1:59

Yeah, yeah, it just still looks right, and

2:02

it's horrible. It's

2:05

horrible, so. That's what I do too. It's just I

2:07

buy. You should relearn. Bulk shitty

2:09

coffee, and yeah. Buy Dunkin',

2:12

buy the like, you

2:13

know, gallon of grounds. Do you personally

2:16

like it though? Are you happy with the coffee you've made?

2:18

It's fine. It's

2:21

like even when I buy the good shit, there's a great

2:23

grinder, roaster, roaster more

2:25

than grinder. I guess I grind it, but a roaster

2:28

here in Joshua Tree and whenever I get like

2:30

a cup there, it's great. When I buy the beans

2:33

and grind it and make it, it's good, but like

2:36

when they brew it, it's just bad. I'm like, what am I doing wrong?

2:38

It's just fucking hot water over the shit

2:40

that they're giving me. Yeah. Is it just

2:42

hot water though? They probably have it to the degree.

2:45

Coffee people are like that, yeah.

2:47

Yeah, and they use like filter. They're very

2:49

intense about the water. Right.

2:53

And you know, I do the same thing every day where

2:55

it's like pot of coffee and then eventually

2:58

it goes in the fridge and then that's my cold brew for the night.

3:01

Is that all cold brew is? It's just cold coffee.

3:03

I've never had that. No, it's no. It's iced coffee.

3:06

Technically, it's iced coffee. Cold brew is supposed to be a different

3:08

thing because it's brewed cold.

3:10

Cold brew is literally brewed. Yeah, you literally

3:14

leave the water and the beans soaking

3:17

for all the time. It takes like a week. I

3:19

hate it. It's like a day, I think, isn't it? And

3:21

then you end up with very strong coffee. So

3:24

yeah, is it, you couldn't achieve

3:26

the same end result? Via traditional

3:29

brewing methods and then maybe just letting

3:31

it sit or something. It's

3:34

not going to ever get to that same place because of the amount

3:36

of time it's in contact, I guess. I

3:38

mean, we'll get emails about it, but I think you can. Well,

3:40

hey, if you're letting it sit, then it's no longer actually in contact

3:42

with the coffee. Right? Well, right. But

3:45

if it's just like a concentration thing, what if you let it sit and

3:47

then let's say you also like boiled

3:49

it off to make a coffee reduction or something.

3:52

I don't think it is just a concentration thing.

3:54

It's about how much of the caffeine and

3:56

the oils and

3:59

the other things. flavor, or molecules

4:02

or something. Yeah. Soak in exactly.

4:04

I'm going to posit very scientifically

4:06

that it's about vibes.

4:09

It's about vibes. It's definitely about vibes.

4:11

It is about vibes. Speaking

4:14

of vibes, bring in good vibes to the

4:16

podcast. Well, roll credits. How about

4:18

we roll a mini credits? Oh,

4:21

yeah. Probably

4:23

science.

4:24

Hello, and welcome to Probably

4:28

Science.

4:32

I'm

4:34

Andy Wood. I'm Jesse Case. I'm

4:37

Matt Kirshin. We had a little pre-roll there because we

4:39

got stuck into some coffee chats with our guest.

4:42

Someone I

4:43

did we first meet in Edinburgh or

4:45

in Canada? I can't remember exactly,

4:47

but someone I've known for a decent amount of time. An

4:49

extremely funny comic who has a brand

4:51

new album out right now

4:54

on 800-pound gorilla, which

4:56

is a great record label. It's

4:59

called Chooinean Attack Top, and that was the voice of

5:01

DeAnn Smith. Hey, DeAnn.

5:02

Hi. Hello, everybody. Matt,

5:06

I must have been, I feel like it was the UK

5:09

or

5:10

Australia. Do you frequent Australia?

5:13

I have done, but not that often. I

5:15

don't think we met there. I feel like

5:17

we, I feel like it was at the Edinburgh Festival,

5:20

maybe. It's very possible. I don't

5:22

know. It's lost in the midst of time. At least for

5:24

the last seven years, every, like, annually

5:26

you'll shoot me a text. We'll try to make this happen,

5:28

and we haven't been able to. So I'm so glad

5:31

that it's happening. I'm so happy.

5:32

We were at the 2019 Perth

5:34

Festival by any chance? Perth Fringe? I

5:37

mean, it is, oh, 2019? Fuck,

5:41

I'm not sure. I was going to say it's well within the realm

5:43

of possibility, but I can't remember now.

5:45

But I have been to Perth a bunch. We were doing

5:47

this show live there, contemporaneous

5:49

with, if that's the right word. At the

5:51

same time that festival is going on, not part of the festival, but.

5:54

Ah. Did you love

5:56

Perth? I think we kind of snuck into the festival.

5:58

I think we. Yeah, that's right. We

6:00

backdoored our way into the festival. But

6:03

yeah, it's yeah, Perth is I'd never been to Perth

6:06

before because it is a mission.

6:08

Oh, yeah, it's so far away. And thanks

6:11

to the extreme kindness of one of

6:13

our listeners and NMR miles, we managed

6:16

to get across the country because

6:17

it is.

6:18

Yeah, we were doing other shows in on

6:21

the more accessible

6:23

cities of Australia. And we were

6:25

like, we can't justify doing the five

6:27

hour flight across the country to it

6:30

really like is the isn't the most remote major city in the

6:32

world. It's

6:35

something like that. Like it depends how you do those two variables,

6:37

I think. But yeah, yeah,

6:39

something like that is this, you know, the city that

6:41

is furthest away from any other city. Yeah, but it

6:44

was really cool. I described it as Australia's Denver,

6:46

which I think is pretty accurate. Isn't

6:49

that would you agree? Oh, that's so interesting.

6:52

Yeah, I haven't really thought about that. I

6:54

have not spent a ton of time in Denver yet

6:56

just at the airport. And then I and then

6:58

I scooted to Fort Collins. But I

7:01

could see that.

7:01

They just mean that the sushi

7:04

is dangerous. That's what they do. If

7:08

if Melbourne is San Francisco, which I think I

7:10

sort of agree with and I think

7:13

Melbourne is San Francisco. Sydney is kind of is

7:15

San Diego, I think. Sydney is not

7:18

L.A. and New York of the country. Don't

7:20

they have to have an L.A. or New York as a country

7:22

or not? I mean, OK, let it be Sydney. Let

7:24

it be its own thing. You know,

7:26

that's so interesting. I've always done it Canadian.

7:29

So I'm like, Sydney is Toronto. Melbourne

7:32

is Montreal.

7:32

Oh, oh, wait.

7:35

I thought Melbourne would have been within what's

7:37

Vancouver in Australia. Maybe that's

7:39

a really good. That's a really good point.

7:42

But Melbourne is Vancouver and Montreal, just

7:44

the coolest cities. And

7:46

then Sydney is the business city.

7:48

Are you Deanna? Are you are you Canadian?

7:51

Yeah, you know what? I can finally say yes

7:53

to that. For very many years, I was just a

7:55

Canadian resident and an American

7:57

citizen. I was born in the United States of America.

7:59

America. I didn't know that. Yes,

8:02

you would have thought I was Canadian. I had you

8:04

down as pure Canadian. Oh, I love it.

8:06

Yes. That's my heart. That's my spirit. But finally,

8:09

finally, I'm a for real, for real Canadian

8:12

citizen. You can tell by how I'm always

8:14

demanding the best. I

8:16

feel like someone made that joke in Edinburgh ages ago

8:19

about how Americans show up anywhere and they're like, but what's

8:21

the best, what's the best drink you have?

8:23

What's the best thing on the menu? And

8:25

that really stuck with me. I think that's such a great

8:27

way to describe Americans.

8:29

Yeah, I'm, I'm

8:31

the reverse of, I

8:34

think I'm the reverse of that. I was born in Kingston,

8:36

Ontario, and then

8:38

I was a

8:39

dual citizen forever. And,

8:42

um, you know, I think

8:45

I don't even, I should probably

8:47

like know what country I'm a citizen of. There's

8:49

probably, I should look into that.

8:51

Where's your passport? Are you rocking

8:53

too? I'm rocking too. But like,

8:55

I can vote here. I mean,

8:58

I vote in the States, I pay taxes

9:00

here and stuff, but I also have a social insurance

9:02

number. I know that Canada, um,

9:05

yeah, I don't know. I

9:07

don't know what's going on. I don't know. I

9:10

like that. I don't know. That's how I generally

9:12

feel about like residency and taxes. I'm

9:14

just like, it's too complicated.

9:18

I'm always down. If someone just tells me what

9:20

to do, uh, I

9:23

don't understand why that is also, it's,

9:27

I don't know. Uh, I'm

9:29

not, I'm, I'm, I'm very pro, uh,

9:32

like I'm, I'm into taxes if it's

9:34

being used for good purposes. You know what I'm saying? Uh,

9:36

I'm into it. Um, I

9:39

think it's absurdly difficult,

9:41

which is stupid because that's like the

9:44

one part the government wants.

9:50

And I, I've, I've bitched about this before as well,

9:52

but I think it's the, it's the cruelest thing that people

9:55

in our line of work who are

9:57

generally the least able to do paperwork.

10:00

and admin have the most. No,

10:02

no, I mean, it's like, yeah, thank

10:05

you. Like a professional,

10:07

a professional accountant, an account,

10:09

like they're an amateur, but like someone who is

10:11

an accountant for a living has incredibly

10:14

easy tax returns because they normally work for a

10:16

company and they just go like, this is how much I earned.

10:19

These are my couple of deductions

10:21

done.

10:22

Whereas we're like, all right, how many states did we

10:24

work in? All right, I also did a gig in France.

10:26

How does that work now with a French tax system?

10:29

Reciprocal arrangements. I kind of view it like

10:33

a huge pet peeve of mine is when you go out

10:35

to eat and then it takes

10:37

forever to get the bill.

10:39

Because it's, Oh

10:41

yeah. That's my least favorite thing

10:43

in a restaurant experience is a slow

10:46

check drop because it's like, okay,

10:49

everything up until then has been a massive

10:51

bummer for the restaurant,

10:53

right? This is the payout. This is the part you wanna

10:55

get to if you're that restaurant. This is where

10:58

you get the reward for putting

11:00

up with me. And then-

11:02

The restaurants had to go to all these expenses. The

11:05

staff members have had to be

11:07

weirdly subservient to a stranger.

11:10

And the one thing they get is money. This

11:12

is the part you want. And then it's taking forever,

11:15

but it's illegal if I leave.

11:17

Like I can't, it's a crime.

11:20

Do you feel like you feel ready

11:22

to bolt? I mean, if I'm enjoying the company,

11:24

I don't mind a slow check drop.

11:26

But they don't know that you are. Yeah.

11:29

And the answer is usually no. I mean, the answer

11:31

is no. I'm ready to bolt. And also I go

11:34

out to eat alone all the time and

11:36

I'm just ready to go. I'm just, I'm done. Let's

11:39

go. Let's get this going. And it's, to

11:41

me, it's like that with taxes. It's like, I'm

11:45

into it. Yeah. Just send me a bill. Just

11:47

send me a simple bill. I can pay it with,

11:49

you know, you call me- Well in America, there is good reason

11:52

why that's not the case. You're

11:54

aware that it's because of aggressive

11:56

lobbying efforts by the people

11:58

behind TurboTax the companies that

12:01

have basically fought

12:04

the ability of the government

12:06

to just send, because like you say, they

12:08

know, they know how much you're meant to be paying,

12:11

they could just tell you for the most part, they've got all the

12:13

information from various payments that have been declared,

12:16

you could just make a few corrections and send it in. But

12:18

because those companies make

12:21

hundreds of millions from selling these

12:23

products and services that you'd,

12:25

they have aggressively lobbied

12:28

to stop that from being allowed. Yeah, but

12:30

that's their, I don't know why the government allows

12:32

that, because that's their check drop.

12:35

Like taxes, it's like all year

12:37

I've been a fucking bummer. Like fix

12:39

this pothole, damn it, this fucking guy.

12:42

Like oh he- He's been my international interests.

12:45

Yeah, oh what, he wants national safety,

12:47

okay, what, he wants a fireman now, really?

12:49

He wants a fireman fucking fine.

12:52

And then this is the part where they're like,

12:55

anything for dessert? No, here you go.

12:57

They get to do that to me once a year and

13:00

it's a nightmare. It's like

13:02

if you had to make your own receipt at

13:04

the restaurant.

13:05

You know what I mean? You're

13:08

like- I also love how we're pretending

13:10

the US actually provides its citizens

13:13

with anything. I know, I'm

13:15

saying in theory, I realize that all of my money

13:18

is going towards a stealth bomber somewhere.

13:20

Yeah, I know that. I

13:24

know, I know. But it's like look, I

13:26

paid for that missile,

13:28

just at least make the bill easy. I

13:30

don't know. I

13:32

paid for these cluster bombs. Send

13:35

me a bill. Why

13:38

do I have to work this out? You know? I

13:42

have to figure out if these stamps were a business expense.

13:44

Fuck you, you got your missile. Just send

13:46

me the thing. It's also not just a restaurant

13:48

receipt that you have to work out yourself,

13:51

but if you get it wrong, you go to prison. Right,

13:53

right. It's amazing. Right.

13:56

And there's no menu. It's with no menu.

13:59

You don't even have a thing.

13:59

to look at. So much of taxes

14:02

are... How much

14:04

should a slice of chocolate cake have been worth? Like

14:06

what do we think it should have been? Right.

14:09

Yeah. How

14:11

much of this burger actually contributed to my hunger?

14:16

It's the prices right with jail.

14:19

That's what it is. Can

14:21

we stay there for a moment? How much

14:23

do you think a slice of chocolate cake

14:25

should be worth?

14:27

I'm going to say for my enjoyment,

14:29

for the trouble of what it is to get chocolate and

14:32

just the sheer beauty of it, one piece

14:34

of chocolate cake, easily $500. Oh

14:38

wow. Okay. I was

14:41

going to say three, but okay. Yeah, five letters. Okay.

14:45

We're in the hundreds at least. I'm of the firm. No,

14:47

I was going to say $3. No. Oh, $3. Okay.

14:51

All right. I'm sort of of the firm, like everything

14:53

is seven bucks. Everything

14:56

should be seven bucks. Just everything, like

14:59

an omelet, whatever, like

15:02

everything is seven bucks and then you're

15:04

just adding flash

15:06

or cutting corners. You

15:08

know what I mean? I mean, I love that idea.

15:11

Like you're serving it to me on a fancy square plate

15:13

and charging $20 for it, or you're cutting corners

15:16

and charging me five bucks, but it's $7.

15:20

Everything's seven. Everything is $7. Mm-hmm.

15:23

You know? I'm going to put that on my taxes and

15:25

I'm going to go to prison soon.

15:27

I'm like, look, it's seven

15:29

bucks, right? Come on. Come on guys.

15:32

We all know this. DeAnn, before

15:35

we get into stories, we always like to ask our guests

15:38

what, if anything, is your background in science.

15:40

And that has ranged from classes

15:43

you liked or hated as a kid to blowing stuff up in

15:45

the woods with your friends to whatever.

15:47

Oh wow. Okay. I

15:49

didn't know this question was coming. So what is my background in

15:51

science? It is not strong.

15:54

I will say that. I think

15:56

I have a natural love for science and

15:59

not a natural.

15:59

mind for it. So I

16:02

just believe what people

16:05

tell me. Do you know what I mean? I mean scientists.

16:07

I do try to get my sources. I do

16:09

try to read the right articles. If

16:12

I had to, yeah I mean if I had

16:14

to

16:14

like right now for myself prove that the earth

16:21

is round I couldn't do it. I

16:24

couldn't do it.

16:25

Well I don't know if I could

16:27

quickly. Yeah it's kind of difficult.

16:30

I mean I can look at the horizon. I can see that it bends

16:33

a bit. I don't know if you

16:35

can at the horizon actually. You

16:37

can see ships disappearing below the

16:40

horizon as they go out into the distance.

16:44

Necessary but not sufficient to prove the roundness.

16:47

But you can also put a

16:50

couple of sticks vertically in the ground a distance

16:52

apart and see how different the shadow is

16:54

between the two. But then

16:56

also like just but then the knowledge

16:59

about the shadow. Basically I'm

17:02

more of a vibes and poetry kind

17:04

of guy but I

17:06

also like I love science.

17:08

I've never understood. I've

17:11

really never understood like the

17:13

well it's I could stop the sentence at the Christian right

17:16

but I mean the

17:18

the kind of false

17:21

dichotomy or rivalry

17:24

between like science and spiritualism

17:27

or science and awe at the

17:29

natural wonder and beauty of the world. It's

17:31

like in my mind these things go hand in hand.

17:33

Like the more you know the more

17:36

fascinating and

17:38

kind of mysterious everything is. Sure.

17:41

Yeah. Sure like cake prices. Cake

17:43

prices. I don't

17:47

know you're like I honestly I can't prove the shape

17:51

of the planet. Cake should be five hundred dollars.

17:54

This is going to be a weird episode.

17:59

No, I get what you're saying. I agree with that. Like,

18:02

I think

18:03

a star at night looks beautiful

18:05

and amazing. But if you also know that it is

18:08

a ludicrous distance away and it's

18:10

a massive, like the

18:12

most immense ball of nuclear fusion,

18:15

it's like that's I think that is more impressive

18:18

and more wondrous.

18:18

It's even more amazing.

18:20

Yeah. Not

18:22

a strong background, but a love in my heart,

18:25

I will say that. Excellent.

18:29

Excellent. Yeah, it's it's strange

18:31

that you'd have to have a simpler explanation to

18:33

make things more wondrous, as opposed to

18:35

like more complex should

18:37

be more impressive. I think that's something that

18:40

annoys me so much just within science

18:42

of like the science porn

18:45

sort of tweets that are made

18:47

up.

18:48

Where it's like more. What if I've fallen

18:51

for some of these? Um. What's

18:55

the I mean, it

18:57

happens all the time. Where some. Yeah.

18:59

Fun facts like a lot of fun facts are not

19:03

true. Neither fun or fact. You're right.

19:05

Are neither fun nor fact. But it's also

19:07

like kind of pointless

19:09

because the truth is just as insane.

19:12

You could just say that because it's a very low stakes.

19:16

Trying

19:18

to think of a good example. You

19:22

know, something like I don't know what

19:24

was that thing recently? This isn't science more a history

19:26

thing, but it was how like Johnny

19:29

Cash like stopped the Cuban Missile

19:31

Crisis or something. Because

19:34

he was on it, you know, but it's like, no, he just worked

19:36

at an air base

19:38

during like and that's fine.

19:40

You don't have to you don't have to like go all

19:42

out and make stuff stupid. Right. Yeah.

19:45

Like there's like Hedy Lamarr invented

19:47

cell phones like. No, but

19:50

she also did some cool shit. Right.

19:53

Right. So there's all sorts of weird stuff like that.

19:55

Like it'll just be some fact about dolphins

19:58

or something where it's like, well, dolphins are already.

19:59

Like it's incredible. It's incredible.

20:02

You don't have to make up that they can pick up wifi. Like

20:06

I don't know. They are sexually deviant.

20:08

And isn't that enough? Isn't that enough?

20:11

Yeah. Dolphin rape cave enough to know about. The

20:15

dolphin what? Dolphin rape caves.

20:17

What's that? It's a kind of a voices

20:19

song. First of all, second of all, you don't,

20:22

like, you don't know about that. That could be a legend. Like

20:24

just underwater caves that they drag

20:26

you down to have their way with you.

20:28

Oh my God. I know that they're all about

20:31

doing what they want. I didn't see if this is totally apocryphal.

20:38

Google dolphin rape cave locations, Google

20:41

maps. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm

20:43

not touching. My Google is not touching that.

20:45

We run a clean computer here. Well,

20:49

okay. We got an Atlantic article about

20:52

can dolphins really commit rape? So

20:54

not in the Pacific. Um,

20:57

just cause it's peace, peaceful. I don't get the joke there.

20:59

It's an Atlantic article. Um, Oh,

21:02

okay. I thought specific means peaceful. I'm like,

21:04

I guess that's a joke. I was just in my mind, like

21:06

international waters. What is the law

21:08

out there? What is the sexual laws out there?

21:11

How much is cake out there? What's

21:14

going to be a cake off

21:16

the coast of Aruba? $700.

21:19

And then the ocean easily like $10,000. I

21:25

had a, I had a bit, I could never

21:27

get to work and, uh, don't,

21:30

I'm, don't worry. I'm not going to run it on anyone

21:32

here because it doesn't work. But

21:34

it was, it was about relative value about

21:36

how like, um, I've, uh,

21:39

camera should cost more than a car and

21:42

no one understood. Like I w

21:44

like no one ever got it. Yeah. I'm totally

21:46

with you. Yeah. Well, I'm with you. I'm with you on

21:48

the cake thing. Like I'm, I'm with it,

21:50

you know? Cause I w I was looking at a camera

21:53

to buy to, to do, this isn't the bit, this

21:55

just the background. Like I was, I was, I was

21:57

wanting to like start doing film stuff.

22:00

And a really good

22:02

camera would have cost more than my

22:04

car because it was a

22:06

crappy car. And everyone's

22:10

like, well that's insane. That just makes

22:12

complete sense to me.

22:14

A camera should be like three times as much as a car. Like

22:16

a good camera based on what it, magic

22:22

versus a couch that goes where

22:24

you want. Yes, and it is capturing

22:26

the souls of the subjects you're shooting.

22:28

Yeah, no, I know, I know. I won't let

22:31

myself be photographed, no way. No way.

22:34

What is the theory, what is the spiritualist

22:36

theory on selfies then? Because

22:39

it's you. It's your own soul. It's you capturing

22:42

your own soul. Yeah, that's very interesting.

22:45

I have no idea. Yeah, is that like soul masturbation?

22:47

Like what is the? Something, yeah, something's going on. Hmm,

22:51

worth looking into.

22:52

Can you sit on your soul until it goes numb? And

22:55

it. Yeah, yeah.

22:58

Guys,

23:02

I feel like, I feel really like one

23:04

of the boys to have gotten that reference. I'm

23:06

feeling great. Well,

23:08

hold on

23:09

now. You're no stranger to this concept.

23:11

Yeah, yeah. But is, is

23:13

the, oh, it's called the stranger.

23:16

I thought it was called the ghost.

23:18

Is it the stranger? Wouldn't

23:20

that work for anyone

23:22

doing anything with hands? Yeah, yeah,

23:25

it could. If it's something that

23:27

you didn't want to have, feel like it was

23:29

your own hand, but I don't know what else would fall

23:31

into that category. Well, I'm saying

23:33

across the masturbation spectrum.

23:35

Yeah, right, right, right, right. I'm saying

23:38

I don't know why it's male specific, the stranger,

23:41

as a urban

23:43

legend trick that everyone tries

23:46

once and it's horrible. I think you guys

23:48

just talk about it more and or potentially

23:51

historically, now I'm just making shit up. That's

23:54

fine, that's fine. We have had less accoutrement.

23:57

Like it's a little maybe

23:59

more.

23:59

It's not, no, is it? I'm just talking

24:02

to this here. Is it more normalized? I mean, women have

24:04

vibrators and other things that

24:06

kind of. Yeah, that's definitely, yeah, no one, that's an

24:08

audience. But you guys would also have, I guess all the stuff you

24:10

have is just kind of gross. No one,

24:12

no one's like, you go boy when they hear about the flesh

24:14

that you bought. Yeah, it's not like. Exactly, exactly.

24:17

Well, because I feel like the

24:19

penis as an organ, as

24:22

a sexual organ, is not only

24:24

extremely easy to

24:25

emulate, but very easy to make

24:28

better. With machinery.

24:31

Like add some spinning beads on there. It's

24:33

all sorts of stuff where it's like, it's so simple

24:35

and stupid as an organ. It's like,

24:38

we can not only make this, but

24:40

make it so much better than any penis

24:42

could ever be. And the

24:45

vagina as a sex organ has yet to be replicated.

24:48

It's like we have a flashlight you can fuck.

24:51

Yeah, okay, but wait, if you could improve

24:53

upon it, how

24:57

would you? What can you think of?

24:59

Would like a wildly different

25:01

temperature be fun? I truly have no idea. Temperature

25:04

variations could be fun. Definitely.

25:07

White hot spots. Yep,

25:10

absolutely. Some sort of Bluetooth

25:12

situation. It blasts a song when

25:14

you're, I mean.

25:16

Ah, okay, yeah. So it's

25:18

more of a game. Positive affirmations. Yes. Yeah,

25:20

I mean, I know a game, definitely. Game of play it. I

25:22

don't know. That's always the secret to tech.

25:24

Yeah, I don't know. I just mean, we haven't

25:26

even hit that original bar yet. The inventors

25:29

of these things. Haven't

25:31

even hit the basic. While

25:33

the penis was like literal stone

25:35

age, they found stuff where they're like, yeah,

25:38

this does the same thing. As good as that.

25:40

Yeah,

25:41

and we're still trying to, you

25:44

know. Yeah,

25:46

you have to venture pretty far to replicate

25:49

or try to improve upon a vagina. You're

25:51

like, okay, warm apple pie.

25:56

This is a very good point.

25:57

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

25:59

But it's perhaps the same

26:02

as that it's been studied

26:04

less, probably by male-driven

26:06

science or egocentric science. It probably

26:09

hasn't been studied as much,

26:11

just as like how can we replicate this. And

26:14

you think it would be? You think that would be

26:17

the number one goal? You think it would be the number

26:19

one, that would have been my, you know. I

26:21

mean it would have been difficult. I

26:25

wish there was as much history

26:27

of

26:29

fleshlight sort of things as there

26:31

are dildos. You know, because

26:34

you'll see the history of dildos

26:36

and it's like some ancient Egyptian thing and then

26:38

a Neanderthal petrified cucumber and

26:41

all sorts of stuff. But I would. But

26:43

also then that comes down to a material science issue as well,

26:45

doesn't it? It's really material science, yeah. I know, but I would love

26:47

to see. you generally want something harder

26:50

is generally better than softer.

26:52

Whereas if you're trying to replicate a vagina, you

26:54

want the opposite. I would say within history,

26:57

it has been easier to make

27:00

hard things than soft things. That's a

27:02

very general statement, but I think it roughly

27:04

holds. I think that

27:07

could be a thing that gets your name if

27:09

it really catches on in the public

27:12

consciousness. The Persian principle of history. Yeah,

27:15

the history. I'm serious. The

27:17

further back in history you go, the harder things

27:20

are. Yes, history

27:22

is hard. History is hard. It gets softer

27:24

over time. Yep, that's a very good graph. Also,

27:27

the soft stuff would have disintegrated

27:29

in such. Oh my gosh. History

27:33

is hard as a catchphrase, as a model,

27:35

as something that needs to be on merch, guys.

27:37

Or is it just as simple

27:39

as hard is easy, soft is hard. Old beds used

27:41

to be made of wood and a bit of wool.

27:44

They didn't have memory foam. I

27:49

could reduce the Persian principle to six words,

27:51

if I may. I think it's hard is easy,

27:53

soft is hard.

27:55

Wow. Wow.

28:00

Yeah, yeah, the urologist

28:02

also has that on the

28:04

billboard out front. I, no, I

28:08

just mean I would love to see like a weird, just

28:10

in a museum, like, I just

28:12

wish as many of those sex

28:14

toys were

28:15

attempted, because I want to see weird steampunk attempts.

28:18

You know what they were? I'm realizing now, they were goats.

28:20

For much of history, they were just goats. Right, right,

28:22

they were just animals. And yeah.

28:27

Where did we land on this dolphin? Oh

28:29

yeah, it's a hoax. I can't find the source of it,

28:32

but like the rape caves are a hoax. Deanne,

28:34

just doing the robot out of this subject.

28:37

Just brought us back to how it all

28:39

started. Moonwalking away from

28:42

my steampunk fleshlight riff.

28:46

Like there's a reason we got here. You

28:49

know, it's also, it's the ADHD needs to tie

28:51

everything back. I know, I know. No, rest

28:53

assured, dolphin rape caves are not real, but I also

28:56

was kind of getting flummoxed by the

28:58

fact that I couldn't even find the

29:00

origin of this

29:03

meme, if you will. But you know, I did find

29:05

out guys though. Oh, what were

29:07

you gonna say? What have you found out before I move us on?

29:09

Well, some things that are hard are actually

29:11

hard. Like the hardest thing in your body?

29:15

What? Teeth, it's

29:17

hard to regrow teeth, or at least that has been

29:19

the case. What?

29:21

Until now, maybe. This is a story

29:24

Justin Broad sent us, Curtis is. Sounds

29:26

like it'll be, I always assume this

29:28

is probably two decades away, three decades

29:30

away. Oh, contraire. Go to sciencealert.com.

29:33

This is shark territory. I

29:35

know, right? A drug for regrowing teeth could

29:37

be available within the next decade, so

29:40

teeth don't grow back once they become adults, obviously. Any

29:42

wear and tear is permanent. As those of

29:44

us with feelings know, this is why it's important to keep them as

29:47

clean and healthy as we can. However, this

29:49

is something scientists are now looking to change. It's

29:51

been announced that clinical trials for potential tooth

29:53

regrowth formula or treatment

29:56

are set to begin in July 2024. decades

30:00

of research in the field. If those trials

30:02

are successful, therapeutic drugs could be available

30:04

by 2030. A team

30:06

from Medical Research Institute at Kitano Hospital in

30:08

Japan is in charge of the trial, which is targeting

30:10

people with anodontia, a rare

30:13

genetic condition that prevents baby teeth and adult

30:15

teeth from growing in the normal way. The treatment would

30:17

initially target young children with the condition, but further down

30:19

the line, the researchers think it could be used more broadly

30:21

with people who have more common dental problems,

30:24

such as gum disease, for example. The

30:26

idea of growing new teeth is every dentist's dream,

30:28

katsu Takahashi, head of the dentistry and oral

30:31

surgery department at Kitano Hospital, told the Mayaniki

30:35

publication. That's really disappointing to find out the dentists'

30:38

dream about teeth. Yeah, you would hope. It's

30:40

sort of a busman's holiday situation.

30:43

The idea of growing new teeth

30:46

is every dentist's dream.

30:49

It makes them sound so dissatisfied with

30:51

their actual lives, which

30:53

is really nice. Dealing with

30:55

teeth, just regular teeth. It's also

30:57

very nice. They dream of this other world.

31:00

It's very filoque dick, you know,

31:02

like the dentist's dream of growing

31:04

teeth. Blade

31:08

Runner 2. Yes, yes they do according

31:11

to katsu Takahashi.

31:13

So the way this could work is

31:16

courtesy of an antibody that was discovered that could

31:19

safely block some of the activity of this

31:21

gene called USAG1 that

31:25

limits tooth growth in mice.

31:29

So if you could block the expression of that, which

31:32

I did in ferrets and mice. Right,

31:34

because don't some animals have teeth, they don't stop

31:36

growing. Like, yeah, they

31:40

have to file them down, right?

31:42

USAG, maybe they lack USAG1,

31:45

because

31:46

wait, the antibody is to block. Oh, you meant

31:48

like the individual teeth keep growing

31:50

rather than like they keep growing more teeth. Or

31:52

do they keep growing more teeth? I don't know. Yeah. I

31:55

think the individual teeth like, uh,

31:57

like rats. Yeah. Beavers.

32:00

Beavers. Beavers. Mm-hmm. Yeah,

32:02

but is, yeah, does, is

32:05

a beaver tooth just constantly whittled down

32:07

or will it like, eventually like fall

32:10

out and anyone will come by and do it? Or,

32:12

I don't know, if we got any beevologists out

32:14

there, let

32:17

us know. Just because of our earlier conversation.

32:19

Just some gay-ish dude with a tank

32:21

top. This is female body inspector,

32:24

female beevologist. Federal beevologist,

32:26

yeah.

32:26

This is like not appropriate and

32:29

I just need you to know, now the phrase vagina

32:31

dentata is deeply rolling

32:34

around in my brain because of beaver teeth and

32:36

fuck

32:36

you all. Yep, can you get more than one sec?

32:39

Was that a science porn thing or is that a real thing? It's

32:42

like a, it's like a crypto biology

32:45

thing, right? Like a mythology

32:47

sort of thing. Oh yeah. Is

32:50

it? Or like a Freudian thing, like that's what- I

32:52

know that tumors can grow teeth and hair, like

32:54

any, or not teeth, but anything keratin,

32:57

fingernails, hair.

32:58

But yeah,

33:01

I don't- Well there's a horror movie about this. Have you guys seen

33:03

it called Teeth? Teeth? What?

33:06

It's just called Teeth. I've seen Teeth.

33:07

What? About vaginal dentata. Yeah, yeah. Okay,

33:12

I'm gonna do it. It's got a lot of severed

33:14

movie penises. A lot of severed

33:16

penis for an R rated movie. If I can relate,

33:20

relatedly, give

33:22

a little update about something

33:24

that is very related to this story. I

33:26

was mentioning on our last episode how

33:29

it very much annoys me that animals,

33:32

our pets, dogs and cats, namely, have

33:34

dental chews and we still have to brush our

33:36

teeth. Because like dental chews, like just

33:39

give us something to chew.

33:40

You know, just give me a little thing. I can chew every day.

33:42

Yes. Don't have to brush your teeth anymore, that'd be great. And

33:45

I found out through some very kind scientific

33:48

emails that that's

33:52

what the phrase, an apple a day keeps the

33:54

doctor away, is about teeth.

33:57

And I thought it was about like new. but

34:01

it has nothing to do with that. It used

34:03

to be well known that chewing an apple

34:06

and drinking some water would clean the shit out of your

34:08

teeth.

34:09

Even in spite of these sugars? I thought

34:11

it was about throwing apples at doctors.

34:15

Yeah, pelting them. Get out of here. Yeah.

34:20

No, it's a tooth decay thing. So

34:22

that was interesting. Little update

34:24

for you.

34:25

The movie Teeth was distributed

34:28

by the Weinstein's. I

34:31

mean, still were lots of great movies,

34:33

right? Pulp Fiction. I know, I know. It just seems

34:35

fitting, that's all. I was like, this movie sounds insane.

34:37

And then it was like, the Weinstein Company, I'm like, for sure.

34:41

Yeah, just listen to Matt Damon on Smart

34:43

List. And those guys

34:45

owe their career to the Weinstein's with

34:47

Goodwill Hunting and stuff. Oh, Goodwill Hunting, yeah, was

34:49

one of the first. Yeah,

34:53

have they started, like when you stream stuff,

34:55

have they taken off the,

34:58

like if you were to stream Goodwill Hunting, have they taken

35:00

off the little header? I don't think so. That's

35:03

not how history has ever worked, I don't think, has

35:05

it?

35:05

I mean, you can retcon a header to a book.

35:08

Yeah, but like when you play an R. Kelly song on Spotify, it

35:10

doesn't like have his name blurred out or something, right?

35:12

Well,

35:15

it's just there. Imagine

35:17

that, if every problematic artist

35:19

in history just were, the art exists,

35:21

but their name were just blurred, or we could

35:23

no longer see a picture of them. The artist

35:25

formerly known as, right, right, right? Yeah.

35:28

Okay, there's a little more to talk about with this tooth stuff,

35:30

if you guys are as excited as I am, I want some new teeth,

35:33

why not, sure. I love it.

35:35

So yeah, like I said, this antibody would block the

35:38

activity of that gene in mice and ferrets with

35:41

no side effects, which induce tooth growth. So

35:43

the next step is to see if that same chemical reaction can be

35:45

controlled in humans, and they're talking

35:47

about potential rather than reality at the moment, but it might be

35:49

possible to use the new drug to prompt the growth of a third

35:52

generation of teeth in the mouth after

35:54

baby and full-size adult. The

35:57

benefit of the approach is that teeth growth

35:59

being triggered in a natural way

36:01

through a process known as bone morphogenetic

36:03

protein signaling. Our bodies are

36:05

naturally doing the work without any complicated engineering

36:07

of stem cells required.

36:09

The team also suggests that advancements in scanning technology

36:12

such as mass spectrometry, for example, will

36:14

make it easier to spot biomarkers indicating the

36:16

people who will benefit most from the treatment. Anti-USAG-1

36:20

antibody treatment in mice is

36:22

effective for tooth regeneration and can be a breakthrough in treating

36:24

tooth anomalies in humans, right, the researchers?

36:27

So if you just knew you had,

36:29

I

36:31

guess it wouldn't be as cool if you knew it's only three

36:33

because then you're still going to take advantage

36:35

of the first two sets too much, but if you knew you could have a

36:38

new set every five years or something,

36:40

it would

36:42

just be like, I'm never rushing. I'm

36:45

just... Like molting? Yeah. Like

36:48

sort of a... What would the second

36:50

set... I would imagine, let's assume

36:52

for a minute that this happened naturally. The

36:55

first set of teeth is

36:57

presumably so you don't really... It's

37:00

more for the mother than

37:02

the baby, right? Is that why? Or is it

37:04

just that there isn't any space in your mouth yet and

37:06

you couldn't have those full acid

37:09

adult teeth come in on like a 18 month basis?

37:11

Yeah, I think that's it. I think it's... Yeah.

37:14

Yeah, that's probably it. I just know that, I mean, it would also just

37:16

be a nightmare to get milk. It'd be like,

37:19

everyone would be like, no, I'm not.

37:21

We're only bottle feeding. Fuck that.

37:23

I think even when you get the baby teeth in, that's about when you

37:25

usually want to stop breastfeeding for that reason.

37:27

I don't know the numbers on these things. I

37:29

was 17 when I stopped, so I don't know. No,

37:35

I just... What would they be for? I

37:38

would at least want an upgrade is my point in the third

37:40

generation.

37:41

Like baby teeth to adult teeth is an upgrade.

37:44

I would want a third, like at least fangs

37:46

or something cool. Sure. I

37:48

was thinking the same thing. They need to be sharper. Mm-hmm.

37:53

My only worry is I still bite the inside

37:55

of my mouth and my tongue on the regular, and

37:57

I don't know if I need better.

37:59

tools. And if

38:02

they're in any way different than people are just

38:04

going to be like coveting the first

38:07

generation adult teeth

38:09

as a sign of youth you know if that's what the

38:11

Kardashians do. We don't do that baby teeth.

38:14

We don't really have to get back to our baby teeth.

38:17

Here's the thing we disrespect

38:19

and devalue elders so much in

38:21

Western society. I think

38:23

it would

38:24

rocket them to a new level of respect

38:26

if they had like sharper,

38:29

more intense teeth than everybody else.

38:31

And it's like okay maybe other parts of their body

38:33

are failing, the hands are getting weak, it's a little difficult

38:36

to open jars. They'll just rip through that shit

38:38

with their new teeth.

38:39

Wow. That's a good point. It just comes

38:41

in as a grill. It's like Jaws and James Bond. Yeah.

38:43

Just like fight for your prison bars. Yeah.

38:48

Happy Thanksgiving. Give Grandma her meat.

38:52

Yeah.

38:55

Treat Grandma with like a little more goddamn respect.

38:58

Yeah. Fill up

39:00

her dish. And

39:03

then back the fuck away.

39:07

Keep your fingers clear.

39:09

Feed her with a chain mail gauntlet. Do

39:12

you guys remember a board game called Don't

39:14

Wake Daddy? Oh

39:15

my god. No but

39:17

it sounds vaguely familiar. I've

39:20

never played it but I think... I

39:22

feel like it does it in my head it exists

39:24

in the same kind of world as Buckaroo and those

39:27

other sort of...

39:28

Did you have that one? No.

39:30

But games where you basically try taking

39:32

turns to pile something on top of a spring-loaded

39:35

toy. Yeah. And then at some point it knocks

39:37

out... it goes off and knocks everything off and the last

39:40

person to do it loses. I think Pizza Party

39:42

was a little bit in this camp like trying to balance a

39:44

bunch of pizzas or something. I mean

39:47

I would put it in the same category as Jenga. It's all

39:49

sort of

39:50

games where you have

39:52

to do a thing and then the last person who does

39:55

something before it all falls apart is the loser. It's

39:57

still available. Don't Wake Daddy is still available.

40:00

Is by Parker Brothers Tomi

40:04

in Europe and Yeah, the

40:06

commercial was 1992 that makes sense

40:09

Am I converted or could I just have called

40:11

it dad? No,

40:23

I know I know it's yeah

40:25

if you land on the busy square

40:28

When

40:31

you wake zaddy by the way Can I just

40:33

play the ad for pizza party from 1986 to

40:35

see if I remember this song? Yeah, I

40:37

think the chorus is party

40:41

Pizza party, let's see if this is

40:43

correct

40:47

I

40:53

was even the right kiss

41:00

Oh Man

41:15

that's a jam I'm into it. That's

41:17

a game Yeah, yeah, I'll put

41:19

a link to the ad here And

41:21

was that like the first rap song? I think that

41:24

was the world's first. No, I think Well,

41:35

there's another weird human

41:37

story that has been sent in It

41:40

was it was centered by Justin Broad But beating

41:42

Justin Broad to it was listener

41:44

greedy Dave

41:45

who said I'm

41:48

sure the stone cold legend Justin B has already

41:50

sent you this he hadn't you beat you beat

41:52

Justin by a whole. Hey, let's look at

41:54

the time stamps on this one hour and

41:58

minutes.

42:00

I'm just surprised he knew about Justin Broad's face tattoo.

42:04

It's crazy. Stone Cold Legend.

42:08

But

42:09

he also tips

42:12

us that this story in The Guardian has been

42:14

written up to make it sound like an excerpt

42:16

from a 19th century Mary Shelley novel.

42:19

And this is about a pig kidney

42:21

human transplant story.

42:24

So

42:28

yeah, medical medical breakthrough

42:30

marks the longest, the longest a pig

42:32

kidney has functioned in humans setting the stage

42:34

for operations and living patients. A

42:37

pig's kidney transplanted by surgeons

42:39

into a brain dead man has continued

42:41

to function normally for more than a month. A critical

42:43

step towards an operation the New York team hope to eventually try

42:46

and living patients. So I didn't

42:48

even know you could do that. Like,

42:50

but the latest experiment and it's also

42:53

rude to call that guy brain dead, you know, like

42:55

he just wanted a kidney, a pig kidney.

43:02

But I think I I've still I've been promising this

43:04

for years on the show, but I need to work out how to donate my

43:06

body to science. And I'm, I'm bang up for

43:08

if I end up in a situation I'm brain dead, put all the

43:10

animal organs in me that you can and see what happens. Yeah,

43:13

this weird stuff. See what it does.

43:15

Yeah, I want to have a Hawkeyes.

43:20

What

43:22

I have a tail. See how

43:25

well a tail can survive. But

43:29

the latest experiment

43:32

announced on Wednesday by New York University

43:35

Langone Health marks the longest a pig kidney

43:37

has functioned in a person, albeit deceased one

43:39

and it is not over. Researchers

43:41

will track the kidneys performance for

43:44

a second month. Is

43:46

this organ really going to work like a human organ? So far,

43:48

it's looking like it says Dr. Robert Montgomery,

43:50

who's director of the Institute.

43:53

It looks even better than a human kidney.

43:56

Okay.

43:58

He said as he replaced it to see.

43:59

C-SPAN's own kidneys with a single kidney from a genetically

44:02

modified pig and watched it immediately start

44:04

producing urine.

44:06

Better than a human kidney.

44:08

Yeah. I mean, that seems unnecessary

44:11

to say. Yeah, it seems like a, I don't

44:13

know, it's a dig at human, I don't even know who it's a dig

44:15

at, just feels like superfluous.

44:19

Uh, yeah. And also, like, where

44:22

is it produced in this urine? I hope they had like a tray

44:24

underneath or something, a bowl to catch it. And immediately

44:26

producing urine. Yeah, it's just spraying

44:29

piss all over the room. Tastes

44:31

even better than a human kidney. Scientists

44:35

around the country are racing to learn

44:37

how to use animal organs to save human lives

44:40

and bodies denoted for research are from remarkable

44:42

rehearsal. More than 100,000 patients

44:44

are on the nation's transplant list and thousands die

44:46

each year waiting.

44:47

The possibility that pig kidneys may one day help

44:50

ease dire shortage of transplantable organs persuaded

44:52

the family of the 57 year old, uh,

44:55

Maurice Moe Miller from

44:58

upstate New York to donate his body for the experiment.

45:01

His sister said, I struggle

45:03

with it, uh,

45:04

but he liked helping others and I think this is what

45:06

my brother would want. So I offered my brother to them. He's

45:09

going to be in the medical books and he will live on forever.

45:11

She added, I imagine that are uses

45:13

for in a few weeks, she

45:16

finds like a shoe box that has his will in it.

45:19

And it's like, whatever happens, no pig organs.

45:25

I want not a drop of

45:27

urine being produced from my body after I die.

45:30

Oh shit. So

45:34

attempts at animal to human transplants have failed

45:36

for decades as people's immune systems attack the

45:38

foreign tissue. Now researchers using pigs

45:41

genetically modified to their organs, much

45:43

better match human bodies.

45:46

Uh, I don't know what that means exactly. Do they

45:48

have like human features and feel like love

45:50

and pain? I just watched Guardians

45:52

of the Galaxy three and that's all I could think about throughout this

45:54

whole article. Have you guys seen it yet? I have

45:56

not seen it yet. None of the movies that

45:59

are out at the moment.

47:59

Apparently, earlier that morning, doctors

48:02

Adam Griezmer and Jeffery Stern flew hundreds

48:05

of miles to a facility where the Virginia-based

48:08

Rivet-Cors Inc.

48:10

houses genetically modified pigs and retrieved kidneys

48:12

lacking a gene that would trigger immediate destruction

48:14

by the human immune system. And as they

48:17

raced back to NYU, Montgomery was removing both

48:19

kidneys from the donated body, so there would be no

48:21

doubt if the soon-to-arrive pig version was

48:23

working. One

48:25

pig

48:26

kidney was transplanted, the other stored

48:28

for comparison with the experiment ends. And

48:31

did they put that guy's kidney in the pig?

48:34

Yeah, yeah, that's what they did,

48:37

now they're telepathically linked. Yeah.

48:41

Well, I just put a link to, this ties in with

48:44

something we talked about last week, which spurred

48:46

a friend of mine who listens into emailing me

48:49

that there were a few different Radiolab episodes

48:52

about AlphaGal that,

48:54

remember that tick-borne allergy we talked

48:56

about? In

48:59

the show we do, called Probably Science,

49:03

where the tick bite could induce an allergy in

49:05

certain meats. I do remember that, that was

49:07

last week, wasn't it? Yeah, so I just dropped

49:09

a link here, and I'll put in the show notes, to one

49:12

of the Radiolab episodes about that, in which they

49:14

also referenced this same kidney-pigged

49:17

human thing, because of course, if you

49:19

had that same allergy, that surgery would

49:21

be a problem for you. So all this stuff

49:24

does connect. So I haven't actually listened to these two

49:26

Radiolabs, but I think it would be interesting to

49:29

dig into, because it was news to me

49:31

as of last week, and this

49:33

has been known for a while, but not often talked about. So

49:36

to bring, Deanna, to bring up to speed, there's a

49:38

tick that if it bites you, now you're allergic to meat.

49:40

That's

49:41

fascinating. And Keith Duddy, by

49:43

the way, listener Keith Duddy said

49:45

this was discovered in Australia years ago. Australia

49:49

always ahead of the curve, as Keith points

49:52

out, in the

49:54

creatures that fuck you up world. Oh

49:56

yeah, I mean, I've just

49:59

been so

49:59

I'm sitting here a little bit stunned and not to bring the

50:02

entire podcast down, but some part

50:04

of me is finding it adorable that

50:06

humans are still working on making

50:08

humans better when

50:10

it's like, guys, we'll be lucky if

50:13

we're all here in 50 years, huh? We

50:16

kinda don't need better teeth right now, but we

50:18

do need breathable air

50:19

if anybody wants to get on that. Right,

50:22

right. This is true. Yeah, fresh water. This

50:24

is true, but what's the profits in breathable air? Guys,

50:26

speaking of that, I didn't wanna lead off with

50:28

this, but this weekend is gonna be

50:30

fucked up.

50:32

For those of us on the West Coast, for

50:34

me in particular, in Joshua Tree, California.

50:37

Yeah, tell me about Joshua Tree. I know there's a hurricane

50:40

about to hit. It's a hurricane that's gonna hit, and

50:42

the peak rainfall is gonna happen in

50:44

the Mojave Desert where I live. We're gonna get

50:46

four inches in one day, which is more than we get all

50:49

year. We're gonna get that on Sunday. That's

50:51

not good. I'm expecting I will have no

50:53

power and no access to the outside.

50:56

There's only one paved road from my house, and it has all these

50:58

dips that fill up when there's rain. So I'm

51:00

just gonna be stuck in my house for a couple

51:03

days, I think, probably without power, but we'll see.

51:06

But yeah, it's gonna fuck things up throughout

51:08

the Baja Peninsula, and actually I think it's starting to move

51:11

West, and the middle could kind of

51:14

be centered over Los Angeles, but

51:17

for some reason we and the Coachella Valley

51:19

and Big Bear Arrowhead are gonna get a ton.

51:22

I looked up, the last time something that happened was the

51:24

70s, and they got like 15 inches

51:26

of rain a day up at Mount

51:31

Sangrogonia, which I can see out my back window

51:33

here. It's like the area of Big Bear

51:35

and Arrowhead, and that all flooded

51:38

down into the Inland Empire,

51:40

San Bernardino area, and destroyed

51:43

towns, and a bunch of people died in the Coachella

51:45

Valley, or all of our people died in Southern California

51:47

when this happened in the 70s. So this weekend, I mean,

51:51

who knows? It's still two days away, but it's

51:53

looking pretty bad. Have

51:58

you patched your roof and stuff?

51:59

As soon as we stop recording, I'm

52:01

going to go, I just have one gutter

52:03

that leaks. I'm going to go fix that this afternoon and then just

52:05

hunker down and buy a lot of non-perishables.

52:09

And only not, whatever. At worst, it's like the kind

52:11

of thing, like fridge closed for a day. And

52:13

also buy food that doesn't need electricity

52:16

or gas to eat. Yeah, I mean,

52:18

it's not

52:19

going to be that hard to do the food part. Most

52:21

of them expecting a day of no power. Right.

52:24

Don't they expect it'll be a tropical

52:26

storm by the time it even landfalls? Yeah,

52:29

but if we get four inches here, we're just going to, it's

52:31

going to just fucking pick it up. It'll be a rain issue, right?

52:33

But the rain will also knock out power and

52:36

limit access to roads. And there'll

52:38

be floods all over here. So I

52:41

don't know. Wish me luck. We're recording on

52:43

Sunday, so hopefully I have power. We'll see. Yeah.

52:47

Yeah. Wow. And Deanne, where do you live again right

52:49

now? Oh, I'm in New York. Oh,

52:51

OK. Well, you're good. Yeah,

52:53

yeah. Yeah. Every

52:56

once in a while, the air doesn't feel breathable, but

52:58

that's almost everywhere

52:59

now. You guys had that Canada

53:01

fire. Yeah. How

53:04

long did that last? That

53:06

was like, it was a day

53:09

or two that it was quite severe.

53:12

But then that kind of it lingered for a minute.

53:14

And I had to remind myself when I was walking around,

53:16

I'm like, I feel really irritable. And

53:18

I'm like, oh, yeah, probably not getting

53:20

the regular oxygen

53:23

that a person should be getting right now. But you guys are well

53:25

acquainted with that on the West Coast.

53:26

Yeah. Well, now there's

53:28

another Canada fire, like the yellow knife.

53:31

There's all the vacuum. You were right.

53:34

Fuck. I have a friend in yellow knife that, yeah, I forgot.

53:36

There's so many horrors constantly. I

53:38

know. I know. Oh, yeah. A friend posted about

53:41

that, but I kind of forgot because there's so many

53:43

other horrors. Yeah,

53:45

what's happening in yellow

53:46

knife? Was there a little bit of you that was proud that the little

53:48

Canada had caused that much problems to big New York?

53:51

I mean, yeah. I

53:54

was. I was like, Canada's on the map. It's a real

53:56

country, you guys. Oh, yeah. Good.

54:00

Money, yeah. Yellow

54:04

knife, I'm looking this up. I've never heard of this

54:06

before. Now they're yet to make and control

54:08

their own fire. Yes, so

54:10

far north. Yeah, it's really

54:12

up there.

54:14

Oh, that's a giant lake.

54:16

Oh, with a name that's not fun. Yeah.

54:19

Oh, yeah, I can't say that. Wow,

54:23

I just never realized how big. Jesus.

54:27

The size of these these like are the size

54:29

of Great Lakes. Almost a few of these

54:32

lakes up in the Northwest Territories.

54:36

Yeah, everyone else already know that and

54:38

I didn't like Great Bear Lake

54:40

looks like it's probably on par with like

54:43

maybe an eerie. I

54:46

know it's like it's like one

54:48

of the there's some

54:51

big lakes in Canada is what Andy's discovering that he hadn't

54:53

heard of before. Mm-hmm. Yeah,

54:56

they got it. It's I

54:58

mean I this is very sort of like long-term

55:01

whatever but I think that

55:03

when speaking of the will

55:05

there you know people in 50 years and such but

55:07

like Canada has

55:10

so much freshwater that I

55:12

worry about its safety

55:14

when that because the the the

55:17

resource that everyone on

55:18

Earth needs. I had felt exactly

55:20

the same because I fled

55:22

the United States of America when George W. Bush

55:24

stole the state of Florida. I

55:27

was a little bit ahead of the curve where everything

55:29

was going. I was like Canada Canada

55:31

safe. Yeah, and then I got there. I'm like

55:33

no, no, no, no, no the US military the minute

55:36

the US decides they need anything from Canada.

55:39

It's over. It's over for Canada.

55:41

Sure. I

55:43

suppose we have alliances in place now where

55:45

that would be very I think

55:48

all these things are like if that

55:50

is the thing that we get to before a bunch of

55:52

other things go wrong. Yes, but I don't think

55:54

it's going to go in that order. Also,

55:57

I mean call me a tech

55:59

utopian or optimist. semester something, but I think

56:01

desalination is something that we can reasonably

56:04

tackle at a reasonable cost in the next couple decades.

56:07

Yeah.

56:07

Ooh, okay, I love this, yes. Give me your tech

56:09

optimism. I don't have a great thing

56:11

to point to for this, except that it's

56:14

already not incredibly expensive, it's just more

56:17

expensive than other ways

56:19

of getting drinkable water right now, but I don't see

56:21

a reason why that can't come down, so I don't think

56:23

that drinkable water is gonna be in

56:26

the developed world at least. It's obviously always

56:29

about the difficulty of getting water from

56:31

one place to another more than it is

56:33

the actual total world supply of fresh water,

56:35

so. Isn't the bigger issue

56:37

not just like drinkable

56:40

water, having a lovely glass of water

56:42

to stay alive, but the

56:45

massive amount of it needed for a food supply will

56:47

have to change. I mean, that's why we've been talking about,

56:50

we talk a lot on here about the inevitability of

56:53

eating bugs, it's because so little

56:55

water is required, as opposed to like 10 gallons

56:57

per almond. Right, right.

56:59

I mean, I don't know, I don't know what the future holds. Basically,

57:02

what I think is after the last year or two, we

57:05

should stop thinking that

57:06

any of the things are knowable after the last five

57:09

years. Things are gonna go bad, but not

57:11

in the way we expect them to go bad, so I'm not gonna get

57:13

my panties in a bunch over one specific way

57:15

things to go bad, because we're gonna get blindsided

57:17

by a completely unexpected one. I mean,

57:19

I don't think that, first

57:23

of all, I'm glad you're finally out about the panties. I've

57:25

been telling people about that for

57:27

years. But

57:31

I think that, yeah, it wouldn't be

57:34

the modern America

57:36

that we are picturing invading

57:39

Canada. It would

57:41

be a broken post-apocalyptic,

57:44

you know, weird bands. Yeah,

57:48

I think by the time the water wars happen, it won't exactly

57:50

look like

57:52

what we're thinking. They'll be fought by our

57:54

robot proxies, crunching on skulls as they

57:56

walk over there. By that

57:58

time, I fully prepare. on having

58:00

super sharp teeth. So

58:03

I'm protected. There you go. Third

58:05

set of teeth, baby. What

58:08

comes first, the third set of teeth or like

58:10

unlivable summer temperatures that lead

58:12

us up to Canada? I think there will

58:14

be co-evolution. I think you'll

58:16

sort of see.

58:17

I mean, it's a bit of a chicken

58:20

and egg thing, but I think one's driving it. I

58:22

think they're driving each other. Have

58:24

you guys, have you ventured into the world of bugs?

58:27

Are you preparing yourself for this future? I

58:30

think that's inevitable. Are you preparing your palette?

58:33

I'm trying to. Have you done it? I haven't, but I'm

58:35

trying to just enjoy, like

58:38

it is very apparent to me how many things

58:40

we regularly do now are going to be insane

58:43

in 30, 40 years. Oh

58:45

yeah. So I'm just trying

58:48

to, not in like a hedonism way, but

58:50

I'm just trying to enjoy

58:52

little things like that. I

58:57

don't know. I think it's going to be weird.

59:00

We'll probably not be,

59:03

we're probably going to be going porta potty style instead of

59:05

like flushing toilets or at least

59:07

using fresh water for it. It is wild, it is wild

59:09

the amount of water we use in toilets. It's

59:11

really one of those things I think. Like drinkable water. Eventually

59:15

we'll tell grandkids about it and they'll

59:17

be like, so you knew how precious it was? We're like, yeah.

59:19

And we just

59:20

pissed and shit in it constantly. Yeah.

59:22

And you needed like two full gallons

59:25

of water to piss in. Like it needs to be fresh water

59:27

that you piss in. Yeah.

59:28

And they'll be like, yeah, so you, everybody. Like drinkable quality water

59:30

that you just piss in and then you flush

59:33

it away so that someone else can piss in it 10 minutes later.

59:35

Yeah. And we take our extra water and

59:37

just display it in big fountains, like,

59:39

and then people throw money in there. That's

59:42

what we used to do. We had so much extra

59:44

money that we would throw it in our fresh water. Fuck

59:46

you.

59:47

And chocolate cake used to be less

59:49

than $500. Chocolate

59:52

cake is $500. It used

59:54

to be only $7. Or one pint of water. Okay.

59:57

For. For. For. Well,

1:00:01

you know what isn't currently $500? The

1:00:04

excellent new comedy album from DeAnn Smith.

1:00:06

Yeah.

1:00:07

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks

1:00:09

for your buck. I will

1:00:11

tell you about its price, though. Its price,

1:00:14

when I found out, is insultingly

1:00:16

low to literally everyone involved

1:00:18

in the transaction, to me, to the engineers,

1:00:21

to the audience, and to you, the person buying it. It's

1:00:24

merely $5. So

1:00:26

everything should be $7. Everything should

1:00:29

be $7.

1:00:29

At least $7.

1:00:31

Tell us about the album. We should

1:00:33

wrap up the main episode, and we'll do an extra story, bonus

1:00:35

story, for the Patreon patrons. But

1:00:38

tell us about the album and where you recorded it and

1:00:40

what it is and the name.

1:00:42

Well, listen, the album is fun. It's called Chewini

1:00:45

and a Tank Top. And I'm going to be very transparent

1:00:47

with you guys. I recorded it in December 2021.

1:00:51

We are talking right now in July 2023. So

1:00:54

it's not, for me personally, where

1:00:56

I am in my life right now, it's not the most exciting

1:00:58

thing that's ever happened. It's like material

1:01:00

I forgot about a while ago. But

1:01:03

it's good stuff. And the title

1:01:06

Chewini and a Tank Top is based

1:01:08

on a riff about my gender. I'm

1:01:11

always talking about it. And I think it just came

1:01:13

up once when I was like, listen, I'm a they them. You

1:01:15

can call me whatever. Any sense

1:01:17

of, any combination of words that makes sense to

1:01:19

you makes sense to me. Failed woman? Fine.

1:01:22

Weird man? All right. Chewini and a Tank

1:01:24

Top? I admire your creativity. So

1:01:26

we get into it. There's a cute story

1:01:29

about the time I met Jon Hamm. I

1:01:32

would say it's worth a listen.

1:01:33

I would also say, if you're deeply into comedy,

1:01:35

you can also listen to

1:01:37

how it was not a great night.

1:01:40

It was not a great night at that club in Portland. The

1:01:42

audience was, I got to be honest with you, so, so. Oh.

1:01:46

Is that a helium?

1:01:47

The joke still shine. It

1:01:51

was my friend's club, Curious Comedy

1:01:53

Theater. And it was good. Is your friend

1:01:55

Stacey Hallal? Because she's a good friend of mine as well.

1:01:57

Yes. I took improv classes for

1:01:59

years. there. That's the best theater. Oh, that's

1:02:02

so great! Yeah, the theater is the best.

1:02:04

We just recorded on like one

1:02:06

night and it was fine. I'll

1:02:08

tell you it was fine.

1:02:10

I like that though sometimes. I like

1:02:14

comedy albums that have a certain rawness

1:02:16

and realness to them. Like there was one of the Hedberg ones

1:02:18

where you can sort of... Oh yeah, strategic revelations.

1:02:22

You know what? You can clearly hear him fighting the

1:02:24

audience through it and leaving every

1:02:26

flub and every

1:02:28

error in. Yes, I am not fighting

1:02:30

the audience, but there is like a very fun

1:02:32

riff at the end and I was thinking specifically

1:02:35

of Hedberg and stuff like that. I think,

1:02:37

you know, the tendency now is for everything to be

1:02:40

like so polished and so kind of unreal

1:02:42

in a way and it was liberating

1:02:45

to my ego and everything to just

1:02:47

go, this was a night at a club and it

1:02:49

was good and here it is. That's

1:02:50

great. You're right. That

1:02:52

Hedberg album was one of my all-time favorites and like there's

1:02:54

so many moments where he's like, yeah, as the joke

1:02:57

goes down, Chuck picks it up and then the bass

1:02:59

player starts playing to like recover him from

1:03:01

his jokes not working.

1:03:06

But definitely, we'll put links to that.

1:03:08

Definitely check it out because Deanne's one of my favorites.

1:03:12

Super funny and where

1:03:14

else can I find you on the social media

1:03:16

things?

1:03:17

Yeah, listen, I should be. I'm pretty

1:03:19

bad at self-promo, so good luck to you all.

1:03:23

There's no TikTok. My name is Deanne Smith.

1:03:26

The website is grossly under,

1:03:29

what's the word I'm looking for? It's not up to date in any

1:03:31

way, but I guess I will

1:03:33

soon be in Toronto,

1:03:36

Portland, Seattle doing

1:03:38

a little fun thing in London.

1:03:41

So good luck to you. Google some combination of

1:03:43

those things. We have listeners in all of those places, so if you're

1:03:45

in any of those locations, go and see Deanne

1:03:47

Tell Jokes. You can find

1:03:50

us as always, probablyscience.com is

1:03:52

the website.

1:03:54

We are on Twitter at probablyscience individually

1:03:56

at jessicase at andytwood and at mattkirschen.

1:03:59

ProbabilityScience at gmail.com is the

1:04:02

email address for any questions, comments, clarifications

1:04:05

and stories you'd like us to cover. So

1:04:08

send all that stuff in, let us know. And

1:04:11

also ProbabilityScience.com is where the Patreon

1:04:14

and PayPal links are for anyone who wants to support the show

1:04:16

financially and also sign up to get the extra

1:04:18

bonus story which we will be recording after this.

1:04:20

But Deanne, thank you so much for joining us.

1:04:22

You are so welcome. Thank you for inviting

1:04:24

me. Also how much are you raking in monthly?

1:04:27

I mean, I'm getting all the money. I'm

1:04:29

currently recording this sat underneath a gold

1:04:31

tiara, but everyone else is. Oh,

1:04:34

that explains it.

1:04:36

Yeah, that's why I'm always wearing tiaras and burning them. I'm

1:04:38

throwing tiaras into my piss water constantly.

1:04:42

Piss water. Um,

1:04:46

we will see you next

1:04:47

time. Bye. Bye bye.