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0:00
Page 94, The Private Eye podcast.
0:03
Hello and welcome to another episode of Page 94. My
0:05
name is Andrew Hunter-Murray and I'm joined by
0:08
Ian Hislop, Richard Brooks and Helen Lewis.
0:10
We're in the Eye's office and we're
0:12
here to discuss the news developments
0:15
that have occurred since the magazine last went to print and
0:17
everything that might happen before it next
0:19
goes to print. So as we're in
0:21
the middle of conference season, it's worth covering
0:23
the Conservative Party conference which did make it into
0:26
the last issue and which I
0:28
think there hadn't been the final confirmation
0:30
when we went to press that HS2 was being scrapped
0:33
because that was saved for the big
0:35
speech, you know, the great announcement of what
0:38
we're not doing. Rishi Sinha could film his video
0:40
saying that they were going to scrap it but hadn't yet seen fit to
0:42
share that with the rest of the class.
0:44
You're absolutely right. And had he been Boris he would
0:46
have filmed two videos for
0:49
either result but he didn't. I just
0:51
felt, you know, thanks to Richard Brooks who is
0:53
here, I'm in a position where I
0:55
have to say, well, you know, Rishi, scrapping
0:58
it, you know, quite a good idea because Richard said
1:00
for a long time we should
1:02
probably scrap nearly all of it due
1:05
to the fantastic overrun. So I blame
1:07
you. That's very kind of him. Actually,
1:11
I think he was waiting to see what we
1:13
had to say before deciding
1:14
what was going to be in the
1:16
speech because we came out,
1:18
I think, the day or the day
1:20
before the speech where he announced
1:22
pretty much what was written in the eye, which
1:25
was cancel what's left of HS2 or,
1:28
you know, what you haven't already committed
1:30
too much to and do the Euston
1:33
bit. He sort of
1:35
said he was doing both of those, although he subsequently
1:37
said on the Euston bit someone else is going to have to
1:39
do it. And they're going
1:41
to do it a bit like Canary Wharf,
1:44
which I think only went bust twice.
1:47
Oh, right. So that's impressive. It's a
1:49
plan. It's a plan. So
1:52
do you think it will actually happen now? The
1:55
Euston bit? Yes. Or
1:57
even the Birmingham bit? Any of it? We don't
1:59
know.
1:59
anything will happen. Obviously
2:02
the Birmingham to Manchester bit's gone. The question,
2:05
the big question is whether the other promised bits
2:07
will happen. It's the network
2:09
north. Yeah the network north which
2:12
is a bit like the northern rail
2:14
power, northern powerhouse rail,
2:16
that's it. Itself
2:19
was already been cut in half back
2:22
in 2021 so some of that's been reinstated.
2:26
There are all kinds of promises, some of
2:28
which I think have already been rode
2:30
back on once, reintroduced once, rode
2:32
back on again. It's sort
2:35
of shunting around a bit this rail
2:37
plan. But some bits already finished
2:40
of what was announced, some bits were opened several years
2:42
ago. The Manchester Metro link I think
2:44
is done. So it's not put it in the
2:46
plan. Yeah I was wondering
2:49
if he was going to announce that the channel tunnel was going
2:51
to be done because at least that's finished.
2:53
But okay so pessimism there from Richard
2:56
but not a bad decision
2:58
then. No overall I think the key
3:00
point was that just
3:03
because you've got spades in the ground you don't have
3:05
to keep digging. The 40 billion
3:07
quid or so that's gone into phase one while that's
3:09
gone, that you know will provide this
3:11
shuttle service. But it didn't mean
3:14
that you then had to do the next bit. The
3:16
reality is that the funds
3:18
will be constrained. What I liked about your take
3:20
Richard was
3:21
the fact that everyone else it seemed in the entirety of the
3:23
media was kind of rending their garments about this. And
3:25
mostly it seemed formatory leaders who'd stayed a lot
3:27
of political credibility on it existing coming out
3:29
to go I really think it's a very good idea you know.
3:31
It was my good idea in some way. So
3:34
I don't think I felt like I'd really heard much
3:36
of the counterpoint. And the bit that kind of got me
3:38
was the fact that the bit through the Oxfordshire countryside
3:40
was
3:40
going to be so expensive because it all had to be tunnels
3:42
because it didn't get anyone's view basically.
3:44
It's a kind of great nimby pageant.
3:46
What an a nodding. I know so not only
3:49
is that part of the reason why it's so expensive
3:51
there also won't be nice views on
3:53
the short bit that is going to be. Just the whole
3:55
thing. I have to say I was surprised
3:58
when I read Richard's piece partly because
3:59
I like kinds and you know anything
4:03
that has to the number of trains in the country I think is basically
4:05
a good thing and then I thought I'd look at the
4:07
cost overrun of HS1 so down
4:09
to Kent Channel Tunnel and
4:12
that was 6.2 billion pounds so
4:15
and it was a bit over budget it was 18% over.
4:19
That's not over budget. Of
4:22
course well yeah
4:24
I mean that's and what HS2
4:26
is now coming in at least double
4:29
already. I think it started
4:31
off at 35, 37 something like that and
4:33
it's now well
4:36
over 80. Yeah and so it's
4:38
not even it's infinity now isn't it? Oh yeah
4:40
yeah. Undeliverable and
4:43
my maths is that at no
4:45
possible amount of money can it even be done.
4:47
I mean that was the report wasn't it? Yeah
4:50
yeah it just would keep going up.
4:52
And the time for some people whose farm
4:55
had been purchased through a compulsory purchase order and
4:57
then actually gone through after Rishi said I
4:59
could film the video but not before he denounced it so
5:01
he kept spunking money
5:02
on it right up until the moment that
5:04
he stood up. Backing please. Sorry. Right up until the
5:06
moment he
5:08
stood up on the
5:09
podium. I think that's the other thing is and
5:11
I'm not going back to the jeweling of the A1 north
5:13
of Morpus which as you know I'm obsessed with but there
5:15
are similar situations where people know that their land
5:18
could be taken in a compulsory purchase order but
5:20
you don't get to find out when it is. Like so some of these
5:22
people have been living on this knife edge now on FHST
5:25
for years and that's what these projects mean
5:27
actually on the ground.
5:27
And some of them have sold massive
5:30
discounts to what they're worth because
5:32
they don't want to wait around. Yeah. And
5:34
now they're finding out they don't have to. I could still have had that else.
5:39
I mean some of the numbers are so big they're quite hard to get a handle
5:41
on. But so nice little instructive
5:43
difference here. Again HS1
5:46
cost per mile 51 million
5:48
quid per mile of that complete railway.
5:51
Which feels like a lot. And Helen you're looking. Well they're making
5:53
the rails out of gold. It's just
5:56
really expensive stuff. And not the fair is
5:58
it? Well. guarantee
6:00
Helen will seem like an absolute bargain whether you would anyone
6:02
like to guess the approximate cost of HS2
6:04
per mile?
6:07
Oh, three or four hundred. Yeah, 300
6:09
million pounds per
6:11
mile. That's the that's the kicker.
6:13
It is quite hilly up north isn't it?
6:15
Yeah.
6:16
Fades made of gold, diggers made of
6:18
gold, everything involved in this project must be made of gold.
6:20
It's impressive, yeah. No, I just
6:22
kept reading the reports thinking it
6:24
said spads on the graph. Yes,
6:27
I'm sure a lot of them have wasted a huge amount of
6:29
time. There's a lot of use. Yeah, I'm
6:31
in the kite. But this is
6:34
presumably Richard's pessimism extends
6:36
into another massive infrastructure
6:39
project which he's going to tell us is a waste of time.
6:44
Which one do you want? Richard made
6:46
a face that was like narrow it down. We're
6:49
heading northeast aren't we? We're heading a bit where
6:51
the HS2 wasn't going to go anyway. Well
6:54
this is a project that the Teesside
6:56
regeneration project at the center
6:59
of the flagship Freeport which
7:02
Rishi Sunak presents as the great future
7:04
for Britain outside Brexit. This
7:07
should go ahead just not the way
7:09
it is. Ah, right, okay. This
7:12
area really is ripe for regeneration. It's
7:15
got a long, at some stages, glorious
7:17
industrial history. It's got a steel industry,
7:20
chemical industry. It's in a great location.
7:22
It's got the Teess bit
7:50
takes the money out. You know they
7:53
often like to sort of present it as being
7:55
a bit like the PFI was the private
7:57
financial initiative that New Labor loved
7:59
so much. Why would you want the contract? Well,
8:01
compared to this, the PFI
8:04
is a sort of model of fiscal rectitude. Because
8:07
that at least involved the private sector
8:09
putting money in before it took money out.
8:12
I mean, it took too much out. And that was the scandal
8:15
there. But here, the private
8:17
operators aren't putting anything in. They're
8:19
just taking out. They have a lot
8:22
of contracts for things
8:24
like collecting scrap from the site,
8:26
scrapping a bit of a misnomer. It's very
8:29
valuable metal left over from the
8:31
steel industry that closed in 2015. They've
8:35
pocketed about 50 million quid from that
8:37
already. They have other
8:39
sort of commission agreements that we didn't
8:41
know about until
8:43
I went and looked at the books and asked some questions,
8:45
but which they won't explain, and
8:47
for which they don't seem to be doing anything at all. But
8:51
the main way they make their money is through
8:54
options to buy the land. There's
8:56
a sort of couple of thousand acres
8:58
worth of land there that needs
9:01
regenerating, which the
9:04
public sector, through the development corporation,
9:06
pays to regenerate, and
9:09
then allows the private
9:12
businessmen through a company
9:14
that they 90% own, called
9:17
Teesworx Limited, to buy the land
9:19
at one pound per acre. Plus
9:21
inflation from when they agreed that. Does
9:24
that seem very cheap to you? I'm just
9:26
guessing. I was just trying to look at how much of HFT you
9:28
could get for one pound. Well,
9:31
they also have to pay the costs of
9:34
remediating that bit of land to that point,
9:37
which work out that something like a typical 100
9:39
acre site
9:41
might have cost about 20 million
9:44
quid to get to the point where a business
9:46
can come in on it. But when it does
9:48
and
9:49
it has planning permission, it's
9:51
worth a lot more than that. Yeah. So
9:54
it's probably worth 100 million. But they
9:56
just have to pay the 20 million. Richard, you've been on
9:58
this show because of the terrier unbend.
9:59
Hooch and Stravaleg for this whole year. And
10:02
I have to ask you, what is it about it that sort of fascinates
10:04
you so much? On the surface
10:07
it's a story about kind of low-level
10:09
skull duggery, but there's
10:11
something about it obviously
10:12
that really has gripped hold of you.
10:15
Incidentally, Ben Houchin has got his own terrier
10:17
that he bought a few months ago,
10:20
a puppy and called it Boris. That's
10:22
weird. That's weird. Okay,
10:24
how on? That
10:27
is a big part of the story obviously.
10:29
And Boris then made him Lord Houchin. Not
10:32
the dog. I
10:35
think the dog just got a knighthood or something. Right,
10:38
it's on his leg. But
10:40
why I think it's important is
10:43
that almost all parts of the political
10:45
spectrum favour
10:48
regional devolution, devolution of economic
10:50
power, regeneration and
10:52
so on. And in principle that is a very
10:54
good thing. But this
10:57
illustrates a number of
10:59
problems, particularly in terms of accountability.
11:02
Because if you're going to hand that much
11:04
money over, and it's several hundreds of millions
11:07
of pounds now, over to a regional
11:09
authority which is
11:12
created with fewer checks
11:14
and balances than local
11:16
government traditionally has, then
11:19
there are real risks. No one's really
11:22
examining this in the way that other
11:25
centrally funded projects might be. For
11:28
example, the National Order Office doesn't have a remit
11:30
covering this. Nobody really does.
11:34
We're the only ones really. Right,
11:35
and the local press has been hollowed out as
11:37
well. Yeah. Local papers don't have the resources
11:40
to put into covering these stories. That's a massive
11:42
part of it. government
11:45
loves outsourcing, which is that when it goes horribly wrong,
11:48
it's someone else and you can go, oh, Capita,
11:50
I've done very bad job here. I of
11:52
course had nothing to do with this. And I suppose the same
11:54
thing is true. It's pronounced Crapita. Hello. Sorry.
11:58
I don't know how, you're fairly new to me.
12:01
But I guess the same thing is that, oh, if, you know,
12:03
if actually the worst comes to the worst and the
12:05
drum beat against Ben Howtian
12:07
becomes so terrible, then oh, dear,
12:09
he has to step down. But everybody in Whitehall gets to
12:11
say how terrible we could never have known. But
12:14
they really ought to have known if they've read every issue of Private
12:16
Eye for about a year, during which,
12:18
of course, they've continued
12:21
to boost him at
12:23
the Tory conference. Again, he got the name
12:25
check in the Sunak speech. In the Sunak speech,
12:27
yeah. This is the future. Ben
12:30
Howtian is the future. Is that
12:32
because it's a free port and Sunak is hell
12:34
bent on free ports becoming a thing? Because
12:37
it's a free port, because it's red wall, because
12:39
they're very short of other ideas. And
12:42
because on other stuff, people can point
12:44
at it and go, ha ha, it's not as good as you say it
12:47
is. Whereas here, nobody can quite understand
12:49
it as hard as we try to explain it. No
12:52
one's really sort of grit
12:55
the fact that the team helps. Yeah,
12:59
complexity is part of it. I mean, all
13:01
financial scams work on complexity.
13:04
So you have to keep pointing out
13:06
what the how they work in principle. And
13:09
in this case, it is that
13:12
these businessmen are getting rights to acquire
13:14
stuff for nothing while
13:16
putting nothing in. And more
13:18
importantly, the the Development Corporation,
13:21
Ben Howtian, are really misrepresenting
13:24
the picture seriously misrepresented. Well, they I mean,
13:26
how it's been interviewed lots, hasn't he? Yeah, sworn
13:29
blind that that these businessmen
13:31
are putting lots of money into the project that that
13:33
it's that it's a loan that you know, that yeah,
13:36
on that they'll pay back. Yeah, exactly.
13:38
The biggest part of the project
13:41
is a new key being built on
13:43
the South Bank of the River Tees
13:46
for about 113 million pounds, which
13:48
has been paid for by the Development
13:50
Corporation using money borrowed from
13:52
the
13:53
UK Infrastructure Bank. So the taxpayers paid
13:55
for it. Ben Howtian said repeatedly,
13:58
notably in a big news night in
13:59
if you did that, the businessman
14:02
he brought in had to repay that loan.
14:04
I went up to
14:06
the east side two or three weeks ago and
14:09
asked for the, under legislation
14:11
that allows journalists to inspect accounts, when
14:14
the Cameron government scrapped the local audit
14:17
commission, that you brought in some rules as
14:19
a bit of a sop saying that for a limited period,
14:21
journalists and local electors can look at the
14:23
books. So I went up there to look at the books, asked
14:25
them, well, can I see the details
14:27
behind, the documents behind what
14:30
you say is this agreement for the businessman
14:32
to repay the loan, there's nothing. They're
14:34
also given a concession to operate the key
14:37
when it's built. The documents show that they
14:39
have to pay a fee for operating it, but
14:41
that fees related to how much business there is,
14:44
and they'll get income from that business. So it's
14:46
only when there's good profit that they pay anything.
14:50
And if that doesn't equal what
14:52
the
14:53
public authority needs to repay the loan,
14:55
well,
14:56
the public authority's stuck with the cost.
14:58
So there's literally no risk for the businessman
15:01
at all. That's correct, yeah. And
15:03
it gets serious because they account
15:05
for this. It gets serious. Yeah,
15:09
that's a really fluffy bit.
15:12
The accounts misrepresent
15:15
this. In the accounts, they say the businessmen
15:17
have a contractual obligation
15:19
to repay the loan. And
15:22
they
15:23
don't.
15:24
They say they got independent accountancy
15:26
advice, which should be disclosed under
15:29
this local audit legislation,
15:31
and they promised it to me and then
15:34
refused to supply it. Well, it
15:36
does not look good. One of the founding
15:39
principles of Freeport is you are free
15:41
from journalists. Yeah, I
15:43
think it's important for you to remember that.
15:47
There's a serious point there. You
15:49
know, they are, the history of them. It's
15:51
free from regulation. It's free from
15:55
prying eyes, yeah. So this
15:57
is where this is a key point that needs, you
15:59
know. something should be done but
16:02
you know that's my somebody should be picking
16:04
up on that you can't just file
16:06
false accounts yeah I put it to
16:08
you that you can yeah but
16:10
my question
16:10
is could this happen somewhere else is it
16:12
happening other places or is there something unique about tea
16:15
side and the coalition of things that happened
16:17
that meant it's happened there
16:19
it's happening there because so much money has gone
16:21
in the same public money hasn't
16:23
gone in to the other three
16:26
port areas you know the more you
16:28
look into to this area and
16:30
the history of it it's quite a small
16:34
business world in which everybody knows everybody
16:36
that some of the cronyism
16:39
the nepotism is
16:41
extreme I mean how should you these businessmen
16:44
before all this this wasn't they
16:46
didn't approach him with the idea that's all a bit
16:48
shrouded in mystery whether he personally knew
16:50
them but they were very influential figures
16:53
there okay and at the same time as they
16:55
stepped in to this project
16:58
they also got a very
17:00
similar deal on a new business
17:02
park at the airport which could be worth just as
17:04
much money to them so the whole everything
17:07
about redevelopment on tea side was
17:10
handed over to these people who are
17:13
extremely well connected and often
17:16
not with the you know the most savory
17:18
characters one of the two main partners
17:20
there chap called Chris Musgrave has
17:23
worked a lot with chap
17:25
who's familiar to the I Ray Mallon Robo
17:28
cop up in Middlesbrough who's a bit of a
17:30
local fixer so this is sort of network
17:33
that holds sway exactly the sort of
17:35
place where you really need scrutiny it goes back to
17:37
what you're saying Helen you know people
17:39
aren't looking at it local media aren't looking at it in
17:42
the detail there are a few exceptions aren't there I mean hasn't
17:45
the Yorkshire Post done a job the Yorkshire
17:47
Post has picked up on it and is
17:50
asking some tough questions yeah but
17:52
the the two the local Gazette
17:54
and the Northern Echo are just mouthpieces
17:57
yeah I mean it's not the Northern Echo it's a houching
18:00
whatever he says, front page.
18:03
But there is work happening there at
18:05
the moment. I mean, they are doing this scrapping and remediating
18:07
right now. The key is under construction, right? Yep,
18:10
and it's nearly finished. Well, has
18:12
anyone proposed handing HS2 over to these guys?
18:14
They're making things happen. They're
18:18
actually very cheap. They can handle large sums
18:20
of money, public money. And
18:23
you're talking hundreds of millions. We're not interested.
18:25
We're on billions now. The story's
18:27
over, Richard. Could you do that? Yeah, make a houch
18:29
and transport secretary. Yeah, could
18:31
be done. We've been in lots now. They
18:33
literally get to know his empowerment. You certainly
18:36
heard it here first. Just quickly,
18:38
while we're on large projects that
18:40
soak up a great deal of money and don't
18:43
benefit normal people, Richard, you wrote
18:45
something for the latest issue about the post
18:47
office. Yeah,
18:50
things don't get much larger or more corrupt
18:53
than this, really, in the way that the post
18:55
office has dealt with this scandal
18:58
over more than 20 years
19:00
now. And for any listeners who didn't
19:02
hear, you and Nick Wallace, wasn't
19:04
it, on the last special episode
19:06
we did? This is past masters having their lives ruined
19:08
due to faulty IT. Yeah, yeah. And
19:11
some of them going to prison, some of them taking their own lives,
19:13
all due to dodgy IT, which accused
19:16
them of theft, basically, from the build of the
19:18
public. Yeah, several thousands and hundreds with
19:21
convictions on faulty evidence
19:24
on the basis that the computer system was flawless
19:27
when it wasn't. That's at the heart
19:29
of it, but there's any
19:29
number of scandals
19:32
coming off it as well. And the latest
19:34
really emerging is how the post
19:37
office approached this issue
19:39
internally, going back 20 years,
19:42
when they were made aware that
19:45
this computer system wasn't actually
19:47
perfect. There was an audit report
19:49
that said that we can
19:51
see examples of one
19:54
out not being matched by a corresponding in, that
19:56
kind of thing. So there were clearly bugs in
19:58
it. But. senior
20:01
post office lawyers who were prosecuting
20:04
individuals or involved
20:06
in civil action against them said look let's
20:09
keep that quiet because it threatens
20:11
our whole approach and it you know we've
20:13
got to pretend that this horizon system
20:16
this horizon IT system is
20:18
flawless when it absolutely
20:20
wasn't genuinely shocking even
20:23
now we've got an inquiry and
20:25
usually you know we have inquiries into
20:27
things when the heat's gone out of it no one cares
20:29
anymore this inquiry is still
20:31
going on it still turns up
20:33
stuff that makes you gasp yes
20:36
it does in the last couple
20:38
of weeks after the summer break the the
20:41
inquiry started hearing from people
20:43
within the post office senior lawyers and
20:45
both internal and and their external
20:48
lawyers and they were saying things
20:50
like you know when confronted with evidence
20:53
that the computer system didn't really work one of the
20:55
senior post office lawyers says there's a bigger picture
20:57
you know this is bigger than nailing someone
21:00
falsely there is a bigger picture either
21:02
the post office wishes to be seen to be taking
21:05
this claim very seriously to defend
21:07
the horizon system and to discourage
21:09
other sub postmasters from
21:11
pursuing similar claims this is when
21:14
someone had said well it's not me it's the computer
21:16
system yeah the bigger the
21:18
law is to defend the lie yeah
21:22
and the same lawyer said the safest way to manage
21:24
this which is was a similar case from someone
21:26
else it's to throw money at it and get
21:28
a confidentiality agreement signed
21:30
let's throw public money at it and
21:33
cover it up that was the approach what's
21:36
the story that they told themselves because this is I'm always
21:38
interested in when you look at people who are
21:40
villains in a story right most people have a cycle
21:42
they don't think ha ha ha ha look out I'm gonna
21:45
ruin the lives of some sub postmasters and mistresses
21:47
yeah they have a story that they're telling themselves
21:50
it's usually flattering to themselves what
21:52
do you think they they thought they were doing they
21:55
thought that these people were really and I think
21:57
I really wonder whether some of them still do I
22:00
think that these people, yeah, the computer system
22:02
might not have worked, but they were still guilty. They
22:04
were still at it. There
22:06
was a really vindictive culture
22:09
in the post office. It almost
22:11
goes back centuries. You know,
22:13
this was a very powerful institution.
22:16
When you go back to the, you know, the king's mail
22:19
being transported across the country, they had incredible
22:21
powers. You could execute
22:23
people for stealing a letter or something. Well,
22:25
so they got their own prosecutions, don't they? And
22:27
they conduct their own prosecutions. That was it. It became
22:30
even when most of the
22:32
rest of the government
22:35
or public bodies had to
22:37
have their prosecutions conducted by the Crown
22:39
Prosecution Service to give a bit of independence.
22:42
The post office retained the ability to prosecute.
22:45
And that's starting to come out that
22:48
there simply weren't the checks and balances. There
22:50
are lots of these cases when we looked at them some
22:53
time ago. It was clear that had an independent
22:55
prosecutor looked at it. They'd have said,
22:58
no, that evidence doesn't really stack up. So
23:01
it was an arrogance in the institution. Yeah,
23:03
an arrogance. And the way they treated
23:05
people during investigations was
23:09
quite abusive, really. They
23:11
would occasionally interview
23:13
them without representation, coerce
23:16
them into confessing certain
23:18
crimes in return for not pursuing more
23:21
serious ones, you know, getting
23:23
people to plead guilty in court so they would avoid
23:25
a present sentence. In one case, I think we reported,
23:28
I remember, they told
23:30
someone, well, plead guilty to this lesser
23:33
offense and you won't go to prison. The person did go to
23:35
prison. Yeah. And
23:38
I believe in the infallibility of the computer system,
23:40
right? In the same way that, you know, I think
23:43
there's
23:43
a real problem in court cases with forensic evidence,
23:45
which is often somewhat interpretable
23:47
and has problems with it. But it is seen as
23:49
a kind of deus machina, like it's spoken. The
23:51
computer system, well, that couldn't be wrong. Because
23:54
computer systems are never wrong, unlike people
23:57
who are wrong. Yeah, I mean, they
23:59
knew it was wrong.
23:59
as we're now starting to discover. Yeah,
24:02
they knew it was wrong. But you're right, and there
24:04
was this legal doctrine that
24:07
what a computer says is correct. It
24:09
was backed up by experts from
24:12
Fujitsu, the IT company that ran
24:14
this system, going into court and
24:17
saying, there's nothing wrong with it, even when they knew full
24:19
well that there was something wrong
24:21
there. The Met Police have
24:23
been
24:24
investigating people for perjury
24:27
now for two or three years, but nothing's
24:30
come of it yet.
24:31
Oh, right. And I guess also the idea
24:33
that if you... It's such a huge thing psychologically
24:36
to take on, isn't it? That these aren't ISAID examples
24:38
of something fundamentally rotten about the computer
24:40
system. I suppose that also, presumably, psychologically
24:43
people try to say, OK, in one or two
24:45
cases it might have been wrong, we don't need to look at the whole
24:48
thing. Because
24:48
once you've accepted that, it's kind of like staring
24:50
into a huge yawning chasm, isn't
24:52
it? Yeah, yeah. Nothing is certain anymore.
24:55
No, and finding that
24:57
out, admitting it would come with huge
25:00
costs. The backdrop commercially
25:02
was that the post office was on
25:05
a headlong drive to become self-sustaining
25:09
to not have to rely on government subsidies.
25:12
So the board were heavily incentivised
25:15
to make profit. All
25:18
their incentives were financial,
25:19
human. Yeah, but
25:21
in that way it reminds me of a medical scandal in some ways,
25:23
right? Which is like a drug company finding out their new wonder
25:26
drug that's making them billions suddenly, and
25:28
it's making people's legs fall off. And there's
25:30
obviously a few isolated examples, and
25:32
they're kind of arrogant about the fact that, oh, patients,
25:34
you know what they're like, they never tell the truth anyway.
25:36
So some of those, yeah, I think that's really interesting
25:38
to me that this is a dry financial scandal
25:41
in some ways, but there's a lot of human drama
25:43
in it too, of people making terrible mistakes
25:45
and lying to themselves, lying to other
25:47
people. Yeah, and
25:49
I don't think the post office have faced up
25:51
to the fact that they need to
25:54
address that side of it. We've looked
25:56
at a lot of the victims of this and
25:59
their stories.
26:00
Not all of them have come out, but lots have and
26:02
we can see what was happening there. But
26:05
I don't think we've really seen inside properly
26:07
yet
26:08
what was driving those people, as
26:10
you say. Do you think we will in the
26:12
course of this inquiry? I think it's starting to come out
26:15
with talking to lawyers, but they're so defensive.
26:17
I watched some of the sessions live
26:20
and there's a lot
26:22
of selective memory on
26:24
our current move. You know, even when confronted
26:26
with reports of what they'd said,
26:28
there's a lot of, I can't imagine
26:30
I would have said that. But the mindset
26:33
in the post office clearly hasn't changed
26:35
at all, because I mean, you pointed this out, but
26:38
they decided that they deserved a bonus
26:41
for looking into a previous miscarriage
26:44
as part of their job. They wanted more money, more
26:46
money. Yeah, that's the sort of perverse
26:49
world they operate in. They
26:51
would have answered that criticism,
26:53
that obvious sort of outrage
26:57
by saying, well, actually, that shows we're taking the inquiry
26:59
seriously, because our
27:01
bonus structure has to reflect our priorities.
27:04
So if we build in dealing
27:06
with the inquiry properly into our bonus system,
27:09
then actually that means we're
27:11
going to do it properly. As if, you know, if
27:13
you don't pay us a bonus, then we won't. Then
27:15
why not would any normal human being do anything?
27:18
But maybe they just plugged it into the computer system and the
27:20
computer said, oh, that's right, you wrote several hundred thousand pounds
27:22
of bonus. Now,
27:25
just to bring us up to date and to throw
27:27
in a bit of balance, we should cover the fact that
27:30
as we are recording this, the Labour Party conference
27:32
is currently in full swing up in Liverpool. I
27:34
guess the thing that I mean, I don't
27:37
want to predict a cover. And actually, the
27:39
next night is going to come out a week after the Labour conference
27:41
has ended. But I don't know whether Ian,
27:43
you feel a duty of balance to put the Labour
27:45
conference on as we've had a Conservative Party
27:47
conference on. Yeah, I'm slightly worried because
27:50
I read a piece saying that they are
27:52
deliberately trying to make this conference boring,
27:55
which may be just to cover up for the fact that
27:57
it is boring and they've tried really
27:59
hard. to make it interesting. I don't know, but yes,
28:02
clearly I feel a duty
28:04
of balance. And Helen, you've been doing
28:06
lots of this. Yeah, I'm sort of obsessed
28:08
with Keir Starmer because
28:10
I think he's got one of the most interesting stories
28:12
in British politics and like Ian's saying, he's camouflaged
28:14
it very carefully under sort of a tedium shield 30
28:17
miles thick. But he has changed,
28:19
he basically ditched all of his pledges that he
28:22
made to become Labour leader. So, you
28:24
know, he was going to end the cruel
28:26
sanctions regime and now they're keeping the two child
28:28
benefit caps. I mean, it's caused a lot of dissent within
28:30
Labour, defending migrant rights,
28:32
you know, whereas now he accepts the end of free
28:35
movement.
28:35
You know, there have just been this series of U-turns
28:37
and he's dragged Labour back into
28:39
this much more centrist, blary
28:42
position, all with, you know, a reasonable
28:44
grumbling, but not actually the civil
28:46
war that you perhaps would have predicted that would
28:49
follow that in 2020. So I
28:51
think, I think you're right. I think they'd love nothing more
28:53
than this to be an extremely boring conference where no
28:55
one says anything that makes any news and
28:57
they just quietly wait for the Tories to
28:59
tear each other apart and do weird things
29:02
like invite Nigel Farage to their conference and then
29:04
dance with him. That was very strange. But
29:06
is this not the time where they do announce the
29:09
positive vision for change that Britain
29:11
needs? I thought this would be as the last party
29:13
conference, probably before an election, the one in which they enact
29:15
phase three of the master plan.
29:17
There is a part of the, it was detox the party
29:20
and then phase
29:20
three, I can't remember, under pants names, but
29:22
phase two, point out Tories rubbish
29:25
and then phase three, you know, who's not rubbish us. Yeah.
29:27
Right.
29:27
And, you know, to some extent that's working. They had an
29:29
enormous by-election win in Scotland and that
29:32
seat that was vacated by Margaret Ferrier who break
29:34
the Covid rules with a 24% swing.
29:37
So I think they feel relatively confident about the fact
29:39
that they don't need to come out there and say, you know, free
29:41
bus passes for, you know, whoever
29:43
or whatever it might be. I think the trouble is
29:45
that journalists always demand that party leaders have
29:48
vision because it gives you something to write about in a column. And
29:51
I'm not sure that it necessarily, I think
29:53
actually people go, well, you're not going to get into parliament
29:55
just by not being the Tories. And
29:57
I think
29:57
it's just about possible that they
29:59
more.
29:59
quite actually. But
30:02
having a vision that is, my vision
30:04
of Britain is that it's not as bad
30:06
as it is now. Yeah. I
30:08
think that is alright. I think that
30:11
might work. My
30:11
cabinet is less weird than the current
30:13
cabinet. Yeah. And I'm quite boring
30:16
rather than being either crazy or a crook.
30:18
It's sort of a fairly powerful message I would
30:20
say. And is it working?
30:23
Well. And behind the scenes?
30:24
Is there anything I think is fascinating?
30:26
So Patrick McGuire of The Times did a very good profile
30:28
of Morgan McSweeney who is sort of the
30:31
dominant comings of this operation except
30:33
the exact opposite of dominant comings in that he hates
30:35
publicity and doesn't write 30,000 word
30:37
blogs. Which is the correct thing to do if
30:39
you're going to be the kind of, not the brains
30:41
exactly, but the kind of iron fist of
30:43
the operation because everyone will hate you and they can't
30:46
say that they hate the leader so they all say they hate you. But
30:48
he's a really interesting guy. He's from Cork
30:51
in Ireland. He lives in rural Anaksha.
30:53
His wife is standing actually for
30:55
the next door seat to the one that they won just
30:57
recently. And so you've ended up with, yeah,
31:00
this kind of Irish guy lives in Scotland really in
31:02
masterminding the English revival
31:04
as well as the Scottish revival of the Labour
31:06
Party, which is kind of a cute and interesting
31:08
thing. Someone described him in that piece
31:10
I think is dominant comings but not
31:12
crackers. Which is hard to consider what's
31:15
left.
31:17
But in the same sense that he is the one who has
31:19
kind of said, this is where the
31:22
country is and this is therefore where we have to be
31:24
on a whole range, like from welfare to
31:26
immigration. And they have been very ruthless
31:28
about selection, which we've covered several times
31:30
in HP source. And also about the fact
31:32
that, you know, conference, last year they were all buoyant.
31:35
It was extraordinary, very weird to see the Labour Party
31:37
happy. I didn't like it at all. But
31:39
this time what's really nice is that the businesses
31:41
have come flooding back. So Jim
31:44
Murphy's lobbying firm is there, you
31:46
know, they have got Labour Together has got, which is
31:48
the kind of starmore, I think tank, has
31:50
had a huge amount of money applied into it. Big
31:53
donors want to give the Labour Party money again,
31:55
which was not the case during the Corbyn years, although the
31:58
membership was, you know, a grand
31:59
streets membership was very healthy. And what happened
32:02
to this vast movement that
32:04
disapproved of care and centrism and Blairism
32:07
and Blair dad-ism and all
32:09
the other movements that
32:11
they didn't like?
32:12
There are some people who are really unhappy and
32:15
keep
32:15
writing you know about the broken promises
32:17
but weirdly not that many I feel like I'm sort of
32:19
more obsessed with
32:20
the broken promises than quite a lot of people
32:22
on the labour left. I think the thing that's really
32:24
obvious is that quite a lot of people who supported
32:26
Corbyn really bought the hope.
32:28
They really liked the fact that he was properly opposing
32:30
the Tories after the Miliband
32:33
era where you know it felt like a real near miss
32:35
in 2015 and in a different way, Stalmer
32:37
is doing that. It looks like he is 20 points
32:39
ahead and uncaused to form a Labour government.
32:42
So I think some people say okay so it might
32:44
not be the Labour Party that I would in my dreams have
32:47
but it's better than a Tory party and I'm surprised
32:49
by how many people have basically taken
32:51
that bargain.
32:52
Do you think that if
32:54
this business is breaking promises people actually
32:56
quite like it? They think that makes him look like
32:59
a Prime Minister for his continuity. Did
33:03
you have a few illicit parties in affairs? Yeah,
33:05
that's in phase two. I
33:08
do think the really weird thing about U-turns is that political
33:11
journalists are obsessed with them but you should always do
33:13
them
33:13
because people don't pay that much attention
33:15
to politics and it's much better to end
33:17
up with the right policy in the end than
33:19
to be you know you'll be mocked
33:20
at Prime Minister's questions for two weeks
33:23
but after that you're at you're essentially in the
33:25
correct policy space. Just always do it.
33:27
I wonder if they're in a way
33:29
triangulating themselves into a bit of a corner
33:32
when it comes to economically
33:35
what they can do they promise to improve all
33:37
sorts of things.
33:38
Everything's going to get better, education,
33:40
health service is going to have all
33:42
these problems solved and so on.
33:44
At the same time Rachel Reeves is
33:47
being extremely conservative
33:49
and promising that she's not going to raise any
33:51
taxes. So where does that lead?
33:53
That leaves them in a sort of Gordon Brown type
33:56
position in about 97 doesn't it? Needing
33:59
to look for other people.
33:59
sources of money which is how we got to the private
34:02
finance need which would be great
34:04
for us.
34:05
You're right, where it leaves them
34:08
is absolutely stuffed. They have essentially done
34:10
the same thing that Blair did in 1997 which was
34:12
say we'll stick to the Tory spending envelope. The
34:14
difference being that he was coming on the back of a, you know,
34:16
John Major left him a pretty decent economy
34:19
by that point and they were on a big boom.
34:21
Now it does not look like that
34:23
and so the line constantly from Keir Starmer and Rachel
34:26
Reeves is we won't put your taxes up. He came in with
34:28
a pledge to put up taxes on the top 5% of earners.
34:30
You know, even that is kind
34:32
of off the table now. So you're
34:34
right, there will be sneaky raids. I mean things
34:36
like pensions I would look at very carefully because
34:39
they want to do stuff like cut NHS waiting
34:41
lists by paying doctors overtime. Well, you
34:44
know, with what cash? And
34:46
there is, I think the next election is basically
34:47
going to be fought on a sort of giant lie that Britain
34:49
is a lot richer than it is and we've got a lot
34:52
more money to throw around and you won't have to pay higher taxes
34:54
or accept worse public services.
34:57
There's going to be a lot of work being done
34:59
by things like efficiency savings. That's
35:01
always where you turn for when you've really
35:03
run out of money. I was amazed
35:06
to see Starmer saying someone saying,
35:08
well, where's this money coming from? And
35:10
he's saying, growth. And I thought,
35:12
oh, God, he's turning into Liz and Ross.
35:15
You know, be careful. Yeah,
35:17
well, that was you're right. Exactly. The Gordon Brown thing was
35:19
we share the proceeds of growth. And then the next
35:21
question has to be now in 2023, 24, what growth? And
35:23
we're servicing
35:25
this very big debt at very
35:27
high levels of interest. Again, a different situation
35:30
to where we were even 10 years ago. And
35:33
but you're right, but it's not in the Tories interest
35:35
to bring this up because they don't have
35:36
an answer to that question. Apart
35:38
from going, you're right, actually, you've looked at it now it
35:40
does all God, well, this terrible
35:42
that is the Chancellor's position. Particularly if you
35:44
catch him slightly
35:47
off guard, he's just looking at God,
35:50
he's saying these figures. Right, he always
35:52
looks like he's just remembered. Yeah.
35:55
But but he's been so quiet and
35:57
the effort to make Sunak
35:59
presidents has been very concerted,
36:01
but he, I don't think, mentioned the cost
36:03
of living in his speech at
36:06
the Conservative conference, did he? Maybe briefly
36:08
in passing? Well, his big thing on
36:10
that is inflation, isn't it? That's one of his five.
36:13
Oh, that's a tax. He's going to bring
36:15
down inflation and that's a tax cut. Yeah.
36:18
So that's your cost of living dealt with. We're
36:20
going to have inflation of 5%, not 10%. And
36:23
the Chancellor got fine. 10, 15 minutes
36:27
at the conference. Right. He was quite a short
36:29
speech. The better, I'm the Prime Minister's wife, God. But
36:33
that is a kind of classic culture war play
36:35
in the sense of you've kind of given up the ghost economically, you
36:37
don't have anything to say, then you just retreat to
36:39
your comfort zone. Like, I felt looking at that Tory
36:41
Party conference a bit like I felt looking at Labour in 2015, where
36:44
they went, oh, it's all terrible. Why
36:46
don't we just have what we really want? Let's forget
36:48
about compromising the electorate. Can't I just have,
36:50
like, a government that's just David Frost
36:53
hugging Nigel Farage next to
36:55
Priti Patel and then Suella
36:56
Braveman shouting at people. That's just what I want
36:58
in my heart. And, you know, rather
37:01
than saying, what is a Tory Party that
37:03
could win a majority in Britain? What does that look like? What do
37:05
we have to do? And I think that they're going to
37:07
have to go through this sort of, if they lose the next election, which they're
37:09
uncoursed to, go through the kind of spin cycle
37:11
of just having freak
37:13
hour before they get back to
37:15
a position where they, sorry to be true. I'm
37:18
kind of talking about Ian Duncan's death, the last
37:20
freak hour. No, there was at a moment, I thought,
37:22
beginning to end up where GB News has more
37:25
members of Parliament than the Conservative.
37:28
The official opposition. There
37:30
was one Labour pledge I wanted to ask you about, Richard,
37:32
which is from Rachel Rees's speech. Oh,
37:35
yeah. We're recording this just
37:37
after that happened, and it's about cutting the use of
37:39
management consultants in government. Cutting
37:41
it by half,
37:42
I think?
37:43
She really has been reading the eye.
37:48
And because the rest of it through a kind of cost benefit analysis
37:50
to make sure it's going to be valued for money. Right.
37:54
Well, that would be a departure.
37:57
Yet again, this is your fault. We're going to be
37:59
saying politicians. was a right. Yeah.
38:02
This is exactly what David Cameron said
38:04
in 2010. Do you remember he came in and said,
38:07
we're going to end government by management consultant.
38:10
And he did cut it for a year or so, but
38:13
then it crept right back up. Right.
38:15
And we're back there. So they may
38:17
well, you know, really feel the heat for 12 months
38:20
or so. Frederic
38:22
has been chatting to George Osborne, which
38:24
is only a fact I learned from the Osborne
38:26
Balls podcast. Oh,
38:29
it's the listener. I've
38:33
written every single one of those lukewarm reviews
38:35
for us on iTunes. Yeah. But he just casually
38:37
dropped into the conversation. Well, in my conversations with
38:39
Rachel Reeves, I've made clear about how normal.
38:42
Yeah, but he was chanced for quite a long time. You might
38:45
not think he did a very good job, but he at least understands
38:47
what the job is. Right. And has tried to have
38:49
a go at it. I don't, I wouldn't have a go at over
38:51
that. I know I said kiss on was boring.
38:53
Yeah. I'm going to attract that because you know what he did that I
38:55
think is enormously banterous.
38:58
He made Boris Johnson's ex-wife his
39:00
advisor on social harassment in the workplace.
39:02
Yes. A genuinely good joke.
39:07
So yeah, I retract that he is,
39:09
he is a master troll and I
39:11
stam. I was thinking
39:14
Lord Byron's widow set
39:16
up a home for fallen girls in
39:19
honor of her husband. I thought that's about
39:21
the same level of joke. She
39:24
also announced an anti-covid
39:26
corruption commissioner. Have you seen
39:29
that? Yes. Excellent. That's
39:31
just government by private. I know. Your
39:35
Dominic coming for my name in terms of that Richard.
39:37
I mean, it's slightly sort
39:39
of anti horse bolting, uh, right. Commissioner,
39:42
um, several years after the event,
39:44
what we probably need is someone
39:46
with that kind of role in government, looking at all
39:49
the other scams going on. Some of which we just talked
39:51
about, uh, some of the more current ones. Give
39:53
them a few years. We
39:55
should mention the interest of balance that the
39:57
Lib Dems and the Greens also had a conference. SMP.
40:00
Yes. Although the SMP one is just them crying. No,
40:03
you're right,
40:05
we should mention that. And now we have. I've
40:08
read a couple of people saying that the
40:10
other thing about Kirstom is he's very lucky and
40:13
Corbin wasn't lucky and whatever else
40:15
you think about him and the SMP
40:17
deciding to entirely implode
40:20
is not necessarily to his enormous
40:23
political credit. Yes,
40:25
I don't think Kirstom has secretly sent Nicola Sturgeon
40:27
that campervern perspective saying, oh these
40:30
look nice,
40:30
when you like to spend some SMP money on these? And
40:32
actually he benefits from that enormously because if
40:35
you remember the 2015 election the idea of Ed
40:37
Miliband in the pocket of sermon and
40:39
Sturgeon, that was a very powerful Tory
40:41
message was if you vote for a Labour government
40:44
what you're actually gonna get is loads more money is gonna go
40:46
to Scotland and English voters didn't like
40:48
that. They were like what about my hospital? And
40:50
if Labour can make the case that it can win UK-wide,
40:53
I mean not excluding Northern Ireland, but if it
40:55
can make the case that it wins the rest of the nations
40:57
then that becomes that sort of nullified. And Kirstom
41:00
has from the start said I won't do any kind of deal,
41:02
I will not do a coalition with the SMP because he knows
41:04
how incredibly potent that attack line was. But
41:07
you're right, he has been handed the gift of at
41:09
the right time, the SMP
41:11
has sort of detonated itself. But
41:14
you know, Anna Sawa, the Labour leader in Scotland
41:16
is a genuinely I think good politician, he's
41:18
a smart guy, he's an improvement on the
41:20
run of you know, maybe rude, no
41:23
hopers, I don't know if he's slightly rude, but people
41:25
who really struggled to escape the orbit of the SMP
41:27
and the gravity, you know, the gravity of Scottish politics revolving
41:29
around the SMP for so long. So
41:31
I think you know, there's a smart alliance
41:33
he's made Stalmer and Sawa have
41:36
a kind of decent working relationship and that really
41:38
helps. But you're right, he has
41:40
been the beneficiary of timing,
41:43
he's also been the beneficiary of timing, let's be honest about the fact
41:45
that the Tories are just clapped out. You
41:47
know, I think it's a lot harder to win you know, for
41:50
people to be in opposition for one term and come back.
41:52
Whereas what we've done now is we've cycled through various iterations
41:55
of a Tory party and now as I say,
41:57
I think they've sort of just even they fail
41:59
themselves.
41:59
they've given up. You know if you look at the number
42:02
of Tory MPs who are retiring at the next election a lot
42:04
of them have gone 50 I think. Yeah 50 out of about 350. And
42:06
Chris Grayling for health reasons
42:09
has become the latest of those but there are a lot of people have
42:12
looked and gone I'll leave it.
42:15
Someone else can sort. I was personally
42:18
very excited to see the Prime
42:20
Minister doing a joke about
42:22
Nicholas Sturgeon which is straightforward contempt of
42:24
court as an active police investigation and
42:27
he's not being investigated so I'm just putting
42:29
it on record. The next time I am done
42:31
for contempt of court I will plead
42:34
what we call the Sunac defence is that
42:36
it doesn't matter. And it was the only joke
42:38
as well. The only joke is potentially
42:41
a breach of the law. He did one good joke
42:43
at the private Westminster correspondence thing where he talked about
42:45
what they're going to do at Karaoke and he said he was
42:47
going to do Tiny Dancer. Well that's just like
42:49
him reserving his best joke for the private sector. That's
42:52
it for this episode
42:55
of page 94. We'll be back again in a
42:57
fortnight with another one. Between now and then if
42:59
you find yourself wanting to read more of these
43:01
stories in print form subscriptions to Private
43:04
Eye are available. All you have to do is go to private-eye.co.uk.
43:08
There is a big red button there which says get a subscription
43:10
now. We warmly recommend you do that. Thanks
43:13
for listening and
43:13
see you next time.
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