Granting forgiveness can seem to be a bitter pill to swallow. But I teach my clients that  rather than relinquishing power over the situation, forgiveness is actually taking back our power and control.

By not forgiving, not letting go of the past wrongs and transgressions against us, we keep ourselves trapped in a negative vortex of emotions, that enervate, burden and cripple us and prevent us from moving forward in life. This resistant energy eats us up inside, like a cancerous growth, making us sick emotionally, spiritually and even physically. In terms of quantum physics and the law of attraction a negative, angry or vengeful disposition attracts more of the same from others. We allow more events and people in our lives that perpetuate the cycle of wrongdoing, insult and injury.  Moreover, continually focusing on past wrongs robs us of peace of mind and calm in the present moment and our ability to create positive momentum in our life. It obfuscates our ability to think and act clearly, to be expansive and true to our innate nature of compassion and love – because we are made in God’s image.  Hence, in forgiving we reclaim our power to be at peace, to be at one with ourselves, to be in control, not acceding to the negative emotions of anger, resentment, bitterness or fear.

On the other side of the coin is forgiveness of self. Sometimes self-forgiveness can be more challenging than forgiveness of others.

I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him - CS Lewis.

So remember to forgive is a powerful act of God that we can pay forward to ourselves and others. By forgiving we can enjoy healthier relationships and improved emotional, mental and physical health. It reduces stress, anxiety, hostility and the risk of depression. It lowers blood pressure and boosts our immune system, our heart health and our self-esteem.

I conclude with the following powerful quote by Lewis B Smedes:

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.