0:01

P.K.A. 694. Our

0:04

guest was supposed to come, but he's running late.

0:06

I don't know. He's AFK. Tucker it out. It's

0:08

OK. It's all good. We love him anyway. Hopefully

0:10

he shows up. This episode is brought to you

0:12

by farodistro.com. Lock and load and

0:14

blue chew. Talk more about all of

0:17

them later. Kyle, you

0:19

had a bunch of stuff. Just just I

0:21

want to know about one of your mind. You

0:23

wanted to. Yeah. That awful thing that happened in

0:25

Palestine. But before I get to that, I just

0:28

wanted to like throw out there from Faro Distro.

0:30

Those double doinks are so fucking strong. It's like

0:32

some sort of diamond infused big ass

0:34

fucking joint that they sell and like a double pack.

0:37

If I think that's the highest I've been

0:40

from just smoking in memory. It's when I smoked

0:42

that double doing the other night before I played

0:44

some hell divers. So give that

0:46

one the two thumbs up for anybody who

0:48

likes to get real ripped. FaroDistro

0:50

has done such a terrible job of keeping

0:52

me in stock that I literally paid for

0:54

it. So

0:58

we'll make sure they got a big deal, though, because you

1:00

used our code and got such a great. That'd

1:03

be so funny if we didn't. Wait,

1:06

we have a code. She

1:09

was double doing so strong

1:11

shit. So smoke sparingly. Yes.

1:14

So this week, quietly,

1:17

Biden agreed, President Biden agreed to sell

1:19

Israel a new package of arms or

1:22

give them. It's hard to tell. It's

1:24

muddy murky waters when with arms deals.

1:26

You know, it is. But it

1:28

seemed like maybe fighter jets and bombs, but, you

1:30

know, just to put it plainly, fighter jets and

1:32

bombs, because they they're running low. I don't know

1:34

what's been going on. But the

1:37

same day. There's

1:40

like an aid group over there that's

1:42

just there to feed people. And

1:45

if you look at the biographies of the people

1:47

who are in this aid group, man, they seem

1:50

like great people. You know what I mean? Like

1:52

each of them seems they're not there. Not that

1:54

Chinese astronaut good, but like close. Yeah,

1:56

they're accomplished. Well, meaning just.

2:00

Just there to feed people like they

2:02

have no they're not flying a flag.

2:04

Okay, and They

2:07

gave their position to the Israelis and

2:09

the Israelis pinpoint precision bombs

2:12

them with three Precision

2:14

guided munitions and killed seven of them

2:16

So what I'm hearing is Israel got

2:18

Intel that there was some military aged

2:20

men in Hamas

2:23

occupied territory and they neutralized him.

2:25

What's the problem? they

2:27

on the roof of they

2:30

probably They

2:32

sent a missile through the route that show them

2:34

that the roof of the car They sent a

2:36

missile through the roof of the car the roof

2:39

even says like I don't know

2:41

feed the feed the hungry or some shit I

2:43

guess it's got their emblem on it, which is

2:45

like the don't bomb us emblem. Yeah

2:48

Was it a bullseye? Did they have

2:51

a bullseye in the car if they

2:53

were going for the driver then cowabunga

2:55

dude like goddamn and you know Bunka

2:58

dude, I haven't heard that since like 90s.

3:00

I'm right. I'm bringing it back back here

3:02

It is at leader brought back all the

3:04

Bart Simpson colloquial isn't Well,

3:07

I'm a cow man. Okay Yeah,

3:10

but you can see right there that it says

3:13

Feed the world kitchen or whatever.

3:15

Yeah, which well it did

3:17

known Hamas. Yeah Disagree

3:20

Taylor. I can't read that For

3:24

what was there? Pretty

3:26

well, they got a pan with it and

3:28

you know that that bomb like USA on

3:31

the side, too That's yeah, we paid for

3:33

that Yeah, we

3:35

did we financed that act

3:37

that right there, you know We

3:40

paid for the they were handing out and for

3:42

the bomb that killed them I don't know who

3:44

pays for the food that they had to trash.

3:46

We look how happy that guy looks He's he's

3:49

doing okay. No that guy's bummed. They

3:51

just killed the food truck. He's I really wish

3:53

like look I heard there's a blade in here

3:55

East Jersey or something And

3:57

so like what's the I mean? Feel

4:00

foolish even asking like what's the fall

4:02

out of this gonna be nothing Biden

4:05

will continue to give them everything they want by

4:08

had a very strong word. He will give them

4:10

whatever they want Biden had

4:13

a phone call with Netanyahu today The

4:16

results of that were there was a press conference right

4:18

before we started so I didn't get to watch it

4:21

But I don't know. I

4:24

don't know probably not much Netanyahu assured him

4:26

that he would finish the job Targeted

4:31

15 other food trucks in

4:35

That is soft up like

4:38

it is fucked up. I don't make a joke are

4:40

we a part of Comedic devil's

4:42

advocate, but I'm not a well Taylor

4:44

freedom. Don't come free as they say

4:46

mm-hmm You should

4:48

write that down jot that down. Oh you should that

4:51

that I have a shirt says You

4:53

sure this is freedom isn't free with a bombed out

4:55

foreign aid truck No No,

4:59

it's his freedom. Don't come free, and it's got George

5:01

W on it Yeah,

5:03

using the president's grammar that

5:06

yeah, I I miss the poor grammar we

5:10

Bush when you see like Trump ramble

5:12

or Biden get lost and confused It's

5:14

like man Bush was coherent at

5:16

least he just he was just misspeaking He

5:19

knew what he wanted to say he just couldn't get it out these

5:22

guys. I don't even know if they know what they want to

5:24

say It's funny that

5:26

I'm not gonna argue against that yeah, no Like

5:29

10 years like the media and everyone

5:31

was just like Frothing with

5:34

like George Bush is a murderer. He's

5:36

a genocidal murderer, and then like

5:38

five years later It's like look

5:41

at this goofy former president hugging Michelle

5:44

Have you seen his paintings? I bet they fucking suck

5:47

there. They're better. They're in we say them I

5:49

ain't waiting. No Joe us either one of his

5:52

or one of Hitler's I

5:58

Think he paints animals too he does portraits of

6:00

people I've seen those. I'm

6:02

gonna give his art in the grand

6:04

scale of let's just say amateur art.

6:06

I would say he's a seven out

6:08

of ten. If we're doing like

6:10

all art, if like Michelangelo, Da Vinci or

6:12

tens, then George Bush is a

6:14

solid fucking five. Like he knows what

6:16

he's doing clearly. I can't. I'm so

6:19

untalented. Like I can't doodle.

6:22

We'll see. We'll see what it looks like. I think

6:24

it'd be fun if my wife and I painted each

6:26

other's portraits and just saw what came

6:28

of it. You just read like

6:30

a caricature. Yeah, I'd be terrible. I haven't

6:32

picked up a paintbrush since I was a

6:34

child. But she might be half decent. She

6:36

just paints by numbers all the time. I

6:39

was never good at painting or drawing. Like

6:45

damn. Well, this is definitely not

6:47

Hitler. Hitler. I don't

6:50

see. Yeah.

6:54

These are not good.

6:56

Is the bottom left? Excuse me.

6:58

They're not good. Do you know

7:00

any people? Excellent. I think

7:02

that's Mark Zuckerberg's wife on the bottom right.

7:06

Is the bottom center one? Well, that's right.

7:08

Nizinski. Dirk.

7:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:14

I don't know his name that dirt wind ski. Is

7:16

it in the whiskey? Say

7:19

it better for me. No, whiskey. That

7:23

makes the letters in Eastern European

7:25

guy wrote it down. It might

7:27

be Dirk Nowitzki. However, it's pronounced

7:29

spelled or dated. Everyone else.

7:33

I have no clue. I thought top left

7:35

might be like Hillary Clinton's Husk here sister.

7:39

Yeah, I thought she might.

7:41

Who was the female leader of Germany? Angela

7:44

Merkel. Yes, that's who I'm going for.

7:46

He looked like that. And Angela Merkel

7:48

is much fatter than that. But

7:51

I mean, it is a painting. He was trying

7:53

to be an uglier. Who's the bottom left? That

7:55

guy like coyly biting his that's Chris Rock. No.

8:00

Oh, it's rock is not a chubby blonde woman.

8:02

Are you terrible? He's

8:05

gonna hold that his paintings are good knowing that I

8:07

don't in the top is Chris Rock and I

8:11

don't think that's Chris Rock. I think I think

8:13

that's pull I come to you in private and

8:15

I say I want to show you my Chris

8:17

Rock painting and I show that to you What

8:19

do you say? I say that's a real

8:21

funny joke They don't all look the

8:23

same. Okay, I've told you once told you twice.

8:25

This is the last I know the top, right?

8:28

Do you remember that really pretty Afghan woman on

8:32

the cover? Geographic pretty

8:34

pretty no, yeah Not

8:36

if this is not her that's not what this is. No,

8:39

that's a different I do remember exactly that lady

8:41

has green eyes though. I mean they

8:43

were striking Viking

8:46

green eyes. Yeah, they're beautiful These

8:49

suck dude, and you know, what a waste of that

8:51

beauty. It's like what were you gonna fuck her? I

8:56

Leave her to a goat hurting that

8:58

got the answer. That's not Chris Rock. It's Gilbert.

9:01

Oh God free terrible painting To

9:08

habonye, I just said a word I

9:11

don't know who these people are. They're clearly not

9:13

famous enough for me to give a fuck about

9:15

Steve John lower left my point stands that That

9:19

these are good paintings Infinitely better

9:21

than anything that any of us would stick on to

9:23

a canvas like like I don't know really gave it

9:25

the old college Try all my year or two Yeah,

9:29

maybe if you trained for a year you

9:31

could come close to what George Bush can do Yeah,

9:33

I think that proves my point. Do you think he's

9:36

been doing this for six months? Well,

9:38

he ran the world for like eight years that you know, I

9:42

Mean up in the lab and he was painting

9:44

you know these paintings aren't as good as those paintings

9:47

that Epstein had on his island of like Bill

9:49

Clinton in a dress and Bush

9:51

knocking over the Twin Towers. Those

9:53

were better done paintings. Oh, come

9:55

on, man. Like that's alright. Alright

9:57

fine This one's much better I

10:00

bet if we knew those other people we'd be blown away too. I

10:03

got Dirk right away. You did. And I, and I, that's

10:05

the one that made me. It doesn't help

10:07

my point, but I also kind of

10:09

figured out that he was that basketball player. So, credits

10:11

for honesty. Yeah. That's

10:14

not how he brushes his hair though. That's a little

10:16

inaccurate. I don't know about that. I was going to.

10:19

The browner hair in the front and center. I just caught

10:21

that. And he had Jay Leno's hair

10:23

going on. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

10:26

not sure. I caught that. And

10:29

he had Jay Leno's hair going to

10:31

the wrong direction. Not a guy for detail

10:33

I think. Well, he probably was like

10:35

mirroring it. I don't know. Give us

10:37

a collection of Hitler portraits. Who did

10:39

he paint? You're right. It's inexplicable that

10:41

I saw Hitler's done a lot of buildings and

10:43

a lot of animals from what I remember. I

10:45

remember like, not cathedrals, but interesting

10:48

European architecture, just a building in front

10:50

of the street in front of rivers.

10:52

Yeah. Yeah. I think he was

10:54

more of a landscape guy. What

10:57

were you saying? What the fuck?

10:59

Well, Bush painted this? That

11:01

can't be but Bush painted. Yeah. But

11:04

this looks like a joke. Of

11:06

course it is. That would be

11:08

wildly inappropriate painting. We got Abu

11:10

Ghraib being tortured. Is

11:14

that what that is? Yeah. Yeah.

11:17

Yeah. Yeah. They

11:19

got theirs. I never had a problem with Abu Ghraib. I feel like they

11:21

needed a little torture. And we were angry after 9-11. I

11:25

was too young to be angry. They couldn't

11:27

have been more innocent of anything. They.

11:31

That's a blanket fucking everybody,

11:33

huh? No, they got away.

11:36

Yes. None of them had anything to

11:38

do with it at all. Yeah. None of them

11:40

had anything to do with 9-11. And

11:43

none of them had weapons of mass destruction. At

11:46

worst, they're guilty of defending their country when

11:48

we invaded for no reason based on lies.

11:51

Well, that's not true at all. If

11:53

we're talking about because you're doing this big

11:55

blanket they. If we're talking about Abu Ghraib,

11:57

was that prison in, was

11:59

it Iraq? or Afghanistan. It was over

12:03

there. There were plenty

12:05

of Syrian insurgents and all sorts

12:07

of like lifelong terrorists who we'd

12:09

been looking forever who were coordinating,

12:12

organizing, and I agree with

12:14

you that maybe the average flip-flop wearing commando

12:16

with an AK-47 wasn't some wealth of

12:19

information we need to imprison for two decades, but

12:22

there were some others, you know,

12:24

mixed in. Were there? Yes. How do

12:26

we know? Because the people doing it... Well, declassified.

12:28

It's not like these are like top secret things.

12:31

Like you can watch documentaries about each and every

12:33

one of them. You can like see... You watch

12:35

interviews with the CIA operatives who helped take them

12:37

down. You can hear about like how they were

12:40

tortured. It's all very open book. Oh,

12:42

well if the CIA says they investigated

12:44

themselves and it was came back okay.

12:46

I didn't say anything like that. I

12:50

said you can watch a YouTube video with

12:52

the CIA operative who was doing it and

12:54

he'll be like, yeah, they tortured him. They

12:56

did this to him. I caught him this

12:58

way. Like they'll break down like how they

13:01

caught those people. Taylor, the CIA are the

13:03

finest investigators on earth. The fact that you

13:05

discredit their work is kind of embarrassing. It's

13:07

kind of not patriotic. It's just

13:10

it's always funny when like they bring a

13:12

CIA agent on the news and

13:14

they're like, we have a CIA agent here

13:16

to say that this war right now is

13:18

actually very good. And it's like if

13:21

you watched Russia today and like they

13:23

were like former KGB agent here to

13:25

confirm what we want them to, you'd

13:27

be like, oh, that's laughable. The

13:29

CIA, you're like, yeah, that makes sense.

13:32

We had to get those guys. We had to put

13:34

them on buckets and electrocute their testicles to learn

13:36

about terror. Like that's what we had

13:38

to do. Here's

13:41

a... If you actually

13:43

get all curious, it's this guy.

13:47

That links right to a video of a guy's ass. Did

13:51

it? Yes, it went right to

13:53

a picture of a guy's ass standing there

13:55

on the in the prisoner rape section of

13:58

the link. They needed a little. bit

14:00

of raping every now and then. Okay, like I

14:02

don't know why you're defending the enemies of the

14:04

United States. Maybe we need to look into your

14:06

internet search history, see if you're a sympathizer, maybe

14:08

you're funneling money. They'd be like,

14:10

Oh, this fucking retard. Wait, does

14:13

he do anything but look at build orders? How

14:16

do you mention it's a picture of a guy's

14:18

butt without mentioning the other guy's face clearly

14:20

pressed against his cock? That

14:23

was a big part of the image as well. Oh, I

14:26

see the naked images now. That's

14:28

hilarious. Well, like, I don't know

14:30

what your problem with this is. The

14:33

torture part? Which part of

14:35

it that is torturous? Who just defines

14:37

what torturous? I've been a couple of hot

14:39

cards. A little anti-sex here. Have

14:41

you ever been shackled in handcuffs? I'm coming off

14:43

looking liberal and I don't like it. Yeah, Taylor,

14:46

you look a little homophobic. Those two prisoners were

14:48

getting down and I'm counteracting

14:52

to liberalism. So the

14:54

picture that Taylor takes so much issue with is a

14:56

few of our country's enemies and they're being forced to

14:59

sit in a very embarrassing position. One on one on

15:01

his knees with his head and the other's crotch. Oh,

15:05

and they're all naked. Well

15:07

mostly naked. They have bags on their heads. Okay,

15:11

they're not completely unclothed. Yeah, I appreciate it.

15:13

I got your mask on. You're

15:16

pretty understanding with that that Russian mass shooter

15:18

the other week. You're like, Oh, he did

15:21

cut his ear off. It makes me sad.

15:23

They cut his ear off and they fed

15:25

it to him. Okay. We didn't cut people's

15:27

ears off and feed them to them in

15:29

Abu Ghraib. And

15:31

that's the other thing. Abu Ghraib was cool.

15:34

It was clearly a wild sex party. They're

15:36

all wearing masks. It's got eyes wide shut

15:38

vibes. This is it. I wish I was

15:40

an Abu Ghraib. You can't see Nicole Kidman,

15:42

but she's right off camera. Her

15:46

being there would change my take. Oh,

15:48

yeah, they got to meet with Nicole Kidman too. They're

15:51

all naked and masked up and performing sex

15:53

acts. This is a good weekend. I

15:56

mean, it looks like they're kind of doing what they did with

15:58

those El Salvadorian gang members. I'm

16:00

not into the dogs, but I mean if you

16:03

are that's cool. No, I mean, I those

16:05

dogs eat your face off I

16:07

drink I watched i've been watching true crime shit

16:09

and I saw it today This lady murdered her

16:12

two children so that she'd have more time to

16:14

fuck her dog True

16:17

that you're watching true crimes makes you

16:19

a little bit woman It's

16:21

I don't know what kind of day immediately i'm so

16:23

glad we're on the same page here No

16:26

straight man. I know watches true crime. That

16:28

is totally chick What is true crime?

16:30

Maybe I don't understand. Let me know I'm sure it's a lot

16:32

of fun you put your robe on and you sashay into the

16:35

kitchen to get your popcorn and then you Throw

16:39

your feet under you like that I

16:43

don't understand what what true crime what makes true.

16:45

So what i'm watching is, you know a Documentary

16:48

about a lady murdered her children is that

16:50

that's the gay part. Yeah. Yeah being You

16:53

know this true crime is like an

16:56

almost entirely female genre You

16:58

don't like watching like interrogation video. I

17:00

believe for it investigations like Like

17:03

oh and i'm more like the first gauge. Okay, you'll

17:05

get me on this the actual interrogation I went through

17:07

a phase a couple years ago where I found a

17:09

youtube channel that it was literally just like unedited

17:12

two three-hour videos or minimally

17:15

edited I want to have at least what

17:17

did you learn from watching the interrogations? I want to

17:19

hear if your take is the same as mine I

17:22

learned that There

17:25

is a huge gap between cops

17:28

detectives rather who are really really good

17:30

at this and ones that are really

17:32

really bad at it because Some

17:34

of the guys are so natural

17:36

and like comforting in their presence

17:39

that even watching it you're like,

17:41

man Maybe he is

17:43

really sympathizing with this like this

17:45

like they know he's a deviant like child or

17:47

something and he does such a good job of

17:49

being like They

17:52

got your burger and they got ketchup on you know what don't

17:54

don't even bother eating someone else actually went out to grab lunch

17:56

They're right. Yeah a few minutes ago. Let me get that we'll

17:58

get your right order is right

18:00

away from, from if to

18:02

why. I mean, it's like,

18:04

it's not if you did it. It's like, look,

18:07

man, when you talk about why you

18:09

did this, cause there was an accident

18:11

or maybe like she fell or maybe,

18:13

you know, you were defending yourself or

18:16

something like that. Things just got out

18:18

of hand. That's a different story, Mike.

18:20

That's a different story entirely. And it's

18:22

important at this early part that you

18:24

tell your story. Cause somebody else is

18:26

going to run around. They going to tell all kinds of

18:28

things, Mike. And right now what they saying, Mike

18:31

killed, Mike killed, go blood

18:33

it. And I don't believe that about you, Mike. I

18:35

don't, I look at you right now. I don't believe that while you

18:37

eat the French fries, like that

18:40

guy play, like he'll get your confession because Mike has

18:42

like loves to kill. I

18:48

know they're lying about you, Mike. Oh,

18:50

they're, they're, they're, uh, you're absolutely right. There's

18:52

a huge difference. And the YouTube channel that

18:55

I've been watching, he'll be like, he'll pause. And he'll

18:57

be like, for some reason, the

18:59

detectives decided to antagonize her at this point,

19:01

instead of a light, like building, probably

19:04

not a good idea. As you'll see in just a moment. Yeah.

19:07

I liked those little interjections. The tail

19:09

is right. There is a wide discrepancy

19:12

in like how much talent the detectives

19:14

have, but my takeaway was a little

19:16

different. It was shut up, Woody, because

19:18

like, I don't care how smart you are,

19:20

right? You're both very smart guys. But if you

19:22

entered a guitar playing competition

19:24

against someone who does this all

19:27

the time, you would get smashed.

19:29

Yeah. And while an interview is not

19:31

quite as fish out of the water, is my example.

19:35

You might not be, well, Kyle might

19:37

be, but Taylor and I are not

19:39

prepared to deal with like detectives asking

19:41

hard questions. Just quiet. I

19:44

mean, you know, that's, that's, I would, I

19:46

talked to them a good bit. Like when I got

19:48

arrested on the drug thing and until a point where

19:51

like they asked a question that mattered.

19:53

You know what I mean? Like I'm not retarded. You can't, you

19:56

were like, did you do it? Oh

19:58

no. That wasn't

20:00

going to happen by but if they start

20:02

getting into like details in for anything specific

20:04

the what's going on this life you know

20:07

I can thought about that. You have to

20:09

go to the lawyer that situation because. I.

20:11

Don't know what my defense gonna be here but. But

20:16

but no, I love those. This lady.

20:18

They. Had our facebook messages she's like message in

20:20

some dude and she sending dirty pictures of

20:22

her fucking the dog and stuff and she's

20:24

like yeah, I. Want to see you and

20:26

mean you in the dog and get on. But. Gotta.

20:29

Watch the button kids. And watched as

20:31

kids She hung her kids in the

20:33

basement. Ah. They. Mean

20:35

it seems like this was a pretty

20:38

cut and dry case. Rhino caught under

20:40

lock and Israel. Letter off. Forty minute

20:42

video. Forty minute video. They get onto

20:44

the stand. Rufus. Herbs

20:48

are written right or Elixir is

20:51

not. A guy holding like five

20:53

pairs of soiled panties like and

20:55

in medical problems holding them from

20:58

the other guy was super on.

21:00

This. Area of the youtube or at least the up

21:03

litter and he's like i if you wanna see me

21:05

as it is one of his youtube exerts you wanna

21:07

see me eat Poop. Alma. Diaper.

21:10

I. Want one million

21:12

subscribers? Assists: This is

21:14

a giant fat man and he was.

21:16

He's like during diaper fetish

21:19

stuff online and than. That

21:21

you can ask? Like that guy who's

21:23

poisoning his family. Ah, He has

21:26

given them laxatives and Epsom salt so they were all

21:28

shitting themselves and I think they got off on it.

21:30

Like. In his family is like old elderly

21:32

people and in the police detective interviews this

21:35

old man is must be like seventy five

21:37

is like. Where's. yes crap

21:39

for artefacts families with literally literally

21:41

saw myself and i don't i'm

21:43

an old man but you know

21:46

i could throw my bows and

21:48

we did a nice salsa always

21:50

tasted like castor oil isn't he

21:52

was putting it in their coffee

21:55

maker so that it would be

21:57

you know mass the flavor of

21:59

of of of employee I've been,

22:01

I've watched a bunch of them today. I watched one

22:03

where these three black chicks burnt another one alive, um,

22:06

with, um, all over a man. And

22:10

it's, it was so crazy. One

22:13

of them, there's a, there's a man and

22:16

a wife. Okay. And the

22:18

wife has three or four friends and

22:20

it turns out, unbeknownst to her, they're

22:23

all fucking her husband. Her husband's

22:25

fucking them all. And

22:28

but she finds out that one of them in

22:30

particular has fucked him. She doesn't know about any

22:32

others. So she gets the other

22:34

two, she gets, um, her other friend who's

22:36

been fucking him and her 16

22:38

year old daughter and they jumped the

22:40

other chick, taser, torturer, beat

22:43

her with a, uh, a crowbar, take her to

22:45

a field and set her on fire. And she

22:47

runs through the woods on fire, makes

22:50

it to a neighbor's house. And like

22:52

her last words before they put her under

22:54

morphine are Brittany,

22:56

Nicole, and Anna. Andrea.

22:59

And then they put her under the anesthesia and she dies. And

23:03

it was, they get

23:05

the guy in the interrogation

23:08

room and he's laid back

23:10

chilling. He's on his phone

23:12

with a different woman, completely

23:15

different woman. He's like, yeah,

23:17

he goes, yeah, I'm copacetic.

23:20

I'm laid back. Ain't even worried about

23:22

shit. I'll be out. Yeah. Yeah.

23:25

Yeah. I see. He's

23:28

got his big, like scary folder unfolded. He's got

23:31

that Trapper keeper, but like scary men on, he's

23:33

got that bitch out and he's like, looking

23:35

at him like, you bought down with your phone call. And he's like,

23:38

yeah, hang on now. Let

23:40

me get off the phone with you. They gonna

23:42

make me hang. And I'm like, dude, I'm, I'm,

23:44

I'm nervous for you. Hang up. Like,

23:47

I'm so polite about that. That I mean,

23:49

like, look, gotta let you go. Detective just

23:51

walked in. Like, that's how I

23:53

would have handled it. Right? Like,

23:56

he's laid back. And, and

23:58

the guys like, so. Heard

24:00

you're having sexual relations with Brittany

24:03

Nicole Andrea and is It

24:06

was that your sugar, baby. He's like nah.

24:08

Nah, that's my kitten. He's got like stupid

24:10

pet names from all there's some shit He's

24:12

like, yeah, that's my that's old mama right

24:14

there. He's like well who you got on

24:16

the phone He's like, oh, that's something else

24:18

right there That's something else and

24:20

the cops are like you said they're playing along

24:22

with he's like how you do that You must

24:24

be slick with it cuz like me and Dave

24:26

here We lose our boats our houses and our

24:28

cars if we tried to pull that shit And

24:30

he's like y'all just doing my thing and it

24:33

was like, oh my god This is he was

24:35

the only innocent one. He had nothing to do

24:37

with burning that poor woman alive He was just

24:39

fucking everybody in the whole trailer part. I don't

24:41

know if innocence the first word I'd pick innocent

24:45

of murder Very related.

24:47

He's on death row and in Florida

24:49

right now the the one who

24:51

did that stuff. Yeah, those are Santas

24:56

This um, I heard isn't abortion going

24:58

on the ballot in some manner down

25:00

in Florida. So it is. Yeah Yeah,

25:02

so Florida has some of the tightest

25:06

abortion laws and they're

25:08

gonna put it and see if I Think

25:11

that I think maybe the Supreme Court the flirty

25:14

and Supreme Court Just ruled

25:16

in favor of it. There's a the

25:18

state Constitution has a right to privacy

25:20

Which is sometimes used as an abortion

25:22

defense like to make it legal and

25:24

that didn't work so now they're putting

25:27

it on the ballot and Democrats

25:29

feel like this might put Florida in

25:31

play because even in a conservative state

25:34

like Florida Abortion is

25:36

unpopular. So while people might not come

25:38

out to vote for Joe Biden They're

25:41

likely to come out and vote for abortion

25:43

and that's a hit on Trump But

25:45

I think Trump just wins the state by less Yeah,

25:48

I agree with you there because I think

25:51

nationally like in just an just

25:53

a flat poll abortions only Ahead

25:56

by like two points. It's like 52, you know, I

25:58

think like 52 I thought it was way higher, but

26:01

I'm not sure. I'll Google it. It could have changed. I saw

26:03

a graph today. It wasn't – the

26:05

graph wasn't about abortion. It was about a different issue, but

26:07

I just took note of abortion while I was looking at

26:09

the graph. So it's possible it's a bit outdated,

26:12

but I saw 52. Yeah.

26:14

It's closer than you'd be led to believe. I

26:16

think a lot of conservative women are just not

26:18

down. So I just –

26:22

conservative women are not both at all. This

26:24

is Gallup. This is Gallup,

26:27

who I consider to be pretty good. Pro-choice is 52, like Kyle

26:29

said, but pro-life is 44. It's not 48. So that's an eight-point gap.

26:42

Well, surely there's like some undecideds in there or

26:44

some people who have a couple of different viewpoint

26:46

on it. No opinion was 4%. I can't explain

26:48

the other four. Yeah.

26:52

There's just no opinion at all. That's so weird, you mean. How

26:55

do you know – I have opinion about things that have nothing

26:57

to do with me and never will. Oh, I make a point.

27:00

Strong opinions that I can go on and pontificate about for hours.

27:02

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Nothing

27:06

to do with me. I hold

27:08

strong opinions, and then afterward –

27:10

Aide back to complete indifference. Yeah.

27:15

And on WhatsApp, Taylor and I like

27:17

to go back and forth about historical

27:19

events and tragedies and such,

27:21

and I sent him this image of white

27:24

people throwing slaves overboard a slave ship. And I

27:27

said, did you know that they

27:29

would throw sick and dying slaves

27:31

overboard to drown because the insurance

27:33

covered drowned slaves, but

27:35

it did not cover slaves who

27:37

were sick or died after they

27:39

arrived for other illnesses? And

27:41

Taylor takes about two seconds to

27:43

say, you ever wonder

27:46

why the slave auctions were closed on Saturdays?

27:48

And I went, gotta go! It

27:53

was a good line. It was a good joke. I don't get

27:56

it. It would carry me through this. Type

27:58

it, Taylor. Don't say it. We'll

28:01

readdress that one on a later date.

28:03

The fourth hour one. Took

28:06

me a

28:08

minute. Took me

28:10

a minute. I like

28:13

our little X-rated chats. I

28:18

didn't think we said anything bad. I

28:21

learned that fact and it was just

28:24

like, man. I did my genealogy the other

28:26

day and I found out that I was .06% Sub-Saharan

28:28

African, my brothers.

28:33

I wanted to learn more about the injustices

28:35

that my people had suffered. I'm

28:39

going to tell you right now, I'd

28:42

never supported reparations until I read that

28:44

report that in my Gmail the

28:47

other day and now full-throatedly. It

28:50

would seem like you'd have to pay out like 99.4% and receive the .6%.

28:55

That's an absurd viewpoint, Woody. I can

28:57

only expect a white man to take

28:59

such a viewpoint. This

29:02

idea of

29:04

divvying up someone's life. What

29:08

percentage of you is black? What percentage is

29:10

white? You're just so obsessed with race as

29:12

a white. You can't stop talking about it.

29:14

Can't stop talking about it. You're just obsessed

29:16

with it. I don't care. We're at

29:18

one bed. No, I've

29:22

also been looking at the swords. I did enough

29:24

research. I found like the sword website. Would you

29:26

please get a sword or two? Be a sword

29:28

guy, man. Kyle, you're taking too long to buy

29:30

a sword as if you're limiting yourself to just

29:32

one. Now we're down to two or three. If

29:35

I'm being honest, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt myself with a

29:37

sword because I know I'm going to play with it. The

29:40

website I was looking at has

29:42

swords that are meant for competition

29:44

chopping, like cutting through

29:46

whatever that media is, like bamboo

29:48

or whatever the fuck they do. It's like this

29:50

sword. Water bottles. It's like a real

29:52

deal. Well, no, they do a thing. I

29:55

know what I've seen the Japanese guys do

29:57

where they've got... Oh yeah, they have like

29:59

a... a slanted it's like

30:01

rolled up fucking bamboo or reeds or

30:03

something anyway They've got like a target

30:05

and like a perfect they show that

30:08

if somebody if you're not good with

30:10

the Katana You can't chop through

30:12

all of that shit But if you're really good with

30:14

it in one slash you can I want to see

30:16

that and I want to experience it because I have

30:18

Seen the same sort of things you have right which

30:20

is like look at this Katana master He

30:23

can swing a sword look at this idiot

30:25

and it's like a fully athletic guy who

30:27

doesn't do as well And I'm

30:29

like, what is the trick? Do you

30:32

need to like? Slice instead

30:34

of chop, you know Maybe add a little

30:36

forward to aft movement on the gotta be

30:38

technique because you and angle just clips of

30:40

because if the blade isn't like Oh,

30:43

yeah perfectly aligned and at the the

30:46

way you're Fighting if you if you

30:48

twist the blade even slightly then you

30:50

lose all of that Imagine cutting a

30:52

tomato with a non serrated edge, right?

30:54

If you just pressed straight down on

30:56

it, you might smush it But

30:58

if you gave it a little slide while you

31:00

cut it that tomato would slice Yeah,

31:03

and I think there might be something

31:06

there and sword plate They're like pulling

31:08

as they're yeah as they're slicing because

31:10

you it's definitely technique Because there are

31:12

YouTube videos of guys doing that to

31:14

like seven of those reed

31:16

bundles. Mm-hmm What do you call a

31:19

bundle sticks? And

31:26

then they cut through them all and

31:29

they're just using a knife and yet

31:31

they're doing like eight of them in a row Yeah,

31:34

really a knife competitions are amongst

31:36

my favorite like sometimes they're a

31:38

little bit like cleavers and You

31:41

know, so the first they like sliced tomatoes

31:44

paper thin then they cut a rope then

31:46

they cut a brick then maybe slice some

31:48

More tomatoes, you know, like goddamn. That's a

31:50

good knife Mm-hmm. Yeah

31:53

become a sword guy man, and you're not gonna hurt yourself

31:56

Like just don't be dumb and you won't

31:58

hurt yourself. And if you Do you

32:00

have two eyes already? How many? Yeah, I'm worried

32:02

about like you do I'm worried about over swinging

32:04

and like Slice

32:08

of my femoral artery and bleeding out before I

32:10

can even get to my phone Dude,

32:13

if I if that if I was like if I

32:15

was staying over at your house And

32:17

like I woke up late morning and I walk

32:20

out and you're dead from like a sword accident.

32:23

I am hiding your body I'm

32:26

making up a story for you. This is because

32:28

I care about you I would not let your

32:30

legacy be that you killed yourself with a sword

32:32

in your yard. I'd frame someone I would do

32:34

something to say it was a duel. They were

32:36

such a good friend. I'm over everything out his

32:39

browser history and tweeting I'm

32:42

like, I'm letting it up. I just called this on an

32:44

empty stomach Say

32:51

I was dueling someone over honor Yeah,

32:54

I was something like that. Hide your body because

32:56

I would not wouldn't let that be

32:58

your legacy Yeah, oh just keep the dogs in

33:00

the house. If you keep the dogs in the house There's

33:03

no way you accidentally cut yourself gruesomely

33:05

with a sword. How so? Well,

33:09

like what tell me the kind of moves you're imagining like

33:11

do I I don't know Maybe I've got some sort

33:13

of target set up and I go to hit it But

33:15

I've never swung a fucking sword before and I like Lose

33:18

my balance a little and like swing all the way through and hit

33:20

myself in the knee Or the the

33:22

the fucking foot or the shin or something like

33:24

that But I didn't hit myself with a stick

33:27

or like an axe that'll you know If you've

33:29

ever been chopping wood sometimes you bump yourself and

33:31

it'll kind of It'll bounce

33:33

off It can slice a couple

33:35

tendons on the top of your foot i'm saying that

33:37

can happen It's a pretty

33:40

traumatic experience But

33:43

but unfortunately i've got

33:45

like a competition slicing falchion You

33:52

have some coordination I have a

33:54

sword. Yeah, um, but so yeah,

33:56

i'm a little worried about that. But but I

33:58

did say lchi I'm

34:01

almost positive that it is that yes, it

34:03

was god tell you fucking suck. Oh This

34:08

looks like a pirate sword yar Yeah

34:12

Yeah, it would be no I wouldn't if

34:14

you're gonna lean in don't start with like

34:16

a pirate sword start with like

34:18

a What's the

34:20

most basic kind of sword you can think well my well

34:23

it would be glad you sword So I also thought that

34:25

it would be smart to get a sword that makes a

34:28

good accessory to a Halloween costume Cuz

34:31

like like maybe I could be a Roman soldier

34:33

one year and we'll be there Kyle's got a Roman

34:35

gladdius and the thing would be to walk

34:37

anywhere you want wearing wearing a real

34:39

gladius and nobody would say boot Cuz

34:41

it's Halloween. Yeah, that's it. Okay, then

34:44

gladdius is clearly the right move the

34:46

good good gladdius is like 250 to 350 dollars I

34:51

Say that's a reasonable price. I

34:53

mean I've never looked at the market for

34:55

swords outside well minutes Well, I guess it

34:57

is I'll get that thing ordered up get

34:59

it with like a like a jewel on

35:01

the pommel like something So

35:03

I don't know the cool looking on it That

35:06

would be neat like this one This one

35:08

has a little eagle or something down there

35:10

at the bottom on the crest kind of

35:12

get a little amber Glilla with a bug

35:14

in it Yeah,

35:17

is that an Aquila? Aquila it's

35:19

I know it's a little cute, but I think you pronounce

35:21

it the G I'm gonna

35:23

write willa. I was like get a

35:25

fucking sword. This is the site. I would use it's

35:27

I Got

35:30

a little lost is an Aquila the name

35:32

of the picture on that circle or the

35:34

circle It's just that wrong. It's just that

35:36

eagle that's facing One

35:38

direction it's it that's an Aquila Yeah,

35:41

I think it's G, but it could be key I

35:43

know they're spelled with a key, but I think it's

35:45

pronounced with the G could be wrong This is a

35:48

website that I've been recommended to get like a real

35:50

deal sword. They also have armor and shield and LARPing

35:54

weapons and gear so you

35:56

can get war hammers. Yeah, Kyle. I feel like you're

35:58

half-assing this with no arm You know, you're right.

36:01

You're right. That guy's gonna be kind

36:03

of hard over there in that armor.

36:05

Look at him. He has a whole

36:08

subsection for Asian pole arms. That's

36:11

pretty sweet. The Naginata. That's

36:14

what that lady in Shogun was

36:17

practicing with. Yeah. 50 bucks. This

36:20

is... That

36:22

lady's been attractive. I'm super into... This

36:24

is the Merry Chick? Yeah,

36:27

the translated Shogun. The translated Shogun. Super

36:29

attractive. The most recent episode

36:31

was really good. There was a

36:34

part where the

36:36

guy's trying to sort of teach our

36:39

white Englishman how to use a fucking

36:41

katana. And I liked

36:43

that he didn't have any skill whatsoever.

36:46

Yeah, I'm glad that too. So if

36:49

you're not watching Shogun at all to the listeners, there

36:52

is this white guy who sails

36:54

to Japan. And

36:56

along the way he bumps into this

36:59

samurai and the two are kind of

37:01

natural combatant enemies. They don't like each

37:03

other. They're for enemies, I feel like. Okay,

37:05

okay. Early in the show, it made it

37:08

seem like they might fight and it wasn't

37:10

clear to me who would win. As

37:13

the show progressed, clearly the guy

37:15

who's made a living hand-to-hand combat is

37:17

head and shoulders better at

37:19

hand-to-hand combat. And I liked that they did that

37:21

because even though he's the star of the show,

37:24

that doesn't mean that he can beat up everyone like

37:26

he's fucking William Shatner. He

37:29

tried to hold the sword the way

37:31

you'd hold like a

37:33

pirate sword at first, like a fencing, like a rapier

37:36

or something. Like he went to hold it like

37:38

that. One-handed leaning forward. Yeah,

37:40

one-handed. Really, it was like, oh, he doesn't

37:42

know the way of the samurai. Yes,

37:45

yeah, he tried to hold the sword one-handed and

37:48

the guy's like two and then didn't even do

37:50

two wrong at first. I forget. Yeah,

37:52

I thought it was a little mean. The

37:56

English guy didn't bully them for

37:59

having terrible Oh, that'd

38:01

be great if you just walked up like hold pick up your gun

38:08

You've got to shoot me first before Reloading

38:11

the whole time see even now you should do you should

38:13

be shooting me but clearly you're not because you don't know

38:16

how this game works Suck

38:22

is that why we're winning Yeah,

38:25

I'm looking forward to the if there's

38:28

not a scene in this show We have three episodes

38:30

left where somebody talks mad

38:32

shit And then our English gentleman

38:34

pulls an Indiana Jones and just

38:36

goes bang and shoot somebody

38:38

I'm gonna be disappointed I'm gonna be

38:40

really disappointed if that doesn't happen I

38:43

need that moment to happen because these

38:45

people are so fucking stuck up their

38:47

own asses with their crazy Japanese bushido

38:50

That it's infuriating at times It's

38:53

Japanese fuel sort of be that I'm not

38:55

feudalism, but what's the

38:57

chivalry? This like their version of chivalry? I

39:01

were there over the top of their

39:03

rituals and manners like like our

39:06

society is polite and and we Maybe

39:10

follow the rules by without even thinking

39:12

twice about it But their society is

39:15

really another level just the amount of

39:17

rules that you need to follow and

39:19

yeah Consequences are just absurd

39:21

like there's only one consequence Everything

39:25

oh, did you yourself remove a

39:27

dead bird from a string death?

39:30

Did you steal anything? Like

39:35

everything death what there's also death

39:37

yes, yes believe

39:39

it or not also death Life

39:45

in prison surprise surprise Most

39:50

recent episode I felt like

39:52

the plot didn't move a ton it did

39:54

significant things happened But I

39:57

can tell you what happened in the last episode in

39:59

nine seconds, and if that's true. Did not

40:01

a lot not enough happened.

40:03

I felt like the last episode I

40:05

still I

40:08

don't know if our main guy I

40:10

think so much of our main character

40:12

the Japanese guy like, nor what's his

40:14

name? Naga, raga,

40:16

or whatever he is. I'm

40:18

struggling. But I think so

40:20

much of him strategically. And then he

40:22

had that conversation with the with the

40:24

prostitute lady. And I'm like, does

40:27

our guy have some aces up his sleeve?

40:29

Or is he really at his wit's end?

40:31

Because he's so smart. And the

40:33

way the show works. There's

40:35

no sort of time where he winks at the

40:38

camera and goes, don't worry, we got this. And

40:40

they sort of talk about how the Japanese people

40:42

have multiple hearts, like one you show to the

40:44

world and maybe one you show your friends and

40:47

one you don't show anyone these different sides

40:49

of yourself. And it

40:51

seems like we never get to see

40:53

him revealing any of his other hearts

40:55

to anybody. He just everything's on

40:58

the inside. So I don't know if he's

41:00

worried or not. I can't tell if he

41:02

doesn't have like, so I'm sorry to cut

41:04

you off. But the guy that you're talking

41:06

about the main leader. Yeah, the

41:08

way that he operates nobody is a

41:10

trusted ally. Like not even his

41:12

children really, his children are maybe a little

41:15

incompetent. And that's why. But his

41:17

brother like nobody, no one in

41:19

this whole world, does he consider

41:21

trustworthy? And he's been

41:24

working for him like he's kind of man

41:26

maybe and I love that moment from from

41:28

this episode. It's he planned to watch

41:30

it. This is a tiny bit of a spoiler.

41:33

But but at the beginning of the episode, it's

41:35

a flashback to when the Japanese guy was 12.

41:37

And he won this great battle. And

41:40

the the enemy bows to him. And

41:42

then he's going to disembowel himself. And the

41:44

way they they do that, you

41:47

have a second, which means you have a

41:49

guy there with a sword, he's going to lop

41:51

your head off after you have ritualistically disemboweled yourself

41:53

to fulfill honor. You know, so

41:55

you don't have no need to continue suffering and like

41:57

died two days later. And This

42:00

guy bows to our 12 year old you

42:02

beat me it's over gets on his knees

42:04

goes to gut himself and his Like main

42:07

homie like steps out like I got you

42:09

boss. He's like no no no I

42:12

want the the new warlord to be my

42:14

second and and then it cuts and

42:16

at the very end of the episode like That

42:18

story comes back up and he's like And

42:22

I made a mess at that the other guys like

42:24

yeah 12 hits before you got that fucking head It

42:27

was awful who chooses a child to be

42:29

their second, right? That

42:32

was the best line earlier

42:34

in the episode they told the retold

42:36

the story as if he chopped the head with one

42:38

shit at one try and The

42:41

guy who took 12 tries just let that

42:43

version of it You know

42:45

go out in public, but when

42:47

private rolled around is what Kyle said

42:50

I mean a man fucking fries. Yeah, really

42:52

should have picked a child to do that.

42:54

Yeah, I'll say this what? The

42:57

plot didn't move significantly But but

42:59

I I felt like I learned a bit

43:02

about our the Japanese guy just watching him

43:04

sort of deal with maybe the potential That

43:06

he's lost and and watching him

43:08

mull over that problem But I won't

43:10

spoil the end of the episode because I promise

43:13

you guys if you're not watching this show, it's really worth watching I

43:17

My jaw dropped in the last like

43:19

30 seconds of that episode

43:22

a character dies and it's like

43:25

holy fucking shit I haven't felt like

43:27

this since Game of Thrones I think that

43:30

not just the surprise that someone died

43:32

but how it happened was so like

43:34

at a left field It

43:36

was bizarre and a little funny and

43:38

just fucked up. He didn't

43:40

die a real hero's death And

43:43

I like that I like that he

43:45

didn't die a superhero's death and I liked that

43:47

a noteworthy character It's not like a main main

43:50

character, but a noteworthy character dies and

43:52

I like that in every show It's one of the reasons I

43:54

hung on to Walking Dead as long as I did to the

43:56

end Because no one's safe in the

43:58

Walking Dead. They really do Kill people Rick for

44:01

all intents and purposes died Every

44:03

hard pretty much everyone from season one didn't make

44:05

it to the end except for Daryl and Carol

44:09

so yeah invincible if you're watching that

44:12

cartoon a significant person dies in it

44:14

and As

44:16

far as I know they mostly come back, but

44:19

I like it when they kill people Yeah,

44:21

the are you current on invincible? No,

44:24

maybe two down something You don't watch do you watch

44:26

that show or you do I know I haven't seen

44:28

any of it So I

44:30

know you don't like the superhero stuff,

44:32

but what a superhero cartoon was that

44:34

yeah This

44:38

this doesn't somehow like that less It's

44:43

very good It's very popular and

44:46

not just amongst the the

44:48

standard superhero like just

44:50

watch it It's a superhero thing kind of

44:52

thing. It's its own different universe. It's very

44:54

interesting And it's it's some

44:57

of the best Animation

44:59

I've ever seen as far as the the way

45:01

that I really like What's

45:04

the All-state insurance

45:07

guy is yeah, the main. Yeah, JK

45:09

Simmons is Omni man. Yes. All right.

45:11

There we go I know about it

45:13

He's kind of the main character or

45:15

at least the main characters dad and

45:17

a big part of the show It's

45:20

real good. I like it a lot. I'm I Spoiler

45:23

on that but who cares

45:25

Mark's getting rid of his black girlfriend and I'm

45:27

psyched Waiting on mark to get rid of

45:29

black girl for now. I'll never watch Oh,

45:31

I can't wait for him to get with

45:33

the she has been a near perfect girlfriend

45:36

but she's not a superhero and Just

45:40

makes it it almost seems like dude.

45:42

You should be dating a hot superhero and there's one

45:44

there that you're you're shipping them with Yeah,

45:46

she's fucking hot the

45:48

Adam Eve chicks like super super

45:50

hot redhead superhero chick who's Single

45:53

and ready to mingle. Yeah and

45:56

her like superhero costume is I

45:59

don't know yoga shorts and a

46:01

crop top or something. I

46:03

think it's just like a

46:05

one piece bathing suit basically. I

46:08

don't remember it. She's got a

46:10

significant Mons pubis in every scene.

46:12

You say that and that's what actually got me to

46:14

watch the show to begin with and I was like

46:17

what is what he talking about? I am not seeing

46:19

it. Can you pull up a picture Zach of? Adam

46:21

Eve. Is it Adam? I

46:23

thought it was Eve. It might be Adam Eve. It

46:27

is. Okay, it is

46:29

Kalmos from invincible and try to make

46:31

me look smart. Find

46:33

one with a significant. Any picture. Pick

46:35

10 fucking random pictures and find me one where

46:37

she's got a fat pussy. Like

46:40

X-Men back in the day that that

46:42

cartoon was drawn for the

46:44

young man who was for the young boy

46:46

who was becoming a man. Jean

46:49

Grey's titties were hanging out on either

46:51

side of her like you could see

46:53

him from behind. Awesome.

46:56

All the chicks had camel toes. All the

46:59

chicks were sexy and flirty. Okay.

47:02

Meanwhile, this is what you

47:04

guys are all on about. This is what he's on

47:06

about. First of all. This is not from the show.

47:09

Yeah, this is like saying this might be from the

47:11

show. Yeah, this is from the show. Anyway,

47:15

this is a cartoon lady. Not even any clear. It's a

47:17

cartoon lady. I just don't use anything special about her pussy.

47:19

I think it's very attractive lady. I

47:21

like her powers too. That'd be neat. I

47:23

noticed that fucking hump lump every time she's

47:25

on screen. Hump lump. Yeah, I

47:27

made that up. It's good. I felt like

47:29

a hump lump tailor. Oh, is that a subreddit? Try that out on

47:32

a woman. They love it. I love it. It's

47:34

a hump lump. That's what I'm calling it going forward. I

47:38

love it. Wait,

47:40

what did you say? Hump lump? Yeah.

47:43

Hump. Is that original thought? I thought

47:45

it was. I hope it's not. You

47:49

can start a whole community of fucking weirdos. Jack

47:51

isn't. My cool fucking

47:53

Arabic burger joint. I came up with the

47:55

idea for the other day. Already

47:58

had several investors. Already taken. You

48:01

can invest you can get in on the ground level.

48:03

Yeah, I'm not seeing any home You Google

48:05

hump lump you just get the back of

48:07

men's necks. That's an original thought there That's

48:09

that's worse than what you were black men

48:12

is it specifically black men? It wasn't it

48:14

was people who keep their head a little

48:16

too forward I didn't grow up

48:18

a lot of black people and I remember

48:20

we were at a like a sizzler one time like

48:22

a Classy I know and and we

48:25

were in we were in line and there was

48:27

a fat black man in line in

48:29

front of us And he had that thing on the

48:31

back of his neck That's like the multiple lumps like

48:33

those little rolls of fat on the back of his

48:35

neck and like nine-year-old me

48:38

Was like a ninja turtle

48:40

like what the fuck? I

48:43

remember being so like I'd never

48:45

seen that on a human being before And

48:48

it doesn't seem like that's because he was black It

48:50

seems like it's cuz he was fat and

48:52

you have a black childhood of not too many

48:54

fat people I mean not too

48:56

many fat people there were some fatties around So

49:00

you ever you know like you ever

49:02

see those old video like any time I

49:04

see old video footage now of

49:06

like any time pre 90s the thing

49:08

that jumps out at me immediately is

49:10

like Every like

49:13

the the lack of fat people compared

49:15

to now it's insane It's

49:18

wild the difference is

49:20

that Vincent an offer you Know He

49:27

does I was watching this

49:29

guy later I'm

49:32

DB link he he was in a movie called

49:34

the wanderers. I don't know if you guys know

49:36

that 1970s movie No,

49:39

it's like from before my time But

49:42

I saw it when I was a little kid

49:44

and it was super scary to me. He was

49:46

dynamo in the running man I know this guy.

49:48

Oh, okay. Yeah, he has what you're talking about

49:50

on his neck I mean even though that's

49:53

a good movie that that movie is is needs

49:55

a remake the

49:57

running man The

50:00

bad movie so they should make a good

50:02

one. this time they didn't lot less a

50:04

good movies make bad sequels are bad remakes

50:06

this big dick bad movies and make good

50:08

remakes they don't have already so low and

50:11

get you to breathe me. Judge

50:13

Dread. Yeah. Of course that

50:15

that was. You know, That. There's

50:17

like one on the Jets dread thing. The had

50:19

Rob Schneider as the comedic relief to Sylvester Stallone,

50:21

who is so vain that he took the helmet

50:23

off thirty seconds into the movie. So to him

50:25

out of a shit show from the start. I

50:29

earnest salon for that. We.

50:32

Seen him. Yeah. Think.

50:34

Things Like things like that. Very seriously. They were.

50:38

Well see I would see been good in

50:40

rather than rocking. Eve told me. Okay,

50:42

so Rocky One and two legitimate good movies.

50:45

One won the Oscar. He

50:47

be wrote one as well. I think

50:49

maybe screenplays what it one for. Ah,

50:52

Cliff Hanger if you're like action movies

50:54

is probably. One. Of my favorites

50:56

it is. It's Bases Mountain Rescue. And

50:58

he's there are terrorists who have robbed a money

51:00

plane and the planes crashed on top of a

51:03

mountain and so they do have a Pulse Rescue

51:05

com and when he gets up there they force

51:07

him to look for the. The. Money

51:09

bags their sprinkled around the mountain tops, that

51:11

trackers and them the whole cat mouse thing.

51:14

It's very good action movie. That.

51:17

Is that? Oh no, this isn't me.

51:20

The other this other great. still. I'm a

51:22

stopper. My mom will sue. Okay,

51:24

do you know the story behind our I

51:26

Like, That's the one source they get. Tricked

51:29

him into taking someone specific. Arnold Schwarzenegger has

51:31

been, didn't didn't one over on Stallone every

51:33

step of the way. for like forty years

51:35

or something. they were huge competitors. They were

51:37

always going for the same scripts and things

51:39

like that. and what's alone had been doing

51:41

is that whenever he saw Arnold was interested

51:43

in the and script he would swoop in

51:45

and try to take eat under. Caught him

51:47

if he could. Allow you gets alone

51:50

for twenty million or Arnold for twenty

51:52

twenty five I come on as these

51:54

decisions. and out so arnold set up

51:56

fake feelers that he wanted staff or my mom

51:58

was she hated it And

52:01

Stallone swoops in and takes this awful

52:03

fucking movie where a cop is partnered

52:06

with an old lady His

52:09

mom on the other hand

52:11

like they it probably wasn't that long after Turner

52:13

and Hooch that Tom Hanks movie where he's got

52:15

the st Bernard police partner

52:17

great. It's a real sweet movie

52:21

Now put that on the list dog get

52:23

shot at the end. No, I'll take

52:25

it off a list. There you go. Yeah, he

52:27

lives Yeah Made

52:30

in the maybe pile he saves Tom Hanks at

52:32

the end Tom Hanks about to die in the

52:34

back off bullet for him back off The list

52:36

yeah Tom Hanks isn't

52:38

in a ton of stuff anymore that I've

52:40

seen he works constantly like every year He's

52:43

yeah, he ruined that freaking pilot

52:45

movie on Apple I'm so distant from movies

52:47

like I this you don't see this guy

52:49

much anymore You're like you're both immediately like

52:51

he works constantly like like

52:54

he sees I want to

52:56

call it a few good men, but that's not what it's called Kyle

52:58

always reminds me every Masters of the

53:00

sky. Thank you. You're close I

53:04

got zero words out of words though you use

53:06

real words You

53:10

didn't go I'm

53:17

getting better. I'm not

53:19

using sounds and clapping Yeah

53:29

Damn well, I need to expand my

53:31

movie knowledge of him then I've

53:33

spent so much time playing that fucking

53:36

Age of Empires game from decades gone

53:38

by You're missing

53:40

out on all sorts of quality entertainment. I'm

53:43

watching the important stuff. I'm watching Shogun

53:45

Shogun and what else? You

53:49

might have me because it's mostly you

53:52

I bet if I looked at

53:54

your history, it's nothing but fucking

53:57

Era or some other fucking

53:59

line Hero and Viper

54:02

and and I've also been watching some

54:05

Fallen back into Magic the Gathering Arena.

54:08

So a little bit of that guy I remember

54:10

when we got into that years ago Kyle that

54:13

guy's channel covert go blue. He's really

54:15

really good at the game He's fun

54:17

to watch play cuz like he's genuinely

54:19

very knowledgeable the game And so he'll

54:22

just but like his

54:24

whole aura is like I'm the best of

54:26

the best at this And you're a stupid

54:28

retard and you know like legitimately sometimes will

54:31

be the number one guy gay, right? Wait,

54:34

I have no idea that he didn't

54:36

jump out as gay to me. He

54:38

jumps out as sassy to me He's

54:40

definitely like he he's so sassy I

54:43

would have to watch his videos and I it seems

54:46

little me I watched tons of them I've watched a

54:48

lot of this man's conduct because they're good videos. I'm

54:50

like, yeah, I do want to learn your liquid blue

54:52

slick deck I want to learn how it works. Show

54:54

me the fucking uh The gizmo

54:57

so me how it works, but I am

54:59

just suffering through him. Oh Like

55:01

being all sassy and and and

55:03

and caddy like that's how I would describe

55:05

him Yeah, grown-ass man teaching me Magic the

55:07

Gathering my I'm don't imagine gathering

55:10

Magic the Gathering is like fucking

55:14

Like a pyramid scheme. It's like fucking am

55:16

way or fucking Tupperware or something. It's like

55:21

We all have Tupperware well,

55:23

I've got my mom's old Tupperware That's

55:26

the old set we're playing

55:29

modern modern Tupperware only Okay,

55:32

how much is to get in hundred

55:34

dollars? $100

55:37

for one one competitive set of Tupperware

55:40

and you one bowl Now you're

55:42

sitting there with everybody else with your one

55:44

bowl and you realize that your problem is

55:46

you can't play Standard or those new formats

55:49

like I'm jumping back into it now having

55:51

fun Just casually playing some games at night

55:54

occasionally, and I just play

55:56

historic so like any card that's ever

55:58

been released is You can do

56:00

it like all the decks. I made two three years

56:03

ago are still Ready

56:05

to go you hop right on there and play them

56:08

But you're right if you try and keep up with

56:10

like magic standard like it's like you

56:12

need a good job To

56:14

not notice the amount of money you're spending on

56:16

that shit. Yeah. Yeah,

56:18

it gets into the thousands I mean just it's

56:21

a very fun game though. It's so fun. I'm

56:23

not going back to that No, you don't have to go back

56:26

you should get it up I wish you would get into

56:28

like poker like like learning. There's

56:30

no wizard over magic. There's no bows

56:32

and arrows There's kings and queens and

56:35

Jack Can

56:38

you play with the jokers we will

56:40

play with the jokers if you'll play I

56:43

promise you if you agreed to play poker with the boys

56:45

they'd be like yeah, okay If

56:47

I lost the amount of money, you know, you'd be playing

56:49

you go. Hey, uh Sevens

56:52

wild right everybody like yeah

56:57

I play three sevens which allows me to

57:00

use additional cards from a deck. I brought

57:02

from home I now have

57:04

five sevens the ultimate hand

57:07

and a reverse card from Uno in

57:09

reverse card I bought this online for

57:11

six hundred dollars. It's the ultimate ace

57:15

The most fun I have in there is probably code names

57:17

and then after that It's when we play like probably

57:20

community games like Monopoly and shit like that Well

57:23

code names is great. It's just a classic awesome

57:25

game. Oh smash so hard at code names this

57:27

week That was fun. That was that was that

57:29

was good times. I was I

57:32

had a good run of Code

57:34

names in our hangout this week. I

57:36

won eight and one. Yeah, I was something similar

57:38

to that I don't know what it was exactly

57:41

I lost a few but it was some of those

57:43

few were the ones when we're all like hey what?

57:46

What happened? Yeah, I

57:49

lost one where like someone on

57:51

our team hit and guessing Like

57:53

we were not done guessing. Maybe we didn't even

57:55

guess that it happened in a

57:58

previous game and my team just hit and

58:00

guessing so that you could resume where you were and

58:02

everything was cool. Then it happened

58:04

against me and fish was just like, you

58:06

want that one though. I think I think

58:08

he wanted to having that disadvantage because that's

58:11

the one we came back. That was our 28 to

58:13

three. Remember I called it. Call

58:15

it like any Bruce pointing over there. Cause me and Woody

58:17

were on the same team there. Woody and

58:19

I were both on the red team for the first

58:21

six games of the day. And we were six to

58:23

know that we both won so much. Think of that

58:25

way. You will. You know, the ultimate team. Some

58:29

people say the best pairing in codenames history. People

58:32

are saying that people are. People say that. I hear people

58:34

come up to me all the time. They come up to

58:36

me all the time. They look at me, they say, you're

58:38

so good at words. The best at words. They say Donald,

58:40

how do I get better at words? So

58:43

you're born with it or you're not. Man,

58:47

I'd love to see all of

58:49

our presidential candidates have to play just

58:51

two rounds of code names. That

58:54

would be so telling to me. They

58:56

had like voter confidence polls beforehand and

58:58

then afterward, it'd be like, Oh geez,

59:00

I don't know. He couldn't connect airplane

59:02

and, and you

59:06

know, all jokes aside, if I, if, if

59:08

the candidates played a couple of games,

59:10

just forget your cabinet, that'll be your team. Like, like,

59:12

like Biden gets your cabinet together. Uh, you

59:15

can have the joint chiefs or whatever and like one of

59:17

them and you can have your secretary of state and Buddha

59:20

judge, you want to come in here? Yeah. Transport. Should you be

59:22

getting that bit bridge fixed? No, come on, I'll play some code

59:24

names with us. Like, like against

59:26

Trump and his, and his like scandalous group

59:29

of shit heads. He'd do it. He'd bring,

59:31

he'd bring like, like Ken Jennings or

59:33

something. He

59:36

would have a fucking good conversation

59:38

on the side and smash everybody.

59:42

There's cheating on all sides of that would

59:44

tell me more about like how with it

59:46

they were and how smart they were than

59:48

any debate. Those debates are so nonsense and

59:50

I still stand behind like thinking there will

59:52

not be any presidential debates. I haven't done

59:54

that in a while. Like would you like

59:56

trivia instead of debates? Cause they're never going

59:58

to make them debate. Not even, I mean, I guess

1:00:01

trivia by definition, not important stuff, but just stuff to show they're still

1:00:03

with it. Well, if you

1:00:05

ask them the price of bread, that's that classic, gotcha. It's like,

1:00:07

$2 or $3? It varies. But if they say $12, if they're that out

1:00:09

of it, I don't know if that matters. It

1:00:19

just sort of suggests that their lifestyle is very nice, you

1:00:21

know? They never even come close to the price of bread

1:00:23

anywhere on a receipt or anything like

1:00:25

that. But it doesn't

1:00:27

mean that they're not with it. They don't think

1:00:29

it's $19.70 or $21.70 or whenever bread should be $12, they just don't

1:00:31

know the price of bread. I'd

1:00:38

rather see, I don't know, I'd like to see what they think

1:00:41

about some geopolitical stuff and maybe some hard questions. They never ask

1:00:43

hard questions. They always dance around,

1:00:46

like actually saying anything bad about their donors

1:00:48

and the big funds that nobody ever really wants to go

1:00:50

after oil. Nobody ever

1:00:52

really wants to start talking about getting to

1:00:54

that carbon neutral. Shit

1:00:59

without nuclear is absurd. I don't know why there's

1:01:01

no nuclear proponents who are like, yes, it just

1:01:03

makes so much sense.

1:01:05

It makes so much sense. It

1:01:08

does make a lot of sense. There

1:01:10

are nuclear proponents. I feel like lately when I listen to Ted

1:01:12

talks and stuff, even the greenest of

1:01:14

people are more pro-nuclear. Yeah,

1:01:17

it's the way. And the best part is like, we've got so much

1:01:19

fuel already just sitting around and

1:01:21

holes in the ground all over the country. And those secret

1:01:23

silos aimed at our enemies. You're like, we're ready to go.

1:01:36

They can use that, I'm sure, as fuel. Weapons

1:01:39

grade plutonium? I don't know. It's not a thing

1:01:41

I know. Uranium, I think.

1:01:45

Maybe in a hydrogen bomb. It's

1:01:47

not a thing. And that's what we're

1:01:49

talking about. Yeah. I

1:01:52

mean, it's just like, we've got so much fuel already just sitting around and

1:01:54

holes in the ground all over the country. And those secret silos aimed

1:01:56

at our enemies. You're like, we're

1:01:58

ready to go. I have proven my

1:02:01

point about how I don't know Utilizes

1:02:04

hydrogen and the

1:02:07

nuclear bomb utilizes nuclear Duh

1:02:11

is my we brought our expert this

1:02:13

week. So they all go clean so

1:02:15

it's easy to mistake Like

1:02:18

and people will be like would you want one in

1:02:20

your backyard and it's like two or three

1:02:22

That's how we get power down here that and hydroelectric

1:02:25

like like key away There's a big one and I

1:02:27

think there's two or three down here like not

1:02:30

not near Atlanta But near where I'm from

1:02:32

in Northeast Georgia I've been to the I

1:02:34

think I went to the Kiwi power plant was fat

1:02:36

But a field trip one time and

1:02:38

of course you go through their museum and they're like

1:02:41

this banana has more radiation than I

1:02:43

reacted It's like that can't be true.

1:02:45

Like the door God has seven fingers

1:02:47

on that hand That'd

1:02:51

be great they had a burn victim as the tour guide

1:02:53

Why don't why don't we put a bunch of nuclear power

1:02:55

plants in Hazardly

1:03:10

that like that really cheery motivational

1:03:12

speaker from Australia with no limbs

1:03:15

They'd wheel him around and that's you

1:03:17

didn't know about this guy. No. Yeah,

1:03:19

he can swim or maybe they're just

1:03:21

maybe there's always a cut quickly Wait,

1:03:23

is it the Georgia or something? I

1:03:26

don't think so, but he if Remember

1:03:29

with no arms. I watched

1:03:32

the swim with no arms. He's fucking badass He

1:03:35

was yeah, but he had legs He did

1:03:37

have legs. He swam like a dolphin. He didn't

1:03:39

breathe 50 meters. He

1:03:41

just held his breath and swim underwater the

1:03:43

whole time Oh, apparently Nick

1:03:46

Vujicic from Australia

1:03:49

Yes, how do you lose the arms? Born

1:03:51

without arms and born without legs Yeah,

1:03:54

he's jumping in the pool. Show me a picture this guy.

1:03:56

I gotta see what he looks like. Does he look like

1:03:59

a tadpole or something? something he

1:04:02

he's not very mobile looking

1:04:04

you know like let's see look like

1:04:08

what what are those whales at the

1:04:10

Atlanta aquarium woody that looks like they've

1:04:12

got hips Luga Luga they look like

1:04:14

a shape like a beluga whale I

1:04:17

want to see this what is this you look at

1:04:20

the beluga whale from the right angle it's kind of

1:04:22

sexy why is this on LinkedIn it's good look

1:04:24

at it look at him there is fucking jean

1:04:26

shorts on now depending on whether

1:04:28

or not this video if you play it

1:04:30

shows him going down or up would

1:04:33

change my opinion of his definitely down but

1:04:35

look at how calm the person behind him

1:04:37

is like he's done this before he's he's

1:04:40

women dude it's a missed opportunity at his

1:04:42

name is Nick like this

1:04:45

floating guy with no arms and

1:04:47

no legs should be named Bob

1:04:49

a hundred yeah look he's in

1:04:51

a good mood he's always talking

1:04:54

early Halloween I bet his Halloween

1:04:57

cogs right and then a hint of a

1:04:59

foot that he's got a little

1:05:01

little thing down a little helper foot

1:05:03

that's how you got that no wonder he's got

1:05:05

three or four kids look at that hog he's

1:05:08

got four kids you

1:05:11

think it work it you think his lady you know for

1:05:13

him that inner you think he gets her with that little

1:05:15

baby foot I bet look at that face

1:05:17

that guy does whatever he pleases she

1:05:19

better be into that so yeah I'm dealing with

1:05:21

that opportunity really I'm glad that

1:05:23

some people are able to find what

1:05:26

happiness man I

1:05:28

well I'd I'd it's my

1:05:30

way over to drowning myself in that pool if this

1:05:32

happened to me I'm gonna tell you right now not

1:05:34

if you have his skills he's gonna your I figured

1:05:36

out I'd put my head in that fucking like that

1:05:39

round filter effect filter fought and just go upside

1:05:41

down in there look at this

1:05:43

guy I was talking about Giorgio or

1:05:45

something then

1:05:47

now this guy looks like he had arms

1:05:49

because it looks like there's a scar something

1:05:51

there hmm where

1:05:54

the other guy Oh gee no

1:05:56

arm kind of guy what the zangtown now that's

1:05:58

not the guy was thinking of Okay,

1:06:01

I want to see how how far he's kicked himself

1:06:03

out of the water here like

1:06:06

Like is he how far out of

1:06:08

the water is this guy? He's probably has two legs to get

1:06:11

that high No

1:06:13

limb athletes When

1:06:17

I swam in college one of

1:06:19

the other teams had a dude with one leg

1:06:22

and he sucked You

1:06:30

coming into your lane Okay,

1:06:33

I'm late obviously this guy can swim

1:06:35

he has likes well, I mean still

1:06:38

though he doesn't have funny fucking arms I'm gonna

1:06:40

fish. Yeah, that's true. Are

1:06:42

you a deal? Are you are

1:06:44

you a competent good swimmer Kyle? No,

1:06:47

no, I can keep myself alive I don't

1:06:50

think I would drown Unless

1:06:53

the waters were like pretty choppy But

1:06:56

but if it got anything more than that, I would go

1:06:58

down I think that I can

1:07:02

Yeah, not a good swimmer. So you don't know

1:07:04

like the strokes you couldn't do I know them

1:07:06

freestyle Backstroke knowing them and doing

1:07:08

them is another thing doing them. Well is

1:07:10

another thing It's just I

1:07:12

know them but I'm not a good swimmer now

1:07:15

Okay, I'm I'm part of me

1:07:18

Still thinks when I hear like

1:07:20

an adult say like I don't know how to swim Part

1:07:23

of me is like just get in the water and it'll

1:07:26

just happen like just intuitively

1:07:28

like how like move in the water

1:07:30

and Then the woody as a

1:07:32

lifeguard is like no obviously not you People

1:07:35

to swim it's not natural for humans at all.

1:07:38

It seems so easy Maybe it's a leg is

1:07:40

one lessons as a kid. It was our

1:07:42

that they don't just get horizontal

1:07:44

They're sort of bobbing up and down and

1:07:46

sort of like trying to pull themselves out

1:07:48

and add it with wide fingers. Oh It's

1:07:52

it's weird watching someone drown like that I think

1:07:54

I saw a news story where like a kid

1:07:57

fell in a pool and two adults drowned trying

1:07:59

to save the kid in the pool. What?

1:08:03

What the fuck? No one was paying attention. How big was

1:08:05

this pool? No one? I wish I was there. That would

1:08:07

be like no big deal. Saving

1:08:09

a child? Triple kill! You

1:08:12

have to save the two adults who went in after. That's

1:08:14

not hard either. What are you going

1:08:17

to have is not just those other hands. I

1:08:20

really do think if you're like Woody save all three

1:08:22

of them, hold a brick in one hand, I'd be

1:08:24

okay. Yeah. I don't think I could

1:08:26

save them. I think I could get the kid out of there, but

1:08:28

I'm not going in for an adult anyway. Yeah.

1:08:31

Get your principles. You should have learned to swim. Nothing.

1:08:33

I better be a hot adult. If it's something like

1:08:35

fat dude that fell in is like. Right.

1:08:40

But if he's hot, you're there. Yeah.

1:08:43

If like John Stamos fell in. I'm

1:08:45

glad you went with crack head on the fucking

1:08:47

step on the way. I'm like, holy shit. I

1:08:50

got from full house. But get him out of there. Yeah.

1:08:52

Did you guys have a, when you would swim

1:08:54

in pools or whatever as a kid, obviously there

1:08:57

were those pictures of the people breaking their neck

1:08:59

from diving. Oh yeah. But there,

1:09:02

I never knew anyone who that happened to. And

1:09:04

I'm realizing now, I think adults might've been

1:09:06

fibbing to me about like local

1:09:09

kids getting paralyzed from it. There's

1:09:11

Woody. You would know is that that's not

1:09:14

super common, right? Not that I know

1:09:16

of, but I mean diving in hitting like

1:09:18

into a shallow. I feel like

1:09:20

hitting your hitting the bottom and getting a

1:09:22

scrape is super common. Hitting the

1:09:24

bottom and getting a neck injury. I've never seen

1:09:26

it. Yeah. That was like a mythos, like

1:09:29

a, like a tooth fairy level thing. Like when

1:09:31

I'd go swimming, like parents would like, don't you

1:09:33

dive in there? Remember what happened to little Timmy

1:09:35

Smith up the road and it's like Timmy Smith.

1:09:37

I never heard of him. And they're like, and

1:09:39

you never will again, because

1:09:42

he's paralyzed. Every

1:09:45

swimmer is a competitive swimmer who's dove

1:09:47

into a pool of thousand, 2000, 6,000

1:09:50

times. It has hit their face on

1:09:52

the bottom at one point. I had a teammate. He

1:09:54

was really good. He was all American. And

1:09:56

he would always do this thing at the start of

1:09:58

every practice where he jumped. up abnormally

1:10:01

high and then he went straight

1:10:03

down and the water was like three and a

1:10:05

half feet deep and he was always fine.

1:10:08

That, it's just trying to

1:10:10

loosen himself up. I think he was showing

1:10:12

off. It was a thing that he was good at and if

1:10:14

you looked at it, you'd be like that, it has

1:10:17

to be dangerous. Everyone jumped

1:10:19

in the shallow end but we would take a shallow dive.

1:10:22

This guy went straight down like a

1:10:24

pencil and then underwater he would just

1:10:26

curve it up and save it. I'm going

1:10:28

to swim more this summer. That sounds

1:10:30

fun. My pool

1:10:32

is tomorrow. Well, kind of.

1:10:34

It takes a while for the water to get clean

1:10:37

but tomorrow the guy's coming. A lot

1:10:39

of kids would jump off into the rock

1:10:41

quarries when I was a kid. Lots

1:10:44

of, especially in Elberton, Georgia, there's just tons of

1:10:46

these quarries and basically it's a square hole underneath

1:10:49

the dirt. Surprise, surprise. And you're just on top

1:10:52

of a giant cap of

1:10:54

granite that encompasses the entire

1:10:56

county. You can

1:10:58

cut square holes into the ground that is

1:11:00

just rock. It's just rock

1:11:02

down there. It's solid and deep. Super

1:11:06

deep, right? Like too deep for a human to

1:11:08

touch maybe? What do you mean touch?

1:11:11

Like if you drag him to the bottom

1:11:13

and come back with a rock. Who even

1:11:15

fucking knows? Because what they'll do is they're

1:11:17

mining essentially in these quarries and the sides

1:11:20

of the quarry have these square holes and

1:11:22

it's a huge hole in the ground and

1:11:24

then it's full of water. I

1:11:27

went to a place that there's a

1:11:29

skeet shooting place, sporting clay place in

1:11:32

Elberton where they utilize rock quarries. So

1:11:34

they'll throw the skeet out over the

1:11:36

rock quarries and you'll shoot them out

1:11:38

there. And it's cool because the

1:11:40

shot will hit the opposite side and you can see

1:11:42

it hit the rock. And the

1:11:45

skeet always hits the rock in the same

1:11:47

place. So it's just stained the rock orange

1:11:49

because about millions of them have fucking hit

1:11:51

that rock. But the

1:11:53

bottom is God knows. You don't know. Maybe

1:11:55

it's 50, 60, 70, 150. You

1:11:57

don't know. So they would.

1:12:00

Um, I see they kids around here

1:12:02

have always Set up

1:12:04

these giant rope swings and cable pulley

1:12:06

swings. They sometimes utilize some of the

1:12:08

leftover cranes and And

1:12:11

stuff like that and I remember

1:12:13

my dad growing up told a story about His

1:12:16

brother-in-law was standing there while people were doing

1:12:18

the the swing and the way it worked

1:12:20

he swung out you let go do a

1:12:22

flip land in the water and then

1:12:24

there's a uh, A string

1:12:26

tied to the cable you

1:12:29

swing out on a cable But there's a string tied to the

1:12:31

cable so we can retrieve the cable so the next person can

1:12:33

go Well, my dad's

1:12:35

brother-in-law is literally just an idiot

1:12:37

like probably special and He's

1:12:40

standing like a cartoon character in the

1:12:42

coil of rope Like

1:12:45

we're here to do the thing like don't imagine

1:12:47

that he's like having a beer by a campfire

1:12:49

way over there We're all here on a ledge

1:12:52

Standing like wily coyote on the edge of

1:12:54

the cliff. He has he is wily coyote

1:12:57

Anding in the fuck elmer fudd like

1:13:00

like and so the next person

1:13:02

goes and And

1:13:05

it's brick mason cord if you don't you're

1:13:07

not familiar with this very strong very

1:13:10

thin string It's it's like super fishing

1:13:12

line maybe but it is string nylon

1:13:15

Wraps around his foot drags him out

1:13:17

upside down over the fucking quarry while the

1:13:19

other person is swinging along too And

1:13:22

he dangles as I think slices and cuts

1:13:24

through his fucking foot in like eight different

1:13:26

places And they're so poor back then

1:13:28

dad's like Grandmama was

1:13:30

putting tomatoes and potatoes and

1:13:33

roots and And

1:13:35

they were spitting tobacco juice on it

1:13:41

Wouldn't you know it got real infected I

1:13:44

was like did that that worked he's like near about

1:13:46

fell off Oh That's

1:13:57

so funny dude my grandpa and your dad They

1:14:00

would just fic

1:14:02

his thieves. They would get along so well. The way you

1:14:05

say he phrases and talks about things. It's

1:14:07

just a country farmer southern

1:14:10

thing to have that archetype. Dad's

1:14:13

watched too many Coen brothers movies so he

1:14:15

likes that old timey silly

1:14:18

like I don't know

1:14:21

dialogue so he's silly the way he

1:14:23

does that stuff. He loves the brother

1:14:25

where Art thou and what's

1:14:27

the other one? When

1:14:30

I was ground Buster's raising Arizona raising Arizona

1:14:32

if you've never seen raising Arizona not you

1:14:34

Taylor. I would bet my life my grandpa

1:14:36

hasn't seen any of those movies. This is

1:14:38

just the way he talked. Yeah,

1:14:43

damn. So did you ever leap into

1:14:45

the quarry fuck no no because ever

1:14:48

no, I don't think I was ever invited

1:14:50

from being 100% honest, but I also remember

1:14:52

my cousin saying that. I

1:14:56

swear this happened. He dreamt my dad told him

1:14:58

he's like hey, you shouldn't be doing that dangerous.

1:15:00

You know when I was growing up kids would

1:15:02

get hurt and your uncle party

1:15:05

fucking like nearly lost his foot one

1:15:07

time. Your uncle lefty. And

1:15:13

so Scott said he had

1:15:15

a dream that he that he drowned

1:15:17

like they've been going every every weekend

1:15:19

and spending the whole weekend up there

1:15:21

jumping like doing backflips and shit, but

1:15:23

he dreamt that he drowned so he

1:15:25

didn't go and the day he didn't

1:15:27

go is buddy drowned like

1:15:30

buddy jumps in hit something under the water didn't

1:15:32

come up like. The

1:15:34

Reaper needed a soul it would have been him but

1:15:37

I don't know maybe that's the scary part

1:15:39

died if he was there for him. Oh,

1:15:43

that's what I said. That's what I said at the

1:15:45

funeral to a. Here

1:15:50

lies Travis. It's Scott's fault. Yeah. I

1:15:57

always called Scott his guardian angel. The

1:16:01

one day he wasn't there. I've like done

1:16:03

not a quarry jump, but I've done stuff

1:16:05

like that in the Ozarks, like off the

1:16:08

like Rocky outcrops over it,

1:16:11

especially with the ropes. And

1:16:13

sometimes you'll be doing it. Like if you drive

1:16:15

through the Ozarks, there will be like

1:16:19

the local spots that you're passing on the way

1:16:21

to like where the people who live in Kansas

1:16:23

city or St. Louis or whatever go and swim.

1:16:26

And they will be like the oldest rickety as

1:16:28

ropes as these like locals are

1:16:30

swinging out and some of them are like fat

1:16:33

as shit, fat as

1:16:36

shit swinging out over this and the

1:16:38

rope holds. And so that just, but

1:16:40

you see that and you're like, that's a matter of time. Someone's

1:16:43

going to, you know, there's a bunch of jagged rocks that if

1:16:45

you were to fall 15 feet,

1:16:48

you know, prematurely in your swing, you're going

1:16:50

to break your legs. Or I think that

1:16:52

an athletic person can fall just much better.

1:16:55

Like I think that if that's true and

1:16:57

a lot of these people are drunk and I think you're better

1:16:59

at falling if you're drunk. I,

1:17:02

all right, I'm gonna, I'm good. I think you're better

1:17:04

at having a car accident if you're drunk, but

1:17:06

I think that if they're out there, they get

1:17:08

most of them. Yeah.

1:17:10

It's running a ball. More loosey,

1:17:13

juicy, they're not posting up on

1:17:15

that wheel, but I think if you're

1:17:17

gonna like fall down an embankment, you want to have your

1:17:19

wits about you. So you can maybe, you

1:17:21

know, not snap your knees backwards or

1:17:23

like post up. Like I said. Yeah,

1:17:25

maybe I just do a lot of

1:17:28

sports where people fall, whether it be

1:17:30

paramotoring, paragliding, acrobatic, paragliding

1:17:32

or motorcycling, people fall. Dirt

1:17:34

biking. And there is a

1:17:36

giant correlation between how athletic they are and

1:17:38

how often they get hurt. Like the

1:17:41

athletes, they just bounce better, man.

1:17:43

Part of it's because they're lighter. You know, they just,

1:17:46

if you weigh one 50 falling is not as big a deal

1:17:48

as if you weigh two 50, but

1:17:50

also, I don't know, like muscles help

1:17:52

a little bit and just being fit

1:17:55

and athletic. Um, yeah, your

1:17:57

tendons and the connective tissues are all like

1:17:59

tougher, stronger. better if you're working out, you know,

1:18:01

maybe you're making good fast decisions

1:18:03

during the fall too, you know, that,

1:18:05

that somebody else isn't, I'm not sure.

1:18:08

You can see that it's like with ice skating, like

1:18:11

there were times where like for school events or

1:18:13

whatever, we'd all go ice skating or something. And

1:18:16

someone who knows what they're doing, like they fall

1:18:18

and they like, they know it'll like try and

1:18:20

land on their hip, their, their quad, like take

1:18:22

some of the pressure off in the

1:18:24

soft area. Don't stick your hand out like this

1:18:26

and break your wrist like an idiot. And then

1:18:28

sometimes you'd see someone fall who clearly had never

1:18:31

skated before. And they do like, uh, they

1:18:33

do like a, uh, a three

1:18:35

stooges, like whoop, whoop, whoop, where their feet

1:18:38

start coming out and they just tumble backwards,

1:18:40

hit their head. And it's like, Oh, that,

1:18:42

that could have been catastrophic. We could have

1:18:44

watched that woman die right just now in

1:18:47

the middle of our field trip and not

1:18:49

gotten to go to the tacos or the

1:18:51

hot dog stand motorcycle parallels on that. Like

1:18:53

I watched these people who are very good

1:18:56

at YouTube and there's two motorcycle disciplines called

1:18:58

hardened Duro and trials. And both of them

1:19:00

are real slow speed things where they're climbing

1:19:02

on like, I don't know, sewage

1:19:05

pipes that are six feet tall rocks that are

1:19:07

four feet tall. The sort of thing where you

1:19:09

like you're doing

1:19:11

a wheelie stationary and then you don't

1:19:13

hop onto the next rock. If you

1:19:15

can, yeah, but trials, the game, the

1:19:18

video game back. Okay. So, um, these

1:19:21

guys do that. And when they fall, it's amazing

1:19:23

to me because they managed to do it. Like

1:19:25

they see the fall coming. They decide that it's

1:19:27

time to bail. And then they

1:19:30

let themselves and their motorcycles down

1:19:32

and nothing's damaged. Meanwhile, like I'll

1:19:36

be on like a trail where to the right,

1:19:38

if I fall, it's three feet lower and to

1:19:40

the left, if it's three feet higher and I'm

1:19:42

just. The closest I can come

1:19:44

is try to fall to the high side, like let's

1:19:47

air on the high side, because if I fall with

1:19:49

the three feet drop, I'm kind of fucked. I'm not

1:19:51

that good at it. Like it, I'll look like a

1:19:53

non-athlete when I fall to the low side and other

1:19:56

people are just amazing. It's

1:20:00

for someone who's like direly

1:20:03

unathletic. Yes Yes,

1:20:06

it's I hate it. Oh I've

1:20:09

told this story before in college. I got thrown

1:20:11

out of the dorms and I had to like

1:20:13

quick Scurry and I got

1:20:15

this This woman was

1:20:17

renting out extra bedrooms to help her pay

1:20:19

rent. Well one of the other persons who

1:20:21

rented a different bedroom Wild

1:20:24

loser like crazy social anxiety He would

1:20:26

have like he got like straight A's

1:20:28

but he's always trying to kill himself

1:20:30

and he couldn't he had no friends

1:20:32

and And he

1:20:34

couldn't exist in like any crowds. Yeah, he committing suicide

1:20:36

was like a twice a week thing for him and Really

1:20:41

sucked at it. He was terrible at

1:20:43

everything except for school, which I envy

1:20:45

but uh Anyway,

1:20:48

I was like this poor guy, you know, like he

1:20:50

doesn't have any friends. I'm gonna play frisbee with him

1:20:53

Huge fucking mistake right like I

1:20:55

throw the frisbee at him Pregnant

1:20:57

Lee hit him in the fucking nose and he doesn't catch

1:21:00

it. Okay, whatever he picks it up He

1:21:02

throws me he's off by 90 degrees

1:21:05

and I'm like Am

1:21:07

I supposed to get that like I'm closer to

1:21:09

it. It's closer to you But

1:21:13

no I didn't I ran and I got it

1:21:15

and I threw it from there and I'm just

1:21:17

like running to wherever he's Randomly throwing this thing.

1:21:19

She's like you are not athletic enough to be

1:21:21

my friend. I'm failing Like

1:21:38

I know I've told some of these stories before but

1:21:40

like one time he took pills and

1:21:43

like So I like call

1:21:45

911 we get the EMTs there he

1:21:47

calls his mom and he's

1:21:49

like mom I've done it It's over now. I'm

1:21:51

gonna die. I just wanted to call you and

1:21:53

say goodbye and it's like Jesus

1:21:55

Christ. You're gonna be fine He

1:21:59

was Um, there was another

1:22:01

time I just heard banging from his

1:22:03

room And uh, he had

1:22:05

this little plastic first aid kit that he was

1:22:07

banging on a mirror and he later told me

1:22:09

that He was hoping the

1:22:12

mirror would break and slice his jugular.

1:22:14

What? This is a terror This

1:22:17

is not a valid suicide. Yeah, this guy

1:22:19

was seeking attention in all the wrong ways

1:22:23

He should have tried being better at sports He

1:22:25

was in a lot of pain. What uh, what race

1:22:27

was he he's a white guy ugly

1:22:30

white guy but fin Ugly

1:22:33

too Ah,

1:22:36

just irredeemable fucking loser Not

1:22:38

you couldn't couldn't find a you

1:22:40

know hated hated elevators Just

1:22:43

couldn't get to the top of a building in his life. Like

1:22:45

there was a hit on our base Okay

1:22:48

I I was trying to think of like

1:22:50

the most unathletic person i've ever played sports with And

1:22:54

it was this kid in little league

1:22:56

and he was just slow Like

1:22:58

not with it perfectly intelligent

1:23:01

person, but it just seemed like

1:23:03

He was slow like in everything he

1:23:06

did. It was like he moved at

1:23:08

point eight speed Sort of

1:23:10

like if he said hey bob that's not his

1:23:12

name. He went hey bob he'd go What?

1:23:16

He was just so slow to react and it was Why

1:23:19

was bob on third base? I can't tell you

1:23:21

but I remember dad like It's

1:23:24

practice and dad's hitting he's got an aluminum

1:23:26

baseball bat in one hand He's tossing up

1:23:28

a ball and he's hitting it two people

1:23:30

to make them be feel or t-ball baseball

1:23:33

Okay, we're like 13 we

1:23:35

can throw and so He

1:23:39

hits it to this big black kid

1:23:41

that was playing shortstop octavius Octavius

1:23:43

grabs that shit and he was so

1:23:45

close to third base But he turned

1:23:48

and he launched it at bob over

1:23:50

third base and bob never got

1:23:52

his hands up He just ate

1:23:54

it in the mouth. Just ate the baseball

1:23:56

right into his braces and like

1:23:59

cuts his lips all All the fuck up from

1:24:01

the braces he's crying and the EMT is

1:24:03

giving him oxygen and it's like Well,

1:24:06

yeah, they're always there to ballpark the ballpark

1:24:08

has like There's

1:24:10

like four or five games going on simultaneously

1:24:12

at the you know at the ballpark. So

1:24:15

kids get hurt all the time There's always EMTs there

1:24:17

me but but it's like I've

1:24:20

never seen anybody not get their hands

1:24:22

up. It's baseball It's like what you're

1:24:24

there to do like like like it's

1:24:26

what you're there to do is you have been expecting a

1:24:28

throw Yeah, right. I

1:24:30

can't imagine a world where you're caught by surprise,

1:24:32

you know, you're you're gaming I'll

1:24:40

be safe in line at the bank I

1:24:44

mean like it's like if you're playing goalie Taylor

1:24:46

in someone like hits a medium

1:24:48

one at you Intending for you to

1:24:50

catch it, you know what I mean?

1:24:52

Like like that's the person throwing the thing wants you to

1:24:55

catch it It's not the opposite. So it's just you

1:24:57

don't drop many true And if you're

1:24:59

dropping more than one like a day,

1:25:01

there's something got to play outfield or something, right? You

1:25:04

gotta move out of there. It's important to catch him back

1:25:06

there, too. He was so slow. He couldn't

1:25:08

do anything Position where it's less

1:25:10

important to catch Is

1:25:13

it right field the easiest one because people tend not to

1:25:15

hit it there as much Most

1:25:18

hat most hitters are right-handed. So they're not gonna

1:25:20

hit it to right field most of the time

1:25:22

So yeah, there's probably doing the least amount of

1:25:24

fielding out in right field but

1:25:28

Everybody needs to catch, you know, unless you're a

1:25:30

pinch hitter. Yeah, that's what I need to get

1:25:32

a change hitter Okay, but you probably have to

1:25:34

hit Yeah, he only hit all

1:25:36

you do or designated hitter as well Where

1:25:39

where could a guy who doesn't hit well

1:25:41

or catch her throw well play coach

1:25:44

or um, All right, if

1:25:46

there's a coach you can umpire and then and

1:25:48

guys that can't catch throw

1:25:51

or count have to

1:25:53

be coaches and Guys that don't

1:25:55

know anything about the game. I guess end up being

1:25:57

the umpires. There's a couple of umpires that are like

1:26:00

There's a whole YouTube series made about how

1:26:02

bad they are. And

1:26:05

I think all major sports are fixed. I can't

1:26:07

get over it. My vision deteriorates. I think I'm

1:26:09

getting more qualified to be an ump. Do

1:26:12

it. I

1:26:15

was in a, like I winged

1:26:17

this girl with the hockey puck when I was

1:26:19

like eight, nine years old

1:26:21

in the radio school gym. Actually

1:26:25

winged is the wrong word. I caught her square

1:26:27

in the teeth with one of

1:26:29

those orange pucks because

1:26:32

she was in a, I was trying,

1:26:34

you know, gym floor hockey

1:26:37

and me and one of my buddies who

1:26:39

I played hockey with actually the Marine guy, I've talked about many

1:26:41

times, one of my very close friends. We were

1:26:43

both on the same team in our gym, uh, you

1:26:46

know, hockey squad. And

1:26:48

this girl, Ashley, sorry, sorry,

1:26:51

Ashley, like it's not that big of a, sorry,

1:26:53

she got to go home afterward, but I, everyone

1:26:56

was keeping the puck on the ground. And

1:26:58

so the goalies were having a very easy time.

1:27:00

They were just like laying the stick on the

1:27:03

ground and I'm like, not today. I got, I

1:27:05

can lift this easy peasy because obviously before, you

1:27:07

know, those plastic hockey sticks with

1:27:09

like the straight blades, I did

1:27:11

what everybody does beforehand where I put my foot on

1:27:13

it on the ground and you kind of crank it

1:27:15

up and you bend that you had a big old

1:27:18

wicked curve in it so that you can get some

1:27:20

speed on the puck. And I ripped

1:27:22

it as hard as my little eight year old arms

1:27:24

could. And it immediately became apparent

1:27:26

to me that it, I put too

1:27:28

much curve on, I put too much curve in

1:27:30

my stick because it was five

1:27:33

feet high, maybe six feet

1:27:35

from my stick. It would have missed very

1:27:37

high. I probably would have hit the backboard

1:27:39

because that's what the goal was under and it

1:27:41

caught her right in the mouth. She didn't make a single

1:27:43

move. She only had one hand on her stick. Wasn't even

1:27:45

fucking paying attention. So she was openly

1:27:47

weeping that my teacher got mad at me

1:27:50

as if it's like my fault. I'm playing

1:27:52

to win. I'm hard of a champion. I'm

1:27:56

trying to pad my stat line. I already had a couple of assists

1:27:58

trying to get a goal for the. the day and

1:28:00

no, then she had to go home and

1:28:03

he made a new rule that you couldn't

1:28:05

bend the sticks and that you couldn't take

1:28:07

the puck off of the ground anymore. We're

1:28:10

not even playing hockey. Serious question. If

1:28:14

unless things have changed in the NHL,

1:28:16

there are rules about how much bend you

1:28:18

can put on the stick. Now

1:28:20

I've always felt like the more bend you

1:28:22

put on the stick, it's a little more

1:28:24

helpful for when you're on your forehand and

1:28:26

it's a little hurtful when you're on your

1:28:28

backhand because it's been the wrong way. So

1:28:32

I sort of thought the bend would kind of

1:28:34

self-regulate mostly and people would put on an appropriate

1:28:36

amount of bend so they could handle it well

1:28:39

both forehand and backhand. Why

1:28:41

are there rules? The curve of the blade, you mean? Yeah. Am

1:28:44

I saying it wrong? I thought you were talking about stick flex for

1:28:46

a second, but okay. Curve of the blade. Curve of the

1:28:48

blade, I'm sorry. Why

1:28:51

at the NHL, the top, when you're not

1:28:53

worried about people's roofing it, is

1:28:55

there a rule on how much you can bend your blade

1:28:57

or curve your blade? It doesn't make any

1:29:00

sense. There are some rules. They

1:29:03

have to be within a certain dimension size.

1:29:06

So Zach, pull

1:29:08

up Ryan O'Reilly's hockey stick. Him

1:29:12

and Leon Dryside are two guys who push

1:29:14

it to the absolute limit with how big

1:29:16

and goofy they can make the shape of

1:29:18

their stick, but it all comes down to

1:29:20

what you're doing the most. So

1:29:23

if you're always taking wrist shots, you might

1:29:25

have a little more curve or at least

1:29:27

what's allowable, like to the maximum. If you're

1:29:29

taking slap shots often, or

1:29:32

you're a face off guy, then you're going to

1:29:34

have a different thing. So Ryan O'Reilly's stick, which

1:29:36

Zach will bring up in a second, has the

1:29:38

most goofy, absurd toe curve in

1:29:41

the NHL. And that's because

1:29:43

he's the best face off guy that

1:29:45

the NHL has had in many, many

1:29:47

years. And so having that extra little

1:29:49

hook there. Oh shit, it's flat. Except

1:29:52

the tip. The rule is that the

1:29:55

length of the overall blade, like from

1:29:57

where the stick comes out, can't be

1:30:00

like more than an inch or a couple inches

1:30:02

or something like that. And so he chose to

1:30:04

have the whole blade be pretty much stick straight

1:30:07

until the end and all the curve is at the

1:30:09

end. And that means that when he's doing face offs,

1:30:11

he can kind of curl that around. And

1:30:13

nobody else's stick is like that because everyone

1:30:15

else is like, this is retarded. It affects

1:30:17

my shooting. It affects my handling. It affects

1:30:19

everything, but he's used to it. And so

1:30:22

he's still the best face off guy because he has a

1:30:24

goofy ass stick. They

1:30:27

do have rules for like how big

1:30:29

a stick can be that occasionally they

1:30:31

have to make allowances. Like,

1:30:33

yeah, Zidane Ochara, who's like

1:30:36

six, nine, six, 10, none

1:30:38

of the regular size. How old is him? Oh,

1:30:40

he's, he's out of the league. He's like, Oh, mid

1:30:42

mid forties. Now, one of the, one of the blues

1:30:45

players, Colton Peraco, he's like six, six or six,

1:30:47

seven. This is a defense minute. So he's allowed to

1:30:49

have the bigger sticks. And

1:30:51

I saw in a game once, like these refs were

1:30:53

on the ball because technically

1:30:55

it is legal for Colton Peraco to use

1:30:57

that stick, but it is not legal for

1:30:59

any other player on the ice to use

1:31:02

that stick because it's an illegal stick for

1:31:04

them. And so the rule is, so Kyle

1:31:07

probably doesn't know this. If, if

1:31:09

a defenseman loses their stick, a forward gives

1:31:12

him their stick because it's more important that

1:31:14

defensemen have a stick than a forward. Even

1:31:16

sometimes I believe the wrong way to give

1:31:18

him a lefty stick. It's all backwards, but

1:31:21

you like need poke checking and that defensive

1:31:23

tool. If a goalie loses his stick

1:31:26

and there's no one around to help and the sticks

1:31:28

knocked into the corner, whatever defensemen, you know, give the

1:31:30

goalie the stick. It's very important. The goalie has that

1:31:33

there. And so at one point a

1:31:35

player's stick broke and he went to pick up Colton

1:31:37

Peraco's off the ground and start using it in the

1:31:39

play. And immediately the ref was

1:31:41

like illegal stick maneuver. You can't,

1:31:43

you can't play with that. You can't do that. And

1:31:45

it's like, that's what you miss. Someone's gonna need their

1:31:47

teeth pummeled in three feet from you, but you caught

1:31:49

the illegal stick. Yeah, it's cool. I

1:31:51

still don't know why they would put a rule about the bent,

1:31:53

the curve of the stick. I, I,

1:31:56

yeah, I guess because it would be so

1:31:58

easy for. For wrist shot guys

1:32:01

to abuse that I don't actually

1:32:03

know I've got this is a goalie I'm not sure

1:32:05

the stick break from doing it sticks

1:32:07

break all the time. That's probably one It's

1:32:09

probably making this the thing like too weak,

1:32:11

right? You can't well you can't

1:32:13

play if you're dangerous I think it's

1:32:15

very dangerous because they're carbon fiber and so

1:32:18

you can stab someone with a very Accidentally

1:32:20

or easily so like if your stick starts

1:32:22

to break at all, you know, you

1:32:24

have to drop it Like you can't do

1:32:26

anything with the broken Advancement

1:32:29

in the major sports is going to be

1:32:31

as far as equipment or technology like like

1:32:34

I mean NFL as much

1:32:36

as I despise The NFL and all they stand for

1:32:38

like man They put on a fucking show with

1:32:40

all those that The

1:32:43

the cameras that zip around above

1:32:45

the players on those wires. Yeah,

1:32:47

that's neat Not only are they

1:32:49

like right on the money where

1:32:51

they need to be but they look

1:32:53

incredible like They

1:32:56

do a good job Um, that's wondering

1:32:58

about changing the ball So

1:33:01

that's so it's a really

1:33:03

significant change. It's gonna be some

1:33:05

space-age polymer and hollow inside Oh,

1:33:08

I saw that can you maybe grab a picture

1:33:10

of the potential NBA ball? I saw that How

1:33:13

is it not it's gonna pick up crap isn't

1:33:15

it? It's got like holes in it Oh,

1:33:17

I didn't think of that you would think

1:33:19

it would in Streetball like, you know Yeah,

1:33:21

it's like a Johnson outboard motor up Yeah,

1:33:25

really does It

1:33:27

probably no, I don't know what that

1:33:29

is Yeah, I

1:33:31

can't imagine that most players would in the

1:33:33

middle of their career want the ball to

1:33:35

change Like they've got to be

1:33:37

kind of pissed about that. It's like hey, I've kind of honed

1:33:39

my craft of shooting the ball and like The

1:33:43

player I'm sorry Kyle like I'm thinking let's

1:33:45

say that I've got mediocre

1:33:47

handles and I'm great at shooting and This

1:33:50

new ball is a little more dead and doesn't bounce

1:33:52

off the rim. It just tends to fall in Maybe

1:33:55

I'm like, this is great for me. That whole dribbling

1:33:57

thing was never my cup of tea. Anyway But

1:34:00

if all my shots go down now and you show

1:34:02

us that ball zack that the new The

1:34:05

I I don't think they're going to do you're not going to

1:34:07

do that. They're just not That's

1:34:09

crazy. That's gonna get so much crud in it

1:34:11

It's gonna be so the only way they can

1:34:13

do that is if it flies like a regular

1:34:16

ball And bounces like the

1:34:18

regular ball What's the advantage?

1:34:20

What are we getting? What are what what what

1:34:22

can we now do that? We couldn't do before

1:34:24

with this ball Okay,

1:34:26

so for the first half of it

1:34:29

it is supposed to be just like a

1:34:31

regular ball I haven't held one

1:34:33

and even if I did i'm not that calibrated,

1:34:35

you know, i'm not a real player But

1:34:38

uh, they say it's about the same.

1:34:40

Okay the advantage. I honestly think it's

1:34:42

to sell balls Would would

1:34:44

like fucking everybody on the planet just Switch

1:34:48

to the new ball Yeah, I mean

1:34:50

they know a million balls I mean Not

1:34:53

just that but like if it's if it's the new

1:34:55

official high school they'll sell a billion balls. Yes, would

1:34:57

he? Oh, yeah a billion

1:34:59

carbon fiber balls And then we'll

1:35:01

learn right away That not only does not fly

1:35:04

the same and it's not getting the same bounce

1:35:06

and players are mad because they can't play as

1:35:08

aggressively But when they when

1:35:10

they when they get crushed the fiber

1:35:12

the carbon fiber splinters go into these

1:35:14

these players who get paid eight million

1:35:16

dollars a game And

1:35:19

so then they all get thrown in the ocean I

1:35:22

think i'm just excited about that. I knew it's like

1:35:25

a sea change i'd like to see yeah I don't

1:35:27

care what they do. I guess it's it's a nonsense

1:35:29

game But nba to me

1:35:31

is genuinely like whose line is it

1:35:33

anyway? We're like we're not keeping

1:35:35

score because who fucking cares. It's like it

1:35:37

seems dribble next time buster Like

1:35:40

like what are the raps doing? I

1:35:42

know enough about basketball to know dribbling is such a key part

1:35:44

of it Here's what you need to know nc state

1:35:46

is the most dominant Basketball school on

1:35:48

the planet right now both our men's and women's

1:35:51

are in the final four. No one else can

1:35:53

say that Score is

1:35:55

posted bitches. Is that the thing that

1:35:57

that girl? Came

1:36:00

something is on I think that's

1:36:02

is that Iowa that sound right that

1:36:04

does sound right now never mind well

1:36:07

what girl what's about this girl

1:36:09

Caitlin Clark is a very good

1:36:11

three-point shooter as a matter of fact

1:36:13

she's she's better than most

1:36:15

of the men in the NBA I think

1:36:18

it's hard to see if he gave her a

1:36:20

man's ball which is slightly bigger that might change

1:36:22

things but is the word you made Steph Curry

1:36:24

defended by women's college teams yeah well she did

1:36:26

that she did to the all-star game and it

1:36:28

was her versus hurry the three-point channel that's cool

1:36:31

yeah yeah so Steph Curry won but I mean

1:36:33

she was only off by a shot or two

1:36:35

and she would have beat most of the men

1:36:38

yeah they should have played

1:36:40

one-on-one no yeah yeah like I

1:36:42

talked about them problem girls and

1:36:44

they're like she could be in

1:36:46

the NBA I mean I'm not

1:36:48

saying women are just as good

1:36:50

as men but this woman could

1:36:52

probably make the NBA like I

1:36:54

don't think so man like yeah no way

1:36:57

there is one position in the NBA for someone who just

1:36:59

catches and shoots right you stand on the elbow or in

1:37:01

the corner and you catch the ball and you shoot it

1:37:03

right away that's the thing LeBron saying

1:37:05

you hope she joins the NBA I bet he does like

1:37:07

to see it'd be funny yeah I got another 10 years

1:37:09

in me if

1:37:12

y'all start recruiting from the

1:37:15

women's schools LeBron J he

1:37:17

wants her to join the

1:37:20

NFL massive defensive liability and

1:37:22

not it yeah it's good as a shooter she

1:37:24

is like I don't know she's that good with a man's

1:37:26

ball and I had

1:37:29

another thing and that's it yeah

1:37:31

and once you start getting up and down the

1:37:33

court like like look I don't know anything about

1:37:35

your sport was what I'm gonna call it the

1:37:37

woody sport of basketball yeah but it seems to

1:37:39

me that a big part of it is that

1:37:41

they're so fucking long that they don't take as

1:37:43

many strides as a normal man would getting up

1:37:45

and down that court so it's like

1:37:47

whoa like like what she's six what

1:37:49

is she six three yeah I

1:37:51

mean I think like she's like a

1:37:54

normal human yeah yeah

1:37:56

out of here then my one of the shortest

1:37:58

people in the NBA look I could

1:38:00

run up and down that court for about two

1:38:03

trips. Oh, you can

1:38:05

do more than that. It's not a very

1:38:07

big court. Yeah, but look, it's just – You

1:38:10

can't do it as much as LeBron or anything. I

1:38:12

hate it. I remember when they were trying to say

1:38:14

that like Serene Venus Williams could play men's

1:38:17

tennis. And I think they asked, oh, it's the

1:38:19

really outspoken tennis player who always first – John

1:38:22

McEnroe. McEnroe. They asked McEnroe, I think,

1:38:24

and he was like, she'd

1:38:26

get blown out by like the 400th best man. 700th.

1:38:29

Yeah, the way it went was this. He was

1:38:32

praising them. He's

1:38:34

like, she is the best woman's tennis player to

1:38:36

have ever lived. He was trying to give her a

1:38:38

compliment. And they're like, why are you qualifying it? Why

1:38:42

don't you just say she's the best tennis player to

1:38:44

have ever lived? And he's like, well,

1:38:46

because she'd get beat by the 700th ranked man.

1:38:49

And they got super

1:38:51

offended on the show. They're asking him for an

1:38:53

apology, which they did not get. And

1:38:56

then they asked Serene Williams about it. And

1:38:58

she's like, yeah, yeah, I think I could be about 700th in the

1:39:00

men's. So then they

1:39:02

– because she knows the sport. And it's like, yeah,

1:39:04

they do serve it real fucking hard. I

1:39:07

think they played. I think then they played a game with

1:39:09

her against some guy who was ranked like 300th or something.

1:39:12

And they blew her out. She's like smoking cigarettes between

1:39:14

rounds. I watch MMA a lot. And those women –

1:39:20

Serene against men in MMA all

1:39:22

the time. Like every training session,

1:39:24

the gym is 80% guys. So

1:39:26

they're rolling with guys constantly. They

1:39:28

know where they stand. Every

1:39:30

guy in the UFC can beat any girl in the

1:39:32

UFC. And I

1:39:35

imagine Serene trained against men too. Yeah,

1:39:38

it looks like Karsten Blasch,

1:39:40

who was ranked 203rd at the time, played

1:39:43

a set against each of the Williams sisters and beat them

1:39:45

6'1 and 6'2 while drinking

1:39:47

beer and smoking cigarettes. I

1:39:53

mean, I bet that guy had a great day.

1:39:55

He's like, oh, it is time for Karsten to

1:39:57

shine. They

1:40:01

come for the 200 and tired the guy.

1:40:03

Finally, Carson will show his worth. Man,

1:40:05

just 20 years later and he could have trans'd

1:40:08

up and dominated. Would that be

1:40:10

a good reality show? Matt,

1:40:12

would you tune in to see the

1:40:14

greatest female athletes face off

1:40:16

against some guy who was

1:40:19

pretty good in college? That'd be fun. Like a pro. We

1:40:23

got Carl here. He owns a bar in Milwaukee. Hasn't

1:40:25

played like a ball since... What was it

1:40:27

Mark? 98? 98, 99 champs. Yeah,

1:40:32

the North Eastern Regional champs. Let's keep

1:40:34

it in perspective Mark. Well,

1:40:37

he's going to be going up against

1:40:39

Denise here. She's number one in the

1:40:41

world. Keep in mind, Alan has developed

1:40:44

a severe prescription pill problem. He's

1:40:48

not fired up. He has the shakes. Who's

1:40:51

the guy, Zach? White

1:40:54

guy. I think he played for the Celtics. Scalisi?

1:40:57

Scalini? He

1:40:59

did that like Brian Scalini

1:41:02

challenge. Zach's going to

1:41:04

know this. I'm just waiting for him

1:41:06

to... Yeah, Scalini challenge. Like playing against

1:41:08

Joe's. Brian Scalibrini. Something like that. Anyway,

1:41:10

so he did a pros versus Joe's

1:41:12

thing. This is a guy... He had

1:41:14

a pretty long NBA career, but he barely played. This is

1:41:16

a guy who would get six minutes a game, two minutes

1:41:19

a game. Some games he would just ride

1:41:21

the bench the whole time. Then

1:41:23

he would play like D1 college players

1:41:25

and just fucking smoke them. He smoked

1:41:28

anybody. Are you the best at the

1:41:30

Y? You are not even close to

1:41:32

the worst player in the NBA. And he might have

1:41:34

been the worst player in the NBA for a couple of those

1:41:36

years. And his famous line is, I

1:41:39

am closer to LeBron James than you are to

1:41:41

me. And it's like, fuck.

1:41:44

And he's right. And he would just 1v1 people. Oh,

1:41:47

and by the way, he's like retired and

1:41:49

gotten fat. And he's smoking like current D1

1:41:51

players. Look at this guy.

1:41:53

He's a really good basketball

1:41:55

player. He looked like that

1:41:58

magic player we were talking about earlier. for

1:42:00

a second and it reminded me of

1:42:02

Vytas Guraladius. Do you guys know him?

1:42:05

No. No. Do you know the name Jimmy Connors?

1:42:07

That's a famous tennis player. Okay, so Jimmy Connors

1:42:09

was a really really good tennis player. He was

1:42:11

the best in the world for some period of

1:42:13

time and he beat Vytas

1:42:15

Guraladis 17 times in

1:42:18

a row. So then finally

1:42:20

in their 18th game, Vytas

1:42:22

won and he gets up

1:42:24

there at the podium like

1:42:26

the press stand and he

1:42:29

says nobody beats Vytas Guraladis

1:42:31

18 times in a row.

1:42:33

I'm sure I messed up his name. Now

1:42:35

this is it. I'm gonna leave this

1:42:38

window up because I absolutely now want to

1:42:40

invest time in watching like pros versus joes

1:42:42

challenges and sports. I got you. Have

1:42:45

you ever seen this one then? So this was

1:42:47

a pandemic moment on the Howard

1:42:49

Stern show where

1:42:51

basically Artie Lang was talking shit.

1:42:54

Artie Lang if you don't know, fat, co-addicted,

1:42:59

short Italian comedian.

1:43:03

He but

1:43:06

he could shoot basketball and he was like I could beat

1:43:09

a fucking like college basketball

1:43:11

pro like no an WNBA pro I

1:43:13

think is where he started and

1:43:15

a girl who like started for

1:43:18

the Penn State girls

1:43:20

calls into the show and starts

1:43:22

talking shit and so long story

1:43:24

short they ended up playing

1:43:26

a 1v1 game in an open open

1:43:28

air court in front of a huge

1:43:30

crowd with like Stern broadcasting it live.

1:43:35

14 to 10 she beat him. It was

1:43:37