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Season 2 Episode 5:  How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Season 2 Episode 5: How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Released Tuesday, 16th February 2021
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Season 2 Episode 5:  How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Season 2 Episode 5: How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Season 2 Episode 5:  How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Season 2 Episode 5: How professionals & systems can avoid being manipulated by perpetrators

Tuesday, 16th February 2021
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Domestic violence perpetrators do not only target survivors.  They also target the professionals & systems who want to want to help them. Many perpetrators, often using money, privilege and power,  leverage systems to amplify their control.  False allegations of substance abuse, mental health issues or child abuse are lodged with  social services and family courts, often to devastating effect.  Other behaviors include:

  • Continuous litigation to exhaust the financial ability of survivors to resist
  • The use of police  wellness checks to intimidate a survivor 
  • The weaponization of survivor's mental health and addiction diagnoses, to gain control over children, even when those problems are the result of the perpetrator's abuse.

Survivors can feel trapped between perpetrators and  systems that are not savvy to these behaviors. The effects of system manipulation on the safety & wellbeing of adult and child survivors of domestic violence is often long term, financially devastating, and  harmful to child wellbeing and development. In some instances these system failures can cause MORE trauma than the initial abuse itself. 

In this episode, David & Ruth discuss how domestic violence perpetrators target practitioners in different systems, and why those systems are so vulnerable to these tactics.  They highlight the vulnerabilities of family court, criminal justice and child welfare.  They discuss how to recognize when a perpetrator is manipulating your system to harm a victim, and how  to  resist these manipulations.    

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."

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From The Podcast

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions. Have an idea for a podcast? Tell about it here: https://share.hsforms.com/1l329DGB1TH6AFndCFfB7aA3a1w1 

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