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110 - James Haskell

110 - James Haskell

Released Monday, 27th February 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
110 - James Haskell

110 - James Haskell

110 - James Haskell

110 - James Haskell

Monday, 27th February 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

This is a global original podcast.

0:03

McKenna's positivity podcast.

0:06

Hello. This is Paul McKenna's, and welcome

0:08

to the positivity podcast. My

0:10

objective is to interview the most interesting

0:12

people in the world. And in the next thirty

0:14

minutes, get insights and even discover.

0:17

How it is that they do what they do. What

0:19

makes them unique and fascinating, their

0:21

success mindset, and

0:23

certainly what keeps them positive.

0:26

My guest today is one of the best no

0:29

rugby players in the world, having played

0:31

seventy seven times for his country. He's

0:33

a Sunday Times best selling author for his

0:35

smash hit autobiography and a DJ.

0:37

I'm talking today to James

0:39

Haskell. Well, I meant my dad said

0:41

to me, listen, you can either see these opportunities

0:44

come to get better, to come back in a year

0:46

and a half time trial thinking under eighteen. We

0:48

know didn't put the work, you know you didn't do what was

0:50

required, or you can just give up

0:52

and play rugby for a bit of fun. I was

0:54

in the school gym. I wasn't drinking. I was doing all

0:56

these other things and a year and a half later, I ended

0:58

up catch in your calendar eighteenth and that show being

1:00

a very short period of time that if

1:03

you work and commit and have a plan

1:05

and discipline, can get what you want. And I was

1:07

very lucky because sometimes takes people their whole life

1:09

to figure that out. People messaged all the

1:11

time on on Instagram and, know,

1:13

our just hear a couple words from you would be

1:15

motivational. I'm like, to be honest with you,

1:17

my kind of motivation to you is not what you wanna hit.

1:20

You want me to tell you a brilliant, you're a little unicorn

1:22

that it deserves everything in life. And Impossible

1:24

is nothing, where it's actually I tell you to shut up, get

1:26

on with it, and that there's no white knight gonna ride over

1:28

the hill to save you. You have to make it make

1:30

it happen, or you're gonna spend your hot

1:32

life with a perpetual life of playing everybody

1:34

else and never getting anywhere. If I feel

1:37

bad, it's ten minutes and hour tops

1:39

and then I get myself back on track what mental

1:41

health is about, not stopping yourself, having

1:43

a problem is actually getting yourself back on

1:45

track really quickly. I would essentially

1:47

always think about getting better. So,

1:50

you know, even things like we finish this this

1:52

podcasting space, we thought, oh, you know what? You

1:54

could've been better. You could've been better. I would take that

1:56

board right wouldn't take offense. I'd be like

1:58

this is how I can improve.

2:08

Do you want to stop worrying? Do

2:11

you to be able to make yourself calm

2:13

whenever you want. Do you want to

2:15

turn off fear and turn

2:17

on peace? Do you want

2:19

to relax deeply and feel really

2:22

happy? I'm Paul Let

2:24

me help you. My new book,

2:26

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2:28

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2:30

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2:32

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2:35

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2:38

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2:40

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2:43

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2:45

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2:47

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2:49

So if you want freedom from anxiety, let

2:52

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2:54

from twenty.

3:04

Hello, James. How are you doing? Oh, well, how

3:06

are you? I'm great. Thanks. So

3:09

I gotta ask you, did you have

3:11

early on in life? Like a childhood

3:13

ambition. Did you what direction your

3:15

life wanted to

3:16

go? You know what? Are you completely

3:18

truthful? I had absolutely no ambition to

3:21

to be a rugby player to do anything.

3:23

I my my sort of horizon

3:26

stood at wanting to drive a digger, and

3:28

that was what I desperately wanted to do, drive

3:30

a JCB. I quite fancy

3:32

being in the Armed Forces. was the most my

3:34

most teenage boys kinda quite obsessed with

3:36

the SAS and doing that kind of stuff. But

3:38

I was very kind of oblivious to life, really.

3:40

My my If you were to sort of dissect how

3:42

my life was lived, it was very much like on a mountain

3:44

bike or dressed in army fatigues,

3:47

coming in, getting a glass of squash, sort

3:49

of seeing, you know, from my mom then going back out again.

3:51

I sort of wasn't really cognizant of, you know,

3:53

world politics, you know, what was going

3:55

on. Just a light car too, light running around, light

3:58

sort of playing. And then kind of that ambition

4:01

that I do have now that drives everything I

4:03

do was kind of forged out

4:05

of getting onto a path and and

4:07

through failure. Really, III failed

4:09

to get into a being the number

4:11

sixteen team, which at the time,

4:13

for a privilege background, I hadn't had a lot of loss,

4:16

I hadn't had a lot of kind of concern. Obviously, I

4:18

know some people will listen and thought,

4:20

what do you know about after nature about my kind

4:22

of context. And for me, that was a very disappointing

4:24

moment where I didn't do the work.

4:26

I was supposed to do the extra training. I didn't apply

4:28

myself. And I remember my dad said to me, listen,

4:30

you can either see these opportunities come

4:33

to get better to come back in a year and a half

4:35

time trial thinking under eighteen. You know didn't

4:37

put the work, you know you didn't do what was required,

4:39

or you can just give up and play

4:41

rugby for a bit of fun. A bit like a Rocky

4:43

montage, I got bigger

4:45

and started training and started eating right

4:48

and started working harder and started sack

4:50

pricing and started doing all the

4:52

things that you do to to be successful. And

4:54

while others were faffing around, I was

4:56

out know, at at night,

4:59

you know, training in the dark during the laps. So

5:01

I was in the school gym. I wasn't drinking. I was

5:03

doing all these other things a a year and a half later.

5:05

End up capturing in the under eighteen, and that showed

5:07

in a very short period of time that

5:09

if you work and commit and have a

5:11

plan and disappear good, you can get what you want. And

5:13

I was very lucky because sometimes takes people their whole

5:16

life to figure that out where my ambition came. Once

5:18

I got a taste of it, Rugby with

5:20

them was a vehicle to fulfill an ambition because

5:22

I was then up, what's the next thing? So that's,

5:24

you know, playing for English? What's the next thing that's

5:26

playing for lines? What's an excellent play into your club

5:28

winning silverware? And then it's the same thing with with

5:30

writing a book, you know. I wanna write a book, but I want

5:32

it to a best seller. I wanna DJ,

5:34

what I wanna DJ be that I wanna make music,

5:37

I wanna work here. So that for me

5:39

has always been but there but there was no

5:41

underlying. Like, I've gotta do this. This

5:43

is my dream. So what you're describing

5:45

there was that once you've achieved one

5:47

thing, you then use that and build on it

5:49

to to achieve an

5:50

x, the x, the x, the x. One of the things I'm always

5:53

intrigued by, particularly with with

5:55

with athletes is how do you motivate

5:57

yourself? So motivation is

5:59

a really interesting thing because actually I think once

6:01

you understand that motivation is a

6:03

very transitory thing and actually to be deciding to

6:05

be avoided, to be honest with you, because motivation

6:08

comes and goes like the weather, when

6:10

you're motivated, you can achieve whatever you want.

6:12

When you're not motivated, you fail. What

6:14

what is more important is is

6:16

mental resilience. Is a

6:18

is a determination. Come what may, whatever

6:20

you feel like you're gonna get up and and

6:22

train in before. And that's why I was more interested

6:25

in that, actually, I think that kind of that

6:27

mental resilience falls in the different

6:29

buckets as it were. You know, you have

6:31

your competitive bucket. So that is, you know,

6:34

I I wake up. I don't feel motivated, but

6:36

why am I doing what I wanna do? I'm doing it because I wanna

6:38

achieve. The next thing is you have your, you know, your

6:40

kind of relatively competitive. You might have your,

6:42

you know, looking at what other people are

6:44

doing at your jealousy bucket. The

6:46

highlight that you've got I'm gonna do what they're

6:49

gonna do. You know, then it might have your kind

6:51

of your negativity bucket,

6:53

which is, you know, someone told me

6:55

I can't make it I can't do this. Well,

6:57

I'm gonna show them. And then you have your positivity.

6:59

I feel great. This is what I'm meant to do,

7:02

and you keep drawing on all of those things.

7:04

And when one is empty, you find another one

7:06

to go to. And that for me is resilience, you

7:08

know. And it and it could be, you know, the angle

7:10

one, which is you've woken up, you feel crap you

7:13

feel awful, lifestyle your bad hand,

7:15

you haven't got the job, you want, you haven't got promotion, you

7:17

want your partner to drive your mad. Well, I'm gonna

7:19

show the world because I'm gonna do it just for me. And

7:21

I think for me, that's far more important

7:23

than absolutely anything else. You know,

7:25

and I think people who look for motivation, you

7:28

know, come unstuck, you know, people messing all the time

7:30

on on Instagram. And, you know, I

7:32

I just you know, a couple words from you would be motivational.

7:35

I'm like, to be honest, my kind of

7:37

motivation to you is not what you wanna hit. You want me to

7:39

tell you're brilliant. You're a little unicorn that

7:41

it deserves everything in life and Impossible is

7:43

nothing. Whereas, actually, I'd tell you shut up, get on

7:45

with it and that there's no white night and ride over the

7:47

hill to save you. You have to make it

7:49

make it happen. Or you're gonna spend your whole

7:51

life in a perpetual cycle of blaming everybody

7:53

else and never getting anywhere? Do you

7:55

know, I I do like the way you've described

7:57

it there because Some people have this idea

7:59

that motivation is just gonna show up and make

8:02

them do it. Beautifully described, you

8:04

know, it has many forms. It can be

8:06

envy like that. Like, if they can do it, I

8:08

can do it, you know, or it can be the idea

8:10

that, you know, you've got a big dream or that you're

8:12

gonna you're gonna you're gonna show him Right. Right. They

8:14

told me I can't do it. That means I'm gonna gonna do

8:17

it. You know, I'm gonna I I find that fascinating. Can

8:19

I actually if you're having a bad

8:20

day, how do you cheer yourself up?

8:23

I actually worked very hard on my own personal

8:25

mental health in the age of seventeen. I saw a psychologist,

8:28

and I saw it as the biggest single

8:30

tool that I could improve on over

8:33

you know, again, a lot of people see it as

8:35

an afterthought. It's so it's so mad to me.

8:37

If I told you, you know, you could be you

8:39

could look better if I if you wore the shirt,

8:41

if you don't buy the shirt. If I told you, if you drunk

8:43

this protein shake, you'd get massive.

8:45

You'd buy the protein shake. If I told you, you could speak

8:47

to someone and change how you

8:49

dealt with failure, loss, success,

8:52

your partner, your emotions, your sleep,

8:54

your relationships with others, your

8:57

in a monologue, your the voice you have So if you could

8:59

you could change all of that by going to see

9:01

someone and what that someone looks like,

9:03

there's many different sort of people you

9:05

can go and see. They'll give you tools that

9:07

you revisit every day to make yourself better.

9:09

And the reason I I, you know, I have bad days

9:11

like everybody does. But the way I get back with

9:13

all the bad days is I remember all the tools that

9:15

I put in place over the years and practice every

9:18

day. So if I have a bad day now, and I'm like, well,

9:20

I have a lot. Why am I feeling bad? And I

9:22

go, right, what is it I can do about it? What is

9:24

I can control? And I I think there's four

9:26

thing. You can control you can control. How

9:28

you treat your body? You're gonna get one body.

9:30

So, you know, if you choose to ovary,

9:33

under eat, don't train saying, you

9:35

know, look after it, fill it for the drugs, whatever it

9:37

is, you know, you're gonna get one of them. How

9:39

you treat your mind? So, you know, whether you

9:42

wanna put a path to self development

9:44

the whole time where that's reading, whether that's, you know,

9:46

learning stuff, whether it's the beauty of life,

9:49

art, music, whatever that is, you know,

9:51

looking after your mind, how you treat people

9:53

is the third and how hard you work. And

9:55

if I look at it in the wild, I'm having a bad day and it's

9:57

like, oh, maybe I'm not achieving when I want to

9:59

in DJ. Well, I go back and go back,

10:01

what can I control? How much am I putting myself

10:03

out there? How much practice am I doing with DJ?

10:06

Have I reached out to others who are doing well? I wanna

10:08

do better than me and spoken to have

10:10

I analyzed and and looked over

10:12

the way I've been performing? What's my

10:14

social media presence? Like, suddenly, I've got

10:16

ten to fifteen things. That

10:19

are only maybe one or two presenters, but

10:21

I can work on it. Suddenly after that, after ten minutes,

10:23

I'm like brilliant. I'm back on track. I've got a plan. And

10:25

if things if you know, if you have a really bad day,

10:28

you know, things like music with or

10:30

or, basically, my therapist taught

10:32

me that where where focus goes, energy flow.

10:34

So if we're having a conversation now and you and I are having

10:36

a row, if you maybe laugh, the

10:38

tension is broken. If if I'm having

10:41

a bad day and I see something on a TV that

10:43

I like a movie, My attention is broken.

10:45

I stopped thinking about it. My mindset's changed.

10:47

And if you know how to trigger yourself a music

10:49

for me is a big factor. Speak to friends is a big

10:51

factor. Watching TV is that you feel good

10:53

is a is a factor. You know, spending a bit of time

10:55

on my own is is a big factor. But you only

10:58

know these things if you speak to someone and have

11:00

the awareness otherwise you're stumbling

11:02

through, you know, life with your eyes closed,

11:04

maybe once you'll hit on it. Right? But how long

11:06

will you be feeling bad for? Could be

11:08

days? Could be weeks? If I feel

11:10

bad, It's ten minutes, an hour tops,

11:12

and then I get myself back on track. And that's what mental

11:15

health is about, not stopping yourself, having a

11:17

problem is actually getting yourself back on track

11:19

really quickly.

11:21

McKenna's positivity podcast.

11:26

If you had to say, one

11:28

characteristic or character trait, that's

11:30

been your strongest that's carried you

11:32

through tough times and made you who you

11:34

are. What would you say that is?

11:36

I'd say resilience or the or the terminate

11:39

recent similar sort of factors, just

11:41

that desire to to make things happen

11:43

come what may. I just will not settle

11:45

I will not settle for anything. I won't

11:48

allow someone to tell me I can't do it. I

11:50

won't wait for stuff to happen. I won't,

11:53

you know, I will I will hustle and I

11:55

will work and I and I will be unashamed,

11:58

it asked for help. And I will also,

12:00

with that determination, be on a path

12:02

of self development. Right? I I literally

12:05

think every day how can I be better?

12:07

You know, obviously, my wife my my

12:09

wife. My wife things are going nasty. Nasty

12:12

personality disorder things. I think I'm the greatest

12:14

thing since sliced bread. Unfortunately, you know, sometimes

12:16

people closest, you can't see the so the so the wood

12:18

for the trees. But I would essentially always

12:21

think about getting better So, you know,

12:23

even things like we finish this this this podcast,

12:25

these guys will, oh, you know what? You could be

12:28

better. You could be better. I would take that board a

12:30

right I wouldn't take offense. I'd be like, this is how

12:32

I can improve. So think the determination and

12:34

the desire to consistently get better

12:36

and realize you've never made it are probably

12:38

the the the keys. Is there anything

12:41

in value that perhaps people

12:43

don't know that would surprise them? Ironically,

12:45

I'm I'm actually got a digger drive a

12:47

license two drive digger thousand above site

12:49

work in any building site in the UK. That's

12:51

probably the only logistical qualification I

12:53

I have that. And I did a barista

12:56

course, so I could take a key work in Costa

12:58

if if all else fails. I'm

13:01

trying to think what else I what else I what

13:03

people might not know about me really? Mean,

13:05

those two those two are a good good place. I should say,

13:07

well, this is priority for us to move it,

13:09

but didn't get it. What was the part of? I can't

13:11

remember what his name is now. He he he he's

13:14

one who tried to date Hermione. He's a bit of a

13:16

slave. He's supposed to be a a crack in his

13:18

name was or something like that. Basically, he was

13:20

supposed to be somebody who flirted with them

13:22

Hermione. Was going to take him a

13:24

day was a real sort of sports meathead. Obviously,

13:26

I went in there. I mean, I would've I would've

13:28

like had grid if they'd put me on screen

13:30

with the rest of them. So unfortunately, I mean, it

13:32

doesn't matter how wooden my acting was. They were never

13:35

gonna put me next to you, but I'm on a great job.

13:37

It wouldn't look like a freak. And obviously, the guy did it.

13:39

Was call Matt McCraggart, I think his name was

13:41

was the character. I never got

13:43

it.

13:43

What would you say your proudest achievement is?

13:45

Well, apart from I mean, speaking of parents

13:48

who he said it's but I'm from siring

13:51

my my daughter who is just six

13:53

months, who's who's best thing ever. Think

13:55

that's kind of what people feel like they should say.

13:57

I mean, I'm not sure how much role I played, you know. Just did

13:59

what I just did what I have to become

14:01

super relapsed or, you know, natural

14:03

to humans. My wife sort of did the did the rest

14:06

of it. Aside from that, I'd say,

14:08

for me, winning the the grand

14:10

slam in six nations with England

14:12

purely because know, it's over the last time

14:14

they've done it it was in two thousand

14:16

and three. I've lost in three other

14:19

final grounds land games. Which

14:21

was, you know, which is pretty rare, had the opportunity to

14:23

do it three times, twice tied and won

14:25

to Wales. And then to finally win it

14:27

in two thousand sixteen under Eddie Jones.

14:30

Six months after that particular

14:32

team was thrown out of their own own World

14:34

Cup in the pool stages under a different coach

14:37

just to show that motivation,

14:40

different management, enjoyment, and

14:43

kind of all the things we've talked about so far as podcast

14:45

coming together. Can lead a team of success

14:47

with only a few tweaks. If you

14:49

look back on your life so far,

14:51

is there anything you wish you'd done more of

14:53

or less of? I wish I'd let's shut

14:56

my mouth more. Probably,

14:59

it'd be a good a good start.

15:03

You know what? I think I there's one thing I regret.

15:05

I wish I'd I'd taken more control

15:07

of my my rugby career. I mean, I was very

15:09

good at it. I was very selfish

15:11

in regards to what was important to me. I was still

15:13

very much a team man, but I was still allowed to

15:15

be talked into probably training too much

15:18

doing extra things I shouldn't have done forcing

15:20

myself through paying.

15:22

And obviously, now I'm paying paying for that a little

15:25

bit. You know, I've had since I retired and

15:27

I've authorized my name call up that spinal surgery.

15:29

I've got my fingers all screwed up, you know.

15:31

My neck's not great. So there's loads of things I

15:33

I don't know that was a byproduct road, but they

15:35

regret it, but I think I could've taken more control

15:37

because I allowed others I waited for other

15:39

people to take the initiative when I should've done it myself.

15:42

And I can say the other one who just chucked my mouth really.

15:44

So oh, well, You know, it's just to argue with

15:46

people on social media remembering that.

15:48

It absolutely gets you nowhere. It's pointless.

15:50

It's like blue ball doesn't get a window. And

15:52

all it does is that it costs me money from sponsors

15:54

because unfortunately, if you are in public, I

15:56

will be a Z list of everybody like, alright, you will

15:58

not afford the same luxury of of telling people

16:00

where to go. They can say, well, they want you can't because

16:03

people go, you can't be thinking that when you're representing

16:05

our company. So I I had a pack

16:07

two two years ago that I respond to anyone

16:09

anymore. And my life is much more fulfilled.

16:11

Have you ever been starstruck? I have actually

16:13

once when I was younger, with a with a ironic

16:15

guy a guy called Martha Johnson, who who

16:17

was a was a public company named England

16:20

Coach, a very famous world cup winner in Captain

16:22

England two thousand and three. He's

16:24

probably only person where I was a bit lost the

16:26

words on a song. He's a he's a giant of a man. He's

16:28

like six foot six. Huge

16:30

bloke. Very kind of he's from leicester,

16:33

very, you know, It's actually very friendly,

16:35

but it looks got kind of a dour expression, and it

16:37

it it was quite intimidating. I think I was only seventeen,

16:39

and I was I

16:42

didn't know what to say. It's been been then

16:45

I haven't I haven't really but again,

16:47

unfortunately, I'm you know, I'm you

16:49

know, I'm also of staff start meeting you

16:51

today, but apart from apart from

16:53

now I haven't met you know, I wonder if I

16:55

met the rock or or

16:58

someone like that maybe or Tom Cruise

17:00

or whatever Brad Pitt. I wonder what would

17:02

what would happen, but I think I've become so jaded

17:04

by life and so sort of realized

17:06

that the humanity is all flawed

17:09

and that it doesn't matter whether you've got

17:11

a famous molecule or all the money in the world,

17:13

we are all exactly the same. And

17:15

people keep forgetting that. People put people on pedestals

17:18

and are perpetually disappointed in what they find. They're

17:20

always so shocked when they find out

17:22

that celebs are just normal people. We

17:24

are. It's up in the it's up the royal family. They're just

17:26

a dysfunctional family. Like, forget about it.

17:28

So I've sort of already got it,

17:30

Jay. So I don't know who it would who it would

17:32

take to make me make me lose my

17:34

mind, but I don't think many people actually Can

17:36

I ask him what makes you happy? That

17:38

is very good question, actually. Since retirement,

17:41

because I've always been on this path of

17:43

doing better. You often don't sit

17:45

and reflect recipe

17:48

to success can be always wanting to get better. It's

17:50

always been self deprecating. But if you never

17:52

celebrate those successes, are you ever happier?

17:55

As I've got older, I think happy happiness

17:57

for me is spending time with with friends

17:59

and family over lunch, good

18:01

food, drinking, you know, like

18:03

a nice bottle of rosette in the sun, having

18:06

a cigar, you know, time

18:08

on my own. You know, I I will go everywhere

18:10

with my laptop, and you'll see me. And I always

18:12

treat myself. I was I was I was doing

18:14

a podcast of the day. And and one of the I forgot the

18:17

guy had had had

18:19

walked past me in SoHo, and I knew him and

18:21

he walked past his so in summer, I'd come down

18:23

to a podcast. It was just after lockdown

18:25

had finished. And I was sitting outside

18:27

a a restaurant and I was on my own. And

18:29

I thought, you know what? Got extra hour. I texted

18:32

my wife. I said, there's things meetings went on, so I treat

18:34

myself lobster. And I ordered myself a lobster, and

18:37

I had bottle of serving of broth. And the globe all

18:39

passed, and it was like, Are you

18:41

having a lobster and a pot of wine? Are you

18:43

right, man? I was like, yeah, I am.

18:45

I've got a picture of this. Like, what are you

18:47

doing? This is about booby things. I've

18:50

ever seen. And I'll be honest with you, I had

18:52

my phone set up, I had my headphones in,

18:54

my phone propped on the salt seller, watching

18:56

a movie, eat a drink. For me, that was my happy

18:58

place. Very, very relaxed. Very quick calm.

19:00

But, you know, I always treat myself because,

19:02

you know, what's point of trying to learn some cash without the craft

19:04

yourself?

19:05

Can I ask you, what what are you working on at the

19:07

moment? What's what's going on at the moment? So we've

19:09

got I've got a tool coming up called sex

19:11

tries and videotape, kind of it's basically

19:13

two blocks of forty five minutes meet recounted

19:15

stories from my career. There's little bit of

19:17

stand up thrown in there as well. It's basically meant

19:20

to be funny. It's meant to be all

19:22

the stuff you wouldn't normally here

19:24

kind of around the England team, around

19:27

my club team, around my time in Paris. So,

19:30

you know, that's take up my time. I'm writing that

19:32

at the moment. And then I'm I've just agreed

19:34

ten days and I beat it to DJ this summer,

19:37

which is massive for me. And I've just signed two more

19:39

two more records to to tool room,

19:41

the record

19:41

labels. So, yeah, I'm I'm very, very busy at the moment.

19:43

I'm trying to be a dad and keep my wife

19:46

happy. So I'm I'm I've got a lot on my

19:48

player at the moment. Just two questions,

19:50

James. If you had one

19:52

piece of advice to give people

19:54

from everything that you've learned in life so

19:56

far, what would that piece of advice be?

19:59

You can lie to everyone else, but you can't lie to

20:01

yourself. And think

20:03

that is true now than than

20:05

ever. In a world of social

20:07

media, of parents, of

20:09

lack of fact, of detail of

20:12

feelings being more important than

20:15

fax, which is bizarre. We've

20:17

got yourself such a mix mess. I

20:19

think only you know when the lights go

20:21

off, the phone goes down at night. What

20:23

the truth is, whether you are being the

20:25

best person you've yourself, are you actually putting

20:27

the work and are you being a good person?

20:29

Do you really work with your relationship?

20:32

You know, are you trying to achieve or you can achieve?

20:34

And and you can't escape those voices.

20:36

People are great. Humans are great. But

20:39

technically, they don't they don't hear and wanna make excuses

20:41

for them. But, you know, you can tell everyone whatever

20:43

they wanna hear. Potentially, want only you

20:45

have the voices. And if your voices are saying especially

20:48

around men, you know, men, you know, a biggest killer of men under

20:50

forty suicide, you know, there's a lot of men putting

20:52

a lot of provider out there, and the voices in the head

20:54

are telling them something completely different. And, you

20:56

know, you you can't light yourself. If you need help,

20:58

go and get it. And and I think for me, that's one

21:00

of the best things I I've ever got because I I will

21:02

catch myself making excuses. You

21:05

know, for example, if my talk

21:07

isn't a success, you know, did I put the work in?

21:09

Do I do it? Of course, I can say to everyone, I was

21:11

the audience, I was COVID, I was the numbers.

21:13

If that's matter

21:14

is. I know that the the details.

21:16

And for me, that's the most important factor. And

21:18

finally, is there anything that I haven't

21:20

asked you that you think I should? So if

21:22

you were including James House or what would she

21:24

ask

21:24

them? Oh, that's a very good question.

21:29

No. Well, I no. I mean, I've I've sort of

21:31

touched on it there. I think I think there's you

21:33

know, I I am perceived

21:35

right there wrongly as a

21:37

bit of a meathead alpha alpha

21:39

male. And I think one

21:42

thing that that people always perceive

21:44

is that, you know, that you wouldn't have bad days, you wouldn't

21:47

have things to

21:49

work on and that, you know, somehow bottling

21:51

all this stuff up and never addressing it is is

21:54

sign of strength. And actually, for for

21:56

any men listen to to the podcast,

21:58

you know, everyone's got something going

22:00

on. Everyone's got things

22:02

they need to work on. You know, go out and

22:04

go out and do that, you know, go out and reach out. I I

22:06

had those at good days, but I worked on it continuously.

22:09

And I think help people probably

22:11

assume you don't do that because you're always positive. I'm

22:13

always positive. I'm always, you know, people follow me social media.

22:15

Like, Christ, how are you doing all this stuff? And it's

22:17

like, you know, it sometimes comes at comes

22:19

at a cost, comes at a price, but I put

22:21

the time in to work it and analyze it and and

22:23

to address it. And I think, for me,

22:25

that's probably one of the most important important

22:27

messages I can give anyone because if if

22:30

one person listens to this, he he thinks, you

22:32

know, what? Maybe I need somebody put some

22:34

work and I'll speak to someone or address something just,

22:36

you

22:36

know, do it because that's the only the the the thing

22:38

that will save you life. I think wise words.

22:40

James has been a real pleasure talking

22:42

with you today,

22:44

and thanks for spending some time. Sharing

22:47

an an insight into the way you think and

22:49

your

22:50

world. Paul, you're a legend. It's great to finally

22:52

meet you. Thanks. Have me on. The

22:53

positive be podcast with Paul

22:56

Good

22:56

evening yourself, positive outlook. I think

22:59

be negative doesn't get you anywhere. I work hard

23:01

at my brain. I work hard at my card and I work

23:03

hard at looking after people.

23:04

Also, I've had some setbacks, but they've been

23:06

tiny compared to the McKenna's, and I had

23:08

the successes in the right order, I visualize

23:11

my dreams, and then I walk towards them and I'll make

23:13

them reality. I'm not my most positive

23:15

when I'm doing something positive, so I

23:17

need a plan. As positive experience

23:19

you can have is when you are earning

23:22

and it doesn't feel like work. I love doing

23:24

a lot of different things, but when I'm doing one

23:26

thing, I focus on it. So think

23:28

That is the secret of success. Everything

23:30

that I've experienced and I've done

23:33

positive or negative, however it's

23:35

viewed, I'm now in position

23:38

where I could be kinder to myself,

23:40

which means I could be kinder to the people I

23:42

love. The human mind is the most powerful

23:44

muscle in the body. And, you know,

23:47

really anything is

23:48

possible. Not immediately, but everything

23:50

is possible of patience and perseverance. The

23:52

positivity podcast with

23:54

Paul McKenna.

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