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Hello. Hello. Hello listeners of piece by pieces.

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Hey welcome. It's actually I'm here to talk to you today.

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I took a little Breaky break.

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My daughter's birthday was the beginning of

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April and there was a big lead up to her

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birthday and there's a lot of things happening.

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So this did not happen, but now it's

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happened. So here I am.

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Um, you know, she turned seven which I'm

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gonna have an upcoming episode kind of

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going through. That her birthday and some deeper stuff and

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what turning seven means and some

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realizations I had as it was all unfolding.

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But anyway that is coming up in in a couple

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of episodes. the episode I have for you today is about

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it's about priorities which is

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you know on the surface like a really boring topic.

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It's a really boring thing.

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It's not something that anyone wants to

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like look at. and I'm there with you in a lot of ways,

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but I think when we when we

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avoid it What were what we're really doing is we are

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letting our personal power.

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slip through our fingers and

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yeah, so this this all came to me.

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Like on April 1st. you know the the Turning of a month like in

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the planner that I use there's like

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You know like a monthly review thing that I

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used to not even do like I used to skip right on past that like, you know, oh, it's

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your wins for the week. And what was what did you learn this week

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and this month? What was your biggest takeaways from this month? What's your

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status and blah blah blah, like, you know,

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I used to just like breeze right by that stuff and leave those pages blank because I

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didn't I didn't I thought it I didn't think it was stupid.

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Like I got it but it was like mad. I don't need that.

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I don't need that. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it so it didn't.

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But I don't know maybe about eight months ago.

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Maybe more. Maybe it's been on a year.

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I don't really know. I started doing it.

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I started doing the the monthly review and

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sometimes I do the weekly I kind of do the

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weekly on my own in a different way, but the monthly review like looking back on a

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month because often I found myself getting

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to the end of the month and being like man,

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I am not where I thought I was gonna be I

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am not where I wanted to be this isn't done yet.

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This isn't done yet, you know, like the list of things that are not done yet was

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was always there and every single time that

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I like looked back through what what had

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happened in the past month. things that I had accomplished that I set

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out to do things that happened or

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realizations that happened or Epiphany is

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or growth things that I did not plan on

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happening happening and

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so many other things that every time I did

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it it gave me such a feeling of

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accomplishment and satisfaction and peace

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of like no I am I am doing this.

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I did do these things. And that's pretty awesome.

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And this particular time on April?

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it was this feeling of like a brand new month like it feels

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significant. The blank pages of a brand new month a

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brand new quarter in this case April brand

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new quarter, you know a business in the

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business World a new week a new day.

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Like yes, yes, this this actually happens

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every day. It actually happens every day this feeling

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of newness. It's not just Monday's it's not just the

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first of the month. It's not just some arbitrary day in the

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middle of winter. Meaning New Year's Day.

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It feels

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significant because it is significant.

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and when something feels significant

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so many of us that have or have had this lens of black

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and white this lens of All or Nothing.

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The that that type of thing right that

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feeling of significance can sometimes be

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immediately paired with anxiety and not

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enoughness. And not feeling enough.

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Like I hadn't hadn't even lived.

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The week yet, but there was already not enough of it.

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This was also the day before not the day

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before but the beginning day of the week of my daughter's birthday and like so there

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was um, you know, there were there were

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business-y things that I had wanted to accomplish there were some personal things

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that I wanted to accomplish there was the

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the planning and the buying and the

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organizing and the wrapping and the party

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stuff of everything that needed to be done.

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I was also we went camping for the eclipse.

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So the day after her birthday party we were

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leaving to go camping for two nights. So there was like that prep that needed to

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happen too. So like here I was on the Monday and I

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hadn't even lived that weekend. But there I was feeling like there was

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already not enough of it. And and feelings are real.

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Emotions are real thoughts are real.

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They are valid. They are messengers and

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the truth The truth is the truth.

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Is that that day and week just like all

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days and weeks. There's the same amount of days in this

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week as they're always is the truth is that

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there is the same amount of minutes in this

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week as they're always is and the truth is

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that I get to choose how to spend those

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minutes and days. like I always

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get to choose how to spend those minutes

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and days just like you get to choose how

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you spend those minutes and days just like

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anybody does. And this pressure this anxiety this feeling

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like there is more stuff to stuff and

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there's more more to stuff into this box

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than will fit that gave me like these like

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not enough by before I even got started the

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that is just a thought that that not enough

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feeling that is just a thought.

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It's just a thought inside of me carrying

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the wise message here of

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priorities priorities priorities

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priorities are choices. priorities are opportunities to flex

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our free will priorities are the opportunities to flex

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our self-control. Priorities are saying yes.

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Priorities are saying no. Priorities are saying no and yes that can

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that can be hard. There can be all kinds of layers go along

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with that and priorities are awesome saying yes.

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And saying yes can be hard too saying yes

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to the things that you do want. Because they often means saying no to

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something else right doesn't know he's but

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we play that game in our mind right

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priorities come with lots of stories.

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Our minds are filled with all kinds of

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information around what should be a

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priority should in quotation marks should

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and italics should and priority means it

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Priority a priority means it's important

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means it's important means it's important to you.

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It's something that you value. It's a priority.

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The missed opportunity is when we often

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feel like priorities control us.

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instead of the other way around

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we've been programmed since birth.

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Around like what is important Quinn quotes

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important? by our parents by our siblings by other

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family members teachers coaches TV music media

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We have been given this Vision this concept

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this pretty picture not sometimes not so

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pretty picture of like what should be

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important. These are the things that are important.

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These are the things that you should prioritize we've been gifted though.

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Those those are gifted priorities. Those are gifted priorities.

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And just like anything that you've ever

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been gifted. You are not obligated to keep it.

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You're not obligated to keep it. So setting priorities does not sound like

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fun to the average person.

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I would say. On this April 1st.

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It didn't sound like fun to me.

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It was kind of like a begrudgingly.

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piece of wisdom handed to me of like

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It's almost synonymous with like that.

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Grown in my head like ah.

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Why? and I think it's because

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setting priorities is often feels linked to

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change. And we don't like change just humans don't

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like change. Our body doesn't like to change our mind

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doesn't like change. Our thoughts will fight against change

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because on the other side of change, it's

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unfamiliar. And our brain does not like what is

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unfamiliar because it's not known which

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means it's scary. Our brain like what is familiar it like

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what we know. And like where we're comfortable like

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swear, we're safe where we know what's gonna happen.

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When we know what it's like we know we know and that's familiar comfortable and safe.

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even even if it's Not in our greatest good even if it's

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unhealthy, even if it's detrimental to us

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in so many other ways. Priority setting priorities feels linked to

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change and we don't like to change unless

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we're the ones that want the change.

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But don't you want your priorities? What

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are you prioritizing right now? Don't you want those things shouldn't the

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things that you prioritize be things that

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you want? setting priorities doesn't sound like fun

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because it sounds like we're gonna have to stop doing the things that we want to do

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and start doing things that we don't want to do and maybe

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maybe it does tend to feel that way on the

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surface. On the surface anyway.

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And that's just the thought that's just a

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belief. That's just a feeling. And it makes sense given our social

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conditioning of sacrifice and burdens and

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whose is this. What's my fault their fault?

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but what if but what if

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setting priorities Was actually the Gateway.

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to health and happiness What if setting priorities is actually the

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yellow brick road to Joy and purpose and

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the actual essence of life?

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What if saying no to the things that are

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draining you? things that you don't

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you don't actually have to do. And what if what if it's actually saying

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yes to the things that you do really want?

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Even if it's not something that you'll get

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with the with the snap of a fingers.

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What if setting priorities is gathering up

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all of those gifts those gifted priorities

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that you don't really like? That don't bring you Joy that have just

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been stuffed in the closet taking up space.

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What if you gather up all that stuff and

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traded it in for things that you love?

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If you traded it in for things that you loved or sold it and use that money to buy

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something that you loved or just simply Let It Go.

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So that that space was available for

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whatever something else that you love.

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Oh, but what about those people that gifted

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me? Those things won't they be hurt won't

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they be disappointed won't they get mad?

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What if they stop loving me? What if they reject me? What if they abandoned me? What

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if they asked me about the gift ask me if

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I've been using it? See me using or doing something else and

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and they're like but I gave you this thing.

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You should be using it. That's why I gave it to you.

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Okay, maybe sure maybe maybe but that's on them.

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Like that's that's them. That's them and you're not here.

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To fit and mold yourself. falsely

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to make others happy and it doesn't mean you throw it in their

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face and say I hate this gift.

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Why did you give it to me? Anyway, it's not

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black and white. It's not black and white you can

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communicate clearly and kindly that you

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have made a different choice. That doesn't mean that they were wrong or bad.

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Or that you are wrong or bad just

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different. And you're choosing something differently.

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back to that blank page that blank calendar

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blank month blank quarter blank gear

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Head of you. I don't know about you, but my perception.

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Is also flavored with the black and white

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all-or-nothing. Season the day or living your best life or

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shooting for the stars and all those metaphors often brings with it.

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At least for me. Let me know if you're different.

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But those things often like seem to point

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towards this extravagant image of something

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great extraordinary Instagram worthy worth

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wild exciting in these going all out.

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type of thing which is just another made-up construct.

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It's a pendulum swing from one side of the

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spectrum to the other. I was recently catching up with an old

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friend and I asked what they've been up to and they said nothing exciting just work

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and school and meals and hanging out at the house.

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And while I do love my exciting and I love

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my fun and I love my travel. I also know that life.

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mostly happens in the little moments

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life and love exists in a good morning hug

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life and love and purpose exists in getting

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your child's favorite Stuffy from the bedroom.

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Life exists in nourishing your body with

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good food. life exists and maintaining your health

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love exists and putting your reaction on a

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shelf and just being with your child that

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is having a hard time. Peace exists in being happy and joyful

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Where Are You Are? right now

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not wishing that you were someplace else not wishing.

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Everything was different. And also understanding that life is not

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stagnant. That there are far more every day moments.

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Then there are extraordinary. And maybe the sum of those everyday moments

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actually outweighs any and all of the

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extraordinary. Setting priorities often feels like being

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put in time out. Being sent to your room being grounded

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going think about what you've done and how

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you can make better choices. gross

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setting priorities for your health can can

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carry this voice of but we won't get to eat

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all the things that we love. But we won't but we'll have to get up at 6 a.m.

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And exercise and nobody wants to do that.

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We'll have to buy all new clothes because

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nothing will fit and I don't have money for that.

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But we just went grocery shopping and I'm not gonna let all this food go to waste so

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I'll start next week. stories

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There's so many stories. Setting priorities for your child's

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childhood probably has little to do with them.

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And much more to do with you.

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I don't believe it's found in attending the

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best schools having the best vacations

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having all the toys having the best sports

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equipments teams coaches going to daily

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activities groups and lessons. I believe setting priority for your child's

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childhood is them having a parent?

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That they need for their highest and

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healthiest physical mental emotional

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development. And that parent is the one that they have.

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Its you too, Mama.

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It's you. And I know your mama heart and you know

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your mama heart. Your innermost heart where your

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unconditional love for them lives.

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You know that part of you. And it may be up near the surface and it

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may be deep down in there, but you know it. right

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Don't you? Do you?

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And I know that you're often like an angry

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lava monster in the lush green Life Giving

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mother Island. Moana reference if he didn't catch

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and Here Comes Your Kids seeking connection

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like Moana on a wooden raft and you're

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throwing flaming rocks at them. That's not who you are.

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You Know Who You Are the highest priority for your child's

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childhood and not just their childhood because this

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is human development. This is human development foundation for

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the rest of their lives. It lies in you Mama.

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It lies in you uncovering and accessing and

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bombing. from your heart of hearts

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She's in there. She's in you.

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I know it. She is you.

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So why are you throwing flaming rocks at

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your kids? You get angry Lava Monster.

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So if you're like, how how Ashley how I'm

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not in lava monster, no one stole my heart.

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No one's trying to put it back. And if they did I'm not just gonna Sprout

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flowers and trees from a butt and you're

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right you're not. But there is some truth there, isn't that?

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Isn't there hidden in that metaphor?

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And I love you. I love your kids and I love any and all

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future Generations that will come from you. I also love the generations that line up

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behind you your parents your grandparents

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great grandparents. It's crazy when you think about it, don't do it.

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All those people behind you that led up to

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you and all the people that will come from

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you into the future. And here you are you're right here right

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now mama. Here you are. You are right here right now.

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Here you are. And maybe it's time for you to course,

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correct? Because some things have definitely gone wonky.

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Not just in you but in past generations and

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in the world and society and culture

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and you you feel it in your bones. Sometimes it keeps you up at night.

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And your motherhood doesn't have to be like this. And neither does their childhood.

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and if this is you want to invite you to click the link below

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that's in the show notes below. to apply for a free DM conversation with me

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to uncover What's blocking you what could

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be blocking you from having a guilt-free?

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Enjoy full motherhood and childhood.

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It's free zero pressure just a gentle

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loving conversation. With me and if you're interested in taking

21:52

any additional stuff beyond that, I have

21:54

various options from minimal time energy

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money commitments to go in all in.

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Let's turn this ship around. There is something that'll work for you.

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I know it because I just find it this way. I can't wait to hear from you.

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Click the link below and let's chat.

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You are the one. And now is the time.

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I have an awesome week and I'll see you on the next episode of Peace by pieces

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unpacking The Human Experience. Thank you so much for listening. Bye.