A restless businessman once came into Buddha’s assembly, walked straight to him and spat at Buddha. He was furious that his children who could have spent their time earning money, sat with Buddha instead, with their eyes closed. Buddha merely smiled at him. There was no word, no reaction. The man walked away in a huff, shocked. He could not sleep all night. For the first time in his life, he met someone who smiled when he was spat at. His whole world had turned upside down.

The next day he went back to Buddha, fell at his feet and said, “Please forgive me! I didn’t know what I did.” But Buddha said, “No! I cannot excuse you!” Everyone in his assembly was taken aback! Buddha said, “Why should I forgive you when you have done nothing wrong?”

The businessman reminded him of what he did on the previous day. Buddha simply replied, “Oh that person is not here now. If I ever meet the person you spat on, I’ll tell him to excuse you. To this person here, you’ve not done any wrong.”

Compassion is not saying, “I forgive you.” Your forgiveness should be such that the person who is forgiven, does not even know that you are forgiving them. They should not even feel guilty about their mistake. This is real compassion.

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