08:12

Can you all 16 d4 please? That is

1:08:14

36. 36 damage got it Is

1:08:19

it dead now? No Yeah,

1:08:22

sorry you see a bunch of just

1:08:25

bone fragments pinging up into the

1:08:27

ceiling as the spike growth says take chunks out of it

1:08:30

It just starts roaring louder.

1:08:34

This thing is pissed off. Yeah, it's like

1:08:36

it's It's

1:08:40

very obsessed with me Let's

1:08:43

lid into the slurry It's

1:08:45

got the there's the mark put the molder

1:08:48

before yes, just got terrain like

1:08:50

it's doing a tough mud. Oh

1:08:52

Yeah Go

1:08:57

on it's gonna go in

1:08:59

for that. Yeah, just like and then

1:09:01

yeah, it's it's not looking out for it Yeah,

1:09:05

great. It's in The

1:09:07

slurry the grease slurry. Yeah, great. Great. Yeah.

1:09:09

Okay. Cool. Now. It's in the flammable

1:09:12

grease pool. I'm going to Press

1:09:15

the button on my cutlass that says use in

1:09:18

case of emergencies that

1:09:20

I believe There's a

1:09:23

third level fireball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You

1:09:26

got same throwing cutlass. Yeah Yeah,

1:09:29

I just don't use it very often because There

1:09:32

was It says it's dangerous. Well,

1:09:34

there was some talk of dreadful consequences. I

1:09:36

believe it feels like So

1:09:41

I sort of like point

1:09:43

away from Hey And

1:09:46

press the button nice. Yeah, I Rolled

1:09:49

five which is a fail, but the adult

1:09:51

blue dracolich gets a legendary resistance three

1:09:53

per day If it fails a saving throw

1:09:56

it can choose to succeed instead. Oh,

1:09:58

okay. It goes good choice On

1:10:01

second thoughts I think I'll succeed. Yeah, it

1:10:03

takes half damage. It still takes damage. What do

1:10:05

I roll? So that'll be 46. Or,

1:10:09

if you'd rather, 86 and then halberd. Is

1:10:11

this our first legendary action? I think

1:10:14

this might be your first legendary thing. Is

1:10:16

it really legendary when you've pulled a

1:10:18

bunch of it off with freaky hand

1:10:21

bats? I regret

1:10:23

my choice of words there. That's 13. 13,

1:10:27

alright. You

1:10:30

know what you're actually getting somewhere with this thing? Bonus

1:10:33

action, I'll just pop open Marilyn's

1:10:35

door and just slide in. The

1:10:39

cabin, crevice, wherever we are. What

1:10:41

am I in, some kind of crevice? Yeah,

1:10:44

it's literally just like a cupboard, because it

1:10:46

can only go five foot in any direction.

1:10:48

Do you want a stealth check? Yeah,

1:10:50

go on then. Dirty twin. Okay, unfortunately

1:10:52

it's 28 from the Dracula. Dang, okay.

1:10:55

It ducks the fireball, kind of goes

1:10:57

like, because it still takes some damage. And

1:10:59

then just watches me walk into

1:11:01

a stone door. You get, there's no flesh on

1:11:03

its face, but you get the impression it's raised

1:11:05

in eyebrow. Sort of like a gentle

1:11:07

tilt of the head. Okay.

1:11:10

Like a furious puppy. Liliana

1:11:15

is going to let that, I think she's

1:11:17

going to let that delay blast fireball go.

1:11:19

Cool. Okay, so Liliana

1:11:21

basically still submerged in guano,

1:11:23

just kind of goes like,

1:11:27

and this delay blast fireball, it just

1:11:29

turns out it's basically a 20 foot

1:11:31

sphere of flame, just reaches down, reaches

1:11:34

the top of the dracolyt. And it's

1:11:36

like, really unhappy about it. It

1:11:39

takes 52 points of damage. Oh, nice. And

1:11:42

I'm also going to say that a bunch of

1:11:44

the ceiling comes down. Dang, Liliana. Do, do, for

1:11:46

another three points of damage. I

1:11:50

would like to emerge excitingly from the

1:11:52

guano. So

1:11:54

I'll propel myself up in the air. Yeah. And

1:11:57

this great sentence is not to do. during

1:12:00

your adventure. Yep. It's like,

1:12:03

my gut tells me there's a strong chance this will

1:12:05

kill every bat. Um,

1:12:08

I don't know. Okay. Let's

1:12:10

find out together. Sure. Through

1:12:12

collaborative storytelling. I find out when I cast Kill

1:12:15

Bat. Um,

1:12:17

yeah, I just want to aim the

1:12:19

mother of all Shatter spells, um,

1:12:22

right in the, I think rib cage

1:12:24

feels right to me. Cool. No,

1:12:26

no, no, no, no. The legs are sort of

1:12:29

sunk in what? Yeah. That's

1:12:31

kind of where the legs join the body. What's on with the center of

1:12:33

the skull? I don't think like it would blow

1:12:35

it apart. Right. Also, we don't know that this

1:12:37

thing. What kind of Shatter spell is this?

1:12:39

There's no brain in there anymore. You've got five seconds

1:12:41

to decide. Would this thing stop it? Four, three, two,

1:12:43

one. Legs, legs, legs, shoulders, whatever the dragon. Shoulders, perfect.

1:12:45

Yeah, shoulders. Yeah, perfect. Shoulders, shoulders,

1:12:47

knees and toes. Yeah. Litch, shoulders,

1:12:49

knees and toes. Yeah. Litch, shoulders,

1:12:51

knees and toes. Yeah. Knees and toes.

1:12:54

That is, it's a con saving throw, isn't it? I

1:12:57

mean, like you still kind of, I'm going to say you like blow

1:12:59

one of its scapular off. Sure. Like

1:13:02

you ever seen a Draculich's

1:13:04

shoulder blade go pinging off into a ceiling? Yeah,

1:13:07

that is a real treat. Pretty cool. I

1:13:10

definitely imagine this in a way that was like

1:13:12

a now looking back. Oh. It's

1:13:15

just like a loud ringing

1:13:17

like supersonic sort of feedback thing. Oh,

1:13:19

you're right. It is definitely loud. It

1:13:22

says a sudden loud ringing noise painfully

1:13:24

intense. So the bats aren't dead now.

1:13:26

They just are unable to detect food

1:13:28

and evil because of their echolocation. Yeah,

1:13:30

it's fine. They'll die in a few days.

1:13:32

Yeah, they'll see tomorrow, but they'll not. You've just

1:13:34

given a thousand bats tinnitus. Aww.

1:13:37

That'll be fine. I definitely imagine Dob springing out

1:13:39

of the guano in a and now for the

1:13:41

killing blow kind of way. Yeah.

1:13:44

So in my mind, he is just sort of

1:13:46

like now just in front of the dragon. From

1:13:50

around your ankle height, you just hear.

1:13:53

Wow. Teamwork. Hey,

1:13:56

but you'll go. I'm going to

1:13:58

hit it with my mate. It's not my intention. to

1:14:00

turn it into anything else really. Okay. Which

1:14:02

is occasionally what happens when I hit things

1:14:04

with my cursed mate. Indeed. Assuming I don't

1:14:07

turn it into anything else, I would like

1:14:09

to use a spell called Insnaring Strike. Ooh!

1:14:12

I remember used before. Yeah. Um...

1:14:15

Ooh, fresh. Yeah, exactly. The next time you hit

1:14:17

a creature with a weapon attack, before this spell

1:14:19

ends, it spells a bonus action. Mm-hmm. A riding

1:14:21

mass of thorny vines appears at the point of

1:14:24

impact, and the target must seed on a strength

1:14:26

saving throw or be restrained by the magical vines

1:14:28

until the spell ends. Oh, yeah. duration's up to a

1:14:30

minute. Um... Look who's got

1:14:32

a paladin on their team. Ooh! A

1:14:35

large or larger creature has advantage on the

1:14:37

saving throw, unfortunately. Okay, yeah, it will have

1:14:39

advantage on the saving throw. But if it

1:14:41

does work, while restrained by the spell, it

1:14:43

takes 1d6 piercing damage, but I

1:14:45

was going to maybe cast it from like a

1:14:48

third level spell slot. Go for it! Because I

1:14:50

get an extra 1d6 for each of those. Oh,

1:14:52

it's lovely! So that would be 3d6 if it

1:14:54

works. All right. Okay, I rolled a... I

1:14:57

only rolled a 12. Okay. For the

1:14:59

attack. Uh, I'm afraid it's armor class

1:15:01

is 19. You still have inspiration

1:15:03

from... Yes! The previous session. Re-roll!

1:15:05

Let's do that. Let's do a re-roll. Is

1:15:10

only a 30. Okay. Down

1:15:12

the Pachinko machine. Yeah. Oh. You

1:15:15

basically... You

1:15:18

walk up and you lash up with your mace,

1:15:22

and there's this massive spatter of matter as

1:15:24

you hit. Turns out

1:15:26

that wasn't part of the Dracolich. It was just... A

1:15:28

load of poop. A load of poop. So

1:15:30

I have to see if the poop turns into anything. No.

1:15:33

No. It would only turn into a different

1:15:35

kind of poop. Oh. Different animal's

1:15:37

poop. Yeah, different animal's poop. And

1:15:39

we've come up like... We've done a lot

1:15:41

of things. Yeah. With our seasons. But there's

1:15:43

some ways that you shouldn't cry. Yeah. Yeah,

1:15:46

fine. It was worth a shot. You know what? It was worth

1:15:48

a shot. That's the most paladin thing you've done in quite a

1:15:50

long... Wait, I can attack twice, can't I? Give it another day.

1:15:53

Yeah, they'll... Yeah, screw it. Do it again. Go

1:15:55

on. Funny. Critical one. Oh! Oh!

1:16:00

The universe is telling you not to do paladin

1:16:02

things. Yeah exactly. Give it up paladin. This is

1:16:04

why I don't do it. Okay. Take that hit

1:16:06

himself with the mace. Yes, talk yourself with the

1:16:09

mace. Rolodysix please. No. The

1:16:12

one. Oh. Alright. They're just stuck in

1:16:14

my toe with it all of them.

1:16:16

Yeah. I'm backpedaling away from the guano

1:16:19

mess because I... ...beefue the new. Yeah,

1:16:21

no, no, no. Very expensive. And

1:16:24

I would like to cast Eldritch

1:16:26

Blast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep

1:16:29

it simple. And see what we do. Alright. I

1:16:32

was really just the warm up act for Eldritch Blast. No.

1:16:35

We'll see. The comedy idiot. We'll

1:16:37

put it together for the comedy stylings of

1:16:39

Eggman. Opening for Eldritch Blast. Okay,

1:16:42

so... Twin beams

1:16:45

of Eldritch Blast. Oh,

1:16:47

that's an 18 and an 18. Oh

1:16:50

no, because it's a 19. Very. Oh,

1:16:52

okay. You basically... I'm

1:16:55

just imagining it passes through. Like, just

1:16:57

through the gap. Just through the gap. Yeah. Which

1:17:00

is cool. It's like a laser light show. Okay.

1:17:04

Well, sorry everybody, I say. Walk

1:17:06

it off. Open up a deck chair and

1:17:08

sit down. Marowyn is... well. I'm

1:17:11

Mask of the Wild. A

1:17:13

court. Around in the Guatana. She appears as a...

1:17:15

Marrowyn doesn't know where I am. She appears as

1:17:17

a human shaped pile of guano. Elks

1:17:20

shaped. Sorry, elks shaped. A

1:17:23

DC20 deck saving throw for you, Dov. I'm also

1:17:25

going to make one for Liliana. Two.

1:17:29

Okey dokey. Basically

1:17:31

what happened, the

1:17:33

Draculich, it is ailing and it's

1:17:35

starting to sink down into the

1:17:38

mire. But

1:17:41

as its strength really starts to

1:17:43

ebb, it kind of... It's

1:17:45

silent apart from the clacking of bones because it's

1:17:48

got no lungs to draw breath in with. But

1:17:51

you see its head kind of rear back. And then just in a

1:17:53

90 foot line that

1:17:55

is 5 feet wide, it blasts you

1:17:57

with lightning breath. You're

1:18:00

about to take 12d10 lightning damage.

1:18:04

12d10? Okay.

1:18:07

You're gonna take 80 points of damage. Okay.

1:18:12

Soak it up, Dov. Do you remember

1:18:14

there was that one time in

1:18:16

X-Men where Wolverine got run over

1:18:19

by a steamroller? And

1:18:21

he survived on a sort

1:18:23

of molecular level. Right, yeah. And

1:18:26

was able to come back from that. That's

1:18:28

sort of where Dov's at. Oh, right. Are you planning

1:18:30

to hit points of your house? Now? Yeah. He's

1:18:34

dancing. It's like,

1:18:36

well... That's all you need, really. I can live a full life with three.

1:18:39

I can take three attacks if I... Yeah.

1:18:42

How's Liliana? Not faring much better than

1:18:44

you, to be honest. You've both been like, sort of like... Yep.

1:18:48

You're both very weak. She kind of collapses

1:18:50

against you and is kind of... Oh,

1:18:52

she's in your arms. Don't

1:18:54

make it all out of there. More of a swan to get a

1:18:57

swab in a sort of we might be dying sort of way. Her

1:19:00

breathing is ragged and she sounds absolutely

1:19:02

furious. Perfectly honest with you. And

1:19:05

with that, we're back to the top of the round.

1:19:07

Corazon. Here's Marowyn. Oh, Marowyn, sorry. So,

1:19:09

I'd like to point to underneath

1:19:11

the dragon, still hiding. And

1:19:15

beneath its feet, I would like to

1:19:17

cast Erupting Earth. Oh.

1:19:20

From underneath Dragon's Feet and

1:19:22

from a fifth level slot,

1:19:24

because why not? And

1:19:28

basically, a

1:19:30

bunch of rocks kind

1:19:33

of push up underneath and

1:19:36

exploding guano coins

1:19:38

going everywhere. It's

1:19:40

a nice way. I'm doing two things in one.

1:19:42

One, I'm attacking the dragon and two,

1:19:44

I'm bringing up some of the golf Corazon. Make

1:19:47

it a raise. Yeah. And just

1:19:49

recycling, like just sort of moving

1:19:51

around. Yeah, you've got to churn the Earth. Yeah,

1:19:53

exactly. So I'm going to make it a lot

1:19:55

more fertile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.

1:19:57

So yeah, I've got to roll. I'm

1:20:00

imagining itself and Liliana just sort of

1:20:02

getting like whirlpooled around Okay,

1:20:06

I hate it for 39 points

1:20:09

of damage halved Basically you sort

1:20:11

of snap in half Like

1:20:13

it's like a particular ridge of

1:20:15

stones go boom and just neatly kind of

1:20:17

incises it halfway through the spike And

1:20:19

it gives a weird sort of like mewling shriek like

1:20:24

I'm gonna take us out of combat initiative. It's not

1:20:27

dead And

1:20:29

I urge you to think quickly

1:20:31

because it's skeleton,

1:20:33

the breath weapon did just Recharge.

1:20:36

Dobby summoned the skeletons you raised Ethel

1:20:39

Frith's hammer and 60 skeletons Flying

1:20:42

flaming skull on the skeleton of a mule all

1:20:44

pop out of the ground and

1:20:46

not the ground well the ground They

1:20:49

they arrive Take them a

1:20:51

little longer than usual Do

1:20:53

you remember the last time you saw the skeleton? No

1:20:57

It was Halloween right was the was

1:20:59

it building a theme park haunted house. Yes

1:21:02

Yeah, yeah, I'm so nearly

1:21:04

there. You may remember that you just asked

1:21:06

them to build you a steam engine invent

1:21:08

the first steam engine In fact, yes. Yes.

1:21:11

Yes So

1:21:13

60 skeletons appear and One

1:21:16

of them goes ah boss. It's so good to

1:21:18

see you because we're still hauling this thing around

1:21:20

and not sure if It

1:21:24

explodes See

1:21:28

okay. Yep. Another three hit points

1:21:30

damage sort of situation We find out everyone's

1:21:32

gonna need to make me a deck saving

1:21:34

flow, please 13 21

1:21:37

save me dexterity 15 23

1:21:40

oh 15

1:21:43

okay, just a fell for egg, but and

1:21:45

zap watch actually Yeah,

1:21:47

if you pass you can harvest so you're only gonna

1:21:50

take oh So everyone is

1:21:52

only taking 13 points A

1:21:55

mere a mere 13 from the exploding

1:21:57

proto engine. Yes wait wait

1:22:00

Back to the drawing board. Well, the

1:22:03

good news is it's enough

1:22:06

to basically atomize the dracolich.

1:22:08

Yay! Yeah. And it just

1:22:11

kind of shatters into a bunch of bone fragments.

1:22:15

All of the skeletons have exploded. And then they kind

1:22:18

of reassemble themselves.

1:22:20

And they're like, oh, wow. Skeletons

1:22:22

not expect that to happen. Boss? Boss?

1:22:26

Hey. Oh, you're not going

1:22:28

to be so good. And that's

1:22:30

going through you guys. Because if

1:22:32

I'm remembering this correctly, you got dropped down

1:22:34

to zero hit points. But because you are

1:22:37

a half-orc, you're back on one hit point.

1:22:40

Oh, no. I, well, what was the...

1:22:42

Wait, wait. It's the explosion. You're only

1:22:44

half-damaged. Only half-damaged. So you still took...

1:22:46

Yes. Oh, right. No,

1:22:48

yes, no. Absolutely. You briefly had

1:22:51

the choice to go towards the life. Yeah. Luckily,

1:22:54

my old half-orcish, relentless endurance kicked

1:22:56

in. And I am now, I

1:22:58

guess, on one hit point. Yep.

1:23:01

Great. No

1:23:04

one accidentally trip over Dob or... Yeah.

1:23:07

No one's already like funny things. It's

1:23:11

the Egger. What? I

1:23:15

just think to walk over and lay hands on Dob. Is there

1:23:17

anything in my way that I might trip over? I

1:23:20

accidentally pushed up over. Let's see

1:23:22

if Liliana's been incapacitated first. Oh,

1:23:24

yeah. With the strength of the grave,

1:23:28

she has been reduced to zero hit points, but has

1:23:31

just passed the charisma saving throw. Instead

1:23:34

dropping to one hit point... Hey! Too

1:23:36

charming to die. So... One

1:23:38

hit point club. Yeah, I can't. I'm

1:23:42

supposed to put him in a crumpled mess and

1:23:45

feel each other like, I hate you. Sweet,

1:23:48

sweet fight, everyone. Yeah.

1:23:51

Good job. I'm gonna go lay

1:23:53

hands on... Simultaneously on

1:23:55

Dob and Liliana. I took 13 points.

1:23:57

Can I have some healing? I

1:24:00

don't need it as much as they do, and I'm going to

1:24:02

charge them both up to like... Mmm... Mmm...

1:24:05

Like a nice equal, I've got a pool of

1:24:07

40 points. I can have 20 each. Amazing. Oh,

1:24:10

that's enough for her to just start becoming

1:24:13

really mean again. Get off me, dragon

1:24:15

man. Is

1:24:18

there a visible soul escaping the drappleich?

1:24:20

Is it heading off towards the crystal? As it dies?

1:24:22

You know, don't inhale it. Which is funny. It

1:24:26

would be funny. Yeah,

1:24:29

there's a lot of what I would

1:24:31

call miasma kind of floating around in

1:24:33

here. But you do eventually

1:24:35

see like a coil of sort of purple energy

1:24:37

start to like snake its way up

1:24:40

and then it just zips

1:24:42

out of the tunnel with like

1:24:44

a very distant like roaring noise,

1:24:47

basically. Okay. I want

1:24:49

to pick up the gold that Meriwen exploded out

1:24:51

of the jar. Okay. Should we... We

1:24:53

can hand wave the next however many

1:24:55

minutes. Just collect gold collected. Pick up

1:24:57

some gold. Is the skeleton still around?

1:24:59

The skeleton, yeah. The skeleton's alright. Have

1:25:01

us. Hey. What

1:25:03

do you want from us? Um,

1:25:06

well... You need help with that

1:25:08

mate? There were a couple of things, I

1:25:10

suppose, that were on my mind. I

1:25:14

recently came quite close to death.

1:25:16

Yes. And I realised that if something

1:25:18

were to happen to me, I don't actually

1:25:20

know what happens to you. Okay.

1:25:23

Do you know what happens to me? He acts it to you if I die?

1:25:25

Yeah. What? He'll

1:25:27

stay in the hammer until someone else pick up and then they become boss.

1:25:30

Okay. Would you be comfortable with

1:25:32

a sort of bequeathing situation now if I bequeath

1:25:34

the hammer while I'm alive? Yeah.

1:25:37

Make no difference to the skeleton. Boss is boss. Who wants the

1:25:39

hammer if I die? I mean... Prudence

1:25:41

per hand up, pal. What I was going to say... When

1:25:43

you say the wrong hand... I'm not sure if

1:25:45

it's a shotgun situation, I'm just saying

1:25:48

I think the obvious choices are Prudence

1:25:50

or myself. Prudence for the whole vibe.

1:25:52

Shotgun. Myself. I

1:25:54

could really use them to crew the ship

1:25:56

is what I'm thinking. I think that is

1:25:58

a very compelling argument. But we are all

1:26:01

bound by a more ancient

1:26:03

lore that of shotgun. Yeah,

1:26:05

shotgun. Yeah,

1:26:08

the hammer goes to prudence in the events

1:26:10

of my death. Okay. The other

1:26:12

thing I was thinking was, is there anything you can

1:26:14

do with this? And I gesture to the sort of

1:26:16

ruined skeleton of the dragon. You

1:26:20

wanna take this bag with you? I don't know,

1:26:22

is that a thing? Yeah, we could take bones,

1:26:25

I guess, if boss not using them. I don't

1:26:27

think so. Okay, cool. That's

1:26:31

at the speed of light. That's so weird.

1:26:33

They got six of skeletons. There's normally a

1:26:35

terrible price to be paid for calling on

1:26:37

them. No, no, no, this time there isn't.

1:26:40

We nearly killed boss, this one free. Yeah. Cool,

1:26:43

great. They all leap back into the hammer. Okay,

1:26:46

brilliant. You

1:26:48

can borrow my skeletons. You know, really?

1:26:50

Free your shit. No, it's a shotgun. Get it

1:26:52

on weekends. I'm afraid. Unless

1:26:55

there's any other business

1:26:57

involving bequeezing things. I

1:26:59

would like to individually high-five every bat. Okay.

1:27:02

It was literally just a... It was literally just

1:27:04

a... I don't wanna hang there like... It's such an odd thing. I

1:27:06

don't know about you, though. But in that time, literally, I was gonna

1:27:08

take a long rest. Yeah,

1:27:10

I'll probably do that. Yeah, it takes

1:27:13

about eight hours, but you've finally finished

1:27:15

high-fiving every single bat

1:27:18

in the cave. Great. All right, let's head back

1:27:20

to the town and we can get our crystal. Yeah. Okay,

1:27:22

outside at the gate are two dwarves

1:27:25

who are now standing up. They go,

1:27:27

oh, that sounded intense. Did you kill

1:27:29

it? Yeah, we did. We sure did.

1:27:31

Amazing. Do you think now the curse

1:27:34

might be lifted? We think you're free.

1:27:36

Really? Try it. I don't know. Give

1:27:39

it a go. Let's find out. I cast catapult on the

1:27:41

dwarf. Use

1:27:43

catapult. Okay.

1:27:46

Yeah? This is stretching the weight

1:27:49

limit of the spell catapult. No, no,

1:27:51

if you wanna catapult the dwarf. Yeah,

1:27:53

yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, you send

1:27:55

him absolutely sailing 90 foot. The

1:27:57

one next to you is watching this. Yeah, we're free,

1:27:59

look. And the other one goes... in

1:28:02

the dirt and then the thumb goes up. Oh,

1:28:05

fantastic! I don't know what to do with myself.

1:28:08

We've been... We've been trapped in

1:28:10

that situation for a millennia. God, doors

1:28:12

only have to be 300. How

1:28:15

did you live this long? Oh. He

1:28:18

turns to dust. Oh! Oh.

1:28:22

You see the other one sit up and go, whoa! Oh!

1:28:25

And then... Oh, it wins.

1:28:28

At least he died doing what he loved. Oh, wait!

1:28:30

Is that the elves? The elves have

1:28:32

moved for a... fine. Oh. They'll be having them

1:28:34

all, like... Psh! Um,

1:28:38

I mean... What if they're houses of

1:28:40

all? Ugh! Well,

1:28:42

why don't you go see? Okay!

1:28:46

The settlement, when you arrive, is

1:28:49

still standing. And

1:28:51

all of the elves... are

1:28:53

actually gathered just outside the boundary. They're kind of

1:28:56

standing there, they're watching as the column of smoke

1:28:58

and the embers are sort of dissipating on

1:29:00

the wind behind you. Oh,

1:29:02

Samira! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1:29:05

Samira? Hello. Yes. We'll

1:29:08

be taking out Crystal now. Oh, yeah,

1:29:10

so what you couldn't see over by the

1:29:12

smoke, there was a big dragon lich

1:29:14

that was gonna... Dracolich, is what they call it. It

1:29:16

was gonna come over here and destroy the town. Oh!

1:29:18

But it was trapped in the same loop that you

1:29:20

have here in this town. So don't worry, we killed

1:29:22

the Dracolich, so it's not gonna come and destroy the

1:29:24

town. And the whole kind of

1:29:26

glitch thing, the teleporting thing, seems

1:29:28

to have stopped now, so I think you're

1:29:31

free to leave. Oh! I'm

1:29:33

so bored of living here! So

1:29:36

bored! If you want to get out quickly, we've got

1:29:38

a... Dob's got a spell... that

1:29:40

can... I think you'd really

1:29:42

appreciate. Yeah? Well,

1:29:45

let me go get the Crystal and then we'll talk. Sure,

1:29:47

sure, sure. She... Hold the Crystal first, then I'll do it.

1:29:50

Okay. She goes into the house where you

1:29:52

saw the Crystal before. It takes longer

1:29:54

than you would have thought to just pop in and grab a

1:29:56

Crystal. She walks out, she pushes the

1:29:58

doors open, and you see there is a... There was a

1:30:00

fire building behind her. She decided, you know

1:30:02

what, solve it. Burn it down. Well, we

1:30:04

lived here a thousand years. Time to let

1:30:06

it go. She walks out, she goes, one

1:30:09

crystal. Thank you. And I thought

1:30:11

you shouldn't put out the torch. You

1:30:13

must be kidding. We

1:30:16

stayed in that cave for eight hours, while

1:30:18

this one high fived a thousand facts. And

1:30:22

you think my torch would have survived that?

1:30:24

We hid in liquid poo. Sounds funny when you

1:30:26

say it. Yeah. So

1:30:30

yeah, you're all free to move on to wherever, to

1:30:32

stop doing whatever it is you do in this town.

1:30:34

I say throw open another door. There

1:30:39

is one else in robes,

1:30:41

worshipping a donkey cow. Oh, you knew

1:30:43

it. He howls and runs

1:30:45

off on all paws. Oh,

1:30:48

that's just Colin. Take

1:30:51

no note. You knew it. Let's check

1:30:53

the book. Let's check the book. Yeah, new crystal. All

1:30:56

right. So open

1:30:58

Liliana's evil home and look on the questing

1:31:01

page. This is a journal of quests.

1:31:04

See if anything is resolved. It's for the objectives of updating. Yes.

1:31:08

New map. You watch as the move

1:31:10

faster now that you're no longer caught in a

1:31:12

temporal slowing thing. They're resolved

1:31:15

quite quickly into another diagram

1:31:17

of a location. It

1:31:19

takes a while actually for it to come into full render with

1:31:23

all of the lovely cross hatching and stuff like that. To

1:31:26

be honest with you, you've all worked

1:31:28

out what it is long before it's

1:31:30

finished because the diagram shows Miss Myer.

1:31:34

Bum bum bum. So

1:31:37

it seems the party is off to

1:31:40

Miss Myer, the ancestral home of Egbert's

1:31:42

former paladin order. But when will they

1:31:44

get there? Well, next time on Extension.

1:31:47

This time? Can we do this time? Next

1:31:50

time. Let's roll right into it. I strayed

1:31:52

into Miss Myer and discovered its secret. Definitely

1:31:54

next time. The adventure is

1:31:56

killed. The final season. Let's

1:32:07

get into the horny elf discourse. Oh,

1:32:09

okay. You want to get into it. Interesting. Actually,

1:32:11

I'm not sure there is a discourse. It was basically...

1:32:14

Universal praise for that bit. Just

1:32:16

misspeaking. And is it? Universal

1:32:19

praise. Yeah, everybody loving it online. Probably their favourite part

1:32:21

of the episode, they said. Probably the best bit of

1:32:23

the season. Probably the best bit of Fox Venture ever,

1:32:25

I would say. Yeah,

1:32:29

yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I enjoyed it

1:32:31

a lot. I like how whenever

1:32:34

anyone tried to further it, you were like, please, let's not make

1:32:36

this a bit. That was good stuff. I

1:32:39

did say don't cut this, though, because I feel

1:32:41

like the viewers and listeners should share in

1:32:44

my experience. Of recording

1:32:47

of the convention. Yeah, exactly. I thought

1:32:49

it was funny. I thought it was

1:32:51

good. And those elves in

1:32:53

the end, not noticeably

1:32:55

horny. No, that's

1:32:57

true. Disappointingly. But then behind closed doors, you never

1:33:00

know. Well, that's the thing, isn't

1:33:02

it? That's the thing with these isolated communities. As

1:33:05

Corazon was saying in this

1:33:08

episode, it's like, all right, let's get it out in the

1:33:10

open now. What's the weird thing your society is based around

1:33:12

now? Are we going to get Midsommar'd here? Or what is

1:33:14

it? Is it a Midsommar? Is it a Purge? Are

1:33:16

you... Is it a Resident Evil

1:33:18

4? What's going on? You've been isolated for hundreds

1:33:20

of years. Don't tell me you haven't developed

1:33:23

some kind of... Like

1:33:25

Fallout tells us, Fallout, the

1:33:27

factual work teaches us that if you

1:33:29

isolate people for long enough,

1:33:31

they're going to be weird. Although, to be

1:33:34

fair, they were set up to fail because they're all weird social

1:33:36

experiments. They did just go weird of their own volition, did they? Yeah.

1:33:39

Well, I was like, oh, it's going to be

1:33:41

like they're worshipping the Blood Moon. They

1:33:43

have to sacrifice outsiders, something like that, you know?

1:33:45

Yeah. So I was pretty sure that's

1:33:48

all that was going on. I reckon what it is,

1:33:50

and I think we might speculate on this in

1:33:52

the episode, it's that if you're an elf, then

1:33:54

like being isolated for a few hundred years, that's

1:33:56

just like being stuck in your house for a

1:33:58

few days. that long,

1:34:00

if you're functionally immortal and un-aging,

1:34:04

then being like, sequestered to

1:34:06

a particular village for a few hundred years

1:34:08

is like, it's like dog years isn't

1:34:10

it? But the reverse of that. It's probably only, I

1:34:13

don't know, I guess it's like a lot,

1:34:15

it's probably like a lockdown, you know like a sort of six

1:34:17

week lockdown for them or something. Well I

1:34:19

mean they still experience linear time in the

1:34:21

same way, right? I guess. It's just, you

1:34:24

know, it's not like your life isn't so

1:34:26

finite, but it's like, still,

1:34:28

time is still the same amount of

1:34:30

time. Is it though? Hummingbird

1:34:32

still experiences linear time, but

1:34:35

you ask Hummingbird to stay put for 300

1:34:37

years and they'll probably be dead.

1:34:40

Yeah, I suppose. No,

1:34:42

I tell you a point, it's not like they're

1:34:44

living at a different speed and speaking extremely slowly,

1:34:46

they're sort of ostensibly living

1:34:49

at the same speed as us mere mortals. Yeah.

1:34:52

Yeah. This kind of reminded me

1:34:54

of Brigadoon, you know Brigadoon?

1:34:57

I don't know what that is. Okay,

1:34:59

it's a musical. Oh

1:35:03

I do know what Brigadoon is, okay, all right.

1:35:05

You know what Brigadoon is because of Shmigadoon? I

1:35:09

thought you were talking about Shmigadoon. No, I'm

1:35:11

talking about Brigadoon, which is the original thing

1:35:13

that Brigadoon is raised on. My

1:35:16

moment of revelation there was thinking that Andy was talking

1:35:18

about the humorous parody version

1:35:20

of the thing he's talking about. Andy, why

1:35:22

don't you tell me and everyone at

1:35:24

home what Brigadoon actually is? Okay,

1:35:26

well it's about a mysterious Scottish

1:35:29

village that appears for one day

1:35:31

every 100 years and then

1:35:33

disappears again for another 100 years. Okay.

1:35:36

Everyone in the village is sort of trapped

1:35:39

in this situation and it's about a

1:35:41

couple of American tourists who've kind

1:35:43

of stumbled across it during the one day in

1:35:45

the 100 years that it's around

1:35:47

invisible. Is that

1:35:49

recent? Is it an old timey movie? Is it an

1:35:52

old timey musical? What are we

1:35:54

talking about here? Yeah, it's an old, it's like an

1:35:56

old 14s musical I think. Oh boy,

1:35:58

okay. Yeah. But yeah,

1:36:00

it's the idea of like a village only

1:36:03

appearing for one day It does have that

1:36:05

vibe. Yeah, very much very much so okay

1:36:07

a very cool idea Yeah,

1:36:10

yeah, and you know shmigadoon.

1:36:13

Yeah, that's that's made me see shmigadoon Shmigadoon

1:36:16

in different light now now that now

1:36:19

that I get the reference. Yeah I

1:36:21

mean that's how many people

1:36:23

know about Brigadoon is that is

1:36:25

it just a blind spot in my kind of cultural

1:36:27

awareness? I don't know. I thought it was fairly well

1:36:30

known but apparently But parry

1:36:32

not hang on Brigadoon Okay,

1:36:35

does it have any like real like show tune bangers that

1:36:37

I'll be like oh, yeah, I know that song I know

1:36:40

what that's from Probably

1:36:42

not right probably no. Okay, Gene Kelly's

1:36:44

in it. Great Okay

1:36:48

That's cool Yeah,

1:36:50

that looks like a musical. All right. All right.

1:36:52

Well, I mean you don't need to know about the

1:36:54

musical I was just I was just saying that it

1:36:56

reminds me of Brigadoon. Okay fine fine fine fine fine

1:36:59

It was just a simple reference that drutted

1:37:01

off the tongue. I'm sorry. I'm so cultured

1:37:03

as well You're so cultural Andy, you

1:37:05

know all these 1940s musicals That

1:37:11

I don't All right. Yeah, I thought

1:37:13

it was a fun episode and also I think people seem

1:37:15

to enjoy it Have you got some comments from I do

1:37:18

have some comments. These you can leave

1:37:20

us comment in so many places There's

1:37:23

Spotify, you know, we're on not we're

1:37:25

on ox venture on on Instagram on

1:37:27

Twitter but also on the

1:37:30

YouTube channel youtube.com/of adventure which if

1:37:32

we if We might ask you

1:37:34

to subscribe to that, but we do not

1:37:37

use favor But the comments here include the

1:37:39

great goddess Freya says I knew Liliana ease

1:37:41

dropped on the wedding The only reason she'd

1:37:43

be behaving this weird around job is because

1:37:45

she heard that bloody song. Oh That

1:37:49

one you may embarrassing. Yeah, the

1:37:51

song you may remember from from Dobbs

1:37:54

wedding, which was an ode to Liliana

1:37:56

and Awkward

1:37:58

really embarrassing for Dobbs embarrassing

1:38:00

to Dobb yeah yeah

1:38:03

yeah so Liliana continues to be

1:38:06

a presence mm-hmm and

1:38:09

now I sure now yeah yeah

1:38:11

the friendly or not actively killing

1:38:13

us yeah no

1:38:15

actively killing us any currently

1:38:17

stabbing us to death a new look for

1:38:20

her love that for her

1:38:22

oh yeah she's on in fact I'm

1:38:25

not wearing it right now but it is

1:38:27

behind me here the final season like centuries

1:38:29

good fight final season shirt

1:38:31

available at store outside Xbox

1:38:33

calm is a lovely portrait

1:38:35

of Liliana and and the rest of

1:38:37

us but it's got a very big Liliana face

1:38:40

on it dominated by a Liliana for sure extremely

1:38:42

badass so yeah go check out the store for

1:38:44

help for help I just after we've also got

1:38:46

a big mug hang on I've got it to

1:38:48

hand here Andy you can you can describe this

1:38:51

one look this oh that's huge

1:38:53

yeah yeah it's got a very

1:38:55

cool stylized cartoon

1:38:57

pictures of the guild wrapping around

1:38:59

the mug yeah by excellent

1:39:02

Isis Gia law oh even seal game and

1:39:04

is included that's even see there's an even

1:39:06

a seal game and on there it's um I

1:39:08

especially requested a mega

1:39:11

mug like a really a really chunky mug

1:39:13

I think in fact I think we may

1:39:15

have already talked about it if so I

1:39:17

apologize but do check out store.outsidexbox.com I'm

1:39:19

getting the poster version of that for my office wall

1:39:21

because it looks really cool oh yeah both of you

1:39:23

this final season one as well they're

1:39:26

like opposite vibes because

1:39:28

the art by Gia law is extremely

1:39:30

like poppy and brightly colored and fun

1:39:33

and cartoony and doodled and then there's

1:39:35

the Colin Craker final season art which

1:39:37

is just extremely metal and

1:39:39

badass yeah in that way yep Joel

1:39:42

Nicholson in the YouTube comment says turns

1:39:44

out I misread that email and it

1:39:46

is in fact Horthy Elves who are

1:39:48

in my area I'm

1:39:52

sorry for the horny elf stuff that's

1:39:54

very very specific if you're getting

1:39:56

emails about not not singles not

1:39:58

hot singles but Specifically elves in

1:40:00

your area. This is really haughty elves. Yeah.

1:40:02

Yeah, right Like where do you live that

1:40:04

there is more than one more than a

1:40:07

single elf who is haughty in your

1:40:09

area? Living in Rivendell here Right.

1:40:11

That was what I was trying to think of Rivendell When

1:40:14

were you trying to think of Rivendell? Well, I was just

1:40:16

like where do elves live? Elphton

1:40:18

and then it was just like well,

1:40:21

I mean no no Talking

1:40:23

about obviously the Grey Havens, which

1:40:26

is where the elves live there. They're

1:40:28

dead in there No, they go

1:40:31

on to live the rest of their like

1:40:33

unaging lives in their sort of elf heaven,

1:40:35

which is the Grey Havens But

1:40:37

isn't else isn't elf heaven

1:40:40

Like Middle Earth so they can look down on all the

1:40:42

other races if they go. Yeah, if they get the grey

1:40:44

haven Yeah,

1:40:47

yeah, they can't be all superior to everyone

1:40:49

that sounds like hell for a elf

1:40:52

hell. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe

1:40:54

So Mike

1:40:57

finally having Eggbert use any paladin skills

1:40:59

spells or abilities says commenter K collier

1:41:01

2 1 9 2 They're

1:41:04

going to say at this late hour is the most

1:41:06

Mike slash Eggbert thing ever It's almost like Eggbert realizes

1:41:08

he'll never have a chance to show us what he

1:41:10

could do. Oh I

1:41:14

think it's Eggbert finishing strong You know

1:41:16

but saying I could have done this

1:41:18

all along I chose not to just so you

1:41:20

know I did I did know

1:41:22

about this on purpose. I'll do this on purpose

1:41:25

Yeah, it's like dog is gonna use all his spells at

1:41:27

the same time Yeah, yeah

1:41:29

like like dropping a match in a fireworks

1:41:34

Yeah Mini master in

1:41:36

the comment says knowing this is the final season

1:41:38

kind of made the 60 skeletons

1:41:40

appearance really emotional for me It

1:41:43

was potentially the last time we're ever

1:41:46

gonna see those rascals all those

1:41:48

rogues rascals and You

1:41:52

can't I mean they'll continue

1:41:54

on I mean yeah skeletons

1:41:56

can't die skeletons can't die Yeah

1:42:00

The skeletons isn't a staple.

1:42:02

Skeletons are a six regardless.

1:42:05

Maybe. If any of us die, we can join the

1:42:07

skeletons in ama. Sixty. One skeletons

1:42:09

Of Size skeletons. Depending on

1:42:11

how are you taking this.

1:42:13

Ah yes, maybe we'll. See,

1:42:15

stick around for the rest of

1:42:18

your senses. Go final season and

1:42:20

we will definitely see. Yeah,

1:42:22

maybe my heart if if any season will

1:42:24

be sixty five Skeletons in a hammer? Or

1:42:27

you have to come up with an

1:42:29

individual personality. Seats got a distinctive voice.

1:42:31

Ill be a great Israel playing challenge

1:42:33

to dates. Are some freaky. Or

1:42:37

Isis. Skeletons.

1:42:40

Off on those. Skills

1:42:43

Oh in that can we bring

1:42:45

a background the dregs of a

1:42:47

T, the video game which I

1:42:49

am currently in as to playing

1:42:51

and as well as goblins and

1:42:54

subservience. I did encounter some skeletons

1:42:56

and I lost my ass off

1:42:58

because I without at night which

1:43:00

is more dangerous in a moment's

1:43:02

these allen about and out of

1:43:04

the darkness sprinted at me a

1:43:07

bad have like five skeletons and

1:43:09

there's something about sprinting skeleton this

1:43:11

just very funny to. Us every

1:43:13

oh how Harryhausen skeleton. Not not

1:43:15

not wearing armor, not wearing. you

1:43:17

know, like anything fancy, just like

1:43:20

up at a Bare Bones Literally.

1:43:22

Dallas and and I don't know.

1:43:24

Something struck me as especially humorous

1:43:26

about. Them because when you have our

1:43:29

galaxy like the bone, like the buried

1:43:31

indeed. Yes, but some. Spotify

1:43:33

had interrogator is because like. Them

1:43:36

got muscles django ice yeah but that the

1:43:38

see may the running at me and that

1:43:40

just just a little skeleton. Guys are so

1:43:43

bony guy I'm trying and yeah I think

1:43:45

what's your end goal? Skeletons what he wants.

1:43:47

You to with me on generally. That.

1:43:50

Scary. I don't think I like to be

1:43:52

as often. Yeah, you're right. the bit

1:43:54

of them the big battle of the end

1:43:57

of Army of Darkness were discovered. This guy

1:43:59

with no. It's very slapstick.

1:44:02

Yeah. They're inherently slapstick,

1:44:04

I think, skeletons. I don't know why. That's

1:44:09

an interesting question to dig into. Why is that?

1:44:13

Is it some odd

1:44:16