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[music]

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We live in a world where competition

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is everywhere,

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but what if we broke the mold and instead

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focused on making each other look good,

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decentering ourselves,

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and centering others?

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Hi everyone, this is Jessica Beckendorf,

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and welcome

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to this week's Practicing

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Connection practicast,

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where we highlight a specific practice

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you can use in your life and work.

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In this series, we've been introducing

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practices from applied improvisation.

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During an improv performance,

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making your partner look

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good is an essential ingredient

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to making a scene sane.

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It requires us to be socially

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aware of our partner's needs

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and to take the focus off of ourselves,

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always lifting up our team members.

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Imagine if we did that

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for each other in daily life.

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That's what we'll be talking about today.

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I'm excited to introduce

0:57

Shannon Hughes as our guest again.

1:02

Shannon and I met

1:02

through an organization we both belong

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to called

1:04

the Applied Improvisation Network.

1:07

She's a facilitator and consultant

1:07

with a calling to nurture

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people-first company cultures

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in companies of all shapes and sizes.

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In her practice, Enlivened Studios,

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she brings strategic business mentorship

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and experiential teaching

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practices to incite easeful collaboration,

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and embolden transformational leadership.

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Shannon will be guiding us through the practice in a few minutes,

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but first, let's learn a little bit more about it.

1:32

Hi, Shannon. I'm so glad to have you back.

1:35

This is one of my favorite

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improv concepts.

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It's very pro-social,

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like so many improv concepts are.

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I'd like to start

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by asking you to describe

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what it means

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to make your partner look good on stage,

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and how that can translate to real life.

1:50

Thank you. Thank you,

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and I'm glad to be back again as well.

1:54

To me, making your partner

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look good is about inclusivity,

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interdependence, and even celebration.

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It's recognizing that every scene

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is better when we take

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the time to listen to one another, to acknowledge

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one another's contribution or ideas,

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and to yes-and

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those contributions and ideas.

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It's not just about grasping

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onto our own version of what's right.

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Trying to tell our own story

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and hold onto our own truth,

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but rather saying yes and listening

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to others' contributions.

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By the way, when I say scene here,

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I mean both scenes that are on stage,

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and in real life because let's be honest,

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like you said earlier,

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we are all professional improvisers.

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No one wakes up in the morning and finds

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a script on their bedside telling

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them everything they're going to say

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and every breath they're going to take, and every decision

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that they need to decide on that day.

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We're all professional improvisers. You could also argue

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that we're performing all the time,

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and this is not in a performative kind

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of way, so stay with me on this.

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It's that we are constantly finding

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ourselves in different performances,

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in different scenes,

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interacting with each other at home,

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at work, with friends.

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We even play different characters.

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We might play the character

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of the CEO when we're at work.

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We might play the busy mom

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when we're at home,

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or the best friend

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when we're consoling a friend.

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These are all kind of

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different performances

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and different scenes. On stage, making your partner look good,

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and in life,

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making your partner look good,

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is really about lifting up and elevating

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and celebrating your scene

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partner's contributions,

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their ideas, and what that exchange

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might be when you're living

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and communicating,

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and having dialogue,

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because when we do that,

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things run more smoothly. Wonderful characters

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are created and story unfolds,

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and everyone feels like they belong,

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like they matter.

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They're part of this thing

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that's being co-created together.

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This idea of acknowledging

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one another by saying,

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"I see you. Thank you, yes,"

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can be a really beautiful way

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of making your partner look good.

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I think when we get mired

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down and so busy in the work,

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we forget to pause

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for a second and thank people,

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so I'm excited to hear about that. You started to hint at this already,

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but what effect does

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this principle of making each other look

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good have on a team or a collaboration

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or even an organizational culture?

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Well, we've talked about

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interdependence and belonging.

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What a fabulous practice to take

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into the workplace or into community

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building efforts

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to inspire brainstorming

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or invite conversations

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around how things

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might be done differently,

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or more innovatively and better.

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If we shut our colleagues or our teammates

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down by shaming them

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or giving them a hard yes-but,

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or even a hard no, especially

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if that's done in front of others,

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can feel humiliating

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and definitely unmotivating.

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What happens then? Well, disengagement,

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lack of creative problem solving,

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and retention issues, quite honestly.

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The phrase is people don't leave

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companies, they leave managers.

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People don't leave companies,

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they leave cultures.

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Psychological safety,

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which is the idea of creating

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an environment in an organization

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or in any community

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where ideas are welcome

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and don't have any sort

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of punitive repercussion

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or voices are heard.

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Building that psychological safety,

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which is a term that was coined

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by Amy Edmondson,

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this idea

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of psychological safety is creating

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that safe and what I call

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brave space for people to be,

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I don't know, it's a little cliche to say, bring their whole self to work,

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but an iteration of that concept.

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To show up for who they are, and to create

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an environment where people feel

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like they can voice

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their thoughts and opinions.

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Making your partner

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look good only codifies that.

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To say, "Wow,

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I can speak up here and I'm acknowledged,

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and I'm even celebrated

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and shown gratitude

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for what I say and how I perform

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here because it's safe."

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This seems like a pretty big mindset shift

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in a culture that has supported

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individualism and survival

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of the fittest, competition.

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How can we reconcile or maybe bridge

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the difference between where we're at now

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in this individualistic space

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and what we can achieve together

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through making each other look good?

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Beautiful. Well, a couple things

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came to mind for me on this.

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The first one is transparency

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and authenticity.

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You could add vulnerability, the environment and the mindset shift

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that you've just described.

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I used to work in an environment like that

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where it was pretty individual.

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You kept your head down, got your work done, and it was survival of the fittest.

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In that situation, it was because culture

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came from the top down,

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and by the time it reached the doers,

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there wasn't much there.

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There certainly wasn't much

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transparency or authenticity,

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and employees lose their sense of why.

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The idea behind transparency,

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authenticity,

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and vulnerability as it relates to this mindset shift

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is also going to be included

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in my practice

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that I'm going to talk about in a second,

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but it's this idea of as a leader,

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and when I say leader,

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I don't mean somebody who's a high paying

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executive in the corner office,

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I believe that we're all leaders.

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Whatever that means

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in the context of this dialogue

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between a couple of people

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or a group of people,

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is to pull up a chair, pull up a stool,

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have a conversation with your team,

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talk about the elephant in the room,

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what's going right here?

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Where are our opportunities

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for improvement?

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What's a story as,

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let's say I'm the leader in that scenario,

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what's a story that I can tell

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with a degree of vulnerability

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that then opens the door for other people

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to share as well?

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Even doing that, although that's not explicitly

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"making your partner look good"

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it kind of is because I'm saying

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I'm human, listen to me and my story.

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Now what about you? It's passing the microphone or opening up

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the room for other people

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to share their own

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experiences for the sake of building

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psychological safety

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and a thriving culture.

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Another point

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that I would say for that shift is,

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and this is true

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of any culture building effort,

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is to make it co-creative.

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No employee anywhere wants

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to have some flashy words on a big sign

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in their entryway that says things like integrity and trust and creativity.

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[laughs] Three words separated by a period.

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Yes. Classic.

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It's some giant brand

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consultancy came up with which is,

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no shade on brand consultancies,

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but a good one, a good one,

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and a good leader will include

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the employees in that conversation.

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So much of this too is the third point

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I was going to make about values.

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If integrity,

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creativity are your corporate values,

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where did they come from? What do they mean?

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What are the behaviors

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and the routines that back

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that up on a day to day basis?

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How much did you invite

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the employees or the team members

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to be part of that conversation

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so everyone feels like

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they're aligned to it and they don't lose

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sense of that why,

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like we mentioned before, and all of that,

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you could kind of wrap in a big make

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your partner look good effort

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because you're saying,

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"Yes, I see you. I see you.

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Let's do this together."

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Well, I'm excited to hear the practice,

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or I think

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you have a collection of practices

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and some guidance for people.

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Let's get into that. As I had just mentioned a minute ago,

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culture and values are just

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concepts until there are systems,

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practices, rituals, routines,

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norms that are put

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behind those values and that culture.

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And so often, and so unfortunately often,

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organizations do half the work,

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and then some of it just sits

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on a shelf or on a website somewhere.

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It's that operationalizing

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and systematizing

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that really upholds

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that very important work.

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I use the word system intentionally here,

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especially with this first

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point I'm going to make,

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which is to set up

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a system for recognition and celebration.

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Where does recognition and celebration

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show up in your mid-year review?

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Where does it show up

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in your weekly Tuesday all-staff meeting?

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When does the CEO

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or the team leader come out

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from behind their office door

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and sit amongst the team and grab

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lunch together and talk

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about the highlights

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of what the team has succeeded

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in doing versus,

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we often gravitate

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towards what's gone wrong.

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It's really systematizing

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some of that and putting it into practice.

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I make this silly joke

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that leaders are supermodels.

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What I mean by that is, as a leader,

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it's so important to model

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the behavior that you want to see.

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You have to be the change you want to see.

11:53

It starts with you.

11:57

You, maybe it's even setting

11:57

an alarm on your phone to do these things,

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to make sure that recognition,

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feedback, celebration is pervasive,

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and that you invite employees

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to do that for one another, too.

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The other one is check-ins,

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because so often, meetings, especially,

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people have had a whole day before them

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and probably

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have a whole evening ahead of them.

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Taking a moment to check in and not just,

12:20

"How's everybody doing,"

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but come up with maybe

12:25

a short list of five exercises

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or prompts to get people

12:29

in their body and in the moment

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so that they feel like they're present

12:34

to what's happening there,

12:37

and allow that too, to potentially

12:37

include shoutouts to people,

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to congratulate people. I have a practice that I use

12:46

in my morning journaling.

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Not every day, but every now and again,

12:51

I just write down things

12:51

that I'm proud of,

12:54

things that I'm celebrating. Because again, we're so wired to think

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about the things that haven't gotten done.

13:00

All of those can be seen

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as making your partner look good,

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because you're really patting

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the back of people

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that you work with and saying,

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"I've got you. I see you. Well done."

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One more thing that just came to me. Don't be afraid to talk to strangers.

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What I mean by that is,

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the person bagging your grocery,

13:21

the gentleman walking

13:21

down the street whose shoes you like,

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the children who are very clearly behaving

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while their mom is at the grocery store.

13:30

Just that one second to say,

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"Hey, man, I love your shoes.

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You're looking really dapper today." Oh, my gosh,

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that can change someone's entire day.

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As humans, we get embarrassed. "Oh, I don't want to say anything,"

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but imagine the impact if you just say,

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"I really like your haircut,"

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or, "Thank you for your work today."

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That's making your partner look

13:52

good because we're all partners, right?

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We're all just same

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partners living the dream, right?

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To see somebody and say something

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that's nice about them is so uplifting,

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and it can have huge ripple effect.

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I love that. Thank you so much.

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This collection

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of practices that you shared

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with us today

14:12

are all super simple to implement.

14:16

As I mentioned before, this is one of my favorite

14:17

improv principles,

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and I really enjoyed your perspective

14:20

on it in our conversation today.

14:24

Thank you, Jessica. I loved sharing.

14:26

Well, that's it for this episode.

14:28

Thanks so much for joining us. You can keep up

14:30

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14:33

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14:36

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14:36

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14:39

Visit oneop.org/practicingconnection

14:39

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14:43

If you have questions, ideas,

14:43

or feedback for the show,

14:46

you can email us

14:46

at [email protected].

14:50

We'll be back next week with another applied

14:51

improvisation practice

14:53

to help you break the mold called Noticing Offers and Seeing Them as Gifts.

14:58

Until then, keep practicing.

15:01

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15:01

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15:04

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15:05

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