Parents understand the importance of paying attention to and listening to their children. This is a vital part of any healthy relationship. Listening is hard! In this episode Sarah Pollak and Quinn Faison discuss and dial into how to take listening to the next level. Listening to understand is next-level listening.  One step forward is repeating back exactly what their child said to them. This parroting is a giant step forward from reacting in panic, anger, fear or frustration! Conversations get deeper when listening at this level. You hear more, which allows you to see and hear opportunities for new inquiries, not simply validating, but helping your child learn to identify the intricacies of their feelings. There may be a method to the madness of a teen or young adult’s thinking.  Join Quinn and Sarah as they share methods for listening well which can help parents understand their adolescent children’s experiences and join their children on their journey.

This Week’s Practice: Reflective Listening

Listening to understand allows a conversation to move forward. Try this.  Don’t parrot what someone says as a means of expressing your understanding, try listening for nuance or feelings and share what you believe you heard. “That sounds like it was hard” “You felt ignored” Then pause for confirmation or clarification. Then try it again, using new language and asking for more information, general “Yeah, tell me more?” or, if still not clear “How does that sit with you?” When the conversation has come to an end, let it end and say thank you.

Books Mentioned in this Episode:

Listening Well: The Art of Empathetic Listening by William R. Miller

Emotional Lives of Teens by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.

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