0:00

Welcome to a Slob Chem's Clean the podcast.

0:02

I am Dani K. White. I

0:04

share my personal de-slobification process. As I

0:06

figure out ways to keep my own

0:08

home under control, I share

0:10

the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies

0:12

that actually work in real life for

0:14

real people, people who don't

0:16

love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for

0:19

joining me today. This is podcast

0:21

number 412, and

0:23

I'm calling it the messy middle is real,

0:26

but it doesn't actually have to be messy. So

0:29

the messy middle is one of

0:31

those terms that you

0:33

hear thrown about. I'm sure it was coined or

0:36

used by a lot of different people. I did

0:38

look it up and a guy

0:40

named Scott Belsky wrote a book called the

0:42

messy middle. I believe from

0:44

reading the description of it that it

0:46

is more about just the

0:49

messiness along the way of getting from

0:51

point A to point B of just

0:53

different things in life, success, whatever. So

0:57

just to be clear, I

0:59

preach and teach against the messy middle, right?

1:02

My claim to fame, which isn't real fame, but you

1:04

know what I mean, is that

1:08

I created the no mess decluttering process. Long

1:11

before I ever called it the no mess

1:13

decluttering process, I came

1:15

up with a way to make

1:18

progress and only progress as

1:21

I declutter, to never get

1:24

myself in a situation where I'm

1:26

worse off than I

1:28

was before I got started decluttering. And it was

1:30

because I had the issue of every

1:32

time I tried to declutter, I ended up making a bigger

1:34

mess. And that's a lot of people's issues. Well, how I

1:36

solved it for myself turns out it works for a lot

1:38

of other people too. So that's my five step process that

1:41

helps me make progress and only progress. I

1:43

don't pull everything out. I don't make piles.

1:45

I don't leave things for later, blah, blah,

1:47

blah. Y'all know about that. If you've ever

1:49

been around here, right? But

1:52

I'm talking specifically about

1:54

the messy middle and

1:57

what that means. How

1:59

is that? real even though we're using

2:02

the no mess process. Okay, it doesn't actually

2:04

have to be messy as far as physically

2:06

messy, but it is a real thing

2:10

to get to a point in

2:12

the middle of what you're seeing

2:14

as a project and

2:18

think of it as

2:21

the hard part that you have to

2:23

trudge through and you feel like you're

2:25

just trudging through the

2:29

mud. Okay, well the first

2:31

thing I want to say is this

2:33

is a lot of times, I

2:35

mean this has a lot to do with one of the things that

2:37

I teach which is your house is not

2:39

a project. I teach

2:41

that your house is not a project because I

2:43

had to learn that my house is not a

2:45

project. One of the biggest

2:48

realizations that I had for myself as

2:50

I worked on my home was that

2:53

I had been treating my house like

2:55

a project because I tend

2:57

to be really good at projects.

2:59

I like to plan them, execute

3:03

them, finish them, and

3:06

step away from them. I

3:08

like things that have that

3:10

big planning, that big shebang

3:13

project thing. And

3:16

yet I would look at

3:18

my house, think my house is a disaster, I'm going

3:20

to tackle it the way that I know how to

3:22

tackle things which is tackling it like a project. And

3:25

so I would do that

3:28

in my house, I would clean like

3:31

crazy and wear

3:33

myself out, clean it from top to bottom,

3:36

set aside a weekend or a

3:38

week or whatever with nothing else to do and then

3:41

be so

3:43

proud of myself that I would step back

3:45

and go, okay, I'm done with that now.

3:48

And the next time I thought about my house,

3:51

it was back to being a disaster because my

3:54

house is not a project. It is

3:56

an ongoing series of tasks and things

3:58

that have to be done consistently. So

4:02

the messy middle is the middle of

4:04

the project where you're just trying to

4:06

trudge through and get through to the

4:08

end. But the problem with your house

4:10

is there is no end, right? This

4:16

message comes from B O

4:18

sponsor ebay. You. Know

4:20

real when you get it. It

4:23

will say E Bay authenticity

4:25

guarantee. And. You'll feel it. Maybe.

4:27

It's a had turning Hamburg A watch

4:29

that says it all. With

4:48

eBay Authenticity Guarantee, you

4:50

can trust that feeling of real is

4:53

always in reach. Ensure your

4:55

next purchase is the real deal.

4:57

Visit ebay.com for terms. Okay

5:03

so the reason that I'm thinking about

5:05

this is a post

5:08

on Instagram that my

5:11

friends at the Handmade Home had

5:14

posted. So the Handmade Home, they have a

5:16

great Instagram account, they have a blog and

5:18

all that. They are interior

5:20

designers like they actually do people's

5:24

homes for them, right? And they do

5:26

this beautiful stuff. But she had

5:28

posted something and I thought this was really interesting.

5:30

She said a doctor once asked me during

5:33

an appointment when she figured out what I do

5:35

for a living if I watched a lot of

5:37

design shows on HGTV. When I

5:39

said no, she laughed and said of

5:41

course you don't. I don't even know why I

5:43

asked you that. That's like someone asking me if I

5:45

watch Grey's Anatomy and we both had

5:48

a nice borderline hysterical laugh.

5:50

This little story pretty much sums it

5:52

up for us. We've lived

5:54

in a world of move that bus for some

5:56

time now. Entranced by

5:59

sparkle transition. and scripted reality

6:01

TV. America has

6:03

been brainwashed when it comes to all

6:05

things home. We're here to tell you that if

6:07

you're a fan, that's so great, but

6:10

that's not really how it goes. It

6:12

can be a red flag for us when we

6:14

show up for an initial design meeting and someone

6:16

is donning a Magnolia hat. Renovations

6:19

are never easy. They're

6:21

actually a mix of

6:23

design, budgets, organization, communication,

6:25

unpredictable situations, and lots

6:27

of psychology. We want

6:30

to help you move through it smoothly, and that's

6:32

our role from beginning to end. We

6:34

launched a series called Things Your Designer Wants

6:36

You To Know on our site a year

6:38

ago. Today, we thought it would be good

6:41

to highlight it again for anyone ready to

6:43

dive into a renovation of their own. We're

6:45

covering everything from that initial meeting to the

6:47

finishing touches. We thought it might help bring

6:49

a little awareness to the process and possibly

6:51

help anyone avoid a few of the pitfalls

6:53

that come with working with various professionals.

6:56

Okay, so she's

6:59

talking about design, and they make gorgeous

7:02

designs, but that's

7:04

what she's talking about, and it's basically

7:07

how I feel about a lot

7:10

of your organizing

7:12

shows, decluttering shows, okay? Now here, I

7:15

just want to be clear. I'm not

7:17

saying there's anything wrong with those. I'm

7:20

just saying that

7:23

while they are inspiring and while they

7:25

can be very helpful in learning things

7:27

and learning tips and all of that,

7:31

we have to guard against

7:34

and realize that the

7:36

30-minute show that we're

7:38

watching or, you know, an

7:40

hour show or whatever is not

7:45

reality. It's

7:47

showing pieces of reality along the

7:49

way, but it's not

7:51

reality. I'm not even going to get into

7:55

whether it's real or not. Let's say it

7:57

is Completely real, And we really

7:59

do. You from total disaster to

8:02

wow everything is actually gone and

8:04

to cluttered and beautiful and done.

8:07

Even if the whole and even

8:09

if it is actual before pictures

8:11

and actual after pictures and everything

8:13

is true. Still, just

8:16

the fact that it has been boiled

8:18

down. To Thirty Minutes of

8:20

Clips. Which is probably what. Twenty

8:22

One Twenty two minutes with commercials

8:24

of Clips. As a little flash

8:26

of this, a little flash of

8:28

that. I mean, To.

8:30

A very small amateur degrees something

8:32

on my youtube videos when I

8:34

so Decluttering project. I

8:37

can't So you everything. Because.

8:40

It would be so boring, right? and I

8:42

so you a lot. My son has to

8:45

be both If. So.

8:48

It. Has to be cut

8:50

dion. And so remembering

8:53

that when I'm seeing that when

8:55

I'm seeing their whoosh Whoosh between.

8:57

This is what it looks like

8:59

before and this is what it

9:02

looks like now something in my

9:04

brain. I have to fight against

9:06

their. Tendency. To

9:08

think that it's that easy. As

9:10

easy as it looks, as fast

9:13

as it looks to be, and

9:15

I have to acknowledge that there

9:17

is a whole lot of middle

9:19

in there that I am not

9:22

saying. Even if

9:24

I'm seeing the process, there's a whole

9:26

lot. So I do. Oh, I.

9:28

Think this year without five

9:30

one. Hour better sessions on you

9:33

tube. And. People.

9:36

Love. These not not gonna say

9:38

they love. I'm like they get

9:40

millions of views but like my

9:42

real core people love these one

9:44

hour. Better sessions. And.

9:47

The reason that we do when our

9:50

better. Is so

9:52

that you're seeing what actually happens

9:54

and an hour now it's petty

9:56

own. We try to get them

9:58

down to. You know twenty

10:00

twenty five minutes. So about half of the

10:02

time as out of there but I'm trying

10:04

to so a very realistic. You actually do

10:07

see what it looks like at the beginning

10:09

of our and you actually do see what

10:11

it looks like at the end of the

10:13

our and you see what's happening and between

10:15

with you know bits and pieces cut out

10:17

here and there. But my

10:19

goal is free to see. This is

10:21

actually. What? Happens in an

10:23

hour as opposed to. You're

10:26

watching an hour. That

10:29

is. Thirty. Hours.

10:32

Of work and maybe we've never

10:34

actually put out there How many.

10:36

Hours were spent. To. Make

10:38

this thing that looks like it took an

10:41

hour and A because we all know. I

10:43

mean, you were smart enough. We know that

10:45

this is taking longer than what we're seeing

10:47

and yet. It. Does

10:49

something in our brain when we just

10:51

don't have to see and we don't

10:53

have to? Go through all

10:55

the time that it's actually. Taking

10:58

my. Kids the thing. The

11:02

real messy metal is the distance between

11:04

starting a project and finishing a project.

11:06

But your house is not a project.

11:08

so what is it In the middle

11:10

of all this he is. The

11:13

distance between. Where

11:15

I am. And. Where I.

11:18

Want to be the reason that

11:20

I'm working? That means

11:22

there's a whole lot of messy middle and

11:24

the vast majority of the worst that you're

11:27

doing. Can in up feeling

11:29

like the messy middle. And.

11:31

Conceal defeating. If.

11:33

We don't look at it in the correct way

11:35

and came. It. Is hard enough?

11:39

It. Is hard enough. So let's. Look.

11:41

At this and say where am I letting

11:43

this feel like the messy mint middle where

11:45

it's actually not? Or how can I change

11:47

the way that I look at this so

11:49

that it doesn't. Feel like

11:52

the messy middle and make me want

11:54

to give that paints. So we start

11:56

a project. Any. Time that you

11:58

start nine And no, I'm saying price. That can your

12:00

happen on a project but. A decluttering

12:02

project. As a real thing we start

12:04

decluttering project. We say I'm going to

12:06

declutter my kids and I'm going to

12:09

declutter my entry way for visibility role

12:11

which I am really lot rights I'm

12:13

going to. Declutter that self.

12:15

That drawer, that. Closet?

12:18

Whatever. A

12:20

lotta times not always been a la

12:22

times. We start with. Excitement Like

12:24

have signed the going to get the

12:27

span of It's time. It's time. I've

12:29

got to do this. And

12:31

we make progress. But

12:34

at the beginning. When

12:36

I actually anywhere near being done right.

12:39

And maybe we have to step away.

12:41

And as long as you are following

12:44

the know mess decluttering process, you can

12:46

step away. and it's only better. But

12:49

it's it's still not done, which is usually

12:51

not going to be. Then.

12:55

You have to get going again. So.

12:57

It is that distance between. We started

13:00

this project, we made some progress with

13:02

follow the know mess decluttering process and

13:04

so this space is better than it

13:06

was when I started and yet I

13:08

had to stop. And.

13:11

Now I am in the messy middle

13:13

where I'm like as. I

13:16

spent an hour on that. Made a

13:18

lot of progress, But. There's

13:20

still a lot to do. So

13:23

often the messy middle is being willing

13:25

to get started again. Being

13:27

willing to go back to

13:30

that space. And

13:32

this time I don't have the same

13:34

amount of excitement. This time I'm not.

13:37

Wearing. To go this, I'm I'm a whole lot

13:39

more realistic as I know what I got done in

13:41

an hour and I know that I thought I was

13:43

gonna have three hours last time and I only have

13:45

an hour or whatever. but I am going to keep

13:48

going Now I'm faced with the reality that this isn't

13:50

gonna be instance. So getting started

13:52

again isn't as exciting as it was

13:54

the first time. But

13:56

getting started again is

13:58

required like. That is necessary

14:01

for me to actually make the

14:03

space. Turn into what I wanted to

14:05

be right? Hey

14:11

everyone, I'm Craig Robinson co host of

14:13

The Ways To When podcast alongside my

14:15

good friend John Calipari. I've been on

14:18

the go recently: Phoenix, Kansas City, Chicago.

14:20

If you're like me and have a

14:22

home but aren't always Apple's you have

14:25

and Air B M, be posting your

14:27

home or a spare rooms is a

14:29

very practical side hustle. If you live

14:31

in a big game towns you can

14:34

air Bnb your place for fans to

14:36

stay in. Your whole might be worth

14:38

more than you think. Find

14:41

out how much at Air

14:43

B and B.com/posts. Spring.

14:49

Is arriving and with the change

14:51

of season it may be time

14:53

to upgrade your wardrobe because our

14:56

closets or a define space a

14:58

container. It's nice to give priority

15:00

space to high quality items that

15:02

you've led. Quince makes high quality

15:04

possible. They carry high end products

15:06

at great prices. Things like. Organic

15:08

cotton sweaters, possible silk tops,

15:10

and timeless fourteen karat gold

15:13

jewelry all. Quince items are priced

15:15

sixty to eighty percent less than similar

15:17

brands. My son does so much use

15:19

out of the down pepper best I

15:21

order for him this winter. So now

15:23

the looking at Quince for sundresses for

15:26

myself for summer. Quince partners directly with

15:28

top factories which pets out the cost

15:30

of the middle man. That means more

15:32

saving for s. indulge

15:34

in affordable luxury go to

15:37

quince.com/clean for free shipping on

15:39

your order and three hundred

15:42

and sixty five day returns

15:44

that's q u i n

15:47

c e.com/clean to get free

15:49

shipping and three hundred and

15:52

sixty five day returns quince.com/clean

15:54

this message is sponsored by

15:56

greenlight it's important to be

15:59

tough with our kids about money

16:01

and budgets. Saving and spending before they're

16:03

off adulting on their own. It isn't

16:06

always an easy topic to approach but

16:08

Greenlight can help. Greenlight is a debit

16:10

card and a money app perfect for

16:12

families teaching their children to be responsible

16:14

with money. You can send instant money

16:17

transfers to your kids, get real-time notifications

16:19

of their spending, and you can even

16:21

manage chores and automate allowance. The Greenlight

16:24

app comes with an in-app financial literacy

16:26

game called Level Up that your kids

16:28

can use to build money confidence through

16:30

videos, bite-sized challenges, and mini games. When

16:33

they were little I would give my

16:35

kids a 50 cent budget for a

16:37

day of garage-sailing. And as teenagers we

16:40

checked their balances together regularly so they

16:42

didn't overspend. It's always been important to

16:44

me to help my kids understand money.

16:46

More than 6 million parents and kids

16:49

use Greenlight to learn how to make

16:51

responsible financial choices. So

16:53

stop putting off the money

16:55

talk and start putting your

16:57

kids on the right path.

17:00

Sign up for Greenlight today

17:02

and get your first month

17:04

free at greenlight.com/clean. That's greenlight.com

17:06

slash clean to

17:08

try greenlight for

17:10

greenlight.com/clean. Maybe

17:13

I got through the first three

17:17

steps which are all non-emotional

17:19

trash, easy stuff, and debt

17:21

donations. They're all non-emotions. They're

17:23

all decision-free. And now

17:25

I'm into step four where

17:28

I'm having to go through and ask the decluttering

17:30

questions. And the decluttering questions make the process a

17:32

lot easier than other ways that I used to

17:35

declutter. Decluttering questions being if I needed this item,

17:37

where would I look for it first, take it

17:39

there now, and then if I don't have

17:41

an answer to that, if I needed this item, would it ever occur

17:43

to me that I already had one, I need to put it in

17:45

the donate box, right? So but those

17:48

decluttering questions in step four where I'm

17:50

going one item at a time going

17:54

through figuring out where it's supposed

17:56

to go according to where I would look for

17:58

it first can feel like I'm trudging

18:00

through mud. It can feel like,

18:03

okay, this is going so slow.

18:05

One item at a time.

18:08

Wouldn't it be better for

18:10

me to just pile everything up for me to

18:12

just make sort things into piles? We don't do

18:15

that. I don't do that. Because

18:17

I know

18:19

that that's the

18:22

real messy middle. That's the

18:24

actual physical stuck

18:27

messy middle that I used to get myself into all

18:29

the time because I would pull everything out of a

18:31

space. The energy would be

18:33

gone. And I was left

18:35

with all these piles of things

18:38

now out, straight across

18:40

the hallway or whatever. So

18:42

that is where I used to be.

18:45

And now I

18:48

know that was

18:50

the real messy middle. This still feels like

18:52

the messy middle because

18:54

it's like, oh, I gotta get started

18:56

again. But it's not the

18:59

messy middle compared to what the messy

19:01

middle used to be. Okay, so it's

19:03

remembering I am not in

19:05

the situation that I used to always be in.

19:07

I am not experiencing

19:09

the thing that used to make

19:11

me want to not declutter. That's

19:14

not happening anymore. That's not

19:16

happening anymore. I am doing

19:18

the no mess process. So even though I feel like I'm

19:20

in the messy middle, I can shake my head and go,

19:22

oh, there's no mess.

19:25

I'm in the middle of doing this. But

19:29

there's no mess. This

19:31

is different than

19:33

it used to be. I am

19:35

not in what used to feel

19:37

inevitable as part of the process

19:39

of, oh, my goodness, everything is spread out.

19:41

I'm not doing that anymore. It is different.

19:44

Okay, every time I will

19:47

take the moment to acknowledge that,

19:50

realize it, appreciate

19:52

it, it helps

19:54

me be willing to get

19:57

started that second time to keep

19:59

going. the next time I'm doing

20:01

something. Okay? So

20:05

the getting started again, the keeping

20:07

on going is required. And

20:10

that is easier because I can look and say,

20:13

it could be so much worse. The

20:15

only thing I'm having to do here is

20:18

get myself to get going again. And

20:21

keep making progress. As opposed

20:23

to now I have to get

20:25

myself to get going and deal

20:27

with all these things that I have pulled out

20:29

of this space, okay? It

20:32

can feel like the messy middle when

20:34

you feel like you're never getting to the

20:36

more hidden spaces. I know I hear this

20:38

from some people a lot. You

20:40

know, they'll say, they're following the visibility rule

20:43

and they see the value in

20:46

the visibility rule. Their living spaces

20:48

are now decluttered and under control.

20:51

And they'll say, but I'm never getting to the more

20:53

hidden spaces. When am I gonna get to the rest

20:55

of my house? I

20:57

think a lot of times for

21:00

me in those situations, I know what

21:03

you're saying and I experienced the

21:05

same thing. But I

21:07

remind myself of

21:09

the impact that

21:13

the work that I have done so far has

21:16

had on my actual ability to live

21:18

my life in my house. I

21:21

remind myself that

21:24

I'm able to do this and

21:26

I should have people over. I'm able

21:28

to do the things that I used to

21:30

not be able to do because

21:33

none of

21:35

the spaces in my house were under

21:37

control, right? And then I

21:40

remind myself that, oh, I can take a

21:42

chunk of time and

21:45

tackle one of these spaces that

21:48

are, you know, okay? So

21:50

basically my house is under control. I've

21:53

got a Saturday. I didn't realize

21:55

I wasn't gonna have anything going on this Saturday. So

21:57

I am going to go in and I'm gonna.

22:00

The tackle one of these hidden spaces

22:02

that I'm gonna do it with the

22:04

know mess declaring process so that. I

22:06

don't end up with a. Messy.

22:09

Middle. right? I don't end

22:11

up with a physical mess created

22:13

by this and that knowing that

22:15

oh okay my house is under

22:18

control, I can still have people

22:20

over, I can live my life

22:22

and and now I'm making even

22:24

more progress by going into you

22:26

know this this place that I'm

22:28

gonna now tackle to declutter and

22:30

were hidden space knowing that. the

22:33

starts to to make me realize

22:35

oh. Oh, it's worth

22:38

it. It's worth it to have followed

22:40

the visibility rural. It is a reminder

22:42

that in their midst of the decluttering

22:44

process. Even. Though I'm not

22:47

done. Even though I'm not done

22:49

decluttering my house, I guess I should

22:51

just say this and be done with podcast. But like

22:53

there is no done right like as long as you're

22:55

living. Especially. For those

22:58

of us history with clutter but as long as

23:00

are living you will always be decluttering people. His

23:02

houses are to stay consistently clutter free. Are

23:05

consistently decluttering right of it. So.

23:09

I. Am able to look at

23:11

things. And

23:14

appreciate. That.

23:17

The messy middle really isn't a

23:19

saying because. As. I'm

23:21

still working on my house. Because.

23:24

The visibility role was when I followed from

23:27

the beginning. I'm able

23:29

to. Just continue functioning better and

23:31

better and better in my house. You know

23:33

where before my whole house is a disaster

23:35

and I was like oh my goodness, I've

23:37

got to declutter. I'm going to go declutter.

23:39

In the garage. First, in that back

23:41

corner where a car couldn't even park

23:43

anyway, even if it was simply declutter,

23:46

Okay, I did all that and I worked. And

23:48

I worked In. I worked. And I also

23:50

wasn't following. The know must process cause I hadn't come up

23:52

with it yet right? And so

23:54

I would work. and work. and work. and

23:57

then had nothing to show for it. Will

23:59

that. Like a big messy middle

24:01

for me because it was so defeating.

24:03

and I think a lot of the

24:05

times the messy middle is the part

24:07

where you feel defeated in the middle

24:10

of the project and so the key

24:12

is to keep reminding yourself how far

24:14

you've come. This as big a big

24:16

part of the reason why Before pictures.

24:19

And. Better pictures are

24:21

so powerful. Have.

24:23

A minute of folder on your phone.

24:26

Try. To make sure they're nowhere near the ones that your

24:28

mother not going to be thrown through looking at the

24:30

kids right? But haven't been a folder

24:32

where you can go. Oh

24:35

my goodness. So much city. Who am

24:37

I? What am I ever going be

24:39

done? Go back and look at how

24:41

far you can swipe back and forth.

24:43

Look at the time stamps. Oh that's

24:45

right on. January Thirteenth.

24:47

A Thursday, January thirty fourth, which

24:49

is not even a date. But

24:51

anyway. But on January Thirteenth, I

24:53

worked in there for twenty seven

24:55

minutes and oh wow, I made

24:57

a big impact. Okay,

24:59

yes, okay, I'm inspired. It doesn't feel

25:02

defeating any more to be in the

25:04

middle. It makes me think, oh, I

25:06

could spend twenty eight minutes today, make

25:09

even more progress and that how far

25:11

can I get a of an appliance

25:13

so those before and better pictures or

25:16

teeth. But it's also openly about redefining

25:18

that goal right, making that goal better,

25:20

making that goal less acknowledging that I

25:23

will be decluttering for ever. There.

25:25

Is no. I'm. Gonna do this

25:27

and I'm going to be done. It's gonna

25:29

be once and for all of a list

25:31

as get that out of our mind and

25:33

say I'm just gonna keep on decluttering and

25:35

knowing that it's gonna keep on going forever.

25:37

I'm always amazed when. You

25:40

know, one of the comments that I

25:42

get from people a lot is that

25:44

it actually changed things for them. And

25:48

help them be able to start making

25:50

real progress when they realized. That.

25:52

It was never going to be over. Because. the problem

25:55

is when you think it's a project and

25:57

when you think it's he there's an end

25:59

date of sinners line, then

26:02

you finish the project

26:05

and then clutter reappears and you feel like, well, what

26:07

was the point? But there was

26:09

so much point in all that you've done. But when

26:11

you realize it's an ongoing thing for the rest

26:13

of my life and the more I declutter now,

26:15

the less I have to declutter later, then

26:18

when new clutter reappears, it doesn't feel

26:20

like a defeat. Instead, it is

26:23

just that, oh yeah, well, you know, I just

26:25

got to keep decluttering. I keep on decluttering. I

26:27

just keep on getting rid of stuff and that's

26:29

how I keep my house from going back to

26:31

where it was before. This

26:36

message comes from BOF sponsor

26:38

eBay. You'll know real when

26:40

you get it. It'll say

26:42

eBay Authenticity Guarantee. And

26:45

you'll feel it. Maybe it's a

26:47

head-turning handbag, a watch that says it

26:49

all. eBay

26:58

gets it. So look for the blue

27:00

checkmark next to that thing you love

27:02

and be confident that every inch, stitch,

27:04

sole and logo is checked by experts.

27:07

With eBay authenticity guarantee,

27:09

You can trust that feeling of real

27:11

is always in reach. Ensure

27:14

your next purchase is the real

27:16

deal. Visit ebay.com for terms. What

27:23

are some strategies to

27:26

get through the messy middle or diminish

27:28

the messy middle or view

27:30

it as a different way? Well, it's to not

27:33

view your house as a project. It's

27:35

to follow the visibility rule so that you

27:37

are experiencing the impact of what you have

27:39

already done and it's making your life better

27:42

and easier so that as

27:44

you keep going, you're

27:46

like, okay, well, I've already made my life better

27:49

and easier. That means that the

27:51

more I do, the better and easier my

27:53

life is going to continue to get right

27:56

or redefine the goal to be less

27:58

and better as opposed to. Other

28:01

strategies are. To

28:04

accept that decluttering regret. Is.

28:06

A thing. And it's

28:08

okay. Air on

28:10

the side of decluttering regret.

28:13

This is hard for those

28:15

who really, really. See.

28:18

You're. Needing.

28:20

Something that. They

28:22

have already declared or a. Fear that they

28:24

are going to end up needing something.

28:27

And. Therefore, then it went to

28:29

declutter. I get that like this was me

28:31

to right? I mean us or is a

28:33

while. I mean I. I didn't need such

28:36

and such until all the sudden and two

28:38

weeks after I declared at that's when I

28:40

needed at okay. But the reality is you

28:42

might have needed is another time and you

28:44

just didn't know that you had it and

28:46

so you'd gone out and bought another one

28:48

anyway, right? Like that's probably more likely. It's

28:50

not that you did not ever need it,

28:52

it's that's didn't even know you had it.

28:54

So. All. Those other times you

28:56

were going out and buying another one which meant you

28:58

were bringing more and more and more into your house

29:00

was getting harder to control in a way. That's another

29:02

speech for another time. Accepting

29:05

that regret is a thing. That

29:08

people whose houses are

29:10

consistently. Clutter free. Choose.

29:13

To live with regret.

29:16

Instead. Of clutter. That

29:18

is often the choice. Clutter.

29:22

Or. Potential regret.

29:25

I would rather and this is so hard

29:27

to say but it has become the trees

29:29

for me. I would prefer. To.

29:33

Get. Rid of something. That is

29:35

clutter meaning it does not have a place

29:37

in my home. Were. Actually

29:40

know where it is and

29:42

can handle it. Can.

29:44

Is it? It's over my clutter threshold?

29:46

I would prefer to get rid of

29:48

it. And know as I'm

29:50

getting rid of it that I may

29:52

regret this. And. Yet.

29:55

I would prefer. Regret.

29:59

Over. Having. Fun thing in my

30:01

house! That's. Consistently getting

30:03

out of control. And. Definitely

30:06

making my house harder to live

30:08

in. It's definitely making my life

30:10

harder to live. It's

30:13

definitely. A bad

30:15

thing if it stays in my house and it's

30:17

clutter. And I'm willing to

30:19

take the risk that I'm gonna regret getting rid

30:21

of it. Because. That is

30:24

just a maybe. But

30:26

it staying in my house is a definite.

30:28

It's making my life harder to live because

30:30

I don't have a place for it. Time.

30:34

So accepting that regret. Is

30:37

a thing. And. It's okay, right?

30:40

Accepting that. There.

30:42

Is no end. And here's the thing to. In

30:45

which has with a minute ago. But it's

30:47

there's no Ends. There is no

30:49

middle. Get. Them. You

30:52

can't have a messy middle. If

30:55

there is no and we

30:57

are celebrating progress all along

31:00

the way, Progress and Only

31:02

progress when you really wrap

31:04

your mind around that way

31:07

of decluttering. It is so

31:09

powerful and so encouraging. So

31:12

focus on how much easier

31:14

it is to live. With

31:17

law. Every step

31:19

along the way as you get rid

31:21

of anything you have less. With.

31:24

Every I'd unless. Your

31:26

house is a little easier to maintain. Your

31:29

house is a little easier to keep. Under control.

31:32

There. Is less for you to

31:34

have to clean and deal

31:36

with and rearrange and manage

31:38

and. Blob of Law. That.

31:41

Means you're experiencing success all

31:44

along the way. The.

31:46

Focusing on it being easier

31:48

to live with Last means

31:50

that. Everything. That leaves

31:52

it gets easier and easier and

31:54

easier. And. if i'm considering that

31:57

to be my success the middle doesn't feel

31:59

as mess And most of

32:01

all, I think it's just

32:03

really important to remember that difference

32:06

between decluttering and organizing. Decluttering

32:09

and organizing are not the same thing,

32:11

and so many times on the big

32:13

wow, zowie, before and

32:15

after, whoosh, whoosh, photos and videos

32:17

and stuff on shows,

32:21

there tend to be elaborate organizing systems

32:23

and a lot of those types of

32:25

things. And

32:27

yet, I've

32:29

had elaborate organizing systems in the

32:31

past, but organizing is problem solving.

32:33

It can be overwhelming. It can also

32:36

be over my clutter threshold to

32:38

maintain it. So,

32:40

accepting that my goal here is to

32:43

declutter. It is going to have a

32:45

bigger impact on my home to get

32:47

rid of stuff than it is

32:49

to come up with a fancy

32:51

system. Okay? So,

32:55

my goal here is not necessarily

32:58

an amazing after photo that

33:00

makes everybody go, wow, that should be in

33:02

a magazine. My goal is to

33:05

declutter and to acknowledge

33:07

that decluttering is incredibly powerful in achieving

33:10

the home that I want anyway. If

33:13

I'm ever going to get to that after photo, I

33:16

have to declutter anyway. And

33:19

maybe you'll be like me and you'll just declutter and

33:22

you'll realize, yeah, I'm actually good with this. I actually

33:24

like it like this. This is great. Okay.

33:27

So, the messy middle is real, but

33:30

it doesn't have to be like you thought. I

33:33

hope that was helpful. I will talk

33:35

to you all next week.