I didn't plan for this episode to be released right before Thanksgiving. It just happened. Based on the order of episodes I recorded and how the days fell, today was the day it ended up being released. This is interesting, because it feels like the perfect episode to post right before Thanksgiving. I never strive to play God, and I don't know what you need. But this is a message that I think many people would find useful, especially as we gear up to see our families for the holidays. So...cool timing.

A few months back, I was doing yoga. A song I had never heard before began to play. It struck me deep. I'm not sure if it was the melody, the lyrics, both, or something else, but it hit a part of me that obviously needed to be released. In what felt like an instant, I began to mourn the loss of my mom.

The mourning felt like a tidal wave and grew intense. I cried, I felt, and it seemed was like I was being split open fast. Here's the interesting thing....my mom is still alive.

Through the experience, I learned that this 'simulated grief' (as I call it), an unpleasant emotion, can turn into pleasant emotions such as gratitude, love, and presence...if simply felt. Through feeling the grief, I saw how not present I was in my relationships. I couldn't imagine losing my mom. Visualizing it and feeling it (to the extent that I could) made me desire just one more moment with her, to which that moment I would give my everything, my full love, my full presence. The realization that she was still alive felt like a 'rebirth' or second chance, which created this intense gratitude for life and for her. It also created the desire to to be present in the future moments I have with her. Not distracted, not on my phone, not shut off, not thinking about other things, but there with her...in mind, body and spirit. That felt like such a rich gift.

Through this experience, I learned that I need to feel the bad in order to gain access to the good. If I don't have the courage to feel the bad to get to the good, I remain stuck in a state where I do not feeling anything. This is where I have been for most of my life. Numb is not ideal. Numbness hurts.

The unproductive defense mechanism I have been conditioned to use to deal with the hard parts of life is to shut off. Now, I use this 'simulated grief' practice when I feel like I need to be 'cracked open.' Sometimes, the practice still finds me unexpectedly like it did the first time. Tune in to hear the full story and learn about it.

Oh, and a Happy (early) Thanksgiving to you and yours! If you listen in, I hope the episode inspires you to create a moment of presence with someone you love. Life is short, and it never seems like we get enough of those.

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