0:00

Let's. Let's do a live. Hello

0:06

and welcome to my. Car

0:09

Gap. Or

0:18

December. Twenty Eight Twenty Twenty three.

0:20

It's the conundrums addition. We are

0:22

live before a huge crowd at

0:25

the Ninety Second Street. Why? It's

0:31

a crowd that's a buzz.

0:33

I saw philosophers and theologians

0:35

nobel prize winners macarthur genius

0:38

is. The

0:40

Dali Lama himself this year,

0:42

Oprah on one side, Thomas

0:45

Alva Edison on the other.

0:47

They've all com you ball

0:49

com to hear us, discuss

0:51

and cogitate and contemplating consider

0:53

some of the most important

0:56

questions of our time. Like.

0:59

Is it ok to put your trash

1:01

in someone elses trash? If

1:04

you had to live in a store for the

1:06

rest of your life, which store would it be?

1:10

If. Food had feelings, wouldn't want to be

1:12

eaten or not want to be eaten. I.

1:16

Am David parts of City Cast and joining

1:18

Me on the Conundrum stage. On.

1:21

My left from the New York Times and

1:23

Yale University Law School. I did you all

1:25

see the story? That eighty

1:27

percent of gray that Yale

1:30

are a. And

1:32

I for one with not surprised because

1:35

they're being taught by Emily. so they're

1:37

definitely going to get a and least

1:39

give it up for the woman who

1:41

does not need a billionaire benefactor to

1:44

reshape American law Emily Basil. And

1:52

we have a absence tonight as I've

1:54

already told you guys, but listeners at

1:56

home. John.

1:58

Has been waylaid by one hunt. Biden

2:00

indictment and a he he was

2:02

on his way to the. So.

2:05

He's on his way here and he's

2:07

He was pulled back by his Cbs

2:09

bosses who is not year. Hopefully he

2:11

might be able join us later. We

2:13

don't know. Yes, that is okay, Yes

2:16

and well you might do to us.

2:18

Also, Stephen Colbert was going to join

2:20

us but his appendix ruptures. I don't

2:22

know what's going on over Cbs. Something

2:24

something is happening. I'm. Serious.

2:27

Recuperating when we find out sent

2:29

out a couple days ago it

2:31

seemed couldn't join us. We thought,

2:33

well who is as funny and

2:35

wise and humane as Stephen Colbert?

2:37

last and Will and Malice out

2:39

there was an obvious answer: Please

2:41

welcome to Time Pulitzer Prize winner

2:43

New York Times Critic at Large,

2:45

Wesley Morris. Said

2:55

you said you wait We will we

2:57

ever see. How. Stephen

2:59

doing? Do we know? He's.

3:02

Better yeah set sail on the As much

3:04

as I heard he couldn't do his own

3:06

so he was not going to come idea

3:08

of a lot. I'm

3:10

happy to be here and you know and

3:12

where you as you call I will rest.

3:15

I always listen to the still seeking does

3:17

I'm glad is not me. My

3:19

heart of the front of the show

3:21

is really honestly, I don't have the

3:24

answers any these questions on a without

3:26

going to happen. One

3:28

of my own anxiety dreams is actually

3:30

been asked to fill in for someone

3:33

like Stephen Colbert. less no notice. So

3:35

I really admire the stones on you.

3:37

I'll tell you my real anxiety dreams

3:39

later and they're like this is actually

3:42

a very small. Small.

3:44

Like spans x amount of of

3:46

anxiety on my part. so. On

3:49

today's Gop S your conundrums York

3:52

and On Drums are conundrums Profound

3:54

One silly ones. Ones that. Make

3:57

you. Really wonder about the mental health of

3:59

the person who. asked it. I'm

4:01

glad you said that because I've having read them

4:03

I'm like some of these. Wow and

4:06

we will have a lightning round and we'll have

4:09

a slate plus which will be even more conundrum.

4:13

Let's get started with one that we've all

4:15

already sort of thought about a little bit

4:17

which is Emily is it okay

4:19

to put your trash in someone else's garbage can if

4:21

you're you don't have space in your own. Well

4:24

okay so there are different parts of this

4:26

so your own garbage can is full then

4:29

you would be using your neighbor's trash can

4:31

right. I think that

4:33

if your neighbor's trash can is ready

4:36

on the curb and there's space in

4:38

it and the garbage is getting picked

4:40

up the next day then yes it's

4:42

okay. But I also all right

4:45

so we can talk about that but I

4:47

also have a whole set of deliberations that

4:49

I do every day about dog

4:51

poop and what you're allowed to do and

4:53

how far you have to be from a

4:55

public trash can and whether the problem with

4:57

using someone's trash can for dog poop is

4:59

whether you're they're gonna see you or whether

5:02

it's actually really bad. Okay so

5:05

I want to put that on the table as well. And?

5:08

Well I know my dog

5:11

has two lawns like two

5:13

blocks from my house that

5:15

she likes the best and

5:18

she has very little poops but obviously

5:20

I picked them up for sure and

5:22

so she poops like it's a four

5:24

block walk it's right in the middle

5:26

the and the two more blocks is

5:28

the public trash can when

5:30

I'm running I just keep I carry

5:32

it the whole way but if I'm

5:34

walking and it's a trash day and

5:36

the trash is out and there's room

5:38

but I know it's gonna get collected

5:40

that morning then I like sneak it

5:42

but I always feel... You just said that

5:44

the shits were tiny like... Well I just like

5:47

if it's you know like it's I'm putting

5:49

it but I also want to make sure

5:51

that it doesn't get left in the trash

5:53

can and I always am worried that someone's gonna get

5:55

mad at me. Oh my god. What's more about? You're

5:57

as neurotic as I am about to go on. No no.

6:00

I feel like I've said close enough. Do you guys know the

6:02

amazing Ben Wittes story? So Ben Wittes, great podcaster,

6:04

journalist. So Ben Wittes tells the story about having

6:06

dropped dog poop in someone's

6:08

trash can. The person saw him do

6:10

it, was furious, came out, grabbed it,

6:13

threw it at him. Oh

6:16

my God. And they sort

6:18

of exchanged words. Somebody not his words exchanged

6:20

words of hostility. And his question was, was

6:22

he the asshole or was she the asshole?

6:25

She was the asshole. No. No.

6:28

No. No. No. All

6:31

right. Wait. Why

6:33

was Ben's asshole? Well, because I left out a key

6:35

part. He did. I forgot. I forgot.

6:38

He did not then pick up the dog poop that she

6:40

threw back at him. But was it like... Wait. That's

6:43

an admissible. We're

6:45

actually arguing the ethics of putting the poop in

6:47

the trash in the first place. Well, I was

6:49

elaborating on it. So the

6:52

ethics... Wait. When she threw it at him,

6:54

was it still in the bag when it landed? Yes,

6:56

it was still in the bag. Okay. So he

6:58

probably should have picked it up. But he probably then

7:01

turned his heel. It's hard to have a good, like,

7:03

exit strategy. When

7:05

somebody's throwing your own dog's poop at you.

7:08

Right. So let's just... I want to

7:10

come back to this. But I also

7:12

want to sort of stay with you, Emily. Because

7:14

I really... I live in a neighborhood where I

7:16

like that you started with the garbage being on

7:18

the street. Yes.

7:22

That's a big thing. What about this scenario?

7:24

What about this addendum to this question?

7:27

Which is that you have left your house

7:29

and you've got, say, an

7:32

apple that you just finish eating. And

7:34

you start when you close your front door and you

7:36

finish it before you get to the end of the

7:38

block. And you don't eat the core. No.

7:41

Can you on? Do people

7:43

do that? Yeah. Yeah.

7:47

But okay, go on. So it's the... Can you dump

7:49

the apple core? Do y'all do that? I do.

7:52

No. Just checking. Okay.

7:54

Just deep. Yeah. Okay.

7:57

I like the little... You've got a real strong...

8:00

gut situation. You should try it sometimes. All right, I'll

8:02

try it. But

8:05

I will

8:08

just put the I mean, I don't have public

8:10

cans on my part of the street. And I,

8:12

you know, I want to get rid of the

8:14

core as soon as I can. I carry a

8:17

paper towel with me. And so I'll

8:19

put it in a neighbor's compost bin and

8:21

just call it a day. That's so I think compost

8:24

bin. I think that's okay. I

8:26

think compost bin is not like garbage. I

8:28

think compost bin people who have compost bins

8:30

want more stuff in it. No, no, no, no,

8:32

no, no, no, in New York City, I don't know

8:34

how it works in DC, but like the city will

8:36

come and take the bin. So it's for our purposes

8:39

garbage. Okay, okay. I don't think that's that different,

8:41

except it's just not poop. I guess my, it

8:44

is different. I just don't well, right. But

8:46

I guess I do have what I'm

8:48

thinking as I'm doing it is what

8:50

would I say if

8:52

if if somebody opened their front door and said, what the

8:54

fuck are you doing? And what would you

8:56

say? It's I'm, I'm not throwing it

8:58

on the ground. And my

9:01

house is all the way back there. Why can't

9:03

I put it in yours? You're not going to

9:05

notice it's a tiny lab of court. Okay, does

9:08

it make I mean, if you saw someone putting

9:10

garbage in your garbage can and it was out

9:12

on the street, would you stop and no, nobody?

9:15

No, I don't want to know. I mean, clearly, there's

9:17

people in person. There are people who care. And I

9:19

guess the reason I think you probably shouldn't do it

9:21

is that the people who care care a lot. And

9:23

they never know. And they, yeah, they consider

9:26

they have property rights in their garbage. Actually,

9:28

let who here will willingly admit that they

9:30

would be pissed if someone put garbage in

9:32

their garbage can? I

9:35

see somebody right there. I feel like the way

9:37

you phrase it made it impossible. I know.

9:40

Wait, can I ask a question? Because I

9:42

don't I don't have a dog. And I've

9:44

never I mean, we can talk about the

9:47

sort of humiliation of picking up dog poop

9:49

twice a day. I

9:51

can't bring myself to do it. But

9:53

it's also why I don't let people put their

9:55

take their shoes, put keep their shoes on in

9:57

my house. I live in the city just don't

10:01

No, can't do it. Sorry.

10:03

But is dog

10:06

poop compostable? I

10:08

don't think so. Because it smells so bad.

10:10

Someone thinks that it is. New York City

10:12

will take it. They won't... The

10:16

city will not take feces from

10:19

cats. From cats, but dogs,

10:21

yes, apparently. That's what you're saying. What

10:26

the hell? Oh. Well,

10:29

I'm curious. It's been a great show. We're

10:33

going to talk about this all the time. Keep

10:35

going. It's literally 9.30. I

10:38

just think about what would happen if I got caught doing it,

10:41

and I don't really have a good answer except I'm not

10:43

littering. Emily, what's another

10:45

conundrum? When will M&M's

10:47

no longer be produced and why? Go

10:55

on. Go

10:57

ahead. Sorry. No, no. I talked

10:59

a lot. If

11:03

you think back on things that used to be made that

11:05

aren't made anymore, things

11:08

that are brands, there are brands

11:10

that stop existing. I'm not

11:12

sure there are things like... You

11:14

know, Brielle Cream still exists, I guess,

11:16

maybe. But nobody...

11:18

Who's using it? And

11:21

they're brands that our grandparents used. But

11:24

M&M's are so big, and they're very

11:26

functional, useful candy. So the

11:28

only way I can think of M&M's

11:30

not being produced is like a truly

11:32

catastrophic event that basically destroyed the American

11:34

economy. So that

11:36

either it's like there's no longer any cocoa

11:38

butter, whatever it is being

11:41

produced in the whole world, which is really

11:43

terrible, or supply chains have completely collapsed. So

11:46

I think it is probably like 23 years from now. I

11:50

think it's also the apocalypse. And imagine

11:52

how many... I bet you M&M's last

11:54

forever. I think they would

11:56

be with us for a very long time. I

11:59

also don't like M&M's. I don't think they're

12:01

good sheep. I really like oh Emily

12:07

You had them and then you lost

12:09

them Emily usually the crowds love Emily.

12:11

I love it. I love

12:13

M&M. They're great Wait,

12:17

but Emily but Emily I've got one

12:20

I'm allergic to chocolate So

12:22

I've never even had an M&M Come

12:28

on So

12:30

maybe it's a world in which all children are

12:32

the offspring of Wesley Morris and Everyone

12:35

is in it to send it from you and

12:37

they're all allergic to chocolate Then having me as

12:39

a father you didn't know was your dad But

12:43

wait, I want to talk about one aspect of

12:46

this question that actually fascinates me which is the

12:48

marketing of M&Ms, right? I

12:51

actually think the thing that should end

12:53

the M&M lifespan

12:56

is the sort of personification

12:58

of M&Ms Which

13:00

I suppose the M&Ms the

13:02

like the F like they're actually doing

13:05

sexy stuff in some of these ads

13:08

it's too much also also

13:10

I Think

13:12

the problem with the M&M commercials is

13:15

like they've made eating the M&M part

13:17

of the scary thing about being an

13:19

M&M Is that you you might get

13:21

eaten? I? Just

13:23

I don't know there's literally a conundrum if food had

13:25

feelings would it want to be eaten or not to be

13:27

eaten? M&Ms

13:30

is answering the question mark the Mars

13:32

company does Mars still own M&Ms think

13:34

so. Yeah, let's say so They definitely

13:37

don't want you to think that the M&Ms want to

13:39

be eaten Which is weird also if they want people

13:41

to eat the M&M for as long as we

13:43

have famous people we're gonna have M&Ms because the

13:45

the M&M Sorting mechanism

13:47

is how you know which stars are

13:50

the stars they are Right

13:52

like I don't want any red ones don't let

13:54

me see a green one I need you to take

13:56

all how many colors are there four I need you

13:58

to take all the colors It was probably

14:00

more than four and a half. I need

14:02

to sort these M&Ms according to my album

14:05

release date, the tracks on them, the people

14:07

that produced them. You know the real story

14:09

of that, though? It's an amazing story. The

14:12

Van Halen. The evification of M&Ms. The Van

14:14

Halen had this whole thing where you could

14:16

not, if Van

14:18

Halen was doing a show, you couldn't have

14:20

a Brown M&Ms. They insisted

14:22

there would be no Brown M&Ms. Wouldn't put

14:24

that past Eddie and the gang. Eddie

14:27

and the gang. If they got to

14:29

a gig and there were Brown M&Ms, they were like, we're done. And

14:32

they wouldn't perform. And the whole reason, it

14:34

was a writer in the show, and the

14:36

whole reason in the contract was that their

14:38

feeling was if the people who were putting

14:41

on the show hadn't read the contract, hadn't

14:43

bothered to abide by it, then they couldn't

14:45

trust all the safety issues, all the other

14:47

things that really mattered. Eddie, we're right. That

14:49

was the reason. All right. Hey,

14:54

this is Mary Harris, host of Slate's

14:56

Daily News podcast, What Next? Slate's

14:58

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17:07

gab best. Give

17:10

us a conundrum Wesley. Really? Yeah. Is

17:13

it okay to uninvite somebody from a birthday

17:15

party? I

17:18

mean under what circumstances is it

17:20

okay to disinvite someone from anything?

17:22

I feel like especially a birthday party seems mean.

17:25

You fucked my man. Oh,

17:37

then why were you invited in the first place?

17:39

You cause I didn't know. He just found out.

17:41

I mean, I just, I was creeping through

17:43

the phone last night and guess what I

17:45

saw? Fucking my

17:47

man. But then maybe the birthday party isn't

17:49

happening at all. I'm

17:52

still partying. You

17:55

can't come. It's

17:57

that simple. I mean, literally

18:00

discovered their spouse having a fair

18:03

looking at their phone 10 minutes

18:05

before a birthday party. Wait, but

18:08

isn't isn't conversation

18:11

1b? Don't

18:15

do that. Don't mess

18:17

with your spouse's phone. Don't

18:19

do it. Yeah. Just don't go in there.

18:21

You don't want to know.

18:25

So okay. Emily.

18:29

What? No, I don't

18:31

do that. Okay. I'm not a believer in that.

18:33

I am gonna yeah. It's my I have problems

18:35

which are more that I don't know any passwords

18:38

for it. I think there are reasons to not have

18:40

people come to your party if you find something out

18:42

there or you just don't want to in this time,

18:45

right? Maybe birthday parties should be a

18:47

thing where you don't uninvite people because

18:49

maybe that's the you want to donate

18:51

your gift your birthday gift to your

18:53

friends for yourself is to maybe work

18:55

out some stuff at the party or

18:57

something right as opposed to the way

18:59

it once might have worked 10 minutes

19:02

ago where you find out that somebody's got

19:04

some views you don't like and you just

19:06

don't want them in your world

19:09

on a happy night. Can you still have fun

19:11

at your party if you've had to disinvite someone?

19:13

Yeah. Yeah. A hundred

19:15

percent. I think I would get a

19:17

weight spin lifted. Yeah.

19:19

I think I would be so torn up by

19:21

that that I would just feel terrible

19:24

and like start spinning and it would

19:26

be that I just wouldn't leave. I

19:28

maybe I'm exaggerating but I don't I

19:30

don't know. I find withdrawing invitations incredibly

19:33

it makes

19:35

me so full of anxiety.

19:37

Very kind of person. I

19:39

don't I mean I mean you're also you

19:41

know pragmatic. But what? Doesn't

19:45

like M&Ms. All right.

19:47

You must pick one book from your actual

19:49

bookshelf. Ask

19:59

Mitchell. cost to give to an

20:01

alien species to represent humanity. What

20:05

book do you pick? I

20:10

mean, do you have one? No,

20:12

not really. I want you to answer first if

20:14

possible. Well, it's funny because the first thing that,

20:16

I mean, there's so many things. I mean, what

20:18

do I want an alien to know about humanity?

20:22

I mean, Gibbon, I guess. That's

20:24

a lot of books to be throwing at somebody. But

20:27

I mean, it's an obvious answer. But

20:31

me, I would choose Paul Beatty to sell out. I

20:34

don't know if anybody's read that book. I

20:37

mean, it's about the US, so it's not

20:39

particularly useful for the rest of the planet.

20:43

But I mean, you're getting to know a

20:45

lot about the way you can

20:47

laugh at a thing that isn't working. This

20:50

is one of our great American satirists, Paul

20:53

Beatty. And he's

20:55

written this, he wrote this great book that came out, I

20:57

think, 2013, 14. That's

21:03

essentially a race satire of involving

21:07

a lot of American entertainment history and

21:09

what happens when he

21:11

basically attempts to recreate it. Why

21:14

would aliens like that? What are the aliens

21:16

going to do? Because it's funny. It's hilarious.

21:19

Would they get the humor if they were aliens? It

21:22

would, yes. It

21:25

would succeed at the thing that it's doing so

21:27

that it's clear enough what the jokes are. I

21:29

think that's right. What about you, Emily? I

21:32

mean, I have to say, and this is

21:34

such a craven answer, I would pick a

21:36

poetry anthology that had a lot of different

21:38

writers in it. It's like poetry, I

21:40

know. Sorry. I

21:42

love you so much. Your form of virtue, actually

21:44

my virtue, secondly, I'm about to, is going to

21:46

be even worse. So go ahead. Finish. So

21:49

wait. First of all, even though

21:51

I don't know anything about poetry and

21:53

I'm intimidated by it, I think that

21:55

something that just is lyrical and depends

21:58

on language and conveys meaning. let's

22:00

do it in a really good translation you have

22:02

to have a great translation translate you mean like

22:04

an an but i think that we should be only how

22:06

the only going to read it but that's a problem with anything

22:08

i think that's what i think that's what i think that's okay

22:10

i think i had fine finish your point uh...

22:13

i don't know i but i i agree

22:15

that the anthology part of my answer is

22:17

a terrible part of the answer you're just want to

22:19

represent all of human the

22:21

imagination and beauty yeah i

22:23

get worried about using one anything

22:25

that's refracted through one writer feels

22:27

like choosing a particular identity to

22:29

me sure and there's so many

22:32

i feel like mine is that mine is exactly the

22:35

flipside version of yours and it's so pedestrian

22:37

which is studs turkles working

22:40

who all these people talking about how

22:43

that would work how they feel about work what they do to

22:45

learn it's like or richard scary's

22:47

what do people do all day which i'm not sure is all

22:49

my yeah no i'm sure it's on my

22:51

bookshelf but it's that same might as well be

22:53

could be it's the it's like a she

22:56

shows all human activity and people thought

22:58

on human activity that reports part of

23:01

it that work i love studs circle

23:03

that's a great example yeah

23:06

i can't that's i wish i thought of that which

23:10

he's not saying about my poetry anthology

23:13

i also like that too uh...

23:16

what it would never occurred to me that one

23:18

there's a shot uh... okay

23:21

there was a red a thread uh...

23:23

with the question what would you wish

23:26

on your worst enemy with deliciously banal

23:28

answers like that both sides of the

23:30

pillow are warm or perpetually

23:33

wet socks in

23:36

the spirit what would you wish on

23:38

your worst enemy and this question comes

23:40

from patricia gonzales i

23:43

think that you're going to do the most i love this

23:45

question i ate when i saw that i was like there's

23:47

an such an obvious answer it

23:50

is for mother to actually to

23:52

obvious answers one is be

23:55

next to leaf blowers all the time And

24:01

the other is sitting next

24:03

to like a 75 year old on a

24:05

train who is trying to watch a video

24:11

Okay My eternity

24:13

that's good mine reflects. I think

24:15

both age and gender sadly Waiting

24:18

in line you can't lose your place

24:20

in line and desperately having to pee

24:22

oh Excellent

24:26

and terrible a Life

24:29

of curdle dairy products That's

24:33

my wish Like of

24:35

all the like you know when they say I

24:37

would never know my ever forever I would

24:40

never wish it on my worst enemy. I never know what

24:42

that you know What is the thing I would wish I

24:44

think curl dairy product? We

24:47

all we've all been there you open our mouth

24:50

and you're expecting it you didn't smell it.

24:52

Yeah, it should be good And

24:54

you have you already poured it in the

24:56

coffee. Oh the whole thing you baked something

24:59

with that You

25:03

think that he can solve that problem, but oh

25:05

no It's

25:10

your turn All

25:12

right, this is a long one, but it I

25:14

think You you Emily.

25:16

I think are equipped to answer it

25:19

for real And then you know David, and I

25:21

can just have a lot of feelings Dear

25:25

this is from um Kali Rocha

25:28

Kali Rocha Matt Kali Rocha and

25:30

Matt call it all right Thank

25:33

you for this Kali Dear

25:36

smart and thoughtful friends why

25:38

all caps do realtors have to

25:41

by law at least in California Reveal

25:44

that someone died in the home. They are

25:46

selling to future owners No

25:49

one can explain this to me with a

25:51

cogent argument that doesn't graze the metaphysical which

25:53

I think of as Sharing no

25:55

boundary with law of course a

25:58

death due to crime is one One

26:00

thing, an actual death, however, should

26:03

have no bearing on the actual value of

26:05

a property unless you believe in ghosts. That

26:07

was in all caps. Also in all caps.

26:10

It's true a conundrum that even

26:12

years of dinner party solicitation can't

26:14

explain. It's a true conundrum,

26:17

sorry, that even years of dinner party

26:19

solicitation can't explain. Under what

26:21

circumstances should you take your partner or

26:23

whole family... Oh, sorry. That's

26:25

Matt's question. All right. Let me

26:28

just get to the... True conundrum that even years

26:30

of dinner party solicitation can't explain. So Emily, why?

26:32

Okay. So I think

26:34

the answer to this has to do with

26:36

property value and that your property value can

26:38

be affected even by things that aren't real

26:40

because your property value has to do with

26:42

how people perceive the property. So

26:45

the idea is that people

26:48

will have a kind of

26:50

instinctual recoiling from

26:52

a house where a death took place

26:55

and that that's going to affect the value

26:57

of the house. And so everybody has to

26:59

have that information because otherwise they could argue

27:01

that you hid something that could materially affect

27:04

the value of the property. But

27:06

it does kind of still have to

27:08

do with ghosts or at least it has to

27:11

do with the association with

27:13

death. I suppose you could separate just

27:15

the idea of people recoiling

27:17

from death. You could say that that's different

27:19

from ghosts, but I think it also does kind of have

27:22

to do with ghosts. So

27:24

Poltergeist, right? Like you

27:28

guys remember the film Poltergeist, not Poltergeist in

27:30

general. I mean, I did

27:32

not... I mean, not set

27:34

in California, I don't believe, but

27:37

also sort of has

27:39

this flavor of what happens when people die. What

27:42

about all the other stuff that happens in a house though

27:44

that I would actually want to know too? If

27:46

we're talking about dead stuff, let's like make a list of

27:49

10 other things I want to know. Every really loud

27:51

argument? I mean, what

27:53

about near death? Yeah. Or

27:56

like that scene in Breaking Bad where the

27:58

bathtub comes and is yelling. was meth

28:00

made in this house? But there was a death in it.

28:02

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. Of course, there's a small body.

28:04

I just watched it. Yeah. All

28:06

right, what's next? OK, next, I got

28:09

one. How about, would

28:13

you rather have a lovable fool or

28:16

a competent jerk as your coworker,

28:18

ask Becca Nagorski? Wait,

28:22

what's the difference? What

28:25

do you mean, what's the difference? Between a lovable fool and a

28:28

competent jerk, have you ever? Or only work with people

28:30

who are both all of those things at once? Oh,

28:34

I guess a lovable fool. You

28:36

know? Really? What are you relying them on? What

28:39

are you imagining doing with them? What if they're your

28:41

editor? What are my options again? Let me

28:43

just have to get the terms exactly right.

28:45

Lovable fool, competent jerk. I

28:49

think a lovable fool. I mean, I can. Oh,

28:53

wow. Because

28:56

you know what? You know what? They're

28:59

both going to give you high blood pressure,

29:01

right? They're both going to

29:03

be somebody you talk to your person

29:05

at home about, you talk to your

29:07

other coworkers about. You can't stand either

29:10

person, right? I

29:12

feel like, well,

29:15

I don't know. Now that I'm working through this. But

29:18

I think it depends. You're not building NASA

29:20

rockets. You're not building things where it's weird.

29:23

But we don't know that. I'm asking. Oh, maybe

29:25

Wesley? I think in the

29:27

scenario where you're building something where lives depend on

29:29

it, the lovable fool is a poor idea. If

29:32

you're a surgeon, this is not the right answer. Lovable

29:34

fool. You work in the emergency room.

29:36

Yes. I think if you have a job

29:38

or anything really depends on it. But what if we don't

29:40

have jobs like that? We don't have jobs like that. But

29:42

we do have jobs where like, I

29:45

mean, imagine that you, it

29:47

depends who the person is. If the person

29:49

is supposed to be, OK, for us, it's

29:51

like someone trying to make your writing better and

29:53

also like stick up for you within the

29:55

institution of the New York Times, et cetera,

29:57

et cetera. Rather have a jerk?

30:00

Well, the problem with the lovable fool is

30:02

that it becomes the quality becomes all on

30:04

you and that makes me really nervous. Let's

30:09

go and do a quick audience poll. Would you,

30:11

first we're going to ask if you'd rather work

30:13

with a lovable fool, second will be competent jerk

30:16

and answer by making noise. Would you rather

30:18

work with a lovable fool? Would

30:23

you rather work with a competent jerk?

30:28

A lot of emergency room positions here. That's a

30:30

pretty even divide. No, I think the competent

30:32

jerks were louder. Can

30:35

I actually? Well, maybe that's something. A

30:39

vote. That was a vote.

30:41

That was the best vote we can do. I

30:44

don't know if you guys noticed

30:46

this, sorry, I'm going to take another question which

30:48

is very similar, but there were three different people

30:50

who asked a question which is a variation on

30:52

this which makes me think there is a lot

30:54

of imposter syndrome going on, which

30:57

was basically would you rather be very lucky but

31:00

stupid or very unlucky but smart?

31:03

And that was Kevin McGinnis' version. There was a different

31:05

version which is would you rather be smart

31:09

but people think you're dumb or dumb and people think

31:11

you're smart. And so a lot

31:13

of people clearly are going through life thinking they're just lucky

31:15

or that a lot

31:17

they're not actually smart. Would

31:20

you rather be lucky and dumb or

31:22

smart and unlucky? It's so

31:24

frustrating to feel like things are unlucky. I

31:26

think I would rather be dumb

31:28

and lucky. I think that's right. Can

31:34

I ask an ontological

31:36

question here? Of course.

31:40

Do dumb people know they're dumb? I

31:47

don't know, I've never really thought about this, but I

31:50

would just know I was lucky. I

31:53

would know I was dumb. Well that's a good

31:55

reason to pick this side because you would just

31:57

go through life feeling lost. I

31:59

would be awful if I was smart and unlucky because I'd be

32:01

running around I'd be Larry David yeah yeah we know what

32:06

that's like yeah right no I mean

32:09

the thing that's so great

32:11

about dumb people I think

32:14

is that they don't know wait

32:18

which way would you be happier you

32:20

would definitely be happy you're lucky yeah

32:22

I wouldn't yeah I wouldn't know for

32:25

you I'm right smart to me right

32:27

perfect be dumb right now yeah it's

32:29

not your problem Emily

32:32

what's my problem okay we see Roman ruins

32:35

all over Europe what will

32:42

people 2500 years from now see

32:45

of America today comes from Beth

32:47

Kirsch that's great question

32:49

just cabas will just be

32:51

cabas ruined cabas thousands

32:54

of cabas I

32:56

come from Washington we're the only monument

32:59

of the cava I love cabas I hope

33:01

that that's all that's left you guys eaten

33:03

there so good my

33:05

inaugural meal at one of

33:07

those was fantastic I have

33:10

been chasing that meal forever

33:12

who years I don't even know

33:14

what I got the one

33:16

I was at the light with the best lighting

33:19

anyway let's answer okay I actually would go a corporate

33:23

route to I'm thinking what I think is

33:25

the Starbucks logo is just

33:27

like in you

33:30

know the cobblestones on my street that

33:32

are like partially covered up by tar

33:34

you know by paving it'd be

33:36

something like that to be some corporate it

33:39

would have to be something corporate okay if

33:41

it's something corporate it's the M&M oh it's

33:45

the McDonald's sign yeah that's what I mess

33:47

McDonald's arches that's

33:51

what you think it's gonna be I don't think it's something corporate

33:53

I think it's something like

33:55

Mount Rushmore or well Mount

33:58

Everest is just about but something like the

34:00

Cosma Hall, but I guess that would just

34:02

be totally overgrown. That's not right either. What's

34:05

a natural wonder? But it would have to

34:07

be something that is in, you know,

34:09

native to like or synonymous

34:12

in some way with this

34:14

place, right? And also maybe

34:16

I'm totally wrong and it's plastic. It's

34:18

either plastic or cement. Like

34:21

a McDonald's playgrounds. Yes,

34:23

maybe it's McDonald's playgrounds forever. The slides

34:25

and the balls. I've

34:28

heard people say that when they in

34:30

like 60 million years, they'll know this

34:33

era existed by concrete. That concrete just is

34:35

there eternally and they'll see layers of concrete.

34:37

It'll be right. Things made of concrete, but

34:39

I don't even know what that is. Well,

34:41

it could, yeah, damn. That seems

34:44

right or... Have you guys

34:46

ever, I mean, I'm sure we all live in cities.

34:49

I always find that

34:51

that street work is so fascinating. Do

34:54

you guys ever like just get mesmerized

34:56

by the layers of work

34:59

that has gone into keeping you

35:01

as far away from the original

35:03

surface as humanly possible? Like I

35:06

can't, I don't even... When

35:08

I saw on my old street, how

35:11

many, I don't, I'm going

35:13

to say centuries of of work

35:15

had been done. Like we are about 30 feet

35:18

above the original surface. Because

35:20

it's just called the layers. I mean,

35:22

30 feet is probably an exaggeration, but it was deep.

35:25

I like concrete as an answer because it seems

35:27

possible. Wesley,

35:32

your turn. This is from Brian

35:34

Chechnicki. And

35:38

without knowing, without knowing how

35:40

long you're going to live or what quality of

35:42

life you will have between now and then, would

35:44

you trade three years off the end for

35:47

a guarantee of a better quality until then? 100%?

35:51

Absolutely. Not

35:55

even a question. So I also feel like this isn't

35:57

a conundrum and I would say the same thing, but do you

35:59

think that's... just reflects our age. Do you

36:01

think if we were older, we would

36:03

be more thoughtful and prudent about this

36:06

decision, and we're being hasty, because we

36:08

just can't really imagine dying? It's

36:14

not pressing enough for us to really worry

36:16

about, even if it's wrong. I worry about it

36:18

all the time. You do, really? Sure. Have

36:20

you read the question I put in here? Yeah. I

36:23

was gonna get to that. I mean, our question. What

36:27

about you, Wesley? Would you take

36:31

three miserable years of

36:35

the machines, your sister taking care

36:37

of you grudgingly? It wouldn't

36:39

be my sister. It would be her three kids. And

36:43

so, I mean, this is sort of getting me to the, I

36:46

mean, can I just read your question? Sure.

36:48

Can I answer this question by also

36:51

bringing in your question? I mean, I might start

36:53

crying while I read it, which is the last

36:55

thing I wanna do, but you

36:57

know. It could happen. We're warned. Okay.

37:01

This is from David Plots. First

37:07

time caller. There's

37:10

a history of Alzheimer's in my family. And

37:13

my father is currently in a long, slow decline

37:15

that's been nearly 10 years of loss for him

37:19

and all around him. He's

37:22

lost speech, names, control of

37:24

his body. He's not unhappy

37:27

or in pain, but

37:29

his decline has caused huge unhappiness for

37:31

those he loves. If

37:33

he knew what was going to happen to him, I'm

37:36

sure he would have thought to avoid it. But

37:38

we live in a country that discourages

37:40

suicide and assisted homicide for people who

37:42

are mentally incompetent. I live

37:44

in fear of the same last decade in the

37:47

shadows, gradually losing myself and

37:49

imposing terrible costs on those who must

37:51

care for me. What can

37:53

I do to plan to prevent this? How

37:55

can I safeguard my loved ones? Jesus.

38:01

My daughter's here tonight, so she'll take notes,

38:04

honey. I mean, Emily? We

38:13

can work this out together. I

38:15

mean, I would go to

38:17

great lengths to avoid this, but the

38:19

problem is, and this is obviously what

38:22

your question captures, there

38:24

is a very short sweet spot for

38:26

addressing this before you are too

38:28

far gone. I think it's really hard to actually believe it's

38:30

happening or to know what to do. I

38:33

mean, Amy Bloom wrote a whole book about this and taking her... Great

38:37

book, if you haven't read it. It's a

38:39

really wonderful book, and there's a great This American Life episode, and

38:42

David interviewed her, too. And

38:45

she went to Belgium, right, or Switzerland.

38:47

Switzerland, yeah. She went to Switzerland, where it's easier

38:49

to have assisted suicide, and it's

38:51

really an excellent book, and one of the things I appreciate about it

38:53

so much is that when they went, her husband was still in the

38:55

hospital, but when

38:57

they went, her husband was still joking,

38:59

still present, because he

39:01

had to be able to consent, and

39:04

so he couldn't be past the point where he

39:07

didn't understand and didn't enjoy life

39:09

anymore, and there's something, like, for

39:12

us, culturally, at least for me, kind

39:14

of breathtaking about that. Why can't you

39:16

pre-consent? Like, why can't you pre-consent to

39:18

being murdered? That's a really good position,

39:20

right? I mean, that's

39:22

a really good question, but that's not... I

39:25

mean, should we be able to do that? Well, the reason

39:27

we don't have assisted suicide in

39:29

that way is that we worry about

39:31

it being turned against people who are

39:34

vulnerable, and so we don't... It's

39:37

a slippery, slow problem. We think

39:39

that window of allowing for

39:41

consent isn't worth the dangers that

39:43

it could unleash. I can tell

39:45

you it is. Like, I can say, you know,

39:48

having lived through it, it absolutely is worth it. I mean, I

39:50

think... I consent, there's however many hundreds

39:52

of people here, and I

39:54

say in front of you, like, when I'm at the

39:56

stage, well before the stage to

39:58

pause at, have me... like find

40:00

a way to do it. I consent. Why

40:03

can't you do that? Yes,

40:06

I mean I would ask, I mean

40:08

this was in thinking about the answer

40:10

to this question or like the proposition

40:12

of a scenario would

40:15

be something along the lines of why couldn't this be

40:17

something that you're thinking about in the same way that

40:19

you design a will? Well

40:22

right, I mean obviously you do not resuscitate clauses

40:25

but we don't. That's different right? It is some,

40:27

yeah it is. Very different. So I mean I

40:29

feel the same way as you but I do

40:31

think it's important to remember that when you make

40:34

it easier to kill people than the people who

40:36

end up dead, maybe people who are vulnerable for

40:38

all kinds of other reasons, is there

40:40

so you know this comes up a lot in

40:43

disability rights about quality of life, who are we

40:45

to judge, is there something

40:47

different about an end-of-life decision

40:49

of someone who has been

40:52

compass mentis, has not been vulnerable for disabilities

40:54

through their whole life, do we think of

40:56

that as a different category or is

40:59

that still a slippery slope?

41:02

Wait, that if you if this is

41:04

a decision you're making at the end

41:06

of a long otherwise healthy life that

41:08

it should be accepted and be

41:10

given more credence somehow? No, we

41:12

don't have the same fears. Like we really

41:14

fear making it easier to have euthanasia of

41:17

disabled people and we feel that for good

41:19

reason but if you're someone whose disability comes

41:21

about only at the end of life, could

41:24

we treat that as a different category morally?

41:27

Is that safe? Well I don't

41:29

understand what the problem with anticipating this

41:31

as a like a like

41:33

a what

41:38

is the word that's not coming to

41:40

mind but like it's a contingency right?

41:42

Like there's a possibility that I could

41:45

suffer dementia, there could be

41:47

a whole sort of familial chain reaction that

41:49

I don't want to have to instigate

41:52

in my family. Like you know

41:54

especially in your case David, you

41:56

were living through an example of how hard

41:58

this is and you would never... want to

42:00

inflict that difficulty on your family. And there just

42:02

has to be, you are, you are, I

42:05

think your ability to sort of speak for yourself

42:08

and advocate for what you actually like to have

42:10

happen to you, written down,

42:12

notarized, you know, the whole, the

42:14

whole deal. And, you know, you

42:18

can change it if you want. But the law doesn't

42:20

allow that's the thing. But what I guess the question

42:22

is, we all I think we agree, I think the

42:24

law should permit that. I

42:26

agree. So right. So

42:28

you want to make more room for

42:31

assisted suicide planned out in advance in

42:33

this for homicide. I mean, I think people

42:35

can't yes, people are unable to do it.

42:37

I mean, that's one of the problems. They're

42:39

unable to kill themselves. No, no, no, no,

42:41

no, no. Sorry. Oh,

42:43

yeah. All these conversations is the

42:45

terminology, right? Yeah, we like once

42:47

we are talking about things that

42:50

involve like an episode of like

42:52

SVU. I just feel

42:54

like that just sounds more loaded

42:56

than what it actually is. I mean,

42:58

compassionate care, compassionate, compassion,

43:01

compassion, compassion, right? This is

43:03

preemptive compassion, right? This is

43:06

me as a sane, sentient

43:08

person, designating

43:11

that I care enough for the

43:13

people in my life, and

43:15

their finances and their time

43:17

in their own families to

43:19

say, Hey, once

43:22

I am no longer functional, once

43:24

I am no longer what you we can

43:27

all agree will be myself. I

43:30

think we have to talk about a way

43:32

to make everybody's lives easier, including

43:34

mine, probably by

43:36

ending it. Right. So you're talking

43:38

about sparing other people all of

43:41

the anguish and difficulty and sparing

43:43

yourself imagining yourself in that space,

43:45

which is itself a compassionate instinct,

43:47

right? Yeah. I mean, I think so.

43:50

I wonder if part of why this is so hard

43:52

is that the human resistance

43:54

to assisted suicide in

43:56

euthanasia came it's ancient,

43:58

I think. And it

44:00

came from a time where we didn't

44:02

have all this medical technology. And it

44:05

was easier to die. People died more

44:07

quickly. They died more brutally. They didn't,

44:09

we didn't have the capacity. And so

44:11

now we're at this moment, at least

44:13

in our society where it is possible,

44:16

it's actually become really hard to die

44:18

and in, in many circumstances. And then

44:20

there's this disjuncture between both our laws

44:22

and norms and what the actual

44:25

experiences are that we're wrestling with here.

44:27

I'm going to move us on. Okay. That

44:29

was, um,

44:32

I'm going to move us on to a really serious,

44:35

a really serious question. There's a, there's a gaffist. Uh,

44:38

there's a gaffist listener named Phil Goldstein,

44:41

who every year Phil sends us like

44:43

40 good conundrums and we always have

44:45

to do one. So this one conundrum

44:47

built, like you guys are so smart.

44:50

Oh, so Phil has won this year, which

44:52

is a great question, which is what is

44:54

the pla-platonic ideal of the proper way to

44:56

slice a sandwich? And does it depend

44:59

on the type of sandwich? This is why

45:01

Wesley's here. He's excited. Phil! My

45:03

man! I know the,

45:06

I mean, there's a certain, there's, there's one

45:08

definite answer for sandwich on sandwich bread. There's

45:11

an absolutely correct answer. What is the absolutely

45:13

correct answer of a sandwich on sandwich bread?

45:15

You cut on the, you cut once on

45:17

the diagonal. You absolutely cut it once on

45:19

the diagonal. Why is that the correct

45:21

answer? It just creates

45:23

a perfect mouth feel. Like you get these

45:26

pointy ends that are great. You also get

45:28

immediate access. If you're somebody who wants that

45:30

big central area where the bacon and tomato

45:32

and lettuce are all gathered with a good

45:35

glob of mayo, you get, go right,

45:37

right there. And

45:40

it gives you all sorts of choice about how you

45:42

eat it too. You can approach it from the points.

45:44

You're going to approach it from the center. And

45:47

it's also very satisfying to hold it that way. I

45:49

got in big trouble this morning because we were

45:51

at John's house and there were bagels and I,

45:53

instead of slicing the whole big, big, only

45:56

equator, you did not cut it on the equator. I

45:58

cut it in half. and then

46:00

cut in half. Oh my

46:02

God, I think that's totally fine. Wait,

46:06

did you wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

46:08

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me, I've got a

46:10

follow up question. Emily,

46:12

why did you do that? Okay. So I

46:15

did it first because I only wanted a

46:17

quarter of the bagel. Though of course then

46:19

I went back and had the other half

46:21

and then John. Welcome to bagel. Yeah,

46:24

wanted like, yeah. So I got, but

46:26

honestly the truth is really

46:28

what I would have done if I'd been at

46:30

my own house was just tear the bulb. I think

46:35

you, wait, he's a monster. That

46:39

word audible gas. I know.

46:41

Doesn't it, does anyone else out

46:43

there feel, please, there's got to be

46:45

someone that when

46:47

you're eating a roll or

46:50

any bread or like a loaf of

46:52

bread that hunks of bread just tastes

46:54

better than sliced bread. Yeah.

46:57

Yeah. But wait, wait, wait, you just said a

47:00

loaf, a loaf of bread. Well, I don't eat

47:02

the whole loaf. It's holla, like holla. Yeah, like

47:04

you grab some holla. If you have all these

47:06

nice uneven surfaces, you've maximized uneven surfaces. I think

47:08

I said anything. But you

47:11

can't do that. This is again, tragedy

47:13

of the common situation. You cannot do this

47:15

in someone else's house, namely the different. I

47:17

didn't. Well, I didn't. You bought like all

47:19

this beautiful locks for us. No,

47:21

I didn't grab, I didn't do this

47:23

this morning. I just cut it wrong. I

47:25

mean, Emily, the reason I asked why you

47:27

did it was because there is

47:30

a scenario in which you didn't want to

47:32

do a whole thing to the bagel, right?

47:35

You maybe wanted to like dip

47:37

it in some cream cheese, right?

47:40

Like, I mean, I think there are like,

47:42

yeah, the bagel as vehicle for

47:44

other parts of the spread, I

47:47

think you don't need to cut a bagel in half for that.

47:50

And you don't want to bother with a utensil. You

47:52

can you're at a friend's house. You can

47:54

be mildly primitive about your bagel

47:56

eating experience. The key is the

47:59

mildly part. I don't think

48:01

that if it's the least the three of

48:03

you and an is that right? I mean

48:05

you're among friends It's fine. It

48:08

wasn't fine Truly

48:14

I mean there I'm

48:16

I'm evenly split between this

48:18

is ridiculous and I understand

48:22

But I want to come back to this sandwich

48:24

question. Yeah, okay I think

48:26

that you know one of the

48:28

experiences that I have as a person who does oh

48:30

wait I have to say I was gonna say this

48:32

like everybody knows I have to

48:34

say something that's important which is I Don't

48:38

like sandwiches. I know

48:40

now His

48:42

better or worse than not liking em again.

48:44

There are way worse things. I don't like

48:47

So thing about a sandwich is it's

48:49

a real crapshoot Because

48:52

you know if you're making the sandwich you

48:54

have a lot of control if somebody

48:56

else is doing and most of the time You

48:58

get a sandwich made you can't see it get

49:00

made and so I

49:02

don't want to be micromanaging my

49:04

sandwich creation Because those people

49:06

I mean to quote the company some of these

49:08

people really are sandwich artists But

49:13

I don't like their art all the time

49:15

and is that because when you eat the

49:17

sandwich You can't get all the things in

49:19

the base. I want everything on the sandwich

49:22

in every bite. Yeah, that's hard people

49:25

They're making 25 sandwiches. I mean it's a

49:27

hard job Like

49:29

pleasing new making sandwiches for us

49:32

This terrible worst job ever, but

49:35

people are good at and some of them really love it. I

49:39

Would just rather I'm like

49:41

everything should kind of be a burrito Is

49:44

my feeling I I don't think

49:46

sandwich advice from a man who starts by saying

49:48

I don't really like sandwiches so I Let's

49:56

do well, we'll each do you guys

49:58

each do one more question And then we're going to

50:00

do a lightning round, and then we'll do our slate plus. What

50:04

would you do if a time traveling Genghis

50:06

Khan showed up at your front door? Assume

50:09

you can understand each other's language up

50:12

to weather, up to you,

50:14

whether to assume he has his hoard with

50:16

him. And I got one

50:18

more. What about a time traveling Jesus

50:20

Christ? This is a David

50:23

Platts question. I know. I didn't even realize

50:25

that before I started. That's

50:27

a good question. Well, I

50:29

mean, first of all, what would I do? I'd

50:31

be like, yo, I have some news from the future.

50:34

There is a possibility. Timothy Chalamet is going to

50:36

play you in a movie. Let's start out

50:38

here. Is

50:42

that true? Why not? Who

50:46

wants to see him play Willy Waka? I think it's

50:48

more like a Jason Momoa. That's what you hope. Genghis

50:50

Khan or Jesus Christ? Isn't Timothy

50:52

Chalamet more the Jesus figure? Timothy

50:54

Chalamet would definitely do Jesus. Have you been to

50:57

Hollywood? Can I show you a hundred years

50:59

of movies? They don't care what

51:01

he actually looks like anyway. OK. What

51:05

would you do? I don't really. I would really

51:07

want to interview Jesus. That seems like a great

51:10

opportunity. I have a lot of questions. I

51:12

was focused on the Genghis Khan and his hoards part.

51:14

But yes, the hoards are. I would. Barbara Walters, Jesus.

51:16

But would you would you call the cops? Would you

51:18

be like, there's a hoard out

51:22

here? I mean, not unless they were like, would you try

51:24

to would you try to interview him? Would you try to

51:26

have a conversation? I would definitely try to talk to Gary

51:28

Plots is out here trying to get me to say

51:30

I would care in Genghis Khan. Great.

51:35

You're the guy who called the cops on Genghis Khan.

51:39

It was me. That's

51:41

the one time when you're allowed to call

51:43

the police is if the hoard of marauders

51:45

from the whatever century is at your door.

51:48

It's the only time which don't

51:50

call the cops on Jesus. Definitely not.

51:53

Department would do the best job. Yeah. Dealing

51:55

with Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan, huh? LAPD.

52:00

the 80s probably. Yeah listen early 90s that's

52:06

who I'm that's what I would relocate

52:08

to. I mean hey guys I've

52:11

got another house across the country knock

52:14

on that door. Wesley give

52:16

us one more. What's

52:23

the worst thing you like

52:25

or if you prefer what's the best

52:27

thing you can't stand this is from

52:30

Chuck Tarrick. Oh I love

52:32

this question. You go first. Alright I'll do both.

52:34

So the worst thing I like is golf which

52:36

is morally

52:39

reprehensible. I love golf and I really

52:41

love watching golf on TV. Same. Love

52:44

it. Never played it in

52:46

my life I love watch but it's

52:49

hard we can act parenthetically is it

52:51

not hard to watch it now that

52:53

it really has just become more blatantly

52:55

politics than it previously ever was. And

52:57

yet do I still watch it? I

52:59

do. It's just really not I

53:01

don't feel good about it. I really don't feel good about it. The

53:04

wonderful thing that I can't stand is theater.

53:08

It's play. I don't like going

53:10

to plays. All

53:13

theater? All plays. I like musical.

53:16

There's a guy who lives in DC. That's

53:20

on a stage. Emily.

53:25

I'm trying to be honest here. Let's

53:27

see you. No I'm gonna say the

53:29

Knicks. The

53:32

worst thing I like. I mean

53:36

that's easy. And

53:39

the best thing I can't

53:41

stand. Oh I think I just

53:43

told you with sandwiches. I'm still thinking

53:47

about the first one but the best

53:49

thing I don't like is

53:51

listening to live jazz.

53:55

Oh I'm with you yes. Wes

53:58

is never gonna speak to us again. So

54:00

I fall asleep every time, Leslie. I'm

54:02

really sorry. Just absolutely the most- Who

54:05

are you watching? It doesn't matter. It

54:07

wouldn't matter. I swear to you. If

54:09

I took you to Kamasi, Washington

54:12

tomorrow... I mean, I hope.

54:14

I hope I could stay asleep. You would

54:16

fall asleep? I just, it's like, I don't

54:18

understand. Clearly it's a lack. It's ignorance on

54:20

my part. No, no, no, no. I

54:22

don't think, I don't believe in that,

54:24

actually. I truly do believe... The

54:27

smartest thing I ever heard somebody

54:29

say about watching movies came from

54:31

Nicole Kidman. And...

54:35

Was it in that commercial that ran before

54:37

all those AMC movies that she did? I

54:40

don't know what category- That was one of the

54:43

saddest things I've ever seen a smart person get

54:45

tricked into doing. I don't know

54:47

what the deal was. She hasn't been in a movie

54:49

that's been in a- Well, Aliqua Man, I guess. She

54:53

said- She was in the jury at Cannes a few

54:56

years ago. And she said- Somebody

54:58

was asking her about the grueling pace of watching

55:01

all the movies in order to judge the best

55:03

one for the palm door. And

55:05

she said something along the lines of,

55:08

you know, watching movies

55:11

is really about my

55:13

body rhythms and my moods. And

55:15

I just don't want to

55:17

be at a movie at 8am, because my body doesn't

55:19

want to be there. So that was the hardest thing

55:21

about being on the jury. I

55:23

think that there's some- And there's a

55:26

lot of science about the way we

55:28

respond to music, art, light.

55:31

And it could just be that- Time of day.

55:34

It just isn't your thing. Even if you grew

55:36

up in a house- Or it could be that it's always

55:38

at nighttime and I'd rather be sleeping. Or

55:40

it could be that I'm old. No. But

55:42

you didn't say- Did you ever like it? You don't

55:44

want to listen to- No, it's

55:47

pretty specific. Folk music or whatever. Alright,

55:50

we're going to do lightning

55:52

round. Lightning round. And then-

55:55

Thank you. Thank you. Okay.

56:00

jazz okay here we go if

56:02

you could save one from death

56:04

which would you choose a healthy 200 foot

56:06

500 year old tree or a small family of

56:08

monkeys I choose

56:10

the tree but I love the small part

56:13

of the question here there's something about that

56:15

that makes it harder but I totally choose

56:17

the old tree Wesley old tree old

56:19

tree yeah the other living things in the

56:22

tree that you're also saving there's families of

56:24

squirrels that live in that tree parenthetically am

56:26

I watching the monkeys die yeah you got

56:28

to yeah unfortunately

56:33

I'm still

56:35

gonna go with the tree okay all

56:39

right salt and pepper are

56:42

found on almost every restaurant table what third

56:44

item should join them I would

56:47

say chili I'm gonna

56:49

say chili oil still

56:54

family and family okay fancier

56:56

maybe if

56:59

you had to live in a store for the

57:01

rest of your life which store would it be Barney's

57:05

the old Barney's I live in the ghost of Barney's

57:07

for the rest of what would you eat the

57:10

clothes I

57:13

mean I would eat I mean there's so

57:15

many designers that made to put stuff on

57:17

the clothes I would just eat the knit

57:20

donut on a calm

57:22

day Garcon sweater yes

57:25

I would say

57:27

in Costco but

57:29

that's a better

57:32

answer yeah I

57:34

was torn between the Berkeley Bowl my favorite

57:36

supermarket ever and leap though at the Berkeley

57:38

Bowl yeah

57:41

I just yeah but also the

57:43

hardware store I mean if really

57:45

was forever and and if

57:47

they were feeding you you'd need all the things in

57:49

the hardware store but who's feeding you can I

57:51

just stop I know we're supposed to go

57:53

fast here but there's an important aspect to

57:55

the wording of this question that I want

57:57

to just stipulate it does not say there's a

58:00

apocalypse and the only place you it's where

58:02

do you live I can go outside and

58:04

get a hot dog and come back in

58:06

and try on all the clothes I

58:09

can leave Barney's and

58:11

go back he has a play we were

58:13

about to eat in the Barney's although there

58:16

is a cafe or there was a cafe

58:18

RIP man but yes you can leave the

58:20

space to go out and do other stuff

58:22

you just have to come home and that's

58:25

where you live that's well

58:27

then you don't probably want to be so you

58:30

want to be entertained oh listen

58:32

I I will do a romper man you

58:34

want to live in a bookstore how's that

58:36

for a virtue signaling answer fair

58:40

well forget it all right all right

58:43

final lightning run question if you could inception

58:45

style replace the Roman Empire is something that

58:48

men think about every day what would you

58:50

replace it with Beyonce's

58:53

Renaissance that

58:55

seems like a good way I'm gonna

58:57

make that person make make them and think

58:59

about that all day I like

59:01

that I think that's good do you believe

59:06

this about the very time like somebody brings a

59:08

story up you believe it we had

59:10

the guy we had this Roman Empire

59:12

podcast on and every

59:15

he claims everyone does think about the Roman Empire all

59:17

the time I think about the

59:19

Roman Empire a lot why what

59:22

do you think about it all I mean what

59:24

do you want what do I think

59:26

about I think about how close are we like it

59:28

is it is it the same or you know is

59:30

it are we at the end of a cycle

59:33

of history where we two are about

59:35

to you know we've lived this siberitic

59:37

hedonistic life it was such pleasures and

59:40

such wealth and such prosperity and yet

59:42

at the door or was there a

59:44

demographic breakdown of who was into thinking

59:46

about the Roman Empire also

59:50

yeah I'd like to know

59:52

those number two because you know what I'm not

59:55

thinking about yeah the Roman Empire I'm ready to

59:57

move on That's

1:00:02

our show for today. The

1:00:06

GAP Fest is produced by

1:00:08

Shayna Roth. Our researcher is Julie

1:00:10

Hugin. Jared Downing produced

1:00:13

tonight as well. Katie Rayford put

1:00:16

together this great show thanks to

1:00:18

the 92nd Street Y and

1:00:20

to the wonderful, beautiful audience

1:00:22

here. Our theme music is

1:00:24

by They Might Be Giants. Ben

1:00:26

Richmond is Senior Director of the Podcast Operations,

1:00:29

Alicia Montgomery with a VP of Audio at

1:00:31

Slate. We're Emily Baslott and

1:00:33

Wesley Morris, the incredibly game Wesley Morris. I'm David

1:00:35

Watt. Thanks for listening. Thank

1:00:56

you.