0:01

Welcome to the Paradigm you podcast. I am so excited to be back for another week.

0:06

Gosh, I am just like beaming as I hit record on this week's episode because I have some big news.

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But before I can share the big news, I need to explain a little bit of the journey and how we got there.

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Listen in.

0:21

Hey, dad, bring us in.

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You're listening to the Paradigm you podcast.

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You're about to start transforming your life by growing your mind and expanding your paradigms.

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Here we'll cover real life topics, just like the stuff you'd share with a good friend.

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This podcast will serve up topics that weigh on our hearts and keep us up at night, whether it's navigating parenthood and becoming an adult, or wayfinding, personal development, marriage and money.

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You, my friend, are in the right place. If you're wanting a lot more in life to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful in the life and to bring more abundance and prosperity in your life, then this podcast is for you.

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Here we'll offer the opportunity to shift your paradigms by growing your mind, and when you do that, anything you want becomes possible for you.

1:02

I'm glad you're here.

1:04

All right, well, welcome back to the Paradigm you podcast.

1:06

Like I mentioned, we have some big things happening over at Paradigm you.

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You may have heard on last week's episode some of the teasers to explain to you what was coming, and if you are part of our newsletter that we send out every week, you probably got even more of the details of what's to come.

1:25

There is some big things happening and some big shifts.

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I'm experiencing all of it and I want to explain what is happening and I'm so excited to announce that today.

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However, before I can announce that, I think it's really important to share how I got to that point.

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So stay with me until the end of this episode, because at the end of this episode, you are going to hear what the big news is and what is about to happen with Paradigm.

1:54

You Listen in, all right, so wait, I guess I'm not really sure why I said listen in.

2:00

That's just a habit. So I want to tell a story.

2:06

My kiddo is learning to ride a bike and they're little.

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So if you can imagine, if you have little kids and you're like, yep, I'm in that same season, you get this, and if you've had kids in the past that have learned to ride a bike.

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You can understand or relate, and if you have ever yourself learned to ride a bike, you can also relate to the story.

2:26

One of my kiddos is learning to ride a bike right now and when they look down they start to worry and they start to wobble and I can see that they're starting to feel the fear.

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They look down and they realize in that moment that they are very vulnerable.

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They realize that there's a possibility that they're going to fall.

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But what I keep coaching them up up on is I say look outward, look at where you're going, and when they do that and they actually hear me and they can set aside that loud fear that's like at times crippling them that they're going to tip over.

3:06

When they hear me, they sit a little taller and they hold on to the steering, like the handlebars, with more confidence and I can witness their worries and their fears, kind of falling down and like falling behind them.

3:20

They're all lessons, you guys.

3:23

This, my friends, is exactly what I feel like life is.

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I realized this when I was watching my child learn to ride a bike recently and they were wobbling and they were feeling fear and I was trying to coach them up on like you are going to be perfectly fine.

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I am right alongside you on this journey.

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I got you, kiddo, I got you. But if you keep looking down and you keep thinking about the fear of what is the worst thing that could happen, which would be to tip off your bike, inevitably you're probably gonna do that more.

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But if you look outward instead of looking down, you're gonna have more balance, you can have more confidence and you're gonna see where you're going.

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I feel like I had a lightning strike when I was coaching my kid on this Because I was like hold on a second.

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I see this exact same stuff day after day in coaching.

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A lot of my clients and many of you listening have worked with me, so you probably have heard me say something along those lines.

4:19

When we look outward and we know where we're headed, the momentum to get us there is incredible.

4:25

When we start to look downward or we focus on all of our insecurities or our vulnerabilities and we start to look for what could go wrong, guess what happens?

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We start to experience that insecurity and we start to feel the fear of falling off the bike.

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This is on anything, anything worth trying, because I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, getting to the point where I could ride a bike by myself meant freedom.

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I witnessed this with one of my older kids.

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When they could ride a bike I swear they would just once they started having that freedom of being able to ride by themselves, they all of a sudden would sing and they were so much more confident and they had a different kind of confidence infused in how they showed up.

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That is just like us when we're trying to work towards something or a goal that we've set our sights on, when we keep our eyes on where we're going, the fear is lessens.

5:29

It's really interesting when you start to like think about it, like, oh yeah, riding, learning to ride a bike is really interchangeable with figuring out every season of life.

5:40

We can look down and we can worry about all the things that could go wrong and we can start to look at our insecurities.

5:47

Or maybe we start to look down and outward at other people and see what everyone else is doing and we start to think, oh man, I am not at that same level and we start to forget that we're all running a different race and instead, when we keep our eye on the area that we're headed.

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When we focus on what we're doing and which way we're going, it changes everything.

6:10

That momentum happens, that confidence happens, and it the fear and the insecurities are lessened.

6:17

I feel like I'm just like repeating myself, but I want to make sure that this point gets across, because I forget this sometimes too.

6:25

And so, witnessing my kid learning to ride a bike recently, I was like, oh yeah, this is such a good reminder.

6:31

One way to make sure that you have that good reminder on a regular basis in case you're not teaching a kid how to ride a bike every day Is to surround yourself with other people around you who can lift you up.

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Or, for example, if you're helping a kid ride a bike, the parent is going to be that bumper for that child to advocate for them, to cheer them on and to say keep going, look up, keep your head up, keep your eyes up, don't look down, sit up tall, you know, hold on to your, your, your handlebars and know where you're going.

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So I started like thinking OK, how can I encompass what I'm trying to get across in from some people who are far more brilliant than I?

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And so I did a little research and I pulled out three quotes that really spoke to me.

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See if they speak to you. The first one is by Steve Jobs and it says great things in business are never done by one person.

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That totally speaks to me and where we're going and the announcements that I have coming.

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But the second one I I feel like I had to include this because you know Amy Poehler.

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I just think she is a brilliant, brilliant woman and I just can't help but smile when I witness her and her leaning into her unique, beautiful gifts that she's been given.

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And her quote was find a group of people who challenge and inspire you.

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Spend a lot of time with them and it will change your life.

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This is so true you've probably heard me talk about this in other episodes where I've said you are, you know, the average of the five people that you're surrounding yourself with.

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This is so true.

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When you find a group of people who are going to challenge you, who are going to inspire you, who are going to lift you up and ensure you on while you're learning to ride that bike, your entire life is going to change.

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It's going to feel different. And the last quote that I found that really kind of like hit the nail on the head was by Alexander Graham Bell, and he says great discoveries and improvements Invariably involve the cooperation of many minds.

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I would agree with this one too. If we try to do something on our own, we're only going to get as far as our own mind can take us.

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But when we surround ourselves with other people, we can go so much farther.

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In fact, I would go on a limb to say you're listening to this podcast right now because you know that you want to take your life life to the next level.

9:08

Maybe you want to, you know, grow in a specific area, or you want to feel inspired, or maybe you just really love the sound of my squeaky voice and it lights you up and gives you permanent.

9:19

I'll take it. It's cool, especially this time of year when allergies kick in.

9:23

I'll give you squeaky voice all day long.

9:29

But what it comes down to is, I would venture to say, that you're listening to this podcast because you are wanting to go farther and you know that your mind can help you so far there, and you know that your mind can only take you so far.

9:40

But if you surround yourself with the company of other people who are going to challenge you and inspire you.

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You're going to build that momentum.

9:49

You're going to stop looking down when you're riding the bike and you're going to start looking out on the horizon.

9:54

You know, it's so exciting to start thinking about some of the people that I get to talk with on a daily basis.

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Many of you who are listening to this podcast are clients of mine, and when we work together, I get to witness the brilliance that you have inside of you.

10:14

It seriously lights me up.

10:17

It's so exciting to hear the goals that you have the vision and that you know that destination that you've set your sights on, and it is such an honor when I get to walk alongside you and cheer you on and be that bumper for you as you are learning to ride the bike, whatever that goal is that you might be working towards.

10:38

Seriously, I just have to take a pause right here for a second and say thank you.

10:43

Oh, I got a little emotional there and, as someone who doesn't do a whole lot of editing to these podcasts, you get to hear it.

10:52

Okay. So, anyways, when you surround yourselves with really incredible people, they can help you go where you want to go.

11:02

In fact, I've leaned on this concept of the draft horses.

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Have you ever heard this? It's called the power of pulling together.

11:09

If you have two draft horses and you just take one of those horses, it can't pull a whole lot by itself, and if you have two of them pulling independently, they're not going to pull a whole lot of weight independently or on them individually, but if you link them together they don't only pull twice as much as one horse would do, but they actually it actually is a lot of work it's three times, maybe sometimes four times, as much as they can actually pull when they're on their own.

11:41

You know, tony, my husband and I we talk about this a lot when we say we want to link our harnesses together, because when we link our harnesses together, we feel like we can experience so much more momentum.

11:53

It's the same with draft horses and it's the same when you surround yourself with other people who are going to challenge and inspire you.

12:01

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you are somebody.

12:04

If you're listening to this podcast, you're already someone who's driven to grow right.

12:08

So if that's the case, then I'd have to go on a limb and say you understand the power of linking your harness to maybe personal development information or podcasts like this, or you love to get newsletters like the one that we send out from Paradigm U, because when you do that, you link yourself, you tether yourself to others that inspire you and challenge you and advocate for you to go farther and faster, and when you surround yourself with those who can share the weight of your vision and your path, you increase the likelihood of getting to your destination and that productivity.

12:54

It's pretty incredible, isn't it?

12:58

Now, some may view collaboration or leaning on support or others as a weakness Full transparency.

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I did this for a really long time, you know, in business, I actually held this fear for a really long time.

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That gosh, if I went into a partnership with somebody, if I shared too much of my business information, all of a sudden I was in a vulnerable position and what I realized is I witnessed the power of linking my harness.

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Once I realized and released that fear and that story, that being vulnerable is you know, being you know is linking yourself with other people.

13:44

Yes, it is being vulnerable, but vulnerability is not weakness.

13:52

Hey, thanks for listening. All you parents, moms, dads and even kids you're all doing a great job.

14:01

And now back to the show.

14:04

Let me say that again Vulnerability is not equal to weakness.

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When you surround yourself with other people who are going to advocate for you and they're going to challenge you and they're going to inspire you, that is not weakness.

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I say that over and over because I needed to hear that over and over and over.

14:30

You know, after years of coaching and hearing people's fears and witnessing, I can see the brilliance that's oozing out out of them.

14:42

But the stories that may be blocking them are usually a narrative that's connected to some sort of vulnerability.

14:48

Oftentimes there was a fear and I'm not going to share anybody's specific stories, but a lot of times maybe you can relate to this that fear is connected to vulnerability.

15:02

That vulnerability is somehow, they believe, connected to weakness.

15:08

That asking for help or seeking guidance or linking harnesses to collaborate equals weakness.

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I had the same story for a really long time, but here's what I learned If I'm really being honest with you and I will always be honest with you, because that is the whole point of this podcast is to be vulnerable and transparent and honest as I navigate things alongside each of you.

15:38

The story that many people hold, and I held myself, was don't show all of your cards.

15:44

That is a position of weakness.

15:47

Don't share all of your skeletons in the closet because that will come to bite you in the butt.

15:53

Well, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I've abandoned a lot of those beliefs that I used to hold.

16:03

I've shared with you so many of my skeletons.

16:07

It's almost comical. Sometimes I'm like gosh, I really hope nobody in my family actually hears this.

16:14

Or sometimes, when I meet people that are like maybe my kids, um, friends, parents, and I get to know them and I'm talking to them, all of a sudden they're like, oh, I listen to the podcast.

16:25

I'm like, oh snap, you know a lot more about me than I know about you now, and so it chips that a little bit and I could easily go into a fear.

16:33

But that is not going to help me get to the destination that I've set my sights on and that is not going to help anybody who listens to this podcast get to their destination.

16:46

That, my friends, that fear and that fear of vulnerability, that's ego.

16:52

You know, I used to have a story or a stigma attached to the concept of ego.

16:56

I used to be like, well, that's not me, I don't have an ego.

16:59

Yeah, that is crap.

17:01

I think all of us have an ego that's driving some of our decisions and our behaviors, far more than we realize.

17:09

That ego is talking in the background whether we realize it or not, and if you really want to experience that massive shift or that change to get where you want to go, you have to set aside the ego and surrender to being vulnerable.

17:27

Remember, vulnerability is not weakness.

17:33

Setting aside that ego and surrendering to where you need to be most vulnerable is not weakness.

17:41

In fact, that is power.

17:46

Did you hear me say that being vulnerable is a powerful position?

17:52

And in fact, I'm not the only one to say this.

17:55

I'm guessing you've experienced or heard other people saying this.

17:59

But the cool part about recognizing that being vulnerable can actually be empowering and from a place of power, it's a little bit refreshing, and if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that that's something that I hang my hat on.

18:17

I want to make sure that I am willing to be vulnerable and share the ups and the downs and all the turns and twists on my path, in hopes that it inspires you to do the same, because that is how we grow when we're vulnerable.

18:34

Now here's the interesting part.

18:36

Some people believe and I did as well that when you start to be really vulnerable and you start to put yourself out there, it may actually hinder your growth.

18:47

I disagree. Now that I've had a lot of experience experimenting with being vulnerable and holding like my cards close to myself, I've realized that vulnerability gets me through whatever I'm working through far faster than trying to go at it alone.

19:07

Here's how I can tie this back to my kid learning to ride a bike.

19:10

When my kid is looking down and they're wobbling and they want to try and do it themselves, they're far more likely to fall and hurt themselves.

19:21

But if they look down because we all do it if they look down and they start to wobble and I'm in their corner cheering them on, guess who's going to catch that bike before it hits the ground, before those knees get bruised and scratched up?

19:40

That's me. I'm the person catching the bike.

19:42

And the cool part is is if I keep advocating for them and I say keep your eyes up, keep your eyes up, stay balanced, stay.

19:51

You know Balance. Oh my gosh, that's such a good one.

19:54

I didn't even include that in my notes about today's idea for the podcast, if full transparency.

19:59

If I haven't told you this before, I have a general idea of what I want to talk about, but I don't actually write out the entire Podcast.

20:06

So when I have these brilliant moments like balance on a bike, well, I gotta insert that anyways.

20:13

I Am that person that is right there alongside my kid learning to ride a bike.

20:20

I am right there. I am that person alongside a lot of my clients who are taking massive action and huge leaps to really step into the life that they desire and dream.

20:34

And that is because when my kid is having me and they're surrounding me or themselves with me cheering them on, they're gonna get that momentum, they're gonna learn it faster, they're gonna accelerate what they're actually doing.

20:48

When my clients sign up to work with me at Paradise Mew and they sign up for coaching Guess what?

20:54

That accelerates their, their whole process.

20:58

That allows them to stop looking down and to stop allowing any of those blocks that are holding them back From holding them back, because they have somebody in their corner advocating for them.

21:10

So let me ask you who is in your corner Now?

21:14

This doesn't have to be, you know me advocating like, hey, you have to work with me.

21:20

No, no, no. This is me advocating that you, my friend, need to find somebody who is in your corner, cheering you on as you hop on the bike, as you set your sights on that horizon, and Supporting you when you start to wobble, guiding you when you need direction.

21:40

There is power, so much power, in surrounding yourselves with those who care about you, by surrounding yourself with those who can share the weight of your vision and your path.

21:54

When you surround yourself with people like that, whether it's a coach or me or someone else in your world that is cheering you on and there Alongside you, walking alongside you on that journey, you are going to go farther and faster because you've linked your harness with someone else.

22:12

Trust me, together is better.

22:17

So let me ask you, who are you harnessing yourself on With on your journey?

22:22

Think about that for a moment Because, as I mentioned earlier, if, if we believe in this idea that we are the average of the five people we're surrounding ourselves, with which I've done entire podcast on the research and the concept of that, and I'm not gonna camp out there, but I am gonna bring it up one more time Well, maybe I'm sure I'll bring it up someday again, but I can't promise that I won't won't ever do it again.

22:49

But let me ask you again who are you harnessing yourself with?

22:52

Because if you're harnessing yourself with the right people on your journey guess what?

22:57

You go farther and faster, and that person is there alongside you.

23:04

When you start to wobble, when you start to maybe experience some of those insecurities, when you start to have that fear or you're like holy cow, am I crazy or brilliant?

23:14

Am I crazy or brilliant? Am I crazy or brilliant?

23:16

That person is there to say you're both and keep going.

23:22

So, with that in mind and sharing that perspective, I have a big announcement that I am so excited to share.

23:30

I Am going to share two things One, that I've released some stories that were holding me back, thanks to Harnessing myself and linking my harness with the right people.

23:44

And two, I'd like to announce that I have linked my harness with some pretty profound and powerful and incredible people that I am so excited to introduce you to and Share that entire journey, because that has been what I've been doing for the last few months.

24:00

In the last episode I shared that.

24:03

You know I've kind of had my head down for quite a few months.

24:05

One, because I had hit some massive, like Transformational, like holy cow.

24:10

It hit some upper limits that I didn't even see coming but two, because I needed to recalibrate, because I had taken my life to that next level, but I wasn't prepared for what that next level all needed to include.

24:24

On now I'm really, really, really excited to share with you some big announcements about what I am releasing and Releasing, some big news about who I'm collaborating with.

24:36

But I'm gonna do the din, din, din.

24:41

I think that's called an ellipso, calypso, ellip.

24:45

Oh gosh, I can't remember what that thing is called.

24:47

My kids know about this because they, I always say when I'm reading stories and they are so good at announcing whatever that means or the word that describes that.

24:55

But anyways, wow, I totally like, went on a tangent, but I'm going to announce the big announcements on the next episode.

25:03

So listen in. Hey guys, it's April here.

25:08

If you are someone who likes to know exactly what is happening and you want to hear it from me first, I'd like to invite you to hop onto our newsletter.

25:18

We send a weekly newsletter from Paradis New and, as you can tell, we're going through some major shifts and changes, which is really exciting, and our journey truly has been accelerated, and if you want to follow along that journey and you want more information than just this podcast, I invite you to join us for our weekly newsletter.

25:38

We don't share your information with anyone that side note is a bad move and bad karma in my opinion and we don't spam you and blast you with a bunch of crap.

25:49

I just don't, I don't love that and I wouldn't want to do anything to anyone that I wouldn't want to be reciprocated to me.

25:57

So we put good energy out through our emails and through our weekly newsletter.

26:03

This means that we are guiding you with information, we're offering additional resources beyond what this podcast has, or we're giving you first information, like insider information, before we tell anyone else.

26:20

And, let's be honest, there are thousands and hundreds of thousands of people who listen to this podcast and if you want to get the information before all of these people who are listening to this podcast, you're going to want to be on our newsletter.

26:33

We send them out once a week, like I said, and that is it.

26:36

We send the information, we put good energy into your inbox and then the rest is up to you.

26:43

So the link is in the show notes.

26:45

I invite you to sign up because we have a lot of big changes happening and I want to make sure that you get that information so that you can stay on track and inspired and you can keep moving towards who it is that you are meant to be and tapping into all of the gifts that you have and are unique to you.

27:07

All right, on that note cheers to good karma, good energy and awesome things in your inbox.

27:17

Thank you for listening to this entire podcast.

27:19

I hope this episode has left you feeling curious and inspired.

27:24

This podcast is intended to create expansion in your life through unique stories and shared experiences, and if you enjoyed today's episode, I have a request.

27:33

I'd like to ask you to share this podcast with your friends and family.

27:37

I bet they'd enjoy it just as much as you have.

27:40

And, if you found value, please share this on your social media outlets.

27:44

That is good karma in action, my friends.

27:47

All right, it is now closing time.

27:49

Cheers to good karma and the power to choose joy.

27:55

If you like this, tell your friends.

27:58

Stay tuned for the end because we have outtakes.

28:01

They're making me laugh, that's awesome.

28:05

That's so cool, you can do that.

28:06

Okay four.

28:08

Don't laugh though.

28:09

We can't edit that out.

28:10

No, that's going to stay there.

28:12

Hey, are you even listening?

28:15

And now for the outtakes.

28:20

Test one, two, three, four.

28:22

Okay, now say hey welcome to the podcast.

28:27

Hey, welcome to the podcast.

28:29

I'm glad you're here. That's too loud, though, no that's perfect.

28:32

Let's hear that You're projecting a little more than I am.

28:36

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. I have to open my belly up.

28:43

Yes.

28:44

Okay.

28:44

Then I can talk. Can we do that?

28:45

Yeah, I can talk like that.

28:47

Hey getting a few snow flurries out there.

28:51

It's going to be a long ride home on the commute tonight.

28:54

You're going to want to leave work a little bit early.

28:56

Coming up next, we've got some jams from the 80s.

29:02

You're so cool, I love it Okay, go for it.

29:09

All right, you're really great Everyone.

29:13

Everyone that's been here, everyone, everyone that's listening to this podcast, even if they don't even hear the rest, even if they only can listen to a part of it because of a screaming baby.

29:24

You're all really awesome.

29:26

Yeah, thanks for listening, Bye guys.

29:29

Bye, over and out.