0:01

Good afternoon everyone, it's Dr. Nairogan,

0:03

our next episode of Psychology Unplugged.

0:05

As always, a heartfelt thank you

0:07

to all of our followers, both

0:10

here in the United States and

0:13

internationally. It's the highlight

0:15

of my week to be able to do

0:18

this and I appreciate all of your comments

0:20

and feedback. This

0:22

has taken off to a level that I

0:25

never thought it would ever get to in

0:27

recent audience that I never had imagined. My

0:30

whole goal was to legitimize and

0:32

demystify mental health and most

0:35

importantly instill a sense of hope. So

0:38

last night we were able to, someone had

0:40

contacted me, emailed her and

0:42

needed help on

0:46

a paper about bipolarity and bipolar disorder and

0:48

Julie and I spent like 40 minutes of

0:51

our Sunday evening doing

0:53

what we love best, collaborating with people

0:55

and answering questions and being

0:58

a resource and it's

1:01

really a pleasure and again a

1:03

heartfelt thank you. So

1:06

today I'm going to go back into, I did

1:08

IQ last week. This

1:10

time I'm going to revisit a topic that I did

1:12

have done in the past and I'm sure I will

1:14

revisit again, is narcissistic

1:17

personality disorder and

1:20

some variations that you're not going

1:22

to find anywhere in

1:24

the DSM-5. So

1:29

personality is,

1:32

you know I've done a lot of episodes

1:35

in this and this is probably this topic

1:37

of personality disorders in and of themselves is

1:42

certainly an interest for me as I, you

1:45

guys who follow us, you know I don't

1:48

do a lot of therapy but I primarily

1:50

treat borderline from a very

1:52

cognitive behavioral, rashly motive perspective

1:58

but personality is sort

2:01

in my personal and professional opinion

2:03

I think are often

2:05

missed by mental

2:07

health professionals. They

2:09

are under diagnosed despite somebody

2:11

meeting diagnostic criteria because people

2:14

for some reason believe that

2:16

you shouldn't diagnose somebody because they're

2:19

not 18 and that is absolutely

2:21

ridiculous because nowhere in the DSM

2:24

with the exception of anti-social for

2:26

a legal reason doesn't say that

2:28

you cannot diagnose prior to

2:31

somebody meets the diagnostic criteria. So it

2:33

is definitely a frustration for me and

2:35

a lot of people depending on their

2:37

education don't always get a

2:40

lot of training in diagnostics

2:42

and personality disorders and

2:44

really understanding personality and

2:47

how it's constructed. The

2:49

work of Theodore Milan, the work of

2:51

Alfred Adler, the probably the pioneer and

2:53

really parsing out what really is

2:57

constitutes personality and just as a recap

2:59

it's our belief about ourselves, a belief

3:01

about other people, a belief about the

3:03

world in general and the therefore the

3:05

conclusions that we draw. So narcissism,

3:11

is it a bad thing? I think

3:14

that's a tricky question. I

3:18

think narcissism is definitely

3:20

very different than narcissistic

3:22

personality disorder. Narcissism,

3:27

if we just take the kind of

3:29

the textbook example, you know use Donald

3:32

Trump. There's a classic example

3:34

of they will call

3:36

an overt narcissist

3:39

and an overt narcissist is pretty

3:42

much textbook in what's in in

3:44

the DSM. The grandiosity,

3:48

fantasies of success and

3:50

power, brilliance, artistic creativity.

3:54

They believe that they're special, they possess,

3:56

never in a psychotic sense but just

3:58

special and unique. and

4:00

only can be associated with people who

4:02

are on their same level, even

4:04

though they still believe that they're on their same,

4:07

that someone else is on their same level, that

4:09

the people below them really are people on that

4:11

same level they perceive, they really

4:13

believe that they're, you know, below them.

4:16

They, you know, they require excessive

4:18

aberration and the

4:20

sense of entitlement, unreasonable

4:23

expectations and almost,

4:25

you know, automatic compliance with

4:28

someone's, with their

4:30

expectations or wishes, spoken or

4:32

non-spoken, and talk about, you

4:35

know, they expect,

4:37

I think people are mind readers, you

4:40

know, that they're interpersonally exploitative.

4:43

They will take advantage of others to achieve

4:45

their own goals. They will take advantage

4:48

of others to destroy

4:50

them. And I'm going to get to

4:52

that in a minute. They

4:54

lack empathy and

4:57

they're envious

5:00

and they believe that others are envious of them. And

5:03

they're arrogant in their behaviors

5:05

and their attitude. And

5:08

a lot of times it's very easy to spot

5:10

what we would call an overt

5:12

narcissist because these behaviors are

5:15

so over the top,

5:17

the grandiosity and the

5:21

entitlement and the wrath

5:25

that comes with narcissistic injury

5:27

and the narcissistic injury is

5:29

revenge. So that

5:31

kind of segues into, we don't have

5:33

a, this is not a formal clinical

5:36

diagnosis, but there's a different group of

5:38

narcissists that are

5:40

called, they fall under what we would call

5:42

covert narcissists. Now

5:45

these individuals, they

5:48

slide under the radar all the

5:51

time. They're

5:53

meeting the diagnostic criteria for all

5:55

of these, but because

5:57

they're covert, they lay

6:00

very low and they're

6:02

not as easy to recognize or

6:04

to spot. And I'm

6:06

going to use some non-clinical terms in,

6:10

you know, throughout this episode. So

6:13

again, the insult to

6:15

any type of narcissist is

6:18

revenge. And not just

6:20

revenge of an eye for an eye, but

6:22

revenge for an eye for your life. And

6:25

the narcissistic injury can be

6:28

incredibly dangerous. It can

6:30

be extremely

6:32

destructive, whether that's

6:35

through ruining someone

6:37

financially, ruining someone

6:40

through their career, ruining someone

6:47

through social media. And it can

6:50

be relentless because the

6:52

covert narcissist because they believe

6:54

that they are entitled to

6:56

that and how

6:59

they put on a great facade and they're able

7:01

to fake a lot of people because they're able

7:03

to hide it. And I

7:05

think why the covert are harder is I

7:07

think they're more calculating. The

7:10

overt narcissist, they

7:12

talk a big game and they

7:15

blow their whistle and they're very loud,

7:17

but their attention, I think gets distracted

7:20

pretty easily to the next person that they

7:22

perceive the insult, but it is committed some

7:24

insult with a covert

7:27

narcissist is more likely to

7:29

engage other people. What you

7:31

know, a non-clinical terminology is

7:33

a flying monkeys. And that's taken

7:36

from, you know, the wizard of Oz where

7:39

they will send other people to kind of

7:41

look at your social media accounts or maybe, you

7:44

know, meet you for a drink to kind of

7:46

find out because their goal is they want to

7:48

see, if you hurt them, they want to see

7:50

you not just fall. They want to see you

7:52

fail and they want to see you be

7:56

completely obliterated. And the best thing you could

7:58

do in dealing with

8:00

narcissist and this is the old saying

8:03

the best revenge is living well and

8:05

that will that will drive a narcissist

8:07

crazy They they

8:09

are unable to even sleep. They

8:12

could be pacing the room their

8:14

mind is racing They're there, but

8:16

they're also cowards Remember

8:18

I talked about the personality Nurses

8:21

are huge cowards. It's the Wizard

8:23

of Oz This is

8:25

Oz's mighty powerful creature Maybe that'll be

8:28

more the overt one But this is

8:30

the same premise of the covert one

8:32

is they they present this facade whether

8:35

it's very overt and boisterous Or

8:37

very subtle Behind that

8:39

curtain they are terrified. They are

8:42

terrified that total will just pull

8:44

that back and Realize

8:46

that there's nothing there. They are these

8:48

are vapid individuals Who

8:51

live on the sense of entitlement

8:53

and superiority and have no regard

8:55

for? Individuals, it's white. This

8:57

is why you do not see these people come into

9:00

treatment now. I have diagnosed This

9:02

in people but these people aren't coming into treatment

9:04

then and when they do come in a treatment

9:07

There's usually a reason because someone's telling them

9:09

to or their their job as a stake

9:11

or their their marriage or their relationship Is

9:13

at stake, but these are really easy to

9:16

spot We have tests that are really good

9:18

at the Rorschach is great at being able

9:20

to pick up narcissism So is the MMPI

9:22

and other assessments and just you

9:24

know listening to how someone talks And

9:30

Refers to themselves and the stories

9:32

that they tell but but

9:34

narcissists are incredibly Vulnerable

9:38

in their self-esteem and

9:40

again, like I said, they're hypersensitive

9:43

to injury From

9:46

any kind of criticism or perceived defeat they can't

9:48

let things go and again not to you know

9:50

I'm not it's not a political argument, but you

9:52

see like Donald Trump with the election. He cannot

9:54

let this go years later This

9:56

is how this is how the

9:58

person persevereats. In an amphibian

10:00

up to say where you have you

10:03

don't be a dictator for days. This

10:05

is this is the trajectory the somebody

10:07

will go when the fragility of a

10:09

self esteem and a so fragmented ah

10:11

been. This is why is this is

10:13

a dangerous personality disorder This is one

10:15

as as as you would involved with

10:17

the covert ones. There are various happy

10:19

of. His long as you

10:21

do what you're told. And

10:24

if you split them not only see

10:26

my new but I'm coming after you

10:28

are and I think it's good to

10:31

a point where big to make an

10:33

individual question their own sanity question. You

10:35

know the snow, the term, gas lighting.

10:37

A lot of this comes into play

10:40

with with the Edo you are the

10:42

root of the problem. You do did

10:44

this and they're able to distort reality

10:46

because the you know if you have

10:49

the sense of entitlement and you believe

10:51

they are special, you're spinning stories. Ah,

10:53

I'm and these infants

10:56

are very calculating and.

10:59

Ah, Of. They. They they

11:01

tend to project a lot on to other

11:03

people. So these are you. Go back to

11:05

the absurd. I did. Rod.

11:08

Defense mechanism so they they

11:10

react to disdain raids. Edison

11:14

like defiant counterattacks. Ah,

11:16

I'm. In

11:19

sometimes the humility. If they are

11:21

supposed to have a larger population

11:23

the humility is is way too

11:25

much for them to handle that

11:28

they they they had the potential

11:30

to eventually retreat but if if

11:32

if a person acts has out

11:34

in the narcissist source said they

11:37

did something whether was a mistake

11:39

or been widened business dealers that

11:41

something was is exposed about the

11:43

person. the colbert one

11:45

doesn't generally jump on to ah

11:48

a verbal tirade in towards the

11:50

individual they really want to have

11:52

a poke the bear a little

11:55

bit of tennessee like you know

11:57

upwards of feelers out where the

11:59

right But their whole goal now is you

12:02

injured me and I'm going to destroy

12:04

you and that's you know Then

12:06

they will start to go out through the periphery

12:09

will start to go out through people who are on

12:11

you know fringe Friends

12:14

and gradually work back almost like like

12:16

a Yes, we've

12:19

somewhere like peeling an onion, you know where you're

12:21

the peer that you're at the core and they're

12:23

trying to Dismantle

12:26

all of the social structures all

12:28

of these social connections until

12:31

they get to a point where they believe that

12:34

they have they

12:36

have won and they they have been vindicated

12:38

and The relentless nature

12:40

of the covert narcissist can

12:43

be again Incredibly

12:45

scary it could it could certainly

12:47

push push somebody who

12:49

may be already Psychologically

12:52

fragile into a depressive

12:55

state exacerbate anxiety

12:57

create paranoia you

13:00

know if if if this is if you know

13:02

getting from from From

13:06

the perspective of the covert narcissist

13:08

and it doesn't you know mean

13:10

these are bad people It's just

13:12

when that self-esteem is so so

13:16

Fractured and almost non-existent

13:19

that their self-esteem is determined by the

13:21

you know, the fans that show up

13:24

the Part of

13:27

they drive The

13:29

job they have this is

13:32

very boastful Audacious

13:36

presentation to the world that

13:38

they are better than you and sometimes they

13:41

can have a Magnetic

13:43

personality these individuals be very

13:45

charming. They can be

13:47

incredibly charming and incredibly engaging and Fun

13:51

to be around the life of the party And

13:54

You know some some do have access to

13:56

different means and some people get benefit from

13:58

it, you know, hey guys. The nice

14:00

house you over the pool party

14:02

in. This is great but again

14:05

once you cross that line and

14:07

if you expose as any more

14:09

it's more about if you would

14:11

expose them. I guess it would

14:13

happen. probably it a direct one

14:15

on one confrontation but it's much

14:17

more problematic if you if you've

14:20

expose them to need that, the

14:22

their colleagues or the social circle

14:24

or to anybody that's in the

14:26

periphery. we're now the spotlight is

14:28

on them and they. Are they

14:30

are hell bent as booting the

14:33

spotlight and not only movie as

14:35

but smashing into the ground. It's

14:38

basically into your face. This. Is

14:41

this is this the vengeance of

14:43

dealing with nurses as of raids

14:45

because again the relentless nature of

14:47

this as a as a note

14:49

in the cluster be personnel in

14:51

categories which is where the histrionic,

14:53

the borderline or the anti social

14:55

are so ah. It's

14:57

is it. You know you met me

15:00

To heaven is put a dependent of

15:02

the nurses together. reveal that's that's going

15:04

to work out just fine. but get

15:06

a once once you cross the narcissist.

15:08

there's really no going back. And ah

15:10

you know they could. They could be

15:12

you Down are only two left them.

15:16

And you know as anybody is in

15:18

this type of predicament or. Do.

15:20

May be in the beast really should be

15:22

no falling down as inevitable staying dollars a

15:24

choice. And that's

15:27

a really important of. It

15:30

was a metaphor. really important message. Ah,

15:32

in I'll say the Gaelic falling down

15:34

as an axe and staying down as

15:36

a choice. And of you

15:38

know the alias had to be

15:41

noted. Dempster. Really, it's it should

15:43

be a battle. but the best

15:45

way to defend yourself against nurses

15:47

is to just avoid them and

15:49

so no sign of weakness. Ah

15:52

of that any of their tactics

15:54

and they will bentley amp that

15:56

up and and until a point

15:58

or eventually become. Because

16:01

you hope for your behavior just moves

16:03

to extinction.

16:08

It's definitely much more common in men

16:10

than women. And I

16:12

think a lot of times it has to do with

16:14

like sports and early

16:16

parental images or early parental messages

16:19

of you're basing, you can

16:21

do no wrong, you're special. I

16:25

think sometimes it can border on

16:27

delusional thinking, but for the vast

16:30

majority, I don't have

16:33

a clear explanation why it's more common

16:37

in men, but it does tend to be. And

16:39

that could be just the

16:41

structure of which Western society, we have not

16:43

got to a level of

16:46

parity or equality where I think men and

16:48

women should be paid the same and have

16:50

the same opportunities for jobs. And I

16:52

think we say that, but I don't think we do enough

16:54

to really get to that level. So most

16:57

men in the United States are in

16:59

upper level management positions and upper level as

17:01

soon as they have access to more money,

17:03

some more stuff like that. So developing healthy

17:07

narcissism is not necessarily a bad

17:09

thing. And then I think you

17:11

equate that with self-confidence,

17:14

but humility is

17:16

the antithesis of narcissism, is

17:19

the complete opposite. Lacking

17:21

empathy is definitely because if they're

17:24

on a path of trying

17:26

to destroy you in passive ways

17:29

and there's

17:31

a lack of empathy, that would give

17:33

cause for concerns. It's very similar to

17:36

the antisocial. They lack

17:38

empathy and

17:41

that's why they have no regard

17:43

for the violation of societal norms.

17:45

And I talked about that in

17:48

the episode on associopathy and antisocial

17:50

personality disorder. But

17:53

narcissism, especially the covert type,

17:56

because like I said, the term flying

17:58

monkeys, they enlist other people. within their

18:00

social group, they want to gather information about

18:02

you and they want to be able to

18:04

infiltrate as many aspects of your life to

18:06

try to make you crumble, to try to

18:10

make you fall. They often

18:12

create, they will develop and

18:15

perpetuate a smear campaign. Again,

18:18

that can be very passive

18:21

because again, there's this word, the fragility.

18:23

It's like, hey, with the covert, talk

18:25

a big game. You

18:28

know, once you confront me, they're not going to confront you

18:30

because they're scared to death that if they

18:32

confront you, that you're going to call them up. You're

18:35

going to pull that curtain. That's why

18:37

dealing with narcissists is very tricky. And

18:40

again, you don't see them often

18:43

in treatment, but you know, these

18:45

are individuals that unless they really

18:48

hit rock bottom, don't

18:52

tend to get better until they hit

18:54

rock bottom or for some

18:56

miraculous, there's

18:59

some miraculous aha moment. I

19:01

have not, that is I think very

19:04

much the exception. Certainly

19:06

not something that I have seen, but

19:09

you know, in talking with

19:11

individuals, the covert narcissist,

19:13

if you just read the DSM,

19:15

it looks like that classic just,

19:17

you know,

19:20

this cocky person who just cares about

19:23

themselves and disregards the feelings of the

19:25

welfare of other beings, other people, when

19:28

you get into the covert narcissism,

19:31

they don't, they're, they're good. They're

19:34

good chameleons. They're good at

19:36

hiding this stuff and they want something and

19:38

they have an agenda and

19:40

they will pursue things and they, they, because

19:43

they, they're this sense of entitlement and they

19:45

will, they will, they will work their way

19:47

into people's lives and get what they want

19:49

because they believe they deserve it. Then

19:52

they mean, this is true. This is their belief

19:54

of, I deserve this. Not that I want this.

19:56

Yeah, they may want it, but they believe they

19:58

deserve this and I don't believe they deserve They

20:00

believe they're entitled to it. So if

20:02

you believe that they believe they're entitled and deserve it

20:04

and you don't give it to them Shame on you

20:06

and how dare you how

20:09

dare you confront me? And again,

20:11

that's where the confrontation is when it's exposed Not

20:14

the one I want to be a conversation that

20:16

across the dinner table or an island but say

20:18

a wife says something to Her

20:21

friend group and the friend group now brings

20:23

it to the country club and now that

20:25

now the narcissist the covert and everybody loves

20:27

And these gregarious and he's great. This is

20:29

amazing now. He's exposed as being

20:33

Maybe unfaithful or you know lying

20:35

in business and what once

20:37

that gets out. That's when the covert narcissist

20:40

is gonna smile The

20:43

they could likely retreat because

20:45

the humility is too much for them. But

20:47

then comes the revenge we did want

20:49

to No,

20:52

I didn't want to spend a heck of a lot

20:54

of time on this I know that in my in

20:56

my practice Narcissists

20:59

tend to be Very

21:02

fragile in this in

21:04

a very unique way People

21:07

can present as very charming When

21:11

you're in practice for you

21:14

know a Fair amount

21:16

of time you start to get that

21:20

The antenna goes up You

21:22

get the vibe and

21:24

if you don't do what they want you

21:26

to do I've

21:29

had examples of this in my

21:31

practice not currently but in my

21:33

my full-time previous jobs working

21:36

with people I've

21:38

had to deal with narcissistic

21:40

schistic rage It

21:43

made me in it would make you feel unsafe

21:45

and it's scary because they can come off as

21:47

quite tyrannical They're

21:51

easy to upset I

21:54

say them like they I feel like narcissism is

21:56

on a continuum and if you look at anything

21:58

on social media that has any anything to do

22:00

with what people look like

22:02

and how they present to themselves. I

22:05

don't want to tear down the Kardashians, I really

22:07

don't. But it's

22:09

image. So it's about that

22:11

hollow Easter Bunny. It's the

22:14

image. It's all about the image. And if

22:16

that image is shattered, then,

22:18

and I'm not suggesting that any of

22:20

the Kardashians are narcissists, I'm

22:22

just saying what they project

22:25

to the world is just an example of

22:27

when I grew up, I grew up with magazines

22:30

and I grew up with like Brooke

22:32

Shields and you know, Christy Brinkley in the

22:34

swimsuit, you know, they were at

22:37

newsstands, they weren't in my face, they weren't on

22:39

television. So only

22:41

in movies. So I was

22:44

lucky enough not to be surrounded

22:46

with that by that. The

22:49

other thing I wanted to say is that, yes,

22:51

they are very fragile, but narcissists come

22:54

off as very charming, but they, you

22:56

will know very quickly, because

22:59

they always want something from you. They're

23:02

not there to give you anything except take.

23:05

And that is I'm talking about full

23:07

blown narcissism. I'm not talking about narcissistic

23:09

tendencies, because I think on a continuum,

23:12

we all have narcissistic tendencies. I mean, you

23:14

can't go through life not wanting something from

23:16

somebody. Does that mean

23:19

it's narcissism? No, not necessarily. But if you're

23:21

looking at like the DSM-5 and you

23:23

know, the diagnostic criteria to formally

23:26

diagnose someone with narcissistic personality,

23:29

you can pretty much sniff those out

23:31

in real time. They,

23:33

you know, I don't know, I think women have

23:36

come a long way. I

23:38

also think that, you know, there are narcissists

23:41

that do, you know, if you're going to

23:43

bully someone online, and

23:45

you're hiding behind the curtain, you're

23:48

a coward, you know, and that would

23:50

be some perfect example of a covert

23:53

narcissist, I would imagine. And

23:56

there's a lot of cyberbullying. Everyone's

23:58

seen it. So

24:01

if you're in a relationship with someone like that, you

24:04

know, try to get some help. Talk to

24:06

your primary care if you don't have a therapist, try to get

24:08

into treatment. The only thing if you change is

24:10

you. You're never going to

24:12

change that person. They typically do not, like

24:14

Cora said before, they do not engage in

24:16

treatment. They can't tolerate it. And

24:21

you know, I know there's one other thing I wanted

24:23

to say, but they, I say

24:25

it like a they, but they

24:27

are very unique. And

24:30

like I said, fragile. And

24:33

there is narcissistic rage and

24:35

revenge. So you

24:39

know, I don't want to get into politics. I

24:41

mean, Cora made a statement earlier and you know,

24:43

I guess I would agree. It's

24:46

kind of like you're banging your head against the wall

24:49

and you're like, like,

24:51

am I crazy? And

24:54

they prey on dependent personality. So

24:58

that is something that is kind of like

25:00

a two

25:02

wrongs make a wrong. I think

25:04

they prey on dependent personality, but

25:06

prey on people who are vulnerable,

25:08

vulnerability, people they can exploit and

25:10

people that can give them something.

25:13

Right. They're takers. So

25:15

they're givers and takers and they're 100% I

25:17

would believe in full blown narcissists as a

25:19

taker. There's one thing I do

25:21

want to say. I know

25:23

Cora will get back to it before I, I'm

25:26

asking you guys a huge favor

25:29

to, if you can, if

25:31

you're on Instagram, please follow us. We

25:34

have a lame

25:36

page. I know it. It's

25:38

the only way that I can get information

25:41

out to you guys about what

25:43

I'm caring about, what I'm concerned about

25:45

for humanity. And I

25:48

am posting stories because

25:50

I'm so bad at Instagram. But

25:53

if I post these stories and you see

25:55

them and then you follow me, I get

25:57

stronger out there to. vie

26:01

for innocent animals and

26:04

I'm not going to say much more than that but

26:07

on Instagram return to freedom in

26:09

their bio I have it on my story

26:11

I very often

26:14

will post them linked in

26:17

their bio if you

26:19

go to they ask

26:21

you to sign a petition I'm not forcing

26:23

you to sign a petition but if you

26:25

look at the material and you feel like

26:27

comfortable with that you it

26:29

literally directs you if you scroll down to what I

26:32

can do what can I do how do I

26:34

make a stand and then you click on

26:36

that and then it immediately brings you

26:38

to you know where do you live enter

26:41

your zip code gives you your representatives

26:43

of Congress Joe

26:45

Biden President Biden and all these

26:47

other you know heavy hitters and

26:51

the people who really need to be reached in

26:54

order for there to be change and

26:56

there is some good news coming down the pike but

26:58

I think that we have quite a fight ahead of

27:00

us but if you could please follow us Instagram I

27:03

would appreciate it thank you so much

27:06

and thank you for looking at my

27:08

story and just starting education about wild

27:10

horses sorry

27:13

just gotta get it in there and borrows alright

27:19

so yes narcissism

27:22

is definitely it's

27:24

prevalent I know from

27:26

speaking with a lot of you guys the

27:28

question whether you might be in a relationship

27:31

with someone or suspected a

27:33

parent might be these

27:36

are these are dangerous ones and like I

27:38

said the covert I just want to really

27:40

draw attention to that because they they

27:43

blend in they blend in and it's

27:47

scary when somebody operates from

27:50

perspective of entitlement that

27:52

they're special that what they

27:54

want they deserve So

27:57

you can if you if they don't get it. This

28:00

isn't they're gonna go. You know? How

28:02

did the Roman and an end jewelry

28:04

hissy fit this is? I'm gonna come

28:06

after you. And. I'm gonna make

28:08

sure use a pain you caused me

28:11

real or imagined is exponentially more than

28:13

what you caused me. And and again

28:15

listening other people a good novel clinical

28:17

term but flying monkeys eliciting other friends

28:19

who may have come out of the

28:21

one where because they wanna know why

28:23

you're up to they want to know

28:25

They want the know that you're failing.

28:27

They want know the you're hurting, They

28:29

want to know that they are cutting

28:31

off the things are important to you

28:33

and as wise importantly you safeguard yourself

28:35

you say Pete. Also, you safeguard your

28:37

house is safeguards, jobs. As as much

28:39

as you can because the relentless nature.

28:43

Of narcissism in a one of

28:45

when across them to psychopathology. That's

28:47

where it becomes dangerous and and

28:50

and concerning. And the cover ones

28:52

ah and said would you animals

28:55

had their charming. People.

28:58

Miss some all the time and

29:00

the the edo the abusive behavior

29:02

certain convince. The we started

29:04

to think of yourself or convince yourself

29:06

that you are. Byo.

29:09

Your you see this diametrically opposite

29:11

bind said it yourself. sorry that

29:13

chains. Definitely please get into therapy

29:15

or view of their be talk

29:17

to your own therapist about this

29:19

is a large as a Maybe

29:22

this me, maybe I'm crazy and.

29:25

The best, The best and really only

29:27

way to deal with the nurses. This.

29:31

Is to live wealth. And

29:33

to not fall and to not

29:35

go down a path of destruction

29:37

and this is where therapy be

29:40

really helpful and pointing out know

29:42

what's you, watch them and you

29:44

know we're in. A word of

29:46

the to it's in enter Intersect

29:48

so holsters was helpful. Ah I

29:51

will definitely revisit ah of this

29:53

again at some point. So. i

29:56

appreciate all of your see

29:58

bags and involved and and

30:01

engagement you can reach

30:03

out to us through

30:06

psychologyunplugged.com you

30:09

can contact me through psychology today

30:12

you can follow us on Instagram at

30:15

psychology underscore unplugged underscore you can even

30:17

contact me directly at 617-750-9411 East

30:21

Coast Standard Time in the United States until

30:25

next time take care of yourselves

30:27

take care of each other be well ask

30:29

questions and I will talk to you guys

30:31

next week thanks guys bye