0:00

Page 94, The Private Eye

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podcast. Hello and welcome to the Page 94

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Quiz of the Year. I'm Helen Lewis.

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I am joined by Andrew Hunter Murray

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and Adam McQueen for a festive slugathon.

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Can I just check that both of your buzzers are

0:15

working? Andy, let's hear you. Yep. I

0:18

said like dinner. Adam,

0:21

let's hear you. Right, good.

0:23

I think that's... Absolutely deafening. That's

0:26

in no way going to become upsetting at

0:28

any point during this. Thank

0:30

you very much. We have Matt on the score.

0:32

So there's everything to play for here. There will be

0:34

a winner and a loser. Not everyone here is a

0:37

winner. Yes. Will there be a prize? The

0:40

respect and adoration of the Page 94

0:42

podcast fans. I lost that many years

0:44

ago. Whatever's left over in the quality

0:46

street at this point in the Christmas

0:48

celebrations. Okay, great. First round is called

0:50

Spare Me and it is based on the... No.

0:54

Yes. Adam already looking more

0:56

confident than Andy. It is based on Prince Harry's

0:58

memoir, Spare. Great. What

1:00

did Harry apply to his frost-nipped penis and why

1:03

did he find it weird? Oh,

1:06

no. It was Vaseline. It was Vaseline. Oh,

1:08

Adam. It was a sort of cosmetic

1:11

crease. His mother had

1:13

used and it smelt of his mother and he said

1:15

he had a weird moment. I know the brand. I

1:17

need the... I'm going to need the brand. It's Elizabeth

1:20

Arden. It's Elizabeth Arden. It is Elizabeth

1:22

Arden and he gets the point

1:24

and it is because his mother used to use it

1:26

on her lips which is just in the audiobook is

1:28

even worse let me tell you than than just reading

1:30

on the page. Who is Prince Harry

1:32

describing in Spare here? He looked

1:34

like a cross between Tigger and Borushnikov. Who's

1:39

Borushnikov? Mikhail Borushnikov, the ballet dancer. The

1:41

ballet dancer. Later

1:43

becomes Carrie's lover in the last series

1:45

of the first edition of Sex and

1:48

the City. Thank you. Okay. Well, now

1:50

I know. She knows the answers. Now

1:52

I know that. Presumably, it's not just

1:54

some member of his squadron in Afghanistan.

1:56

It's not. So Tigger and Borushnikov, Prince

1:58

Edward. Do you want any advance on the show? that. So

2:00

Prince Andrew. It is not. It

2:02

is Prince William at his

2:04

native and colonial birthday party.

2:07

Ah yes indeed. The one where Harry

2:09

famously wore the Nazi on-band wasn't it?

2:12

And William was in a leopard

2:14

skin. Yeah okay I

2:16

get the right. The tight now

2:18

and there. Yeah good. Photos that

2:20

didn't end up in the sun.

2:24

What's anagram of Rebecca Brooks? Did

2:26

Harry say was appropriate given the

2:28

story he claimed she made up

2:30

about him? It

2:33

was really offensive wasn't it? It was really unpleasant.

2:36

And now I'm trying to try I can't see. I've got

2:38

anagrams. It's got a k in it hasn't it?

2:40

I wonder if this should be like university

2:42

times. I should deduct a point from you

2:44

for popping too soon. Is it rancid?

2:46

No. It's

2:48

an anagram. Is rank in there somewhere? I'd

2:51

like to bid for half of the answer.

2:53

Oh a knob. There's a knob in there

2:55

somewhere. No again. Really? Oh yeah

2:58

yeah no N. The story about him going to

3:00

rehab. You

3:02

can even have gone with Wade. That would have been much easier.

3:04

Okay I'm going to put you both out of your misery. It

3:07

is rehab-a-coo-k. Well that's

3:09

a rubbish. Take it

3:11

up with Prince Harry. Oh

3:13

my fault. Oh indeed Rebecca Brooks for not having

3:15

a very good name for anagramming. He says doesn't

3:17

he as she's coming back to me now he

3:19

refuses to use her actual name because she annoys

3:21

him so much. So yes that's a heavy came

3:23

up with another one. An even worse one maybe

3:25

for someone else or maybe it was for Rebecca

3:27

as well. I don't know. We have a kooks.

3:30

We have a kooks. That is a bad anne-

3:32

as in the sort of noughties banned the kooks.

3:34

Yeah. That's the reference. Let's give you an insight

3:36

into what Harry was doing while the ghost writer

3:38

patiently typed up this whole thing was workshopping

3:40

away his anagrams. I've got a brilliant one. I've

3:42

got a brilliant one. This has got to go.

3:44

And then the guy's sitting there going oh god

3:46

we never got this with Andre Agassi. Okay. Visiting

3:49

a national park of which poet

3:51

does Harry observe? I'd managed to

3:53

avoid reading that old gents stuff in school but now I

3:55

thought he must be pretty damn good if he spent time

3:57

around these parts. If

4:00

it's Africa, is it Kipling? It is not.

4:02

Oh. Ooh. I

4:05

think we'll talk too soon with that one. I'm going to say Shelley.

4:08

You're also wrong. It was Wordsworth on the Lake District.

4:10

Oh, that's sort of National Park. That's sort

4:12

of like the Kruger National Park. Well, he

4:14

flies out to kind of Botswana at a well-tuned, well-titled park,

4:16

didn't he? He's at a well-titled park, didn't he? National Park's

4:19

all over the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

4:21

yeah, yeah. Whose politics does Harry describe as just to the

4:23

right of the Taliban's? Adam.

4:26

Rehabber cooks. Prince

4:29

Philip. Mm-mm. Oh, okay. You

4:32

were not getting the point, Adam, but you were near it. It was Rupert

4:34

Murdoch. Oh, okay. I was going to go for that. He

4:36

did have experience of the Taliban, I suppose. So he's, you

4:39

know, he's in many ways well-placed to make that assessment. Or

4:42

is he causing peer murdering? Who

4:46

put... Anyway, this

4:48

next round is called Friends of the Eye. Ooh, cool. So

4:51

it's people who have been... No, we haven't. Bigger

4:53

than... The viewer. This

4:55

episode goes on. Why,

4:58

according to Donald Trump, could he not

5:00

buy flypaper this year? They've

5:04

banned it due to the wokeness. That's it, isn't it? That

5:07

is true. It has been banned,

5:09

he claimed, because of cruelty to animals. And they

5:11

say, it's cruelty to animals. Yes. It

5:15

was just a completely made-up story that he managed

5:17

to somehow latch onto and just say... Wow. Was

5:20

it from anywhere? Was it from a mad right-wing website or

5:22

something like that? No one ever banned the thought of it.

5:25

He just thought that's the kind of thing that they would do,

5:27

wouldn't they? OK,

5:30

next question. This year, Netflix's Beckham

5:32

documentary notably did not mention pig-bother

5:34

a Rebecca Loose. But,

5:37

like, Adam is so precious. He's been waiting

5:39

all his life, born ready for this question.

5:42

But which long time, I, Bet Noir,

5:44

according to him anyway, is her second

5:47

cousin? Is Rebecca Loose's second cousin? Yes.

5:49

Yeah, Adam, this is one for you. He

5:52

said, this is claiming all responsibility for having an answer.

5:54

Which long time, I bother her. No,

5:57

she's the pig-botherer. And the cousin,

5:59

to be fair, you... You could call an eye-botherer in much the

6:01

way that she bothered the pig, yeah. We've

6:03

never done that! I'm

6:07

going to have a punt that it's a

6:09

political figure, I'm going to say it's Jonathan

6:12

Aitken. No, this is

6:14

not. Think more boastful and you've got a

6:16

nickname for them. Oh, it's Geoffrey Archer.

6:19

I'm just thinking Maxwell Goldsmith, Fayed...

6:23

Cousin, though. I'm going to time

6:25

you out. It is Piers Morgan.

6:29

Really? He's a second cousin. So he claimed,

6:31

or claimed at the time of the scandal, in order to

6:33

insert himself into the news agenda. So I'm not saying any

6:35

of this was a big brother. Right, okay. Did

6:38

you see that magnificent thing he wrote in the Sunday Times?

6:40

It said, why I named the royals in Omid Scobie's book.

6:42

And it didn't look like it. It's like the answer is,

6:45

so as everyone would look at me. So

6:47

as I could be part of the story. It

6:49

was great. I actually watched the whole clip and he spends about eight

6:51

minutes sort of saying, you know, how terrible... Basically it's

6:54

about how much he hates Omid Scobie. And

6:56

then as a tiny parenthetical... Fast forward right

6:58

through to the last five seconds. And he

7:00

gets pissed at her. Yeah. Anyway, right. Next

7:02

question. Andy, this year we discovered

7:04

you could do a Rishi Sinek impression. Who

7:07

told him this year that we should,

7:09

quote, stay true to the truth because

7:11

truth pays? Oh.

7:17

No one in the Conservative Party. No.

7:20

No, okay. Obviously, but... Truth is

7:22

the truth because truth pays. Greta Thunberg.

7:25

Ma'er. Kirstarmer. Ma'er.

7:28

It was Elon Musk. It's a hot

7:30

hot job interview. I should have watched

7:32

the podcast interview. She's good. She's good.

7:35

Sorry, it wasn't a podcast. She should have paid some attention to the

7:37

news this year. I would

7:39

have been an idea. It wasn't

7:41

a podcast. It just felt like a podcast, that event between

7:43

the two of them, didn't it? Just everything else in 2020

7:45

there is a podcast. The

7:47

rest is podcast. Adam, this year I enjoyed

7:50

your Prince Charles impression. What,

7:52

according to several news stories, is

7:54

unusual about his relationship with ice cubes. I

7:57

know he says shoelaces are ironed. There's the toothpaste.

8:00

story has come up again this year. Ice cubes.

8:03

Oh, the royal family won't have ice in their drinks when they

8:05

go abroad because of the danger

8:07

of something in the water.

8:09

Yeah. I mean that's a very good rule of thumb if

8:11

you're travelling far. That was definitely one of

8:14

the Queen's rules along with no carnations. So has he inherited

8:16

that one from his mum? I don't know. I will put

8:18

that one out to VAR because I think I should accept

8:20

that one if it is in fact you, but it's not

8:22

the one I was looking for. Oh, is

8:24

it? Andy, do you want to have a go

8:26

at this one? Yeah, they're all carved into the

8:28

shape of high growth, his ice cubes. That's it.

8:30

That is actually closer to the answer, which is

8:33

that he doesn't like ice cubes, he prefers rounded

8:35

ice. Oh my god. Wow. I suppose you get

8:37

more surface area connecting with the drink. Do

8:39

you know what I'm thinking? They maximise your

8:42

surface to volume ratio of the ice sphere.

8:44

Surely you would have a bit less. I think it's

8:47

quite an efficient shape, a cube. Well. If

8:49

you've got six sides, write in

8:51

mathematicians, please don't. How do you make

8:53

a round ice cube? How would it... What shape is the

8:55

ice cube, Tye? You

8:58

can do like a penisphere, can't you?

9:00

How do you do a whole circle?

9:02

Given that you can make round chocolates, the concept of...

9:04

You might have to rotate the mould at

9:06

some point, I'm guessing. Actually, you make... Oh, I suppose

9:08

you've got people to do that for. You make a

9:10

big cube one and you just dedicatedly chisel away at

9:12

a lot of times. You chip away at it. Yeah,

9:14

yeah. You've got a load of ice sculpts. Yeah, yeah.

9:16

I think it's called the Royal Cube Smither. It's some

9:18

type of like that. The Royal Rander.

9:21

Next question. Who, according to Anton Deck

9:23

on I'm a Celebrity, are GB News's

9:25

viewers? Keith and

9:27

Doreen. Oh, I'm so

9:30

close. Not right. It can't be

9:32

Sid and Doris, I reference. It cannot be

9:34

Sid and Doris, I'm... Kevin and Dorian. Linda

9:36

and Keith. Linda and Keith. They often give

9:38

a shout-out to Linda and Keith. Did they?

9:40

They say, oh, the GB News viewers are

9:42

missing Nigel Farage. Now, you've been very rude

9:45

about their viewing figures, because it's not just

9:47

Linda and Keith. Sometimes their dog walks into

9:49

the room as well. OK,

9:52

the next round is called An Answer

9:54

to My Critics, which is my favourite

9:57

genre of any kind of blog post

9:59

tweet article. Who claimed this year

10:01

that quote dark forces were trying to bring

10:03

them down because they had quote political views

10:05

that challenged the orthodoxy Adam

10:08

Liz Truss. No, well, she must have

10:10

done I mean Specific

10:13

quote dark forces. Oh, I'm

10:15

Dan Wootton. Correct About

10:18

I thought you were nailed on for Dan Wootton. That's

10:21

sort of unfortunate. I would have accepted Martin Branning Okay,

10:24

we have to say allegedly at that point

10:30

This will be the first legal quiz Okay,

10:36

who wrote this year I was called everything

10:39

from immoral to insane and that was just

10:41

some of the friendly fire I encountered Nadine

10:44

Dorries Really

10:48

Wow, yeah, I would have guessed exactly the same

10:51

immoral and everything from immoral to insane and that

10:53

was just some of the friendly fire I encountered

10:55

I'm gonna say let's trust here. It is I

10:58

think what's gonna happen is that Adam is gonna give one

11:00

gonna be like that great to Ronnie sketch Yeah,

11:06

okay who said his expulsion from the

11:09

Conservative Party Quotes only confirms

11:11

the culture of corruption collusion and cover-ups

11:13

which plagues our political system Andrew

11:16

Bridgman correct. Yeah Cheers

11:20

for Andrew Bridgman. This is what my life has become

11:22

a tato King Andrew Bridgman Hmm Who

11:25

said the last time Krista reviewed one of

11:27

my books? He said it was the worst book you'd ever read

11:29

it went on to sell 500,000 copies That's

11:33

Nadine Dorries. Yes. I know if I just stuck

11:35

with Nadine Dorries I'd get her eventually It's

11:38

a quiz set by Ellen Lewis. We're gonna get

11:40

Nadine Dorries It was a referring to Christopher Hope

11:42

Chopper formerly of the Telegraph now of GB News

11:44

So yes, although he said the book was bad.

11:47

It also sold who knew that things that are

11:49

bad are also popular Okay,

11:51

next question Who said

11:54

in retrospect it was naive and trusting of me

11:56

to think that these proceedings could be remotely useful

11:58

or fair I think

12:01

that's Boris Jotun on his kangaroo court. It

12:04

is correct. Pulling back.

12:06

So that means at the end of that round, Andy's

12:08

on four, Adam is on three. Oh

12:10

no, Adam's on five. Sorry. At

12:13

the end of that round, Andy's on five, Adam is on

12:15

three. I knew I

12:17

kept a close eye on the news that you knew Adam. I knew it.

12:19

I always had a hunch. OK. Next

12:21

round is called Spare Me 2. Oh no. Just

12:26

to give you that full sensation of reading the memoir. Of

12:30

what occasion does Prince Harry say, I've

12:32

drunk Booza to multiple prosthetic legs in my life

12:34

and I can't swear that was one of the

12:37

times? It's Dad's coronation.

12:42

Is this a party with James

12:44

Blunt where someone was supposedly knighted with a

12:47

sword and then lost a bit of their

12:49

scalp? I didn't even

12:51

remember that. Hang on. I thought

12:53

you were just recalling your own weekend then.

12:55

It was either Beatrice or you, knighted James

12:57

Blunt at the party.

13:00

And I think Harry was there. But it's not

13:02

that occasion. Not my one. He

13:04

may also junk wine out of a prosthetic leg,

13:06

but that was not the time he was writing

13:09

about here. That was in fact reaching the South Pole. Oh,

13:12

very good. Where the frostbite to

13:14

the willy occurred. Frostnip. It's different

13:16

from frostbite. It's

13:18

the subject in which I now have

13:20

way too much knowledge of. And is

13:22

Elizabeth Arden Cream the correct solution? I

13:25

mean, no, I don't think it is the correct solution, but I think you have to keep

13:27

it moist. Sorry.

13:29

Let's move on. With

13:32

what does Harry have a lively conversation after

13:34

trying shrooms at Courtney Cox's house? Oh.

13:38

It's nothing handy. I

13:40

think it's going to be a yucca plant. It

13:42

is not. It's

13:44

something in the bathroom, isn't it? It's either

13:46

the sink or the mirror. It is not,

13:49

either. It is in the bathroom. Is it

13:51

his valet? First

13:53

time he's ever spoken to him. No, he did not.

13:55

It was a pedal bin. A pedal bin? OK.

14:00

He sent someone else in who was also incredibly high

14:02

and said that mate don't go in the toilets talking

14:04

to you and the guy had a terrible terrible trip

14:07

Wow At their first

14:09

meeting whom does Megan assume is the Queen's

14:11

assistant because he was holding her purse and

14:13

escorted her to the door I'll

14:16

say for it. Wait, I say

14:18

Prince Andrew again. You can and you'd be right. Oh,

14:20

really? That is

14:23

very funny Just stands there holding

14:25

a handbag and then I said who

14:28

was that guy and they're like Will

14:34

you holding the handbag so you could extract the checkbook for

14:36

a bit at some point right 12

14:39

million quid check send off angry

14:41

people Next question from

14:44

whom and what kind of Halloween

14:46

costume does Harry borrow in the

14:48

book? Okay, a George clean his

14:50

Batman suit B Tom Hardy's Mad

14:52

Max outfit C Robert Downey Jr Iron

14:55

Man costume D David Tennant's Doctor Who

14:57

coat and skin off Cluny,

14:59

isn't it? It is not clean.

15:01

You're not cleaning not the worst Batman. That was the only

15:03

of the first Batman suit with nipples If you remember But

15:08

he didn't know that's not someone that Prince Harry's been

15:10

seen in Wow Okay,

15:13

I'm going to go one in three chance

15:15

andy come on. I believe in you I'm

15:17

gonna go with Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man

15:19

suit. God. No, it was Tom Hardy's

15:21

Mad Max. Oh Was

15:24

it for a party or just for Halloween? Oh

15:26

Halloween, sorry, I think Megan also had a matching

15:28

costume I think she may have come as in

15:31

water and whatever it was, you know, I'm surely

15:33

sarans character But anyway, oh, she's furious. I just

15:35

sorry point of point of all of the Yeah

15:42

Tom Hardy and Prince Harry Tom

15:45

Hardy and got him to give his character. I mean you

15:47

don't normally get to keep the costume. Do you? I the

15:49

other that normally goes off to see you could have had

15:51

a Hollywood or somewhere and he went for Mad Max I'm

15:53

kidding. Yeah, but you wouldn't like a party wearing a Bane

15:55

costume and spending time They're

16:00

both wearing very difficult masks for a lot of the

16:02

film. And he spends the night in the bathroom talking

16:04

to the pedal bin anyway. It's a dream after. As

16:06

soon as they leave, the pedal bin says, I

16:09

didn't catch a word of that. Oh, Ms. Gobi goes,

16:11

hang on, it's all right, I've got it. OK,

16:14

next question. And the final one about

16:16

Prince Harry is... Oh, no. Oh, my. Which

16:19

one of these people is not thanked in

16:21

the acknowledgements to spare? A, Bradley Walsh.

16:25

B, Oprah Winfrey. C, Tyler Perry.

16:28

Or D, James Corden. I

16:33

couldn't even part, then. That was a pathetic part.

16:35

It's got to be Bradley Walsh. He's just in everything

16:37

else. Correct. He is impacting everything else. Tyler

16:40

Perry owns their house, doesn't he? He lent them their house. Oprah

16:43

Winfrey, obviously, they did a show. James

16:45

Corden, he sat in his car, did the karaoke thing. I think

16:47

he did Carpool Karaoke at some point. He did a bus, didn't

16:49

he? Top of an open-top bus. How was it? Was

16:53

he doing one of those tours, like a sort of British

16:55

London open-top bus tour? I think that was the kind of

16:57

theme of it, yeah. Everywhere that he'd

16:59

had a grievance, he'd just point to him. That's

17:03

when I was given a slightly smaller share

17:05

of sweets than the Horse Guards Parade. I

17:10

felt like it was a bad round for me. And the

17:12

scores at the end of that round are six to

17:14

Andy and four to Adam. So there

17:16

is still all... Look at how he has. Right, OK,

17:18

I'm Handel and Hooten. All depends

17:20

what the subject of this final round

17:23

is. This round is Political Scandals of

17:25

the 1990s. No, no, no. Oh,

17:28

I really pleased you that I thought I'm in.

17:32

Yeah, Political Scandals from slightly before Andy was born. I'm

17:36

30-6. I

17:38

know, but I've decided to make me feel better about being

17:40

40 by implying that you're a kindness. And actually, for me

17:42

to pick up any points, I'm playing it with every Political

17:45

Scandal that are actually in my book of Political Scandals that

17:47

I wrote, and I probably still wouldn't get them right. No,

17:50

this round is called Anti-Woke Balls. OK,

17:53

so it's all about the year in woke. Who

17:56

said this in November? Why the hell

17:58

is the BBC trying to bow-dry its faults? towers

18:00

one of its finest creations why can we

18:02

not mention the war why are they trying

18:04

to sandpaper roll dal why could we not say

18:07

fat oh that's really good because I thought it was gonna be

18:09

a a cleasy one at the start

18:11

but actually it's sort of all about everything

18:14

yeah it's my favourite you have getting over there yeah

18:24

apparently yes we can no longer say fact although he

18:27

just did that before

18:34

hand in case anyone wanted to interview him because he'd actually

18:36

turned up to do his job for the second time okay

18:40

next question we'll just mentioned the war but

18:42

the one in Ukraine I would have

18:49

kept him really happy according to

18:51

the Sun the words personal assistant are

18:54

a woke alternative to which traditional job

18:56

title beginning with C oh which

19:01

words person personal assistant you know have

19:04

to say instead of sofa

19:06

I was

19:08

gonna go with companion you know one of

19:11

the Christian novel very much I think speaks

19:16

to the difference in your life oh

19:21

that's great no no no can we

19:23

have can we have limited number of

19:25

jobs I'm beginning with C so given

19:27

enough typewriters and monkeys you should get

19:30

it eventually chaperone not that get again

19:32

all your references like mittford novels constable

19:35

yes I mean

19:38

it's secretary

19:40

but what secretary but beginning with C secretary

19:43

spell wrong yeah that's our joint answer

19:45

please hello is it Prince Harry anagram

19:47

is that what it is another job

19:49

that is done quite widely

19:52

that you could that you could fairly

19:54

describe as being a personal assistant someone

19:56

coordinates I mean there's lots come on

19:59

there's like It's a very basic

20:01

one. Oh, it's a very basic one. It's

20:03

not called cleaner? No, it's not called cleaner.

20:05

Come on. Caretaker. It's not. Damn,

20:08

carer? Correct. Oh! I

20:12

was about to mock you for only ever having one job and

20:14

that you're like maybe you didn't know the world of work just

20:16

because you turned up at private. I never left like a sort

20:18

of really one-cast. So the sun are claiming that this is a

20:20

woke term for? Yeah, that you'd have to say personal

20:22

assistant, you can't say carer. No, but they're different things.

20:24

You get different- There is already a thing called a

20:26

personal assistant, which is- Take it up with the sun,

20:28

people. You

20:31

get different benefits for if you're-

20:34

It sounds like we're saying this woke thing isn't

20:36

all- Carer is a difference to personal assistant. Sorry,

20:38

someone who's been organizing a lot of care for

20:40

disabled and elderly people in the last few years.

20:42

They're wrong. Surprisingly, the sun are

20:44

wrong on that one. Okay, well, we

20:47

now have three questions to go and I say you've drawn level.

20:49

What? How

20:51

the hell does that happen? I don't know if you're a

20:54

mandaritist. I'm going to be a mandaritist. It has. Genuinely

20:56

distraught. Okay, okay. I've heard that

20:58

entire round on the novels of

21:00

Adam McQueen with you. It's

21:03

really decisive. Okay,

21:05

vegetarianism is, of course, woke.

21:09

Andy, looking very confident now. Who

21:11

said this year fake meat may

21:13

be okay for astronauts, but when people think of a meat feast,

21:16

I want them to be thinking about our great Welsh lamb, our Aberdeen Angus

21:18

beef, our saddleback pork, not

21:20

some pizza topping. Is

21:23

that to raise coffee? It is to

21:25

raise coffee! This

21:27

is very tense. Okay. Okay.

21:30

I'm going to need, this is a two-part answer. I'm going

21:32

to need both parts. Okay, so first this one. According

21:35

to Sowella Braverman, what do the Wokerati

21:37

eat and read? Adam.

21:41

They eat the Guardian and read tofu. That

21:43

is sort of correct, yes. Why

21:46

not? Oh my God, that means it's a nail-biting

21:48

thriller, for it all comes down to

21:50

the final question. I know we're recording in the quiet office,

21:52

but a hush has descended on the roof. I think that's

21:54

fair to say. You're only actually really feeling quite tense there.

21:57

I love this. who

22:00

are naturally competitive people. And I'm like, oh yeah, I don't really

22:02

care about the quiz. It's absolutely fine. I just, oh, stop it.

22:05

No laughter. The

22:08

new minister for common sense charged with

22:10

leading the anti-woke agenda is Esther McVey.

22:13

But what extremely woke play did she appear in

22:15

back in 2003, seated

22:17

in front of a giant V? The

22:19

BBC described her performance as a solid

22:22

performance with good Polish delivery and some

22:24

good characterization too. No laughter.

22:28

It's done in the giveaway. I think that was

22:30

Adam. And so you get first go at it?

22:33

It's the vagina monologues, isn't it? It is

22:35

the vagina monologues. And

22:37

with the vagina monologues, you

22:39

clinch victory. I'm not going to say

22:42

which words. I'm thinking, but

22:44

it's relevant to the vagina monologues. And

22:47

also coming back to a very nice private eye reference, because

22:50

if you remember one of the consistent stories about the Daily

22:52

Mail was that the, Paul Dakey used the

22:54

C word so many times in the office. His

22:56

editorial meters were known as the vagina monologues. Brilliant.

22:59

Well, that means a great big

23:01

Christmasy pudding treat goes to Adam and

23:04

a great big puddingy sadness goes

23:06

to Andy. The wooden spoon that was

23:08

used to stare at you. Love

23:11

of coal, which I also don't

23:13

like either. So. No laughter.

23:17

Thank you very much for playing. I'm sorry that

23:19

I had so many questions about Prince Harry's book.

23:22

I see that now that was an error, but

23:24

thank you very much both for playing and thank

23:26

you to all our listeners for your continued support

23:29

and ears throughout the year. And we will see

23:31

you again very soon.