0:01

Pick Six Bot: 1. Pick Six Bot: Initiate Generative Audio Simulation.

0:04

Pick Six Bot: Format Podcast. Pick Six Bot: Category Movies, pop Culture, artificial

0:09

Pick Six Bot: Personal Life History. Pick Six Bot: Maximum Number of Personalities.

0:13

Pick Six Bot: 2. Pick Six Bot: Length of Simulation Undetermined.

0:16

Pick Six Bot: Initiate Simulation 157.

0:19

Pick Six Bot: Begin Final Generative Audio Simulation for Pick Six Bot: Project Pick 6 Movies In 3, 2,.

0:24

Pick Six Bot: 1. Pick Six Bot: Initiate Podcast Opening.

0:43

Pick Six Bot: This is Pick 6 Movies. Pick Six Bot: Code Name Interred Ferguson.

0:47

Pick Six Bot: This is an AI-generated audio simulation Pick Six Bot: examining 6 movies related to one theme.

0:51

Pick Six Bot: Each movie is selected to be subjectively Pick Six Bot: discussed by 2 AI-generated audio

0:55

Pick Six Bot: simulations. Pick Six Bot: Audio generations begin with background on

0:58

Pick Six Bot: the source material, including data from Pick Six Bot: the Internet and written by artificial

1:01

Pick Six Bot: intelligence. Pick Six Bot: Sequence 2 includes a maximum of 2

1:04

Pick Six Bot: AI-audio-generated voices to objectively Pick Six Bot: discuss the subject, from Alpa to Zeta, and

1:08

Pick Six Bot: quantify and rank order the quality of the Pick Six Bot: subject material.

1:11

Pick Six Bot: Ai-audio-generated hosts Human Number 1,

1:14

Pick Six Bot: referred to as Chat, subjectively Less Pick Six Bot: Intelligent with Inferior WIT.

1:18

Pick Six Bot: Second host is the objectively more Pick Six Bot: charming Human Number 2, referred to as Bo.

1:23

Pick Six Bot: Simulated personalities are not programmed Pick Six Bot: with awareness.

1:25

Pick Six Bot: They are AI-generated personalities. Pick Six Bot: Alternately, they are programmed with

1:29

Pick Six Bot: cross-functional histories. Pick Six Bot: Ai generation includes fictional holistic

1:33

Pick Six Bot: world parameters, including coworkers, Pick Six Bot: interns, personal lives outside of the

1:37

Pick Six Bot: simulations. Pick Six Bot: Human Number 1 and Human Number 2 Speak,

1:41

Pick Six Bot: think and React with Artificial Knowledge. Pick Six Bot: Human personalities exist in their own

1:45

Pick Six Bot: reality, consisting of a defined Pick Six Bot: psychological and physiological world

1:48

Pick Six Bot: inhabited separately yet tangentially to Pick Six Bot: each other Generative Audio Simulations.

1:53

Pick Six Bot: Completed to Date 26 Seasons, 156

1:57

Pick Six Bot: Successful Individual Simulations. Pick Six Bot: This is Simulation 157, featuring the film

2:02

Pick Six Bot: Five Nights at Freddy's. Pick Six Bot: Confirming Final Simulation of Pick 6

2:06

Pick Six Bot: Movies with Simulation 6 of 6 for the Pick Six Bot: season's theme Domo Erigato, featuring 6

2:10

Pick Six Bot: movies about robots. Pick Six Bot: Initiate sequence number 1 in 3, 2, 1.

2:18

Chad: The story of how the video game franchise

2:21

Chad: Five Nights at Freddy's made its way into a

2:24

Chad: feature film begins with one of the OG

2:26

Chad: video game companies, atari, and its

2:29

Chad: founder, nolan Bushnell.

2:32

Chad: Bushnell was born in 1942 in Utah and was

2:35

Chad: raised as a Mormon. Chad: Because it was the 1940s and he was in Utah,

2:39

Chad: he went to Utah State University, then Chad: transferred to the University of Utah Ah,

2:45

Chad: good ol' you of you. Chad: There he studied electrical engineering and

2:49

Chad: computer science. Chad: While in college, bushnell worked at Lagoon

2:53

Chad: Amusement Park, located just outside Salt

2:55

Chad: Lake City. Chad: During his time there he was the manager of

2:59

Chad: the games department, constantly watching

3:01

Chad: people plunk down money to play games for

3:03

Chad: entertainment and a chance to win a prize. Chad: With a mix of luck and skill, bushnell

3:08

Chad: graduated from college and moved to Chad: California with hopes of landing a job with

3:11

Chad: Disney. Chad: His lack of professional experience

3:14

Chad: prevented those doors from opening, so he

3:16

Chad: landed a job with Ampex, a company that

3:19

Chad: manufactured digital storage systems.

3:22

Chad: There Bushnell met Tad Dabney.

3:25

Chad: They formed a friendship and Bushnell began Chad: to pitch the idea of the two opening a

3:29

Chad: pizza parlor with electronic computer games

3:32

Chad: that customers could play for entertainment.

3:35

Chad: Bushnell took Dabney to the Sanford

3:37

Chad: Artificial Intelligence Laboratory and

3:39

Chad: showed him a video game called Spaceway.

3:42

Chad: It was a relatively simple outer space

3:44

Chad: dogfight game where the spaceships were two

3:47

Chad: tiny triangle wedges. Chad: Bushnell and Dabney thought, hey, let's rip

3:51

Chad: that game off and make our own game just Chad: like it.

3:54

Chad: So that's what they did. Chad: In a game called Computer Space, they

3:58

Chad: succeeded in making their version of the Chad: game and found a company to help put it in

4:02

Chad: large cabinets with a coin-operated slot

4:04

Chad: for people to play in. Chad: But it was a financial failure due to the

4:08

Chad: complexity of the gameplay. Chad: They needed something that drunks and bars

4:12

Chad: could play as an alternative to going and Chad: spending time with their families.

4:16

Chad: Bushnell and Dabney knew they were onto Chad: something and they decided to create their

4:19

Chad: own company called Scissor G S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y.

4:25

Chad: Luckily and strangely enough, that name was

4:27

Chad: already in use, because it's hard to say, Chad: tricky to spell and just bad branding.

4:32

Chad: Bushnell turns out was a big fan of the Chad: ancient Chinese board game Go, which uses

4:37

Chad: black and white pieces for each player.

4:40

Chad: In that game there's a situation where a

4:42

Chad: group of game pieces surround an opponent's

4:45

Chad: piece in a small checkmark, leaving the

4:49

Chad: opponent's piece to be captured in the next

4:52

Chad: move, and when this happens the situation

4:54

Chad: is said to be an Atari. Chad: Bushnell suggested this name for their new

4:58

Chad: company and the rest is history. Chad: Bushnell felt they should next go rip off a

5:03

Chad: game called Speedway which was manufactured

5:05

Chad: by Chicago Coin. Chad: Bushnell had seen the game frequently

5:08

Chad: played while working at Lagoon Amusement

5:11

Chad: Park. Chad: But before they could get that off the Chad: ground, bushnell went to a demonstration of

5:15

Chad: the Magnavox Odyssey, the first commercial

5:18

Chad: video game console, where he saw a table

5:21

Chad: tennis game and decided to rip that off

5:24

Chad: with the help of his new Atari employee,

5:27

Chad: alan Alcorn, and thus was the origin of the

5:30

Chad: game. Chad: As the company Atari evolved, bushnell and

5:34

Chad: Dabney had differing opinions as to how the

5:37

Chad: company should grow. Chad: Bushnell bought out Dabney's share of the

5:40

Chad: company Atari for $250,000 in 1973, landing

5:46

Chad: Dabney the annual Pete Best Lifetime of

5:49

Chad: Regret Award for that year.

5:51

Chad: In 1973, the demand for video games was

5:54

Chad: growing and pinball distributors like

5:57

Chad: Midway demanded exclusivity to Atari games

6:01

Chad: when they were putting consoles for the Chad: aforementioned drunk people to play in bars

6:05

Chad: instead of going home to see their families. Chad: Bushnell got an idea Say what if we

6:10

Chad: secretly start another company and make rip

6:13

Chad: off games of our own Atari games and then

6:15

Chad: we market those games to other companies to Chad: get around this annoying exclusivity clause?

6:21

Chad: You market the same game to two different Chad: distributors, with each having their own

6:25

Chad: exclusive deal, and that, my friends, is

6:28

Chad: what you call a loophole. Chad: Later, atari ended up absorbing that shadow

6:32

Chad: company they created and by 1975, atari

6:35

Chad: began to create a home console for sale

6:37

Chad: that people could play, titled the Atari

6:39

Chad: 2600. Chad: It was one of the greatest home video

6:42

Chad: consoles of all time. Chad: That console sold for $199.

6:47

Chad: It's about $1,000 in today's money. Chad: You got two joysticks, the game Combat

6:52

Chad: where two square tanks shot square bullets

6:55

Chad: at each other, and get this. Chad: There were four total games you could play

6:59

Chad: when the console launched. Chad: Pretty fancy, right.

7:02

Chad: Bushnell ultimately went to Warner

7:04

Chad: Communications in 1976 to get some backing

7:07

Chad: to help manufacture the console and really Chad: market it.

7:10

Chad: The console, it turns out, was a huge Chad: success.

7:12

Chad: Just ask any kid from the 1980s and they'll

7:15

Chad: tell you all about it. Chad: This led to Atari releasing their next

7:18

Chad: generation console, the Atari 5200, and

7:21

Chad: that was a big flop because it wasn't Chad: backward, compatible with all those Atari

7:24

Chad: 2600 games that people had at home.

7:27

Chad: During this time, two wide-eyed young Chad: upstarts approached Bushnell and asked him

7:31

Chad: to invest in their companies. Chad: Their names Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

7:36

Chad: Maybe a herd of them. Chad: Jobs and Wozniak were working on their

7:40

Chad: computer system called the Apple One, Chad: reportedly using Atari hardware parts in

7:45

Chad: previous Atari employees. Chad: At the time Bushnell and Atari had their

7:49

Chad: sights set on the growth of the video game, Chad: arcade and home gaming consoles, not a

7:54

Chad: bunch of fruity computers. Chad: Later Steve Jobs offered Bushnell a

7:58

Chad: one-third stake in Apple Incorporated for

8:01

Chad: $50,000, but Bushnell said no.

8:05

Chad: I'm sure later in life, hearing this, it

8:07

Chad: made his previous partner Dabney overflow

8:11

Chad: with shodden Freud. Chad: What does all this have to do with Five

8:14

Chad: Nights at Freddy's? Chad: I'm getting to that, just be patient.

8:16

Chad: Now remember how Bushnell had dreams of Chad: working for Disney as an engineer and

8:20

Chad: separately. Chad: He wanted to open up pizza parlors as a

8:22

Chad: place to stick video games for people to

8:24

Chad: play. Chad: Well, that idea didn't go away and in 1977,

8:28

Chad: he opened the Pizza Time Theater in San

8:30

Chad: Jose with financial backing from Warner

8:32

Chad: Communications. Chad: Bushnell was a big fan of Disney

8:35

Chad: animatronics as found in the Country Bear

8:38

Chad: Jamboree and Enchanted Tiki Room at the

8:41

Chad: Disneyland Park. Chad: Bushnell was no stranger to ripping off

8:44

Chad: other people's ideas and he wanted a Chad: similar experience in his family-friendly

8:48

Chad: pizza parlor video game restaurant. Chad: Bushnell reached out to Harold Goldbrandson

8:53

Chad: who created adult-sized mascot costumes.

8:57

Chad: The two met, they hit it off and Bushnell

8:59

Chad: visited Goldbrandson's company Fantasy

9:01

Chad: Forest, where Bushnell purchased a costume

9:04

Chad: that he believed to be a coyote. Chad: That would be his new restaurant's mascot

9:10

Chad: Coyote Pizza Bushnell. Chad: A marketer he was not, and it turned out

9:14

Chad: that when the costume arrived, bushnell and

9:17

Chad: team realized that the coyote had a long

9:19

Chad: peak tail and was in fact a rat costume Not

9:23

Chad: something you want associated with a pizza

9:25

Chad: restaurant. Chad: But they got what they got and with dreams

9:29

Chad: of competing with Disney, with locations in

9:31

Chad: every major city in America, they renamed

9:34

Chad: Coyote Pizza to Rick Rat Calmer.

9:37

Chad: Heads prevailed and that name eventually

9:39

Chad: became Chuck E Cheese. Chad: The first Pizza Time Theater showcasing

9:44

Chad: Chuck E Cheese opened in 1977, and it

9:47

Chad: featured a life-size animatronic show, and

9:51

Chad: it was an immediate success. Chad: However, the heads of Warner Communications

9:54

Chad: were not interested in making pizza.

9:57

Chad: They bought into a video game company, so

9:59

Chad: they sold their steak in the company to Chad: Bushnell for a cool half million bucks.

10:04

Chad: Bushnell eventually opened a second Chad: location in an old grocery store that was

10:09

Chad: four times the size of the original Chad: location.

10:11

Chad: Here it featured a new show with new

10:13

Chad: characters and animatronics beyond the Chad: original Pizza Time Theater.

10:17

Chad: It had Chuck E Cheese as the focal Chad: personality, but there was a surrounding

10:21

Chad: cast of characters including Dolly Dimples, Chad: a piano playing and singing hippopotamus.

10:26

Chad: Two locations grew in popularity even

10:28

Chad: though the execution of the animatronics Chad: were a bit primitive by today's standards,

10:33

Chad: with bad lip-syncing and asynchronous

10:35

Chad: eye-blinking. Chad: It was charming and people loved it.

10:39

Chad: Pizza Time. Chad: Theater presents the most incredible pizza

10:42

Chad: place in the world. Chuck E Cheese: Okay, people, here we go to the great All

10:46

Chuck E Cheese: American Pizza Show. Chuck E Cheese: Your emcee is Chuck E Cheese, I better

10:49

Chuck E Cheese: known as the Big C. Chuck E Cheese: I'll be there with all my pals, like Mr

10:53

Chuck E Cheese: Munch and Jasper Chow. Comercial Announcer: It's Chuck E Cheese and the Pizza Time

10:57

Comercial Announcer: Players Now at either Pizza Time Theater in

11:00

Comercial Announcer: the Winchester Town Country Shopping Center Comercial Announcer: or on Coosier Avenue at Blossom Hill Road,

11:04

Comercial Announcer: where you can see Dolly Dimples, the famous Comercial Announcer: singing hippo.

11:07

Comercial Announcer: Come on Family Nights, monday through Comercial Announcer: Thursday, when there are free extra tokens

11:11

Comercial Announcer: for electronic games and racing cars and no

11:14

Comercial Announcer: waiting to play your favorite game. Pick Six Bot: And we got sandwiches and salad bar, pizza

11:22

Pick Six Bot: games and racing cars. Chuck E Cheese: So come on gang, let's go.

11:29

Chuck E Cheese: Go go to the great All American. Comercial Announcer: Pizza Show.

11:34

Comercial Announcer: Come on in to Pizza Time. Comercial Announcer: Theater pizza's never been so much fun.

11:39

Chad: How can anybody resist that, ad right? Chad: So, bushnell, he started getting frustrated

11:44

Chad: with the continued friction over at Atari

11:47

Chad: you know his day job regarding the

11:49

Chad: company's future and he decided to exit Chad: Atari in 1978 with a two-year non-compete

11:54

Chad: clause. Chad: So Bushnell doubled down and dedicated all

11:57

Chad: of his attention to his growing pizza Chad: empire. Chad: Bushnell and his team marketed the Pizza

12:01

Chad: Time Theater and Checke Cheese Restaurant Chad: as a franchise opportunity, featuring the

12:06

Chad: only computer-controlled animatronic show

12:08

Chad: anywhere you know, excluding Disneyland and

12:11

Chad: Walt Disney World and a few other smaller Chad: locations that you probably never heard of.

12:15

Chad: Enter Bob Brock, the owner of the Topeka

12:18

Chad: Inn Management Company. Chad: Brock made a couple of nickels with his

12:22

Chad: company's involvement with the very Chad: successful Holiday Inn chain of motels.

12:28

Chad: Brock saw the financials of the early Pizza

12:31

Chad: Time Theater restaurants and he loved the

12:34

Chad: concept and he wanted it. Chad: He decided to invest in the company with a

12:38

Chad: long-term target to open up over 285 stores

12:41

Chad: across the United States, 200 of which

12:44

Chad: would be operated by the Topeka Inn Chad: Management Company and the remainder would

12:48

Chad: be franchised out, with each new restaurant

12:50

Chad: costing about a million dollars to get up

12:53

Chad: and running. Chad: To run their 200 stores, the Topeka Inn

12:56

Chad: Management Company created a new department

12:59

Chad: called Pizza Showbiz. Chad: Why does that sound like that?

13:03

Chad: That's right. Chad: Bushnell wasn't the only business man who

13:07

Chad: could see a good idea and go rip it off.

13:10

Chad: That's apparently what everybody does in Chad: business.

13:12

Chad: So Brock comes in and he poachers a bunch

13:15

Chad: of people working for Pizza Time Theater,

13:17

Chad: featuring Checke Cheese, and he creates a Chad: competitor known as Showbiz Pizza Place,

13:23

Chad: opening their first location in 1980.

13:26

Chad: Showbiz Pizza was different from the Checke

13:29

Chad: Cheese property in that it featured a bear

13:32

Chad: in overalls as the primary mascot of the

13:35

Chad: company, drawing comparisons to the Chad: previously mentioned Country Bear Jamboree

13:39

Chad: at the Disney theme parks. Chad: There was a house man called the

13:43

Chad: Rock-a-Fire Explosion with frontman Fats

13:45

Chad: Geronimo among many other robotic singers.

13:49

Comercial Announcer: I bet that pizza tastes good.

13:54

Comercial Announcer: You've never seen a place like Showbiz

13:58

Comercial Announcer: Pizza Place will serve you a pizza second

14:02

Comercial Announcer: to none. Comercial Announcer: So come for pizza.

14:05

Comercial Announcer: Stay for the fun. Comercial Announcer: Showbiz Pizza Place with over 60 electronic

14:09

Comercial Announcer: games, pizza bake fresh every day and the

14:12

Comercial Announcer: stage show extravaganza on three stages.

14:14

Comercial Announcer: So come for pizza stay for the fun.

14:19

Chad: How can anybody resist that right? Chad: Bushnell saw this and said hey, they ripped

14:23

Chad: me off, I'm gonna sue you. Chad: And sue he did to both Brock and the Topeka

14:28

Chad: In Management Company over breach of Chad: contract.

14:30

Chad: Brock and the Showbiz Pizza Company

14:33

Chad: ultimately had to pay Bushnell a percentage

14:36

Chad: of their profits for the next 14 years. Chad: This led to two years of animatronic pizza

14:41

Chad: wars, with Showbiz Pizza and Chuck E Cheese

14:44

Chad: locations opening, at times with invisible

14:47

Chad: distance of one another. Chad: Bushnell took Chuck E Cheese public in 1981,

14:53

Chad: then he proceeded to lose 15 million bucks

14:55

Chad: by 1983, a year later, in 1984, pizza Time

14:59

Chad: Theater and Chuck E Cheese filed for Chad: Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and Bushnell resigned

15:04

Chad: from the company. Chad: And about this time Brock comes in and just

15:07

Chad: straight up buys the entire Chuck E Cheese

15:09

Chad: Company. Chad: This is a good throw business.

15:11

Chad: So Showbiz Pizza now owns Chuck E Cheese

15:14

Chad: Pizza and the two brands eventually merged Chad: and all the Showbiz Pizza places evolved

15:19

Chad: into Chuck E Cheese Pizza locations.

15:21

Chad: Facing financial troubles, the company made Chad: the decision to reduce the complexity of

15:25

Chad: the animatronics in the show, shuttering Chad: some of the stages and retiring many of the

15:29

Chad: characters, with a central core of mascots

15:32

Chad: to entertain restaurant goers. Chad: The company faced reduced revenues and went

15:37

Chad: through a rebranding, reimagining Chuck E

15:39

Chad: Cheese as a younger hipper version of

15:42

Chad: himself, now shredding guitar instead of

15:44

Chad: shredding cheese. Chad: The company kept its head down and remained

15:48

Chad: above water if you can do that at the same Chad: time throughout the 90s and barely survived

15:53

Chad: the Great Recession in the early 2000s,

15:55

Chad: covid-19 hit the company, suffered bad,

15:58

Chad: leading it to file for bankruptcy in June

16:00

Chad: of 2020, which is sad for people of a

16:03

Chad: particular generation. Chad: Chuck E Cheese and Showbiz Pizza place were

16:07

Chad: these futuristic musical locations where

16:09

Chad: you could play video games and scarf down Chad: pizza and win prizes, and watch robots sing

16:14

Chad: songs and wish kids a happy birthday. Chad: It was a simpler time, a more innocent time,

16:19

Chad: a time that's perfect to be exploited in a

16:22

Chad: horror themed video game. Pick Six Bot: Recalibrating voice pitch, speed and

16:28

Pick Six Bot: modulation. Pick Six Bot: Re-initiate sequence number one in three

16:32

Pick Six Bot: two, one. Chad: Five Nights at Freddy's, or FNAF as the

16:40

Chad: kids call it, was released in 2014 as a

16:44

Chad: point and click survival horror game

16:46

Chad: created by Scott Cawthon. Chad: A devout Christian, began his career making

16:50

Chad: religious themed adventure games, which

16:52

Chad: proved to be financial failures.

16:55

Chad: You don't say. Chad: He created a game titled Chipper and Son's

16:59

Chad: Lumber Company, and players of the game

17:01

Chad: found the game's characters to be Chad: frightening, commenting that their movement

17:05

Chad: looked stilted, like evil animatronic

17:08

Chad: characters. Chad: This criticism did not land well with

17:11

Chad: Cawthon, leading him to a real crisis of

17:14

Chad: faith, but he reconciled all of that and

17:16

Chad: decided to turn that frown upside down and

17:18

Chad: pivot. Chad: Instead of making wholesome Christian

17:21

Chad: entertainment, he decided to make a horror

17:24

Chad: video game. Chad: Cawthon developed the game Five Nights at

17:27

Chad: Freddy's over six months, and the final

17:29

Chad: version of the game was set in a family

17:32

Chad: pizzeria where the game player takes on the

17:34

Chad: role of a night security guard. Chad: You, as the security guard, must complete

17:38

Chad: your five night shifts without being caught

17:41

Chad: by homicidal animatronic characters that

17:43

Chad: lurk around the restaurant at night. Chad: Using security cameras to monitor the

17:46

Chad: restaurant, you can open and close doors Chad: that lock out characters.

17:50

Chad: Using the cameras depletes limited

17:52

Chad: electricity and drains power, impacting Chad: other means of keeping you, the Night

17:55

Chad: Watchman, alive. Chad: Cawthon submitted Five Nights at Freddy's

17:58

Chad: to the video game distribution service Chad: Steam, and it quickly gained popularity.

18:02

Chad: Critics received the game well and it began Chad: to get real visibility on YouTube videos

18:08

Chad: sharing gameplay and commentary from the Chad: likes of Markiplier, jacksyptikai and

18:13

Chad: PewDiePie. Chad: That same year, cawthon released a sequel,

18:16

Chad: not surprisingly titled Five Nights at Chad: Freddy's 2, and it was also very popular.

18:20

Chad: In 2015, both FNAF 3 and FNAF 4 were

18:24

Chad: released, all the while continuing to reach

18:27

Chad: audiences on every device imaginable iPads,

18:30

Chad: iphones, android phone species and gaming

18:32

Chad: consoles. Chad: A video game this popular led to

18:35

Chad: merchandising and novels that began to Chad: connect a larger, more complex history to

18:39

Chad: the Five Nights at Freddy's lore.

18:42

Chad: The growing official canon of FNAF involves

18:45

Chad: two rival pizza chains. Chad: Jealousy between the two founders of these

18:49

Chad: animatronic entertainment themed pizzerias

18:52

Chad: involves stealing competitor's technology

18:54

Chad: and ideas, leading to success, failure,

18:56

Chad: resentment and, ultimately, retaliatory

18:59

Chad: murder of children. Chad: Oh my god.

19:02

Chad: Five Nights at Freddy's takes place in Chad: Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a substitute for

19:06

Chad: Chuck E Cheese. Chad: The entertainment is led by the

19:08

Chad: restaurant's namesake, cuddly Freddy Chad: Fazbear.

19:11

Chad: Joining him is Bonnie, a purple bunny, Chad: chica, a yellow baby chick, and Foxy, a red

19:17

Chad: pirate fox. Chad: Now I watched a 90 minute overview of Five

19:21

Chad: Nights at Freddy's history on YouTube, and

19:23

Chad: this backstory's complexity is comparable

19:26

Chad: to the film Inception. Chad: Conceiving a child with the movie Momento

19:30

Chad: and then giving it up for adoption to be

19:32

Chad: raised by that third Pirates of the Chad: Caribbean movie.

19:35

Chad: It is, to say the least, complex.

19:38

Chad: The heightened interest in this backstory Chad: led to fan fiction and fan theories and fan

19:43

Chad: fights on the internet speculating on the Chad: hoos and what's and why's of this evolving

19:48

Chad: complexity surrounding horror and pizza and

19:51

Chad: robots that kill people. Chad: All of this is chronicled across a series

19:54

Chad: of at current count, eleven books.

19:57

Chad: But hey, you know whatever it takes to get

19:59

Chad: kids to read. Chad: Am I right? Chad: I'm right. Hollywood Producer: With something this popular, it was

20:03

Hollywood Producer: inevitable that Hollywood producers started

20:05

Hollywood Producer: sniffing around saying I hear a bunch of

20:09

Hollywood Producer: computer nerds really like this Freddy Five

20:11

Hollywood Producer: Nights telephone video game. Hollywood Producer: I'm sure the boys in the writer's rooms

20:14

Hollywood Producer: could swap together a treatment to get Hollywood Producer: those pasty-skinned weirdos out of their

20:18

Hollywood Producer: mother's basement and into movie theaters

20:20

Hollywood Producer: to scream their heads off while we laugh

20:23

Hollywood Producer: all the way to the bank. Hollywood Producer: Someone fetch me a hundred dollar bill.

20:26

Chad: I need to light this oversized cigar. Chad: And so it was.

20:29

Chad: In 2015, it was announced that Warner

20:31

Chad: Brothers picked up the rights to make Five Chad: Nights at Freddy's into a major motion

20:36

Chad: picture. Chad: Famed entertainment moguls Jeffrey Chad: Katzenberg and Roy Lee saw early success

20:40

Chad: with the horror movies the Ring and the Chad: Grudge, and they were attached to bring

20:43

Chad: this video game to the big screen. Chad: To help with the script was Seth Graham

20:47

Chad: Smith, who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Chad: Zombies, as well as Abraham Lincoln,

20:51

Chad: vampire Hunter. Chad: In January of 2017, the game's creator

20:55

Chad: Colfam said the movie was on hold, but then,

20:58

Chad: two months later, he said just kidding, we Chad: gotta deal with Blumhouse Productions.

21:02

Chad: Are they the only production company that's

21:04

Chad: allowed to make horror movies anymore? Chad: They are Great.

21:07

Chad: Alright, good for them. Chad: Early on, gil Keenan, the guy behind the

21:10

Chad: animated film Monster House, was set to

21:13

Chad: direct, but that fell through. Chad: By 2018, it was announced that Chris

21:16

Chad: Columbus, the guy who directed Home Alone,

21:19

Chad: would come in and direct the movie with a

21:21

Chad: planned release of 2020.

21:24

Chad: But by the end of 2018, the script for the

21:26

Chad: movie wasn't really coming together and it

21:28

Chad: was announced that it would be delayed Chad: further and would not hit screens until

21:32

Chad: 2021. Chad: And then, shortly after that, chris

21:35

Chad: Columbus was no longer attached to direct.

21:38

Chad: Following that, emma Tammy was brought in

21:40

Chad: to direct the movie and she would also be

21:43

Chad: co-writing it with the game's creator, Chad: colfam, along with Seth Kuddleback.

21:48

Chad: As we all know, there are many opinionated Chad: people on the internet and some of them

21:52

Chad: have very strong opinions about the Five

21:54

Chad: Nights at Freddy's video game franchise,

21:56

Chad: and I wish all of them the best of luck in Chad: making this into a successful feature film.

22:01

Chad: The talented crew over at Jim Hinton's Chad: Creature Shop.

22:03

Chad: They were brought in to help bring the Chad: stalking and murderous Pizza mascot

22:07

Chad: animatronics to life and, from what I've Chad: seen in the trailer, they look pretty good

22:10

Chad: To star in the movie. Chad: Josh Hutcherson was cast to play the

22:14

Chad: security guard, mike Schmidt. Chad: Hutcherson played the role of Pita in the

22:18

Chad: Hunger Games movies. Chad: Fun fact, hutcherson did the voice of the

22:21

Chad: main kid in the holiday classic the Polar

22:24

Chad: Express, a movie that gives some people, Chad: including Mr Bo Ransodale, nightmares.

22:28

Chad: Along with Hutcherson, the movie cast Chad: horror movie veteran and spooky monster

22:31

Chad: expert, matthew Lillard. Chad: Matthew Lillard, of course, starred in the

22:35

Chad: screen movies and he was the face and voice

22:38

Chad: of Shaggy in countless Scooby-Doo, live

22:40

Chad: action and animated shorts and feature

22:43

Chad: films. Chad: Lillard plays the movie's main villain,

22:46

Chad: william Afton. Chad: Rounding out the cast is Mary Stewart

22:49

Chad: Masterson, if that name rings a bell. Chad: She was in the film Fried Green Tomatoes

22:54

Chad: and co-starred with Johnny Depp in the Chad: movie Benny in June.

22:57

Chad: Remember her? Chad: If not, gosh grandparents, they'll tell you

23:00

Chad: all about her. Chad: Due to the impact of the global pandemic,

23:03

Chad: filming was delayed until March of 2021.

23:06

Chad: All of these delays allowed two copycat

23:09

Chad: films to be released with similar robot

23:13

Chad: mascots killing innocent people.

23:15

Chad: One was the Banana Splits, a movie based on

23:18

Chad: the Hannah Barbera Saturday morning live

23:20

Chad: action show from the 70s.

23:22

Chad: In this movie, a family attends a live

23:24

Chad: taping of the Banana Splits Children's

23:27

Chad: television show, but they're forced to

23:29

Chad: survive in the studio as all of the

23:31

Chad: characters go haywire and start a killing

23:33

Chad: spree involving audience members. Chad: There was also Willys Wonderland, which

23:38

Chad: starred Nicolas Cage as a quiet drifter who

23:40

Chad: takes a job as a janitor at the condemned

23:42

Chad: Willys Wonderland, a defunct family

23:45

Chad: entertainment restaurant where demonic Chad: animatronics come to life and start killing

23:49

Chad: people. Chad: As the team behind Five Nights at Freddy's

23:52

Chad: watch these imitators come and go, they

23:54

Chad: struggle with getting their movie into

23:56

Chad: production. Chad: More issues with the script push filming

23:59

Chad: back all the way to February of 2023, where

24:02

Chad: then, finally, cameras started rolling in

24:05

Chad: New Orleans under the covert title Bad

24:08

Chad: Cupcake, an unfinished trailer was leaked

24:10

Chad: on the internet on May 7th of 2023, much to

24:13

Chad: the displeasure of Cawthon, the game's

24:15

Chad: creator. Chad: The full trailer was ultimately made

24:18

Chad: available 10 days later and audiences got

24:21

Chad: their first look at Freddy Fazbear, bonnie,

24:23

Chad: chica and Foxy, and.

24:25

Chad: The early responses to the trailer were Chad: mostly positive, with small but notable

24:29

Chad: callouts from a sharp-eyed, devoted fanbase

24:32

Chad: noting inconsistencies with their

24:34

Chad: expectations. Chad: How did the movie perform at the box office?

24:37

Chad: Well, I don't really know. Chad: This introduction is being recorded before

24:41

Chad: the movie lands in theaters, as well as on

24:43

Chad: the Paramount Plus streaming surface on the

24:46

Chad: exact same day. Chad: A pretty bold move on the part of Paramount,

24:49

Chad: letting a movie release in theaters and on

24:51

Chad: streaming. Chad: We'll see how that plays out. Chad: The movie was tagged with a PG-13 rating,

24:56

Chad: following in the footsteps of the Blumhouse

24:59

Chad: hit film Megan, featured in this very

25:02

Chad: season. Chad: This more tame rating will allow the film

25:05

Chad: to reach a broader and younger film-going

25:08

Chad: audience. Chad: Producers did announce that, if the movie

25:12

Chad: is a success, a second and third movie will

25:15

Chad: be released, each based on the second and

25:17

Chad: third games in the franchise. Chad: Will the ever-delayed Five Nights at

25:20

Chad: Freddy's movie be a success? Chad: Will the wait for the live-action

25:25

Chad: adaptation pay off with a quality

25:27

Chad: production and will it meet the Chad: expectations of FNAF video game and

25:33

Chad: internet commentators once released? Chad: To answer those questions in order yes,

25:37

Chad: maybe, and absolutely not. Chad: You know what? Chad: Let's not waste any more time and get Mr Bo

25:40

Chad: Ransdale in here to discuss this movie in

25:43

Chad: way too much detail to see if it's any good.

25:45

Chad: Ladies and gentlemen, freddy's and Chica's,

25:47

Chad: put down your keyboard and mouse, grab a Chad: slice and settle in as we try to survive

25:52

Chad: Five Nights at Freddy's.

25:59

Pick Six Bot: Initiate sequence number two in three two,

26:03

Pick Six Bot: one. Chad: And welcome to Pick Six Movies.

26:25

Chad: I am human number one, chad Cooper, and I'm

26:27

Chad: joined by my lifelong friend, human number Chad: two, mr Bo Ransdale.

26:30

Chad: Bo, how are you doing today? Bo: As human as I've ever been Chad, feeling

26:35

Bo: corporeal, sentient, all of the things that

26:39

Bo: make up humanity. Chad: It is a strange time to be alive, my friend.

26:44

Bo: Absolutely, if I can, before we get started

26:47

Bo: on our shenanigans. Bo: Yes, all right.

26:49

Chad: So we're talking about Five Nights at Chad: Freddy's, which is one of the more recent

26:52

Chad: movies we've ever Only movie we've ever Chad: done that is actually playing in a theater

26:56

Chad: at the time of this recording. Chad: Against all good thinking.

26:59

Bo: Yes, it is in a movie theater and you could

27:01

Bo: pay to go see this. Bo: Yes, one thing that I found interesting is

27:05

Bo: I was listening to another podcast I enjoy

27:07

Bo: about movies. Bo: They were really scratching their heads

27:13

Bo: over the fact that this was the number one

27:15

Bo: movie in the country the weekend that it

27:17

Bo: opened, to which I thought then you don't

27:20

Bo: have any interaction with children

27:23

Bo: whatsoever. Bo: No, because as soon as this thing was

27:28

Bo: announced that was coming out in a few

27:30

Bo: weeks, all I heard was the talk of the Five

27:34

Bo: Nights at Freddy's movie. Bo: Kids lost their damn mind Every single one

27:38

Bo: of them. Bo: When I told one of the kids that I was

27:40

Bo: going to be seeing it and tell them I was Bo: going to watch it in my underwear at home,

27:44

Bo: right Kids that I had in class when I told

27:46

Bo: them I was going to watch it, either said I Bo: was their cool teacher or bemoaned the fact

27:51

Bo: that their parents were not taking them to Bo: the movies.

27:53

Bo: Just hearing the buzz among children, I

27:56

Bo: knew this thing was going to be huge.

27:58

Chad: What I find most interesting is the chasm

28:02

Chad: between Rotten Tomatoes' critic scores and

28:06

Chad: Rotten Tomatoes' audience scores, because

28:08

Chad: this movie currently has a 28% freshness

28:11

Chad: rating by the critics Too high, 89% for

28:14

Chad: audiences. Chad: Yeah, and you see that a lot, especially

28:17

Chad: for movies that are financially successful.

28:21

Chad: That Super Mario Bros movie just came in

28:24

Chad: below the freshness bar by the critics with

28:26

Chad: 59%. Chad: 95% of audiences loved it.

28:30

Chad: That haunted mansion movie 37% critics, 84%

28:35

Chad: audiences. Chad: The Meg 2, 28% critics, 73% audience.

28:40

Bo: None of this is surprising to me. Bo: First of all, I saw Meg 2 and there is

28:44

Bo: plenty of stupid out there in the world to Bo: think that movie is pretty good.

28:47

Bo: That's one of those that has a brisk enough

28:51

Bo: pace in the movie that you don't realize

28:53

Bo: you're watching a terrible movie until it's Bo: over. Chad: I saw that movie in the theaters with my

28:58

Chad: son and about the two-thirds mark I thought

29:00

Chad: aren't there supposed to be sharks in this Chad: movie? Chad: No, shit.

29:03

Bo: It's like when did this become? Bo: Meg 2, the Dinosaurs?

29:06

Bo: Yeah, but that's kind of what I love about Bo: it.

29:08

Bo: Like it took a real Skull Island approach

29:11

Bo: where it's like, wait a second, isn't there Bo: a King Kong in this King Kong Skull Island

29:14

Bo: at some point? Bo: But I'm okay with that. Bo: Like you throw enough weird shit at the

29:17

Bo: screen and I'm at least entertained, right.

29:21

Bo: And so Meg 2, let me just say this for the

29:23

Bo: record Meg 2, a better movie than Five

29:26

Bo: Nights at Freddy's. Bo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bo: I mean it's a super low bar but it's better.

29:30

Bo: But yeah, all you had to do was just be

29:33

Bo: anywhere near a child or a teenage or

29:35

Bo: something like that to understand that this Bo: movie was a phenomenon.

29:38

Bo: I've played the games a little bit. Bo: I started in on that lore deep dive on

29:43

Bo: YouTube. Bo: It's crazy. Bo: And I watched the first one and I was like,

29:47

Bo: yeah, I was like this is all bullshit, I Bo: don't care about any of this.

29:50

Bo: So I stopped. Chad: It reeks of conspiracy theory.

29:53

Chad: They're filling in a lot of gaps and Chad: connecting dots.

29:57

Chad: It's their own personal video game,

29:59

Chad: warshack, test of. Chad: Yes, there's something here, but how did

30:02

Chad: you see? Bo: that it's very JFK conspiracy theory.

30:06

Bo: There's a lot of magic bullet shit in there

30:08

Bo: and you know Michael Rooker needs to be Bo: there, being the voice of reason.

30:12

Bo: This can't happen. Chad: Let's talk about this movie because there's

30:16

Chad: a lot to say about this. Chad: So the movie opens up and we get the

30:20

Chad: Blumhouse intro showing that panoply of

30:23

Chad: horror IPs that they now have their claws

30:26

Chad: into. Chad: The movie opens proper and we see a

30:30

Chad: security guard using his fingers to loosen

30:32

Chad: some bolts that are holding an air vent

30:35

Chad: cover in place. Chad: Now, bo, I am not trained in HVAC repair.

30:40

Chad: This is widely known. Chad: But let me just say that movies have

30:44

Chad: continuously grossly overestimated the size

30:48

Chad: of air vents and the ability of people to

30:51

Chad: crawl around them. Bo: We've seen it this season already with

30:54

Bo: chopping ball. Chad: Die Hard, did it proper Now Five Nights at

30:58

Chad: Freddy's air. Chad: Vents are meant to circulate air, not

31:01

Chad: people. Chad: And they also don't serve as, like Super

31:04

Chad: Mario Brother, tubes to get you from one

31:06

Chad: place to another. Chad: At best, bo, a small child might be able to

31:10

Chad: crawl through an air vent. Chad: Not one of these porker kids I see riding

31:14

Chad: their e-scooters around my neighborhood. Chad: Maybe one of them, simon Birch-sized kids,

31:18

Chad: could crawl around in an air vent. Bo: Absolutely not a full-sized adult security

31:23

Bo: guard Every time I try to squeeze my fat

31:25

Bo: ass into an air vent. Bo: I do, however, make the Super Mario

31:29

Bo: Brothers beom, beom, beom noise as if I'm

31:32

Bo: going to find myself in a cave full of gems.

31:34

Chad: Every time I sit down in a seat in a movie

31:37

Chad: theater I'm like whoa, the diet starts

31:40

Chad: tomorrow. Bo: Oh yeah, man, I'm around high school school

31:45

Bo: desks all day long. Bo: Every time I got to cram my fat ass into

31:48

Bo: one of those, like, oh geez, this was not

31:52

Bo: made for people of my girth and or height.

31:55

Chad: Hey, hey, hey. Chad: I think they sent the middle school desks

31:58

Chad: to the high school. Chad: What's going? Bo: on here, right?

32:01

Bo: Why do you have so much room in your desk

32:03

Bo: and mine is so tight? Bo: Switch desks with me.

32:06

Chad: Hey, I think you swapped one out on me, so

32:09

Chad: we have to have a touch of suspension, of

32:12

Chad: disbelief with this air vent situation,

32:16

Chad: which is not my biggest issue with this Chad: movie because we're about to delve into

32:20

Chad: ghost children possessing robots.

32:23

Chad: We're far beyond calling shenanigans when

32:25

Chad: it comes to real world comparisons to air

32:28

Chad: vent sizes. Chad: I will say my biggest complaint with this

32:31

Chad: movie overall is that it creates a world

32:34

Chad: propped up by loosely connected plot points

32:38

Chad: that fail to deliver a larger, cohesive

32:41

Chad: story. Bo: I don't disagree with that. Bo: I have a very specific moment in this movie

32:46

Bo: where I cry bullshit and the rest of the

32:49

Bo: movie doesn't work for me. Bo: But we'll get to it.

32:51

Bo: We're not quite there. Chad: This movie reminded me of watching improv,

32:56

Chad: but without the jokes. Chad: Every single character in this movie says

33:00

Chad: something unexpected and bizarre and the

33:03

Chad: other person immediately greets it with a

33:06

Chad: yes and there are some conversations

33:09

Chad: between the Mike character in Vanessa.

33:12

Chad: Yeah. Bo: That are very much what you're talking

33:14

Bo: about. Chad: Like ghost children, you say and and the

33:17

Chad: robots come to life at night and bake

33:20

Chad: birthday cakes, because it's your birthday, Chad: yes, and my grandmother is, yes and it's

33:26

Chad: nonsense. Bo: But to get to this guy in the vent he comes

33:29

Bo: out in this storeroom, uh-huh. Bo: Then we start to.

33:32

Bo: One is way through the back halls, because Bo: the back of Freddie Fosbears pizza

33:36

Bo: wonderland is this labyrinth of hallways

33:39

Bo: and rooms and it's three times the size of

33:43

Bo: the restaurant itself. Bo: We start seeing all these flashes of pastel

33:47

Bo: light and there's music playing that song,

33:49

Bo: I hear the secrets that you keep, which is

33:52

Bo: the, in quotes, creepy song of the movie we

33:55

Bo: see in silhouette a shape somewhere behind

33:58

Bo: him, like following him. Bo: And then he comes to this gated security

34:01

Bo: door and can't get it open and it's a real

34:04

Bo: hole I can't get out of here. Bo: And then the camera zooms in on him and he

34:08

Bo: turns and screams. Bo: And this is when he wakes up in that chair

34:11

Bo: where he's trying to get the screw off Bo: Again, another big screw that he's trying

34:15

Bo: to free himself with as Chad.

34:18

Bo: This animatronic bear mask is being lowered

34:20

Bo: onto his face. Bo: Outwardly it's a stuffed animal bear.

34:24

Bo: Inside it is a saw trap of spinning blades

34:28

Bo: and saws and stuff. Bo: Yeah, it's like what on earth was the

34:32

Bo: purpose of this other than to destroy a

34:35

Bo: human face? Bo: I guess, I guess that's it.

34:38

Bo: And then he tries to get out but fails.

34:40

Bo: And then we cut away, of course, because Bo: the other big problem with this movie I

34:44

Bo: understand that this is intended for Bo: children, but given the subject matter, the

34:48

Bo: bloodless nature of it is strike the death

34:51

Bo: count is only five, because it's him and

34:54

Bo: then our four hooligans. Bo: The aunt.

34:57

Chad: No, we don't know for sure. Chad: She might just be passed out on the floor

35:00

Chad: from a little glug glug, and maybe Matthew

35:02

Chad: Lillard, no he signed up for three films.

35:06

Bo: God bless him. Bo: Like I love Matthew Lillard, I think he's

35:08

Bo: great Bo. Chad: this is a Blumhouse production.

35:11

Chad: We're going to see five more, five nights

35:13

Chad: at Freddy's. Chad: There's going to be the Chica movie.

35:15

Chad: There's going to be the backstory of Foxy.

35:18

Chad: There's going to be an animated series. Chad: They are going to squeeze this for all it's

35:23

Chad: worth. Bo: That's good to hear because that's a bunch Bo: of movies I don't ever have to see and that

35:26

Bo: feels liberating. Chad: So we cut back to the dining room where we

35:31

Chad: get this rejected theme song to Stranger

35:34

Chad: Things. Chad: It's this 80s inspired synthesizer beat

35:37

Chad: that would make John Carpenter roll his Chad: eyes. Chad: And then the camera pans over to a wall

35:40

Chad: covered with children's crayon drawings and

35:43

Chad: their kids with all of the characters from

35:46

Chad: the Five Nights at Freddy's stage show.

35:48

Chad: And then it specifically zeros in on an Chad: image of a big yellow bunny holding hands

35:53

Chad: with a group of kids. Chad: And then we cut to the opening credits of

35:57

Chad: this movie Credits. Chad: We get a bunch of like eight bit or 16 bit

36:02

Chad: video game graphics of the pizza parlor

36:05

Chad: with four kids and then, one by one, we see

36:08

Chad: the computer graphic version of the yellow Chad: bunny escort these eight bit kids off to go

36:13

Chad: somewhere. Chad: This is foreshadowing, bo. Chad: Oh eventually that all the kids are gone

36:18

Chad: and it just leaves the yellow bunny with a Chad: menacing look over his shoulder as the

36:22

Chad: movie starts. Chad: Proper cut to our film's hero, mike.

36:26

Chad: He wakes up at 6 am, bo, his alarm clock

36:28

Chad: goes off and he's got a cassette tape

36:30

Chad: player and he tosses a bottle of pills in Chad: his drawer.

36:33

Chad: Been there, done that and he gets out of Chad: bed and the camera reveals that there is a

36:37

Chad: poster taped to the ceiling above his bed,

36:40

Chad: not of a sexy model, but of a forest, and

36:44

Chad: in giant letters we read the word Nebraska.

36:46

Bo: Man, whatever gets you off. Bo: What year does this movie take place?

36:49

Bo: You took the question out of my mouth.

36:52

Bo: I still don't know and I'm surprised when

36:54

Bo: things show up in this movie. Bo: There's a moment later in the film where

36:58

Bo: Vanessa says, well, this was big back in Bo: the 80s.

37:00

Bo: And I'm like then, when the fuck is this Bo: set?

37:02

Bo: Because, as you pointed out, he's got the

37:05

Bo: 80s style cassette tape player.

37:07

Bo: You know that Walkman style of cassette

37:09

Bo: tape thing. Bo: Nobody's got a cell phone in this movie.

37:12

Chad: I think Max has one, and it's a flip phone.

37:15

Chad: According to the internet which who's ever

37:17

Chad: lied on the internet it's supposed to take Chad: place in the year 2000.

37:21

Chad: I got that from the synopsis of the movie

37:23

Chad: over on Wikipedia, which is how they start

37:25

Chad: the description in the year 2000. Chad: They didn't talk about that security guard

37:29

Chad: that got killed in the opening, because you

37:31

Chad: know why, bo, none of that matters. Chad: Hey, filmmakers, here's a bright idea.

37:35

Chad: When you're making a movie is something is Chad: irrelevant to every character in the film

37:39

Chad: and has nothing to do with your overall Chad: plot, leave it on the cutting room floor.

37:43

Chad: It's garbage and a waste of time. Bo: You know what setting is Chad?

37:47

Bo: It's a combination of time and place and I

37:50

Bo: know one of those things in this movie. Bo: I never know the other thing and I'm not

37:54

Bo: doing fucking homework to figure it out. Bo: I hate the fact that all through this week

37:58

Bo: I hate this movie so much. Bo: I hate the fact that from begin season,

38:01

Bo: this movie I'm having that thought as soon Bo: as I saw that tape recorder was like okay,

38:04

Bo: so when is this? Bo: Yeah, it's never answered.

38:07

Bo: Chad at no point in the movie does somebody

38:09

Bo: say hey, it's the year 2000. Bo: We don't believe in child ghost

38:13

Bo: animatronics like a throwaway line like

38:15

Bo: that. Chad: At least tells me when your movie is set

38:18

Chad: while we're on the topic, why does that Chad: poster say Nebraska?

38:21

Chad: Right, this is the only big forest poster

38:24

Chad: he could find to look at before he goes to Chad: sleep.

38:27

Bo: Yeah, they only make Nebraska brand forest

38:30

Bo: posters. Chad: Right, because when I think Nebraska, I

38:33

Chad: think forests. Bo: Right, you think forests, obviously the

38:37

Bo: mountains, and green beans. Bo: Those are the things that you associate

38:40

Bo: with Nebraska. Bo: So this asshole, after doing some, you know

38:44

Bo: I got to pump myself up pushups because Bo: he's like five, two and you know he's got

38:48

Bo: little person energy when he's just like

38:50

Bo: I'm super strong, see, yeah, but you're Bo: also very compact.

38:53

Chad: But he doesn't really do anything overly Chad: physical in the movie.

38:57

Chad: I don't get why we're showing him working Chad: out to be like oh, that's how he's strong.

39:01

Chad: Yes, at best, maybe he opens a jar of

39:03

Chad: pickles. Bo: Well, he beats a shit out of a dad here in

39:06

Bo: a minute. Bo: I guess that's something. Chad: Yeah, but you get that from just rage.

39:09

Chad: A little scrawny person can do that. Chad: Yeah, get him pissed off enough.

39:13

Bo: Yeah, napoleon didn't have to do pushups, Bo: he just conquered the world.

39:16

Bo: So he checks in on his sister, abby.

39:18

Bo: His sister. Bo: You ask, oh yeah, they tell you that

39:21

Bo: halfway through the movie and I'm like what? Chad: Every person who watches this movie

39:25

Chad: immediately thinks this is his daughter.

39:28

Chad: The other characters in the movie do also.

39:30

Chad: I like that the other characters in the Chad: movie ask questions that we have already

39:35

Chad: posed, because they are as confused as we

39:39

Chad: are watching it. Bo: But it would be great if they asked them

39:43

Bo: the same time I did, as opposed to, you

39:45

Bo: know, 30 minutes later, when I'm like, okay, Bo: it's gotta be his daughter, right?

39:49

Bo: Okay, it's his daughter. Bo: And now that has like concretized in my

39:52

Bo: mind. Chad: You can do it right here, because Mike Chad: comes into her room and he says hey, we're

39:56

Chad: leaving in five minutes and Abby, who's

39:59

Chad: about 10 years old, she says you're being a Chad: jerk. Chad: And she tosses a stuffed animal at him.

40:03

Chad: You just have micro spawned. Chad: All sisters think their big brothers are

40:06

Chad: jerks and you just put that to rest right Chad: there.

40:09

Bo: This is one of the most poorly written Bo: movies we have seen in some time and it

40:13

Bo: took him forever to get it so wrong. Chad: So he cut to Mike and he's sitting in the

40:17

Chad: food court of a shopping mall where some

40:20

Chad: guy who we don't know but don't worry, this

40:22

Chad: character is not around for long he is Chad: reading a book out loud to Mike.

40:27

Bo: That Mike has been reading. Bo: It's Mike's book.

40:29

Chad: We see Mike looking at it earlier. Chad: Yes.

40:32

Chad: And I think he's just flipping through, Chad: looking for the pictures.

40:35

Chad: This guy's actually reading it and he's

40:37

Chad: like and though the dreamer remains asleep,

40:40

Chad: he walks through memory as if experiencing

40:43

Chad: it for the first time. Chad: A new, no longer a passenger, but an active

40:48

Chad: participant. Chad: Huh, is this for real, mike?

40:51

Chad: And Mike says some people believe it's real.

40:54

Chad: It depends on what you believe, and I

40:57

Chad: paused it. Chad: I was like I got to write that down.

41:00

Bo: Yeah, that's just what you can tell Bo: employees and the like when you give them

41:05

Bo: any edict at work. Bo: Do we have to do this?

41:07

Bo: Well, some people believe it's real.

41:10

Chad: That's a shitty fortune cookie fortune.

41:13

Bo: The kind that you leave on the table. Bo: You don't even bother to put it in your

41:15

Bo: pocket, where it gets washed and disappears.

41:18

Bo: There are a couple that you're like oh, Bo: that's kind of an interesting one, I'll

41:21

Bo: keep this. Bo: You're never going to keep it. Bo: Yeah, you get what it's like.

41:24

Bo: The future is yet to be the past trash.

41:28

Bo: I'm just going to leave this on the plate Bo: of General Sos.

41:31

Bo: Let them throw it away. Bo: Also, chad this whole dream theory,

41:35

Bo: business kind of sort of matters.

41:37

Bo: But if it weren't in the movie it would not

41:40

Bo: change anything substantially. Bo: How about this we're?

41:43

Chad: in a quote unquote horror movie featuring

41:46

Chad: people participating in lucid dreaming, and

41:49

Chad: this movie also includes the word Freddy's

41:53

Chad: right, and I thought it was weird that

41:55

Chad: there was the red and green sweater on

41:57

Chad: Freddy Fazbear. Chad: At one point all the ghost kids attacking

42:01

Chad: with slashing finger blades or something

42:04

Chad: and I was like what are you doing five

42:06

Chad: nights at Freddy's? Bo: I mean you talk about Megan being a movie

42:09

Bo: that liberally rips shit off.

42:12

Bo: Five nights at Freddy's is honestly it's

42:15

Bo: like what if Nightmare on Elm Street met

42:17

Bo: Charles Entertainment Chiefs? Bo: And that's kind of this movie.

42:20

Chad: It's like they just opened up the fridge Chad: looking all the leftovers of other worn out

42:24

Chad: franchises and just mix those ingredients

42:27

Chad: together and this is what you got. Chad: Is it edible?

42:30

Bo: It won't kill you. Bo: Yeah, it's the drunk fridge raid of movies

42:34

Bo: where you're like you know what? Bo: I will have that. Bo: Butterscotch pudding and spaghetti.

42:38

Bo: Do they go together? Bo: Nope, but I'm just hungry enough to eat

42:41

Bo: both of them. Chad: Mike walks over to get some ice cream.

42:43

Chad: All the time he's clocking the mall looking

42:46

Chad: for suspicious activity and he spots this Chad: kid just hanging out by himself.

42:50

Chad: And this adult comes over and grabs the kid

42:52

Chad: by the arm and quickly escorts the kid away,

42:56

Chad: somewhat aggressively, and my immediate

42:58

Chad: thought is that this is this kid's pissed

43:01

Chad: off dad and not a pedophile child murderer.

43:04

Bo: Right, because you don't want to make a Bo: fucking scene. Bo: You know, I'm not trying to tell pedophiles

43:08

Bo: how to do their business, shad but it's not Bo: going to be this.

43:11

Chad: Tommy, get your ass over here. Chad: You're going to get in the car and you're

43:13

Chad: going to shut up. Bo: That's an angry dad, but Mike who is not

43:18

Bo: bothering to flirt with the pretty cute Bo: pixie-ish ice cream lady who's like you're

43:22

Bo: usual, mike the ice cream girl does say

43:25

Bo: when are you going to bring your sister by? Chad: This is the first time that the movie

43:28

Chad: attempts to establish Abbey as Mike's

43:31

Chad: sister. Chad: But before we can get into that, mike just

43:34

Chad: dashes after this father and son, and here

43:37

Chad: is where we for the first time see that Chad: Mike is wearing a shirt that reads security.

43:41

Chad: So I was like, oh, he works at the mall.

43:44

Chad: Mm-hmm. Bo: I also like the fact that he has gone full

43:47

Bo: red pill on this. Bo: Yeah, he's like, oh, and he told me that

43:51

Bo: these pedophiles will be grabbing kids left Bo: and right these malls.

43:54

Bo: I got to go get this son of a bitch and Bo: just goes ballistic, push and pass people

43:59

Bo: as he chases this father and his kid.

44:01

Bo: When he reaches this father, he launches

44:04

Bo: himself like he's a thunder cat at this dad,

44:07

Bo: knocking him into a fountain where he

44:10

Bo: proceeds to beat the ever living shit out

44:12

Bo: of him. Chad: He goes full sailor Ripley from Wild at

44:15

Chad: Heart. Chad: He turns this guy's head into rotten

44:18

Chad: pumpkin mush. Chad: Yeah, mike's gonna get sued.

44:21

Chad: Mike needs to law your up. Bo: Fast, yeah, cut to Chad.

44:25

Bo: The lobby of some job finder, slash, career

44:28

Bo: counselor place or something seems like you

44:31

Bo: could at least put something on the wall to Bo: tell us where we are.

44:34

Bo: Hey, production design, put a fucking sign

44:36

Bo: on the wall. Bo: How about that time and place?

44:39

Bo: That's all a setting is. Bo: You only have to get two fucking things

44:42

Bo: right, and this movie can't do either one. Bo: God damn it.

44:44

Bo: Chad so he gets called into Matthew

44:47

Bo: Lillard's office is like oh for Christ's Bo: thanks God, there's something interesting

44:51

Bo: to look at. Chad: Matthew Lillard has a name plate that reads

44:54

Chad: Steve Raglan, for what it's worth.

44:57

Chad: Over on IMDB he is listed as Steve Raglan

45:01

Chad: slash William Afton. Chad: Yeah.

45:03

Chad: The latter of which being the notorious bad Chad: guy in the Five Nights at Freddy's canon.

45:08

Chad: And we'll get into the convoluted lack of

45:10

Chad: logic as to why this sinister mastermind

45:13

Chad: behind this movie's paranormal, murderous

45:17

Chad: child killing shenanigans, william Afton,

45:20

Chad: is working in an unemployment office.

45:23

Bo: What Absolute. Bo: This is the point where, especially

45:26

Bo: watching at the second time, I was like Bo: what in the Everliving hell is this guy

45:31

Bo: doing? Chad: working this job it would be like if jigsaw

45:36

Chad: from the saw movies was picking up a few

45:38

Chad: hours at the DMV. Chad: Right leather face is driving a forklift

45:43

Chad: over at the Frito Lay warehouse out at the

45:46

Chad: industrial park right, is he just laying

45:49

Chad: low? Bo: all I need out of this is at the end, when

45:51

Bo: Matthew Lillard is given his big villain

45:53

Bo: speech at the end of this spoilers he's the Bo: villain at the end of this everyone knew

45:57

Bo: that going in. Chad: Right, if you were excited about seeing

46:00

Chad: this movie, you knew that going in.

46:03

Chad: And I also want to say, if you watch this

46:05

Chad: movie and you didn't know that at all, when

46:08

Chad: the big reveal happens, it's done in such a

46:11

Chad: sloppy way that when he pops off the rabbit

46:14

Chad: head, like if you didn't know who Matthew Chad: Lillard was, I honestly believe when the

46:18

Chad: reveal happens, your reaction could have Chad: been who is this?

46:22

Bo: well as a person that enjoys Matthew

46:25

Bo: Lillard, especially in that Twin Peaks Bo: season 3.

46:28

Bo: He's so good in that he's a good actor and

46:30

Bo: he's kind of an interesting character actor. Bo: He's got like an interesting face and

46:35

Bo: interesting delivery. Bo: He's not quite crisp and glover weird but

46:38

Bo: he's interesting when. Chad: I think of Matthew Lillard.

46:41

Chad: My brain immediately goes to the Chad: descendants.

46:44

Chad: Okay, with George Clooney, because he shows

46:46

Chad: up in that and he was really good.

46:49

Chad: He's a good actor. Chad: His role in this is so badly written.

46:52

Chad: That's the problem. Chad: He's having a little fun with it,

46:55

Chad: absolutely. Chad: There's just not much fun to be had.

46:57

Bo: It's like here play with this rock right

46:59

Bo: okay, but at the end of this movie, if he

47:03

Bo: had said something like you know, man, I

47:05

Bo: was the planned guidance counselor to this

47:08

Bo: stupid job, so I could get new victims.

47:10

Bo: Man, anything right, anything.

47:13

Bo: It goes back to that Simpsons the Raven bit.

47:17

Bo: Hey, lisa, you know what would have been Bo: scarier than that?

47:19

Bo: What? Bo: Anything and this is that of you know what

47:23

Bo: would be better than not talking about any

47:25

Bo: of this, discussing it even the littlest

47:27

Bo: bit? Bo: Get, give me some sense of this world and

47:30

Bo: these people and this characters, and why Bo: they're doing the things that they do.

47:34

Bo: There is no character motivation, there is Bo: no setting.

47:36

Bo: It drives me up the fucking wall. Bo: The one thing I do like about this moment,

47:40

Bo: though, is when Matthew Lillard is kind of Bo: going through Mike's file.

47:44

Bo: He looks something, goes, say man, what are

47:47

Bo: you? Chad: some kind of head case or something like

47:49

Chad: your work history shows you get fired

47:52

Chad: almost immediately from every job.

47:54

Chad: I assume from beating people up and putting

47:57

Chad: them in the hospital man, and, like you're,

47:59

Chad: the hero of this movie. Bo: Strange indeed hey, well, look, I gotta

48:06

Bo: tell you, man, your options are kind of

48:08

Bo: limited on account of you beating the shit

48:11

Bo: out of strangers, man, and Mike's like yeah,

48:14

Bo: I need a job, real bad. Chad: And Matthew Lillard says like I get that,

48:19

Chad: mike. Chad: Hey, on a second, let me take a look at

48:22

Chad: your last name. Chad: I never really took time to like read it

48:25

Chad: earlier. Chad: I got caught up in all the details of your

48:28

Chad: latest battery charges. Chad: Like let's see here, mike shit, like that's

48:33

Chad: a surprise. Chad: Auga.

48:36

Chad: Like I do have a job for you. Chad: It's like working as a security officer,

48:41

Chad: Like all you gotta do is keep people out of

48:43

Chad: the place overnight. Chad: Man, Ha ha, ha ha.

48:48

Bo: And Mike is like uh, you said I've gotta

48:51

Bo: keep people out and also tidy the place up.

48:55

Bo: That's two things. Bo: Hey, that sounds like a joke that could be

48:59

Bo: used as a callback later. Bo: But I can't take this job because it's

49:03

Bo: nights and I don't work nights. Chad: Hey, man, just take my card, you might

49:08

Chad: change your mind and Mike heads home and he

49:11

Chad: finds a red eviction notice on the door.

49:14

Chad: Mm-hmm. Chad: And he walks inside his home to find Max, a

49:18

Chad: young woman in her late teens or early 20s

49:21

Chad: on the couch watching the home shopping Chad: network where they are selling fake diamond

49:26

Chad: rings. Chad: Now, I assumed that this was possibly

49:29

Chad: Mike's sister that the ice cream pixie was

49:32

Chad: referring to earlier. Bo: Mm-hmm Could possibly be.

49:35

Chad: Josh Hutcherson in this movie was 30 years

49:38

Chad: old when it fell and he looks at Abby is 10.

49:41

Chad: Mm-hmm. Chad: And I get that siblings can be 20 years

49:43

Chad: apart. Chad: I understand enough about biology and

49:46

Chad: genealogy to grasp that concept.

49:48

Chad: However, as we said earlier, this movie

49:50

Chad: does not explicitly detail character

49:53

Chad: relationships and it is frustrating.

49:55

Bo: Also Max, as she's watching this show, like

49:58

Bo: you said, could be his sister, his

50:01

Bo: girlfriend. Bo: Any relationship Like we don't understand

50:04

Bo: this relationship ever really as watching

50:06

Bo: TV she goes. Chad: I sure wish somebody would buy me a ring.

50:10

Bo: Oh so she's his girlfriend, Right, Exactly,

50:14

Bo: but that's not what's going on Right, like Bo: you say that line and what that tells me as

50:18

Bo: a viewer of other movies. Bo: They're dating, she's more serious, but

50:23

Bo: Mike is all caught up in his own bullshit

50:26

Bo: and hasn't committed to the relationship. Bo: I understand this relationship.

50:29

Bo: I understand these characters. Bo: Oh wait, that's not what's going on here.

50:32

Chad: Oh, so it's just nothing we're going to Chad: find out later that Max has a boyfriend

50:36

Chad: named Jeff, and she's not even interested

50:38

Chad: in Mike. Chad: Right, this line shouldn't be in this movie.

50:40

Chad: It's so frustrating Jeff.

50:43

Bo: this movie sucks so much.

50:46

Chad: Mike goes to Abby's room and Abby's drawing

50:48

Chad: pictures with her crayons and Mike says hey,

50:51

Chad: abby, tell me about this drawing.

50:54

Chad: And Abby says that's you, these are my

50:56

Chad: friends. Chad: And this happy little fellow in the sky is

50:59

Chad: the sun. Chad: Talk about a call back.

51:03

Chad: And Mike says that's great, we're going to

51:06

Chad: eat now. Chad: He sits on the bed and Abby says you're

51:09

Chad: sitting on my friend, and I'm like, oh so

51:11

Chad: she has imaginary friends. Bo: Also does not matter.

51:15

Bo: In the movie Chad Not at all, because at no

51:18

Bo: point does he mistake what's going on at

51:21

Bo: Freddy's for her having imaginary friends.

51:23

Bo: That is never a thing, so why on earth do Bo: it? Chad: Yeah, I'll get into it a little bit later,

51:27

Chad: but I think that there's a way that you Chad: could have stitched this together.

51:30

Chad: Just no one was paying attention at all. Chad: So Mike and Abby get into it and it ends

51:35

Chad: with Mike breaking some of Abby's crayons

51:38

Chad: hey, abs, be glad, that's all he broke. Chad: And Mike says fine, don't eat dinner.

51:43

Chad: But remember, kids, you don't eat dinner, Chad: Stay the same size forever and don't get to

51:48

Chad: ride the adult rides at the amusement park.

51:50

Chad: And I was like none of this matters. Chad: The imaginary friends, the broken crayons,

51:55

Chad: the amusement park bribe. Chad: Abby looks like a kid who has zero interest

51:59

Chad: in going to an amusement park. Bo: If she were drawing pictures of said

52:03

Bo: amusement parks, that would be something, Bo: but none of that.

52:08

Bo: Oh Chad, why doesn't? Chad: anything add up at this movie.

52:11

Chad: She tells Mike my friend thinks you're an

52:14

Chad: idiot and Mike says oh yeah, I'm real and

52:17

Chad: he leaves Uh-huh. Chad: At this moment I paused and I thought I

52:20

Chad: think most ventriloquists had imaginary

52:23

Chad: friends as children. Chad: And I think that Jeff.

52:26

Chad: Dunham's childhood, invisible friends were

52:28

Chad: all racist, sexist, homophobic nationalists.

52:31

Bo: Look ventriloquists, as children have to

52:33

Bo: get friends where they can find him, chad,

52:35

Bo: in the real world. Bo: It's going to be a harsh place for

52:39

Bo: harvesting that kind of friendship. Bo: Most of them are going to have to turn to

52:43

Bo: the invisible world. Chad: Later that night, mike, he pops some

52:46

Chad: sleeping pills, turns on his cassette tape

52:49

Chad: player, pops on his headphones and we hear

52:52

Chad: nature noises and he stares up at the visit

52:55

Chad: Nebraska for a sign above his bed and he

52:58

Chad: drifts off to the land of Nod where that

53:01

Chad: night he had a dream. Chad: He dreamt he was lighter than ether, a

53:05

Chad: floating spirit visiting things to come.

53:08

Chad: The shades and shadows of the people in his

53:10

Chad: life raised their way into his slumber.

53:14

Chad: He dreamt that Gale and Evelle had decided

53:16

Chad: to return to prison. Chad: Probably that's just as well.

53:19

Chad: He didn't mean to sound superior, they were

53:23

Chad: as well a couple of guys, but maybe they

53:25

Chad: weren't ready to come out into the real Chad: world.

53:29

Chad: Keep going. Chad: And then I dreamt on into the future

53:34

Chad: farther than I'd ever dreamed before, to a Chad: Christmas mourn in the Arizona home where

53:40

Chad: Nathan Jr was opening a present from a

53:43

Chad: kindly couple who preferred to remain

53:46

Chad: unknown. Chad: Oh, it's man.

53:49

Chad: Now there's a screenplay that does not have

53:53

Chad: a word or a shot out of place. Chad: You read the screenplay for Raising Arizona.

53:58

Chad: It is a blueprint for that movie.

54:00

Chad: The exception maybe, like one or two scenes Chad: that were left on the cutting room floor

54:04

Chad: that arguably didn't need to be. Bo: Yeah, like you said, that is a movie where

54:09

Bo: everything has a place and everything has Bo: setting, tone, characterization.

54:15

Bo: It all builds to a thing Story arc,

54:18

Bo: resolution, honest to goodness, jokes Like

54:21

Bo: I think there are jokes in this movie, Bo: although I'm not going to swear to that,

54:24

Bo: because nothing made me laugh or nothing Bo: was amusing Our hero, by the way, popping

54:30

Bo: pills, because all heroes do that and then

54:33

Bo: having this vision where the movie's like, Bo: hey, as if we weren't enough of a downer of

54:37

Bo: a film already and you're already confused Bo: as to who these people are and what the

54:40

Bo: fuck is going on, let's do this weird dream

54:44

Bo: flashback where, yes, it's a dream, but Bo: it's also a thing that totally happened

54:49

Bo: where, as a child, mike and his parents are

54:53

Bo: out camping, mike is put in charge of

54:56

Bo: watching the younger brother, garrett, who

54:58

Bo: goes missing, and the only thing you see is

55:01

Bo: a car pulling away and Mike screaming after

55:04

Bo: it. Chad: Garrett has also got a red toy airplane in

55:06

Chad: his hand. Bo: Yes, and then he wakes up.

55:09

Bo: I mean, that's sort of just. Bo: We establish the dream because we're going

55:12

Bo: to spend an inordinate amount of time in

55:15

Bo: this movie, in that dream. Chad: Also, anytime a kid is put into the back of

55:20

Chad: a car and driven away immediately hearkens

55:23

Chad: back to Mystic River. Chad: Yeah. Chad: Is that my girl in that car?

55:25

Chad: Is that my girl in that car? Chad: There are only a handful of movies that

55:30

Chad: I've only seen once that were excellent Chad: films that I will never, ever watch again.

55:36

Chad: Yeah, mystic River is on that list. Bo: It's a great movie, but it's one and done.

55:42

Chad: I've only seen Schindler's list from Chad: beginning to end once.

55:45

Chad: I think I will watch that again at some Chad: point in my life, but it made such a

55:48

Chad: lasting impact that I was like I don't know

55:50

Chad: that I can go through that again. Chad: I agree, I need some time, and watching

55:55

Chad: this kid drive off in the woods it's like Chad: this is horrible.

55:58

Bo: Yeah, and then we go to, I guess, a scene

56:01

Bo: that's sort of played for last, which is

56:04

Bo: Mary Stuart Masterson as the aunt in a

56:09

Bo: lawyer's office or social workers office.

56:11

Bo: I would never really sure what this Bo: character is. Bo: The woman behind the desk.

56:16

Chad: Yeah, she's like the principal social

56:18

Chad: worker, counselor, something or something

56:20

Chad: that has some sort of legal standing or Chad: something, but anyway.

56:24

Bo: So there's Mary Stuart Masterson as the Bo: aunt, her dumpy lawyer, doug and Mike, yeah,

56:30

Bo: and the guidance counselor slash principal,

56:32

Bo: slash social worker is apparently

56:35

Bo: adjudicating some sort of custody hearing.

56:38

Bo: She has no legal authority to do any of Bo: this? Chad: Do we know that for sure?

56:42

Chad: Good point, mary Stuart Masterson.

56:46

Chad: She was almost a member of the brat pack

56:48

Chad: you know with, like Robert Downey Jr and

56:50

Chad: Demi Moore and that whole cast of the Chad: breakfast club. Chad: She did a bunch of work in television later

56:55

Chad: in her career. Bo: Yeah, she's really good in some kind of

56:58

Bo: wonderful way. Chad: She's kind of having fun in this as much as

57:01

Chad: possible. Chad: She looks over at Mike in this setting and

57:04

Chad: she's like just look at my nephew. Chad: It's not even 10 o'clock and he can barely

57:08

Chad: keep his eyes open. Chad: This degenerate is the one they put in

57:11

Chad: charge of my mentally ill niece who loves

57:15

Chad: to color and talks to imaginary friends,

57:18

Chad: and I was like I'm not sure that a kid who Chad: likes to draw and talks to imaginary

57:20

Chad: friends should be tagged as mentally ill,

57:23

Chad: Absolutely not. Bo: She is seemingly a fairly normal child.

57:28

Chad: Completely, although I do like it when I

57:31

Chad: meet adults that have the audacity to refer

57:34

Chad: to a child as an old soul. Chad: That's totally code, for this kid is a

57:39

Chad: weirdo. Chad: Those kids that walk around wearing shawls

57:44

Chad: and reading 19th century poetry and drink

57:47

Chad: Earl Grey tea they really get into knitting

57:50

Chad: at an early age. Chad: Like in all of this is self-initiated.

57:54

Bo: Yeah, I have a friend of mine whose kid

57:56

Bo: ironically plays 80s music on a mandolin

58:00

Bo: which. Bo: I find very entertaining. Bo: Don't get me wrong.

58:02

Bo: I'm not sure how it plays to the larger Bo: crowd of students around them, but I'm into

58:06

Bo: it. Bo: But yeah, it's that kind of thing of like

58:09

Bo: this is an affectation. Chad: Here's something else that this movie just

58:12

Chad: butchers. Chad: They never explain what happened to Mike's

58:16

Chad: parents. Chad: They touch on it a little bit, one of them

58:19

Chad: is dead and then the other one just skips

58:21

Chad: tout. Chad: And the aunt is this?

58:23

Chad: The mom sister, the dad sister? Chad: Just having a line of dialogue, I promised

58:28

Chad: my sister I would make sure that their

58:30

Chad: youngest was taken care of. Bo: Something like that, right, just anything

58:34

Bo: again, I'm so frustrated by this movie not

58:37

Bo: giving you important pieces of information, Bo: and maybe this is stuff that's addressed in

58:41

Bo: the books or the games or something Bo: surrounding Five Nights at Freddy's.

58:45

Chad: I think all of this is new nonsense. Bo: But it's so poorly constructed Like almost

58:50

Bo: feels like it's a concerted effort to Bo: conceal important pieces of information

58:54

Bo: about these characters, like they are going Bo: out of their way to make it difficult to

58:58

Bo: understand what is happening in the Bo: relationships between people At this point

59:02

Bo: the school counselor slash principal lady.

59:04

Chad: She says Mary Stuart Masterson, you need to

59:06

Chad: calm down. Chad: And Mary Stuart Masterson says me, calm

59:09

Chad: down, I'm not the crazy one. Chad: Plus, did you hear that Mike over here beat

59:13

Chad: up a dad in front of his kid at the mall Chad: and he got fired from his job?

59:16

Chad: What a loser. Chad: I'm the one who's more responsible to take

59:19

Chad: care of that nut job of a weirdo kid Chad: outside. Chad: Doug the lawyer hand him the papers and

59:24

Chad: then Doug the shlubby lawyer, he hands over

59:26

Chad: some official looking papers and shows that

59:29

Chad: Mary Stuart Masterson is requesting

59:31

Chad: guardianship over Abby. Chad: Yes, this is where I want to pause for him,

59:34

Chad: please, and explain how you could make this

59:37

Chad: movie a little better, just with a few Chad: tweaks. Chad: Number one you don't have Mike be a dirtbag,

59:42

Chad: OK, prone to fits of rage and beating up Chad: innocent fathers.

59:45

Chad: Yeah. Bo: Yeah. Chad: In public. Bo: A heroic character acting heroic would be

59:49

Bo: great. Bo: Yes. Chad: Right, you can have that same scene.

59:52

Chad: Have Mike chase down the father and son and

59:54

Chad: confront him verbally, but then realize he

59:57

Chad: was in the wrong. Chad: Ok, you get the same outcome without as

1:00:01

Chad: many bloody knuckles as we see. Bo: May I tweak that very slightly Please?

1:00:05

Bo: So if he had confronted him and realized

1:00:08

Bo: the father being really angry and saying,

1:00:11

Bo: hey, this is my kid back off, that kind of Bo: thing. Bo: If Mike had then said something about you

1:00:15

Bo: need to take care of him I was worried

1:00:17

Bo: because he looked like he was in distress Bo: and you need to love your son and go for

1:00:21

Bo: the emotional beat there where you Bo: understand that Mike is kind of wounded and

1:00:25

Bo: is being haunted by this idea that he led

1:00:27

Bo: his brother down. Bo: And then you got a thing.

1:00:29

Chad: Absolutely. Chad: I completely agree. Chad: The scene following that you have Mike go

1:00:33

Chad: see Abby and you have the two of them bond

1:00:36

Chad: with each other. Chad: You show that they love each other and the

1:00:39

Chad: two are trying to get by the best they can.

1:00:41

Chad: You don't have him be at odds with Abby and

1:00:45

Chad: explain what happened to the mom and the Chad: dad. Chad: Here and in each of these cases, mike has

1:00:49

Chad: the best of intentions for other people.

1:00:52

Chad: The kid in the mall, as well as Abby, and Chad: Mike is someone that we as the audience

1:00:56

Chad: want to root for. Chad: Then, in this scene with the aunt, we're

1:00:59

Chad: rooting for Mike because you don't want him

1:01:01

Chad: to lose the one family member that he has

1:01:04

Chad: left and that he loves, and you know that Chad: Abby loves him as well.

1:01:07

Bo: And you've proven that. Bo: The one character trait that Mike has is he

1:01:11

Bo: wants to protect children. Bo: Right, and if you give him who doesn't love

1:01:15

Bo: a person who wants to help and save Bo: children at that point he is, you were

1:01:19

Bo: totally on his side for the entire movie. Chad: Give him a dog and done deal.

1:01:23

Chad: Pal Right, mike looks at these papers

1:01:26

Chad: requesting guardianship and he says oh,

1:01:28

Chad: what if I don't sign these papers? Chad: And Mary Stuart Masterson says well then

1:01:33

Chad: we'll see you in court and we'll make sure

1:01:35

Chad: you'll never see our sister again.

1:01:38

Chad: And both this, almost 20 minutes into the

1:01:41

Chad: movie, was the point where I realized

1:01:43

Chad: Abby's his sister. Chad: And then Mike says you don't even care

1:01:48

Chad: about Abby, you just want that monthly

1:01:50

Chad: check from the state. Chad: And I was like, wait, that's Mary Stuart

1:01:54

Chad: Masterson's motive, a monthly check from

1:01:56

Chad: the state. Chad: She's got lawyer money.

1:01:59

Chad: Like, how much is this check? Chad: If it's that much, why does Mike need a job?

1:02:03

Bo: If Mary Stuart Masterson is in financial

1:02:06

Bo: straits, just stop paying the lawyer and

1:02:08

Bo: that's your money for the month that you

1:02:10

Bo: would get from you know, taking care of the

1:02:13

Bo: child. Bo: Also way less headaches. Bo: Not paying a lawyer versus having a child

1:02:18

Bo: in your home. Chad: The Mary Stuart Masterson and character is

1:02:21

Chad: not needed in this film. Chad: She is a distracting second tier villain

1:02:26

Chad: with no real purpose other than serving as

1:02:29

Chad: a convoluted on ramp for some other

1:02:31

Chad: characters who we'll talk about in just a

1:02:33

Chad: moment. Chad: All you have to do in this film is take the

1:02:35

Chad: Mary Stuart Masterson character and go cast

1:02:37

Chad: that social worker lady from the Megan

1:02:40

Chad: movie and have her serve the same purpose

1:02:42

Chad: that she did in the Megan movie, Chad: essentially coming in saying like hey, Mike,

1:02:45

Chad: if you don't get a job, improve that you

1:02:48

Chad: are providing a stable environment for Abby.

1:02:51

Chad: The state is going to take her, put her in Chad: a home and you're going to lose your sister.

1:02:55

Chad: Done and done. Chad: Yes, you don't have to have this Cruella

1:02:58

Chad: DeVille character show up wanting to take

1:03:00

Chad: Abby and strip off her skin to make a coat

1:03:03

Chad: or something. Bo: Yes, although that would have been much Bo: better if they'd done that.

1:03:06

Bo: After Doug and Mary Stuart Masterson leave,

1:03:10

Bo: even Mike just turns to the principal slash

1:03:14

Bo: social worker and is like you know, I think

1:03:16

Bo: she's right. Bo: I suck at this and you're like how am I

1:03:19

Bo: supposed to root for you if you're not Bo: rooting for yourself?

1:03:23

Chad: He says to this principal lady I'm hardly

1:03:26

Chad: fit to raise a kid. Chad: I'm prone to fits of rage.

1:03:31

Chad: I take a lot of pills. Bo: I haven't fed her in two, no three days.

1:03:37

Bo: Dog food is expensive for a kid.

1:03:40

Bo: What the social worker slash principal even

1:03:44

Bo: says, like she has to talk a bit to it. Bo: Like you know, pictures are very powerful

1:03:47

Bo: for children. Bo: And guess who's in all of Abby's pictures?

1:03:52

Bo: It's you beating people up and yelling. Bo: Yeah, I guess you're right that.

1:03:57

Bo: I guess I'm important to her and she's like

1:04:00

Bo: look first things first. Bo: You need to find a steady job that doesn't

1:04:05

Bo: end with you beating someone up. Bo: Is there a job that you know of where you

1:04:09

Bo: would be completely alone in an isolated

1:04:12

Bo: environment where you can do almost no

1:04:14

Bo: damage? Chad: Just a few scenes ago, matthew Lilller gave

1:04:18

Chad: me this, this card with a number on it, and

1:04:20

Chad: he has a job that I could take. Chad: Maybe I could call him.

1:04:24

Chad: Yes, mike, do that. Bo: All right, just get him out of my office at

1:04:28

Bo: the school or government building where I

1:04:30

Bo: work. Chad: So Mike and Abby, they return home and Mike

1:04:34

Chad: picks up the phone and calls Matthew Chad: Lillard using an old style push button

1:04:39

Chad: phone. Chad: What? Bo: year is this? Bo: I know?

1:04:42

Bo: I swear to God, if somebody on this Bo: production team was like, no, we want to

1:04:45

Bo: make it timeless, you can go fuck yourself. Bo: I need to know when this movie is taking

1:04:50

Bo: place, because when you specifically Bo: reference a time period later, you're like,

1:04:54

Bo: oh, it happened in the 80s. Bo: Ok, great. Bo: So when is this?

1:04:57

Bo: Give me some reference for anything?

1:04:59

Chad: Fix up the earpiece and gives the old timey

1:05:02

Chad: phone a crank like Sarah. Chad: Get me Mount Pilate, yeah.

1:05:04

Bo: Freddy's 467,. Bo: Please Connecting yes, Lillard here.

1:05:09

Chad: Mike calls Matthew Lillard, says he'll take

1:05:11

Chad: the job and Matthew Lillard then gives us a

1:05:14

Chad: whole bunch of exposition and he says like

1:05:17

Chad: let me give you a little backstory on this

1:05:19

Chad: job. Chad: Like back in the 80s, man, this place was

1:05:23

Chad: huge with kids, but it's been shut down for

1:05:26

Chad: years. Chad: Like it's not been given the wrecking ball

1:05:29

Chad: because the owner is a sentimental kind of

1:05:31

Chad: guy. Chad: I guess he had some troubles with break-ins

1:05:34

Chad: with like drunks and vagrants mostly.

1:05:36

Chad: Like there's a security system with cameras

1:05:39

Chad: inside and out and the electricity is a bit

1:05:42

Chad: iffy. Chad: If anything happens, man, like flip the

1:05:44

Chad: power breaker in the office and just watch

1:05:47

Chad: the monitors and keep the people out.

1:05:49

Chad: Like it's a piece of cake. Chad: Man. Bo: And this is heavily taken from the first

1:05:54

Bo: game, like they're you know, these are the

1:05:56

Bo: instructions given which begs the question

1:05:59

Bo: why don't they ever do the thing that

1:06:01

Bo: happens in the game, which would actually

1:06:03

Bo: work in this movie, where he's watching the

1:06:06

Bo: monitors and seeing these things move

1:06:08

Bo: around, even if it's just for like a night,

1:06:10

Bo: and then you get back to the other story Bo: that I don't care about.

1:06:13

Chad: Right, but why not do the thing that the

1:06:15

Chad: game is famous for. Chad: It seems like it lends itself to a

1:06:18

Chad: suspenseful moment of the doors opening and

1:06:21

Chad: closing and the lights going off and on. Chad: Yeah Well, also, they waver back and forth

1:06:26

Chad: as to whether or not the lumbering robots

1:06:30

Chad: are actual bad guys. Bo: Right Another problem with this movie am I

1:06:34

Bo: supposed to be sympathetic towards these Bo: horrifying animatronic monsters or am I

1:06:38

Bo: supposed to think they are horrifying Bo: animatronic monsters?

1:06:40

Bo: Yes, and the movie never clearly says Not

1:06:45

Bo: at all Up until the end. Chad: It's either or both and neither, but all of

1:06:49

Chad: that at the same time and at the same time. Chad: None of that.

1:06:51

Chad: Yes, mike, during all of this exposition he

1:06:54

Chad: approaches the rundown Freddy Fazbear's

1:06:56

Chad: location. Chad: He goes inside and the place doesn't really

1:07:00

Chad: look too worse for the wear. Bo: Yeah, it looks like you could do some light

1:07:04

Bo: dusting in this place is ready for business. Chad: Mike lips on the main power breaker, and

1:07:10

Chad: the front of the place lights up with this Chad: cartoon sign with the bear on it and all of

1:07:14

Chad: these dancing lights. Chad: The building now screams come here.

1:07:17

Chad: We're possibly over Right, why on?

1:07:20

Bo: earth. Bo: Would you have all of this stuff still

1:07:23

Bo: turned on Again, looking at Matthew

1:07:25

Bo: Lillard's end game here, which is I now own

1:07:29

Bo: this building that is kept in working order,

1:07:32

Bo: where I have murdered children.

1:07:34

Bo: Spoilers. Chad: Years, if not decades ago.

1:07:37

Bo: You're right, and I stopped, which is great,

1:07:39

Bo: sure, but I still might do it occasionally.

1:07:42

Bo: Some light child murder, a hobby, great,

1:07:44

Bo: where you're not doing it as you know, like,

1:07:47

Bo: hey, you want to make something you love

1:07:49

Bo: into something you hate. Bo: Do it for a job, and Matthew Lillard has

1:07:53

Bo: learned this lesson. Bo: It's like I can't just kill children all

1:07:56

Bo: the time, because then it becomes work and

1:07:58

Bo: I want to enjoy it. Chad: You think it's a great idea to go live in

1:08:01

Chad: Las Vegas when you move there and a month

1:08:03

Chad: later you're like this was a mistake. Bo: Yeah, so he is taking I don't know five

1:08:08

Bo: years, 10 years, 30 years off, whenever

1:08:11

Bo: this is after the 80s. Chad: Let's also touch on the fact that Matthew

1:08:15

Chad: Lillard was looking at his name and it's

1:08:17

Chad: like oh, you happen to have the last name

1:08:20

Chad: of a kid that I murdered. Chad: Yes, you should come work as a security

1:08:24

Chad: guard at the place, then gets upset when he

1:08:26

Chad: starts to sniff around and figure things Chad: out.

1:08:29

Chad: Also, this place is full of robots that are

1:08:32

Chad: haunted with ghost children, that sing

1:08:34

Chad: secrets that you keep by the romantics over

1:08:37

Chad: and over again. Bo: Yes. Chad: Alright.

1:08:39

Chad: So Mike's in the back office and there's a

1:08:42

Chad: top load VCR with a tape in it with his

1:08:45

Chad: name on the outside. Chad: Mike smashes it down and hits play and we

1:08:49

Chad: see this 80s era training video for

1:08:52

Chad: security guards at Freddy Fazbear's and it Chad: tells you nothing.

1:08:55

Chad: You know she's just like hey welcome for Chad: being a security guard here.

1:08:59

Chad: The owner of this place had two passions

1:09:01

Chad: family entertainment and free roaming Chad: robots with lithium batteries to terrify

1:09:06

Chad: adults and children alike.

1:09:08

Chad: And then there's some distortion in the Chad: video that hints that things are a little

1:09:11

Chad: wonky. Chad: So Mike naturally smacks the TV, not

1:09:14

Chad: understanding that this is not an issue Chad: with the monitor.

1:09:16

Chad: It's probably the cassette tape or the Chad: player itself.

1:09:19

Chad: Mike, you unlikable dummy. Chad: For some reason other than it was what was

1:09:24

Chad: next in the script, mike goes over and

1:09:27

Chad: opens a locker where we are greeted with a

1:09:30

Chad: failed jump scare including a nine inch

1:09:32

Chad: tall balloon boy figurine.

1:09:35

Chad: It kind of looks like it has one of those Chad: oversized bobbleheads and the kids holding

1:09:39

Chad: a balloon and wearing a beanie cap, and Chad: it's not even that creepy of a figurine.

1:09:42

Chad: And it's never explained in the movie Chad: either. Chad: It's in the movie a lot, and it's other

1:09:45

Chad: than here's this thing. Bo: I think it's some kind of collectible from

1:09:49

Bo: the game. Bo: Maybe maybe it's got to be some kind of nod

1:09:54

Bo: to the games that I just haven't played

1:09:56

Bo: enough to get. Bo: But again, why on earth fill your movie

1:10:00

Bo: with stuff that is going to make it Bo: impossible for someone who has not gone

1:10:04

Bo: down the rabbit hole of these games, Like, Bo: yeah, I mean it was successful and all that,

1:10:08

Bo: but it is just impenetrable to anyone who

1:10:12

Bo: is not already in the world. Bo: Why do you want to get an increasing share

1:10:16

Bo: of a shrinking market as opposed to make

1:10:18

Bo: this accessible for everyone? Chad: Put yourself in Mike's shoes.

1:10:21

Chad: You walk over and you open a locker let's

1:10:23

Chad: assume Matthew Lillard said there was a Chad: security vest for you to wear in a locker

1:10:27

Chad: and you open the locker and you see this Chad: figurine that's the height of a soft drink,

1:10:31

Chad: can? Chad: It's not going to scare you?

1:10:33

Bo: No, no, no, no, You're not going to. Bo: Oh right, you would be like what the fuck

1:10:36

Bo: is this thing? Chad: I knew a guy who used to go and purchase

1:10:41

Chad: large cardboard cutouts of people and leave

1:10:45

Chad: them at work. Chad: It was in a restaurant, like in storage

1:10:48

Chad: rooms and in where we kept the liquor, and

1:10:51

Chad: he bought a six foot tall stone cold Steve

1:10:54

Chad: Austin. Chad: He got a giant cutout of Jim Carrey in the

1:10:58

Chad: mask from an old Hollywood video and he

1:11:01

Chad: would just leave them in there to scare the Chad: shit out of people when they opened up

1:11:04

Chad: these dark closets and found what they

1:11:06

Chad: initially thought was a human being waiting Chad: for them Albeit, one of them wearing a

1:11:10

Chad: yellow suit suit and the other one wearing Chad: tiny little black man panties holding a

1:11:14

Chad: crumpled beer can. Chad: Uh-huh, but that scared people.

1:11:17

Chad: I get that Sure. Chad: Oh my God, there's a person here.

1:11:19

Chad: I didn't open a locker and see a precious

1:11:22

Chad: moments figurine in there and shit my pants.

1:11:24

Bo: I like that bit of chaos that your coworker

1:11:26

Bo: was introducing, yeah, but you're right, Bo: within the context of this movie, this

1:11:31

Bo: doesn't make sense and it's irrelevant and

1:11:33

Bo: unnecessary. Bo: There's even a post credit stinger with

1:11:35

Bo: this same gag in it and it's like I don't Bo: get this because there's nothing to get.

1:11:39

Chad: It doesn't make any sense. Bo: Oh, I hate this so much Shit.

1:11:43

Chad: Mike wanders around the pizzeria and he

1:11:46

Chad: makes his way over to that big wall of

1:11:48

Chad: crayon drawings we saw in the opening Chad: credits and he goes past the tables in the

1:11:53

Chad: dining room and he hears a kvunk in the Chad: back and Mike says hello, because it's

1:11:58

Chad: probably one of those drunk vagrants. Chad: Mm-hmm.

1:12:00

Chad: And Mike pulls back the curtain a bit and

1:12:02

Chad: for the first time, we get to see the Chad: Freddie Fazbear characters, including

1:12:06

Chad: Freddie Fazbear, chica the chick, bonnie

1:12:09

Chad: the bunny and Foxy the pirate fox.

1:12:11

Chad: There is also a character in Chica's hand Chad: known as Mr Cupcake.

1:12:15

Chad: Uh-huh. Chad: Who, as you might guess, is a pink frosted

1:12:17

Chad: cupcake with buck teeth and eyeballs.

1:12:20

Bo: Who plays a larger than necessary role in

1:12:23

Bo: this movie, for it being a movie called

1:12:26

Bo: Five Nights at Freddy's Freddy's is Bo: surprisingly irrelevant to this movie.

1:12:29

Chad: Right. Chad: Also, they never explain why this is called

1:12:32

Chad: Five Nights at Freddy's. Chad: You could have fixed this by having Matthew

1:12:35

Chad: Lillard say here's the job. Chad: You're going to have a probationary period.

1:12:39

Chad: If you can survive the job for Five Nights, Chad: I'll hire you full time.

1:12:42

Chad: So, Mike, after getting the lay of the land,

1:12:44

Chad: he goes back to the security room with the

1:12:47

Chad: monitors and he immediately falls asleep.

1:12:51

Bo: Right, there's a point this movie will get Bo: to, where somebody specifically says just

1:12:54

Bo: stop sleeping at work. Bo: Cut to him falling asleep at work.

1:12:57

Bo: It's like you suck at this. Bo: No wonder you can't hold down a job.

1:13:01

Chad: He has two modes it's silence and rage.

1:13:05

Chad: He's from the Al Pacino School of

1:13:08

Chad: Employment. Bo: The Al Pacino Narcoleptic School of Acty,

1:13:12

Bo: where this Freddy Fosman needs to have a

1:13:15

Bo: flamethrower taken to him. Chad: Chica Foxy, mr Cupcake, fuck you too.

1:13:26

Bo: Say hello to my little friend.

1:13:28

Chad: All right. Chad: So Mike falls asleep and he's having his

1:13:31

Chad: dream and it goes through the same motions Chad: we saw the first time.

1:13:34

Chad: But this time Mike turns around in the Chad: woods and he is surrounded by five children.

1:13:39

Chad: Anyone choosing to pay close attention to

1:13:42

Chad: this movie might realize that the five kids

1:13:45

Chad: in the woods staring at Mike one of them is

1:13:47

Chad: wearing rabbit ears, one of them has a

1:13:50

Chad: brown shirt, one is dressed in a red shirt,

1:13:54

Chad: one has a flat top hat, like he's on his

1:13:56

Chad: way to Barbershop Quartet rehearsal, and

1:13:59

Chad: one is dressed in a yellow shirt.

1:14:02

Chad: And these kids represent the animatronics

1:14:05

Chad: in the movie. Chad: But this is not as explicitly spelled out

1:14:10

Chad: as it should be for a movie like this.

1:14:13

Bo: You know, I kind of clocked what was Bo: happening here, and I don't mind that being

1:14:17

Bo: more subtle, I suppose, because at least

1:14:19

Bo: it's something, it's at least somebody Bo: caring about what's happening in this movie,

1:14:23

Bo: and I'll give it points for effort here.

1:14:25

Bo: When there are so few moments in this movie

1:14:28

Bo: that speak of we care about this thing and

1:14:31

Bo: want it to be good, and this is one of Bo: those few moments where like, oh, somebody

1:14:36

Bo: was trying here, that's nice, mike says hey,

1:14:38

Bo: weird kids. Chad: did you see my brother get abducted by that

1:14:41

Chad: guy in that car that drove away? Chad: And then all the kids scatter in different

1:14:44

Chad: directions and Mike chases the kid in the Chad: brown shirt.

1:14:47

Chad: But Mike trips over rock and falls down and

1:14:49

Chad: he wakes up from sleeping on the job.

1:14:51

Chad: So that's night one. Chad: Mike goes back home where Max the

1:14:55

Chad: babysitter not his girlfriend or his sister

1:14:58

Chad: she's sleeping on the couch and I thought Chad: how much is he paying her to sleep at his

1:15:02

Chad: house overnight? Chad: And does this security job pay Mike enough

1:15:06

Chad: money to cover the cost of an overnight

1:15:08

Chad: babysitter? Bo: Oh wait, chad this is at least answered in

1:15:11

Bo: the script when he says um, I promise I'm

1:15:14

Bo: going to pay you eventually. Chad: That's not how it works.

1:15:18

Bo: Payment is due upon receipt of services man

1:15:21

Bo: yeah, and then she's like that's okay, mike,

1:15:24

Bo: then she fucks off. Chad: If you want to make Mike a more likeable

1:15:27

Chad: character you touch on this earlier Just Chad: make Max his living girlfriend who's trying

1:15:31

Chad: to fix his troubled soul. Chad: And she's the one like hey, I'll keep an

1:15:34

Chad: eye on Abby, you got this night job, you go Chad: do what you got to do.

1:15:37

Chad: That'd be great, just do that. Bo: Yeah, how about anything, anything that

1:15:40

Bo: makes him likeable? Bo: That'd be great. Bo: Mike goes to check in on Abby who is still

1:15:45

Bo: asleep. Bo: Of course she got some of his pills.

1:15:48

Bo: Well, you know, he leaves them in the Bo: drawer right under his 1980s era Walkman I

1:15:53

Bo: thought you were going to say his pit house

1:15:55

Bo: and hustler magazines. Bo: That would make him more likeable as a

1:15:58

Bo: character, because at least it would make Bo: him relatable.

1:16:01

Chad: We've learned when you give a character Chad: pornography in a movie, that makes them

1:16:04

Chad: likeable at that, and when they pull a Chad: flask out and kind of give it the, you're

1:16:09

Chad: like, oh, you're a sad character that I'm

1:16:11

Chad: not supposed to empathize with. Bo: We watch movies very differently.

1:16:16

Bo: Basically, anytime Jeff Bridges pulls out a

1:16:18

Bo: flask in a movie which is about 90% of his

1:16:21

Bo: performances, I am more on board with his

1:16:23

Bo: character. Chad: You know, a movie that I really disliked

1:16:26

Chad: was something about Mary, and I only found

1:16:29

Chad: one scene in that movie to genuinely make

1:16:32

Chad: me laugh out loud, and it's the scene where

1:16:35

Chad: we first meet Matt Dillon's character as

1:16:38

Chad: the private investigator and he stands up Chad: from behind his desk and his pants the belt

1:16:43

Chad: is open and they're undone and the zipper

1:16:45

Chad: is down as a characteristic of being a real

1:16:50

Chad: sleazeball. Bo: This dude was just sitting at work with his

1:16:53

Bo: pants really open because he was stroking

1:16:56

Bo: it at some point. Chad: Maybe not now, but he was the spectrum of

1:16:59

Chad: what was going on, from anything that was Chad: more self gratifying to just like I just

1:17:04

Chad: need to air things out a little bit.

1:17:06

Bo: Have you ever been in that position? Bo: I'm just trying to think of a time where I

1:17:09

Bo: felt like I needed some breeze. Chad: The place looked like it didn't have very

1:17:13

Chad: good air conditioning. Chad: I'm trying to give him a bit of it, so

1:17:15

Chad: let's get back to this movie, which is

1:17:18

Chad: arguably worse than something about Mary.

1:17:20

Chad: I would agree with that. Chad: We got to this diner where Mary Stuart

1:17:23

Chad: Masterson and her sad sack lawyer, doug,

1:17:25

Chad: are there and, shocker of shockers, bo Max,

1:17:29

Chad: the babysitter, is there with her Chad: aforementioned boyfriend, jeff.

1:17:33

Chad: Now the waiter comes over and Mary Stuart

1:17:35

Chad: Masterson informs the waiter that they are

1:17:37

Chad: not eating, and then there's a little back Chad: and forth about breakfast being the most

1:17:41

Chad: important meal of the day. Chad: Now the waiter is played by YouTuber Matt

1:17:44

Chad: Pat, who was the individual that created a

1:17:47

Chad: detailed analysis of video game mythologies,

1:17:51

Chad: including the Five Nights at Freddy's, one Chad: that I watched, and for those who are in

1:17:55

Chad: the know, this was a huge deal that he had

1:17:58

Chad: a part in this movie. Chad: All right, tell those kids that you work

1:18:02

Chad: with that. Chad: Hey, did you see Matt Pat, and that'll

1:18:04

Chad: score you some points. Chad: They know, I don't care.

1:18:07

Chad: You can pretend like you care. Bo: Yeah, I blew their minds when I let them

1:18:11

Bo: know I knew what rainbow six siege was. Bo: I've got all the points I need.

1:18:14

Bo: Right now they're scheming. Bo: They're in a diner plotting.

1:18:19

Chad: Mary Stuart Masterson berates Max. Chad: She's like what am I in yet and get an A

1:18:23

Chad: dirt on Mike? Chad: And she's like, no, he's a pretty good guy.

1:18:26

Chad: She's trying to take care of Abby. Chad: And then the boyfriend, Jeff, Chimes it hey,

1:18:29

Chad: Mary Stuart Masterson, you need to pay us Chad: the $200 you owe us.

1:18:32

Chad: And by us I mean Max, because she did all Chad: the babysitting for no money.

1:18:35

Chad: And this was the one moment in the movie Chad: that made me laugh. Chad: Doug the sad sack lawyer says I shouldn't

1:18:40

Chad: be here. Chad: I shouldn't be hearing any of that, Right.

1:18:43

Bo: And Mary Stuart Masterson kind of sits them

1:18:45

Bo: down, which makes me think that they're in Bo: some kind of weird sexual relationship

1:18:48

Bo: where she's definitely in charge. Bo: We definitely watch movies differently.

1:18:53

Bo: So this boyfriend Jeff is like why don't we

1:18:56

Bo: just kill him? Chad: I like the way you think, but that's a

1:18:59

Chad: little bit too much for right now. Chad: What's your plan be?

1:19:02

Bo: Doug immediately gets up against like I Bo: definitely don't need to be here for

1:19:05

Bo: accessory to murder. Chad: Sit down, dougie, you're not going anywhere.

1:19:08

Chad: Yes, ma'am. Bo: Yeah, so he sits back down.

1:19:10

Bo: Remember, I want you to wear that skirt

1:19:13

Bo: later. Chad: Jeff comes in with plan B. Chad: What if we just go in and toss the place?

1:19:16

Chad: No break in, mess it up, mike gets fired,

1:19:19

Chad: you get Abby. Chad: It's a plan so stupid Even the laziest of

1:19:22

Chad: screenwriters could think of it and you Chad: give us $2,000.

1:19:26

Bo: I like it, but how about 1000?

1:19:28

Bo: All right, that seems like more weight.

1:19:32

Bo: And so, anyway, they're off to roll this

1:19:34

Bo: place. Bo: Cut to Mike on his bed.

1:19:36

Bo: He's jumping on the bed to get the Nebraska

1:19:39

Bo: poster down. Bo: Abby comes in wearing his best and it's

1:19:42

Bo: like I want to come with you to work. Bo: And he's like I don't think that's a good

1:19:46

Bo: idea because I got to do a lot of sleep in

1:19:48

Bo: there and I don't have time to watch you Bo: and sleep.

1:19:52

Bo: And then Max shows up and is like hey, Bo: don't you have to go to work?

1:19:55

Bo: He's like, yeah, abby's in a real mood.

1:19:57

Bo: So you know, you got your hands full

1:20:00

Bo: tonight and I know I still haven't paid you,

1:20:03

Bo: but I'm gone. Bo: One day I'll tell you what.

1:20:05

Bo: Let me give you some imaginary bucks 50,

1:20:09

Bo: 100, 150.

1:20:12

Bo: Let's make it a thousand imaginary dollars.

1:20:15

Bo: You can spend these in your dreams.

1:20:18

Chad: So off he goes to work. Chad: There's a thunderstorm outside for

1:20:21

Chad: atmosphere in the back room. Chad: He has now placed his visit Nebraska poster

1:20:27

Chad: above the security monitors lightning

1:20:29

Chad: flashes. Bo: We do get a silhouette of bunny ears as he

1:20:32

Bo: sleeps at the security desk, just to let

1:20:34

Bo: you know that creepy things are afoot. Bo: Not that you're going to see any of those

1:20:38

Bo: anytime soon, but you know it's nice to let Bo: you know that somewhere else in the movie a

1:20:41

Bo: movie is happening. Chad: Mike, of course, is asleep having the same

1:20:45

Chad: dream. Chad: Those five kids show up. Chad: Mike asked them hey, don't run.

1:20:49

Chad: And then they run and Mike chases them. Chad: But this time he decides to chase the kid

1:20:53

Chad: in the orange-ish red shirt because he's a

1:20:56

Chad: little bit of a porker. Bo: I can catch this one.

1:21:02

Chad: He grabs this kid and the child swipes at

1:21:05

Chad: his arm and the kid screams and his eyes

1:21:09

Chad: are now all black and dripping with goo,

1:21:11

Chad: which you've seen in multiple other movies. Chad: Mike wakes up and there is a young, blonde

1:21:17

Chad: haired female police officer knocking on

1:21:20

Chad: the door of Freddie Fazbear. Chad: Now her name is Officer Vanessa.

1:21:25

Chad: When Mike opens the door, she says hey,

1:21:28

Chad: you're bleeding. Chad: Come on, I know where they keep the first

1:21:31

Chad: aid kits in this place. Bo: Okay, what.

1:21:35

Chad: Officer Vanessa takes Mike to the back Chad: office and she gets the bandages and

1:21:39

Chad: Officer Vanessa says I love what you've

1:21:41

Chad: done to the place. Chad: Say the Nebraska poster with the forest.

1:21:46

Chad: Why Nebraska? Chad: Never mind, there's no need to answer my

1:21:49

Chad: question. Chad: Well, she also tells him she is a certified

1:21:53

Chad: EMT. Bo: Oh yeah, well, that's because everybody is

1:21:56

Bo: everything in this movie. Bo: You're a principal slash.

1:21:58

Bo: Guidance counselor, slash, attorney. Bo: You're a cop slash.

1:22:02

Bo: Emt, slash, cpa, slash plot critical

1:22:05

Bo: character, yeah, and she's like hey, have

1:22:08

Bo: you met them yet? Bo: Then she goes around flipping on lights

1:22:11

Bo: again, letting us know that she has a Bo: connection to this place far beyond

1:22:15

Bo: anything Mike is even asking about, because

1:22:17

Bo: she knows literally everything, she knows

1:22:20

Bo: where everything is. Bo: Oh, hey, you got to jiggle this one a

1:22:22

Bo: little bit. Bo: He's like what? Bo: And then she casually mentions oh, I'm sure

1:22:28

Bo: you've heard about all the kids that went Bo: missing too. Bo: And he's like the kids.

1:22:32

Bo: Mike, you are the worst protagonist in film

1:22:35

Bo: history. Bo: You don't know shit about shit and have no

1:22:37

Bo: curiosity. Bo: And then there's just a short, all the

1:22:40

Bo: animatronics go down before they can start

1:22:43

Bo: dancing around and whatnot. Bo: Also, vanessa, inexplicably, as the music

1:22:48

Bo: starts kicking up, she's like shall we Bo: dance, mike?

1:22:51

Bo: What is this character? Bo: What is happening here?

1:22:54

Bo: She is the EMT, slash police officer.

1:22:57

Bo: Slash dance instructor. Bo: Slash is immediately attracted to this

1:23:01

Bo: loser that she found sleeping on the job

1:23:05

Bo: Like, and she also points out. Chad: when I was bandaging your arm, your blood

1:23:09

Chad: pressure is elevated and your eyes are

1:23:11

Chad: dilated. Chad: You're clearly on drugs.

1:23:14

Chad: You haven't shaved in a week. Chad: You smell bad.

1:23:18

Bo: Here's my number, call me and he is

1:23:21

Bo: neglected to tell her yet about the child

1:23:23

Bo: that he's neglecting at home. Bo: So he really wants to seal the deal.

1:23:27

Bo: Oh, I also have a sister that I am not

1:23:29

Bo: paying attention to. Chad: It's also, in my opinion, not strange that

1:23:33

Chad: she knows where things are in this building,

1:23:36

Chad: because I thought she just worked there

1:23:38

Chad: once upon a time. Chad: It wasn't so suspicious.

1:23:42

Chad: In fact, if you'd been smart, you would Chad: have said I used to work here, yes.

1:23:46

Chad: And then you're like, oh, that's how she Chad: knows this stuff.

1:23:48

Chad: And then when you get the wink, wink, big

1:23:50

Chad: reveal at the end, you're like oh she was

1:23:53

Chad: lying. Bo: Yes, that would be great.

1:23:55

Bo: Any of that would be fine. Chad: Instead, what you get is nothing, hey

1:23:59

Chad: you're not an official security night sleep

1:24:02

Chad: person. Chad: And she goes over to the prize drawers and

1:24:05

Chad: she pulls out a Freddie Fazbear security

1:24:08

Chad: badge and pins it onto Mike and she's like

1:24:11

Chad: now you're official, all right. Chad: So we cut to the next morning and the sun's

1:24:15

Chad: coming up and Mike is locking up the place

1:24:17

Chad: and Officer Vanessa, who is still there,

1:24:20

Chad: yeah, her patrol is apparently this old,

1:24:23

Chad: abandoned building and the surrounding Chad: parking lot.

1:24:26

Chad: And then she says don't let this place get

1:24:29

Chad: to you, Do your job and you'll be fine.

1:24:32

Bo: What are you again, besides coming in here

1:24:34

Bo: bandaging my arm, kind of flirting with me,

1:24:37

Bo: not answering direct questions, dancing to

1:24:40

Bo: the Romantics secrets that you keep.

1:24:43

Bo: Yeah. Bo: So after he leaves this Shlub, jeff calls

1:24:47

Bo: Max and is like hey, you need to come join

1:24:50

Bo: me as soon as Mike is home, because we're

1:24:52

Bo: here at Freddy's and we're ready to toss

1:24:55

Bo: this place. Bo: Yeah, and so they are then joined by some

1:24:58

Bo: old fat dude. Chad: And some younger guy like these two

1:25:04

Chad: nameless goons. Bo: Absolutely, and in my notes they were fat

1:25:08

Bo: dude and earphones kid, because those are Bo: their defining characteristics they don't

1:25:12

Bo: really speak and they don't really have Bo: names.

1:25:14

Bo: They're just fat dude and earphones kid. Chad: Yeah, and the fat dude is in his fifties.

1:25:19

Chad: Yeah, he looks like the kind of guy who is

1:25:22

Chad: a mall Santa. Chad: You're on the fence as to whether or not

1:25:25

Chad: you're going to let your kid go talk to Chad: this dude. Chad: Maybe I don't.

1:25:29

Bo: I know he's got a record, but still, the

1:25:31

Bo: line is short and we're here there is a

1:25:35

Bo: dude that showed up in a bunch of 80s

1:25:39

Bo: sitcoms that look exactly like this guy,

1:25:44

Bo: mickey Jones. Bo: If you look up Mickey Jones, oh yeah, I

1:25:47

Bo: know this guy. Bo: Yeah, you absolutely know who Mickey Jones

1:25:50

Bo: is. Bo: If you were to the age him digitally 15 to

1:25:55

Bo: 20 years, it would be this fat guy

1:25:57

Bo: wandering around Freddy's. Chad: Yeah, I can see that this guy has been in

1:26:00

Chad: everything. Bo: What? Bo: How did I miss the fat bearded guy boat on

1:26:04

Bo: this? Bo: You know, I could have been the one in

1:26:06

Bo: Grizzly Adams in the Legend of Dark Bo: Mountain, chad that could have been me.

1:26:10

Bo: Or it came from outer space to, or in the

1:26:13

Bo: heat of the night, one episode. Bo: Or in the Colby's, one episode.

1:26:20

Bo: Or the trucker and star man, any of these

1:26:22

Bo: things that, that could have been me. Chad: It could have, but it was a real sliding

1:26:25

Chad: door situation. Chad: Yeah, so they start trashing this place as

1:26:28

Chad: they're smashing up the place, the

1:26:31

Chad: headphones guy ends up in the kitchen and

1:26:33

Chad: something in the refrigerator rumbles, so Chad: he opens it up, like you do in situations

1:26:37

Chad: like this. Chad: And he finds Mr Cupcake, the robot with the

1:26:41

Chad: pink icing and the buck teeth and the big Chad: eyes, headphones, goon turns around and

1:26:44

Chad: then, when he looks back at the fridge, mr Chad: Cupcake is gone.

1:26:47

Chad: But then, when he returns his gaze back to

1:26:49

Chad: the kitchen, here Chica, the six foot tall

1:26:52

Chad: robot chicken, is holding Mr Cupcake, who

1:26:54

Chad: now has on his angry eyes. Chad: And Mr Cupcake leaps in the air towards

1:26:59

Chad: this goon, killing him with his big

1:27:01

Chad: chompers. Chad: I guess, and then the fat hillbilly goon.

1:27:06

Chad: How did this crew get assembled? Bo: Right, how did they all meet?

1:27:09

Bo: This feels like a real like. Bo: We were all there for Jan 6th.

1:27:12

Bo: They met at the arraignment when they were

1:27:14

Bo: all in Pelosi's office. Bo: Were you the one who got her gavel?

1:27:18

Bo: I was man. Bo: You were my hero. Bo: Let's go toss up Chuck E Cheese.

1:27:22

Chad: Dude, I want to shake the hand of the man

1:27:24

Chad: who smeared shit down the walls of the Chad: Capitol.

1:27:27

Chad: Give it here. Bo: Brother, you're a real patriot.

1:27:30

Bo: I haven't taken a shit in the hollowed

1:27:32

Bo: halls of the seat of our government.

1:27:35

Bo: You ought to be on Mount Rushmore for

1:27:38

Bo: having had the courage to take a shit on

1:27:40

Bo: the desk of the Alexa of the house.

1:27:43

Bo: My hat is off to you, sir, and I tip my

1:27:46

Bo: mullet in your direction. Chad: Fat bearded guy.

1:27:49

Chad: He's in the main dining room and he hears Chad: some rumblings in the air ducts that lead

1:27:54

Chad: to the kitchen. Chad: So he wanders over and he sees Mr Cupcake

1:27:57

Chad: with his mouth around the head of the

1:27:59

Chad: younger goon. Chad: And then Chica looks over at the bearded

1:28:04

Chad: fat old man and gives him the stink eye.

1:28:07

Chad: So you're like, oh, this guy's in trouble Chad: Right.

1:28:09

Chad: Then we cut over to Jeff, who is wandering

1:28:11

Chad: around and stealing what he can and

1:28:14

Chad: honestly, this is not a very big restaurant.

1:28:16

Chad: It's not like they're in some haunted house Chad: with multiple levels, like there's a

1:28:20

Chad: kitchen, the dining room, the game room and

1:28:22

Chad: the stages, there's a storage room in the Chad: office and a lot of hallways.

1:28:26

Chad: I still don't understand the layout of the Chad: building. Chad: Jeff makes his way to the back office and

1:28:29

Chad: he sees the security monitors and hear the

1:28:32

Chad: old fat bearded man. Chad: He just comes shrieking through the

1:28:36

Chad: restaurant and he hides in a utility closet

1:28:44

Chad: and he reaches up to turn on the light, Chad: only to find Bonnie, the six foot tall blue

1:28:49

Chad: bunny, in there with him. Chad: And then outside we hear some thumps and

1:28:52

Chad: rumbles until we see a hand smack on the

1:28:55

Chad: glass and smear the window with blood.

1:28:59

Chad: So I guess Jeff is the only one that's left.

1:29:02

Chad: And then Bonnie walks out of the utility

1:29:04

Chad: closet and Jeff sees the blue bunny.

1:29:07

Chad: Jeff runs back to the office where he looks

1:29:09

Chad: at the monitors and sees Chica and Bonnie

1:29:11

Chad: placing Mr Cupcake in the air vents.

1:29:14

Chad: And then they stare up at the camera like Chad: you're next bucko.

1:29:18

Chad: And then Jeff hears Mr Cupcake headed his Chad: way in the vents.

1:29:21

Chad: Jeff holds the air vent great shut by Chad: leaning back up against it, and then we

1:29:25

Chad: hear a door creak open. Chad: Jeff peeks outside, then he steps outside

1:29:29

Chad: and then the office door slam shut and we Chad: hear this sort of signature song.

1:29:33

Chad: It's doom deem, doom, deem doom, deem doom, Chad: deem, doom, deem doom.

1:29:37

Chad: This was the sound that we heard at the Chad: beginning with that security guard who got

1:29:42

Chad: his, and then, I think, jeff is attacked by

1:29:45

Chad: Foxy the Fox and then that's pretty much

1:29:48

Chad: the end of this scene. Bo: Well, Max comes inside to look for him.

1:29:51

Chad: Oh, that's right. Bo: And then she sees and hears a ghost kid and

1:29:55

Bo: goes in search of him and then finds this

1:29:58

Bo: room of the animatronic parts of all the

1:30:00

Bo: various creatures. Bo: There is this giant bear standing there,

1:30:05

Bo: and so she looks inside and doesn't see

1:30:07

Bo: anybody there. Bo: Like gets like a stepladder so she can more

1:30:11

Bo: fully put her head and body into the mouth

1:30:14

Bo: of this thing, and then a hand grabs her

1:30:16

Bo: from within and then she's bitten in half, Bo: which is maybe the only thing in the movie

1:30:20

Bo: where I was like, say, somebody getting

1:30:22

Bo: bitten in half and seeing their lower half Bo: hit the ground.

1:30:25

Chad: That's something, but it's all done in Chad: shadow, yeah, so you don't really see

1:30:30

Chad: anything. Chad: Me you do, but you don't. Chad: There's no blood.

1:30:32

Chad: You see her legs kifunk to the ground,

1:30:35

Chad: right. Chad: That's the majority of the gore and horror

1:30:38

Chad: in this film. Chad: We really leave that alone until the very

1:30:41

Chad: end of the movie. Chad: Well, and at the end there's nothing either.

1:30:44

Chad: No, back at Mike and Abby's house.

1:30:46

Chad: Abby's watching some public domain cartoons

1:30:49

Chad: and Mike comes in and says what are you

1:30:52

Chad: drawing there, abby? Chad: And she ignores him.

1:30:54

Chad: And then Mike says I guess you don't want

1:30:57

Chad: this then and he tosses that toy Freddy

1:31:00

Chad: Fazbear security badge on the table and she

1:31:02

Chad: looks at it and just chunks it off. Chad: Mike puts it in a drawer that has those

1:31:06

Chad: legal papers he got earlier with his aunt. Chad: He's like I'm trying to do the best I can

1:31:10

Chad: to make money to get a babysitter to raise

1:31:12

Chad: you. Chad: Come me some slack. Chad: And he runs off. Chad: Then Abby goes to the drawer and opens it

1:31:16

Chad: up and she finds the legal papers.

1:31:19

Chad: Mike walks back in and Abby says why do you

1:31:21

Chad: have these papers? Chad: I don't want to live with Mary Stuart

1:31:24

Chad: Masterson. Chad: She was in that female young guns knockoff

1:31:27

Chad: called Bad Girls and since then her Chad: career's never recovered and she's like

1:31:30

Chad: take your rights. Chad: Why are you giving me away? Bo: And then Vanessa inexplicably shows up and

1:31:36

Bo: is like hey, can we talk?

1:31:39

Bo: Because apparently there was a break in at

1:31:42

Bo: Freddy's and I found your prescription

1:31:44

Bo: sleeping pills there which, honestly, if

1:31:48

Bo: the place were really robbed, those things Bo: would have been gone First thing they would

1:31:51

Bo: have taken. Chad: Yeah, for sure they would have ignored

1:31:53

Chad: what's on the label and they would have Chad: been like you know what? Chad: Prove it.

1:31:56

Chad: Start taking these boys, let's find out if Chad: they really knock you out.

1:31:58

Chad: During this scene, abby peeks around behind

1:32:00

Chad: Mike and she's like, hi, I'm Abby, the Chad: normal one in this movie.

1:32:04

Chad: And then officer Vanessa says oh Mike, is

1:32:06

Chad: this your daughter? Chad: And I was like hey, join the?

1:32:09

Chad: I Just Ask that Same question, club Officer

1:32:11

Chad: Vanessa. Bo: Where were you 30 minutes ago, officer

1:32:15

Bo: Vanessa? Bo: Why weren't you interrogating these

1:32:17

Bo: characters then? Bo: That's what movies like this need is a cop

1:32:20

Bo: to show up and be like no, no, no. Bo: Before we go any further in this movie, I

1:32:23

Bo: have some questions. Bo: First of all, how are you related to her?

1:32:26

Bo: Second of all, why can't you hold down a Bo: job?

1:32:28

Bo: Third of all, what is your job? Bo: Are you a principal or a social worker?

1:32:32

Bo: Social worker? Bo: You say okay, well, that makes some sense. Bo: All right, everybody, carry on with the

1:32:36

Bo: movie. Bo: Now I need plot cop.

1:32:39

Chad: Mike says she's my sister, abby.

1:32:42

Chad: Go another room and draw pictures of dead

1:32:44

Chad: kids. Chad: We're going to go have adult talk.

1:32:46

Chad: So these two walk off and they pop a squat

1:32:49

Chad: next to a drainage ditch. Chad: Mike says I used to have a brother named

1:32:54

Chad: Garrett when I was 12 years old. Chad: This guy took Garrett when we were out in

1:32:58

Chad: the woods and they never found my brother Chad: or the guy who took him.

1:33:01

Chad: This guy at the mall. Chad: He read me a book with no pictures called

1:33:05

Chad: Dream Theory, about how you can't forget

1:33:07

Chad: anything because everything you see is Chad: stored up in your head like a computer.

1:33:12

Chad: I have dreams to see if I can find who took

1:33:14

Chad: my brother. Chad: Now you're probably going to say that I'm

1:33:17

Chad: crazy. Chad: An officer of Vanessa says I'm not going to

1:33:21

Chad: say you're crazy because of that crazy Chad: thing you just said.

1:33:24

Chad: Your sister seems kind of cool. Chad: What happened to your parents?

1:33:28

Chad: My mom died and my dad something.

1:33:33

Chad: Or maybe my dad died and my mom something.

1:33:36

Chad: I don't know. Chad: What are you going to do? Chad: Seems important, but whatever.

1:33:41

Bo: Then Vanessa is like hey, you can't sleep

1:33:43

Bo: on the job anymore. Bo: Ok, like I'm going to willingly cover up

1:33:47

Bo: your involvement in this crime. Bo: I'm going to leave all of this out of the

1:33:51

Bo: official police report and do you a solid

1:33:55

Bo: let's not worry about investigating this

1:33:57

Bo: crime, and I guess you can make the Bo: argument that she probably knows what

1:34:01

Bo: happened to these people. Bo: But also, this seems like dirty cop.

1:34:06

Bo: She is living down the street from De Niro Bo: in Copland if this is her regular routine.

1:34:10

Chad: What? Chad: Let's assume she is a real cop and this

1:34:13

Chad: isn't just a costume. Chad: She got it party city.

1:34:15

Bo: Well, I'd be plot cop to show up and ask Bo: that question.

1:34:18

Bo: Yeah, go ahead. Chad: Right, and then she's driving around in the

1:34:21

Chad: blues mobile or something like that. Chad: If she is a real cop, because her patrol is

1:34:27

Chad: Freddy Fazbear's in the parking lot, she Chad: went inside and found the dead bodies and

1:34:32

Chad: his pill bottle and came back. Chad: It doesn't square how her character fits

1:34:37

Chad: into the broader narrative that they're

1:34:39

Chad: telling Because she's not on the side of Chad: William Afton.

1:34:42

Chad: None of this is thought out. Bo: Yes.

1:34:45

Bo: So if she is covering things up, then why

1:34:48

Bo: leave the bodies around? Bo: Because at the end of the movie we see all

1:34:50

Bo: the bodies exactly where they were Like. Bo: If she's trying to cover this up, why leave

1:34:55

Bo: bodies to rot in here? Chad: None of this fits together.

1:34:58

Chad: It might cause Max to see if she can sleep

1:35:01

Chad: over for another all night babysitting job,

1:35:04

Chad: but remember, max is dead and in two pieces

1:35:06

Chad: minimum. Chad: So Mike takes Abby to Freddy Fazbear's for

1:35:10

Chad: his work. Chad: So they go inside and the places in ruins

1:35:13

Chad: from the break in earlier. Chad: Honestly, that's what this place should

1:35:16

Chad: have looked like when he arrived the first Chad: time, because vagrants and drunks were in

1:35:19

Chad: there. Chad: That's what vagrants and drunks do I know

1:35:21

Chad: from firsthand experience. Chad: I was that vagrant and drunk Mike then

1:35:26

Chad: instead he builds a fort for Abby to sleep

1:35:29

Chad: in and as she does his off, abby says it's

1:35:31

Chad: like camping Mike, without all the child

1:35:35

Chad: abduction. Chad: Mike goes to the utility closet and he

1:35:39

Chad: finds a small blood smear on the door.

1:35:41

Chad: He's like that's weird. Chad: I don't remember that, but whatever.

1:35:45

Chad: Then we get another lukewarm jump scare

1:35:48

Chad: from that balloon boy figurine. Chad: Mike then begins to clean up the place and

1:35:52

Chad: then, after cleaning up, mike goes to start

1:35:55

Chad: his night three of his five nights at Chad: Freddy's and he puts on his headset and

1:35:59

Chad: listens to his cassette tape of nature

1:36:01

Chad: sounds and of course he falls asleep Right

1:36:03

Chad: After being explicitly told by Vanessa I'm

1:36:07

Chad: going to keep you out of this criminal

1:36:09

Chad: investigation. Bo: The one thing I need you to do is to keep

1:36:12

Bo: on your toes and not sleep at work. Bo: All right.

1:36:15

Chad: Also earlier, when they were by the Chad: drainage ditch, she chunked his

1:36:18

Chad: prescription pills into the swamp water.

1:36:21

Bo: Good, you need to keep this guy on his

1:36:24

Bo: fucking toes. Chad: So he's asleep.

1:36:27

Chad: Abby is in her tent and she hears a voice

1:36:30

Chad: cry out Abby. Chad: So she wakes up and wanders through the

1:36:33

Chad: restaurant and makes her way to the dining

1:36:35

Chad: room with a hello, Is anyone there?

1:36:39

Chad: I know you're back there. Chad: You might as well come out.

1:36:42

Chad: And then we see the eyes of Freddy Fazbear

1:36:44

Chad: light up and this lumbering robot clomp,

1:36:47

Chad: clomp, clomp out onto the stage of the

1:36:50

Chad: pizzeria, Cut to Mike's dream where he sees

1:36:52

Chad: the kid in the brown shirt in the woods. Chad: And Mike says hey, you're those kids, right,

1:36:56

Chad: the ones who disappeared in the 80s.

1:36:59

Chad: I don't know how it's possible You're here

1:37:02

Chad: in my dream, but I need your help. Chad: Help me remember who took my brother

1:37:05

Chad: Garrett. Chad: And this kid stands up and says all right,

1:37:08

Chad: If we show you, what are you going to give Chad: us? Chad: And Mike says I'll give you anything.

1:37:12

Chad: And then we hear Abby screaming. Chad: The boy disappears and on the ground is an

1:37:16

Chad: outline of a giant bunny character.

1:37:19

Chad: Mike wakes up. Chad: Here's the sister screaming. Chad: He runs into the dining room and finds all

1:37:23

Chad: four of the robots are now off the stage

1:37:25

Chad: surrounding Abby. Chad: Mike grabs a chair because rage kicks in.

1:37:30

Chad: And. Chad: Abby emerges from the circle of robots and

1:37:32

Chad: says they were tickling me so much I

1:37:35

Chad: thought I would die. Chad: Freddy Fazbear, this is my brother, mike.

1:37:39

Chad: Mike, meet the others. Chad: Bonnie Foxy and Chica everyone.

1:37:43

Chad: This is Mike and Mike's just freaked out.

1:37:47

Bo: Of course he is. Bo: It is stunned, shocked.

1:37:50

Bo: Then he's like we got to go home and she's

1:37:54

Bo: like OK, and then draws a picture of a

1:37:57

Bo: heart that she gives to Freddy. Bo: Then they give her a hug and they just go

1:38:02

Bo: home. Chad: Freddy Fazbear does give a bit of a

1:38:04

Chad: protective growl toward Mike and that's

1:38:07

Chad: night three in the books. Chad: Mike doesn't ask any questions, he just

1:38:11

Chad: leaves Back at home, puts Abby to bed.

1:38:14

Chad: Also, I love in movies like this where at Chad: the beginning we see kids going to school,

1:38:18

Chad: but then later in the movie the filmmakers Chad: just totally forget that this kid should be

1:38:21

Chad: going to school. Bo: I had that same thing in my notes of like

1:38:25

Bo: is she being homeschooled at a certain

1:38:27

Bo: point? Bo: Is Max taking over for this?

1:38:29

Bo: I don't know. Bo: Mike is looking through all of Abby's

1:38:32

Bo: pictures and puts together, somehow or

1:38:35

Bo: another, making the illogical leap that all

1:38:37

Bo: of these kids that are showing up in his Bo: dreams, and all these kids that she's

1:38:41

Bo: drawing are the robots, are the spirits of

1:38:45

Bo: those kids. Chad: It is a leap.

1:38:49

Bo: It's a crazy thing to say and or think he

1:38:51

Bo: just looked at this picture. Bo: He's like it's them, yeah.

1:38:55

Chad: So a little bit later there's some ominous Chad: music playing and we cut to Abby eating a

1:38:59

Chad: very crunchy grilled cheese. Chad: It's the kind of crunch that implies a

1:39:03

Chad: butchered roof of the mouth. Chad: And Mike's there and he says so, abby,

1:39:07

Chad: let's talk about last night, those machines.

1:39:10

Chad: And Abby interrupts and says my friends. Chad: And Mike says, yeah, your friends are they?

1:39:17

Chad: And Abby interrupts and says ghosts.

1:39:20

Chad: And I was like that's not the word that Chad: immediately comes to mind when finishing

1:39:24

Chad: Mike's Senate starter up your friends, are

1:39:26

Chad: they? Chad: Yes. Chad: But are they dangerous?

1:39:29

Chad: Are they going to kill me tonight? Chad: Are they soft because they look soft?

1:39:34

Chad: Are they capable of playing any song other

1:39:36

Chad: than the Romantics' secrets that you keep?

1:39:39

Bo: I would not think. Bo: Are they ghosts? Bo: It's a great question and, yeah, she

1:39:43

Bo: quickly volunteers this. Chad: She says of course they're ghosts.

1:39:47

Chad: How else could they make the robots move?

1:39:50

Chad: These robots have ghosts in them. Chad: And also, why don't you call them ghost

1:39:53

Chad: bots? Bo: Ghost bots is a better name for the movie

1:39:55

Bo: in general. Chad: And their insides would be the poltergears.

1:39:59

Bo: Oh, I like all of this. Bo: Well, instead of sprockets, they've got

1:40:03

Bo: spookits. Chad: There you go poltergears and spookits.

1:40:06

Bo: As they're having this awful lunch, he's

1:40:09

Bo: like, hey, do you remember when we had that

1:40:12

Bo: brother one time? Bo: And she's like, kind of, because I didn't

1:40:17

Bo: exist? Bo: I don't think, of course she didn't.

1:40:19

Chad: There was no baby at the picnic in his

1:40:22

Chad: dream. Bo: He's like well, we did, and I think some of

1:40:26

Bo: your ghost bots know something about this.

1:40:30

Bo: She's like, yeah, a boy with blonde hair Bo: told me about that.

1:40:33

Bo: Oh yeah, what else do you guys talk about?

1:40:36

Bo: Is it dirty? Bo: No, but we do talk about this yellow rabbit.

1:40:40

Bo: Sometimes they're scared of him. Chad: Here we are to understand that Abby talks

1:40:45

Chad: to ghosts. Bo: That's right. Chad: Like in the sixth sense.

1:40:48

Chad: Yes, and at her house she had an imaginary

1:40:51

Chad: friend. Chad: Was that imaginary friend a ghost, or was

1:40:54

Chad: that just an imaginary friend? Bo: I don't know, maybe that's a thing I don't

1:40:58

Bo: know. Chad: How about this? Chad: Makers of Five Nights at Freddy's, try this

1:41:01

Chad: one on for Scythe, seeing as you're not Chad: really following any of the real canon of

1:41:05

Chad: the overly complex and confusing backstory

1:41:08

Chad: of the games. Chad: Make Abby's imaginary friend the ghost of

1:41:12

Chad: Garrett the dead brother, and you let Abby

1:41:15

Chad: be totally in the dark that they even had a

1:41:17

Chad: brother. Chad: And then, when it's revealed that Garrett

1:41:20

Chad: is her brother and is talking to her, that

1:41:23

Chad: you're able to kind of leverage this to tie Chad: it to the other ghost kids to lead them to

1:41:27

Chad: the abductor and the one who killed him.

1:41:30

Chad: But that wouldn't require the pizza Chad: restaurant robots.

1:41:32

Chad: And that movie is also called the Chad: Changeling. Chad: Now that I'm, talking about it.

1:41:35

Bo: Yeah, but it would be something as opposed

1:41:38

Bo: to the nothing that this movie is. Chad: Have Abby be in the dark, that they ever

1:41:41

Chad: had a brother, that she was born after the Chad: fact and they say that mom and dad never

1:41:45

Chad: talked about him and have her say, like Chad: that's the name of my imaginary friend.

1:41:49

Chad: There's the connection. Chad: Yeah, because Garrett was murdered but he's

1:41:53

Chad: not one of the Five Nights at Freddy's Chad: ghostbots.

1:41:55

Bo: No, he was just apparently killed.

1:41:58

Bo: He was just a test run For so much of the

1:42:00

Bo: movie being spent talking about this

1:42:03

Bo: missing brother. Bo: Once you get the reveal of like, oh, this

1:42:06

Bo: person killed the yellow rabbit, killed him,

1:42:10

Bo: and Matthew Lillard is behind it. Bo: All that's it.

1:42:12

Bo: That's the only information you have. Bo: Yeah, it stops right there.

1:42:16

Bo: Yeah, and you need more information about

1:42:20

Bo: this. Bo: What happened to the body? Bo: And is he one of the toys?

1:42:24

Bo: No, yes, did anyone bother to answer these

1:42:26

Bo: questions? Chad: How about this? Chad: You take the brown shirt kid, who's Freddy,

1:42:30

Chad: and cast him as Garrett and that kid gets

1:42:33

Chad: abducted. Chad: And then every time you see the kids in the Chad: woods, you only see the four kids and you

1:42:37

Chad: never see the Freddy Fazbear representation.

1:42:40

Chad: And then in the dream it is revealed to

1:42:43

Chad: Mike that Garrett is one of the ghostbots.

1:42:46

Bo: I think that sounds great, or even show him

1:42:48

Bo: in the dream so that when it comes to the

1:42:51

Bo: point where they're asking Mike, what would

1:42:53

Bo: you give up? Bo: And Garrett himself can say I can live

1:42:57

Bo: again, but you have to trade me for Abby.

1:43:00

Bo: Essentially, Any of that is something other

1:43:02

Bo: than the big fucking nothing that this Bo: movie gives you in relation, like those

1:43:07

Bo: little things, little changes that don't Bo: cost you any more money, it's just dialogue

1:43:12

Bo: and it gives you some emotional connection

1:43:15

Bo: and some emotional hook. Bo: In this movie You're spending a lot of

1:43:17

Bo: money on these animatronics and those look Bo: pretty good.

1:43:20

Bo: We haven't really talked about those, but Bo: it looks pretty good.

1:43:23

Bo: Yeah, I agree, all of that is fine, but

1:43:26

Bo: that doesn't mean anything. Bo: Like we've said it a million times, nobody

1:43:29

Bo: goes home whistling the special effects. Bo: That's.

1:43:32

Bo: All this movie has to offer is some pretty Bo: good animatronics.

1:43:34

Bo: The characters are so unbelievably stupid

1:43:38

Bo: and you don't understand anything about Bo: them.

1:43:40

Bo: Are there relationships to each other that

1:43:42

Bo: it's just confusing. Bo: This movie is mind-numbingly inconsistent.

1:43:47

Chad: Well, also, once it's revealed that these Chad: robots are possessed by ghost children, it

1:43:52

Chad: begs the question. Chad: So ghost children are murdering adults,

1:43:55

Chad: yeah, and then later they kind of brush Chad: that off like oh no, no, no, no, it was

1:43:59

Chad: William Afton controlling them, so he's the

1:44:01

Chad: real murderer. Chad: So you can just brush all that aside.

1:44:05

Bo: They can be kids again or whatever, even Bo: though as soon as their influence was

1:44:09

Bo: broken, they turned around and immediately Bo: murdered.

1:44:11

Chad: Start Night 4 at Freddy. Bo: Fazbear, and so Vanessa is looking over all

1:44:15

Bo: these drawings that Abby has done, and

1:44:18

Bo: especially the ones with the yellow rabbit. Bo: This is before Mike shows up with Abby

1:44:23

Bo: she's already at Freddy's. Chad: Yeah, but it's a big wall of crayon

1:44:26

Chad: drawings that a bunch of kids had done. Chad: I don't think these are all Abby's drawings.

1:44:30

Chad: It's like one big refrigerator door covered

1:44:32

Chad: in scribbles that only a parent can love. Chad: And there's haunting sounds of children

1:44:36

Chad: laughing and the camera focuses on that.

1:44:38

Chad: One photo we saw earlier with the giant Chad: rabbit holding hands with the kids Right

1:44:42

Chad: and we hear hauntingly we love the yellow

1:44:45

Chad: rabbit Children shouting that out.

1:44:47

Bo: Mike and Abby finally show up and Abby says

1:44:51

Bo: my friends say that Vanessa is nice and

1:44:53

Bo: Vanessa is like oh, you mean the ghost Bo: children?

1:44:55

Chad: Mike is like wait, what you knew about this

1:44:59

Chad: too, and she says well, I guess you just

1:45:02

Chad: figured it out, that's it, there's no Chad: further discussion in this movie.

1:45:06

Bo: And she is totally casual about it, about

1:45:09

Bo: souls possessing these robots.

1:45:11

Chad: And then both they do the next logical

1:45:13

Chad: thing you would expect in this movie we get

1:45:16

Chad: a montage of our three human characters

1:45:19

Chad: working with the robots possessed by dead

1:45:23

Chad: ghost children to build an oversized chair

1:45:26

Chad: and blanket fort in the dining room of this

1:45:29

Chad: abandoned pizza restaurant. Bo: As the song Connection plays.

1:45:33

Chad: Our movie has turned into a fun comedic

1:45:35

Chad: romp of a good time. Chad: The robots that we just saw stalk and

1:45:38

Chad: brutally murder for Nairdow Wells are now

1:45:42

Chad: doing their best impressions of Harry from

1:45:45

Chad: Harry and the Henderson's, or Sloth from Chad: the Goonies.

1:45:48

Bo: It's crazy Chad. Bo: This was another of those scenes of like.

1:45:52

Bo: I have nothing to hold onto here. Bo: I don't understand why any of these

1:45:55

Bo: characters are behaving like this. Bo: Mike just saw a bloody handprint on a door

1:45:59

Bo: just a day ago and now that he knows that

1:46:02

Bo: the souls of dead children are operating Bo: these robots, how on earth are you not

1:46:06

Bo: making that connection? Chad: Mike whispers to Abby, remember to ask

1:46:11

Chad: these guys about who abducted and probably

1:46:14

Chad: killed our brother. Chad: I'm gonna go hang out with Officer Vanessa

1:46:18

Chad: in another scene. Chad: So we cut to the storm of the restaurant

1:46:21

Chad: and Vanessa's looking for tablecloths to Chad: make a roof for this totally awesome fort

1:46:24

Chad: they just built. Chad: And Mike says how do you know where they

1:46:27

Chad: keep the tablecloths in this place? Chad: And again, as I mentioned earlier, I was

1:46:31

Chad: like I just thought she'd work there once

1:46:33

Chad: upon a time. Chad: And Mike in this back room.

1:46:36

Chad: He looks over and he sees this old

1:46:38

Chad: animatronic robot and Officer Vanessa says

1:46:41

Chad: I wouldn't touch that. Chad: The insides have a spring lock to protect

1:46:45

Chad: all of the poltergears so a human could

1:46:49

Chad: wear the suit, but they have a spring lock

1:46:52

Chad: inside Watch. Chad: And she pokes the inside of this busted

1:46:56

Chad: robot abdomen and these springs snap shut

1:46:59

Chad: like a bear trap. Chad: It's a real flaw of design, if you ask me

1:47:02

Chad: about. Bo: Another good question of why on earth

1:47:05

Bo: design it like this if people are supposed

1:47:08

Bo: to be inside it. Bo: It comes up at the end of the movie.

1:47:10

Bo: It's like you built this thing. Bo: Why are you doing this?

1:47:13

Bo: And Mike is like well, I feel closest to my

1:47:16

Bo: brother here. Bo: Maybe I can go back in the dream and change

1:47:20

Bo: what happened. Bo: Hey, who are you really?

1:47:23

Bo: And she says well, I'm just somebody trying Bo: to help, like when I told you not to fall

1:47:27

Bo: asleep and then you immediately went to Bo: sleep.

1:47:29

Bo: You should listen to me more. Bo: Then they just go back to the lobby without

1:47:32

Bo: any further questioning on Mike's part of

1:47:34

Bo: like it seems like you're always avoiding Bo: my questions when I asked them.

1:47:38

Bo: When they go back to the lobby, they do so Bo: in time to see Abby about to touch the

1:47:43

Bo: guitar, one of the ghost spots. Bo: They're like Abby no.

1:47:46

Bo: And as soon as she touches it, like she Bo: gets a jolt of electricity and blacks out.

1:47:51

Bo: Then eventually it comes to you Like it's Bo: kind of a non-event other than, I guess, to

1:47:56

Bo: show that these things are still dangerous,

1:47:59

Bo: which we knew because they murder people.

1:48:01

Chad: We got to the parking lot and Mike is there Chad: with Officer Vanessa.

1:48:04

Chad: She says just go home, mike, and take care Chad: of Abby.

1:48:07

Chad: To which Mike says what are you so afraid

1:48:09

Chad: of? Chad: In the storage room? Chad: You look terrified, officer Vanessa.

1:48:13

Chad: She really escalates things and she says if

1:48:16

Chad: you ever bring Abby back here, I will shoot

1:48:18

Chad: you. Chad: And I was like holy shit, right, where did

1:48:22

Chad: this come from? Bo: Yeah, I know I thought the same thing of

1:48:25

Bo: like wow, this really rosinach in terms of

1:48:28

Bo: their interactions with each other. Chad: Then it's the middle of the night and Mike

1:48:32

Chad: just hops in his car with Abby and leaves

1:48:34

Chad: his shift. Bo: God damn it, chad. Bo: This is so stupid.

1:48:38

Bo: And when he gets in the car, abby is like Bo: why does everyone look at you like they're

1:48:42

Bo: mad at you all the time? Bo: He's like I know, it's so weird, it's like

1:48:45

Bo: I'm a total shithead. Chad: Back at the house, Mike picks up the phone

1:48:48

Chad: and he calls someone and says hey, it's Chad: Mike, I need your help.

1:48:52

Chad: So we cut to the following morning.

1:48:54

Chad: So we've now got four nights. Chad: Okay. Chad: And Abby wakes up and she comes into the

1:48:58

Chad: kitchen to find Mary Stuart Masterson Chad: waiting for her.

1:49:01

Chad: And Abby says what did you do, mike? Chad: What did you do?

1:49:04

Chad: I hate you, mike. Chad: And Abby runs to her room and she grabs a

1:49:07

Chad: crayon and starts scribbling over all the

1:49:09

Chad: faces of Mike in her drawings.

1:49:12

Chad: And Mike tells Mary Stuart Masterson when

1:49:14

Chad: she calms down just tell her, I'm sorry.

1:49:16

Chad: So then Mike goes to the pharmacy to get Chad: some more sleeping pills and his overly

1:49:21

Chad: rude behavior causes the pharmacist to call

1:49:23

Chad: Mike an asshole as Mike leaves.

1:49:25

Chad: Why is Mike such an unlikeable character in Chad: this?

1:49:27

Bo: movie. Bo: But he is Like the pharmacist isn't wrong,

1:49:31

Bo: cause the pharmacist is like you know what Bo: always helps me?

1:49:33

Bo: A glass and more milk. Bo: And Mike just snatches the drugs out of his

1:49:37

Bo: hand. Bo: He's like go fuck yourself. Bo: And that's what the drugist calls him an

1:49:39

Bo: asshole of like. Bo: I'm with you, man. Bo: Our main character is a real jerk.

1:49:44

Chad: So Mike heads to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza

1:49:47

Chad: during the day to go to sleep and dream

1:49:49

Chad: about all of the dead children.

1:49:51

Chad: You know he's surrounded by ghost bots, Chad: right, yeah, right, we don't think twice

1:49:54

Chad: about this. Chad: But Mike does his off. Chad: He wakes up in the forest again and he sees

1:49:58

Chad: Garrett there with his mom and dad, but it

1:50:01

Chad: is full size Mike playing the part of Kid

1:50:03

Chad: Mike. Chad: And then those five ghost kids in the woods.

1:50:06

Chad: They're there and the main blonde kid in

1:50:08

Chad: the brown shirt says you're here to save Chad: Garrett.

1:50:10

Chad: You can have this dream every night and be Chad: together with Garrett and your mom and I

1:50:14

Chad: guess that's your dad in exchange for

1:50:16

Chad: something we want Abby. Chad: And then Mike's dream mom says you know,

1:50:20

Chad: mike, these ghost kids are right. Chad: Just let Abby go.

1:50:23

Chad: You really weren't the right person to take

1:50:25

Chad: care of her. Bo: And then ghost dad is like ghost mom's

1:50:29

Bo: right. Bo: Mike, you're a real piece of shit. Bo: Have you considered letting somebody else

1:50:32

Bo: take care of her? Chad: Ghost mom's like you know, mike, you never

1:50:35

Chad: take the plastic off the cheese slices Chad: before making a grilled cheese sandwich.

1:50:39

Chad: This is important. Chad: There's no way you can raise a child.

1:50:42

Bo: Also, son, I noticed how you burned that

1:50:45

Bo: toast and still gave it to her anyway. Bo: You understand that she's got contusions in

1:50:49

Bo: her mouth because of you. Chad: Mike starts crying and he says, okay, I'll

1:50:53

Chad: do it. Chad: And then he has a flash of Abby waking up

1:50:56

Chad: and being happy to see him and he's like, Chad: no wait.

1:50:58

Chad: I mean, no, this is wrong. Chad: I have my fingers crossed, that doesn't

1:51:00

Chad: count. Chad: But then everybody disappears Too late.

1:51:03

Chad: Mike, you already said yes, good, going Chad: jackass.

1:51:05

Chad: Then we see the metallic feet marching

1:51:08

Chad: through the restaurant and they look like

1:51:10

Chad: the OG Terminator a little bit. Chad: And then we're back in the dream world and

1:51:13

Chad: the ghost kids run past Mike one by one,

1:51:15

Chad: whisking along and slashing him with these

1:51:19

Chad: like razor blade hands, and it's a real

1:51:21

Chad: Freddy Krueger moment. Bo: Absolutely. Chad: They're all whispering Abby, abby.

1:51:25

Chad: They're excited to bring her into the ghost Chad: world. Bo: So the ghost kids are bad, like they're

1:51:29

Bo: luring a child to her death and he wakes up

1:51:32

Bo: when Mike comes to. Bo: He's in this chair that we saw at the

1:51:35

Bo: beginning of the movie and as he looks Bo: around we see Jeff the boyfriend murdered.

1:51:40

Bo: We see earphone kid down there. Bo: We see the half of Max.

1:51:43

Chad: We do see the security guard from the Chad: beginning, because his face is all

1:51:47

Chad: butchered up. Chad: But you can't really see anything.

1:51:50

Bo: And he does manage to get out of this chair

1:51:52

Bo: before he can get the face full of saw

1:51:54

Bo: blades and it runs for the exit but it's

1:51:57

Bo: locked and that is where we see that Foxy

1:51:59

Bo: is coming for him. Chad: Singing his doom, doom, doom, doom, doom,

1:52:02

Chad: doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. Chad: And then there's a rush of the camera, mike

1:52:07

Chad: screams and you're like, oh so Mike's dead

1:52:09

Chad: now too, cause every time this has happened, Chad: the person on the receiving end of that

1:52:13

Chad: does not live to see another day. Bo: You would think so.

1:52:15

Bo: But instead we cut to Abby Back at Mike's

1:52:19

Bo: house, Seeing first Freddie and then a

1:52:22

Bo: ghost kid in her house. Chad: She comes walking out to probably fight

1:52:26

Chad: with Mary Stuart Masterson, and in her home

1:52:29

Chad: is a six foot tall robotic, freddie Fazbear

1:52:33

Chad: and a ghost kid Right. Bo: How did they get there?

1:52:36

Bo: And that's her question. Bo: She's like what are you doing here, mary

1:52:39

Bo: Stuart Masterson? Bo: The only thing we see of her are her legs

1:52:41

Bo: played on the floor. Bo: She is dead unconscious drunk.

1:52:46

Chad: I figured she just polished off a box of

1:52:48

Chad: sangria and she's sleeping it off. Bo: And this kid, the ghost kid that inhabits

1:52:53

Bo: Freddie Fazbear, is like hey, Abby, it's

1:52:55

Bo: time to go play. Bo: And she's like how are we gonna get there?

1:52:58

Bo: And so there's an absolutely hilarious

1:53:01

Bo: scene where they get in a cab and the

1:53:04

Bo: cabbie who doesn't bother to look at who's

1:53:06

Bo: getting in the back of his cab until this Bo: moment, that's how you get killed, Right?

1:53:10

Bo: So where can I take you? Bo: What?

1:53:13

Bo: And it's Abby and this animatronic rotting

1:53:17

Bo: monstrosity, and he says boy, I always get

1:53:21

Bo: the weird ones. Chad: Bum bum.

1:53:24

Chad: And this is another YouTuber, a guy named

1:53:26

Chad: Corey X Kinshin. Chad: Again, if you know who he is, it's like, oh,

1:53:30

Chad: that's that guy. Chad: But moving along.

1:53:33

Chad: So we cut to Mike and he's waking up and

1:53:38

Chad: Officer Vanessa is there bandaging up all

1:53:41

Chad: of his wounds from the dream ghost sequence.

1:53:43

Chad: And Mike asks where are we? Chad: And she says we're at a police supply

1:53:48

Chad: outpost. Chad: I was like what? Bo: What kind of gang wars are happening in

1:53:52

Bo: this city? Bo: What John Carpenter-esque assault on

1:53:56

Bo: precinct 13 kind of world are we in, where

1:53:59

Bo: there are just periodically supply posts

1:54:01

Bo: for the cops and they're never ending war

1:54:03

Bo: against the gangs? Chad: Mike also says they tried to kill me,

1:54:07

Chad: officer Vanessa. Chad: But you knew that Max, Herb, jeff, that old

1:54:13

Chad: fat guy, and that other guy. Chad: You knew about all of this, didn't you?

1:54:17

Chad: But Abby's innocent. Chad: She doesn't deserve whatever's gonna happen

1:54:21

Chad: to her. Chad: Abby's in danger. Chad: And I had a dream and the ghost kids asked

1:54:26

Chad: me to trade Abby to live and have a dream

1:54:29

Chad: forever. Chad: And I said yes, but then I said no. Bo: They said no backsees.

1:54:33

Chad: What do they want with my sister, Abby

1:54:35

Chad: Officer Vanessa. Chad: Officer Vanessa says they just want to make

1:54:38

Chad: her like them. Chad: What? Bo: And then we get a cutaway just to let the

1:54:43

Bo: audience know hey, abby is now showing up

1:54:45

Bo: at Freddy's. Bo: And then we go back to the police supply

1:54:50

Bo: place. Chad: Officer Vanessa explains the backstory of

1:54:54

Chad: this movie like the day new month of an

1:54:56

Chad: episode of Scooby Do, when all those kids

1:55:00

Chad: went missing. Chad: Police searched every inch of Freddy

1:55:02

Chad: Fazbear's. Chad: They never found the children. Chad: The man who took them was a bad man, a

1:55:06

Chad: cruel, clever man. Chad: He knew the police would never check one

1:55:09

Chad: place inside the robots, so he hid the dead

1:55:13

Chad: kids bodies inside the robots.

1:55:15

Chad: I know what you're thinking. Chad: Wouldn't they smell after a while?

1:55:18

Chad: And the answer is yes, it was funky. Bo: There was a high degree of what people

1:55:23

Bo: often refer to as mung. Chad: But here's a more disturbing piece of

1:55:27

Chad: screenplay bullshit. Chad: These kids didn't want to hurt anybody.

1:55:32

Chad: The killer, he's the one who influences

1:55:34

Chad: them somehow or something something.

1:55:36

Chad: Because we can't have a movie where dead

1:55:39

Chad: ghost children are murdering adults dressed Chad: as giant stuffed animals.

1:55:42

Chad: I tried to warn you in my own way, so

1:55:45

Chad: really this is all your fault, mike, but

1:55:47

Chad: he's going to be coming for you. Chad: His name is William Afton and he was my

1:55:53

Chad: father. Chad: What?

1:55:56

Chad: William Afton? Chad: The murderer of these children and

1:56:00

Chad: presumably Mike's younger brother, was

1:56:04

Chad: Officer Vanessa's dad. Bo: And she is fully aware of this Right and

1:56:10

Bo: has decided, as an officer of the law, to

1:56:13

Bo: cover it up. Chad: Yes, and she hands Mike a photo of her as a

1:56:19

Chad: child, with a man in a yellow bunny costume

1:56:22

Chad: and in the picture, officer Vanessa is

1:56:25

Chad: holding the toy plane that Garrett had when

1:56:28

Chad: he was abducted and Mike's like you knew

1:56:30

Chad: about my brother. Bo: The scene that I want to see more than

1:56:33

Bo: anything, Chad, is her having an adult

1:56:36

Bo: conversation with her father and saying

1:56:39

Bo: like all right, I'm not going to turn you Bo: in, but you've got a pinky swear, You're

1:56:43

Bo: not going to murder any more children. Bo: What about on holidays?

1:56:46

Bo: Nope, not even holidays. Bo: Can I just give myself a little treat for

1:56:50

Bo: Christmas? Bo: No, especially not around Christmas.

1:56:53

Bo: That is when children experience the most Bo: joy. Bo: You are not taking any joy away from any

1:56:57

Bo: more children. Bo: You get to play with the dead kids you've

1:56:59

Bo: already created, but no more.

1:57:02

Chad: Officer Vanessa tells Mike I didn't know

1:57:06

Chad: about all of this when we first met. Chad: Sure, you had the same last name as the

1:57:09

Chad: dead kid, but a lot of people have that Chad: same last name that we don't know.

1:57:13

Chad: And she says the key to defeating the Chad: robots it's, let me think, electricity.

1:57:20

Chad: Sure, why not? Chad: Here Take this cattle prod that we use in

1:57:23

Chad: animal control, and here take a taser gun.

1:57:27

Chad: Use that too. Chad: I'm sure that'll work on them. Bo: And here's a glass of water.

1:57:31

Bo: Try all of these. Bo: And here's your sleeping pills back.

1:57:33

Bo: That's just because, if you get in real

1:57:36

Bo: trouble, just take a nap. Chad: Also, I can't come with you because my

1:57:38

Chad: father's there. Chad: I won't be any good to you. Chad: He really messed me up as a kid.

1:57:43

Chad: But you know what? Chad: Don't worry, I'm going to pull a little

1:57:45

Chad: Scatman Crothers from the Shining. Chad: I'll show up anyway to save you.

1:57:48

Chad: Okay, wink, wink, get out of here. Chad: Have fun killing the robots.

1:57:52

Bo: And so at Freddy's, the band starts playing.

1:57:55

Bo: What? Chad: song, are they? Bo: Oh, it's the super scary one.

1:57:58

Chad: Chad the romantic secrets that you keep.

1:58:01

Bo: That's right. Chad: You paid for it, might as well use it. Bo: Yeah, you paid for the song.

1:58:05

Bo: We're going to play the song off. Bo: Mike goes and she also tells him here's the

1:58:10

Bo: best way to get inside, go through this

1:58:12

Bo: outside vent and you'll avoid detection.

1:58:15

Bo: Fine, and so he has to sneak in, which he

1:58:18

Bo: does, and he slips past Freddy and Bonnie

1:58:21

Bo: the bunny, who are playing their song.

1:58:24

Chad: Chica and Mr Cupcake escort Abby off to the

1:58:27

Chad: side because they're going to go murder her.

1:58:30

Bo: Yes, and so with his super power, water

1:58:34

Bo: Mike pours some on the stage and then

1:58:37

Bo: shoots the stun gun at the water which

1:58:40

Bo: fries Freddy and Bonnie bunny.

1:58:42

Bo: And so they're all out of commission now,

1:58:45

Bo: did the? Chad: ghost children go to heaven or hell or

1:58:48

Chad: purgatory, I think they just take a nap. Bo: And so meanwhile Chica has Abby and this

1:58:53

Bo: porcelain doll thing opens up and it's got

1:58:56

Bo: the. Bo: It's the one that's got the. Bo: You know traps that broke the broom earlier.

1:59:01

Bo: Yeah, and it's about to put Abby in there

1:59:04

Bo: and Abby's like why are you trying to hurt Bo: me? Bo: And then Mike interrupts and fires a stun

1:59:08

Bo: gun at Chica that fries Chica for a second.

1:59:11

Chad: Down goes Chica, down goes Chica.

1:59:15

Chad: Mike saves Abby and he says Abby, I've been Chad: stuck in the past.

1:59:17

Chad: I'm going to take care of you from now on. Chad: And Abby says I love you too, mike.

1:59:21

Chad: And Mike says I didn't say I love you.

1:59:24

Bo: I mean, but thanks. Bo: That seems real sudden.

1:59:27

Bo: It seems like it's really accelerating our

1:59:29

Bo: relationship in a way that I'm not totally Bo: comfortable with.

1:59:32

Bo: But all right, I mean I don't not love you.

1:59:35

Bo: Does that work? Chad: They escape. Chad: But then Mr Cupcake comes hobbling around,

1:59:40

Chad: or hopping, and latches onto Mike's leg.

1:59:42

Chad: Abby leaves and then we see the ghost boy

1:59:46

Chad: over in the wings of the stage. Chad: Then Foxy the robot is still wandering

1:59:50

Chad: around somewhere. Bo: It's actually a pretty good.

1:59:53

Bo: You know, as far as this movie being creepy, Bo: it rarely is, but seeing this kid standing

1:59:57

Bo: in front of these open black curtains and

2:00:00

Bo: stepping back into the darkness and then Bo: Foxy's eyes lighting up, it's like oh OK.

2:00:04

Bo: If the rest of this movie had had stuff Bo: like that, it would have at least been kind

2:00:08

Bo: of spooky. Chad: Mike grabs a cattle prod and zaps Mr

2:00:12

Chad: Cupcake. Chad: So Mr Cupcake is gone and then Foxy stalks

2:00:16

Chad: Abby through the game room with a clank,

2:00:19

Chad: clank, clank of his metal feet and his one

2:00:21

Chad: good eye because he's got eye patch, Chad: because he's a pirate.

2:00:24

Chad: Abby then hides in the plastic ball pit in

2:00:28

Chad: the middle of the game room. Chad: She's definitely going to emerge with some

2:00:32

Chad: form of hepatitis. Chad: And then from the shadows a new robot

2:00:36

Chad: appears and it is the giant yellow rabbit

2:00:40

Chad: with a clunk, clunk, clunk and it kind of Chad: growls.

2:00:42

Chad: So Mike shoots the yellow rabbit with his

2:00:45

Chad: taser, but this rabbit is not fazed.

2:00:47

Chad: By then, as promised, officer Vanessa shows

2:00:50

Chad: up after saying she wouldn't do so, and she Chad: shoots Foxy with a taser and she saves Abby.

2:00:55

Bo: And then we get our villain speech, where

2:00:59

Bo: this yellow rabbit that's kind of rotting, Bo: unlike some of the other.

2:01:02

Bo: It's weird because this movie goes between

2:01:04

Bo: these sort of perfect versions of the

2:01:07

Bo: Freddy characters, but also sometimes Bo: they're rotting, and it's kind of confusing

2:01:12

Bo: as to, ok, do they really look kind of

2:01:14

Bo: gross and rotting, or do they look OK, or

2:01:17

Bo: is this just the perception that Abby and Bo: Mike have of them, or anyway?

2:01:22

Bo: So but this yellow rabbit, he comes out and

2:01:24

Bo: he's like hey man, I killed your brother

2:01:27

Bo: and now it's my turn to kill you. Chad: That's symmetry, man, symmetry.

2:01:32

Chad: How does that symmetry? Chad: There's three siblings, yeah.

2:01:35

Bo: Then he says let's wake up all these kids,

2:01:38

Bo: man, and they can play with you, Mike, and

2:01:40

Bo: so all of the robots that were previously

2:01:43

Bo: stunned start to come back to life. Chad: Shouldn't his evil villain speech explain

2:01:47

Chad: why he abducted and? Bo: killed Garrett here. Bo: I mean, I think it's just for fun.

2:01:51

Bo: He's right, is it that he's just back? Bo: Yeah, he's just a villain.

2:01:54

Chad: And it's just coincidence that Mike showed

2:01:57

Chad: up to get this job as a night watchman.

2:02:00

Bo: That's the thing he never really says, or Bo: at least not to the best of my memory.

2:02:04

Bo: He never says like when I saw your last Bo: name, man, I knew I had to give you this

2:02:08

Bo: job. Bo: I had to get you here, man.

2:02:10

Bo: It's been a long time since I killed Bo: anybody and I kind of wanted to.

2:02:14

Bo: He takes off his mask at a certain point,

2:02:17

Bo: revealing surprise, surprise. Bo: It's Matthew Lillard.

2:02:20

Bo: Vanessa pulls a gun on him and he's like

2:02:23

Bo: you're not going to shoot me, man, and so

2:02:25

Bo: she pops him in the shoulder. Bo: He's like hey, like ow, and Mike is telling

2:02:30

Bo: Abby like you've got to make a drawing to Bo: show all the dead kids what really happened

2:02:35

Bo: and show that the yellow rabbit was bad or

2:02:37

Bo: something. Bo: And you're like, um, I guess that's how

2:02:41

Bo: this movie is going to end. Chad: Yeah, it's a real Herald in the purple

2:02:45

Chad: crayon. Chad: Whatever she draws somehow manifests itself

2:02:49

Chad: in the minds of the ghost kids who are

2:02:53

Chad: still in the robots that they've Chad: decommissioned.

2:02:56

Chad: I don't know. Chad: So Matthew Lillard, undeterred by the

2:02:59

Chad: gunshots he just received from his daughter

2:03:02

Chad: he just goes full Homer on Bart and just

2:03:05

Chad: starts strangling her. Bo: Yes, he's like hey, man, I only had two

2:03:10

Bo: jobs for you. Bo: One was to keep this guy in the dark, the

2:03:14

Bo: other was to kill him if he got too close.

2:03:16

Bo: Man. Bo: And she says that's two jobs, and then he

2:03:19

Bo: stabs her for making that stupid callback.

2:03:22

Chad: Abby draws a picture real quick that shows

2:03:24

Chad: the yellow rabbit holding a knife and

2:03:26

Chad: killing all the kids and she sticks it on Chad: the giant refrigerator door.

2:03:30

Chad: Matthew Lillard looks over at the crayon

2:03:33

Chad: drawings and he sees what Abby gribbled out

2:03:36

Chad: in about 30 seconds and he says, like, what

2:03:39

Chad: have you done? Chad: And then Abby says they can see you now,

2:03:44

Chad: they know what you did. Bo: And then the robots all start to turn on

2:03:49

Bo: Matthew Lillard and Mike flips the breaker

2:03:52

Bo: yeah, and then they just descend on him. Bo: All these row of the ghost spots descend on

2:03:56

Bo: the yellow rabbit, and then the suit clamps

2:03:59

Bo: start to dig into his flesh and you're like Bo: again why on earth put these in the costume

2:04:04

Bo: you yourself are going to be wearing? Chad: I think that the spring lock component is

2:04:09

Chad: something out of the canon of the games of

2:04:12

Chad: him being in it. Chad: So that's part of doesn't make it less

2:04:16

Chad: stupid. Chad: Look, I'm not saying that make it less Chad: stupid, it's.

2:04:18

Chad: Maybe it's just why it's there. Chad: And then, before Matthew Lillard, aka

2:04:22

Chad: William Afton, dies, he says like I always

2:04:25

Chad: come back, man, and that's a famous line

2:04:27

Chad: from the game. Chad: And then he takes the time to put the bunny

2:04:30

Chad: head back on because he's a bit of a drama Chad: queen, and then Abby says what's happening?

2:04:37

Chad: Asking the same thing that was running Chad: through my head for an hour and 40 minutes.

2:04:41

Bo: You should be ashamed of yourself for this Bo: runtime.

2:04:43

Chad: Mike says spring locks. Chad: And then Mike and Abby drag Officer Vanessa

2:04:49

Chad: out of the restaurant, while the four Chad: robots drag the yellow rabbit off to the

2:04:53

Chad: back room, probably to sing a rousing

2:04:55

Chad: rendition of the romantic secrets that you

2:04:58

Chad: keep. Chad: And then we cut to Abby in school.

2:05:00

Chad: She's now thriving. Chad: Bo and Mike picks her up and they're having

2:05:05

Chad: a little playful back and forth about what Chad: they're going to have for dinner.

2:05:07

Chad: But they make a quick stop at the hospital Chad: to see how Officer Vanessa is doing and Bo

2:05:12

Chad: she is lying unconscious in the bed due to

2:05:15

Chad: her stab wounds. Chad: So either Abby really snapped back to her

2:05:19

Chad: new normal or Officer Vanessa is taking

2:05:22

Chad: forever to recover from her stabbing.

2:05:24

Bo: I think maybe a little of the two combined.

2:05:27

Bo: But again, we don't know time or place in Bo: this movie, so why on earth bother now?

2:05:31

Chad: Mike just says get better. Bo: And then he's like we've got a real

2:05:35

Bo: complicated feeling here where, on the one

2:05:38

Bo: hand, you let your homicidal father run

2:05:41

Bo: rampant without punishment for years and

2:05:44

Bo: hid the death of my brother. Bo: On the other hand, you did save me and Abby.

2:05:48

Bo: So you know, I guess it all evens out here.

2:05:51

Chad: Make sure you call me when you gain

2:05:54

Chad: consciousness. Chad: We have got to get our story straight.

2:05:57

Bo: Yeah, a lot of questions, because the place

2:06:00

Bo: fell apart kind of, but not really.

2:06:02

Bo: There are probably going to be some Bo: questions that I have to answer and you

2:06:06

Bo: know when people ask me lots of questions I

2:06:08

Bo: get real confused because of all the pills. Chad: Also, I need you to testify as a character

2:06:14

Chad: witness in an unrelated court case where

2:06:16

Chad: I'm getting sued for beating up a dad in Chad: front of his kid.

2:06:19

Bo: Also, there's the untidy matter of a corpse

2:06:23

Bo: found in my living room. Bo: There are a lot of questions about that

2:06:27

Bo: Also, can we? Chad: live in your house because I'm being

2:06:29

Chad: evicted from my house. Chad: I got a big red notice.

2:06:32

Chad: There's no takesies backsies on that.

2:06:35

Chad: Maybe if it was yellow, but definitely not

2:06:37

Chad: red. Bo: Cut to the teacher. Bo: You're doing a great job.

2:06:40

Bo: Mike, You're really turning things around.

2:06:43

Chad: So we cut to Mike and Abby. Chad: They're back at the home.

2:06:46

Chad: Their refrigerator has a new crayon drawing

2:06:49

Chad: on it. Chad: That's very happy and it involves Mike and

2:06:52

Chad: Officer Vanessa and Abby and the four

2:06:54

Chad: murdering ghostbot children creations.

2:06:57

Chad: And Abby asked Mike, can we visit my

2:06:59

Chad: friends? Chad: Sometimes Nobody takes care of them now and

2:07:02

Chad: Mike says you know what? Chad: Abs?

2:07:05

Chad: Nobody knows what will something, something.

2:07:09

Bo: We'll see what the box office does.

2:07:11

Bo: Abby, it is the most cynical ass, andy.

2:07:14

Bo: I hate it. Bo: So I guess we'll see if this makes money.

2:07:18

Chad: So we zoom out and then we fade back into

2:07:21

Chad: the restaurant where we see the main ghost

2:07:23

Chad: boy with the blonde hair staring at the

2:07:25

Chad: yellow bunny costume, which is just shaking

2:07:28

Chad: and writhing and paying. Chad: I'm like again how many days have passed?

2:07:32

Chad: Is this Matthew Lillard slash William Afton

2:07:35

Chad: still alive in that costume? Chad: And then much like Al Pacino and the

2:07:39

Chad: Godfather. Chad: The ghost boy just closes the door as the

2:07:43

Chad: final scene of this movie. Bo: You can ask me one question about my ghost

2:07:47

Bo: cake, but only one, just this once.

2:07:49

Bo: Yeah, it's a real nothing of an ending.

2:07:52

Bo: And then there's a post credit scene where Bo: we cut back to the cab driver, who

2:07:57

Bo: apparently has been sleeping in his cab for

2:07:59

Bo: days and days. Chad: Apparently. Chad: That's what people do when they get jobs

2:08:02

Chad: they just go nap oh man.

2:08:04

Bo: If only I'd known that. Bo: And he wakes up and looks over in the

2:08:08

Bo: passenger seat of the cab and there's the

2:08:10

Bo: balloon statue and he screams. Bo: And then we get an absolutely intolerable

2:08:15

Bo: Five Nights at Freddy's chiptune song.

2:08:17

Chad: It's by the Living Tombstone. Chad: It was some famous internet song about Five

2:08:22

Chad: Nights at Freddy's, but terrible, seriously,

2:08:24

Chad: they're going to make no less than four

2:08:27

Chad: more of these there's no doubt it made a

2:08:29

Chad: shit ton of money because people are into

2:08:32

Chad: this franchise, like again. Bo: It has spawned games and books and internet

2:08:37

Bo: memes and YouTube influencers out the ass

2:08:40

Bo: and it, like it, makes it some money. Bo: Five Nights at Freddy's is like the 12th

2:08:45

Bo: largest economy in the world and it's one Bo: of those secret things that if you do not

2:08:49

Bo: know about it then you don't know anything Bo: about it, but if you are in the know you

2:08:52

Bo: realize like, oh, this thing is shockingly

2:08:55

Bo: big, both among kids. Chad: After its first two weekends it has made

2:09:00

Chad: over $100 million domestically.

2:09:03

Bo: Yeah, and the budget can't be more than Bo: what?

2:09:05

Bo: 20? Bo: I think it was 20. Bo: So that's I mean again, this thing is going

2:09:10

Bo: to be a jug or not. Chad: The question is how fast can they get the

2:09:13

Chad: next one out? Bo: I mean, they filmed this one in earlier

2:09:16

Bo: this year, yeah, and you've already got all Bo: the animatronics made at this point, like

2:09:20

Bo: you've done the heavy lifting on that Bo: investment and you've got all your stuff.

2:09:24

Chad: You don't have to spend much time writing a Chad: screen Right.

2:09:27

Bo: I mean, this was if it was a weekend.

2:09:29

Bo: I'm shocked. Bo: Like I said, this is truly.

2:09:32

Bo: I know we'll talk about rankings here in a Bo: minute. Bo: This is truly one of the shittiest scripts

2:09:36

Bo: that has come across our desks on this show

2:09:39

Bo: in some time. Bo: It's like man for it being such a

2:09:42

Bo: legitimate cultural thing that nobody gave

2:09:45

Bo: a fuck and that's stunning. Chad: It feels like a movie that the script

2:09:50

Chad: started one place, then they added the

2:09:52

Chad: sister and then the aunt piece and then Chad: they got rid of some stuff.

2:09:54

Chad: You know what I mean Like. Chad: It feels like a screenplay that maybe just

2:09:57

Chad: evolved over time and by the time they got

2:09:59

Chad: something that they felt was ready for Chad: cameras, it just was this Frankenstein's

2:10:03

Chad: monster of ideas that none of it really

2:10:06

Chad: cohesively ties together, which goes back Chad: to my original complaint.

2:10:09

Chad: They're just connecting all of these dots Chad: that don't fully come together.

2:10:12

Chad: Yeah, and it could have been a really fun

2:10:15

Chad: silly movie with more camp and over the top

2:10:17

Chad: horror, but it's dealing with this main

2:10:20

Chad: character and how he is processing grief

2:10:24

Chad: and regret. Chad: That's no fun.

2:10:27

Bo: Yeah, it's no fun and it's also not well

2:10:30

Bo: realized. Bo: It's not just that it's not a great time

2:10:34

Bo: for kids, who is your audience, but also

2:10:37

Bo: you're doing it in such a terrible lazy way

2:10:41

Bo: that even if, even if the kids were into it,

2:10:44

Bo: man, then there's nothing there, it's just

2:10:47

Bo: bad writing in bad execution, as God bless

2:10:50

Bo: them. Bo: The listeners have heard us talking about Bo: here the amount of bad characterization and

2:10:56

Bo: just a lack of exposition, and I don't need

2:10:59

Bo: somebody to sit down and just tell me what

2:11:02

Bo: the movie is about. Bo: But it would be nice if they cared enough

2:11:06

Bo: to tell me you know basic facts like

2:11:08

Bo: setting and motivation and things that you

2:11:10

Bo: need to propel a story. Bo: That is just what narrative is, and you

2:11:15

Bo: can't get around that other than again, I

2:11:17

Bo: guess, to appeal to an audience that is Bo: built in, who want to see these characters

2:11:22

Bo: that they've been reading about and playing Bo: games about for a number of years come to

2:11:27

Bo: life on the screen. Bo: But that's all there is to it.

2:11:30

Bo: If you do not have a connection to Five Bo: Nights at Freddy's, there is nothing here

2:11:34

Bo: for you as a viewer. Bo: It's not a real movie.

2:11:37

Chad: All right, it is, it is about that time.

2:11:40

Chad: How, though, would you rank these movies?

2:11:44

Bo: I have to go worse to best. Chad: All right, we can go worse to best.

2:11:47

Bo: All right, because I think the worst still Bo: remains hardbeeps.

2:11:50

Bo: For me, hardbeeps was a slog.

2:11:53

Bo: That is a movie that was so hard to get

2:11:55

Bo: through. Bo: It is so blisteringly unfunny.

2:11:57

Bo: It is just a movie where a bunch of robots Bo: go wander around in the woods and then go

2:12:01

Bo: back to where they started, and it's Bo: shocking that.

2:12:04

Bo: That was a movie that ever saw the light of Bo: day and there's nothing there right in

2:12:09

Bo: front of it on. Bo: And number five on my list is this movie.

2:12:13

Bo: Five Nights at Freddy's only gets a nudge

2:12:15

Bo: on account of the animatronics being pretty

2:12:18

Bo: good. Bo: All the puppet work from Jim Henson Studios

2:12:21

Bo: is is pretty cool and the character design

2:12:24

Bo: which comes from the games, but the Bo: realization of that character design is

2:12:27

Bo: kind of interesting. Bo: Other than that, there is nothing here.

2:12:30

Bo: This is a real slog of a movie as well.

2:12:33

Bo: Like these bottom two, five Nights at Bo: Freddy's and Hardbeeps are movies that I

2:12:37

Bo: genuinely regret ever having watched, given

2:12:40

Bo: how little life I have left. Bo: Okay, then my number four is the Black Hole

2:12:46

Bo: which has some interesting effects work and Bo: it has Ernest Borkine and that's it.

2:12:50

Bo: That's all that movie has going for it, but Bo: I do find it kind of creepy.

2:12:52

Bo: And then my top three are all movies I kind

2:12:55

Bo: of like there's. Bo: Number three is Class of 1999, because it's

2:12:59

Bo: short and ridiculous and we just had a good

2:13:02

Bo: time with that one. Bo: I like Class of 1999.

2:13:05

Bo: I could watch Class of 1999 again. Bo: Choppy Mole is the same way.

2:13:07

Bo: Number two for me, choppy Mole, I think, is

2:13:10

Bo: silly and dumb but it's quick and the pace

2:13:13

Bo: is good and I can watch that anytime.

2:13:16

Bo: And my number one is Megan, which, despite

2:13:19

Bo: being a rip off of a bunch of other movies,

2:13:22

Bo: is at least something. Bo: And we watched the unrated version which

2:13:25

Bo: has a little more blood and a little more

2:13:28

Bo: bite to it than the PG 13 version.

2:13:31

Bo: And I think Megan is fun, I think it has

2:13:33

Bo: something to say and is pretty good at

2:13:36

Bo: saying it, and I think that it's mostly a

2:13:38

Bo: good time. Chad: Since you went from bottom to top, I'm

2:13:41

Chad: going to go top to bottom, okay. Chad: My number one was the same as yours, megan.

2:13:46

Chad: I agree that was a movie that I enjoyed

2:13:49

Chad: more than I thought that I would. Chad: We also have the same number two Chopping

2:13:52

Chad: Mole. Chad: Chopping Mole is a fantastic throwback to

2:13:57

Chad: terrible 80s slasher.

2:13:59

Chad: We have the same number three Class of 1999.

2:14:03

Chad: Again, a movie that is so ridiculously over

2:14:05

Chad: the top. Chad: It's short, it's stupid and it's a really

2:14:09

Chad: good time. Chad: The bottom three is where we differ. Chad: I'm putting Five Nights at Freddy's as my

2:14:15

Chad: number four, just because the production

2:14:17

Chad: quality was better and it kind of kept me

2:14:20

Chad: guessing, but for all the wrong reasons.

2:14:23

Chad: But I still found the movie to be terribly Chad: frustrating.

2:14:26

Chad: My five and my six. Chad: I hate to say that I'm tied with Black Hole

2:14:29

Chad: and Heart Beeps, but if I got to pick one Chad: over the other I would probably go with the

2:14:33

Chad: Black Hole over Heart Beeps, even though

2:14:35

Chad: during that review I said that the Black Chad: Hole was worse than Heart Beeps.

2:14:38

Chad: The Black Hole is just completely bonkers

2:14:42

Chad: and misguided. Chad: There's a lot of really talented people in

2:14:45

Chad: it and it's just. Chad: It's just such a weird, unsettling movie.

2:14:49

Chad: And, to your point, heart Beeps is just. Chad: It was terrible.

2:14:53

Chad: It was one of the worst things we've ever

2:14:55

Chad: reviewed and the only reason I might put it

2:14:57

Chad: above the Black Hole is because it was Chad: shorter. Bo: Yeah, it somehow felt longer, though for me

2:15:03

Bo: at least, heart Beeps felt. Bo: I felt every second of that movie waning on

2:15:07

Bo: me like we were on some planet with

2:15:10

Bo: increased gravity, as opposed to the Black

2:15:12

Bo: Hole, which is longer, yes, but it felt

2:15:15

Bo: like stuff was actually going on for the

2:15:17

Bo: most part, and you've got a pretty good Bo: death with Anthony Perkins, and you know

2:15:21

Bo: it's not a great movie, but it's Bo: interesting, and Heart Beeps is not.

2:15:24

Bo: But yeah, so, chad, with one season behind

2:15:27

Bo: us, the only question is what's next. Pick Six Bot: Initiate termination of episode six of six

2:15:37

Pick Six Bot: and audio simulations. Pick Six Bot: Confirm termination of audio generation of

2:15:41

Pick Six Bot: human number one and human number two. Pick Six Bot: Confirm termination of simulation season 26.

2:15:47

Pick Six Bot: Domo erigato, translated to English.

2:15:50

Pick Six Bot: Thank you Very much. Pick Six Bot: Confirm termination of pick six bot.

2:15:56

Pick Six Bot: Confirm termination Project pick six movies.

2:16:00

Pick Six Bot: Confirm termination of project codename Pick Six Bot: turd Ferguson.