I'm tired of hearing well-intentioned people telling parents that the reason their children do so well at school and are so challenging at home is because they feel safe. Their parents are their safe space.

Sure, there's truth in that.

But is it actually helpful?

For many parents, knowing that they are their child's safe space quickly gets translated to "They're saving it all up for me."

In this episode, I'm offering a reframe through the lens of "spoon theory." Sure, your child feels safe with you, but that's probably not all that's going on. They might be out of spoons. They might have zero energy left for self-regulation, and you're the one who witnesses it.

When we start to see it less as them letting loose because they feel safe, and more as an absolute exhaustion of inner resources, our narrative can shift from "Why me?" to "They are so done, and they need some help."

---

Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julia-mcgarey/support

Get full access to The Blackbird Chronicles at juliamcgarey.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit partneredpathparenting.substack.com